Podcasting is Forbidden in the Cloud Recesses

86 – Bury Mom in the Pain Cube

Mon, 24 Jan 2022 02:59:00 -0000

Been a while, but we're finally back! We're talking about episode 33, "Hatred," which asks the very important question of "How many things can you blame on being a Pisces?" Jin Ling invokes Bobby Hill, Jiang Cheng is in prime jiujiu form, and Su She shows exactly how down horrendous he is. Come for the Notes app apology, stay for the Pipixian!

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: Cannibal Corpse - Hammer Smashed Face, perf. by Caleb Canatheviphth Also used: Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

85 – Grimly Moshing

Thu, 18 Nov 2021 05:44:01 -0000

We had to wait for an episode where Wen Ning shows up in the first minute, but we've finally created the sequel to episode ten of this podcast! Sam of Juergen' It, Kyle X Why?, and Zero to Zero joins us this week to talk about season 3, episode 9, "Manifest!" Wei Wuxian gets roasted by a toddler, Nie Huaisang commits to the hype, Su She starts a very bad internet commentary show, and all of us learn a very important lesson: kids rule, adults drool!

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: Robert Buckley - Squonk Blues Also used: Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

84 – BAD THING

Wed, 27 Oct 2021 03:55:06 -0000

Unfortunately, intended guest and Chief Cultivator of the show Caroline wasn't able to make it to this recording session, but their spirit lives on in episode 31, "Fated," which is mostly about Lan Xichen having an extremely bad time. Maybe he can try monologuing at a bnuuy or wearing a Baby Wangy Backpack or taking some Gento-Bismol! At least Jiggy's wearing his hot dog costume so we know he'll find the guy who did this!

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: 311 - Amber, arr. by Roy Also used: Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

83 – He's Literally Adjective

Thu, 21 Oct 2021 04:28:23 -0000

Marriage Story is a 2019 drama film written and directed by Noah Baumbach which follows a married couple going through a coast-to-coast divorce. Mo Dao Zu Shi season 3 episode 7, "Deviated Spirit," is a 2021 piece of web animation which follows 3 dudes as 2 of them go through a magic divorce. In this one, Nie Mingjue cannot say no, Jin Guangyao has a funny prop, everything goes according to keikaku, and your hosts offer some of the spiciest takes the listenerbase has ever goaded them into offering!

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: System of a Down - Chop Suey!, perf. by Maga Flauta Fitness Also used: Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

82 – Nevernude City

Thu, 14 Oct 2021 03:58:24 -0000

Today we're looking at season 3, episode 6, "The Venerated Triad," and you may ask what we can possibly say about it other than "grapefruit" and "gaa goo," but rest assured, we've got almost as many hours of podcast this week as there are sworn brothers in this one. H-truther Jordan is back again to talk about a very good episode where Wei Wuxian gets Jigscared, Nie Mingjue (large (handsome (good voice (king)))) has hell of a decade to complain about, and Lan Xichen's IQ (internet quotient) is doubted. Pour the Prosicko and decide which zun you're not inviting to the party!

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: Devo - Whip It, perf. by Jenny Robinson Also used: Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

wum.

81 – My Gummi Diaphragm

Wed, 06 Oct 2021 03:29:49 -0000

monky

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: Mike Oldfield - Tubular Bells, arr. & perf. by DonRock the Imposter Also used: Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

80 – We're All Worried About Neil Breen

Tue, 28 Sep 2021 22:59:32 -0000

The scent of twerk wind in the air can mean only one thing: we're talking about season 3 episode 4, "Getting Drunk!" It's a funny comedy episode all about our friend Wangy breaking edge and unleashing his funny little (huge, wide) guy vibes. What more could you want? A sus turtle? Wet puppets? AUs? You want fucking AUs? Government-mandated Wrightworth milk fic? Cause we got all those too!

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: Heathers: The Musical (comp. Laurence O'Keefe & Kevin Murphy) - Candy Store, arr. & perf. by Melissa Hoover Also used: Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

79 – Sexual Cold Steel

Tue, 14 Sep 2021 08:59:38 -0000

This week Chief Cultivator of the show Colin joins us less to talk about season 3, episode 3, "The Dream" and more to talk about how married Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen are. In this sakuga all-timer, Xue Yang is the hotstepper, Wei Wuxian animates some piñatas, A-Qing becomes Scott Stapp, Song Lan receives the greatest and most tragic screentime-to-impact ratio seen thus far, and we all learn how to defeat an invisible opponent. See you in Delaware!

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: Rihanna ft. Jay-Z - Umbrella, perf. by Emily Phillips Also used: Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

78 – My Beautiful Dark Twisted GAD

Wed, 08 Sep 2021 00:46:41 -0000

GRAPEFRUIT

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: Megadeth - Tornado of Souls, arr. & perf. by Yiğit Şahan Yüksel Also used: Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

77 – No, I'm Talking About Businessman Ass

Mon, 16 Aug 2021 02:59:00 -0000

Get your juriken ready and prepare a joffering to jelders, because we are HYPE and our PUSSIES ARE POGGING for the first episode of donghua season 3, "Yi City!" Nie Huaisang has his jocks do some efficient hupping, Jin Ling does a tungi, Lan Wangji gets a little goopy with it, and Nie Mingjue shows up to act hilarious. Meanwhile, your hosts are getting mad about a certain horrible little man whose name they can pronounce a little better now, keeping track of the Wangy Smile Count, and giving a rundown of Mars Volta lore!

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: Morris Day & the Time - Jungle Love (Prime Cuts DJ Edit by Greg Lee) Also used: Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

76 – State of the Penis Address

Fri, 06 Aug 2021 23:59:53 -0000

Oh, BOY, have we got news this week! Before we get to chapters 85 and 86, we discuss the onslaught of season 3 trailers and the announcement of the official English novel translations! Then we do the reading, where everybody holds the Jiggy Is Over Party, Jin Guangshan (whom you should never be) reenacts The Dark Crystal, Wei Wuxian gets respected???, and Roy cycles through every member of Team Rocket. We also determine each sect's fast food choices, discover the anti-pog, and try to comprehend the latest M. Night Shyamalan vehicle!

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: Yes - Don't Kill the Whale, arr. by Roy Also used: Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

save da whale my final message

75 – A Boy Mystery

Tue, 27 Jul 2021 17:59:00 -0000

"Loyalty" arc? More like "BOYalty" arc! Professional Boy Enjoyer Kay of Special Grade Snax joins us this time to read chapters 83 and 84! Our nice wet friend Mr. Wen gets a zombie birthday, Jiang Cheng goes to Pride, Lan Wangji gives Wei Wuxian (platonic) uppies, and all of the juniors be on they damn phones. Also, we take a look at the newest season 3 donghua trailer, where the coffee is excellent, the bussy game is ridiculous, and the little guys go around on their tricycles. Jiggy says Gaa Goo in it so it's the best one so far.

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: Lady Gaga - Born This Way, arr. & perf. by Claire Holdich Also used: Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

74 – Family Guy Bloody Moments

Tue, 20 Jul 2021 17:59:00 -0000

This week, returning guest cultivator and resident Fossologist Jordan joins us to read chapters 81 and 82, parts 3 and 4 of the "Loyalty" arc, and contemplate the meaning of Gaa Goo! Su She reincarnates into George Lucas, Nie Huaisang invents MLMs, Ouyang Zizhen gets a good voice, and Wen Ning tries out a less specified role. By the way, please accept our apologies on behalf of Jiang Cheng. He committed two unforgivable sins but he became Catholic afterward. Best mecision he's ever made!

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: They Might Be Giants - Particle Man (Instrumental) Also used: Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

73 – Dage Pog

Mon, 12 Jul 2021 22:15:32 -0000

Persons of Justice unite! Today we're reading chapters 79 and 80, parts 1 and 2 of the "Loyalty" arc, two very good chapters where a guy who sucks gets publicly owned! Su She gets copyright claimed, Wei Wuxian has a goo, Lan Wangji gets diagnosed with Handsome Boy Disease, and your hosts are on #AmogusWatch2k21. A good episode, in our opinions, aside from the worst Google Translate Essence Collection segment ever!

