Paper News Out Loud

Ep. 35 Weirden Your Horizons

Wed, 30 Jan 2019 15:24:47 -0000

If you don’t wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy. If you don’t rise and shine. If you would rather burrow deep into your bed until the sheets attach to your skin, this episode is for you. Learn the proud history of the American breakfast from notorious breakfast lover Diane, followed by reviews of products to make your morning more delightful. Then our podcasters help a distressed morning diva find peace in coffee. This is Paper News Out Loud.

A big ole thank you to all who submitted product ads:

Sammy (@SammyMadafiglio) from Queer Dungeoneers (@QueerDungeons)

Kyle (@KyleTheTurner) from The M Word (@mwordpod)

Crispysteve (@Crispysteve42)

Headline: https://priceonomics.com/how-breakfast-became-a-thing/ https://www.mashed.com/131396/5-things-you-should-eat-for-breakfast-and-5-you-should-always-avoid/

Products: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00E5LEQVE/ref=as_li_ss_tl?&ascsub&linkCode=sl1&tag=bfmaitland-20&linkId=450de12312ef5cb3cc720591289ecdf8 https://www.amazon.com/Hoan-Bagel-Guillotine-Slicer-White/dp/B000HS7JPY/ref=as_li_ss_tl?s=kitchen&ie=UTF8&qid=1472222902&sr=1-1&keywords=bagel+slicer&linkCode=sl1&tag=bfmaitland-20&linkId=bb25a96f6e411f809cac0dbd559a6602 https://news.dunkindonuts.com/file?fid=56afcab0acae6e374ce05291

Wikihow: https://www.wikihow.com/Make-Perfect-Coffee

Music by Jake Harrison: https://soundcloud.com/atthisbeats

Look at our website with them eyeballs: https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/

And check our the home of our network: https://almostbetter.net/ If you’re lucky, you’ll develop all the psychic powers!

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Ep. 34 The Solstice Is Nigh

Fri, 21 Dec 2018 06:02:39 -0000

If four horsemen herald the apocalypse, who heralds the winter solstice? That’s right, it’s Florence and Diane. Armed with t-shirt cannons filled to the brim with confetti, hearts full of love, and eyes devoid of pupils, they’ve come knocking on your podcatcher to spread the joy of the solstice. Florence gives you a glimpse of what to expect during the solstice, they cuddle you by the yule log to lull you to sleep with a solstice tale, and Diane helps a listener get the best legal photos of the moon the world has ever seen. This is Paper News Out Loud.

Headline: https://earthsky.org/astronomy-essentials/everything-you-need-to-know-december-solstice

Wikihow: https://www.wikihow.com/Photograph-the-Moon

Music by Jake Harrison: https://soundcloud.com/atthisbeats

Look at our website with them eyeballs: https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/

And check our the home of our network: https://almostbetter.net/ If you’re lucky, you’ll develop all the psychic powers!

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Ep. 33 The Gift That Keeps Giving: Leftovers

Thu, 20 Dec 2018 03:18:35 -0000

What has two heads and gobbles? Florence and Diane in this week’s post-Thanksgiving episode. Florence answers the big question, “Where did leftovers come from?” while Diane helps a helpless listener fix their cleaning conundrum. A little late for Black Friday, a fresh new stack of classifieds is coming our way. This is Paper News Out Loud.

Headline: https://www.history.com/news/the-curious-history-of-leftovers

Wikihow: https://www.wikihow.com/Clean-Your-House-After-a-Wild-Party

Music by Jake Harrison: https://soundcloud.com/atthisbeats

Look at our website with them eyeballs: https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/

And check our the home of our network: https://almostbetter.net/ If you’re lucky, you’ll develop all the psychic powers!

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Ep. 32 One More Halloween Spooktacular

Wed, 31 Oct 2018 10:00:00 -0000

Bubble, bubble Diane’s in trouble. It’s Florence’s turn to Maggie cuddle. Happy Halloween from Paper News Out Loud! Only treats from our podcasters today. From the history of jack o’ lanterns to a spooky story to a very thorough walkthrough of proper carving techniques, you’re going to be in a sugar coma before you know it. This is Paper News Out Loud.

