Henry Kissinger Is Pokemon Going To Die

S2E1 – We've Been Gaming

Sat, 07 Jun 2025 20:36:02 -0000

People have been clamoring for leftist Joes Rogan, and here come three of us when we're needed most to absolutely not talk about politics or current events. Love it or hate it, gaming is here to stay, and that means that HKIPGTD has finally become what it was always destined to be: a discussion of video games in a universe where Henry Kissinger is dead. Let's all smile together as we consider some things that we like for a change, with only a small digression about Dan Harmon's NFT sitcom.

Featuring: Sam, Rook, and Elizabeth

Intro: Toby Fox - It's Showtime! Outro: Toby Fox - Lancer

Noise Space | Discord

S1E114 – Season 1 Finale

Thu, 14 Dec 2023 05:05:00 -0000

Oh, hey! Are you still here? Well, he died. Let's chat about that plus Elon Musk's X Premium+ Grok AI gone woke and whatever the Garfield Eats guy is up to these days. This is our victory lap. We all outlived him! Be happy for us, and be happy for yourself! Join our Discord. Bye for now! We'll be back if he dies again.

Featuring: Sara, Jo, Roy, and Sam

Intro: The Taxpayers - Evil Men Outro: Sam playing Ode to Joy on virtualpiano.net

Noise Space | Twitter

S1E113 – An Ode...

Thu, 30 Nov 2023 02:58:01 -0000

SATAN is👹⚔️ workin overtime 💪💪to make a new level of hell 🪚⚒🪚cause 🎉🎉💀HENRY PISSinger☠️ has FINALLY FUCKIN DIED🪦🪦🎉🎉!! u may know this proPIGandist🐽🐽 by his greatest hits: BOMBINGS 💣, GENOCIDES 👎😡😢, MILITARY💂 COUPS💥, and other 🚔🚔CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY🏴‍☠️!! but DID U KNOW 🧠❓he was also someone hillary clinton 👵🏻 considered a close personal friend😘👯‍♀️🆒!! he devoted his life to DICKlaring 🍆🍆war 🚫AGAINST 🚫 the CUMMIES💦💂💦 and other unCUNTstitutional 🍑🦪🦪🍑things and ppl called him a hero🤔🤷😡👎‼️⁉️ today we pour one out 🍻 🥂🍾 for one of the WORST PEOPLE🤢👿🤢 to ever do it‼️ so SPREAD ↔️THOSE LEGS 💃💃 like ur the freedom 🗽🗽of infWHOREmation 📚📜📚act && send this to 2️⃣1️⃣ people u want to give u their TRICKY DICK 👁👅👁. GET5️⃣ BACK, you’ll give someone a déTENTe ⛺️🪵 IN THEIR PANTS get 🔟 back and you’ll be getting realpoliDICKED 🤤🤤🍆🍆DOWN with that MISSILE TREATY😏🚀🚀😏 tonight‼️

Noise Space | Twitter

S1E112 – Flora and Fauna Fanclub

Sat, 19 Jun 2021 16:26:46 -0000

Hey, cool kids!

After a uhhhh 90 day retreat into the danger zone, HKIP is back to deliver our wacky verbal crimes via the power of RSS (real silly shit). Join Sara, Val, and John in the Flora and Fauna Fanclub (also, we talk about things)!

Topics this week: Joe Biden: trans ally? (no) Anti-trans bills What is pipehitting? Independence Day Justin Trudeau Retire Bitch Best in Show Winner Wasabi (cryptid) Flora and Fauna

Lightbringers: Re:Zero DIY Crafts Post 10

Featuring: Sara, Val, and John who also edited.

Intro: The Taxpayers - Evil Men Outro: Kamala Harris - Don't Cum (sic) Secret Outro: Eugene Levy and Catherine O'Hara - Terrier Things

Noise Space | Twitter

S1E111 – Miami Heated Gamer Moment

Sat, 13 Mar 2021 21:52:00 -0000

We're baaack! Sara, John and Val shake off the rust to discuss our new President, Joe Biding His Time, aka Joe Bidet-n, and whatever the hell a Parliamentarian is. Other topics include New York politician scandals, land defenders, Mr.s Foot and Boot, and an athlete's oopsie (extremely offensive) stream word. Warnings, we discuss bidets and ...their function... in the beginning of the episode, which only gets a little bit graphic.

Featuring: Sara, John, and Val who also edited.

Supplemental links:

Intro: The Taxpayers - Evil Men Outro: Unknown P - Piers Morgan

Noise Space | Twitter

S1E110 – Nintendonald 64

Mon, 08 Feb 2021 01:30:00 -0000

Well, it actually happened. President Wario has been forced to retire, both from the presidency and from posting. In honor of our least favorite game show host/pile of rancid old yogurt in a suit, we've compiled a list of 64 of his most iconic, bewildering, "jesus christ this guy was really the president, huh" moments and created a bracket. What will be the defining moment of the Trump era? When the dust settles, what will be Donald Trump's ultimate legacy? Let's find out together!

Featuring: Sara, Sam, Val, John, elizabeth leafcrunch, and Roy.

Edited by Sam.

Intro: Wario Land 3 - Title Outro: Wario Land 3 - Credits

Noise Space | Twitter

S1E109 – A Bullet Journal For Your Anime

Thu, 31 Dec 2020 06:08:21 -0000

We did it! We successfully posted our way through 2020. Thank you for sticking through it with us. On this episode, Sara, Alex Leafcrunch, and John talk about holding the defense budget hostage for $2,000 ransom, Pretendians, Daddy Doug Ford, #carp, and 2020 in general! Sorry!

Featuring: Sara, alex leafcrunch, and John.

Edited by John.

Intro: The Taxpayers - Evil Men Outro: Daft Punk - Doin' it Right Synth Cover & Daft Punk - doin it right [HHHgreg remix]

Noise Space | Twitter

S1E108 – Weed Sports Resort

Fri, 13 Nov 2020 02:19:35 -0000

Well, the election happened I guess! Matt, Sara and Val talk about that for a bit before John heard us talking about Indigenous issues without him and joined us for an update on the Mi'kmaq lobster fisheries. Also Canada's stupidest culture war is back with a vengeance!

Featuring: Matt, Sara, Val and special guest John.

Edited by Matt.

Intro: The Taxpayers - Evil Men Outro: Gabe Gundacker - Wii Volleyball

S1E107 – Dimply Put

Sun, 18 Oct 2020 03:55:00 -0000

"Oops! (Almost) All Lightbringers!" This week, Val and alex talk about politics and news, for a little while. Topics include the American vice presidential debates, and the funny American president having the virus. Then, for the majority of the episode, they talk about things that have been making them feel happy.

Intro: The Taxpayers - Evil Men Outro: Over The Garden Wall - Adelaide Parade

S1E106 – Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good McDonald's

Tue, 22 Sep 2020 21:19:18 -0000

Bit of a bummer one this week, folks! Val and Sara are here to talk a lot about RBG's tragic death at the hooves (and horns) of a rampaging bull and the politicking that has followed the opening up of her seat on the supreme court. We also take a bit of time to discuss the literal actual genocide happening at the hands of ICE and settlers trying to brute force Mi'kmaq fishers out of their extremely legal fishing grounds. But on the bright side: the GarfieldEats guy is making a Quibi about GarfieldEats! And also, they want to sell Quibi (real).

If you'd like to help out the Mi'kmaq Treaty Fishery, please head here!

Hosted by Sara (who also edited!) and Val.

Music Used: The Taxpayers - Evil Men Tracy Chapman - Fast Car

S1E105 – Shrek's Dick Candle [POTENTIAL DISINFORMATION]

Sun, 06 Sep 2020 02:50:00 -0000

Matt and Sara discuss the very truthful subjects of windmilling a pissballoon off your dick to own cops, salon entrapment, Pig Poop Balls, the Biden campaign shrinking into a corncob, and Joe Kennedy III making car crash history, which his family loves to do. They also discuss more serious topics like what's happening in Rochester NY right now, but let's be honest, we had you at "windmilling a pissballoon."

Edited by Val, who also thinks Joe Kennedy III sucks.

Intro Music is Evil Men by the Taxpayers Outro Music is a bit cursed but based of a Weezer song, censored by Val

Dig Doug Your Own Grave Fordnite

Sat, 22 Aug 2020 22:59:00 -0000

In a special bonus episode, Sara and alex are joined by friend of the show John for a deep dive into the conflict between Haudenosaunee land defenders and Ontario land developers at Six Nations of the Grand River Reserve, as well as the centuries of historical events that provide context. If that sounds way too serious for HKIPGTD, don’t worry! It’s still got jokes in it!! Look at the title!!!

(Note: alex says in the episode that she's going to throw it up on the patreon feed, but decided to put it in the main feed as a bonus episode to get it out to everyone! She apologizes to all the comrades and conrads for their names not being in the episode, but points out that there's nothing in the rules that say a dog can't play bonus episode.)

For your visual reference: The Haldimand Tract

For your homework: Alanis Obomsawin - Trick or Treaty?

To donate to the legal defense fund: Paypal or etransfer to landback6nations@gmail.com

Hosted by Sara and alex

And a special thanks to John for coming on the podcast!

Music Used

The Taxpayers - Evil Men

Wounded Knee - Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee

S1E104 – A Period of Extreme Problem

Mon, 17 Aug 2020 16:45:02 -0000

Hello fellow Democrats! Welcome back to HKIPGTD where we're definitely excited for the DNC!! Caroline gives an update on the big beautiful boat rallies of Portland, Sara talks the mail which no one is talking about at all, why is no one talking about the mail? Meanwhile the only Canada story Matt can summon is about a cigar-smoking sock puppet. No like, a literal sock. It's very stupid. Anyway, the Joe Biden song? I'm just going to retweet it instead of putting it in the episode. Also it's not a threat.