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: Imagine Dragons - Believer, perf. by Rec0rderMast3r Also used: Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway Pornosonic – If It Ain’t Easy, It Ain’t Sleazy: Nice N Sleazy Does It

72 – Trou Drop Checkpoint

Thu, 17 Jun 2021 01:48:46 -0000

Folks, we are back, and we are approaching you with three awful chapters and 6.90 Textile King of the show Sarah! We're looking at the "Nightfall" arc (chapters 76, 77, and 78), which sure is the part of the novel ever. Everyone is doing Arthur fist, we bid a fond farewell to a beloved wifeguy, Crocodile Dundee pays a visit, and Wei Wuxian once again becomes the damn Joker. Plus, we discover what it takes to really make a failson, and we ask perhaps the most important question of them all: what if it was the Loud Recesses?

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: Digital Underground - The Humpty Dance (Instrumental) Also used: The Untamed OST - Yong Ge (Instrumental) The Untamed OST - Yi Nan Ping (Instrumental)

PodRecesses Extended Universe 2: The Beginner's Guide + Recap

Mon, 10 May 2021 23:59:07 -0000

While Fallon is once again fighting their way out of the California Burial Mound, Roy is joined by friend of the show and newcomer to the cultivation world Rainer to have a nice relaxing four-hour discussion about what exactly Mo Dao Zu Shi is! That's what you do over two years into a podcast about a topic, after all. In "My Dinner with Roy," find out what exactly this media property is, what a cultivator is, how names work, and, since this is a recap episode, everything that's happened in the novel through chapter 75! And please stick around even after Roy says the words "I want Anastasia Rasputin in my body." I beg of you.

Follow along with Roy's """""""""helpful"""""""""" slideshow!

Intro & Outro: Luis Fonsi ft. Daddy Yankee – Despacito, arr. & perf. by Eelin Lim

71 – Call Me Precum Cause I Be Dripping

Tue, 13 Apr 2021 15:59:05 -0000

Happy Homestuck Day! We're honoring the occasion by discovering all the ways in which MDZS and Andrew Hussie's [VALUE JUDGMENT REDACTED] webcomic are exactly the same! Then we read chapter 75, "Distance--part II," a good chapter where Wen Ning gets his brain back and immediately becomes a butler, Wei Wuxian is the demons, everyone at the Burial Mound plays American football with a baby, and Jiang Yanli is, as some might say, Very Clean. Come have a listen! And please let us know if you have any idea what potato onomatopoeia might be.

(The Official PodRecesses MDZS/Homestuck Venn Diagram can be found here)

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: Kenshi Yonezu - Lemon, arr. & perf. by Jae Meng Also used: Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

70 – Flamin' Hot Cheetos (Which We All Love)

Tue, 06 Apr 2021 15:59:13 -0000

Debate all you want about whether this qualifies as an "episode" when we spend perhaps 1/4 of it talking about chapter 74, "Distance--part I." It means nothing to either the cancelled hosts of this extremely cancelled podcast or Chief Cultivator of the show Milk. While Wei Wuxian forgets his car, A-Yuan meets his first not-stinky adult, and Lan Wangji does baby voice, we focus on the important matters at hand: embracing/avoiding our Shindanmaker Fates, discovering the origin of Death Grips, finding tiny men, and undergoing forced Noisespacification.

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: Sadie Stanley - Call Me, Beep Me (Kim Possible Theme), perf. by Gregory Taylor Also used: Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

69 – (Nice) Doodoo-ragonist

Tue, 30 Mar 2021 15:59:05 -0000

We've made it to 69 (nice (funny)) episodes and 2 years of laffs! Dr. Janos Podcasts joins us this week to read chapter 73, "Recklessness--part II," a normal chapter where nothing bad happens and we all finish it feeling good and normal. Jiang Cheng declares his brother Hank Hill, Wei Wuxian says fuck, Jin Guangyao comes to save the day, the entire cultivation world collectively announces that women be women, and Nie Mingjue doesn't appear enough. Meanwhile, the government assigns us kin, the fandom is once again bad and wrong, and we engage in a 13-minute-long conversation about Steely Dan, because if you love it, fuck it.

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: Southern Playas - Dickey Ride Also used: Pornosonic - If It Ain't Easy, It Ain't Sleazy: Nice N Sleazy Does It

(If you are listening to this anywhere other than on Noise Space dot X Y Zed website, then you are listening to a STOLEN version. We do not give anyone permission to re-post our podcasts to other sites.)

68 – Rollin' Up Stinky

Wed, 24 Mar 2021 03:11:15 -0000

Coming to you live from our new """"""""""studio"""""""""" (kitchen table with 2 acoustic foam squares), we're here to read chapter 72, "Recklessness--part I," and get into some clowntroversy! In this chapter, everybody heads to the Koi Tower, where Jiggy's OnlyFans finds its best-paying subscriber, Bitch McGuangshan Stand Up, and the entire cultivation world has ethics to argue and themes to put on display. You can also join us as we write a really good Gaia Online AU, learn about cookie metal, and explore horticulture, both in the form of growing Maynard James Keenans and enjoying Orntch! We welcome both Waffle House asses and brunch-ass bitches alike!

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: Cardi B ft. Megan Thee Stallion - WAP, arr. & perf. by Junior Marvel Also used: Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

67 – He Is To Smart For School

Tue, 09 Mar 2021 17:59:58 -0000

Gather round, slimelikers and fastboy math calculators! It is our burden to report on both chapter 71, "Departure--part III," and the latest disgraceful act of fandom rendering the internet inoperable. In this chapter, rude stinky pit boy Wei Wuxian meets up with Lan Wangji for a cringe compilation livestream, enters a Ratatouille flashback, and goes orangutan mode. Meanwhile, your hosts have a game to play, a Rick Sanchez quota to hit, and some zodiac signs to apologize to (and for). Whether you're #WithHer or whether you're hitting the Jiggy butt buffet, we hope you enjoy!

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: Ariana Grande - Positions, arr. & perf. by Juliana MM Also used: Think! (Jeopardy Theme Song) – Merv Griffin; perf. by Johann Chan Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

66 – Qiankun Jorts

Tue, 02 Mar 2021 18:59:45 -0000

It's chapter 70, "Departure--part II," and we've got Chief Cultivator of the show Jared here to help us try out "entirely to damn many" funny voices! We've got a legacy of Punished Marge to uphold, after all. In this one, Jiang Yanli owns everyone with facts and logic, just about every Jin throws a tantrum, and only one man (not shown) has the vision, the power, and the thighs to escape any culpability. Afterwards, we all learn a little something about car foreheads and girlboss soundtracks, and Fallon takes a breaky from their bakey to lay down the Fanfiction.net law.

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: LMFAO - Party Rock Anthem, arr. & perf. by Jon Reed Also used: Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

65 – Look At How My Boy's Posting Cringe

Tue, 23 Feb 2021 17:59:25 -0000

In no good faith could we talk about the funny sex number chapter (aka "Departure--Part I") without Sworn Brother Without Manners Brooks (notes pictured). This week, we take a look at the parallels between MDZS and Ariel Needs Legs, whether it's white knighting if it's for your sister, the real meaning of Blue Forgetting Machine, taking thicc leave, and, of course, Donust. Plus, Brooks throws your hosts the jokerfication option in a special revival of a long-dead bit. Much to think about!

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: Walter Murphy, Seth MacFarlane, & David Zuckerman - Family Guy Main Theme, arr. & perf. by Flute Hero Also used: Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

crankyankers2021 bring it back

64 – Joseph Robinette Bichen

Wed, 17 Feb 2021 04:37:00 -0000

Today we wrap up the "Tendewness" arc with chapters 67 and 68, officially ending our long national nightmare of waiting to get to chapter funny 69 (nice). In this episode, MXTX shows off her degree in clickbait, Wen the not alive anymore Ning gets a good new voice, Wei Wuxian be's delicate, Lan Wangji makes ellipses audible, there's some ninjers, and a boy embodies the sentiment and use of Jack Spicer. Meanwhile, your hosts discover Virtual Rickality, Fallon remembers a bit, and Roy breaks a personal record! Oh, and remember Su She? He's back and he still sucks!