Headline: https://www.history.com/topics/halloween/jack-olantern-history

Wikihow: https://www.wikihow.com/Trick-or-Treat-Safely

Music by Jake Harrison: https://soundcloud.com/atthisbeats

Look at our website with them eyeballs: https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/

And check our the home of our network: https://almostbetter.net/ If you’re lucky, you’ll develop all the psychic powers!

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Ep. 31 I Write Recipes Not Tragedies

Wed, 17 Oct 2018 23:07:14 -0000

At night when no one else can hear, Diane sings. She sings for gooey, delicious, warm chocolate chip cookies to appear in front of her. When they don’t, she weeps. In this week’s episode, back and better than ever, Diane teaches us about the proud history of chocolate chip cookies. Then Florence reveals to a listener what the secret sauce is to making your own recipes after our podcasters check the classifieds. This is Paper News Out Loud.

Headline: https://www.businessinsider.com/the-chocolate-chip-cookie-was-invented-by-accident-2013-3

Wikihow: https://www.wikihow.com/Make-Your-Own-Recipe

Music by Jake Harrison: https://soundcloud.com/atthisbeats

Look at our website with them eyeballs: https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/

And check our the home of our network: https://almostbetter.net/ If you’re lucky, you’ll develop all the psychic powers!

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Ep. 30 Close Encounters with Mars and Meal Prepping

Wed, 08 Aug 2018 20:01:28 -0000

Once upon a time, Mars loved Earth so much that they just couldn’t stay away any longer. They moved closer and closer until they gently crashed into the blue planet and destroyed all the life on it. Diane takes us on an intergalactic journey through the mind of Mars and why it is just so darn close. Then our podcasters help us pack and prepare for our trip to the Red Planet. And finally, Florence helps a listener who needs a little help packing lunch. This is Paper News Out Loud.

Headline: https://mars.nasa.gov/allaboutmars/nightsky/mars-close-approach/ Wikihow: https://www.wikihow.com/Plan-Weekly-Meals Music by Jake Harrison: https://soundcloud.com/atthisbeats Look at our website with them eyeballs: https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/

And check our the home of our network: https://almostbetter.net/ If you’re lucky, you’ll develop all the psychic powers!

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Ep. 29 Flower Lemon Mango Power (and puppies)

Thu, 26 Jul 2018 01:58:01 -0000

In an alternate reality, M&Ms are called A&As. That reality is terrible and people who live there are sad. Florence teaches us about where our favorite candy brands (probably) got their names. Then Diane helps out a lonely listener who just wants a little puppy to love, but before that, our favorite podcasters teach us a delicious and tasty recipe. This is Paper News Out Loud.

Headline: Http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2010/05/what-the-ms-stand-for-in-mms/ https://www.leaf.tv/articles/the-history-of-the-3-musketeers-candy-bar/ https://www.rewindandcapture.com/why-is-skittles-called-skittles/ https://www.thefactsite.com/2016/01/skittles-history-and-facts.html Wikihow: https://www.wikihow.com/Love-Your-Puppy Music by Jake Harrison: https://soundcloud.com/atthisbeats Look at our website with them eyeballs: https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/

And check our the home of our network: https://almostbetter.net/ If you’re lucky, you’ll develop all the psychic powers!

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Ep. 28 Breaking! All! The! Records!

Thu, 12 Jul 2018 02:02:27 -0000

Guess which podcast just broke the world record for being the most informative podcast?!? Yeah, it wasn’t ours. Probably something put out there by NPR. Anyways, this week Florence teaches us all what we need to know about the Guinness Book of World Records and then some of the whackiest records out there. Then our podcasters bring storytime back again with the tale of a desert and a Tahoe. Finally, Diane gives us tips and tricks about how to break a world record of our own. This is Paper News Out Loud.