Featuring Sara, Caroline and Matt. Edited by Matt.

Music used:

The Taxpayers - Evil Men
Roblox Bee Swarm Simulator - Stick Bug Challenge
One of many Ben Shapiro WAP remixes

Also check out Caroline's list of Twitters to follow on Portland.

S1E103 – Bernie Bros. 2: Markey Marks (Funky Bunch)

Fri, 31 Jul 2020 00:15:00 -0000

Many will tell you Roy is finally back on HKIPGTD! She and Sara are here to discuss the overwhelming everything of it all. Topics include passing the joink over Zoom, giving Joe Kennedy III the ol’ spinorama, the funniest way to have your First Amendment rights denied, and a journey through a very website website.

Featuring Roy and Sara Edited by alex leafcrunch

Music used: The Taxpayers - Evil Men Yasuaki Iwata - Visitor Arrival

S1E102 – UCP On Margaret Thatcher's Grave

Tue, 14 Jul 2020 20:32:00 -0000

What the fuck is up, gamers! Today, Val Matt and alex discuss the supreme court, reopening schools, the Liberal Party of Canada, and other extremely fun, relatable topics! No Brasilian presidents were harmed in the filming of this podcast.

Due to some technical issues, Val’s audio is rough but improves around 13 minutes in. Apologies for that!

Hosts: matt gamecube, val flightcub, alex leafcrunch (who also edited)

Music used:

The Taxpayers - Evil Men
Gary Jules - Mad World
Koji Kondo - Super Mario Bros. 2 Overworld Theme

S1E101 – Instead of Beef Patties There Was Two Ninja Stars

Fri, 26 Jun 2020 20:41:58 -0000

We're back! After about a month away, Matt and Sara reconvene to talk a little bit about the protests (they're good), the cops (they're bastards), and the McChicken-style projectiles that the police have been assaulted by (they're tasty!). We also talk about Matt Gaetz's very real adult son, one of the most provably wrong right-wing adages, and a potpourri of internet news! Struggle well, human. Full Metal Statue!

Find links to support the Black Lives Matter at https://blacklivesmatter.carrd.co/

Hosts: Matt and Sara, who also edited

Music used Evil Men - The Taxpayers Naruto Main Theme - Toshio Masuda

S1E100 – Funny Guy Family Moments

Sun, 24 May 2020 20:36:06 -0000

What if Batman had cilantro instead of a superiority complex? alex and Val talk about a lot of other issues before we get to this question, like Joe Biden and Garfield Eats, but those are less important.

Hosts: alex leafcrunch and Val flightcub who edited

Music used: Evil Men – The Taxpayers
Batman Theme – Neal Hefti

S1E99 – Hashtag Silvercorp, Again

Sun, 10 May 2020 04:23:55 -0000

Matt, Val, and Sara continue to have a very normal and regular one this episode. They discuss J*cob W*hl, the Supreme Court, the virus, and #regimechange #tactics #crossfit. There's also a healthy dose of tangents, and some Marge Simpson voice thrown in at the end.

Music used:
Evil Men – The Taxpayers
Ladies – Fiona Apple

Edited by Val

S1E98 – Our First Milky President

Wed, 29 Apr 2020 00:57:26 -0000

Avengers who? Say hello to the most ambitious crossover event in history as Ciarán from Corner Spaeti comes on to give us all the info we need about last week's Labour leaks, and we commiserate over the universal experience of moderates sabotaging the progressive wing of our country's party. We also talk about the political alignments of the Mushroom Kingdom denizens, Sean Bean's nomenclature origins, and O.J. Simpson!

Ciarán can be found on Twitter at @CiaranDold and on Corner Spaeti, which can be found at operationglad.io!

Featuring: Sara, Matt, ScotMatt, alex
Also edited by Sara

Music used:
Evil Men – The Taxpayers
Demi Adejuyigbe – Rejected Lyrics to HBO's Succession Theme

S1E97 – The Bad Yogi Bear Impression That I Get

Mon, 13 Apr 2020 00:13:37 -0000

Val and Sara discuss healthcare, electoral politics, the virus, and the effects of each on the others. Plus ska, Yogi Bear, what a son debate might sound like, and Sara's presidential bid as America's first ever business-lady President.

Nicknames this week come from this article, a Medium op-ed (not an article from The Onion as stated in the episode)

Music used:
The Impression That I Get – The Mighty Mighty Bosstones
Evil Men – The Taxpayers

Edited by Val

S1E96 – The Entire Country Would Become The Damn Joker

Tue, 31 Mar 2020 03:01:22 -0000

Folks, we may be stuck at Pokémon HOME for the foreseeable future but you can't deny that soon we'll be Pokémon Laughing All The Way To The Polls! Join Sara, Val, Matt and the triumphantly returning Caroline for a definitely not pre-recorded livestream because they have all definitely still been alive for the past week. The celebs are at it again, animal crossing stonks are the only ones that matter anymore, and most importantly we reveal the official ice cream of the show. Also they talk about Joe Stories and him being dead a lot but they never say "Joe"st Stories so this is just me punching it up in post. Enjoy!

Featuring: Caroline, Matt, Sara, Val
Edited by alex

Music used:
The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Johnny Marks – Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer

Cats (2019)

Sun, 29 Mar 2020 03:13:56 -0000

In this very special episode, Henry Kissinger is Pokemon Going to The Movies! Our discord streamed Cats (2019), and we just had to record an episode about it. Sam, Sara, Matt, and Val have a lot to discuss, and a lot to learn about cats- are they dogs? Tune in to find out!

Edited by Val.

S1E95 – Making the Money Sad

Sun, 15 Mar 2020 23:19:31 -0000

Social distancing can't stop us from podcasting, baby! Sara and Matt are here this week to learn about what good polls are like, relish the death of the original Bitcoin, and talk about some comforting anime in this trying time!

Hosted by Sara and Matt
Edited by Sara!

Music used:
The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Jeff Rosenstock – You, In Weird Cities

S1E94 – DNC, The Ball's In Your Court, And It's Time To Play H.O.R.S.E.

Mon, 09 Mar 2020 14:41:40 -0000

Can we get some Fs in the chat for the bevy of presidential hopefuls who suspended their campaigns last week? Can we ask ourselves which other adjectives can be used to describe a Tuesday? Can we abolish a country that's really just three mining companies in a trenchcoat? We'll take your lack of response as a yes.

Hosted by Val, Matt, alex
Edited by alex also

Music used:
The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Panic! At The Disco – High Hopes

S1E93 – Our Date With Sonic

Tue, 25 Feb 2020 04:10:07 -0000

In this week's snackable episode, Sara and Val discuss: Mike Bloombefg, Bernard Sanders, the ongoing Wet'suwet'en protests, twitter, and why Sonic the hedgehog has a micropenis. They kick off the episode with that last one, actually.

Hosted by Val and Sara
Edited by Val

Music Used:
Evil Men – The Taxpayers
Hall of Mirrors – Capercaillie (aka our very own ScotMatt! )

S1E92 – TreeWrap% Tesla Speed Run

Mon, 10 Feb 2020 07:38:28 -0000

Hey folks! It turns out you didn't subscribe to the full version of HENRY KISSINGER IS POKEMON GOING TO DIE so we have remotely deleted your phone's contents, courtesy of Tesla!

Main topics this week include the Iowa Caucus and subsequent debate (🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀 #RatMode #BuyingGuide #LatestHoverboards #Swegway #SaturdayMorningVibes) and Canada perpetuating significant colonial violence in support of fossil capital. We love it! Relevant links shared on the Twitter but please follow @ricochet_en for updates on this one.

Hosted by Sara, Matt (who edited), and Val.

Music used:
The Taxpayers – Evil Men
chelmico – Easy Breezy

Editing note: Matt showed up late, Sara had to dip out early, they weren't just being weirdly quiet as that would be very unusual for both of us.

S1E91 – I Am Once Again Asking You To Click Like

Sun, 02 Feb 2020 23:17:10 -0000

What ghostly horde do i see cresting over yonder hill? It’s a four-person episode of Henry Kissinger is Pokémon GOing to Die! Well, at least for part of it. Who’s peach? Where’s Saskatchewan? Is Spain okay? Find out the answers to these questions and more by tuning in now!

For your viewing pleasure, the normal image of the president discussed around the 48:30 minute mark

Hosted by Sara, Matt, Matt, and Val
Edited by alex

Music used:
The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Stormzy – Still Disappointed

S1E90 – The Day Detroit Became Human

Mon, 27 Jan 2020 07:01:18 -0000

This week, Zoey hosts a fun round of The Price is Wrong with Val and Sara. Come along with us as we learn all about the hidden world of historical(?) fiction on Am*zon! Our hosts also discuss Jeff Bezos, impeach time, people who do and don't like Bernie Sanders, and Pete B's own "please clap" moment.

Hosted by Zoey, Sara, and Val who edited also

Music used:
Evil Men – The Taxpayers
Jeb Bush “Please Clap” Ringtone – spkheller

S1E89 – Dinero Targaryen

Wed, 22 Jan 2020 04:44:27 -0000

Live from a toilet at the bottom of a well! It's alex leafcrunch! Val is also here but they sound normal. Imagine they're sitting on the sill of the well and keeping her company so she doesn't feel so alone down there. It's just like that one episode of the Simpsons. The dynamic two-o give you the lowdown on your soon-to-be-favourite sovereign songwriter city-state, your already-favourite presidential paper purveyor Parnas, your anti-favourite car clasping clam contraption, and more. We also solve Game of Thrones (the answer is Dinero Targaryen). Just goes to show, there's lots of time for solving life's little mysteries when you're at the bottom of a well, inside of a toilet.

Hosted by val and alex and edited by the latter!