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: Quincy Jones - Soul Bossa Nova Also used: Julius Fucik – Entry of the Gladiators, arr. & perf. by Orlan Charles Jim Johnson - Rest in Peace (Undertaker Theme), arr. & perf. by Hakim Sayed Nasir

63 – I Did Not Perpetrate Boneghazi

Tue, 09 Feb 2021 17:59:43 -0000

We are getting dangerously close to the sex number (of both chapters AND episodes), but today, we're talking about chapters 65 & 66, parts III and IV of the "Tenderness" arc. Lan Xichen XY gets out of his freezer bed to do some bump-n-dump, Lan Wangji looks disrespectfully, Wei Wuxian puts on the most benevolent possible trollface, Li'l Apple takes a Li'l Napple, and your hosts enroll in an impromptu Icelandic language course. Don't forget to spay and bneuter your bnuuy!

RIP LAN QIREN HE WAS KILLED BY HIS BOYS MAKING IT CLAP ON THE GRAM

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: Fallon & Roy, ft. CSoul & Jajanken – At a glance, you still recognize you are envious of you, fairy love Also used: Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

62 – R.L. Gind's Goofbumps

Wed, 03 Feb 2021 03:22:37 -0000

Join your hosts at the Thomas Kinkade house of the extremely normal Lan family for chapters 63 and 64, parts 1 and 2 of the "Tenderness" arc! In this episode, Wei Wuxian is in full uguu mode, Lan Wangji (strapped) makes a bitch thing come out of his mouth, and Lan Xichen reminds us that his room is called the cold room because he be chilling. Meanwhile, Roy becomes QQAnon, Fallon introduces a new segment, and we both put on our airbrushed badass Jiggy t-shirts for it all!

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: Steely Dan - Chain Lightning; arr. & perf. by Bill McBirnie Also used: Death Note Original Soundtrack (Hideki Taniuchi) - Near Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

61 – PogChao

Tue, 26 Jan 2021 16:59:08 -0000

Wei Wuxian is BACK, and he is so sick, twisted, and Jokerfied that he has carved the Slayer logo onto so many parts of his body that, in the name of The Plomacy, your hosts needed friend of the show Max to help count them all. We read the entire "Evil" ("Despicable") arc, where we get to watch Wang Lingjiao take part in the Russian Sleep Experiment, calculate the width of both Wen Zhuliu and George "Fishgrinder" Corpseman's necks, witness death by nae nae, and learn what an antifa supersoldier truly is. May the sentiment and use of Wen Chao live on.

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Nadav Eliyahu Outro: Slayer – Raining Blood, arr. & perf. by Soft as a Pear Also used: Julius Fucik - Entry of the Gladiators, arr. & perf. by Orlan Charles Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

60 – Qing & Morty

Fri, 15 Jan 2021 04:21:00 -0000

It is at last time to finish up the Pussin's Arc with chapter 60! We're putting on our jobes in honor of history's most tragic bruh moment. Jiang Cheng has been epicly memed, Wei Wuxian hambones, Wen Qing explains things queerly, and your leftist Communist Marxist (fascist) hosts are dying hard and loving controversy, as usual.

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: Pink Floyd - Another Brick in the Wall; arr. & perf. by Fabio Vetro Also used: Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

59 – Ham Bong

Tue, 05 Jan 2021 16:59:00 -0000

The plot rememberers have logged back on, and this time we're reading chapters 58 and 59, parts III and IV of the "Poisons" arc! These chapters are extremely sad, but don't worry, we found the worst ways possible to have fun with them. Jiang Cheng feels a mother's love for the first time in his life, Wei Wuxian is catatonic (but hurgling), Wen Ning don't snitch, and Wen Zhuliu gets a good and funny voice as well as good and funny thoughts. Also, your hosts explore all of the things you can make a bong out of, create divorce boat schematics, and have a squeege with the lads.

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: dog shit.mp3 Also used: Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

58 – Daddy Kong Has Passed Away

Tue, 08 Dec 2020 16:59:37 -0000

This week, your hosts are logging into their little accounts and posting their little takes about chapter 57, "Poisons--pt. III," and if you thought Madam Yu would never give an #EpicClapback then we kindly invite you to spit out your cereal. In this chapter, Wei Wuxian is disrespectful to dirt (Wen Chao), the Wen sect officially crosses the disgusting event horizon, and we learn that no matter how magic a teen may be, getting grounded is still the ultimate punishment. Meanwhile, your hosts discuss sexy robot maid twins, how good Megamind (2010) is, and the power words of "Keanu Xichen."

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: Danzig - Mother; arr. by Roy Also used: Think! (Jeopardy Theme Song) - Merv Griffin; perf. by Johann Chan Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

57 – Sixth Stage of Grief

Tue, 01 Dec 2020 14:59:48 -0000

We’re high on podcasting, babey! This week, we sit down and click like on chapter 56, part I of the “Poisons” arc. Wei Wuxian is back home, ready to be awarded some good boy points, Madam Yu gets added to Smash, faildad Jiang Fengmian takes the failfamily on a nice failcation, and the Q writers do some more baby torment. Sorry your hosts are like this, by the way!

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: Kirk van Houten - Can I Borrow a Feeling? Also used: Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

56 – A Man Bababooied

Sun, 22 Nov 2020 04:22:04 -0000

It’s Fat Xuanwu Week, so what can we say? Big episode, big turtle. We did the unthinkable and read three entire chapters: 53-55, parts 3-5 of the “Courage” arc! In these ones, Lan Wangji makes the Sophie’s choice between “leg” or “virginity”,” Wei Wuxian uses how annoying he is medicine, and everybody has severe Tool Video Brain. Well, except for your hosts, who are too busy reminiscing about 1977 horror film Death Bed: The Bed That Eats. All this and a beautiful baby birthday treat for a beautiful baby birthday boy!

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: Darude – Sandstorm, arr. & perf. by DJ Enculé Also used: Zu i Xue, Zheng Fanxing, Qi Peixin, & Guo Cheng (The Untamed OST) - Zui Shi Shao Nian Bu Ke Qi

A Birthday to Jiang Wanyin’s Self

Sat, 07 Nov 2020 05:59:00 -0000

We have bad news and good news. Fallon’s mom is going to be visiting us for a bit and we were planning on getting an episode out before then, but the bad news is our schedule hit a snag and that wasn’t able to happen. The good news is we aren’t leaving you totally hanging! This past Thursday was Jiang Cheng’s birthday, and what will be this episode’s Google Translate Essence Collection is in honor of the rude man himself! So this may not be a full episode, but we hope you enjoy this little snack of a segment before it joins the rest of episode 56 sometime (goku willing) around November 17th. Happy birthday, jiujiu! May all your glutinous catgirl dreams come true!

55 – Orange Douglas

Wed, 28 Oct 2020 23:59:00 -0000

u.nhnnnnnnnnnnhhhhhg ghhhhh wangji baaallll

HUYUUU

Pointed Bouce.
Pointed Bouce.

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: Danny Elfman – This is Halloween, arr. & perf. by Gina Luciani

54 – Dude-Borne Illness

Mon, 19 Oct 2020 01:59:32 -0000

We’re really in it now, Ariana, and “it” is chapter 51, “Courage—part 1.” We’ve finally managed to make it back to content that was in the donghua (remember the donghua?)! It’s flashback time, and specifically it’s the flashback time when Madam Yu and her skateboarding meidos Epicly Own her son, all the kids go to fascism camp, Lan Wangji has an out-of-Bobby experience, and MXTX once again decides to tell us fuck all about one of the most interesting side characters she’s created. Best of all, Jiang Yanli is finally here to up our TTPP (Total Treats Per Page) ratio!