Headline: http://www.businessinsider.com/weirdest-world-records-2015-5 https://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/60/through_the_years.html

Wikihow: https://www.wikihow.com/Get-Into-the-Guinness-Book-of-World-Records

Music by Jake Harrison: https://soundcloud.com/atthisbeats

Look at our website with them eyeballs: https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/

And check our the home of our new network: https://almostbetter.net/ If you’re lucky, you’ll develop all the psychic powers!

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Ep. 27 The Galactic Naming Committee Presents...

Wed, 27 Jun 2018 11:18:13 -0000

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s Florence and Diane! Our favorite podcasters return after temporarily being lost in time and space with a whole new fount of knowledge to share with their best friends (you all). Diane explains the complicated mechanics of how plane work, and then reveals to us the long awaited results of The Galactic Naming Committee’s movement to rename the moon. We hear all the latest classifieds that were posted in the alley and Florence helps out a listener who is born to rule. This is Paper News Out Loud.

Headline: https://www.explainthatstuff.com/howplaneswork.html Wikihow: https://www.wikihow.com/Become-Prom-Queen Music by Jake Harrison: https://soundcloud.com/atthisbeats Look at our website with them eyeballs: https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/

And check our the home of our new network: https://almostbetter.net/ If you’re lucky, you’ll develop all the psychic powers!

Send us your feedback online: https://pinecast.com/feedback/paper-news-out-loud/93ad5b88-36f6-41fb-a0b1-acbdb4622ec9

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Ep. 26 Ghost Ecology

Tue, 29 May 2018 16:23:51 -0000

The actual spooky thing about mountains is how they can read your thoughts, anticipate your every move, and remove you from existence at the snap of their rocky fingers. Maybe ghosts are the things to be scared of in this place. Our podcasters haunt our nightmares with some scary stories from the mountains and beyond. Diane teaches us that the sun is more than just a friendly fireball in the sky. And lastly, Florence helps a ghost who just doesn’t want to encounter other ghosts. This is Paper News Out Loud.

Headline: http://mentalfloss.com/article/75567/ghost-stories-worlds-tallest-peaks Wikihow: https://www.wikihow.com/Avoid-Encounters-With-Ghosts-and-the-Paranormal

Music by Jake Harrison: https://soundcloud.com/atthisbeats

Look at our website with them eyeballs: https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/

And check our the home of our new network: https://almostbetter.net/ If you’re lucky, you’ll develop all the psychic powers!

Send us your feedback online: https://pinecast.com/feedback/paper-news-out-loud/16d19964-fa94-4d00-8676-f5e363263723

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Ep. 25 Stars and Death: That's All Space Has to Offer

Thu, 17 May 2018 03:49:32 -0000

Humans allegedly swallow an average eight spiders while sleeping. More alarming, spiders swallow on average eight planets in one sitting when they grow to their full strength. Florence weaves us a web of space conspiracy theories. A very special (slightly deceased) guest joins our podcasters for an interview. And Diane has a trick or two up her sleeve on how to keep those nasty, eight-legged friends out of your home. This is Paper News Out Loud.

Look at our website with them eyeballs: https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/

And check our the home of our network: https://almostbetter.net/ If you’re lucky, you’ll develop all the psychic powers!

Headline: https://science.howstuffworks.com/space-conspiracy-theory6.htm

https://www.buzzfeed.com/hilarywardle/in-space-only-italian-radio-operators-can-hear-you-scream?utm_term=.laAA1GYWKK#.vwk0z7PQvv

Interview: https://www.britannica.com/biography/Anne-Bonny

http://www.zimbio.com/quiz/CKvWoP5M9Bf/What+s+Your+Pirate+Name

Wikihow: https://www.wikihow.com/Keep-Spiders-Out-of-Your-House

Music by Jake Harrison: https://soundcloud.com/atthisbeats

This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

Ep. 24 Social Scrolling Through Fitbit Betrayal

Wed, 02 May 2018 04:15:19 -0000

This episode is dedicated to Wanda, the committed FBI agent assigned to monitor Diane’s activity. Wanda - You’ve been there for us through thick and thin, from inside our phone cameras to the very FitBit on our wrists. Thank you for your years of service. In this episode, Diane enlightens us to how technology is the new Big Brother. Several fresh classified ads blow this way. And Florence helps a listener who just can’t say no to social media. This is Paper News Out Loud.