Music used:
The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Tay Zonday – Mama Economy
David Guetta ft. Akon – Sexy Chick (Radio Edit)

S1E88 – Some Macklemore News

Tue, 14 Jan 2020 03:50:09 -0000

Rejoice, listeners, your long national nightmare is over! Henry Kissinger is Pokemon GOing to Die returns to the fray after taking a month to rest off the burnout. We return with a slightly tweaked format, but don't worry, someone says "Peepee Poopoo Johnson" at some point and Sara talks about Nancy Pelosi doing orange justice so not that much has changed. In addition, Roy ponders what Bitch McTurtle is up to, Matt Gamecube considers the dearth of actual left-wing media, and Sam saunters back into the podcast for a little round of the ol' Movieball!

Music used:
The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Rush – Closer to the Heart

Hosts are Matt (Gamecube), Roy, Sam, and Sara (who also edited!)

Foresight is 2020

Sat, 11 Jan 2020 23:00:04 -0000

Happy New Year, gamers! Roy, Zoey, Sara, Caroline, Matt, Alex, Matt, alex, and Val give their predictions for the year 2020, and recount their lightbringers of 2019. Is this the year that Mr.H.K. is P.G.T.D.? This and other questions are answered from our very own prognosticators. Reflect on the past year and look forward to our future together with (some of) the hosts of HKIPGTD!

Featuring: Roy, Zoey, Sara, Caroline, Matt, Alex, Matt, alex, and Val

Edited by Val

S1E87 – The Peach Mint Podcast

Wed, 27 Nov 2019 00:02:39 -0000

🍑🌱?!? Val and the Matts of Gamecube and Scotland discuss Elon's cybertruck, the CN strike, the British leader debates, and the therapeutic effect of eating one (1) ice cream. If only Joe Biden would listen to their advice! It's not too late to just eat an ice cream instead, Joe.

Also an announcement: HKIPGTD is going on break for the month of December! Due to the complications of scheduling in the holiday season and some host burnout, we decided it would be best to take a break from regular episodes for the month and then start fresh for the new year. Some bonus content may still make it down the pipes, and will be in your feed if it does! Semper funny!

Music used:

Evil Men – The Taxpayers

OCDJ – Guess What!

Hosts are Matt and Matt and Val, who also edited

S1E86 – Famous Hockey Racist

Fri, 15 Nov 2019 17:00:34 -0000

Matt and Sara take you on a gaming adventure before going way over their heads trying to talk about Bolivia. Also, we weigh the idea of respecting the troops during hockey and also at Panera Bread.

Featuring: Sara and Matt, who also edited.

Music used:
The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Depeche Mode – Personal Jesus [Dogshit Big Structural Bailey Edit By Matt]

S1E85 – T Pose For The Troops

Sun, 10 Nov 2019 04:43:19 -0000

This week we've got kind of a Zoey and Roy one! The Royal Canadian Legion invites us all to have a solemn gaming moment and Zoey does some Amazon shopping for some good products. Fallon also stops by to talk about everyone's least favourite voice actor.

And remember, Morrissey is Pond Scum!

Featuring: Zoey and Roy
Edited by Matt

Music used:
The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Foo Fighters – Miracle
JPEGMAFIA – I Cannot Fucking Wait Until Morrissey Dies

S1E84 – Oof, Just Heard About Cancel Culture. Softblocking Obama Now 😬

Sun, 03 Nov 2019 17:00:41 -0000

This week, Sara and Matt (Not GameCube) discuss who's peach, who's putting cool racing stripes on their oil pipelines, whose hometown eats a recordbreaking amount of domino's pizza, and more! A veritable who's who of an episode. Snap election time, baybee!!!!

Featuring: Sara and Matt
Edited by alex leafcrunch

Music used:
The Taxpayers – Evil Men
OG Maco – Twelve Bricks

S1E83 – Who Drink Laura Cooper?

Wed, 30 Oct 2019 22:22:04 -0000

This episode is jam-packed. Val and alex discuss, among other things: the fallout of the Canadian election, Republicans on their various celled phones, a Twin Peaks/Riverdale crossover, AOC vs. Mark Shmuckerberg, matryoshka hitmen, trees, and Tay Zonday's newest single, Mama Economy.

Music used:
Evil Men – The Taxpayers
Train – Danny Gonzalez
Mama Economy – Tay Zonday

The Northern Ireland Conundrum

Tue, 29 Oct 2019 18:35:19 -0000

Originally intended as a short segment on this week's episode, Matt's discussion with friend of the show Sarah ran long enough to release on its own. Sarah helps give us a simple primer on the history of a divided Ireland and just how badly Boris Johnson is fucking everything right up.

S1E82 – Ellen the Generosity

Tue, 22 Oct 2019 14:00:30 -0000

This one's a whole lotta episode! Val and Sara squeeze in topics from last week while also talking about dem debates, Ellen the Generous's choice in friends, The Blob, and some normal guys doing normal things like writing letters and ignoring subpoenas. We get to the bottom of what PG&E stands for, and what should be done about transgender kids who have to pee. Spoiler alert for that second one: it's letting them be kids!
Make sure to listen all the way to the end for a funny cheese.

Hosted by Sara and Val (making their debut as editor).

Music used: The Taxpayers – Evil Men

The Canadian Federal Hellection

Sun, 20 Oct 2019 06:06:10 -0000

Hello friends and well-wishers, today we have two of the Canadian hosts of our fair pod to help explain the Canadian political system with help from our friends Bean (from The Island Shuffle) and Emma (who joined us for our Ontario Election special last year). We go over the political parties (all six of them!), the parliamentary system and talk about why chasing the centre is a waste of time. We also talk about polls a lot. Hooray, polls!

Of note: Zoey's audio file had some connection issues, which were most prominent around 16 min and 24 min. There wasn't much we could do about it so we just edited around it.

Our primary sources of polling data and electoral metrics were 338Canada and CBC’s Poll Tracker.

Music used:
The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Big Sugar – O Canada

S1E81 – Golf: The Corruption Game

Sat, 05 Oct 2019 01:30:23 -0000

Canada's elections, presidential normal ones, ~~cars~~, and thoughtcrime advertisements are all brought to you by the letter Q!

Hosted by Matt and Val
Edited by Roy

Music used:
The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Nickelback – Photograph (Pokemon GBA Soundfont Remix by Roy)

S1E80 – No To BoJo

Sun, 29 Sep 2019 13:16:17 -0000

Sara makes her triumphant return to HKIPGTD and regains her platinum "cohost with every host" trophy. Matt (Scottish) gives us the LoDo on BoJo. The Canadian election continues to happen and I appreciate the non-American hosts talking about it at all!

Hosted by Sara and Matt
Edited by alex leafcrunch

Music used: The Taxpayers – Evil Men

S1E79 – The Real Story Is Also That

Thu, 19 Sep 2019 22:02:16 -0000

Apologies for the confusion, the first version of this episode had some severe audio issues, so we took it down to re-edit. This is the final, fixed version, including 7 minutes and 29 seconds of content that was previously unusable.

Little bit of an easy-listening episode this week, as we gather round to talk about other podcasts and try to remember which countries we're all actually from. Topics this week include: Trudeau's brownface uh-ohs, the bad state of political reporting, the worsening tension in US-Saudi-Iranian-Yemeni relations, and worst of all: more mueller report shit. We also talk about the ongoing UAW strike, updates on the straight-pride protestors, and some loser getting banned from FurFest

Hosted by Matt, Sam, and Val.
Edited badly and then re-edited goodly by Patrick.

Music used:
The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Pete Seeger – Which Side Are You On?

S1E78 – The Whip is Involved

Mon, 09 Sep 2019 00:30:31 -0000

One of the greats has left us. We gather here today to discuss the falling of a titan, the passing of one of the last few old souls left in the world. We speak, of course, of Jeremy Renner The App. It'll live forever in our hearts. In addition to that post-mortem, Matt Gamecube talks about some stupidity in Canadian politics, Val gives us the rundown on the gross shit that happened at the Proud Boys's Straight Pride parade in Boston, and then Matt takes on the unenviable task of trying to explain what the fuck happened in UK politics this week.

Hosted by Val, Matt Gamecube, and Matt (not Gamecube)!
Edited by Sara

Music used:
The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Toby Fox – Megalovania (Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Remix)

S1E77 – Could Be Big Joe

Sun, 01 Sep 2019 13:36:57 -0000

Our usual British correspondent Alex was busy so we brought on a very special and very Scottish guest to fill us in on all the latest from across the pond. What is proroguing? Can you cook it in a skillet? Will the Matts be forced into unarmed combat to establish dominance, or will they do what the Alexes did and just sort themselves by capitalization preference? Will Val download Jeremy Renner, the Jeremy Renner app? Listen to find out the answers to some of those things, and more!

Hosted by Val and featuring Matt (not GameCube)
Edited by alex leafcrunch

Music used:
The Taxpayers – Evil Men
The 1975 – Somebody Else

S1E76 – Canada: Become Gay

Sat, 24 Aug 2019 23:22:52 -0000

Batten down the hatches, everyone – Matt got a soundboard. Amidst all the clips blasted out of his computer, alex leafcrunch and Val break down Bernie's Laborpalooza plan, Matt bargains for Greenland, alex falls down some stairs and experiences a heated podcasting moment, Tangerine Lemon proves the haters wrong, and Brooks gets softblocked. And also, Jair Bolsonaro is burning the Amazon rainforest.

Featuring: alex, Matt, and Val
Edited by Sara

Music used:
Evil Men – The Taxpayers
Dieter Reith – Flying Dragon

S1E75 – My Friend, Racist

Sun, 18 Aug 2019 00:59:35 -0000

It's a doozy this week folks! Caroline and Alex dive deep into a discussion of the completely normal circumstances of Epstein's death, as well as some details about his life. So, content warning for discussion of child sexual assault and trafficking throughout. There are lighter topics though! Topics like the president yelling at the tv! Topics like the British government's anti-knife crime advertisements! You'll never guess where they put them unracistly. Tune in to find out, and don't forget to leave an acorn on your windowsill for your neighbour Racist [editor's note: i forgot the plot of my neighbour totoro so that last one's just a guess]

Featuring: Alex and Caroline
Edited by alex

Music used:
Evil Men – The Taxpayers
Give Us A Mystery – Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen

S1E74 – Replace Every Cop With A Bus Stop

Sun, 04 Aug 2019 19:42:50 -0000

Folks! It's Democratic Debates…. 2!