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: Ricebubs - One Bad Gloop (because it’s October 2020) Also used: Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

53 – Magna Cum Loud

Tue, 06 Oct 2020 16:59:00 -0000

This week we needed to bring chief cultivator Scout on to help us get through chapter 50, the final section of the “Guile” arc, because it sure is a chapter where many things happen! In this installment, Wei Wuxian gets back to his meat sack, everybody tries to come party in Little Uncle’s Sleepy Palace, and we bid a couple of solemn RIPs to Nie Mingjue. We’re talking magic encephalitis. We’re talking disappointing female character arcs. We’re talking Jiang Cheng’s worst habits. We’re talking baseball surgery. Just mind the bongs.

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: Bruno Mars – Grenade, arr. & perf. by Vineet Gopal Also used: Luciano Michelini - Frolic Homo Satori - Silent Leaves Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

52 – I Plead SOMDDA

Fri, 25 Sep 2020 01:22:17 -0000

The jgiiy is up! This is a very important episode, not only because hunk of the show and Mr. Podcasts János is here with us, but also because MXTX let Nie Huaisang say Fuck. It's chapter 49, "Guile--part IV." Nie Mingjue has a heated gaming moment, Jin Guangyao is friends with a felon, and Wei Wuxian declares his past self cringe. Hop on the trolley (problem) and join us!

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: The damn Onceler - How Bad Can I Be, perf. by Rolobi Also used: Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

51 – detergence..

Fri, 18 Sep 2020 01:08:41 -0000

Anger is the color of our energy this episode, as we read chapter 48, "Guile--part III!" Nie Mingjue('s head) does a very unique form of venting and causes Wei Wuxian to witness his adventures as he Logs Into His Damn Account and experiences some intermediate to advanced drama. Jiggy does Influencer Voice a lot, Lan Xichen says the most heterosexual thing imaginable, and we try to do our dick diligence despite having to discuss some very unfortunate literary ownership.

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: Tool - Lateralus, arr. perf. by Shrouded Day Also used: Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway Luciano Michelini - Frolic, arr. & perf. by Daniel Tidwell

MISTER FIFTY EPISODES Q&A SPECIAL!

Sat, 12 Sep 2020 02:25:09 -0000

We made it to 50 entire episodes so we decided to celebrate by letting you (the listeners) ask us (the hosts) whatever you want (questions)! Apologies for the amount of time we spend scrounging Google Image Search and inside the concept of Swedish furniture retailer Ikea. Hopefully, between transmuting rice into hockey pucks and listening to twink ASMR, we provide answers!

Intro: Luis Fonsi ft. Daddy Yankee – Despacito, arr. & perf. by Eelin Lim Outro: Taylor Swift - Look What You Made Me Do, arr. & perf. by Cynthia Wong

50 – An Advantageous Face

Tue, 01 Sep 2020 22:59:00 -0000

(CW because I forgot to record a warning: discussions of child death, gaslighting, and other forms of psychological abuse)

Happy Manlet Monday, everybody! We've made it to 50 entire episodes, and to celebrate, sworn NoiseSpace brother of the show Jordan has joined us to tackle the longest chapter of the entire novel, chapter 47, "Guile--part II!" Today we take the Jin Sect Memorial Clout Highway to a big fancy party where we finally get to meet Jin "Jiggy" Guangyao and his wife, an extremely normal couple who definitely have nothing bad happening in their relationship, and then Wei Wuxian does arts and crafts in order to discover some pretty run-of-the-mill secret torture room stuff. We worked very hard in the fandom mines to bring you this, so we hope you enjoy and don't cancel anyone's wives!

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: Paper Mario Color Splash OST (comp. Takeru Kanazaki, Shigemitsu Goto, & Fumihiro Isobe) – Thing (Flute) Also used: Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

49 – Geniues. Genioious. Gineoius

Tue, 25 Aug 2020 22:34:00 -0000

Hey, remember the cut-up zombie parts that are the reason this novel's plot is happening? In chapter 46, "Guile--Part I," we finally learn who they belong to (his name is Charles)! This week, your hosts exit the liminal space known as "the toilet" and get down to Will Grahaming it through Lan Xichen's tragic ordeal of identifying a body by its dick. That's the whole chapter, really. Just kind of a lot of nude dead man dick. Sorry

Don’t forget to send us some question for our upcoming Q&A bonus episode! Email them to cloudrecessespod@gmail.com or send them to us on Social Media with “Q&A” written somewhere in there!

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin
Outro: Celine Dion – My Heart Will Go On; arr. & perf. by Matt Mulholland
Also used: Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

48 – MuncieArbuckle Sect

Tue, 18 Aug 2020 16:59:36 -0000

Last week we saw a lot of funny comedy drunkenness, so it's only right that this week our very own Chief Cultivator/Entergage Officer Colin At Padgettish joins us to talk about The Morning After. In chapter 45, the third and final installment of the "Allure" arc, the gang splits up, teaches us some folklore, ignores respect, cultivates the Dao of Fortnite, and says R.I.P. to Bluto-jun. Also we spend a surprising amount of time at Busch Gardens, where Lan Wangji cosplays both Fabio and the Unabomber.

Don't forget to send us some question for our upcoming Q&A bonus episode! Email them to cloudrecessespod@gmail.com or send them to us on Social Media with "Q&A" written somewhere in there!

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: Gorillaz – Clint Eastwood; arr. & perf. by Daniel Lavandero Also used: Edd Kalehoff – The Price is Right Theme Song; perf. by Matt Sawyer

CRANKY KONG HAS PASSED AWAY AND HUNKY KONG IS HERE TO STAY

47 – Project IMGAYULTRA

Tue, 11 Aug 2020 19:42:10 -0000

There are chapters of the web novel Mo Dao Zu Shi, and then there are Looney Tunes shorts, and chapters 43 and 44 are kind of both. They're also the horniest chapters we've read so far. In the first two parts of the "Allure" arc, Wen Ning details causing an SCP containment breach, we learn the joke of Lan Jingyi (chicken), Lan Wangji places Wei Wuxian under Fucker's Arrest, and between all of these things, we discover the Key of the Genious. This episode is brought to you by the letters E and G!

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: Nelly – Hot in Herre, arr. & perf. by Teemunney

46 – Yuri the Clerk (Twinkster)

Thu, 30 Jul 2020 01:47:00 -0000

We did it. The "Grasses" arc is done, and now that we've made it to chapter 4-diddly-2, we can move on with our damn lives. Wei Wuxian puts on his jeans tuxedo, gives a bunch of little boys depression, and teaches Lan Wangji about distribution of labor. Song Lan learns how to use a microwave. Jin Guangyao unfortunately does some comrade shit. But most importantly, we follow The Genious's Way and deny Xue Yang his woobie clout.

Intro: Tyga ft. Xiaoyu Lu Archive & Microsoft Sam – Yi City, arr. by Roy Outro: "Wicked" Soundtrack (comp. Stephen Schwartz) - What is This Feeling?, arr. & perf. by Lori Sutherland Also used: -Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway -Avengers: Infinity War Soundtrack (comp. Alan Silvestri) - Thanos Theme Suite

45 – Beholden' Deez Nuts

Wed, 22 Jul 2020 02:23:00 -0000

Since we'd spend 90% of this episode saying the words "become the damn Joker" if we were left by ourselves, we brought professional podcast Scorpio (Nie) MJ on to bring us some clout. We've made it to chapter 41, which means we FINALLY get to exit the Empathy zone. But not before Xue Yang decides to be the most normal he's ever been. It sucks but we're almost done with him. We taste the fruit punch of Christ, salute A-Qing so hard, and at last return to our funny comedy boys in the present time. Hell arc. Sorry.