Headline: [Ways Your Technology is Already Spying on You] (http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-03-08/ways-your-technology-is-already-spying-on-you/8334960)

Wikihow: [Take a Break From Social Media] (https://www.wikihow.com/Take-a-Break-from-Social-Media)

Music by Jake Harrison: [AtthisBeats] (https://soundcloud.com/atthisbeats)

[Look at our website with them eyeballs] (https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/)

And check our the home of our new network: [Almost Better Network] (https://almostbetter.net/) If you’re lucky, you’ll develop all the psychic powers!

This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

Ep. 23 A Farmer's Market Renaissance Under I-80

Tue, 17 Apr 2018 23:53:42 -0000

Clip this coupon and save 60% on your next podcast listen. Don’t forget to check out our other weekly deals! Florence teaches us about the revival of the farmers’ market. Our podcasters take us on ear-pleasing journey with this week’s community art. And finally, Diane helps out a consumer who’s hitting the grocery store too often. This is Paper News Out Loud.

Headline: [https://www.usda.gov/media/blog/2013/08/7/meet-me-market-evolution-farmers-market] Community art: Why thank you, Rebecca! :[//www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/farmers-markets-68235529/] Wikihow: [https://www.wikihow.com/Save-Money-by-Shopping-Once-a-Month] Music by Jake Harrison: [https://soundcloud.com/atthisbeats] Look at our website with them eyeballs: [https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/]

And check our the home of our new network: [https://almostbetter.net/] If you’re lucky, you’ll develop all the psychic powers!

This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

Ep. 22 Marshmallow Spring

Wed, 04 Apr 2018 22:23:32 -0000

Spring has sprung, and we couldn’t be happier! Complete with bunnies and marshmallows and Peeps, oh my! Florence brings the proud history of marshmallows and rabbits to light. Want to see Peep jousting? Check it out here: https://youtu.be/nMmyQF35e8U Or more of a Peep Show kind of listener? Here’s the 2018 winners: https://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/arts/article/20997575/peep-thrills-the-winners-of-the-2018-peeps-diorama-contest Then our podcasters help someone in a sticky, dyeing related situation. Finally, the newscasters share how they get ready for spring. This is Paper News Out Loud.

Ep. 21 Living a Lie: The Blue Moon Chronicles

Tue, 27 Mar 2018 20:47:28 -0000

A hug a day keeps the doctor and possibly demented spirits away! Diane teaches us some healthy tips and tricks. The podcasters read off the latest and greatest classified postings in the alley. Diane takes us away from our troubles and up into the skies for this week’s Adventure in Astronomy. BONUS: A friend submits a tasty recipe that is perfect for any birthday party. This is Paper News Out Loud.

Headline: https://brainfodder.org/science-of-hugging/

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/267290.php

https://health.usnews.com/health-news/he [...]

Ep. 20 Fitness Frenzy: Engage Your Core

Tue, 20 Mar 2018 10:27:14 -0000

At the end of the episode, we discover that our sweat was actually tears the whole time. That’s because this is our special edition fitness episode! Florence and Diane teach us why exercise and nutrition are important. Our podcasters walk us through a grueling workout. And finally, they remind us to exercise all parts of our bodies. Don’t forget to breathe. Lift from your legs. This Paper News Out Loud.

Headline:http://www.healthdiscovery.net/articles/exercise_importa.htm

Wikihow: https://www.wikihow.com/Exercise-Your-Eyes

Music by Jake Harrison:

Ep. 19 Kicking Ass and Naming Stars

Tue, 13 Mar 2018 11:59:54 -0000

Watch the skies, traveler, for the contributions of women are visible in the stars. Diane starts us off by celebrating just a few of the many women who have contributed to scientific discoveries. Then our hosts analyze last week’s planet parade and share their take on the top contestants. Florence takes a listener on a smell journey through some tried and true ways to smell your best. This is Paper News Out Loud.

