You can give us money to make the rest of the series HERE, but who even has money these days, so if you wanna help out pls listen to the pilot and then TELL EVERYONE YOU KNOW ABOUT HOW GOOD IT IS : Lydia Instagram Lydia Twitter Podcast Website YOUTUBE?? VIDEO??

I am extremely confident that if you listen to this you will Like it, which is why i've slapped it onto your podcast feeds without asking

Thank you for your help! ~ Sarah xoxo

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• cowboy hat
• worlds tiniest violin
• Basketball that turns into a gun

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Ray's Tsubasa Chronicles Podcast | Riley's Podcasting Podcast | Sarah's Patrick Rothfuss Hatecast | Colin also does a podcasts

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• surfing on whales are VERY NOT COOL
• things that we are supposed to forget
• Koby is: uncool, has a mean face, wants to free herself from restrictive life of the furniture people, is very nice, has a mean inner face

What the frick did you just hecking say about me, you cutie? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Furniture Culinary School, and I've been involved in numerous charity bakes, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in quilting and needlework and I'm the top karoake singer in the whole hidden grass vallege. You are nothing to me but a new friend. I will wipe you the frick out with kindness the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words.

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Notes from episode 1 (which we did without recording)

1. Ichiban Kowabungamaru
2. they/them
3. lives in the grass village blaze it
4. Cool eye makeup
5. Cool cowboy hat
6. Cowboy boots with no toes but with spurs
7. As many belts as possible
8. Has a weird tummy scar (backstory???)

Notes from episode 2

1. aw shit we didnt write anything down oops
2. look at the podcast art to see what we drew tho

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It sometimes sucks shit.

It sometimes is not a good time.

But do you know what is a good time?

Exorcising someone you used to know as a friend.

Goodbye colin. 

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nartplane

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1 Holy

1. A Holy Book
2. A Video Tape
3. A Communist Flag
4. Lots of bees
5. Hot springs bathrobe
6. Kakashi's mask

2 Cursed

1. Erotic novel
2. String of pearls
3. Tattoos
4. Gamer Juice
5. Vape
6. Heart veins

3 Ninja?

1. Ninja shoes (good, we like it)
2. Ninja Headband 
3. Ninja Tools
4. Ninja Jutsus 
5. Ninja Fishnets
6. Ninja Bugs 

4 Regular

1. Regular shoes (WHAT ARE THOSE?)
2. Truck
3. Just One gender, of many.
4. A Burrito
5. A Cassette Tape
6. A Bowl of regular, legal, ramen

5 Weapons

1. Shuriken
2. A Lightsaber
3. THE ORB OF COMMUNISM
4. A Fart
5. Hinata’s Hands (which are lightsabers)
6. Bees

6 Animals 

1. Small pig (with a human voice)
2. Small dog (with a human voice)
3. Small cat (with a human voice)
4. Small frog (with a human voice)
5. Toadsuya Nomura
6. SMOKING JOHNNY

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1 The Revealed Leaf Village

1. Hokage's house
2. The Pachinko Parlour/laundrette
3. The Ninja Classroom
4. The grave of someone important
5. The Illegal Ramen Shop
6. The Bridge where everyone goes to be Sad

2 The Neighboring Tea Village

1. The tea house
2. Very Very tall staircase 
3. Mob Boss's Big House
4. Souvenir shops in town
5. Boat
6. Very Very Long Bridge that goes over Hell

3 The FOREST OF DOOM

1. Spooky caves where the gamer juice goes into the USB symbol
2. Spooky clearing of trees
3. Spooky fence!
4. The recording studio where they make the episode
5. Cleansing River that leads to a very tall waterfall
6. Big Cave full of Beeswax thats for your skin

4 The Holy Lands

1. The Church of Nart
2. A dream landscape
3. The Void
4. Hell canyon
5. The big ninja shoe in the sky (heaven)
6. A Cracked and broken field of rocks that extends as far as the eye can see

5 The Hot Springs

1. The Changing Rooms of the hot springs
2. The Mens Hot Spring
3. The Womens Hot Spring
4. The lobby part where u drink a glass of milk
5. The ping pong table in the hot springs
6. A fancy room in the resort of the hot springs 