Intro: Tyga ft. Xiaoyu Lu Archive & Microsoft Sam – Yi City, arr. by Roy Outro: My Chemical Romance - Welcome to the Black Parade, perf. by Edith Frank Also used: -Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

44 – Fear is the Little Dentist

Sat, 11 Jul 2020 04:49:00 -0000

Y'all ever live with someone for 2 years and never bother asking your roommate what his name is? After reading chapter 40, "Grasses," part 8, we can't help but wonder whether doing that might have been able to solve a lot of the problems here. Not a very fun chapter, but we did spend almost 2 hours and 20 fuck minutes talking about it. Wei Wuxian yells at Forensic Files, Xue Yang puts on his tactical clown nose and reads us his manifesto, and we mourn the dream team that could have been Song Lan and A-Qing giving one of this novel's 7 murder twinks (Maybe More) an awful waffle.

Intro: Tyga ft. Xiaoyu Lu Archive & Microsoft Sam – Yi City, arr. by Roy Outro: Kate Bush - This Woman's Work, arr. & perf. by Jef Kearns Also used: -Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

43 – Take a Fucking Simp, Babes

Wed, 24 Jun 2020 04:11:22 -0000

This week on PodRecesses, we needed a jury of three in order to--with no pleasure in our hearts--declare Xiao Xingchen a centrist, and sect leader of the show Sarah McCostumes was more than willing to lay the law down. We spend about 20 minutes making eyeball jokes, then talk about chapter 39, "Grasses" part 7, where everyone makes everyone else experience situations and which, like every book from Neil Gaiman's Stardust to Frank Sherbert's Dude, may very well be having themes. Still no idea what's up with the possibly sentient zombie cow in this chapter, though.

Intro: Tyga ft. Xiaoyu Lu Archive & Microsoft Sam – Yi City, arr. by Roy Outro: Yugo Kanno - Akuyaku Kyosokyoku Also used: -Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

42 – Anybody Got Any Yogies?

Wed, 17 Jun 2020 02:59:59 -0000

Would you look at that? It's a damn episode! We read chapter 38, part 6 of the "Grasses" arc! Wei Wuxian teaches us about the intelligent's of normies and then lies completely A-Qing on the pavement, while Fallon takes us on a Grandpa adventure. Oh, and if this ends up our final episode before Jeffree Star doxxes us for internet clout, make sure our loved ones get the Kia Soul ad bucks.

Intro: Tyga ft. Xiaoyu Lu Archive & Microsoft Sam – Yi City, arr. by Roy Outro: Yu Miyake - Katamari on the Rocks, arr. by pixeltea Also used: -Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

41 – Joth Supremacy

Thu, 21 May 2020 01:22:09 -0000

On this very special occasion of Nie Huaisang’s birthay, we read chapter 37, “Grasses–pt. V,” so you KNOW we’re talking Jokey’s Trick, a new universal dad, and Don Juan DeMarco (1994). Also Fallon revs their damn Fire Emblem engine, and Roy flexes her encyclopedic Wayne’s World knowledge (again). Song Lan rules dude

Intro: Tyga ft. Xiaoyu Lu Archive & Microsoft Sam – Yi City, arr. by Roy
Outro: White Zombie – More Human Than Human, arr. by Roy
Also used:
-MDZS Audio Drama OST – Trials of the Troubled Swan

40 – web site. Graphic's

Sun, 10 May 2020 03:38:02 -0000

It took us 40 episodes, but we finally made a 2-hour-long episode. Sorry bout it! Today, we’re talking about chapters 35 and 36, parts 3 and 4 of the “Grasses” arc, and returning guest cultivator Val Flightcub comes along as we meet a living pair of Fucci slides, browse the Jiang Cheng Penney’s sword catalogue, and learn that the deader you are, the less alive you are. All this plus surprise guest appearances by Inuyasha’s son, Binuyasha, and Siri.

Intro: Tyga ft. Xiaoyu Lu Archive & Microsoft Sam – Yi City, arr. by Roy
Outro: Peter Lurye & Little Richard (RIP) – Ride on the Magic School Bus, arr. & perf. by David Tsai
Also used:
-Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

39 – They're Calling Me Hotbrain Bigtakes

Tue, 28 Apr 2020 16:59:22 -0000

It’s time to finish out “this” “””episode.””” We are here, we are Sean, and we are talking about chapter 34, part 2 of the “Grasses” arc, as well as bears as a unit of measure, the contents of Lan Jingyi’s brain, stolen clout valor, and Raymond Animalcrossing takes (spoiler alert: he be printing). Try not to scream in your sleep too much.

Intro: Tyga ft. Xiaoyu Lu Archive & Microsoft Sam – Yi City, arr. by Roy
Outro: John Mulaney & the Sack Lunch Bunch Soundtrack – Music, Music Everywhere!
Also used:
-Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

39 – Huge, Wide, and Large

Tue, 21 Apr 2020 03:02:42 -0000

WE’RE BACK kind of. We’re at least hobbling out of the Yiling dollar store in our Fucci slides with half of an episode because we’re still trying to claw our way out of our hiatus. Today on this auspicious funny weed day, we’re reading chapter 33, part 1 of the appropriately-named “Grasses” arc. The vibes are stank, a single chicken is getting fed, the zombies are getting bullied, and if like 19 paragraphs of text are to be believed, it’s all bad.

Intro: …
Outro: Danny Elfman – This is Halloween, arr. & perf. by Gina Luciani
Also used:
-Léo Delibes – Flower Duet, arr. by Jeanne Baxtresser, perf. by Gina Luciani, Laurel Ann Maurer, & Jed Moss

38 – Starring Jennifer Coolidge

Thu, 27 Feb 2020 05:50:33 -0000

Hi! We were terrorized by a stinkbug the entire time we recorded this episode! And all we’re trying to do is talk about the extremely good chapters of 31 and 32, parts 4 and 5 of the “Dew” arc, which consist of kids doing war LARP, freezy weezies, severed hunk torsos, a lot of ASMR, and, of course, Hanguang-jun shitfaced lmao

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin
Outro: Childish Gambino – Redbone, arr. & perf. by Sana Colter
Also used:
-Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

37 – The Pinkening

Tue, 18 Feb 2020 17:56:40 -0000

It’s chapter 30, so we’re living fast and eating ass! In this gargantuan god damned chapter, we learn the horrible story of some boys who deserved better and definitely were only best friends and nothing more, enjoy the return of Comrade NMJ, and witness some Interesting Parallels! Awful lot of crimes, too. Wild how that works. This episode is brought to you by the letter 2.

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin
Outro: Sukima Switch – Golden Time Lover, arr. by Yang Chok, “perf.” by Roy
Also used:
-Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

Valentine's Day Is Forbidden In The Cloud Recesses SPECIAL!

Sat, 15 Feb 2020 00:39:00 -0000

Happy Valentine’s Day! In honor of the human emotion of “love,” we bring you a selection of Google Translate-enhanced fanfiction care of you, our listeners. Read along (and enjoy the equally excellent un-Googlified versions) here! Have a sexee one!

Intro: Ben E. King – Stand By Me, arr. & perf. by Garyan Wong
Outro: Wham! – Careless Whisper, perf. by Makoto Ogata

36 – Either DM Me Or Hit My Line Bro I Got Loud I'm Tryna Reach Immortality

Tue, 04 Feb 2020 17:59:26 -0000

It’s February, and it’s time for us to Do the Dew (arc). We read chapters 28 and 29! Wei Wuxian’s on his gremlin shit again, so we can leave him to do that while we talk about bad drink luck, the 3 things you GOTTA know about cultivators, and how this entire novel is a D&D campaign. Also we get introduced to ancient Chinese vampire times’ #1 yeeked-up celebrity goodboy! Feel free to listen over a nice dish of beer nuts, or some whip cream, if you prefer.