Knowledge for this episode provided by the following:

Headline:https://www.biography.com/people/mae-c-jemison-9542378

https://www.space.com/17439-caroline-herschel.html

Ep. 18 Botanical Bricks and Classified Kissing Tips

Tue, 06 Mar 2018 13:39:38 -0000

And to that I say, LEGO of the past and move into the future where toys are plant-based and life is good. Florence shares some exciting information about the LEGO Company’s plans for the future. Both our podcasters read through some recently posted classified ads. And Diane has more kissing tips than Cosmo magazine! This is Paper News Out Loud.

Knowledge for this episode provided by the following:

Headline:http://www.iflscience.com/environment/lego-will-launch-the-companys-first-sustainable-bricks-later-this-year/

https://www.lego.com/en-us/aboutus/lego-group/the_lego_history

Ep. 17 Baby Shampoo is Made from What Now?

Tue, 27 Feb 2018 13:05:22 -0000

I scream. You scream. We all scream. For ice cream fun facts provided to you from your favorite podcast provider! Diane takes us on a journey through ice cream sandwiches’ brave past only to find the secret ingredient was love the whole time. Our hosts introduce you to a jazzy new word to bring to any conversation. And Florence has the hottest hair tips for a listener who’s having trouble with a possessed doll. This is Paper News Out Loud.

Knowledge for this episode provided by the following:

Headline: http://bravetart.com/blog/WhoIsJerryNewberg

http://www.5280burgerbar.com/sweet-history-ice-cream-sandwich/

Ep. 16 Captivated by Youth and Aliens: An Insurance Guide

Tue, 20 Feb 2018 14:18:45 -0000

When the moon hits your eye like a big alien wayside, that’s amore. Doesn’t quite have the same ring to it… Florence teaches us about alien abductions throughout the last century and both newscasters provide helpful information about what is being done to stop further abductions. And Diane teaches all of us that looking youthful is right in our grasp. With the proper alchemy ingredients, that is. This is Paper News Out Loud.

Knowledge for this episode provided by the following:

Headline: https://science.howstuffworks.com/space/aliens-ufos/alien-abduction.htm

https://www.geico.com/more/saving/insurance-1 [...]

Ep. 15 Ritual Galentine’s Card Making

Tue, 13 Feb 2018 12:35:56 -0000

Date Idea: Snuggle up on the comfiest surface in your home, crack open a bottle of grape soda and pour into two receptacles for drinking (maybe flower pots), and drift away into the soothing tones of your favorite podcast. Perhaps this podcast? Florence pulls at our heartstrings with the history of Valentine’s Day. Our newscasters tell us the love story of the ages. And Diane helps out a listener who is in a crafting conundrum. This is Paper News Out Loud.

Knowledge for this episode provided by the following:

Headline: https://www.npr.org/2011/02/14/133693152/the-dark-origins-of-valentines-day

Wikihow: https://www.wikihow. [...]

Ep. 14 Midwinter Holiday Break

Tue, 06 Feb 2018 07:00:40 -0000

If you listen to Paper News Out Loud on the third Wednesday of the Month and laugh exactly seven minutes in, spring will start early. Or something like that. Diane takes us on a historical adventure through the celebration of Groundhog Day. The newscasters interview a master of snacks. And Florence helps out a poor soul who has been cursed with taking care of (duh duh duhhhhh) cast iron skillets. This is Paper News Out Loud.

Knowledge for this episode provided by the following:

Headline: http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/first-groundhog-day

http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/first-groundhog-day

Ep. 13 Ghost Pepper Pudding Festival

Tue, 30 Jan 2018 09:00:00 -0000

What’s blue and red and whispers tales of doom in our ears between breaths all over? It’s the moon, of course! Florence educates us on an upcoming astronomical event. The newscasters get soothed by the sweet sound and smell of the latest community art submission. And Diane knows a thing or two about haunted produce. This is Paper News Out Loud.