6 St Kakashi’s HOSPITAL FOR THE WEAK BONES

1. Naruto’s hospital Room
2. Sasuke’s hospital room
3. Rock Lee’s hospital room
4. Room where The Devil summons terrible horny entities
5. Storage room for all rope and restraints they need to tie up their patience
6. Bones Room (room of bones)

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Ghost

Boy

Baby

Baby (twisted)

Costume

Fuck men (like as in we hate them)

Free Movement

War is Bad

No Kings, only Clowns

• Kate Bush created the first War Machine from which all Vape Originated
• Is kate bush orochimaru!!!!!?????
• Orutan… Uterine?????
• ….Niretu
• Out.. In,,,,, Outuran.. Naruto???
• The Reason For Sasuke’s departure from the Narrative is that he is away secretly recording his music video. 
• Katebushugan
• If he only could, Orochimaru would seek to make a deal with god and get him to switch our places
• Orochimaru had a mentor who once worked with Orochimaru in order to do warcrimes bad
• Orochimaru became powerful through said evil military experimence
• The Village hidden in The Prohibited Zone
• You Get Heartburn if you believe It
• We’re The big Sky
• Orochimaru will become god and go to live in the moon

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1. Broccoli looks like a dork but is actually cold with it 
2. Naruto is unequipped to be around children 
3. Prisons shoul DBE abolished BUT naruto needs to go to jail
4. Capitalist chaos is naruto- oturan is smooth socialism
5. WHEN THE DEVIL COAXES YOU INTO A SNAFU YOU LOSE ALL YOUR SKILLS AND S=IT SEEMS OTURAN HAVE ABANDONED YOU 
6. POWER MAKES YOU INTO A PIECE OF SHIT. DESPICABLE 
7. NARUTO SAYS LET THEM EAT CAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!  GUILLOUTINE?
8. But there are good leaders!!! JUST NOT NARUTO
9. NARUTO IS JUST A BAD PERSON
10. QHWN YOU FEEL THE LACK OF OR=TURAN YOU CAN ALWAYS TURN TOWARDS SONIC
11. SCIENCE IS EMBARRASSING AND CAN LEAD YOU TO ACHIEVE PURE HORNINESS, THE GOOD KIND.  
12. NARUTO PROBABLY SMOKES
13. You die immediately if you’re horny your face explodes in blood

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1 GAYnin

1. Fated Rivals
2. Weak Boned and their Supportive Pillar
3. Secretly Crushing and their Indifferent Crush
4. THE BETRAYED ONE and the betrayer
5. TWO PEOPLE WHO WILL NEVER NOT BE FRIENDS
6. Ninja and Animal Companion

2 Student-Mentor

1. Mysterious teacher and dedicated student
2. Hokage and son
3. Big Brother Little Brother
4. Spiritual leader and member of the flock
5. Villain and acolyte
6. Truck carried on the back of another truck

3 GAMEine

1. Crime boss and assistant
2. Feuding crime family members
3. Rogue ninjas (the bad ones)
4. Delinquent kids
5. Henchmen in arms
6. Bone Heretic and Man o’ Bones

4 The Church of Oturan

1. Ambassadors of Oturan (street preachers)
2. Chosen one and sceptic
3. Doubtful Converts
4. Hardcore believers 
5. Repenting and unrepenting sinners
6. BRINGER & DESTROYER OF LIFE
7. Masashi Kishimoto and those he attempts to Touch

5 The Past

1. Shared trauma!
2. Tied together by revenge
3. Not sure where they remember each other from
4. Your dads know each other
5. One betrayed the other
6. One saved the other

6 Knowledge

1. One is withholding the secret of the Nina Way from the other
2. Sharing the truth of Oturan
3. Thou hast seen too much…
4. One is concealing something from the other.
5. No one can find out about the time you both…
6. One of you has the Braincell

NEEDS

1 To Learn

1. ... Why your shoes are Like That
2. ... What everyone is hiding from you
3. ... What is Naruto?
4. ... How to gain power
5. ... The Teachings of Oturan
6. ... Who YOU really are?????