Take part in our Valentine’s Day special! Write a little “fan fiction” and put that trademark Podrecesses twist on it and we’ll read it! RULES HERE:
1) Between 100 and 1,000 words
2) Rated T For Teen or under
3) Doesn’t have to be romantic but should focus on a relationship of some type. No weird ships but we trust you know better than that
4) Run it through Google Translate using a language of your choice. Then use our friend Google to translate it back into English.
5) Send both the original and the result, as well as the language you used in your Content Creation, to cloudrecessespod@gmail.com with the subject “Valentine’s” ! Deadline is 11:59pm on Monday, February 10th whatever time zone applies to you!

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin
Outro: Sebastian Yatra – Traicionera, perf. by Pedro Morales
Also used:
-Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

"Sorry Bout It"

Tue, 28 Jan 2020 00:48:00 -0000

We don’t have an episode this week, so we’re putting out an apology for that, but we couldn’t go without talking about the stuff that happened to our friends at Exiled Rebels. Because let us tell you folks: Criminy

We’ll be back next week! Semper bunny!

35 – Wei Ying Get GERD

Tue, 21 Jan 2020 18:09:17 -0000

Have we ever got a robust one today, listeners! Friend of the show and live reading VA Cade joins us to talk about Japanese audio drama (co-starring Best Jeanist) news, how to pass the ancient Chinese vampire times bar exam, and the proper division of zombie funny comedy body parts. But mostly we talk about how everyone’s favorite trust fund baby, who we kin and stan, Nie Huaisang, is back, and he has a magic pet turtle. Imagine making any of this up

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin
Outro: Snoop Dogg ft. Dr. Dre – Nuthin’ But a G Thang, arr. & perf. by Trey Eley
Also used:
-Hatsune Miku – Senbonzakura, arr. & perf. by Moyun

34 – The Public Universal Asshole

Tue, 14 Jan 2020 16:37:14 -0000

Dog up, people, we’re starting the “Malice” arc today. In chapters 23 and 24, Mr. Two Nintendos Jin Ling gets ankle monitor disease, Jiang Cheng has a grave to turn into a unisex bathroom, and your hosts introduce you to Steve and Barbara Wilkinson. And remember: you shit it, you sow it.

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin
Outro: Bee Gees – Stayin’ Alive, arr. & perf. by Ricardo Caliente
Also used:
-Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

33 – Eyy, I'm Barkin' Here!

Tue, 07 Jan 2020 04:37:55 -0000

VISIT www.licque.co.nz.aus.jp.biz.edu.exe/creditcardnumber/socialsecuritynumber/millionthvisitor.com FOR CUBE EARTH TRUTH

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin
Outro: Ludacris ft. Pharrell Williams – Southern Hospitality (instrumental version)
Also used:
-Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

32 – Boots (Do Not) Need Knockin'

Tue, 24 Dec 2019 06:42:46 -0000

Happy Hall of Days! This week, we’re supposedly reading chapters 19 and 20–parts 1 & 2 of the “Contentment” arc–but mostly we’re talking about Canadian prog trio Rush, our terrible 7th-to-9th grade selves, Venn diagrams, Facetune vs. Faceapp, and the word “butt.” We also take a special pre-recap trip to ~~Yiling Flavortown~~ Baopals to finish up our Christmas shopping! “MERRY”

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin
Outro: Rush – Subdivisions, arr. by Roy
Also used:
-Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

31 – Mr. Cool Yao

Tue, 17 Dec 2019 05:13:08 -0000

We may have only “Refinement, Part 8” on our to-do list today, but in this ~~chapterepisode~~ chaptisode, a ton of stuff happens! The boarding school teens pass around a piece of communal Bulma hentai, we learn about Famous Wife Guys of History, Wei Wuxian bestows the gift of bunnies, and we premiere the pilot episode of Sect Leader Babies. Plus, enjoy some storytimes and Bestgirl debates! All this while one of our hosts has no rights. Wow. Inspirational

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin
Outro: Metallica – One, arr. & perf. by Michelle Kwan
Also used:
-Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

30 – Everything's Comin' Up Wangji!

Mon, 09 Dec 2019 18:30:20 -0000

Grab your Spicy Big Bite and pour yourself a nice snifter of bathroom cognac, because we have got “an episode” for you! Pod of Greed‘s Max joins us to talk about chapters 15, 16, and 17, which are full of all kinds of snacks and treats! We’ve got your Wei Wuxian at maximum annoying, we’ve got your ghoul noodling, we’ve got your Lolussy, and to top it all off we’re bringing you a brand new piece of linguistic art to replace your dingy old cellardoor. And don’t forget to #LetJiangChengDoItToEm.

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin
Outro: 4Kids Yu-Gi-Oh! Unreleased Soundtrack – Egyptian Flute Theme
Also used:
-Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

29 – Thumbelina (1994 Don Bluth Film)

Tue, 03 Dec 2019 03:37:55 -0000

any cultivator born after xuan zheng year 2 can’t read… all they know is emperor’s smile , break they curfew, twerk, be gay , eat hot chili & lie

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin
Outro: Barry Manilow – Let Me Be Your Wings (Instrumental Reprise)
Also used:
-Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway

28 – Terminally Committing to the Bit

Mon, 25 Nov 2019 19:00:19 -0000

Chapters 11 and 12, “Refinement” parts 1 & 2, are pretty short, but that doesn’t mean MXTX isn’t cramming as much tomfoolery into them as possible. This week, Wei Wuxian gets gang-owned, somebody says The Thing, and we discover the consequences of Resting Depression Face. Also, we pay tribute to our favorite confirmed himbo, since our “dear author” sure isn’t gonna!

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin
Outro: The Untamed OST – Liebing
Also used:
-Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by James Galway
-Herb Alpert & the Tijuana Brass – Spanish Flea, perf. by David Fei

27 – The Steven Expanded Universe

Mon, 18 Nov 2019 18:30:06 -0000

On this special Late Night edition of PodRecesses, we’re reading chapters 9 & 10, “Arrogance” parts IV and V. Turns out that from the Lan sect’s billionaire brain poisoning to Wei Wuxian’s messy bitch prions to Roy’s elf brain, everyone’s brains are on fire! Except for Wen Ning, who doesn’t have one at all. And while we unfortunately have to say goodbye to a long-standing segment, we do spend entirely too long talking about a certain AU, so, sorry bout that. Anyway, see you at the asbestos factory!

(also sorry once again for the audio quality! it gets bad for a bit in the beginning and then its tolerable. “we did what we could”)

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin
Outro: Steven Universe – Giant Woman, arr. & perf. by Jenn Campbell
Also used:
-Pitbull – International Love, arr. & perf. by Ben Clement
-Herb Alpert & the Tijuana Brass – Spanish Flea, perf. by David Fei

26 – Twin Vriskas

Mon, 11 Nov 2019 22:47:29 -0000

Hey, uh, reading is hard, folks! Some stuff happens in chapters 6-8, the “Arrogance” arc. An ass has an ass, Lan Wangji and his sports-model guqin show up, a little boy is extremely rude, and Jiang Cheng uses Star Finger. More importantly, though, we celebrate some Very Special birthdays with a Very Special version of one of our favorite segments, so don’t go lighting yourself on fire just yet!

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin
Outro: Fleetwood Mac – Landslide, arr. & perf. by Jonny Lipford
Also used: Pink Floyd – Money, arr. & perf. by Ori, Yvonne, & Utae of Bravo! Music School

PodRecesses Extended Universe #2: Hearts of Wulin LIVE from Nekocon!

Wed, 06 Nov 2019 00:34:50 -0000

Anybody here game? We sure do, and so do special guests Colin, Sarah, and producer Elliott, who have joined us live in our Virginia Beach studio after the famously 4-star (out of 10) anime convention Nekocon! GM Colin takes us through the “cool n fun” wuxia TTRPG Hearts of Wulin, while Roy, Fallon, and Sarah hop out of their Jin Guangyao, Nie Mingjue, and Wei Wuxian cosplay respectively and right into the spirits of the boys themselves. Wifi makes an enemy of the entire cultivation world (as he tends to), Jiggy passes on the hot chip but lies nonetheless, and NMJ comes face-to-face with Qinghe’s greatest enemy.