Matt watched them and tried to explain them to Val and alex leafcrunch, who did not, and a bad time was had by all. We also discuss nationalized health care and transit from a Canadian perspective, online accessibility and brainstorm which biblical plague is coming for us next.

All relevant links have been put on our Twitter this week, except for the article about Centralia, PA, which can be found here.

Featuring: Val, alex leafcrunch, Matt (who edited)

Music used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men

KNOWER – The Government Knows

S1E73 – Robert Mueller's Rat Meat Exoskeleton

Mon, 29 Jul 2019 03:05:32 -0000

Democracy dies in darkness, folks, if you're not using your money to fund Washington Post comparing Robert Mueller to Pickle Rick. Eden and Sara do their best to give them some freebies, as well as some follow-up gamer moments and the return of everyone's favourite federal judiciary power: Execution!

Featuring Sara and Eden. Edited by Matt.

Music used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men
ずっと真夜中でいいのに。 – 『正義』
Orville Peck – Turn to Hate
CollegeHumor – Mitt Romney Style (Gangnam Style Parody)

S1E72 – Down With The Clown

Fri, 19 Jul 2019 21:09:19 -0000

HKIPGTD would like to welcome our newest host, Val! The gang discusses our favourite invertebrate, Nancy Pelosi, how Richard Spencer clearly wasn't punched hard enough, the inherent dehumanization and wage theft present in low-wage labour and imposed colonial pressures in the modern day. All fun stuff! We also briefly lose our god damn minds when finding out about Cory Booker's brother, Cary Booker, which took over conversation so completely that not even being mad about Game of Thrones Emmy's could dislodge it.

At around 38 minutes, Caroline's mic exploded mid-sentence so we just picked up with a different topic upon her return to the living.

Music used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men

Insane Clown Posse – Juggalo Island

S1E71 – Posting is Forbidden in the House of Representatives

Mon, 15 Jul 2019 23:50:45 -0000

Sorry this one's so late! Got a bit tied up in editing so we're a bit behind the times – nonetheless, we're here to podcast! But more importantly, we're here to give you an honest, no-bullshit take on something that's been on top of everyone's minds: what is up with everyone's 2020 campaign logo? We also get to the hard-hitting questions like "What games are Nancy Pelosi playing?" On top of that, Sara gives an impassioned plea, and Roy gives us an update on the Virginia governor. Lastly, wife of the show and burden of America Fallon joins us to talk a bit about Vic Mignogna's deposition, as well inviting YOU to join the Resembool Rangers!

Click here if you want to play along with our Dem campaign logo game!

Featuring Sara (who also edited!) and Roy!

Music used:
Evil Men – The Taxpayers
Orange Justice – Fortnite

S1E70 – Shoes Are Trains For Your Feet

Tue, 09 Jul 2019 03:45:50 -0000

America was too busy popping off fireworks if you know what I mean (popping off fireworks) so it's kind of a Canadian one! We talk a lot about environmental justice and how it affects every aspect of our lives. Don't worry, we also talk about the communist Betsy Ross shoes and the political alignment of sandals.

Featuring Matt and alex (whomst'd've'n't also edited)

Music used:
Evil Men – The Taxpayers
Plant A Tree Children Song For Baby | Earth Day | Arbor Day | Nursery Rhyme Song – Patty Shukla

S1E69 – Nice.

Sat, 29 Jun 2019 22:03:34 -0000

Nice.

Featuring: Matt, Caroline, Sara
Edited by alex

Music:
The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Neil Cicierega – Pokémon

S1E68 – Can't Get Wet If You're Wet

Mon, 17 Jun 2019 01:23:14 -0000

Alternate Title: Uh Oh, Brooks Is Typing. Join alex and Josh for a nice poolside chat about current events, why don’t you? Nothing unusual happens in this episode. Also we forgot to make any jokes about the episode number.
Click here if you’d like to play along with our Guess Who game (it’s probably funnier if you don’t)

Featuring Josh, alex, and Brooks
edited by alex

Music Used:
The Taxpayers – Evil Men
The Aquabats – Pool Party

S1E67 – Wife Medals

Sun, 09 Jun 2019 17:58:21 -0000

From Virginia to Ontario, everything's fucked up! Roy and Matt tackle this year's Pride shenanigans, the inherent evil of YouTube, old internet and call out Justin McElroy for being a bit-stealing bastard. Wooloo!

Links: Roy’s Lightbringer mention of HJKL, LoveForVB Fundraiser, Matt’s Lightbringer mention of The Shrieking Shack.

Music Used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men

hjkl – ninefour

S1E66 – Despite The Constant Negative Media E33

Mon, 03 Jun 2019 21:09:19 -0000

On a very special episode of HKIPGTD, alex leafcrunch and Eden forego the usual format to mostly talk about the Sl*voj Z*zek vs. J*rdan P*terson d*bate that happened a couple months back in T*ronto. Sorry for saying so many bad words but it's our duty as journalists to report the truth. Anyway our recording had pretty bad tech issues! Luckily we didn't have to throw any of it out, but our apologies for Eden cutting out sporadically. Thank you to our listeners for sending in questions and guiding the conversation!

Featuring: Eden and alex leafcrunch (who also edited)

Music used:
The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Luciano Michelini – Frolic

S1E65 – The Drawing And Quartering Of Mickey Mouse

Sun, 26 May 2019 01:24:28 -0000

Milkshakes, DUCK! This week the squad convenes to bid farewell to the Krassensteins, bemoan the ultimate failures of pinning leftist hopes on elections, pope ventriloquism and why eating onions is radical praxis.

At one point Matt forgets which criminal courts are stationed in The Hague, and does not correct himself on air, yes he googled it afterwards don't @ him.

Featuring Eden, Patrick and Matt. Matt edited.

Music Used
The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Kelis – Milkshake

S1E64 – Hey If There’s More If The Oceans Are More If There If The Water Get Tall Then Boat There’s More Boat

Sun, 12 May 2019 11:30:44 -0000

Meltdown May is steaming ahead at full power! Sara and Sam discuss some heated gaming moments from a surprising source, the reasons that climate change is good actually, unionbusting airlines, and more!

Featuring Sam and Sara
Edited by alex leafcrunch

Music used:
The Taxpayers – Evil Men

S1E63 – Subway: It Gives You Titties

Sun, 05 May 2019 18:23:15 -0000

Lauren and Alex Leafcrunch are coming at you this week to have a little barista chat and then talk about Jacob Wohl's latest hilarious failure, Caster Semenya's case against the IAAF, the possibility of a tumblr buyout, a brief beverage ASMR intermission, the Theranos documentary, Doug Ford's cellphone shenanigans, Burger Moods, the cyberbullying of Sonic, and the podcast vampire of Luminary

Featuring alex leafcrunch and Lauren
Edited by Patrick

Music Used
The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Burger King – #FeelYourWay

Link to thread mentioned by alex about Doug Ford

S1E62 – Dirt for Jared

Sat, 20 Apr 2019 04:01:58 -0000

Dirt for Jared. Dirt for Jared.

Matt and Patrick are here to talk about dirt for Jared, Alberta, which is famously covered in dirt, and other things but those have less to do with dirt and Jared. Dirt for Jared.

Featuring Matt and Patrick
Edited by alex leafcrunch

Music used:
The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Johnny Cash – Hurt

Dirt for Jared.

S1E61 – The Hungy Games (2008 Novel)

Sun, 14 Apr 2019 13:21:04 -0000

Andy Cuandy Loves It! One Weird Trick To Get $1.6 Billion From The City Of New York!
Ambassadors Hate Him! One Wacky Way To Get Evicted From An Ecuadorian Embassy!
White Supremacists Love Her! One Odd Tip To Get YouTube Live Comments Disabled!

All these useful lifehacks and more as Sara and Roy tackle the week on Henry Kissinger Is Pokémon GOing To Die.

Featuring: Sara and Roy
Edited by alex leafcrunch

Music used:
The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Lit – My Own Worst Enemy

S1E60 – Fuck You, Goku is Real

Sat, 06 Apr 2019 20:27:43 -0000

Sara and Matt hop back in the saddle to talk internet infrastructure, fake woke Canadian politicians and newer Antifa Supersoldier Jimothy Carrey's fight with Italian fascists. Alex wakes up bright and early to record an interview with the amazing N of LegitTayUpdates (voice modulated by request), recently released after serving a term in prison for refusing to join the IDF. WE STAN A STAN!

Please send donations to N's charity of choice, the THE PALESTINE CHILDREN’S RELIEF FUND.

Also lend your spirit power to Goku here.

Featuring: Sara and Matt, with Alex in a separately-recorded interview section.

Edited by Matt

Music used:
Evil Men – The Taxpayers
Death Grips – Culture Shock
Emo G – RIP Harambe
Lil Nas X – Old Town Road (Remix) feat. Billy Ray Cyrus

S1E59 – The Waveform In The Sand

Sat, 30 Mar 2019 18:36:13 -0000

This episode's mostly about Garfield!

On a scheduling note — our traditional recording night of Thursday has become inconvenient for most of the hosts, so we're shifting to recording Fridays or Saturdays.