2 To Escape

1. ... The lies you have been told
2. ... Your False Name
3. ... From your life of crime
4. ... From the cycle of life and death
5. ... Your dark past... 
6. … From HELL

3 To Protect 

1. ... your FRIENDS
2. ... the memory of your parents
3. ... the weak of bones
4. ... the RIGHTS OF THE PROLETARIAT
5. ... everyone's immortal souls
6. ... yourself from CURSED AND UNHOLY ACTS

4 To Serve

1. ... Your village, the leaf village I guess?
2. ...  Yourself and nothing else!
3. ... Oturan, praise him
4. ... ramen, at your ramen shop, delicious
5. ... looks, at all times. Im talkin fashion baby
6. … Justice, at all costs 

5 To DESTROY

1. ... CAPITALISM
2. ... SINNERS
3. ... GRAVITY
4. ... THE LIVES OF THOSE WHO CAME BEFORE YOU
5. ... AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE
6. ... nothing at all :-)

6 To Make Friends

1. ... with your enemies
2. ... with everyone!
3. ... so you can gain POWER!
4. ... with OTURAN HIMSELF
5. ... like any friends, at all. even just one single friend.
6. ... so that you can become a GAYnin

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TENENTS:

1. you can shit but shidding and farding humour is not ALLOWED we dont LIKE it
2. Shidding is how you expel sin from your body????
3. Narto was farto- DO NOT
4. smiling serenely It was a complete failure!
5. One is born respecting women and you must work hard all of your life to avoid losing your respecting women juice BUT you can regain it once you exorcise the evil influences from your life
6. We are all born clothed (in the love or oturan, in women respecting juice)
7. This is praxis 
8. The nose is the window to the soul if you look up the nose you see the soul and all is laid bare
9. Atanih is ETERNAL we worship her strength. Hinata is at one with her godhood

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Tenents of Episode 26:

1. Naruto died in the land of birds he has been dead for a long time
2. The devil died for gay love (its just love but they happened to be gay)- are we sure the devil is bad?
3. Evil is a human trait, the devil is a cosmic force beyond evil. Lady tsunade embodies capitalism which is an evil human force.
4. The devil is the ocean from which the rivers of evil flow forth.
5. Even after we are dead we still have a message to send and we can send that message through podcasting
6. Are we dead?
7. We live as this podcast records and we die as it ends WE KNOW WE ARE IN A SHOW AND WE PROGRESS OUR LIVES THROUGH PODCAST EPSIODES
8. We have to stop recording to find out
9. THE FIRST LINE ON NARUTO’S FACE IS KAKASHI THE SECOND IS SMOKIN JONNY
10. IT IS MARBELLOUS
11. SIX LINES, THREE FRIENDS, NINE GENDERS. 18 FOLD PATH

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EVERYTHING IS FINE. THE PODCAST IS DOING GREAT. NOTHING IS SICK. TIME IS REAL. WE ARE GOING TO LIVE FOREVER. CAN’T YOU FEEL MY HEART BEAT FAST? DON’T STOP LISTENING. DON’T STOP NOT BELIEVING IT.

27- 2 sasuke will never fuck and he is a unicorn 27- 3 kurama is a pumpkin 27- 4 the drawings were moving 27- 5 oturan says unionise 27- 6 naruto’s spectral form is a swan 27- 7 DONT forget about the moon 27- 8 you need to go to the warm place for your agonies (hot spring) 27- 9 strong feet pressure is harmful for self esteem pensive emoji its ok to keep your sandals on 27- 10 oturan’s principles extend to the show’s production itself, His influence is wide 27- 11 do NOT separate them 27- 12 unicorns are real and it’s impossible to draw them, only photos 27- 13 narutoturan 27-14 No Murders (yet) 27-15 maybe a little murder as a treat

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• Yeah?
• Yeah! yeah, yeah
• Ray?
• No you go first
• No, I don't think so actually
• NEVER BELIEVE IT
• Mhm mhm
• Hold on I gotta blow my nose
• Hm sorry I wasn't paying attention
• Hey Riley
• Guys I'm right here
• CONFESS
• [laughing]

Riley:

• Yeah?
• TWO
• That's interesting, what do you think about that Sarah?
• That's interesting, what do you think about that Ray?
• [sigh] yeah.
• [Sad]no...
• Hi My Name is Riley Hopkins my pronouns are he and they and I will NEVER believe it
• NEVER BELIEVE IT
• Yes!
• No!
• But what do you think this says about friendship?
• This is a serious podcast about the nature of truth
• Sarah?
• Riley?
• Rev like reverend rye like rye
• Ray?
• O...Tu... Ran....
• HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
• I'm right here, stop talking about me like im not right here
• Please ignore what i just said.
• I wish I was really here
• THE DEVIL#
• Hmm. I'm not sure what I think of that
• Bread.

Ray

• Yes!
• Yeah
• I'd really like to hear more about that
• Wow
• Why dso we bash narutoes
• What do you think that means
• What did you think the episode was about?
• We're all really here
• Watch out for those toesies
• Vile
• Vile
• Vile
• Vile
• This is antipodcasting
• This is a serious podcast
• so what do you think this episode was about?
• Sasuke and Naruto will always be friends prove me wrong
• Hi my name is Ray, my pronouns are they and them and I, will never believe it.
• Okay!
• Okay?
• No, I'm the real riley hopkins
• No
• Never believe it!
• NEVER BELIEVE IT
• Naruto has a son called Burrito
• Hahahahahahahaha
• mhm
• Lets all join hands
• MhmhmhmhmHmHmHm - Dumb.
• It's good to me
• It's called calciYUM, not CalciYuck
• I'm Riley Hopkins
• I'm definitely real for sure 100%
• I'm a genuis you're a genuis
• I will never Game
• I want to talk about shmokin johnny
• I don't like to see it no thank you
• I didn't hear that what?
• Hideos to my eyes
• Good podcast everybody
• Friendship sucks shit
• Disgusting
• Confess
• CONFESS
• but what do you think it means though?
• Bout to Bust a Nart
• are you the real riley hopkins
• Am I pretend are you pretend?

Colin

• so how's everone feeling about this new pokemon?
• ha ha ha ha
• I'm gonna guess everybody's gone? nobody can hear me?

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1. You think something is one thing and then its bees
2. Bees are everything protect the bees
3. Hinata gets her power from bread it helps with her anemia and makes her strong. If you eat bread you will be strong unless you have a wheat allergy
4. Sometimes self care is doing things you don’t want to do
5. Bees are communists and our friends
6. To save the world we must befriend the bees and the communists
7. ORGANISERS not COPS- cops are the natural enemies of bees
8. IN ORDER TO SAVE THE BEES WE HAVE TO ABOLISH AND PROSECUTE THE POLICE

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WE'RE NOT A CULT!!!!

Oh, you don't believe us??!!! Well then maybe you'll believe the really cool and funny podcaster TIM BATT from the really cool and funny podcast The Worst Idea of All Time!!!! He's here and He Said So

1. Can’t spell CUultrural pohenominin without cult
2. Sasuke is the little girl at the end stirring the hot pot at the end and gets bashed with a spoon
3. Samarasuke
4. SILICA IS FOR BONE PROTECTION- glass replace bones
5. The opposite of a human is a gas ghost
6. If you eat smart people’s brains you gain their intellect. If u eat human emotions you gain the human motions in your body
7. The curry of life contains mountain dew, mercury, glass, gamer tears and HUMAN EMOTIONs
8. You have to respect funerals
9. The old Lady is an enemy of Small Business
10. Neji Is Allergic To Life
11. Never Believe it Podcast is almost Certainly Not A Cult Im Winking

Tim's Twitter | Jamie's Twitter | Podcast Twitter

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its jamie

its twitter

1. Sasuke has an alternate Self called Sadsuke
2. Sadsuke is, unfortunately, a Gamer
3. Mechahasakurage
4. Naruto and evangelion are Filmed on The Same Lot
5. Sasuke is the weakest truck, he is carried upon the back of naruto who is carries on the strong 96 back of

Tenets:

1. BONE HERESY is when you are exploit the power of bonelessness and do not follow Oturan
2. GAMEine are Ninja’s of LONELINESS and being FUCKING LOSERS. They can only be defeated by friendship
3. DO NOT TOUCH US KISHIMOTOe
4. onE DAY SMOKIN JOHNNY WILL APPEAR TO US AND REVEAL THE FULL TRUTH OF THE UNIVERSE
5. Tail is another word for GENDER and THATS ALL.

Thank you Colin for guesting on the episode! Take a Walk with them

Share them with us at narutohead.band!

1. Never skip feet and hand day
2. Shoes are Holy; they cover and protecc the feets. If you donot wear shoes you are a SINNER and you will be punished
3. The Three are within the one
4. There are many withing the one
5. Naruto has 9 genders: Oturan, Naruto, Horny naruto, Bandless Naruto, Anger, B O N E L E S S , Collective Action. Naruto’s 7th gender is Friendship. Illegal Ramen, Toes.

Jamie

1. Orochivapours
2. AVAD
3. Frog is Tetsuya Nomura
4. Sasuke’s not dead he is suffering the worst possible fate a person can suffer - the rejection of friendship

6.1 Tsunade surgically removede the hortny part of Naruto in order to SUMMON Jiraya(thee evil one) from HELL itself. 6.2 Bonelses Sasuke 6.3 Sasuke and Naruto will NEVER not be friends 6.4 HornyNaturo is a necessary evil that allows teh rest of humanity to be free from sin 6.5 What if naruto woke up in the hospital with less bones and he said wheres sasuke and the doctor came in and said who do you think kissed you and took away all your bones like if you cry everytime 6.6 Boingy boingy boingy boimngy boing 6.7 Sin is stored in the bones WHAT IFYOU WANTED TO GO TO HEAVEN BUT GOD SAID NO YOU HAVE BONES

5.18 Kssng s fr Bn Prtctin: ClciYUM, nt CalcYUCK

5.19 IS hll s th cncpt f Etrnty? Y*s

5.20 Rspct Whls!!!!!!!!!!!only fw lft!!!!!

5.21 Ths s th nd

this is music

The:

5.7 - Sakura hgas aq big jet plane that turns into a big robit 5.8 - KNUCKLES IS NARUTO BECAUSE HE HAS FROSTED TIPS 5.9 - oTURAN IS OUR friend 5.10 - yOU To CAN BE A GAYnin - WHIOCH IS A NINJA OF FRIENDSHIP 5.11 - Naruto's greatedt weaknes is acupunctute
5.12 - Power iz stored in the TOES 5.13 - The NINJA SHOES are the measure of our souls 5.14 - Sonic movie good

3:1 Lady Tsunade is the Devil. 3:2 The Two Are Within the One. 3:3 That which once was shall no longer Be 3:4 The true and holy message of The Last Jedi is to watch Naruto filler. 3:5 If you are willing to purge yourself of the sinner’s juice, then you too can be free

Music | Andrew

1. They’re aware that they’re in a show and can only progress their lives using cassette tapes
2. Kakashi is hot

Tenents establised this episode:

1. Animals speak in human voice, uttering only the onomatopeic noises that they have been assigned
2. If You Are Horny You Will Die: beware of being consumed by your wants, for thus, you will be the creator of your own hell. RIP the white haired man in episode 97. Volcel anime confirmed.
3. Comrade Naruto - “stop hoarding wealth you bourgeouis fuck! Hypocrite that you are”.
4. Naruto: Smart and Sensible boy, a Master of Tricks. His TRUE appearance is that of a bowlcut and a white bathrobe.
5. Oturan has seen our work and sent a vision of himself unto us; he recognises our path as virtuous and commands that we follow him.

• Reality distortion
• Religious themes
• Loud/sudden noises, glitchy stuff
• Death, existentialism
• "Musical Comedy"

We make this show intentionally difficult in its delivery (some are calling it anti-podcasting), but try to keep the actual content inside relatively wholesome

We also want to affirm that each episode is recorded with safety tools in place, and that any antagonism displayed between hosts (and guests) is done with fully communicated consent. What you hear may be complete chaos, but we DO take care of each other before and after recording, so Never Believe It!