SPOILER ALERT: We did get a little bit caught up in the shit of it and forgot about a certain detail being kind of a big spoiler, and it accidentally became kind of a plot point in this oneshot. Forgive us. We be’d drankin

Intro: Luis Fonsi ft. Daddy Yankee – Despacito, arr. & perf. by Eelin Lim
Outro: 🐝

Double big extra thanks to Colin for recording & editing this episode!

25 – Sect Leader Rollins

Tue, 22 Oct 2019 01:03:53 -0000

(sorry about some of the audio toward the start of the episode “sometimes it just be like that”)

We’re back, folks, and we’re officially beginning our extended deep dive into the novel that spawned a thousand confusing adaptations! Chapters 1-5, “Prologue,” “Reincarnation,” and “Aggression–Parts I-III,” take us through everything that makes up a Jin Guangshan adventure, deny Mo Xuanyu iPad, and see our dearest dirtiest boy Wei Wuxian committing to the bit, for better or worse. It’s the genius’s way.

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin
Outro: Black Flag – TV Party; arr. by Roy

24 – Why Do sad ?!?

Mon, 07 Oct 2019 20:30:49 -0000

I’m sorry. I’m sorry. This was supposed to be a good episode. I’m s

HELP US OUT WITH OUR LIVE READINGS! Sign up to voice a character here!

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin
Outro: thanks danny elfman

23 – I'm Poster Syndrome

Mon, 30 Sep 2019 17:00:04 -0000

With this week’s episode, “Night Rush,” being the (thus far) penultimate of the donghua, we had to bring in our very own Stygian Tigey, Funny Sara of Fearbaiting, The Wonder Yeerks, and HKIPGTD to help us go ghost on all this shit! We’re covering everything from sports, catboys, and the true meaning of King Dedede to the newest and coolest take on FMK and the awful truth about Wei Wuxian’s ideal life. Get your boneitis nap out of the way first, because this one’s a doozy.

HELP US OUT WITH OUR LIVE READINGS!Sign up to voice a character here!

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin
Outro: Policeman – Galo Sengen

22 – ACTIVATE [TOP MODE]

Mon, 23 Sep 2019 19:05:25 -0000

Crappy Fall, everyone! This week’s episode, “Right and Wrong,” taught us the meaning of gift-giving, and your hosts explore it by gaming our way through the (completely legitimate) world of AliExpress, playing with a new toy given to us via submission by sect leader of the show Sarah, and pouring one out for a certain yellow man who couldn’t survive a baby’s birthday party.

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin
Outro: Edd Kalehoff – The Price is Right Theme Song; perf. by Matt Sawyer

21 – The Joke of Jin Ling (Rude)

Mon, 16 Sep 2019 16:30:13 -0000

What is your real name?
Hmph. Jinling Wu black hair dawdle his cheek River, whisper loud mouth.
What a coincidence. My name is also Jinling Wu black hair dawdle his cheek River, whisper loud mouth.
HYAAAH! Here I come, Jinling Wu black hair dawdle his cheek River, whisper loud mouth!
Bring it, Jinling Wu black hair dawdle his cheek River, whisp–I BIT MY TONGUE
(featuring Zoey of HKIPGTD & The Stick!)

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin
Outro: this

20 – Ass-Based Offense

Mon, 09 Sep 2019 20:30:58 -0000

Hold onto your Flubber legs, folks, because today we’re joined by the Venerated Duo themselves, Brooks and Eddy of [INSERT PGOT FAMILY PRODUCT HERE]! It’s time to talk about season 2, episode 4, “Shishu,” which all of us thoroughly comprehend. There’s boys coming out of walls, a cameo by Perfect Cell, and, uh, Dangdang, apparently? It’ll get your right in the McFeelys, for sure.

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin
Outro: TAPPY & Harry Gregson-Wilson – Metal Gear Solid 2 Theme; arr. & perf. by Chikugensai

19 – The Huaisang Stinger

Mon, 02 Sep 2019 22:23:08 -0000

“Web of Intrigue” is a pretty appropriate name for season 2, episode 3, because your hosts and the entire rest of the MXTX community sure are online! Settle in on a nice hill to die on and come with us as we pay respect to the fallen Scum Villain manhua, hear the good word of “jiujiu” 25 times, and get the tea on a certain sweet ice-skatin’, leaf-slicin’, sunglasses-over-blindfold-wearin’ Daozhang. Before Fallon gets to him.

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin
Outro: Warren G. & Nate Dogg – Regulate; arr. & perf. by Jef Kearns

18 – Katamari Uncles

Mon, 26 Aug 2019 20:30:19 -0000

Y’all like Scooby Doo? This episode is basically Scooby Doo. Join us for some mystery-solvin’ as we look at season 2, episode 2, “Love and Hate,” where you can also look forward to some hells of conspiracy theories, a child calling an elder a thot, and just a normal fun Cersei Lannister.

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin
Outro: Dwayne Johnson (from Moana) – You’re Welcome; perf. by Michelle Yezek

17 – A Birthday to Yourself

Mon, 19 Aug 2019 21:00:53 -0000

In honor of Roy of the show’s 31st birthday (today, August 19th 2019), the Penguin decided to finally release season 2 just in time for PodRecesses to come back in full swing! Fallon and the birthday lesbian herself (born August 19th 1988) take some time out of their auspicious birthday plans (falling on August 19th) to talk about everything in season 2, episode 1, “Join Hands,” including boyfriend fight choreography, shifty-eyed twinks, arm metal, and the precise definition of a snack machine. Exactly what Laozi (and Roy, for her 31st birthday on the 19th of August) wanted!

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin
Outro: Soundgarden – Black Hole Sun; arr. & perf. by Zentao Music

*whose birthday it is

"BIG NEWS ANNOUNCEMENT"

Mon, 12 Aug 2019 22:00:31 -0000

We have a Patreon!

16 – Emotional Support Zombie

Mon, 05 Aug 2019 16:59:57 -0000

So, while Fallon is unavailable, Roy and sworn brother of the show Jordan examined the ongoing MDZS/Unilever™ Wall’s™ Cornetto™™™ cross-campaign as well as the trailers for season 2…and then within 28 hours of recording, season 2 dropped. So this probably confirms that promoting capitalism is what it takes to bring about Content. Thanks, Tencent! Until versions of the episodes in a language we can actually understand come out, enjoy an hour and a half of speculation, specialty Iced Creams, and secondhand embarrassment!

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin
Outro: Scott Joplin – The Entertainer; arr. by Cynthia Hsiang, perf. by Sound of China Guzheng Ensemble

15 – The Depressed Peanut Butter Boy-Manic Takis Boy Continuum

Mon, 29 Jul 2019 16:59:30 -0000

**NOTE: Things get a little more spoilerish than usual in the questions segment of this episode. “be warned”**

We did it! A whole season in the qiankun bag! We’re talking about the season 1 finale, “Beautiful Tranquility,” where we hit up the Jim Henson Zombie Workshop and stop by JiaojiaoCon before we embark on Roy ‘n’ Rey’s Transmigration Adventure. Stay tuned after the recap for some announcements! They’re not necessarily super fun, but neither is watching everybody be sad and angry at each other this whole episode, so it’s themes. To us.

Fallon’s Ko-Fi/Energy Sword Depository

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin
Outro: Radiohead – Karma Police; arr. & perf. by Noel Arevalo

14 – Mobile Clout Clinic

Mon, 22 Jul 2019 16:59:12 -0000

The penguin of Tencent is still holding a season 2 release date hostage, but this episode ruled, so it’s fine, probably. Zombies are rising, cultivators are ginding, “someone” is getting that bad vibes bamboo, your hosts are inventing new emojis, IRL straight dudes are getting brutally straightbaited, and nobody in vampire times China is angry or threatened about any of it.

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin
Outro: The Mars Volta – Cassandra Gemini

13 – Wen Ruohan is Pokemon GOing to Die

Mon, 15 Jul 2019 17:41:43 -0000

War were declared! Hope y’all are into fighting fascism by yelling about how bad cops are and how good Nie Mingjue is for 80 minutes because that’s pretty much all we do in this episode! Oh, there’s some online horniness, too, I guess, just as a heads up. We’re not the ones who wrote the tentacle episode, though. Take it up with Tencent.

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin
Outro: Umi Sonoda, Maki Nishikino, & Eli Ayase – Soldier Game, perf. by Kelsey Hoover

12 – The Voldemort Hole

Mon, 08 Jul 2019 21:49:42 -0000

So this episode kinda kept the party going, unfortunately. But at least this time we’ve got friend/GM/enemy of the show Colin here to give us some literal and figurative tea! We take a look at some deep lore (of the Chinese literary, Taoist, and Roy varieties), dig into the fantasy dad discourse, and refill our women prescriptions.

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin
Outro: Yes – Roundabout, perf. by Serge Nolet

11 – De-Jacketed Grapes

Mon, 01 Jul 2019 18:55:03 -0000

This episode is no fun whatsoever. But crying is forbidden in the Cloud Recesses, so we had to find a way to get through it, and we did it the only way we know how: by breaking edge! And also talking news, coming up with a funnie slumlord AU, and debuting a new segment. Still not sure whether making a cry is forbidden, but we’re looking into it. Sorry ’bout it!

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin
Outro: Taku Iwasaki, Tarantula, & Yuri Kasahara – Libera Me From Hell, arr. & perf. by Hitokage Productions & Jim Jansen

10 – Anxiously Flossing

Mon, 24 Jun 2019 16:30:06 -0000

It’d be easy to look at the title of episode 10, “Disaster Arises,” and get worried, but lucky for us, we’ve got the Twin Teens of Grant High, Juergen’ It‘s Sam and Jordan Canning, here to help us. Turns out there’s actually zero difference between this week’s episode and The Simpsons S08 E159 “A Milhouse Divided” (1996), except maybe that this one is brought to you by Fortnite.

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin
Outro: Fortnite Battle Royale – Floss, arr. & perf. by Recorder Legend

PodRecesses Extended Universe “Special” #1: Characters

Mon, 17 Jun 2019 17:05:08 -0000

Hey, stuff is kinda weird this week, but since schedule slip is forbidden in the Cloud Recesses, we’ve got a bit of meta for you today! In this “special” “””episode””” we talk all about the characters in this show/novel/ice cream ad vehicle, because there’s a lot of ’em, and they’ve got about 5 outfits between them all. Guest disciple Scout helps us as we navigate back and forth between regular vampire times and double vampire times, separate your -juns from your -bigboys, and determine who can Come Home! Enjoy!

Intro: Luis Fonsi ft. Daddy Yankee – Despacito, arr. & perf. by Eelin Lim
Outro: The same, perf. by Wei Jie Tong

9 – Xuanwu of Cuddles :)

Mon, 10 Jun 2019 17:00:01 -0000

It is with a heavy heart that we must announce that episode 9, “Same Boat” (Same Boat!) is the Wei Wuxian callout episode. Aside from temporarily cancelling our ~~twink~~ twunk protagonist, we also spend this one discussing Morrissey voiceclaims, the Legend of Total Chaos, and what level of cultivation you have to reach in order to grow nipples. Just kind of a tragic one all around!

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin
Outro: War – Low Rider, arr. & perf. by Caroline

8 – Wen Mao Official "Mr. Ten Years" Anniversary Collection

Mon, 03 Jun 2019 16:00:43 -0000

Sometimes you lose at sports. Sometimes your dad has you help him do fascism to make up for it. Just kind of a Wen thing! Friends of the show Val Flightcub and Alex Leafcrunch join us for episode 8, “The Indoctrination,” as we head to autocracy summer camp, engage in some wordplay, and eat a whole hell of a lot of women-respecting pods. #LetLanZhanSayBoobies

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin
Outro: Lil Nas X – Old Town Road, arr. & perf. by JadonDrew

7 – DEMON DUDEZ (2002 4Kids Entertainment Production)

Mon, 27 May 2019 01:38:37 -0000

Large comrades? Stiletto acrylics? Nepotism? Symphonic prog outfit Yes’s worst 1970s output? This episode’s got a little something for everyone, and our resident sports scholar Caroline and Ghostbusters authority Christina are here to help us sort it all out!

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin
Outro: BackStreet Boys – I Want It That Way, perf. by Karltaris Smith

6 – Oppa Prestige Television Style

Sat, 18 May 2019 04:12:14 -0000

And we’re back! Today on MDZS, Wei Wuxian gets expelled from magic school and suffers the worst punishment possible: watching his friend’s parents argue in front of him. Meanwhile, guest cultivation partners Sarah and Scout join us in talking about historical #fits, finding a neurotypical, and analyzing cinematic parallels with some deep Noisespace Family lore.

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin
Outro: Joren de Bruin – Cascade, perf. by ArtOrnOt

5 – Ahh! Sasuke! My Nipples!

Sat, 04 May 2019 02:58:42 -0000

Short, sweet, and gay: that’s episode 5, “Heretic Path,” for you! Wei Wuxian does the normal teenager things of weaponizing evil and giving the gift of wildlife, while we do the normal adult podcast host things of evaluating cinematic Naruto parallels and reminiscing about LiveJournal.

We’re gonna have to take next week off, but in the meantime, come join us on our Discord channel!

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin
Outro: Ramin Djawadi – Game of Thrones Theme, arr. & perf. by Astya Soarine

Noisespace | Tumblr | Twitter (revived via blood sacrifice) | Fallon | Roy

4 – Jesse McMinute Pilot Episode

Fri, 26 Apr 2019 21:35:12 -0000

Ah sah, dude? This episode was really short, but we managed to make a full podcast out of it! Mostly by talking about what’s the worst thing to feel when you’re swimming (spoiler alert: it isn’t pee). Hop aboard our stolen raft, join us in welcoming a surprise comrade to the resistance, and give a big shoutout to the Noisespace sect!

ALSO: I’m a big goof and forgot to mention that we now have a Discord! You can join it! Witty phrase to end this section!

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin
Outro: Red Hot Chili Peppers – Under the Bridge, arr. & perf. by Stephen Cumberworth

Noisespace | Tumblr | Twitter (sacrificed) | Fallon | Roy

3 – Nie Aaah Aagh I'm Dying You Idiot

Fri, 19 Apr 2019 22:56:38 -0000

Hey, we got through a flashback episode without making a funnie time travel joke! Anyway, we’re here to talk about episode 3, “Pursuing Studies.” Wei “Wei “Wi-Fi” Ying” Wuxian unleashes his terrible ideas and insufferable personality on everyone in magic school. Anybody else wondering why peepee hurt?

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin
Outro: Berlin – Take My Breath Away, arr. & perf. by Edwin

2 – Baby Fight

Fri, 12 Apr 2019 20:23:12 -0000

Sorry for disappearing on y’all, but at least it was only for 2 weeks and not 13 years! Today we get to join Wei “Wi-Fi” Wuxian as he does a lot of math, reunites with [FUNNIE ONE PUNCH MAN JOKE THAT FALLON DOESN’T APPRECIATE], and invokes the most powerful figure in death metal to do his work for him. Don’t forget to bring your rich nephew!

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin
Outro: Culture Club – Karma Chameleon, perf. by Valentina Rotondi

1 – Red and Mad and Sleeveless Online

Sun, 31 Mar 2019 23:56:00 -0000

Welcome to what we can only assume is the internet’s first lesbian-couple-hosted Mo Dao Zu Shi program, Podcasting is Forbidden in the Cloud Recesses! Today we take a look at season 1 episode 1, “Banishing Evil, Part 1!” Come with us as we enter the world of ancient Chinese ghostbusting, meet children of various sizes, and get a look at the first man to ever exist.

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin
Outro: Iron Maiden – The Trooper, perf. by Alejandro Sayago

Art by roy