Edit: There was an audio issue with this episode which I fixed, so apologies if it shows up twice in your feed! Sorry! Fuck! – alex

Featuring: Sam and Roy
Edited by alex leafcrunch

Music used:
Evil Men – The Taxpayers
Ready to Party – Desirée Goyette

S1E58 – Veto O'Fork

Fri, 15 Mar 2019 23:40:25 -0000

This episode was nearly lost a dozen times, what you hear now has been edited together from at least 7 separate audio tracks. My roommates were loud, I dropped a fork on myself, Craig died thrice, weird audio desync, and no preparation. It all comes together to give you a very special free form jazz episode of HKIPGTD, risen from the ashes. We talk about Beto, Mueller, Trudeau, and some other stuff in between our collective exasperation. Let my frankenstein sing into your ears.

Featuring: Brooks, Alex Leafcrunch, and Patrick(who also edited)

Music Used:
Evil Men – The Taxpayers
Spanish Flea – Herb Alpert and The Tijuana Brass

S1E57 – Women Be Anthony

Sat, 09 Mar 2019 20:10:37 -0000

Remember the dress? Well, now it's for gamers. But now instead of black and blue, we're red and nude about Professor Deals. Please pull up a tactical gaming chair and join Roy, Sam, and Sara for a normal one on this week's Henry Kissinger Is Pokémon GOing To Die! #FREEROY

Featuring Sara, Roy (punished), and Sam
Edited by alex leafcrunch

Music used:
The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Calum Bowen – Snipperclips Main Theme

S1E56 – Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Man (2018 Film)

Sat, 02 Mar 2019 04:51:22 -0000

Do you ever rise from your grave because you thought of another great nickname for your politics podcast? No? Just us? Special guest Eddy comes out of retirement for this very special episode of Henry Kissinger Is Pokémon GOing To Die!

Featuring Caroline, Eddy, and Patrick
Edited by alex leafcrunch

Music Used:
The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Elvis Presley – Hound Dog

S1E55 – Little Peepaw Bernie

Sat, 23 Feb 2019 01:39:56 -0000

Alex (English, Does not vote in US elections) and Josh (voted for John McCain) are coming at you this week to talk about the candidacy of Comrade Sanders, the ongoing Jussie Smollett debacle, the never ending temporal hellscape that is US election season, and some other stuff before Alex introduces a new segment: Tea Time! in which she regales us of all her tales of the fun political hijinx of ye olde british isles (independent party, ISIS brides, Piers & Ariana).

Featuring: Alex and Josh
Edited by Patrick

Music Used:
The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Liza Minnelli – Maybe This Time

S1E54 – Pokemon Black and White 3

Fri, 08 Feb 2019 17:00:39 -0000

Folks! Matt's here to tell you that politics is a huge woman destroying the State of Virginia and the Province of Ontario, and we're all too horny to stop her. Wait shit. I'm sorry, I'm trying to delete it. We play a little game of Schrodinger's Racism and everyone catches a terminal case of Internet Mad. Time to grab a huge mug of chamomile tea and log the fuck off.

Featuring: Eden, Roy, and Sara
Edited by and also featuring Matt.

Music Used:
The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Daft Punk – Get Lucky
Marty Robbins – Big Iron
Steven Universe – Giant Woman

S1E53 – Unsolicited Dick Nixon Pic

Sat, 02 Feb 2019 18:38:38 -0000

Hello! Join us this week as we talk about the presidential announcements from Officer Kamala Harris and Overlord Howard Schultz, DHS entrapment, Jussie Smollett, The Dirty Man Of Mike Rowe, Jeff F*ck, and probably some other stuff

Featuring: Lauren, Roy, and Sam
Edited by Patrick

Music Used:
The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Utada Hikaru – Sanctuary

S1E52 – Team America: World Police (2004 Film)

Sat, 26 Jan 2019 05:14:24 -0000

Where were you when Donkey Kong said "trans rights"? If you were the President, you were probably overseeing a coup in Venezuela. In other words, it's a slow news week in 2019. Caroline and Patrick welcome Linus back home and settle in for a normal one. Apologies for the uneven audio levels near the end.

Featuring: Patrick, Linus, Caroline
Edited by alex leafcrunch

Music used:
The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Eminem – Without Me

S1E51 – Donald's Declassifed Government Survival Guide

Fri, 18 Jan 2019 23:40:09 -0000

The podcast's transfeminine trifecta delivers you the week's news in a delicious, patriotic, presidential American Cheese and Canadian Bacon hamberder-style sandwich. We're three weeks into 2019 and I just checked my watch: it looks like we're having a normal one! Thanks for listening to Henry Kissinger Is Pokémon GOing To Die!

Featuring: Sara, Eden, alex leafcrunch
Edited by alex leafcrunch. Yes I get to put my twitter in twice.

Music used:
Evil Men – The Taxpayers
Mad About Me – Figrin D'an

S1E50 – The Purge 6: Joshua Tree

Fri, 11 Jan 2019 22:48:14 -0000

Bezos is filing for divorce? Folks, he should be filing his taxes! Join Sam, Patrick, Sara and Josh as they discuss the bipartisan agreement to be weird about AOC, the President saying "build my own wall or get poisoned, no government this year." (paraphrased), and more as 2019 continues to shape up as a normal one. Fuck! We didn't make a joke about "Josh"ua Tree.

Featuring Sam, Patrick, Sara, Josh.
Edited by alex leafcrunch.

Music used:
Evil Men – The Taxpayers
U2 – Where The Streets Have No Name

HKIPGTD State Of The Union 2019

Fri, 04 Jan 2019 05:01:05 -0000

A thankaroo from us to you. It's been a really great experience to do this show for a year and so we put something together to say "Thamk Yuo"

While you're here let me also extend my (patrick) and our (assorted non-patrick) thanks to:
Sara, for getting us all off our asses to actually get the show going
Sam, for doing so much of the heavy lifting re:editing in the beginning and also in the now
Matt, for giving our show a place to call home
Brooks and Eddy for providing the wonderful community that brought us all together (crank naysh represent!)
All of my wonderful cohosts for being so cool and fun to talk to and make a show with
And me, for [fill this in when you think of how not to be a dick about it]

Music used:
The Taxpayers – Evil Men

S1E49 – One Point Seven Dollars

Fri, 28 Dec 2018 21:14:46 -0000

It's almost 2019, and it's time to reflect on the very normal year we've had, and turn our eyes forward to the very normal year to come. It's Henry Kissinger Is Pokémon GOing To Die! How much will Sam personally donate to fund the border wall? Which politician's fetish will become public knowledge next year? Tune in for the answers to these questions, and more.

Featuring Sam, Patrick, Sara.
Edited by alex leafcrunch.

Music used:
The Taxpayers – Evil Men
~Oingo and Boingo~ – Makoto Yasumura, Motoko Kumai and Hidenobu Kiuchi

S1E48 – Mom Boot Goofin'

Sat, 08 Dec 2018 03:48:58 -0000

Call us the Oscars, because we needed a new host! Two of them, actually! But like we’re not gonna fire them, like what the Oscars did to Kevin Hart. Look, it’s hard being topical, okay? Either way – please welcome our two new hosts, Alex (Leafcrunch) and Roy (Fuckwarlock)! They’re our newest additions to the roster and we’re really excited to have them. Join us as we mourn the death of George Homework Bush at the hands of his tragic No Nut November accident, mourn the loss of female-presenting nipples from Tumblr at the hands of the bastard man David Karp, and mourn the death of Lauren’s Homestuck-free lifestyle at the hands of the podcast Hamsteak!

Featuring Alex Leafcrunch, Roy, Patrick, and Lauren

Music used:
Evil Men – The Taxpayers
Tumblr: The Musical – Vlogbrothers

S1E47 – ZOBONEMAFOO

Fri, 30 Nov 2018 18:12:39 -0000

Another week in hell, folks! Or should I say two weeks because the Americans had their fake November Thanksgiving last week and non-Americans like the one editing and writing this description were working. This week the gang talks Tungle.hell, GamesDoneQuick, Laura Loomer's four hour tantrum and the fact that climate change will kill us all. It's worst case Ontario out here, folks. Also, Trump gets stuck in another bucket of syrup, how's he gonna get out of thi- oh he's out? Ah, well, nonetheless.

Featuring Sara, Caroline and Patrick

Music used:
Evil Men – The Taxpayers
Gila – Beach House

S1E46 – Have you heard of Mario?

Fri, 16 Nov 2018 23:21:55 -0000

Sam and Sara are drift compatible and piloting a big podcast robot as a two person team this week, and what a week it was. Talking points include: evil internet companies, an impromptu game of movie ball, the wacky president's new weird thing he said, Jim Acosta – Kung Fu master, Sony steals a thing used for stealing, all covered in a 7 layer bean dip of tangents

Featuring Sam and Sara

Music used:
Evil Men – The Taxpayers
Signed, Sealed, Delivered – The California Raisins

S1E45 – 1 Download = 1 Prayer

Sat, 10 Nov 2018 00:17:37 -0000

The young guns of HKIP are here with a post-midterms episode to talk about all the bad-to-fine results from the recent elections. We also cover the most recent mass shooting to make national headlines, Charlie Kirk's (alleged) spending habits, RBG's recent whoopsie, Jeff Sessions, and other news and news based products. Highlights include: the demise of Wisconsin's resident deli meat abomination, our first ever improv news story, and the several minutes where I just read CNN headlines for a while.

Featuring: Caroline, Eden, and Patrick

Music used:
The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Renee Elise Goldsberry – Muppet Babies

S1E44 – List of Good Shapes

Sat, 03 Nov 2018 01:20:47 -0000

In arguably our least prepared episode yet, your friends at HKIPGTD try to bring a little bit of levity as they juggle it alongside yet another week of horrendous news that came down the pipeline! We also talk Jacob Wohl's corn cob troubles, get to the bottom of whether or not Master Chief's suit jerks him off, and finally take a hard stance on soda drinking. Plus: who will Bernie main in Smash?

Featuring Sam and Josh. Edited by Sara.

Music used:
The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Ludacris – Stand Up (feat. Shawna)

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S1E43 – A Very Sharp Katana

Fri, 26 Oct 2018 16:00:09 -0000

Let's just get one thing straight, here. There is nothing funny about sending a b*mb to Alec Baldwin. Just something we have to clarify since we have so many listeners at the NSA! Anyway, this week was bad, as so many of them are. It's Halloween though, kind of, so that's something! In the spirit of the season, this episode is sponsored by GameDie.

Featuring Lauren, Patrick, and Sara. Edited by Sam.

Music Used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men

Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass – Spanish Flea

The Living Tombstone – Spooky Scary Skeletons (Remix)

Tumblr | Twitter | Facebook | Discord | Patreon

S1E42 – Donald Trump's Oral Promise

Fri, 19 Oct 2018 15:00:32 -0000

We're getting S E X Y this episode, and each host has something carnal to bring to the table! Join us as we recount this surreal week and talk about Elizabeth Warren going to The Max for some shakes with Screech! We also all get our 23andMe tests and find out just what percentage of religion we all are! Sara gets her percentages down. Zach takes us to the Gamer Corner. Alex reveals her true identity, and then does it again.

Featuring Zach, Alex, and Sara

Music Used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men

The Beach Boys – Wouldn't It Be Nice

S1E41 – Big Dick Synergy

Fri, 12 Oct 2018 16:00:19 -0000

We're back! We missed a week because everyone was unavailable and/or depressed, but your favorite gamers are here to be mad about Brett Kavanaugh – finally! Zach assigns cabinet positions to Bone Bone and Donald Trump Jr, Patrick laughs at a joke that isn't theirs to laugh at, Sam struggles to remember what 11 minus 5 is (it's 6!), and we all unite in hatred against… dentists, I guess? Welcome to We Hate Dentists? I guess???

Featuring Zach, Patrick, and Sam

Music Used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men

Between the Buried and Me – Ants of the Sky

I Heart Hiroshima – Teef

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S1E40 – BKIPGTD

Sat, 29 Sep 2018 00:00:34 -0000

Boy howdy we sure did talk about Brett for almost an entire hour. Linus just woke up, Patrick and Caroline melted their brains with hours of senate hearings, and Sam is trying to wrangle any sort of coherence out his very dazed co-hosts. We also talk about Trump, because he is the president, and Elon Musk, because we needed something to feel good about.

Featuring Caroline, Linus, Patrick, and Sam

Music Used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men

Gabriel Gundacker – Zendaya is Meechee

Tumblr | Twitter | Facebook | Discord | Patreon

HKIPGTD Mailbag - September 2018

Wed, 26 Sep 2018 17:33:19 -0000

Topics of discussion include: Pickle Rick, owning Susan Sarandon, Dril tweets, bringing back the guillotine and us not knowing a god damn thing, including how say our own acronym.

Featuring Caroline, Sam and Matt.

Tumblr | Twitter | Facebook | Discord | Patreon

S1E39 – Antz (1998 Film)

Fri, 21 Sep 2018 16:00:35 -0000

I hope you like hearing about the Grinch's dick, because – wait. Sorry, let me start over. I hope you like hearing about Kermit going down on Miss Piggy, because – wait. Sorry. Sometimes you just can't sell an episode of this podcast. You know how it is with us. Don't worry, we also talk about family-friendly things like other pauls for Name Manafort – wait. Hold on, let me start over.

(CW: Lots of sexual assault talk in this one, from 4 minutes to 34 minutes in)

Featuring Sam, Sara, and Patrick.

Music used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band – Ant Man Bee

Tumblr | Twitter | Facebook | Discord | Patreon

S1E38 – Thanks for Nothing, Cardi B

Fri, 14 Sep 2018 16:00:52 -0000

This week on a very special episode of HKIPGTD, almost everyone is busy so it's just two gamers here to talk about the events of the week. Fortunately, we're joined by friend of the show Scout to talk about the recently announced wage increase for Disney parks cast members and Walt's original vision for EPCOT! Other topics of discussion include Jeff Bezos age regression, Cardi B's failure to save New York politics, and doing a Christ Air into your local CEO.

Featuring: Lauren and Sam

Music used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men
David Ogden Stiers – Mine, Mine, Mine

Tumblr | Twitter | Facebook | Discord | Patreon

S1E37 – 50 First Bowls of Chili

Sun, 09 Sep 2018 16:00:22 -0000

What a big week! For the first time in the history of our podcast, Sara allows another host to intro the episode, and then takes control back by the end. Yes, we've got a lot of firsts this week: the titular bowls of chili, making fun of Eminem, saying the name of George Washington… maybe more! I guess you'll have to listen to find out, because I just ate a big bowl of chili before writing this description and don't remember what happened in the episode. For more information, visit http://forgotmychildren.fart/.

Featuring: Sara, Zach, Eden, and Caroline

Music used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Eminem – Shady CXVPHER

Tumblr | Twitter | Facebook | Discord | Patreon

S1E36 – McCain Drinking A 40 In The Death Basket

Fri, 31 Aug 2018 23:21:10 -0000

This episode is a eulogy for the Maverick, who recently ejected out of the mortal plane, breaking both arms immediately. We suspect he'll spend his time in the afterlife nearly doing the right thing, then deciding not to. This week, Zach auditions for SNL. Alex does two podcasts at once. Josh enters the confessional.

Featuring: Alex, Zach and Josh

Music used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Phil Collins – In The Air Tonight

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S1E35 – Reach Into Your Local Trade Union

Fri, 24 Aug 2018 21:25:57 -0000

Here in 2018, what we know for sure is that Powerthirst is funny and that capitalism is the most reasonable distribution of resources. Just ask Verizon! This week the squad talks new names, vape games, popping big bottles for the big man Manafort and manages three separate times to discuss internet culture minutiae. We're extremely online, just don't report us to Doug Ford!

Featuring: Sam, Sara, Eden, Matt and Lauren

Music used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men
The Coup – The Guillotine

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HKIPGTD Mailbag - August 2018

Tue, 21 Aug 2018 02:51:12 -0000

Topics of discussion include: Pokemon, nihilism, the ethics of liking Rick and Morty and of course, Looker the cat.

Featuring Eden, Sam and Matt.

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S1E34 – Literally About A Dog

Fri, 17 Aug 2018 08:20:53 -0000

CW: discussion of transphobic violence towards children from 20:00-24:33

The Canada Gang + Patrick sit down this week to discuss all sorts of wonderful (read: terrible) things going on in the world, such as: Elon's Wild Ride, Nazi's try and fail to organize again, The first major-party transgender gubernatorial candidate in US history, Our funny president doing slurs and eating secrets, Aretha Franklin (Sad), Tom Perez (Mad), and Chris Hardwick (Bad). It's my first time editing so if anything sounds bad it was an artistic choice.

Featuring Evan, Linus, Matt, and Patrick

Music used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Neil Cicierega – Smooth

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S1E33 – Our Man's Sky

Sat, 11 Aug 2018 03:19:38 -0000

Happy Space Force! All the hosts on this week met in person last weekend, and they all lived! Now the gamers are back and they get into the important stuff like space force, Saudi Arabia threatening to do a 9/11, old video games, space force and a dating app that really screwed the pooch.

Featuring Lauren, Sara, Caroline, Sam and Matt.

Music used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men
The World Ends With You – Countdown: Final Day

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S1E32 – A Funny Picture of Donald Trump

Fri, 27 Jul 2018 14:00:00 -0000

Bad news for the Republicans' intact heads: it turns out socialism is good and people like it! On this week's episode: Josh pays his respects for the late Meghan McCain by voting for her father again, Evan and Sam fail to joke, and Linus does something very unnecessary. RIP George "Polite" Washington. Sorry they took all your blood.

Featuring Evan, Josh, Sam, and Linus.

Music used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Epic Rap Battles of History – Superman vs. Goku

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S1E31 – Jordan "Gollum 'Stitch' Smeagol" Peterson

Fri, 20 Jul 2018 16:00:54 -0000

We got him, folks. We here at HKIPGTD launched our funny Trump balloon over London and he resigned immediately. Now that that's taken care of, we can talk about the REAL issues: roasting everyone, finding regular ways to use pig heads, and how to do a Jordan Peterson voice. And as always, thanks for listening to our podcast, HKIPGT

Featuring Alex, Brooks, and Linus.

Music used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Ted Nugent – Wang Dang Sweet Poontang (live)

Tumblr | Twitter | Facebook | Discord | Patreon

HKIPGTD Mailbag - July 2018

Thu, 19 Jul 2018 03:12:32 -0000

Topics of discussion include: Taco Bell depression, ComputerTalkChat, Mr. Peanut's name, TMG/TMBG Top 3s, Squenix vore, 999 is good and Sam is smart.

Featuring Sam and Luna.

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S1E30 – Elon Musk's Cave Story

Sat, 14 Jul 2018 20:11:01 -0000

Disclaimer: Discord was having a lot of issues on the day of this recording, so the episode is a bit rough at times. Nothing we can do about it, sorry! This week, we discuss the correct pronunciation of Twenty One Pilots, learn about famous Bretts, and get grandfathered into lizardom. Here lies Discord… peperony and chease.

Featuring Luna, Lauren, Zach, Caroline, and Evan.

Music used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men

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S1E29 – The Young Pope of Fox News

Sat, 07 Jul 2018 00:58:17 -0000

This scorching hot week, the hosts all melt together into one gelatinous beast, named HKIPGTD for the sound it makes oozing across the Earth. Lauren does spon-con for Chick-fil-A. Linus auditions for the part of Scott Pruitt. Zach is betrayed by our boys in blue. Josh listens intently. This is so sad, Alexa play podcast.

Featuring Josh, Lauren, Zach, and Linus.

Music used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Alexa – Luis Fonsi – Despacito (feat. Daddy Yankee)

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S1E28 – An Awfully Hot Coffee Pot

Sun, 01 Jul 2018 00:31:30 -0000

I hope you're all ready for some freaking civility, because we're at our most polite and restrained this week. When the Supreme Court's got you down, just remember there's one silver lining: you can always get a UTI! Also, congratulations to Yung Challenger!

Featuring Sam, Luna, and Zach.

Music used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Eminem – The Storm

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S1E27 – Dental Tootherism

Sat, 23 Jun 2018 00:23:37 -0000

What's up, war criminals? Time for another DISRUPTIANO as we try desperately to not talk about the horrible news from America's southern border and instead talk about which of our hosts we're going to kill, interesting biological facts about elected representation and legal weed. Also, Sam gets mad about Detroit: Become Human again.

Featuring Matt, Sam, Linus and Evan.

Relevant Links:

Music Used:

The Taxpayers – "Evil Men"
Ditty.It – "Pizza and Pasta Song"

S1E26 – Jeff Sessions, KKKeebler Elf

Fri, 15 Jun 2018 23:13:10 -0000

What the FUCK is up, gamers? Hope you're ready for all the big gamer pussy moments fresh from the floor of E3, where this was recorded live and in person! We decided to take a week off from news and just discuss the latest and greatest in heated gaming moments. Join us for the live broadcast of the Twitch Streamer Don't Say Slurs Challenge! This week, Alex confirms her psychic nature, Josh announces a retirement, Caroline recounts on her time as The Confederate Cinderella, and Lauren loses her entire fucking mind over paper un-shredders.

Featuring Josh, Lauren, Caroline, and Alex

Note: we discuss Anthony Bourdain briefly at the start of the episode. If you're not feeling okay lately, we want to share some resources with you.
US: National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255
UK: Papyrus 0800 068 41 41
Canada: CASP
Australia: Lifeline 13 11 14
Thank you so much for listening, we’re glad you’re here!

Music Used:
The Taxpayers – "Evil Men"
Marilyn Monroe – "Happy Birthday"

HKIPGTD Mailbag - June 2018

Mon, 11 Jun 2018 01:28:21 -0000

Topics of discussion include: LFO v. HKIPGTD, Citizen of the World Tony Hawk, soccer is destroying western civilization, Elon Mechs, salty milk and pennies, Todd's new game.

Featuring Sam, Evan, and Alex.

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S1E25 – Cleaning Out the Spam Box

Sat, 09 Jun 2018 05:53:17 -0000

Sorry this episode is a bit disorganized! It's been a week. But if you think that's going to stop us from saying our standard detestable garbage, hey, I guess you don't know this podcast very well! This week: Linus's dad gets doxxed, Luna gets censored, Matt has some issues with Bill Clinton, and Sam makes the most shameful mistake of his life.

Featuring Sam, Matt, Luna, and Linus.

Music used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Tim and Eric – Doo Dah Doo Doo

Ontario Hellection (featuring Emma)

Thu, 07 Jun 2018 23:10:28 -0000

Howdy fellow Canadians! If you're reading this, it's on or after polling day in Ontario and we're either in hell or in a different, slightly more left-leaning hell! If you're American, this episode can help you get acquainted with Canada's Biggest* Province and some of the hosts (and friends!) within its parliamentary system!

We had a couple of technical issues so we lost hosts over the course of the episode, just like how Doug Ford wants the province to run! HEYOO!!!

Featuring Matt, Linus, Evan, Andi and special guest Emma!

Music used:
The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Shark Tank – Out For A Rip

*by population and self-importance

S1E24 – Huddled Masses, I Don't Feel So Good...

Sat, 02 Jun 2018 01:13:25 -0000

*NOTE* This is episode had a few audio issues originally, so this version is the correct one! Thanks for your patience!*

Hey gamers! Are you ready for hot takes about the coolest new game Detroit: Become Human? Well you're in luck! In between all of our gaming, we also talked to special guest Su about what it's like to try and teach children in this current political climate, Puerto Rico, the Mysteries of Melania, a lot of presidential pardons, and whether you can look at your own butt. Also, we celebrate some important anniversaries!

Featuring: Evan, Sara, Sam, and Su

Note: we mention briefly Chelsea Manning and how glad we are she's safe and doing okay. If you aren't feeling okay lately, we want to share some resources with you.
US: National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255
UK: Papyrus 0800 068 41 41
Canada: CASP
Australia: Lifeline 13 11 14
Thank you so much for listening, we're glad you're here!

Music Used:
Tax Payers – "Evil Men"
"The Central Command" (EE&E Remix)

S1E23 – The Elusive Threenis

Fri, 25 May 2018 16:00:34 -0000

The gang is back and mostly intact for another week of Elon After Dusk, the Elon Musk fancast! Step into the rhyme zone with us as we discuss Elon Musk crytyping, Elon Musk's funny lever, Elon Musk's worse Verrit, Elon Musk's putrid son Thrush, and more! Oppan President Style!

Featuring Sam, Matt, Evan, Linus, and Zach.

Music used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Neil Cicierega – Bustin

Furrent Events (featuring Axel Lycan)

Thu, 24 May 2018 22:59:35 -0000

This week on HKIPGTD, we have our first non-Lightbringer bonus episode! Axel, one of the hosts from over at Barking Points Memo, came on to talk about furry stuff with Lulu! Also, fandom outsiders Sam and Evan sat in for a complete learning experience. Join us as Axel confirms that furries do online better, runs a few Japanese ads, and helps us answer the ultimate question: how would a little pony hold a gun?

Check out Axel on Twitter (@AxelLycan) and on Barking Points Memo!

Featuring Luna, Evan, and Sam

Music used:
The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Yuki Hayashi – You Say Run

S1E22 – Stewie Griffin's Real Voice

Fri, 18 May 2018 15:20:37 -0000

This week, we discuss the horrific Gaza tragedy at length, and then immediately forget we're doing a politics podcast. Topics include: dodging the YouTube algorithms, Nicole Arbour punching up the jam, the mysterious death of Freddie Mercury, and time-traveling Alex.

Featuring Josh, Alex, Linus and Luna.

Music used:
The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Family Guy Theme Song (Trap Remix) [Bass Boosted]

S1E21 – Waka Flocka McConnell

Fri, 11 May 2018 08:20:48 -0000

Welcome back to The Week in Stupid! Linus, Eddy, Caroline, and Lauren are here to give you the brain worms you've been wishing for by discussing our very capable President Deals, Rihanna our newest Pope That Fucks, and how much we can't stand Elon Musk (surprise!). Also, we do our best Tim the Tool Man impressions and try to figure out straight culture.

Music used:

The Taxpayers – "Evil Men"
OG Maco – "12 Bricks"

Featuring Linus, Eddy, Lauren and Caroline

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HKIPGTD Mailbag - May 2018

Mon, 07 May 2018 16:00:06 -0000

You wonderful weirdos keep giving us Patreon money, so here it is: our first monthly mailbag! Topics of discussion include sittin' in trucks, the good cat Looker, cursed Clinton shipping phrases, and gold-covered rich asshole food.

Featuring Sam, Evan, Linus, Matt, and Lauren.

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S1E20 – Adjusting For Inflation

Sat, 05 May 2018 00:28:23 -0000

Choo choo! You hear that? That's the sound of us pulling into the Inflation Station for another great episode of Adjusting For Inflation, the furry podcast about everyone's favorite kink! Join Lulu, Brooks, Patrick, and Sam as they talk about the in(flation)s and outs of the fetish in the current political climate! This episode: what's the scoop on pumping up those truck nuts you've got?

Featuring Lulu, Sam, Patrick, and Brooks

Music used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Tobyfox – Megalovania

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S1E19 – The Topper's Pizza Party Hour

Sat, 28 Apr 2018 03:00:32 -0000

This week, like every other week, is brought to you by Canadian pizza powerhouse, Topper's Pizza! Enjoy as all of our Canadian hosts, plus Sam, bring you a pizza-fueled hour of the nightmare hellscape we all call life! Scott Pruitt? More like Scott Pepperon-itt! So come on down to your local Topper's, and fill your gas tank with our sweet 'za! Remember: at Topper's, you belong to us!

Featuring Evan, Linus, Matt, and Sam.

Music used:
The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Pizza Kids – We Like Pizza

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S1E18 – The Fellatio of Marilyn Manson by the Coward Marilyn Manson

Sat, 21 Apr 2018 01:17:49 -0000

Welcome to this week's installment of The Misandry Minute! This time, we spend an hour disrespecting men! There's some other stuff, but it's mostly that first thing. If you have any stories about hating men, please send an email to WeAllHateMen@Fuckmen.com. Also, please e-mail us to tell us if you want Family Guy to bring back Brian! This is our crusade now.

Featuring Luna, Lauren, and Patrick.

Music used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Dr. Dre – The Next Episode ft. Snoop Dogg, Kurupt, and Nate Dogg

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S1E17 – Milk Zuckerberg

Fri, 13 Apr 2018 19:34:02 -0000

You know that classic relatable feeling when you're about to start recording a podcast, and then an excerpt from James Comey's upcoming book comes out that basically confirms the existence of the pee tape, and you have other things to talk about, but all you want to talk about is the pee tape? I think we've all been there. Anyway, here's an episode of our podcast. We cover a broad range of topics, from the pee tape to Mark Zuckerberg to the pee tape. We also talk briefly about the pee tape. Hey, "Alex" is back!

Featuring Luna, Alex, Sam, and Josh.

Music used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Coldplay – Yellow

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S1E16 – WetWarioASMR.mp3

Fri, 06 Apr 2018 16:20:40 -0000

Luna is back, and she finally has the bionic leg of her dreams! Thanks, Obama! That was so nice of him to do that surgery for her. Good thing, too, because otherwise Sam was going to kinkshame ASMR without any opposition, as he should. Luna also sits down with friend of the show Ambious to talk about the recent IDF attack on Palestinian protesters, because it wouldn't be a week on earth without something horrific happening. Also, we come up with some alternative names for EPA administrator Scott Pruitt, just in case he decides his current one doesn't have enough pizzazz.

Featuring Luna, Sam, Matt, and Zach.

Music used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Simple Plan – I'm Just a Kid

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S1E15 – Ready Number One (2018 Film)

Fri, 30 Mar 2018 16:20:35 -0000

Great news: we managed to get a week in without having to talk about a new school shooting! That's right, this episode's school shooting discussion is about the same ones as last week. What a treat! But it's not all bad – we've also got an extremely high-brow joke about the Forbidden Substance. And no, I'm not talking about the doja we're blowing! Haha! That's a thing people say, right?

Featuring Lauren, Patrick, Sam, Linus, and Josh.

Music used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Demi Adejuyigbe – Rejected Theme Song from READY PLAYER ONE

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S1E14 – Crimes Committed by Strong Bad

Fri, 23 Mar 2018 17:37:04 -0000

Sooner or later, we're going to have to stop even mentioning how bad every week is. Hey, bad week! Take our hand as we trudge through a river of bad news and you shall be rewarded with some great* impressions and discussions of our favorite Wikia sites. Sometimes you just have to do anything you can possibly do to stay off topic. Hey, y'all remember Chuck? *note: impressions may not actually be great. Also, here’s the Justin Trudeau emoji.

Featuring Patrick, Sam, Matt, and Zach.

Music used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men
DRYNX – Brown Wine

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S1E13 – Stephen Hawking's Toe Destruction

Fri, 16 Mar 2018 23:22:22 -0000

This awful week is finally over! Friends, your hosts are back in the studio and just cannot wait to talk about their favorite personality who made headlines this week, Jake Paul. We also mourn the loss of Stephen Hawking as well as "mourn" Rex Tillerson's firing, and we celebrate the kids who stuck it to old people this week. Brooks also gets bullied, and we still cannot stop saying the word "yeeks," sorry.

Featuring Lulu, Lauren, Brooks, Caroline and Josh.

Music used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Jake Paul – It’s Everyday Bro

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S1E12 – Women Virginia

Fri, 09 Mar 2018 16:12:42 -0000

Ladies, rev up your fryers! It's International Women's Day, and McDonald's has a treat for you: it's the letter W! Aren't you glad? In case that's not enough to make your week great, Donald Trump is getting sued, and video games are illegal. Hooray! Look's like God's been watching Game of Thrones, because women are finally on top (of a pole outside of your local McDonald's).

Featuring Patrick, Sam, Matt, Caroline, and Zach.

Music used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Justin Timberlake – I'm Lovin' It

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S1E11 – Leftists Love Cool James

Fri, 02 Mar 2018 19:27:41 -0000

Great news: this week was relatively less of a total nightmare than recent weeks! That means we get to have a lighthearted episode again, thank god. This week, Brooks drinks intersectional racism juice, Bill Gates drinks doodoo water, and we invent a new slogan for Fiverr. There's also a discussion of Donald Trump's thiccness that killed Luna. Whoops! Guess that Patreon goal came true sooner than we expected! (cough cough money please cough)

Featuring Luna, Brooks, Eddy, Josh, and Lauren.

Music used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Brad Paisley – Accidental Racist (feat. LL Cool J)

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S1E10 – Are You Smarter Than a High Schooler?

Fri, 23 Feb 2018 09:20:04 -0000

We did it! Ten whole episodes! To celebrate, we discuss the Republican Wild West fantasy, Marco Rubio getting owned by teenagers, the NRA wanting no scrubs, and our milk problems. We promise not to talk about that Garfield thing anymore, and I can say that because Matt's not here this week.

Featuring Linus, Caroline, Zach, and Sam.

Music used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Rush – Anthem

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S1E9 – Secret Patreon Garfield Comics

Fri, 16 Feb 2018 09:20:18 -0000

Hello, friends. This episode starts with an apology for how heavy the last one was, and then immediately becomes extremely heavy because we live in a nightmare world. We do our best to keep things light on this podcast as much as we can, but!!! You know!!! Fortunately, we managed to get some great goofs in about video game titties and Jon Arbuckle's questionable but 100% canonical beverage choices.
(Note: when we're talking about Subnautica, we mistakenly refer to the Funnie Attack Helicopter Tweet as being from the lead developer – we meant sound designer. Whoops!)

Featuring Luna, Evan, Matt, Patrick, and Sam.

Music used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Waka Flocka Flame – Hard in da Paint

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S1E8 – TRUST the Police

Fri, 09 Feb 2018 09:20:18 -0000

This week, HKIPGTD officially crosses the Thicc Blue Line. We have two new hosts to help us dance on Tom Brady's football grave, figure out what the economy is, celebrate MLK Jr.'s sweet new spokesperson gig, and lay bare the many, many sins of Quizno Totino's (Quentin Tarantino). Plus: Chips for women, Lopunny's sex positivity, and Valentine's Gay.

CW for this ep: Sexual assault and rape, from roughly 28:30 to 46:00.

Featuring Josh, Lauren, Zach, Caroline and Evan.

Music used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Baked Alaska – We Love Our Cops (Official Video) PRO-COP PRO-MILITARY ANTHEM WOW!!!

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Facebook

S1E7 – Henry Krangsinger

Fri, 02 Feb 2018 09:20:26 -0000

What's up, gamers? This week we're talking about a variety of topics, some bad, some worse. The HKIP gang weigh in on Chelsea Manning's weird Cernovich thing, Woody Allen defenders, and Trump's fun Mueller problem. Also, we finally make our opinions on cops known! After that, we clear out our backlog of questions, fantasize about Joe Kennedy's wet mouth, and decide once and for all when it's okay for white people to say the N word.

Featuring Luna, Alex, Sam, and Linus.

Music used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Kanye West – Gold Digger

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Twitter
Facebook

S1E6 – Conflict Oopsies

Fri, 26 Jan 2018 21:20:08 -0000

Hey fellow #Resistance soldiers! We're back at it again on the online with your favourite politics podcast that sometimes discusses the intricacies of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. This week, we discuss Canadian racism, another God damn school shooting, making Football Racist Again and Meryl Streep playing liberal improv. Also Jeff Bezos? More like Jeff BOZO!

Featuring Matt, Brooks, Zach, and Patrick.

Music used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Killa $al – More Krazy Money

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Twitter
Facebook

S1E5 – The Nintendo Labio

Fri, 19 Jan 2018 09:20:11 -0000

(CW: discussion of sexual assault)

Well, shoot, folks! Looks like politics is at it again! Kentucky is trying to kill everyone from Kentucky, Trump said the thing about "shithole countries", TERFs are being TERFs, and the White House officially declared that Trump has the physique of a professional athlete. But it's not all bad, because Chelsea Manning Is Pokemon Going to Run For Senator. Hopefully we talk about loot boxes enough in this one! Finally, Sam earns his first comedy point.

Featuring Luna, Sam, Josh, Eddy, and Lauren.

Music used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men
The Pest – Voodoo Mambo

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Twitter
Facebook

S1E4 – Movieball

Fri, 12 Jan 2018 12:51:38 -0000

Wow, Hollywood! What a great place, where the stars are out in droves and it's close to the beach! This week on HKIPGTD, once we're done giving ourselves an award for how good we are at podcasting, we're talking about the Golden Globes and how every celebrity is a piece of garbage. We also revisit our old pal Sheriff Joe, commit illegal slander against James Damore, and formally welcome two of our podcasters to the white race.

Featuring Sam, Matt, Alex, and Patrick.

Music used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Sleater-Kinney – Bury Our Friends

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Twitter

S1E3 – The Hillary Clinton Amiibo

Fri, 05 Jan 2018 09:20:58 -0000

It's time for Episode 3 of HKIPGTD! It's a new year, and as always everything is terrible. Trump waves his dick around on Twitter, then uses it to wave away voter fraud. Ontario's minimum wage hits $14 and Tim Horton's doin' Wage 'Xtortion. Special guest Daniel @tirentu Fournier helps discuss Magic: The Gathering's very own Pizzagate. The gang recaps Yu-Gi-Oh.

Featuring the return of Luna and Lauren, as well as newcomers Zach, Josh and podcast celebrity Andi!

Music used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men
Yu-Gi-Oh! Theme Song

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S1E2 – An Increasingly Militarized Barrel

Fri, 29 Dec 2017 09:20:47 -0000

Hello and welcome to Episode 2 of HKIPGTD! We were marred by a few technical issues this week but we sorted most of them out in post, except for our half-baked leftist takes but what would the podcast be without 'em! Featuring a wholly different cast from Episode 1, we discuss Daddy Trudeau, weed legalization, the benefits of fucking aliens and the leftist infighting over what colour Gumby is. Also somehow, they let us on iTunes and Google Play! Please water us with some nice reviews.

Featuring Matt, Alex, Linus, Brooks and Eddy.

Music used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men
No More Heroes 2 OST – Bit Side: Bug Out Last 1

https://hkipgtd.tumblr.com/

S1E1 – Satanist Toddlers

Fri, 22 Dec 2017 06:22:01 -0000

Hello and welcome to the inaugural episode of your new favorite leftist politics podcast with a rotating cast of internet SJWs, Henry Kissinger Is Pokemon Going to Die! It's not a threat, just a fact. Don't worry, we'll be constantly reassuring you of that at all times, because we don't want to go to prison. For our first episode we're mostly talking about predictions for 2018, how Doug Jones has no spine, and how all Republicans are absolutely, definitely lizard people. Please let us be on iTunes.

Featuring Luna, Sam, Patrick, and Lauren

Music used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men
LuigiBlood – Fuck Bees

https://hkipgtd.tumblr.com/