View Community Art at https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/community-art/. Big thanks to Aeymn for his great submission! Check him out on Twitter at @aeymn or take a listen to his podcast But Yeah!

Knowledge for this episode provided by the following:

Headlin [...]

Ep. 12 Amazon Go to the Store

Tue, 23 Jan 2018 10:40:55 -0000

Lettuce take you on the shopping journey of your leaf. Diane brings up to speed on this modern era’s latest and greatest in shopping technology. The newscasters admire the fluff on today’s critter in pet corner. And they receive a letter from a dreamer in love looking for a few romance tips and some help lucid dreaming. This is Paper News Out Loud.

Knowledge for this episode provided by the following:

Headline: https://www.recode.net/2018/1/21/16914188/amazon-go-grocery-convenience-store-opening-seattle-dilip-kumar https://

Ep. 11 Candles Can Be Made Out of Anything (Citation Needed)

Tue, 16 Jan 2018 08:10:30 -0000

What burns longer: a red candle or a green candle? Neither! They both burn shorter. Florence guides us on an illuminating journey through the history of candles. Our newscaster oh and ah over our first submission to community art. A scary story chills our bones, and APA is not match for Diane’s extensive citation knowledge. This is Paper News Out Loud.

View Community Art at https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/community-art/

Big thanks to Miki for her great submissions!

Knowledge for this episode provided by the following:

Headline: http://candles.org/history/

Ep. 10 Hello, 2018 and Trolls!

Tue, 09 Jan 2018 09:45:52 -0000

We watched the sun rise on a new year. Hello, 2018! And what did we see? Trolls. Florence explains how we got our favorite phalange protectors. Our newscasting ladies try out a tasty new recipe. Diane guides us through time and space and disappearing planets. And both help out a friend looking for a new gig. This is Paper News Out Loud.

Knowledge for this episode provided by the following:

Headline: https://www.livescience.com/32472-why-do-we-have-fingernails.html

Recipe: https://www.incredibleegg.org/cooking-school/egg-cookery/make-an-omelet

Wikihow:

Ep. 9 Goodbye, 2017!

Tue, 02 Jan 2018 09:57:59 -0000

5…4…3…2…1 HAPPY NEW YEAR! Can’t wait to do this again in March. Florence shares some fun facts about our end of the year traditions. Both reminisce on the good times they had in 2017. And both know that they will stop going to the gym in two weeks. Our New Year’s resolution? To never record an episode that late at night again. This is Paper News Out Loud.

Knowledge for the episode provided by the following:

Headline: http://www.history.com/topics/holidays/new-years

Wikihow: https://www.wikihow.com/Accomplish-Your-New-Year%27s-Resolutions

Music by Jake Harrison: https://soundcloud.com/atthi [...]

Ep. 8 Santa Tells All

Tue, 26 Dec 2017 20:17:00 -0000

Have a holly, jolly podcast! Everyone’s favorite not-quite human guest stars on the show. No, not Bob Barker. It’s Santa Claus! And she has a lot of stories, secrets, and gossip to tell. Florence shares the history of her favorite holiday drink. Santa talks about basic reindeer care. And both know exactly what to do if one of your favorite holiday decorations comes to life. This is Paper News Out Loud.

Happy holidays from all of us at Alternate Reality Productions! Thanks for listening. We’ll see you next year!

Knowledge for the episode provided by the following:

Headline:http://time.com/3957265/history-of-eggnog/

Wikihow:

Ep. 7 Snoplops in Retrograde

Tue, 19 Dec 2017 09:36:38 -0000

Shakespeare was actually an alligator who dressed up as a man to write plays and sonnets. At least that’s how the stories go. As of late, Diane has been eating a lot of insects and sleeping curled up under a heat lamp. Florence investigates further. Diane blurs the lines between astronomy and astrology. And both prove that they could have their own reality television show called Snoplop Whisperers. This is Paper News Out Loud.

Knowledge for the episode provided by the following:

Headline: The Reptilian Elite

Adventures in Astronomy

Ep. 6 Good Ole Flesh Bodies

Tue, 12 Dec 2017 08:00:56 -0000

You think you hear a chair creaking? That’s not a chair creaking. That’s just a recording of a chair creaking. Florence debates whether ingesting parasites is the way to go to slim down for swimsuit season. Diane ponders what style of hat she would like to put on her new seal friend. And both wonder why they have so many empty wine bottles and what they should do with them. This is Paper News Out Loud.

Knowledge for the episode provided by the following:

Headline:https://www.active.com/nutrition/articles/11-weirdest-diets-in-history

Pet Corner:http://www.monachus-guardian.org/factfiles/carib0 [...]

Ep. 5 Ticketmaster: We Don’t Want Your Children

Wed, 06 Dec 2017 19:28:07 -0000

Before this episode, an old wife came and whispered all her tales to our newscasters before she disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving a heaping plate of dinner and a handmade blanket behind. Florence and Diane discuss the life hacks to end all life hacks. Diane discovers a new mode of transportation, and a friendly cave troll writes the newscasters a letter, requesting help with a social event. This is Paper News Out Loud.

Knowledge for the episode provided by the following:

Headline: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/26/old-wives-tales_n_3654968.html

Pet Corner:https://www.si.edu/spotlight/passe [...]

Ep. 4 Plant Suit Riot

Wed, 06 Dec 2017 19:24:46 -0000

Want to hear a joke? Knock knock. Who’s there? Honeydew. Honeydew who? Honeydew you want to hear a garden joke! Diane teaches us all how to use plants to combat earthly pests and interdimensional space aliens. Florence wonders if one particular extinct cat could replace her beloved pet. And the newscasters learn that neither of them would make good cult leaders. This is Paper News Out Loud.

Knowledge for the episode provided by the following:

Headline: http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1zezGK/:1cfIz!QwV:t8uWEM9_/www.naturallivingideas.com/11-plants-that-repel-mosquitoes

Pet Corner:

Ep. 3 The Comfort Zone

Wed, 06 Dec 2017 19:21:13 -0000

Hello, listeners. This is your favorite online product provider. We know you. We know when you’re sleeping. We know everything about you. *static noise* Sorry about that, listeners! Looks like the internet read our cookies and knew that we would be posting today so they wanted to send you a secret message. Florence ponders how often she needs toilet paper, Diane is inspired to create a t-shirt that states, “Desert animals need help too!” And the beloved ladies lend a hand to a listener who is struggling with dishware. This is Paper News Out Loud.

Knowledge for this episode provided by the following:

Headline Story: http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/5EU1HC/:R1f0sd9Q:_8EPK [...]

Ep. 2 Pumpkin Spice Marshmallows

Wed, 06 Dec 2017 19:14:24 -0000

We love you a latte. Wait, what? Is it too soon? False, it’s never too soon for pumpkin spice lattes. Florence and Diane wish PSLs Happy Birthday, Diane still wonders if she has enough friends to sit on a giant, flightless bird, and—once again—both of our favorite newscasters share their well-practiced tips for being weird. This is Paper News Out Loud.

Knowledge for this episode provided by the following:

Headline Story: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2016/09/15/love-it-or-hate-it-pumpkin-spice-is-here-to-stay/?utm_term=.87e6adf5a93b

Ep. 1 Netflix and Chill

Wed, 06 Dec 2017 19:11:54 -0000

What do Netflix, sea cows, and layer upon layer of makeup all have in common? They’re all in this episode, of course! Florence and Diane take you on a news-venture through time and space to discover secrets about Netflix… and themselves. Florence discovers the Netflix movies of her nightmares, Diane wonders if she has enough friends to fill an entire extinct sea mammal, and both wonder if they are really the best people to be giving advice about being attractive. This is Paper News Out Loud.

Knowledge for this episode provided by the following:

Headline story: http://www.datahand.com/access-netflix-hidden-categories.html

Pet Corner: