Prime Cuts https://twitter.com/PrimeCutsPod Pinecast (https://pinecast.com) en-USAudrey and Mara Audrey and Mara noisespace.xyz@gmail.com yes Prime Cuts https://twitter.com/PrimeCutsPod https://storage.pinecast.net/podcasts/covers/449d6a78-8e7e-4405-ab58-0b7b2ceb9f43/FinalLogoSquareJpeg.jpg episodic Copyright 2026 A history of transformers television, season by nonconsecutive season, with Audrey and Mara S12E7: Bird Crimes https://pinecast.com/guid/802bce03-76cf-4561-8ef2-159823b6534e Mon, 20 Apr 2026 12:30:00 -0000 01:06:45 So she gets to be the plane, and what, I get to fuck the plane? This datatrack contains discussion of the following topics; Beta Dratchet, Wheeljack in name only, rarely seen alternate modes, unethical bird surgery, Soundwave being so cool, Bulkhead's no good very bad day, how to make an elite goon, the return of Stinky Energon, soldier bonding, cliffhangers, and rare ships.

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]]> Bird Crimes yes 12 7 S12E6: Starscream Big Guy Pants OK https://pinecast.com/guid/bff42c71-c683-46ce-b9c9-8bf80f87baab Mon, 23 Mar 2026 12:30:00 -0000 01:08:11 This week Transformers Prime begins its flirtation with simultaneous storylines with a series of four episodes all starting with the letter T. Is this finally the upswing in Starscream's arc? What does Vogel's twitter look like? The answers might surprise you. This datatrack contains discussion of the following topics; New York City, ludicrous sewer tunnels, Arcee's autism, big meaty bots slappin' metal, Starscream's dinky little scooter, and what the underground sweeper train would transform into.

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]]> Starscream Big Guy Pants OK yes 12 6 S12E5: 9/12: The Sequel To 9/11 https://pinecast.com/guid/ff73598e-f571-4a41-a674-e2ae569653f9 Mon, 16 Mar 2026 12:30:00 -0000 00:58:40 ...so all those Starscream clones for sure banged before that mission, right? This datatrack contains discussion of the following topics; Starscream's propensity for cloning, Bulkhead's willingness to kill, Megatron's eagerness to kill Starscream specifically, Airachnid being a certified FREAK to the very end, filling your car up with ketamine, self driving warships doing 9/11, who would fuck their own clone, and looking forward to an excellent arc of episodes.

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]]> 9/12: The Sequel To 9/11 yes 12 5 S12E4: Boot Boys Aren't Human https://pinecast.com/guid/d51f0ba7-560f-4599-8146-866754423e6d Mon, 09 Mar 2026 05:56:36 -0000 01:12:51 This week we cover two episodes...technically. One of them is a clip show with an epilogue to the previous episode attached to it. Look, the budget demanded it, alright? This datatrack contains discussion of the following topics; Sylas' gaming setup, Nemesis Prime as an evolving concept, Steven Spielberg's Duel, surprising Twin Peaks connections, the purpose of clip shows, the Ernie Hudson appreciation hour, and some terrible boss stories.

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]]> Boot Boys Aren't Human yes 12 4 S12E3: Go My Goon Scarabs! https://pinecast.com/guid/5f0aa96d-f584-480c-b111-dcf22d811dc7 Mon, 02 Mar 2026 13:30:00 -0000 01:30:29 Prime keeps the momentum rolling with two more episodes of action, intrigue, betrayal, and murder. RIP Breakdown, you may have been tough, but even you can't fight budgetary constraints. This datatrack contains discussion of the following topics; the late great Tony Todd, Seaspray the wrecker, Megatron being an actual menacing villain for once, Ragebaiting My Fat Breakdown Part 20 (Final), Airachnid's femdom powers, the nadir of Starscream's horrible week, and Megatron's insistence on having a weird psychosexual tension with his second in command.

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]]> Go My Goon Scarabs! yes 12 3 S12E2: Dude Where's My T-Cog? https://pinecast.com/guid/089e0965-a1d7-49cc-9003-254e6b79463c Mon, 16 Feb 2026 13:30:00 -0000 01:11:34 Prime season 2 keeps on rolling with the excellent two part story "Operation Bumblebee". Has anyone noticed that this show is pretty good? This datatrack contains discussion of the following topics; Starscream's continued slide into loserdom, well written human characters, getting your kidney stolen by Clancy Brown, team ups where nobody likes each other, Starscream's snatched waist, Optimus' hands being too big for Ratchet's insides, and the flawed disability allegories of the early 2010s.

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]]> Dude Where's My T-Cog? yes 12 2 S12E1: Amnesiac Situationship https://pinecast.com/guid/199d580e-370d-4901-a205-9a1291cb146a Mon, 09 Feb 2026 13:30:00 -0000 01:25:44 After two years of being away, we are finally returning to Jasper, Nevada. Transformers Prime season 2 kicks off with a banger of a three part premier, full of intrigue and character drama and high stakes action. You know, the stuff that didn't exist back in the 80s. This datatrack contains discussion of the following topics; Peter Cullen's performance as Orion Pax, Soundwave's aura farming capabilities, Megatron's inexpert gaslighting techniques, Optimus' love of endangering children, Starscream being pathetic while still maintaining his menace, and how nice it is to have normal human characters again.

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]]> Amnesiac Situationship yes 12 1 S11E24: It Was Peak https://pinecast.com/guid/bb2ea3db-edb0-4163-b1d7-0c370bc10860 Mon, 29 Dec 2025 23:59:22 -0000 00:57:19 As we say goodbye to the rotten year of 2025 (good riddance), we must also say goodbye to the greatest season of television ever created. G1 season 2 is an entirely unhinged, nonsensical, at times funny on purpose (but usually not) clusterfuck of a show. It is the true essence and embodiment of Reagan era toy commercial tv in all the best and worst ways. So as we dread the barbaric yearly tradition of crushing thousands of New Yorkers under the Ball, we reminisce about peak, give out some awards, and announce where this podcast's next stop is going to be.

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]]> It Was Peak yes 11 24 S11E23: argh. https://pinecast.com/guid/50aa2c15-4912-4aa5-bc52-9d2db9d61c5b Mon, 22 Dec 2025 13:30:00 -0000 01:25:23 Normally we'd say B.O.T. has to be seen to be believed, but it sucks to watch, so I guess take our word for it. This datatrack contains discussion of the following topics; cosplaying as the enemy, Starscream's high perception, ideas with no justification, the worst humans in the entire franchise, poor Combiner booking, GEARS???, and just...everything about B.O.T. Everything. Argh.

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]]> argh. yes 11 23 S11E22: Reverse Milking With The Homies https://pinecast.com/guid/19534be8-db39-4964-95b9-2b0209a47cd5 Mon, 15 Dec 2025 13:21:00 -0000 01:18:36 If you ever get fired (with cause) from your job, all you need to do is befriend five war criminals to get revenge on all who have wronged you. This Datatrack contains discussion of the following topics; The Battle of Guadalcanal, Cliffjumper's return from Vacation Island, yet more ways to make new guys, refueling via reverse milking, the Stunticons being unhelpful as usual, unrealistic space peril, Shockwave Riding Starscream HARD (Must see!!), what defines Shockwave's character, and why the Protectabots seem to be so fucking bad at their jobs.

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]]> Reverse Milking With The Homies yes 11 22 S11E21: Pearl (Harbor) Necklace https://pinecast.com/guid/f3643f11-9fe6-413d-a31d-6fea5f98ea25 Mon, 08 Dec 2025 13:16:00 -0000 01:13:11 I'm going to be frank with everyone; at least 10 minutes of this episode is dedicated to a running bit about the Aerialbots jacking off on the Statue of Liberty. I'm sorry. This datatrack contains discussion of the following; highly illegal hats, classic 80s racism, the world's fakest race, Wildrider slamming into a mountain headfirst, Starscream's gayer than usual behavior, Superion giving Lady Liberty a pearl necklace, the politics of giving an alien robot a scientific research award, Megatron's sicko interests rearing their head once more, and how much fun the Stunticons are.

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]]> Pearl (Harbor) Necklace yes 11 21 S11E20: Dump The Chumps https://pinecast.com/guid/653fcd33-7a62-4b11-8a67-d0edbcbb8698 Mon, 17 Nov 2025 13:03:00 -0000 01:35:03 THIS PODCAST IS DEDICATED TO THE BRAVE MUJAHIDEEN FIGHTERS OF AFGHANISTAN. This datatrack contains discussion of the following topics; classic 80s racism, Megatron's canny involvement in geopolitics, cars = planes, the Giant Purple Griffin, Fireflight continues to be nobody, Slingshot's problematic views, the CHRONOSPHERE, Orion Pax's weird vibes, who the fuck is Dion, time loops, Optimus' transition into a more mythic figure, and questioning how you air an episode THIS out of order.

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]]> Dump The Chumps yes 11 20 S11E19: Me Grimlock Unbaptized Baby! https://pinecast.com/guid/cc0672f4-48e9-4028-9716-d129775b6e76 Mon, 10 Nov 2025 19:55:00 -0000 01:13:31 Now look I know you THOUGHT you knew how Transformers were made, considering how they've built like 10 guys on Earth with no extra steps, but we didn't know about the big glowing god orb before. This datatrack contains discussion of the following topics; Rumble's love of car theft, Alpha Trion's continually strange vibes, Wildrider busting a nut, baby fights, how the Dinobots are doomed to limbo, putting the guy with a fear of heights in charge of plane team, and the seemingly endless march of combiners that will soon be hitting our screens.Noise Space Discord Patreon

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]]> Me Grimlock Unbaptized Baby! yes 11 19 S11E18: FEEEMALES!! https://pinecast.com/guid/7d260c36-6488-44b2-913c-b68afabd7d85 Mon, 03 Nov 2025 13:30:00 -0000 01:42:34 This week Prime Cuts is all about the ladies...and Hoist. We get our introduction to the concept of Female Autobots in their first and (for most of them) last episode, and Powerglide gets a human girlfriend. Then Hoist also does stuff. This datatrack contains discussion of the following topics; Cybertronian gender politics, how chicks seem to dig guys who are red, (shockwave voice) FEEMALES, the bizarrely incestual vibes Alpha Trion gives Prime and Elita's relationship, the dumbest girl in the world, Conehead antics, 50s style romcom tropes, how Astoria can do better, making movies, vehicular robots, flesh eating lava, and maybe the stupidest plans the Decepticons have ever come up with.

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]]> FEEEMALES!! yes 11 18 S11E17: Panic! At the Dancitron https://pinecast.com/guid/bbb897b9-9248-4a8b-ac2c-254e920fc857 Mon, 13 Oct 2025 12:30:00 -0000 01:34:48 Look, whatever you do just don't look up where Dinsmore was between 1965 and 1979. This Datatrack contains discussion of the following topics; the Second Boer War, hunting cars for sport, the differences between Saw and Final Destination, that fucking billboard, isuggestforcetf, the beautiful Komodo Dragons of Borneo, Tracks cruising at the car wash, the Bop Crew, the genesis of Blaster and Soundwave's rivalry, and wondering what the hell the Cons' plan even WAS in 'Auto-Bop'.

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]]> Panic! At the Dancitron yes 11 17 S11E16: A DJ Khaled Situation https://pinecast.com/guid/ba4b881b-9d69-4fca-8044-ea33e61ea225 Mon, 06 Oct 2025 12:00:00 -0000 01:25:44 gurgling noises. This Datatrack contains discussion of the following topics; Seaspray, inter-species romance, the horror of the transformation pool, Seaspray keeping his awful voice after being turned into fabio, more vaguely indigenous-coded alien societies, FOOTBALL, Astrotrain's sad little life, the troubling BDSM culture Autobot Headquarters has been fostering, legendary lines, and Optimus turning down being everyone's daddy.

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]]> A DJ Khaled Situation yes 11 16 S11E15: KAIJU KREMZEEK!! Inferno's Cumshot Attack Fails??? https://pinecast.com/guid/be64d81c-f6b9-4ed9-a0e7-ca9a363b0936 Mon, 22 Sep 2025 12:00:00 -0000 01:27:05 This week friend of the show Sam joins us to talk about two episodes of Generation 1. The first one is a shockingly competent, world expanding adventure starring an underappreciated character. The other is maybe the worst single episode of G1 we've sat through thus far. In conclusion, Kremzeek is a land of contrasts. This Datatrack contains discussion of the following topics; The Book of Boba Fett, a slur so old timey it barely registers, Bosch, this show having three voice actors, Astrotrain's miserable life, Megatron's horrible son, accents so racist they loop around into being something else, Tokusatsu episode titles, and [INFORMATION WITHHELD TO AVOID GETTING THE DISCORD SUBPOENAED].

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]]> KAIJU KREMZEEK!! Inferno's Cumshot Attack Fails??? yes 11 15 S11E14: Robo-Smashing the Polycule https://pinecast.com/guid/8e66981f-2b89-4f26-9119-2f4ce4b50871 Mon, 15 Sep 2025 22:23:34 -0000 01:12:37 Who's ready for some half baked backstory with a side of bugs? This week your hosts take on the highly entertaining 'Quest for Survival' and the frankly confusing 'Secret of Omega Supreme'. This Datatrack contains discussion of the following topics; naturally occurring raid cans, Cosmos being put in hentai situations, the trouble with clones, Thrust's continued prominence, the Crystal City Polycule, the funniest way to make Omega Supreme telling a story bearable, the robo smasher, and the general weird vibes in 'SoOS'.

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]]> Robo-Smashing the Polycule yes 11 14 S11E13: Goon Equity https://pinecast.com/guid/67eb420e-1190-4608-90b3-28514db6ebfb Mon, 08 Sep 2025 12:00:00 -0000 01:51:07 Mara's good friend and frequent collaborator Jane Underscore joins the podcast this week to discuss quite a pair of episodes. One sees the birth of one of the most popular human/autobot ships of all time while the other challenges the very principles of animation "being good" and "making sense". This Datatrack contains discussion of the following topics; the thriving goon ecosystem of NYC, funny signs, Raoul, what Tracks being gay coded would actually mean in universe, Scrapper living up to his name, da Mets, Planet 52 starring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, an all you can eat buffet of animation errors, Alligators, and the world's most confusing cliffhanger.

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]]> Goon Equity yes 11 13 S11E12: Blasting Big Ds https://pinecast.com/guid/7689b991-5e16-4eff-a7f0-30814239c470 Mon, 25 Aug 2025 12:30:00 -0000 01:31:37 Friend of the pod Gigalithic joins your intrepid hosts this week for two more episodes of good old G1 madness. Whether its Beachcomber's discovery of a magical piss pool, or Astrotrain jumping at the opportunity to do colonialism, we can assure you that it's very fun, and very stupid. This Datatrack contains discussion on the following topics; why Seaspray sucks, random character groupings, what happens when a bunch of murderous idiots become invincible, Sunstreaker's interesting proclivities, improperly scored somber endings, Astrotrain listening to Joe Rogan, Cosmos' propensity to get immobilized, organized religion, electric lava, Omega Supreme's miraculous hammerspace, and lezzing out for interplanetary diplomacy.

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]]> Blasting Big Ds yes 11 12 S11E11: The Wise Wizard Boruto https://pinecast.com/guid/820a2697-8233-49ea-8b66-dcae7c122141 Mon, 18 Aug 2025 12:30:00 -0000 01:10:39 As we reach roughly the halfway point of our journey through G1 season 2, the powers that be deign to give us the gift of peak. That's right, we're finally talking about A Decpticon Raider in King Arthur's Court...and also some other episode that was ok I guess. This Datatrack contains discussion of the following topics; good guys being annoying, War of the Worlds (2025), Red Alert's dogshit firefighting technique, Blaster's dogshit infiltration technique, Ye Olde Starscreame, Valley Girl princesses, bird shit, magic being real, time travel being real, dragons being real, and the wizard Boruto.

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]]> The Wise Wizard Boruto yes 11 11 S11E10: My Dinosaurs Have Unionized https://pinecast.com/guid/a73cc6ad-b3d5-4525-96f7-d3a11585c9d2 Mon, 11 Aug 2025 12:30:00 -0000 01:30:37 In a pair of shockingly competent and relatively well-written episodes, all the frustrations the Dinobots have had about being the Autobots' get out of plot free cards finally comes home to roost in a two parter that sees Carly and Spike go to Cybertron to save everyone from a sudden onset of Cybertonium poisoning. But more importantly, Audrey and Mara argue about who has the longer drive to another city within their own state. This datatrack includes discussion of the following topics; quiet quitting, google maps, Carly letting her freak flag fly, Shockwave's no good horrible very bad day, Swoop being the only Dinobot anybody can talk to, sudden lore drops, Sparkplug selling Cybertronian secrets to the state, and what the actual fuck was going on with Blaster and Soundwave at the very start of part one.

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]]> My Dinosaurs Have Unionized yes 11 10 S11E9: Autobot HR Complaints https://pinecast.com/guid/a1d6f8b9-5607-42eb-be05-8862fc39e136 Tue, 05 Aug 2025 00:30:00 -0000 01:51:14 This week Argyle from Pod of Greed returns to the show to talk about a trio of extremely stupid episodes. While Microbots is mostly your average 'guys shrink down to go inside another guy' episode of children's animation it does contain one of the best scenes in all of G1 and introduces us to Perceptor. Then we experience the Television equivalent of being hit over the head with a sack of doorknobs for 45 minutes with the infamous two parter Megatron's Master Plan. Included in this Datatrack are discussions of the following topics; Brawn's rampant homophobia, Autobot HR, EVIL brain impulses, macguffins too stupid to come back in legacy media, the Optimus Prime costume suspiciously fitted specifically for Starscream, Optimus obeying circuit courts, Cosmos, Tracks stealing the Lambo Bros' whole schtick, Thrust's cowriting credit, and the unfortunate parallels to our modern, stupid reality.

Also sorry about my audio! I unplugged my mic and forgot to readjust my levels so I might go from being too loud to too quiet at some points here. Hopefully I fixed most of the peaking- Mara.

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]]> Autobot HR Complaints yes 11 9 S11E8: The Portland Area Construction Polycule https://pinecast.com/guid/76cd4598-cd7f-4fcc-a188-78c560bf6fd9 Mon, 28 Jul 2025 12:30:00 -0000 01:21:26 In a particularly Yaoiful pair of episodes, Audrey and Mara debate which couple is better; the sensitive, underappreciated architect and his rotund British doctor? Or the red hot Texan firetruck and the paranoid security chief? This datatrack includes discussion of the following topics; Powerglide's attitude, (probably accidental) character nuance, Starscream being surprisingly loyal (for about 20 minutes), the Construction company that is also a polycule, the public service funding in the G1 universe, Starscream being the world's worst trip sitter, and whatever the fuck the Tunnel Drone is.

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]]> The Portland Area Construction Polycule yes 11 8 S11E7: Bronze Age Simlish https://pinecast.com/guid/d2aeb4c2-cb19-4465-b587-3536417a040b Mon, 21 Jul 2025 12:30:00 -0000 01:47:29 This week Max from Pod of Greed joins us for a mind melting trio of G1 episodes. Things start "normal" with the Insecticons eating too much delicious energy and getting ready to go out Mr. Creasote style before Dinobot Island goes completely off the rails. This datatrack includes discussion of the following topics; buge, Megatron's weird hangups, Beachcomber is here, hand-transforming your rival, Optimus Prime's usage of child soldiers, Inferno's status as the OG Cum Cannoneer, time travel, Dinosaur "facts", Starscream's thankless job, and the literal dozen new characters who Just Fucking Show Up.

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]]> Bronze Age Simlish yes 11 7 S11E6: Devastator's Uniball https://pinecast.com/guid/08cbb869-4751-4e49-a4b3-3eb5da5fc8d2 Mon, 30 Jun 2025 12:30:00 -0000 01:16:09 Alright so you've got two guys. One of them is an evil clone controlled by your arch rival. You can't tell which is which. So how do you solve it? Do you A) Question the clones separately based on knowledge only the original would have access to? or B) Have a race and shoot at a rock? The answer may surprise you! This datatrack includes discussion of the following topics; Soundwave's Secret Sons, Megatron's unhealthy obsession with Spike, Starscream's clonelust, Powerglide (who has been here the whole time), mind control (but its ok because the good guys are doing it), Sunstreaker never forgetting big wet things, Gestalt jerkoff philosophy, and Forbidden Devastator Components.

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]]> Devastator's Uniball yes 11 6 S11E5: DOCTOR FUJIYAMA THE FAMOUS SCIENTIST!!! https://pinecast.com/guid/23fdf668-e2d1-40d4-baca-dc177e45b370 Mon, 23 Jun 2025 12:24:00 -0000 01:17:32 TORQ, generate picture of sexy female robot ninja, purple and black with yellow eyes, sleek silhouette, lots of knives, badass ninja skills, and huge [REDACTED]. This datatrack contains discussion of the following topics; Day of the Machines hitting too close to home, TORQ's battlebots rejects, Skyfire's continuing Busification, smart doorknobs, Doctor Fujiyama (the famous scientist), Nightbird's REAL function, gay coding, Jazz' ninja movie phase, and the question of Nightbird's sentience.

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]]> DOCTOR FUJIYAMA THE FAMOUS SCIENTIST!!! yes 11 5 S11E4: Stolen Family https://pinecast.com/guid/4f1f9152-6c6c-497a-a54f-2709b3a28ebf Mon, 16 Jun 2025 12:00:00 -0000 01:25:41 It's ramping up. You may have thought that all of our talk about G1 season 2 being completely cracked was exaggerated. Well now Atlantis has been introduced and destroyed in the same episode. It's also not Atlantis. Worry not, because things only escalate from here. This datatrack contains discussion of the following; AKOM studios dubious reputation, Cybertronian furniture kink, The Device, Spike's invulnerability, national monuments, not-Atlantis, Brawn killing Huffer, and does it still count as found family if you steal them?

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]]> Stolen Family yes 11 4 S11E3: Mirage Venting Sus https://pinecast.com/guid/0bf01fa0-e161-49bc-838b-8059fbd4a4f7 Mon, 09 Jun 2025 12:00:00 -0000 01:09:12 Is Cliffjumper ok? No. Is it funny that he becomes utterly convinced Mirage is a traitor because he missed one report? Yes. This week we're talking about a couple of fairly iconic episodes. 'Traitor' gave G1 Mirage a bit of ambiguous loyalty that future versions of the character would love to tease, but never fully develop. Meanwhile 'The Immobilizer' is the first of many 'Wheeljack's invention nearly kills everyone' episodes, if you don't count the Dinobots. The following topics are discussed within the following datatrack transmission; killer Among Us strats, Megatron's continually deteriorating plans, Rumble's tiny baby hands, Carly's undying thirst for robots, Wheeljack inventing the Torment Nexus, and why the Decepticons keep the Insecticons around.

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]]> Mirage Venting Sus yes 11 3 S11E2: Bad Dragon Presents The Empire State Building https://pinecast.com/guid/f969ad4b-eb66-4a13-96c6-0571cff272c4 Mon, 02 Jun 2025 12:00:00 -0000 01:41:44 Dan from Pod of Greed joins us to talk about two more helpings of good ol' G1 insanity. The Decepticons take over New York by building a city underneath it, and dismember Optimus in some highly confusing ways in order to help their dastardly plan along. Then, using extremely vague technology, Megatron turns a bunch of Autobots into huge jerks, and only the usage of different extremely vague technology can save them. Contained within this datatrack are discussions of the following; Reagan-era TV laws, sewer gators, skyscrapers with STDs, robogore, surgically applied lightsabers, questions about what Bluestreak's deal even is, and ill advised sound system technology.

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]]> Bad Dragon Presents The Empire State Building yes 11 2 S11E1: We Are So Back https://pinecast.com/guid/ef9858df-0f28-403f-8942-a779e08c44d7 Mon, 26 May 2025 12:00:00 -0000 01:09:06 After a year of back to back viewings of the absolute dregs of this franchise, your intrepid hosts have finally returned to where it all began. The original Transformers cartoon came onto the scene with some big swings in season one, but season two is where the madness really starts. Events discussed within this data transmission include; Frankenstein, dubiously certified doctors, Wheeljack's many crimes, Gears exploring subspace, Huffer getting fired for HR violations, Cliffjumper's thirst for violence, and the amount of cocaine that was fueling the writer's room.

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]]> We Are So Back yes 11 1 S10E10: In Cog We Trust https://pinecast.com/guid/269eefa2-fa71-442d-b332-c4a8c03d3a05 Mon, 05 May 2025 12:00:00 -0000 01:11:18 After slogging through perhaps the worst stretch of televised Transformers media there is, your hosts are run ragged. After months of horrible animation, garbled voice acting, braindead plotting, baffling writing, and boring action, we require an extra long break to recover...but when we return, we will be bringing with us Peak Transformers, the ultimate television experience, a cavalcade of light and sound sure to bewilder the senses and tickle the mind. What is it you may ask? Well, maybe you should listen and find out...

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]]> In Cog We Trust yes 10 10 S10E9: Ultra Rare Starscream W https://pinecast.com/guid/079f8163-0820-43ab-a2df-80fda940209b Mon, 28 Apr 2025 12:00:00 -0000 01:07:27 What if God was your dead wife? What if your boat learned how to be a man on the internet? What if your Dead God Wife forgave you for being a huge asshole after obliterating an evil future version of you who was an even bigger asshole? What if Cog was the most important guy in the world? What if you could make a big hole? What if you were smooth and purple? What if all of this is just a bad dream? That would be nice, wouldn't it?

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]]> Ultra Rare Starscream W yes 10 9 S10E8: The Allspark Love Hotel https://pinecast.com/guid/76c98d17-8d70-4c4b-8eff-ef9b1028d619 Mon, 14 Apr 2025 12:00:00 -0000 01:02:35 Okay so what if God was a cube, right? And then you threw God into space because you were a big huge idiot, and God fell onto a weird dirt planet and started making the Fade from Dragon Age. And then when you went to go find God because throwing God into space really fucked everything up, God was your wife, who is probably dead though you don't actually know, and your God-Wife started beating the shit out of you, but then died again. Would that be weird? I think that would be weird.

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]]> The Allspark Love Hotel yes 10 8 S10E7: Those Who Walk Away From Waspinator https://pinecast.com/guid/f447ee6c-556f-4e99-90d4-246dee664e3d Mon, 07 Apr 2025 12:00:00 -0000 01:05:20 Hhhhooooooooo boy where to begin with War For Cybertron Kingdom. Is it better than Earthrise? Absolutely. Is it better than Siege? Debatable. Is it good? Absolutely not. In just two episodes,, this show hits us with the most baffling vocal performances yet, a slew of new old characters to ruin, time travel, even more Airazor disrespect, character arc sparknotes so sloppy it gave us whiplash, and beast modes that somehow don't really look any better than they did in 1996. Also the most incredible IMDB synopsis ever put to screen, and a theory about Waspinator's place in the world.

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]]> Those Who Walk Away From Waspinator yes 10 7 S10E6: FORGIVE MEEEEE!!! https://pinecast.com/guid/109e6945-debb-47a8-a802-6e8e3e533831 Mon, 31 Mar 2025 12:00:00 -0000 01:25:09 Transformers Earthrise stumbles and falls face first into an utterly deranged conclusion. Here are a list of actual things that happen in the final two episodes of Earthrise; Sky Lynx becomes Optimus Prime's spiritual guide, a JPEG of Unicron slurps Galvatron through reality, Cog turns into Solid Snake, The Decepticons invade the Ark and get beaten in less than a minute, Optimus asks Megatron to forgive him, Elita One (probably) dies along with every other Autobot on Cybertron, the Quintessons do absolutely nothing, Earth shows up very briefly, and Dinobot is in the stinger of the episode.

Or for a more brief synopsis: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGH!!!!

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]]> FORGIVE MEEEEE!!! yes 10 6 S10E5: #NotMyScorponok https://pinecast.com/guid/56e82fc1-0f26-46d0-b2b9-7617a9da8de0 Mon, 24 Mar 2025 12:00:00 -0000 01:08:33 Here are a list of things Transformers War For Cybertron Trilogy Earthrise Contains So Far: Terrible pacing, half baked rehashes of stuff from IDW, the worst Optimus Prime of all time, an utterly baffling usage of an iconic character which forms the core of the big toyline this show is meant to sell and made Mara extremely Mad, The Suck Off Machine, Quintessons But Not Really.

Here are a list of things Transformers War For Cybertron Trilogy Earthrise Does Not Contain So Far: EARTH

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]]> #NotMyScorponok yes 10 5 S10E4: They're Calling Me The White Bumblebee https://pinecast.com/guid/71263c55-ada9-40f9-bf69-0bd404c6227d Mon, 17 Mar 2025 12:00:00 -0000 01:15:45 One of the hosts may have transed her gender between when we went on hiatus and now, but one fact remains the same; the War For Cybertron Trilogy is pure, uncut, premium grade suckage. Jetfire somehow seems to get worse with every word that comes out of his idiot mouth, Megatron is completely losing it, Optimus continues to be the worst leader of all time, and the show manages to completely waste Doubledealer AND the Quintessons in one fell swoop. Will Earth even be in this damn show to rise?? We don't know, but we DO know that we met the white Bumblebee, and soon you will too.

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]]> They're Calling Me The White Bumblebee yes 10 4 S10E3: Shockwave's Hentai Adventure https://pinecast.com/guid/d70d4c37-9f88-4a97-adc6-655d4f6fe84d Mon, 10 Feb 2025 13:00:00 -0000 01:03:57 THIS SHOW SUCKS!!! What is there to say other than that? Well. I guess we can apologize for the title. Sorry.

See you all in a month!!

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]]> Shockwave's Hentai Adventure yes 10 3 S10E2: Hahaha, Yeah! https://pinecast.com/guid/9c3eaa1c-2931-41c5-b32b-6aaa6c97e3fa Mon, 03 Feb 2025 13:00:00 -0000 01:12:24 Well...I guess these episodes were objectively better than the first two in terms of being a TV show, but they made us WAY madder. Even the surprise appearance of Ratchet and Impactor old man yaoi couldn't stop us from gnashing our teeth over this show's muddy plotting, flat and boring characterization, Jetfire's absolutely atrocious face turn, and Optimus Prime's...well, everything really. This guy SUCKS!!!!!

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]]> Hahaha, Yeah! yes 10 2 S10E1: Bumblebee the Enlightened Centrist https://pinecast.com/guid/8d08a48a-b7cc-425b-8823-51f99ba9f32c Mon, 27 Jan 2025 13:00:00 -0000 01:25:48 You know what? It's 2025. Time we grew the fuck up! It's time to toss away our childish things, such as good lighting and fun character writing, and watch a show about REAL giant robot war. Thankfully Netflix has just the thing. This ain't your grandpappy's Transformers, kiddos! This is a big important WAR STORY that has discussion of TREATIES and WAR CRIMES in it! Will we tell you what the treaty entails, or what the war crimes are? NO!! Everyone sounds cool and badass and has absolutely no personality beyond "grizzled", just like REAL WAR! Optimus Prime is a gigantic fucking idiot...just like REAL WAR!!! So sit down, shut up, and get ready to LEARN!!

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]]> Bumblebee the Enlightened Centrist yes 10 1 S9E19: Requiem For The Jerkerrrr https://pinecast.com/guid/086c424e-66d5-46a1-bf7e-33d1ed35c53b Sun, 01 Dec 2024 19:35:07 -0000 00:58:24 We've finally made it out of the nightmare that was Transformers Energon. Due to various unplanned (and planned) breaks, this season felt like it went on for years. Was it worth it, in the end? Did we learn anything valuable about ourselves, or the franchise we love? Not really. I guess we learned that Kicker is actually an alright character. So join your hosts as they look back on half a year of absolute slop, and look forward to beginning 2025 with a different sort of slop. Don't cry because it's over, smile because THE JERKERRRRRR happened, okay?

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]]> Requiem For The Jerkerrrr yes 9 19 S9E18: Yummy Energon Gruel https://pinecast.com/guid/49d8ce40-ad1a-4107-b6ba-2c0c5cd333bd Sun, 17 Nov 2024 19:01:59 -0000 01:07:10 IT'S OVER!!! IT'S AAAAALLL OVER! Sometimes it felt like this show would never end, but thankfully all things reach an end. Surprisingly, the last two episodes are better than the show has been in like 20 episodes, which isn't saying much but at least it isn't soul crushing. That doesn't mean we aren't subjected to the usual Energon slop; people becoming huge, deeply confusing monologues, fights with no stakes, and Unicron Orbs. So join us for the last time as we sit down to get fed our weekly helping of gruel.

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]]> Yummy Energon Gruel yes 9 18 S9E17: IT STINKS!! https://pinecast.com/guid/3aca1045-c6a4-456c-8f1b-f37f98cf0d36 Sun, 10 Nov 2024 19:01:01 -0000 00:49:55 Folks, the world is always getting worse in new and terrifying ways. It seems every day wee open our eyes to some new kind of fresh hell. But there is one comforting, reliable constant that we can trust to ground us in these trying times; this show blows fucking chunks. As Energon slowly drags itself towards the finish line by making everyone Huge and Ugly, killing off characters at random, developing bizarre new running gags 4 episodes before the end, and just generally being a complete and total waste of time. The good news is that it's almost over. The bad news is theres still two more episodes to watch.

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]]> IT STINKS!! yes 9 17 S9E16: "I Hope You Have Health Insurance, Prime!" https://pinecast.com/guid/af813828-e22d-444c-b3b8-315689e60d86 Sun, 20 Oct 2024 18:00:23 -0000 01:08:40 With only eight episodes to go, Transformers Energon manages to slide three of the most annoying characters in franchise history right under the radar. Thankfully they die VERY quickly, but that didn't make their presence any less irritating. Transformers Energon isn't so much racing to a conclusion as it is meandering towards a stoppage. This week we ride the Omega Train, observe sitcom shenanigans from the Decepticons, wonder why these stupid combiners are even here when none of them have done anything, and marvel at Galvatron's quipping skills. Only two weeks left, but somehow the worst is yet to come!

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]]> "I Hope You Have Health Insurance, Prime!" yes 9 16 S9E15: Enstinkification https://pinecast.com/guid/e1aa3889-6134-4957-b57c-8606b63d14ea Sun, 13 Oct 2024 18:00:00 -0000 01:03:38 After two glorious weeks away, your hosts are back to subject themselves to the inane nonsense of Transformers Energon, and this week it REALLY starts getting to them. Character arcs are being flattened in record time, episodes feel like a meandering fever dream, and something deeply concerning is going on with the Jones family. Even the utterly bizarre tournament episode jammed into the series can't drag the mood out of the gutter. The good news is there are only eight episodes of Energon remaining. The bad news is that there are somehow EIGHT EPISODES of Energon remaining. Help.

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]]> Enstinkification yes 9 15 S9E14: optimusgrunt.wav https://pinecast.com/guid/43243c7e-d924-485c-a23c-8ea8345e2b30 Sun, 22 Sep 2024 18:35:59 -0000 01:15:42 Unicron explodes and there are still 14 episodes after that. Transformers Energon truly is the show that never ends, and this week it proves that it still has some terrible, nasty surprises for us. Ugly recolors, FOUR NEW CHARACTERS introduced with only a dozen episodes to go, Optimus Prime taking L after L, strange and garbled dialogue in both versions, Decepticon fart gas, and a Temu version of the final battle from Gurren Lagaan. Anyway, here's like a minute and a half of Optimus groaning and screaming, enjoy!

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]]> optimusgrunt.wav yes 9 14 S9E13: Unicron Gets Head https://pinecast.com/guid/d3d94e45-3846-44d2-9702-3d9441009945 Sun, 15 Sep 2024 18:16:03 -0000 01:04:39 For once we have a trio of episodes that are packed full of Things Happening, a rarity for Transformers Energon. Alpha Q fucking dies, Megatron gets head, Optimus sets himself on fire for no reason, Omega Supreme becomes Optimus' skinsuit, Shockblast becomes large, Shockblast dies badly, Optimus punches Ironhide in the face, everybody gets new colors, and Optimus becomes REALLY huge. Of course, just because things happened doesn't mean they weren't boring and stupid, but you can't win em all.

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]]> Unicron Gets Head yes 9 13 S9E12: Berserk Kart 64 https://pinecast.com/guid/c1addffa-7def-4c38-b5f4-efa7ec9e9cf5 Sun, 08 Sep 2024 18:30:00 -0000 00:58:25 Regardless of what version of the show one is watching, some pretty dramatic stuff happened last time. Which is why its incredible bizarre that the first of our two episodes today is mostly about a goofy race on a highway planet? We spend most of our time on that episode because frankly the other one we watched was duller than dirt. At least the race one has weird gags, car crashes, and Optimus acting like a complete fucking freak.

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]]> Berserk Kart 64 yes 9 12 They Forgot To Dub This One https://pinecast.com/guid/be3f7de0-2539-4a47-b893-341282c372ff Sun, 25 Aug 2024 18:00:09 -0000 00:13:37 While Audrey is off enjoying a birthday break from the drudgery of Transformers Energon, Nero is here to tell you about the lost episode of the show, and by 'lost' we mean 'they literally didn't dub this one for no discernible reason'. And that's pretty bad, because its a big episode for Scorponok, Ironhide, and Alpha Q, and its absence opens a minefield of plot holes that the dub never really bothers to fix.

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]]> yes bonus S9E11: Handmaiden And Feudal Lord https://pinecast.com/guid/ebf546c6-7bb1-4f96-9a05-0e97e7f1b811 Sun, 18 Aug 2024 19:09:00 -0000 00:55:36 This week we wrap up yet another underwhelming and undercooked character arc, this time about Inferno's struggles with Decepticonification. The cast continues to balloon beyond their capacity to make any of the characters interesting or distinct, and that's when the dub can actually keep their names straight, but we sure to have a kooky old coot with hips that don't quit. The only morsel we have to hold on to during these dark times is the Scorponok and Alpha Q old man yaoi. Also, Audrey unleashes a powerful psychic attack on Nero by bringing up the ancient texts.

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]]> Handmaiden And Feudal Lord yes 9 11 S9E10: What If It Looked Good Though https://pinecast.com/guid/1804fa30-ffe5-44ed-a3ad-7cf89f1d4d2f Sun, 11 Aug 2024 19:39:37 -0000 01:03:52 This week a rift in space opened up and gave us a glimpse of another world; one where Transformers Energon had good, normal animation instead of the stiff and stunted style we have grown tragically used to. Why is it that the only time they break out the traditional animation is when a character is in extreme agony? Is it because that's how we feel given a glimpse of a better world? Why are we still getting flashbacks to fucking Padlock so long after his death? Why was there a fucking clip show that summarized the events of the episode immediately previous but talked about them as though years had passed? Will this torment ever end? Hopefully!

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]]> What If It Looked Good Though yes 9 10 S9E9: Big Ol' Space Hole https://pinecast.com/guid/e0505405-e65e-4816-9750-ccba73b7aea5 Sun, 04 Aug 2024 18:39:59 -0000 01:10:28 After a few weeks of nothing happening, a few things actually happened in these episodes! Unicron gets his new gamer colors to sell his new toy to the kiddies, Shockblast develops Sudden Betrayal Syndrome, Optimus does some bits from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and Unicron tears open a very large, very suggestive looking rip in space. Isn't it crazy that we aren't even halfway through this shit??

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]]> Big Ol' Space Hole yes 9 9 S9E8: Alas Poor Padlock https://pinecast.com/guid/bc97dd57-775e-44af-8766-3ae9769ac018 Sun, 28 Jul 2024 18:14:00 -0000 01:10:20 (Wing Dagger picks up Padlock's head): Alas, poor Padlock! I knew him, Hot Shot: a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy: he hath borne me on his alt mode a thousand times and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is! My gorge rises at it. Here hangs that faceplate I have kissed I know not how oft. Where be your gibes now? Your gambols? Your songs? Your flashes of merriment that were wont to set the cell block on a roar? Not one now, to mark your own dying badly? Quite chap-fallen. Now get thee to Primus' chamber and tell him, make a woman for the omnicons to become fixated on to make them mine better. Prithee, Hot Shot, tell me one thing?

Hot Shot: What's that?

Wing Dagger: Why is it that episode 23 is basically the same as episode 21?

Hot Shot: Well, we gotta fill 51 episodes with SOMETHING!

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]]> Alas Poor Padlock yes 9 8 S9E7: Jockwave https://pinecast.com/guid/cffd5bbc-c6c5-4bd0-8882-fe409926551a Sun, 21 Jul 2024 18:33:00 -0000 00:56:44 You know, perhaps your esteemed hosts were a bit too hard on Kicker; his father is a scientist with seemingly no moral limits who gleefully endangered his child to get some shiny rocks, his surrogate robot father is a cold and callous commander willing to let one of his soldiers fly into the heart of enemy territory with no backup, his partner is kind of a credulous dumbass who always manages to get himself into situations, and his girlfriend is mean to him. I'd be kinda testy too if I was him. Oh also these episodes have a lot of Lore but who cares about that? We need to talk about Shockwave's shithead cousin!

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]]> Jockwave yes 9 7 S9E6: GET IN THE SHIP!! https://pinecast.com/guid/c8975425-ddc1-48db-9640-e28999e3f458 Sun, 14 Jul 2024 18:30:00 -0000 01:15:36 We aren't even halfway through this show and the wheels have already fallen off. Characters are getting shoved into new bodies left and right, we've completely left any meaningful setting behind in favor of space adventures, and the dub has gotten so bad its barely coherent and only vaguely follows the visuals that happen on screen. But theres good news! We still have over 30 episodes left! Wait that's not good news at all...

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]]> GET IN THE SHIP!! yes 9 6 S9E5: It Was A Gouger https://pinecast.com/guid/ac4038e7-48f8-4c07-b655-cb5adcabf3b5 Sun, 07 Jul 2024 18:12:00 -0000 01:02:51 After an extended break, we're back to wallow in the misery of Transformers Energon. Though these episodes have a little bit more going on than the others we've covered, make no mistake; it WILL get worse. We discuss Misha's dubious archeological knowledge, continue to add to Dr. Jones' rap sheet, celebrate that Alpha Q finally has a face that doesn't have the most annoying voice in the world, and lose our minds just a little bit more.

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]]> It Was A Gouger yes 9 5 S9E4: Demolishor's Big Dumpy https://pinecast.com/guid/f8a54b63-4643-4899-9957-75aaf936358a Sun, 09 Jun 2024 18:56:00 -0000 01:14:07 We, the Podcasting Court, enter the following charges against Doctor Brian Jones into the record; wildly reckless child endangerment (two counts), cringe fatherly behavior (15 counts), sexual harassment of a Government official (1 count), uncreative naming convention for Cybertron Cities (5 counts), absolutely dogshit haircut (ongoing(. We also have reason to believe that he is somehow responsible for the english dub leaving out the main source of conflict in the first episode we covered this week, but we cannot properly prove it. As a result, we are sentencing Doctor Brian Jones to 5 months in Megatron's Torture Nexus.

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]]> Demolishor's Big Dumpy yes 9 4 S9E3: Ol' Crusty Lips Megatron https://pinecast.com/guid/f70b9be0-2a81-4f2c-8121-f28fc3108a05 Sun, 02 Jun 2024 18:13:24 -0000 01:07:39 Heyyyy, Megatron is back! And he doesn't look terrible! Does that mean these episodes of Energon were good, or even tolerable? No! Hot Shot nearly gets killed and takes a bath, we learn some racist Omnicon lore, Alpha Q drags Starscream's ghost out to sell more toys and kill Optimus Prime, Kicker continues to kick people, and we investigate the Transformers Energon AO3 tag. Now then, heres your complimentary Megatron Sword for listening to this episode. We've got loads of these things so we're just giving them away.

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]]> Ol' Crusty Lips Megatron yes 9 3 S9E2: Megatron's Iconic Sword https://pinecast.com/guid/d640d681-4d20-426d-9e12-7592a370ae11 Sun, 26 May 2024 18:00:00 -0000 01:10:39 Energon marches on!! Hey, you remember Megatron's Iconic Sword right? He was using that thing aaaall the tiiiime in Armada! God, so many memories. The dub was mostly normal this week but something really bad happened to episode 3 and they removed all the drama and character from it. Demolishor remains the only brave soul attempting to have a character arc amidst a sea of static. Kicker fell in a hole. We don't really understand how there's so much of this show but we're going ahead anyways, regardless of the consequences!

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]]> Megatron's Iconic Sword yes 9 2 S9E1: The Jerkerrrrrrr https://pinecast.com/guid/fd4b88cd-be56-4684-bc1d-baf98bbd9149 Sun, 19 May 2024 18:31:00 -0000 01:04:16 The next few months of this podcast are going to be challenging for your hosts, as they plunge headfirst in what is widely regarded as the worst Transformers TV show that wasn't on machinima.com. A dreadful dub, deeply annoying characters, hideous animation, and nonsense plotting are conspiring to drive us mad. Will they succeed? Well considering this is only the first episode of Transformers Energon and we're already losing our minds by the end of this podcast, things don't bode well. #NotMyIronhide #TheJerkerrrr

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]]> The Jerkerrrrrrr yes 9 1 S8E14: Goodbye Witwicky https://pinecast.com/guid/1ff60593-7317-49f1-9ba5-2bff5cd5a44e Sun, 05 May 2024 18:30:00 -0000 01:19:55 Earthspark has done a lot to impress both of your hosts, listeners. A cast made up of almost entirely new characters with a heavy human focus somehow ended up capturing our hearts. This episode is mostly us gushing about how good the show is, talking about The Undisputed Best Character (Twitch), the great character design, and of course answering some viewer questions. But something lurks on the horizon, something tedious and ugly, to steal away our happy fuzzy feelings. It's Nero's turn to pick, and they have chosen violence.

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]]> Goodbye Witwicky yes 8 14 S8E13: Doctor Meridian's Meat Aquarium https://pinecast.com/guid/5235c846-3b08-45f6-9615-c4b9cdbf0f5c Sun, 21 Apr 2024 18:30:00 -0000 01:21:38 Well, it's here. The grand finale of Earthspark, a show that manages to continually impress and surprise us to the end. This two parter has everything you want out of a big finale; excellent action sequences, fantastic character moments, surprisingly gruesome deaths, surprisingly gruesomer designs, and lighting our darkest hour. Now its time for the long, tortuous wait for season 2.

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]]> Doctor Meridian's Meat Aquarium yes 8 13 S8E12: Ghoiding All Over Those Guys https://pinecast.com/guid/09bc9c9c-bfff-43ca-8cc3-5423c8cc7087 Sun, 14 Apr 2024 18:30:00 -0000 01:07:29 As we approach the end of Earthspark lots of things are happening. Secrets are revealed, stakes are raised, and family bonds are tested, and new threats with absolutely awful names emerge. Ghoid. What is a Ghoid? Why are they called Ghoids? Are you into Ghoiding? Would you like to see my Ghoidcave? Wasn't it cool when the Ghoids Ghoided all over that guy? You up for getting Ghoided bro? Ghoid Ghoid Ghoid Ghoid Ghoid Ghoid Ghoid.

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]]> Ghoiding All Over Those Guys yes 8 12 S8E11: It's A Wonderful Prime https://pinecast.com/guid/54e75cbf-3f46-40be-8466-929bb08a9de6 Sun, 07 Apr 2024 18:30:00 -0000 01:26:47 Before you ask, no we DON'T know exactly what happened at the end of 'Prime Time'. We aren't entirely sure how much of that was real and how much of that wasn't, but one thing is for sure; Mandroid got his ass beat by a nine year old girl. Also we get to learn what its like when Starscream is nice, see how many seekers we can wrap up in gooey tentacles, be once again impressed by Hashtag's largeness, and question "Hey, what exactly is going on with Quintus Prime?? Is he evil?"

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]]> It's A Wonderful Prime yes 8 11 Mecha Movies Episode 92- You Me and Her Makes M3gan https://pinecast.com/guid/35f8025f-d4aa-4df7-b5d4-9c0e23fa9609 Mon, 01 Apr 2024 17:57:00 -0000 01:27:52 You guys have been requesting this one for like almost two years at this point so it's time that we finally got around to this campy murderdoll in our nonlinear exploration of robots in film. M3gan is a clever and funny little horror movie which takes full advantage of its premise, as well as the talents of its lead performers. The prosthetics, voice work, and physical acting of the titular toy combine to make one hell of a good time. So crank up that Skatt Brothers record and break it down alongside M3gan as we recap and review the film!

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]]> yes 8 S8E10: Dinosaur Fact Check https://pinecast.com/guid/f77aa891-a8af-4bca-9537-8c57ffca8bd5 Sun, 24 Mar 2024 18:27:58 -0000 01:14:09 This week Optimus Prime reaches new heights of child endangerment, Jawbreaker learns that sometimes it feels good to go apeshit, and KEITH DAVID appears?! Sounds crazy, right? Well forget all that shit, the REAL important thing is that they included a genus of Dinosaur that's likely been invalidated, AND put its fossils in the wrong area!!!! Man, I hope somebody got FIRED for that blunder!!

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]]> Dinosaur Fact Check yes 8 10 S8E9: Kill The Mandroid In Your Head https://pinecast.com/guid/904ff46f-ebfc-4b3a-b9f4-032308d922fa Sun, 17 Mar 2024 18:04:00 -0000 01:15:28 Ahhh, Da Big City. No tellin' what you'll experience if you spend a night there. Maybe you'll have a wonderful bonding experience with another queer person. Maybe you will experience a micro-agression. Maybe you will have to give your mentor a Stone Cold Stunner while a bird with a Southern accent mocks you, and then fight a dinosaur. One things for sure though, your physically imposing older sibling WILL be mind controlled by an increasingly unhinged maniac in a bid to rid the world of your kind, and will only be thwarted by some kind of insane space magic. These are just universal experiences, people.

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]]> Kill The Mandroid In Your Head yes 8 9 S8E8: Thrash Gets Trolled https://pinecast.com/guid/f23dd135-d120-4dbc-bd19-7ed14de55a05 Sun, 10 Mar 2024 18:00:00 -0000 01:34:06 Technically this podcast covers two more episodes of Transformers Earthspark, "Bear Necessities" and "Warzone". We make lots of jokes about Annihilation (2018 film), speculate about why GHOST seems to be purposefully tainting wildlife with industrial waste, discuss Sexy Shockwave, and celebrate the return of Steve Blum as Starscream. Then about halfway through we stumbled upon one of the greatest fanwork ideas of all time and it sort of distracted us for the rest of the episode.

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]]> Thrash Gets Trolled yes 8 8 S8E7: Spider Dads and Robot Yaoi https://pinecast.com/guid/a0b9b0a8-9d5f-46d6-bba6-73a3b01a1093 Sun, 03 Mar 2024 19:39:00 -0000 01:31:37 Oh boy, here we go again. Tarantulus is back. I bet he's gonna be weird and gross and offputting and...oh? What's that? He's kind and complicated and genuinely concerned for Nightshade? Well, I guess anything can happen in Earthspark. Well, I'm sure Bumblebee has no deeper reason to risk breaking his cover just to do some silly races. Oh? He's trying to find his long lost friend from before the war separated by allegiances but connected by their love of daredevilry? Well golly gee. Well, at least we know one thing; Schloder is just some goofball GHOST agent, nothing else going on there...hm? Oh he's not that at all? Well hot damn, we got a show goin here.

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]]> Spider Dads and Robot Yaoi yes 8 7 S8E6: Giant iPad Baby https://pinecast.com/guid/f4605f38-92d9-47d1-9770-23c22d1f5ce8 Sun, 25 Feb 2024 20:14:47 -0000 01:32:14 Last time on Earthspark three new babies joined the cast. Now it's time to figure out whats up with them! One of them loves movies and the internet, one of them is a nice boy with severe anxiety, and one of them is impossibly good at advanced engineering projects. We also get more clues about GHOST being completely FINE and NORMAL, Nightshade meets a cow, Hashtag makes a movie, and Jawbreaker talks to Elita One. This show is insanely good, by the way.

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]]> Giant iPad Baby yes 8 6 S8E5: Howl's Moving Monstrosity https://pinecast.com/guid/32193e35-839e-4523-9c9b-e4257aa8d0e2 Sun, 11 Feb 2024 19:00:00 -0000 01:42:48 OKAY, EARTHSPARK!! These two episodes are absolutely packed with incredible stuff, too much to fit into a measly description, so instead I will give you a list of out of context phrases which relate to some cool shit that happens in this episode; Fusion Cannon Piledriver, Goth Baddie Skywarp, Megatron Energy Shibari, Quintus Prime, Three New Guys, Toxic Plane Yuri, Mandroid Boss Fight, and AMAZING TWITCH MOMENTS. We talked about these episodes for over twice their runtime so thats how you KNOW its good.

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]]> Howl's Moving Monstrosity yes 8 5 S8E4: Block This Overhead Y'all https://pinecast.com/guid/1d28291c-550e-4683-a7f3-2b9a51cb2d38 Sun, 04 Feb 2024 19:14:00 -0000 01:24:09 Earthspark continues to provide us with all time great incarnations of classic characters. Rowdy Southern Arcee? Yes please! Frenzy with blue hair and pronouns? Sign us up! Soundwave disillusioned and betrayed by Megatron's turn? Wowee!! And the kids go to SCHOOL?!?!?!? ...well okay that one isn't actually all that exciting. But they DO basically watch their adopted robot siblings die, so, you know...anyway, block this goddang overhead!!

Noise Space | Discord | That cool Rumble fan design we talked about

]]> Block This Overhead Y'all yes 8 4 S8E3: Assigned Dad On Sight https://pinecast.com/guid/822a3687-fcc9-4ff6-9b1e-a75ebecc7985 Sun, 28 Jan 2024 19:09:00 -0000 01:20:27 What if you were like 2 weeks old or whatever and inadvertently scanned an Autobot scientist's drone as your alternate mode, and then you meet him in the woods while you're looking for a monster from Filipino folklore? What if you and your sister got into a fight so bad you accidentally stumble into a secret government blacksite and almost get murdered by a former war criminal's training program? What if you won the big gaming tournament but none of your family were around to celebrate with you because you had unwittingly isolated yourself from your own traditions? What if there was a guy named Schloder? Where is Mrs. Squiggles? Why isn't Alex Malto on the 76ers right now? We have answers to some of these questions for you, I guess.

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]]> Assigned Dad On Sight yes 8 3 S8E2: Cough It Up Bike Boy https://pinecast.com/guid/cd33f1da-3012-4d0b-99b3-c1e03d9e48b8 Sun, 21 Jan 2024 19:30:00 -0000 01:36:07 We learned a lot this week on Transformers Earthspark; baby cows are really cute, never take teaching advice from Megatron, Witwicky Pennsylvania has some robust rail infrastructure that is used entirely by shady secret organizations, rules are important, the chore chart is VERY important, never trust a guy named Swindle (we've heard this one before), and professional wrestling inspires bad behavior in young viewers. But the one thing we DIDN'T learn is who the hell taught Optimus about fakeout voicemail messages.

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]]> Cough It Up Bike Boy yes 8 2 S8E1: Megatron Has Been Bimbofied https://pinecast.com/guid/612f697b-51d7-44ac-8f2d-c1765a473c7a Sun, 14 Jan 2024 19:30:00 -0000 01:27:21 New year, new show, same us. In a first for the podcast, we're covering a show that neither of the hosts have seen, Earthspark! We talk about the extremely strong first showing for this series with 'Secret Legacy'. Some great casting choices, cool designs, a fascinating setup for our characters, and the most engaging human cast we've ever had means we're pretty high on Earthspark so far. Also, damn these kids fall down hills a lot! They're gonna skin a knee!

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]]> Megatron Has Been Bimbofied yes 8 1 S7E7: Arise, Crunchwrap Supreme https://pinecast.com/guid/77b16535-ae93-4978-b273-04f9c6309111 Sun, 26 Nov 2023 19:27:00 -0000 00:57:32 Animated Season 2 left us with a lot of questions. If Sari is a techno-organic hybrid, how come she caught a cold that one time? Why did the Constructicons not ever get a toy? How come Ratchet fucked up that bad? Why does Nero have such an atrocious Ronald Reagan impression? Will Hasbro ever answer for cancelling Animated Season 4? Is Slo-Mo single? At least some of these questions will be answered on this very podcast!

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]]> Arise, Crunchwrap Supreme yes 7 7 S7E6: Is this CANON!?!?! https://pinecast.com/guid/0330257a-7bce-47b6-89ef-aa43e30d9357 Sun, 19 Nov 2023 19:30:00 -0000 01:31:45 Well, we've reached the end of TFA Season 2. Lots happens this week. Starscream flirts with his externalized girlboss aspect, Sari remakes Home Alone (complete with Joe Pesci), Ratchet reunites with his ex-boyfriend (a sentient weapon of mass destruction), Bulkhead's engineering skills are finally recognized, and shocking revelations about Sari's origin are teased in literally the last 30 seconds of the episode. But before we get into ANY of that Audrey tells Nero about the greatest comment ever left on a Transformers smutfic.

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]]> Is this CANON!?!?! yes 7 6 S7E5: Government Assigned Nickname https://pinecast.com/guid/f93d1dd3-22b2-4b99-8b30-3db71c7a76c6 Sun, 12 Nov 2023 19:30:00 -0000 01:38:42 ATTEN-SHUN! THIS WEEK WE ARE TALKING ABOUT EPISODES NINE AND TEN OF TRANSFORMERS ANIMATED SEASON TWO! THEY ARE CALLED 'AUTOBOOT CAMP' AND 'BLACK FRIDAY'! THE FOLLOWING EVENTS WILL BE DESCRIBED IN DETAIL BY YOUR HOSTS; BUMBLEBEE AND BULKHEAD MEET IN BOOT CAMP, BUMBLEBEE ACCIDENTALLY TORTURES SENTINEL PRIME, BUMBLEBEE GETS HIS LEGS RIPPED OFF, BUMBLEBEE IS TRICKED INTO FRAMING AN INNOCENT BOT FOR SPYING, GRIMLOCK HAS A BIG CRUSH ON A GOTH SPIDER, MELTDOWN OFFERS TO MURDER SOMEONE FOR SARI, SURPRISE SCIENCE BONDAGE, AND BUMBLEBEE FAILS THE SHUT UP CHALLENGE!! NOW DROP AND GIVE ME 20 TRANSFORM UPS YOU ROBO-MAGGOTS!!

(Sorry about my audio this week, I fucked up my mic positioning and did my best to record it- Nero)

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]]> Government Assigned Nickname yes 7 5 S7E4: Threehundred Starscream Moon https://pinecast.com/guid/fb0f43ba-e1e2-47bd-9cd2-37ba28fb0d75 Sun, 05 Nov 2023 19:30:00 -0000 01:28:38 As we hit the middle of Animated's second season we begin to get some pretty mid episodes, even if one of them has strangely good animation for no reason. However, that doesn't mean there aren't plenty of things to talk about. This week, Prowl gets caught up in a silly drug metaphor (where the representation of drugs is corpse bits that give you superpowers) while hunting down Starscream with Lockdown, only to find that there are several more Starscreams running around than there used to be. Then we collect all our various human supervillains into the Society of Ultimate Villainy, where they are instantly outshone by their extremely trustworthy ally Swindle. And now for a word from our sponsors!

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]]> Threehundred Starscream Moon yes 7 4 S7E3: FUHGEDDABOUTTIT https://pinecast.com/guid/35fc8af2-4e33-4ce3-b9dc-bb443466ebac Sun, 29 Oct 2023 18:10:00 -0000 01:16:02 BADA BING BADA BOOM we're back in the Mix(master) with Transformers Animated, and it's time to meet some more new guys! Bumblebee gets into a rivalry with a cool blue street racer who surely will not turn out to be a named character any time in the future. Then Bulkhead meets some real blue collar guys who were quite literally born yesterday. Will he be able to guide his rough around the edges pals away from Megatron's beguiling influence? Well since the episode is called "Rise of the Constructicons" probably not. Now sit the hell down, crack open some crude ones with the boys, chase some tailpipe, and- HEYY WE'RE PODCASTIN' OVAH HEEEEEAH!!

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]]> FUHGEDDABOUTTIT yes 7 3 S7E2: Gap Moe Garbage Man https://pinecast.com/guid/d9898e21-9919-44a3-b6b5-292918dff7f6 Sun, 22 Oct 2023 18:30:00 -0000 01:30:21 It's finally here. After alluding to the best montage of all time many times in our past episodes, we've finally arrived at Starscream getting murdered over and over again for 45 seconds. Oh, but don't worry, he's fine. He can't die anymore, and he intends to make this everyone else's problem. Also in this episode, Weird Al has a double meta guest spot, Sentinel and Magnus attempt to make Optimus commit perjury for national security reasons, Ratchet learns how to be nice (sort of), and we come up with the Worst Best Musician Stunt Casting idea in franchise history.

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]]> Gap Moe Garbage Man yes 7 2 S7E1: Good Ol' PCP https://pinecast.com/guid/00473b73-3a0a-4793-a826-810f98f03774 Sun, 15 Oct 2023 18:30:00 -0000 01:17:48 Listeners we are so fucking back...in Detroit, to be specific. We're starting our journey through TFA season 2, and already some nutso shit has happened. Sari Sumdac is (briefly) the world's youngest CEO, the AutoCops have stopped by to investigate all these claims about Decepticons and Allsparks and whatnot, the Headmaster has returned to torment the Autobots (and the Audience), and Professor Sumdac is being forced to do Megatron's evil bidding. But don't worry about all that! Just chillax and watch some Cocomelon with Bulkhead and Bumblebee!

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]]> Good Ol' PCP yes 7 1 S6E7: Least Valuable Seeker https://pinecast.com/guid/f31ed623-9b11-490c-99ab-e48906dc3063 Sun, 24 Sep 2023 18:20:00 -0000 00:54:53 We finished our sprint through Cyberverse's first season, and we have a lot of thoughts about it. Mostly our thoughts are that Bumblebee is kind of annoying, Shadowstriker is cool as fuck, and this show is chronically incorrect about Dinosaurs. We also construct the setting for our dream show, give out our end of season awards, and Nero announces their pick for our next season.

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]]> Least Valuable Seeker yes 6 7 S6E6: Seeker Math https://pinecast.com/guid/5435debd-6bee-48de-8608-b53d75032bea Sun, 17 Sep 2023 18:30:00 -0000 01:12:50 `You know they say that all bots are created equal, but you look at me Grimlock and you look at Shockwave and you can see that statement is not true. See, normally if you go one on one with another Cybertronian, you got a 50/50 chance of winning. But I'm a genetic freak and I'm not normal! So you got a 25%, AT BEST, at beat me. Then you add The Seekers to the mix, your chances of winning drastic go down. See the battle at the Ark, you got a 33 1/3 chance of winning, but I, I got a 66 and 2/3 chance of winning, because the Seekers KNOW they can't beat me and they're not even gonna try!

So Shockwave, you take your 33 1/3 chance, minus my 25% chance and you got an 8 1/3 chance of winning at the Ark battle. But then you take my 75% chance of winning, if we was to go one on one, and then add 66 2/3 per cents, me Grimlock got 141 2/3 chance of winning at Ark battle. See Shockwave, the numbers don't lie, and they spell disaster for you at the Ark battle.`

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]]> Seeker Math yes 6 6 S6E5: Nightmare Zoom Call https://pinecast.com/guid/c5c36723-fff1-45f5-8e0c-031bc9df2566 Sun, 10 Sep 2023 18:34:00 -0000 01:09:45 This week the plot continues to move! Bumblebee gets some motivational flashbacks from the annoying orb he rescued last week, Slipstream roots through Windblade's memories and gets berated by her bosses over Zoom in two very different ways, and the gang black out an entire city to restart Grimlock's heart. We also get to hear some of Cyberverse's....interesting ideas about dinosaurs.

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]]> Nightmare Zoom Call yes 6 5 S6E4: Shockwave's Amogus Lobby https://pinecast.com/guid/7a2510ac-a493-488e-8cbb-2787c48de0f8 Sun, 03 Sep 2023 18:23:00 -0000 01:05:14 As Windblade and Bumblebee get closer to locating the lost Ark, the Decepticons are closing in. In remembering an old bar, the duo get a cryptic clue from the past which hews shockingly close to their current situation. Shockwave launches a dastardly plan to gaslight Bumblebee into thinking that HE was imposter all along while Windblade and Slipstream have more encounters. Finally an annoying orb arrives to guide our heroes towards the end of their journey. Well, guide Bumblebee anyway. Windblade isn't a crew member so she can basically fuck off. Anyway I saw Bee venting in electrical, extremely sus.

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]]> Shockwave's Amogus Lobby yes 6 4 S6E3: Bee Just Like Me FR https://pinecast.com/guid/2b127357-fc84-4f62-81bf-2dc02cdc726c Sun, 27 Aug 2023 18:30:00 -0000 01:17:50 This week we're joined by the other half of Naruto podcast Konoha Crush, Soliloquy, for more trips down Bumblebee's memory lane. We learn all about CUBE, Cybertron's premier sport, and how Bee met Windblade. Then we're treated to a bit of Bumblebee and Hot Rod's vacation on Velocitron, which ends in just about the worst way a vacation can end. Finally, we're properly introduced to Shadowstriker, who has some (well deserved) enmity towards our little yellow dipshit.

Noise Space | Discord | Konoha Crush | Lili's Twitch

]]> Bee Just Like Me FR yes 6 3 S6E2: This Too Is Yuri https://pinecast.com/guid/63088ee0-5c7b-4576-9fed-0e308b7e3ff3 Sun, 13 Aug 2023 22:14:37 -0000 00:57:13 Cyberverse continues to roll on, introducing us to more new guys through Bumblebee's flashbacks. This week Bee, Prime, and Grimlock have a Star Trek style adventure, Windblade gets homoerotically choked out in the Himalayas, and we learn all about why this Megatron guy sucks so bad. Oh, and Bumblebee watches informercials and learns some new words. How exciting.

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]]> This Too Is Yuri yes 6 2 S6E1: ASMAllspark https://pinecast.com/guid/c432df3f-5d75-4080-924b-6a09aa0d3f49 Sun, 06 Aug 2023 18:30:00 -0000 01:03:54 We're back from our summer vacation to talk about an all new show! There's a lot of things to get used to when starting Transformers Cyberverse. There are no human characters at all, the episodes are MUCH shorter, and and the voice acting varies in quality from "quite good" to "dubious G1 impersonation". But one thing remains constant; Bumblebee IS here and he IS extremely marketable.

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]]> ASMAllspark yes 6 1 S5E13: Beast Woke https://pinecast.com/guid/c1b2bd38-adb1-4d4f-8b98-60a806786b9e Sun, 02 Jul 2023 18:30:00 -0000 00:58:06 Well, here we are again. The end of another season. There are themes to discuss, characters to rank, accolades to give out, and future plans to announce. Also, Audrey gives her spoiler free review of Rise of the Beasts, we workshop the sexy new modern reboot of Beast Wars, and marvel at the insanely long name of Beast Wars' Italian Dub. Now if we all pool our twitter clout together we can get that "Bitch Wars" scrapped episode made, so get on it.

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]]> Beast Woke yes 5 13 S5E12: Daddy Vibes https://pinecast.com/guid/5a17d157-c552-4719-85f4-1e34327798b7 Sun, 25 Jun 2023 18:30:00 -0000 01:22:21 It's time for the season finale! All the pieces fall into place, and our characters make big moves; Megatron goes into full Bond villain mode as he awaits the arrival of the mysterious alien race seemingly using this planet as an experiment. Optimus Primal gets put into a bondage machine and scolded by the robot devil. Tarantulus' plans are set in motion, and he valiantly resists the treacherous flirtation of his sexy spider minion. Inferno immolates people. Everyone takes turns telling Rattrap to shut up. Waspinator has a terrible day. Oh, and the evil fake alien moon is a Halo, from the game Halo. NOT the Death Star. Get it right.

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]]> Daddy Vibes yes 5 12 S5E11: Big Stinky https://pinecast.com/guid/a7e1527e-d31e-4e0c-8bbf-e8d2ef36f83e Sun, 18 Jun 2023 18:30:00 -0000 00:55:12 This week is a perfect encapsulation of the extremes of Beast Wars. On the one hand, we have an episode about Tigatron grappling with the cost of war, the nature of violence, and his love of the natural world. Dinobot continues to be caught between the Maximal cause he has sworn himself to and the Predacon programming he was born with. Ultimately there are no easy answers for either of them, but they must press on.

On the other hand, what if Rhinox caught a virus that made him burp and sneeze and the burps and sneezes exploded and Tarantulus had a big slide and then Rhinox defeated Megatron with a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig fart because he ate beans lol

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]]> Big Stinky yes 5 11 S5E10: Snakes And Screamers https://pinecast.com/guid/7814002f-87cb-4f58-b5fe-3a05f500fcd8 Sun, 11 Jun 2023 18:30:00 -0000 01:09:54 This week we talk about the episode that solidified Beast Wars' connections to the wider universe of Generation 1, and also an episode where a bunch of guys go blind and almost get eaten by a snake. Starscream is back and screamier than ever, with a performance somehow more unhinged than Chris Latta's original G1 voice work. Also Blackarachnia and Dinobot are huge history nerds, Waspinator would have a massive kill count in a more just world, and the Predacons should consider hiring that really big snake.

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]]> Snakes And Screamers yes 5 10 S5E9: *Web Shooting Noises* https://pinecast.com/guid/59cc8ba4-b33c-4aff-a98c-3e3b6c9c89b8 Sun, 04 Jun 2023 18:59:54 -0000 01:04:45 This week is great if you like to hear professional voice actors make animal noises or weird grunts. This week is also pretty great if you're Tigatron...mostly. We watched 'Spider's Game', an episode all about Tarantulus and Blackarachnia doing treacherous spider shenanigans. They make a new guy, and Tarantulus becomes even more unpleasant somehow. Then in 'Call of the Wild' Megatron figures out how to make the Maximals go monke mode, and hunts them for sport, complete with elephant gun. Just another day in da Beast Wars baybee.

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]]> *Web Shooting Noises* yes 5 9 S5E8: Don't Worry About It https://pinecast.com/guid/843698f9-875a-4d64-9f6f-63ea5fc45bb5 Sun, 21 May 2023 18:30:00 -0000 01:13:57 Hey, look, I know there are a few weird things going on right now but its chill. The Maximals just got a new bird friend who is super cool, and Cheetor had another weird vision quest. It's fine. Yeah, sure there's a floating island with a giant obelisk that hates guns on it, and Tigatron is displaying some worrying ecofascist tendencies but its cool. That beam it sent up to space? The alien runes covering every inch of it? Whaddya talkin' about? It's fiiiiiine. How about we talk about Blackarachnia's sexy goth makeover instead, ok? Forget all about THE MIGHTY OBELISK, it's fiiiiine.

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]]> Don't Worry About It yes 5 8 S5E7: One For The Sickos https://pinecast.com/guid/bba9b325-f632-4626-9b40-270db76fad7a Sun, 14 May 2023 18:30:00 -0000 01:00:25 This week is all about our Maximals being nasty little sickos. First Rhinox gets Predified and causes all sorts of havoc on the Darksyde. Then Megatron decides to clone Dinobot to attempt to infiltrate the Maximal base. The clone can't transform, and is seemingly organic. We will let you work through that one on your own. Heh Heh.

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]]> One For The Sickos yes 5 7 S5E6: ORB https://pinecast.com/guid/7695b69f-508b-452f-adea-b10220f146b7 Sun, 07 May 2023 18:30:00 -0000 01:16:41 Got a couple of Dinobot focused episodes this week with 'The Probe' and 'Victory'. First, the Maximals finally wonder whats going on with Primal and his boys, and sends something to investigate. While the Maximals try to contact it, Dinobot has conflicted feelings about the whole thing, and then Tarantulus shows up with an ORB. Then in 'Victory' the Predacons totally 100 percent die, and the Maximals get ready to leave, but then they look in a hole and discover the truth. We also talk about Rattrap and his various boyfriends, this show's bizarre editing, ORBs.

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]]> ORB yes 5 6 S5E5: Automatic Dinosaur Shibari https://pinecast.com/guid/f8622516-f41a-4bce-8f94-13bccf2096c0 Sun, 30 Apr 2023 18:30:00 -0000 01:03:31 Life tried its best to prevent this episode from being made, but we won't go down that easily! Nero and Audrey do their best to recap two episodes of Beast Wars that they watched several weeks ago, before Events Occurred. Rattrap gets locked in with a malfunctioning security system and must do all kinds of cool stunts to turn it off. Then Optimus Primal decides he's tired of being nice, and instead opts to go Ape Shit. We rank the Predacons by intelligence, pair up Beast Wars characters with Disney princes, and wonder if love can bloom between a Scientist turned soldier and a turncoat warrior. In other words, we are so back.

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]]> Automatic Dinosaur Shibari yes 5 5 S5E4: Women's Wrongs https://pinecast.com/guid/4ad22f6a-6cff-445c-bffe-cbeb7c3447fb Sun, 02 Apr 2023 18:30:00 -0000 01:11:36 This week is all about (briefly) meeting new guys! Tigatron and Blackarachnia are here, and then remember they have other things to do and go away for a little bit. But man do they have great voices. Also we talk about how every single Predacon has some kind of bizarre fetish (ESPECIALLY TARANTULUS), Rattrap's toxic russy, Optimus Primal being gone off that robo-oxy, and how the only guy who seems to have the ear of the Maximal commander is the very recent Predacon turncoat, which doesn't exactly say great things about the rest of his soldiers.

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]]> Women's Wrongs yes 5 4 S5E3: For Want Of A Starscream https://pinecast.com/guid/f81b6071-6643-4d10-9730-7fa5a41ad94c Sun, 26 Mar 2023 18:00:00 -0000 01:11:27 (Apologies in advance for Audrey's audio this episode. Due to mic issues we had to fall back on the recording bot.) This week, we start getting into what Beast Wars is most well known for; the slow roll of a mysterious ongoing plot involving strange structures and bizarre technology scattered across the planet. Oh, and Optimus Primal getting killed/seperated from his body/transcending somehow. That also happens a lot. Also discussed; Rhinox's massive chainguns, Tarantulus and Rattrap crack shipping, and how in the absence of a Starscream the average treachery level of all Decepticon/Predacon characters drastically goes up. Just don't ask if the beast bots can poop or not. We don't know.

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]]> For Want Of A Starscream yes 5 3 S5E2: Accidental Isekai Machine https://pinecast.com/guid/ceeffbae-a263-476f-b74c-979ca1ec6174 Sun, 19 Mar 2023 18:30:00 -0000 01:12:02 This week, Daphnis from our Discord joins us to talk about episodes 3 and 4 of Beast Wars, both of which involve Cheetor being reckless and stupid. He is blown up by the dumbest Predacon alive, gets trapped in Tarantulus' BDSM dungeon, is struck by lightning several times, challenges the sky to a fight, and tries to fistfight an inanimate object. Not a great showing so far, Cheetor! Well anyway, we hope you all like our Beast Era intro music : ).

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]]> Accidental Isekai Machine yes 5 2 S5E1: Optimus Primal's Lubed Up Thighs https://pinecast.com/guid/4b2a0092-e80a-4b80-b898-ab36fa1af1bf Sun, 12 Mar 2023 18:06:00 -0000 01:11:30 We're finally back to get started on BEAST WARS, the most drastic revamping the franchise has ever been through. What if instead of cars and planes everybody turned into actual real animals? And instead of it looking bad because it was cheaply made, it looked bad because it was using cutting edge CGI technology? And what if there was an Autobot who was just a huge scummy asshole, who also turned into a rat? And what if Megatron was, you know...a little fruity with it? I won't pretend to have answers for all of those questions, but I DO know that Optimus Primal is one slicked up boy, and that this series is ABSOLUTELY not set on Earth, no siree!

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]]> Optimus Primal's Lubed Up Thighs yes 5 1 S4E8: Three Starscream Moon https://pinecast.com/guid/05ce1283-d67c-4b6f-8ec2-bc1db3bd20f7 Sun, 05 Feb 2023 19:23:00 -0000 00:55:15 We're back from hiatus! And now we're going on a second, longer hiatus! But before we do we have to wrap up Season 1 of G1. We discuss the incomparable clusterfuck of the Transformers televised debut, recap our favorite animation errors, hand out some end of season awards, and ponder alternate histories where G1 WASN'T the first Transformers show. And of course, Nero announces their pick for the next season. See you in March!

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]]> Three Starscream Moon yes 4 8 S4E7: The Beautiful Autobot Twinks Of G1 https://pinecast.com/guid/5a5e1273-a6e9-41a2-bd76-c15e7a30ec1b Sun, 08 Jan 2023 19:04:00 -0000 01:16:15 Well we have finished our trek through G1's first season, which ended much as it began; shoddily animated, confusingly written, and absolutely fucking hilarious all the way through. Some big debuts in these episodes, with the fan favorite Constructicons making their presence known. It also has Starscream exhibiting WILD sicko behavior, and both Megatron and Optimus taking colossal Ls the whole way through. But don't worry, there are plenty of beautiful Autobot twinks (and Starscream) to take your mind off of how bad the animation is.

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]]> The Beautiful Autobot Twinks Of G1 yes 4 7 S4E6: Decepticon Command Polycule https://pinecast.com/guid/e5893ecc-028a-4e74-a147-a9309d78c6d4 Mon, 26 Dec 2022 20:36:33 -0000 02:15:26 Oh, let's see what Megatron got us for the holidays. Wow! It's the planet Cybertron encroaching on Earth's orbit and tearing it asunder! This week CNRN from our discord joins us to talk about The Ultimate Doom three part saga. This one really pulls out all the stops. We've got mind control chips, world ending disasters, Humans collaborating with Decepticons, and Seeker slapfights. Merry Christmas if you celebrate, and if not have a happy holiday season everyone!

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]]> Decepticon Command Polycule yes 4 6 S4E5: What If Starscream Was Normal? (With Quinton Reviews) https://pinecast.com/guid/edea42f2-6053-4c27-9346-83c3cb8f061f Sun, 18 Dec 2022 19:41:00 -0000 01:58:27 This week we're welcoming famous videosmith and bearer of iCarly knowledge Quinton Reviews on to talk all things Skyfire/Jetfire. 'Fire in the Sky' and 'Fire on the Mountain' are quite a pair of eps. The first one features some of the first real character lore we've had for this show, expanding on Starscream's past and giving his character new context, and ends on a rather melancholy note for the usually bonkers G1. The second one...well it's mostly just kind of wild, but it DOES feature Optimus Prime falling down a bunch of stairs several times! We discuss the strange history of Jetfire's toy and why he looks like that in the show, the implications of Starscream once having been normal, and of course how Skyfire and Starscream for sure used to date. Oh and whats with all the magic green crystals that keep popping up in this show?

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]]> What If Starscream Was Normal? (With Quinton Reviews) yes 4 5 S4E4: Witwicky Budding Theory https://pinecast.com/guid/ee24adeb-6598-415c-8ac8-aacdf2c13045 Sun, 11 Dec 2022 19:05:00 -0000 01:13:00 Audrey may hate it when I do it in the episode, but she can't stop me from doing Shrapnel's vocal tick in the description, description! This week the Dinobots go on strike, Wheeljack adopts two more sons, and there are a bunch of huge robot bugs in the jungle, jungle. How did the Autobots drive from Oregon to Bali, Bali? Why did Wheeljack forget to give Snarl a personality, personality? Does the insecticons being able to process organic matter mean they've eaten people, people? There are many questions, and we have a few of the answers this week on Prime Cuts, Cuts!

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]]> Witwicky Budding Theory yes 4 4 S4E3: Shockwave Gets Trolled https://pinecast.com/guid/3cf1c032-c8b3-4f6e-a4df-a63141977497 Sun, 04 Dec 2022 19:20:00 -0000 01:13:27 Due to some creative scheduling, our nonlinear history of Transformers is even more nonlinear than usual as we cover episodes 6 and 8 of G1. Some extremely iconic G1 stuff is established in these episodes, like the Dinobots. There's also some stuff that stuck in young fans minds so hard that it eventually BECAME iconic, like those colorful Starscream clones called the Rainmakers. And naturally the show can barely go five minutes without some kind of catastrophic animation error, like Skywarp being miscolored as both his teammates within the same scene. Anyway did you know that even with seat belts people die all the time in Space Bridge accidents? I just thought that was interesting.

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]]> Shockwave Gets Trolled yes 4 3 S4E2: Don Cliffote https://pinecast.com/guid/b8b10d90-b399-4473-ae13-71b8b73675e0 Sun, 20 Nov 2022 19:21:00 -0000 01:12:10 Despite what you may think, the Decepticons weren't defeated simply by getting a little wet. G1 just keeps on rolling this week, with some of the most madness filled action sequences we've seen yet. Laser baseballs, clam nets, hand launched buzzsaws, and more await you here. Plus, Cliffjumper takes nothing but Ls, Soundwave does a brain scan, Bumblebee is a terrible scout, and we finally get to see what Jet Judo is all about.

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]]> Don Cliffote yes 4 2 S4E1: Woe, Laserbeak Be Upon Ye https://pinecast.com/guid/c94cab32-7078-406c-98d0-0ad48b1bc9fe Sun, 13 Nov 2022 19:36:00 -0000 01:23:16 Right out the gate, G1 lets you know exactly what this show is gonna be; poorly animated, bizarrely written, and extremely funny. We're covering the three part introduction of the Transformers, More Than Meets The Eye. You will hear about Shockwave's huge honkers, the Autobot's huge brained plans, the Decepticon's complete two dimensional villainy, and how every single human in this show wears a hard hat. And while Starscream is obviously a hoot from minute one, we find a new favorite guy in the form of a rude blue dude that lives in Soundwave's chest. Now the only question remains; where did Optimus Prime find a labcoat in his size?

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]]> Woe, Laserbeak Be Upon Ye yes 4 1 S3E8: Sentinels Is The Same https://pinecast.com/guid/7bdba701-6e67-40dd-9480-87b00c6815b5 Sun, 30 Oct 2022 18:07:00 -0000 01:05:19 Another season down! This week we're wrapping up our coverage of TFA season 1. Our expectations and memories going in, the ups and downs of late 2000s episodic storytelling, and being absolutely perfect at not spoiling anything ever. We also have some awards to give out, some characters to kill, and some books to discuss. And of course, we have the announcement of our next season. What is it? I'm not telling you. Listen to the damn episode!

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]]> Sentinels Is The Same yes 3 8 S3E7: Sumdac You Ignorant Slut https://pinecast.com/guid/b485761f-45b7-4fc5-8fcb-15e25208ab41 Sun, 16 Oct 2022 22:40:00 -0000 01:39:30 Well folks it's already here, the season finale for TFA. We've had some laughs, but now its time to get down to whats REALLY important; camping vs glamping. Oh also, Megatron is resurrected and beats the shit out of the Autobots and stuff but like come on, we know you. You wanna hear more about Bumblebee's potential future as a drug mule, and Megatron and Starscream's foreplay involving lots of veiled threats. Anyway I'm gonna swing by McServo's, you want an Energon Mac or something?

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]]> Sumdac You Ignorant Slut yes 3 7 S3E6: The Fanzone Fan Zone https://pinecast.com/guid/dc9fb1d4-770b-4c29-b593-42f2608d3d3c Sun, 02 Oct 2022 18:29:00 -0000 01:16:44 Gonna be honest with you folks, these episodes were mostly nothing to write home about. Even the Dinobots returning couldn't save us from this sea of mediocrity...but maybe one square shaped, brick fisted, machine hating cop could! Meltdown makes his big comeback, Bulkhead learns all about art, and the worlds most aggravating man tries to melt all of Michigan in a nuclear fireball. This week Prime Cuts is T0T@L 0WN@G3 and all that garbage.

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]]> The Fanzone Fan Zone yes 3 6 S3E5: "No <3" https://pinecast.com/guid/e2994f10-ac7a-4607-9016-d0a4795c2a0f Sun, 25 Sep 2022 18:16:00 -0000 01:18:04 We've got a busy couple of episodes for Megatron this week. First his latest attempt at creating a new body for himself becomes sentient (again) and decides to lead a robot revolution while blasting Sick Beats. Then the rest of the Nemesis crew finally shows up on Earth to cause some serious trouble. Also everybody is beefing and nobody is cooperating. Gigantic explosions, music that defies genre, and terrible birthday gifts await you here on Prime Cuts.

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]]> "No <3" yes 3 5 S3E4: Shoes That Make You Old https://pinecast.com/guid/eec25395-de6d-4062-93ae-f6255c5cdf28 Sun, 18 Sep 2022 18:30:00 -0000 01:31:29 This week we're joined by David of the Shonen Flop Cast to discuss a pair of episodes that truly span Animated's tones. First Bumblebee has to outspeed a hyper fast thief under the employ of Megatron in an episode right out of Teen Titans. Then Optimus' traumatic past is explored as Blackarachnia appears on Earth to get Sari's key. Sexy spiders, giant chins, and the (heroic) torture of the elderly abound on this episode of Prime Cuts.

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]]> Shoes That Make You Old yes 3 4 S3E3: The Dinosaurs and Trauma Power Hour https://pinecast.com/guid/21173104-1a42-4e40-a1ab-47a80833da33 Sun, 11 Sep 2022 20:48:32 -0000 01:24:16 Hey kids! You like cool fire breathing robot dinosaurs?! Of course ya do! Do you like the deep seated scars of war!? Well good news, this week you get BOTH! The debut of the Animated Dinobots comes right alongside Ratchet facing down an ugly reminder of his past, voiced by yet another beloved character actor. We also discuss how often Predator Episodes keep popping up, Megatron's expert manipulation skills, and the Arcee Scale of Being Done Dirty. (Spoilers, this one doesn't rank well.)

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]]> The Dinosaurs and Trauma Power Hour yes 3 3 S3E2: Cucked by a Copbot: The Fanzone Story https://pinecast.com/guid/d9fdadf3-348a-4fed-b031-ee42c311fa2e Sun, 04 Sep 2022 18:30:00 -0000 02:05:49 This week Jordan from the excellent Shounen Flop Podcast joins us for our first proper episodes of TFA, and we find that sometimes this show just turns into Teen Titans. This episode really goes all over the damn place, from reminiscing about pre-smartphone cell phones to shouting out experimental guitarist Buckethead, Hot Dog Crimes and cum crystals, and of course plenty of tangents about IDW. But don't worry, we know exactly what you've come to hear; the heartrending tale of the REAL reason Captain Fanzone hates machines...

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]]> Cucked by a Copbot: The Fanzone Story yes 3 2 S3E1: All Jets Are Queens https://pinecast.com/guid/b09f2882-6a3b-45e4-85ac-786007028c01 Sun, 28 Aug 2022 18:30:00 -0000 01:59:02 Time to begin the first season of Transformers Animated with the three part TV movie that kicked the whole thing off, Transform and Roll Out. It's got everything you could want out of a Transformers series premier; action, jokes, lore, and GIGANTIC CHINS! Just watch out for Tom Kenny doing a racist voice (2008 was a different time) and stay tuned for the long awaited return of a Prime Cuts classic; that's right, the Cum Cannon is BACK!

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]]> All Jets Are Queens yes 3 1 S2E13: What if Earth was a Eucharist https://pinecast.com/guid/b0df67c8-a2d0-4a8a-98b3-01ad0b6423ed Sun, 14 Aug 2022 18:34:00 -0000 01:13:13 Well, Prime Season 1 is officially in the rear view. Did we think it was good? Did it hold up in 2022? Yes! We also discuss the odd place the Aligned continuity holds in Transformers canon, what we think the future holds, and also give out some wonderful awards. And of course, we reveal what series we're covering for season 3! You'll NEVER guess what Nero picked! NEVER!

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]]> What if Earth was a Eucharist yes 2 13 S2E12: Oops! All Unicrons! https://pinecast.com/guid/a7e1adef-07a7-4512-9750-10048d1bc811 Sun, 07 Aug 2022 16:40:00 -0000 01:33:21 Here we are, at the end of Transformers Prime's first season. We've got everything you could want out of an explosive season finale; huge twists, cool action, crazy alliances, and one hell of a cliffhanger. We discuss Megatron's love of drama, John Noble's typecasting as shitty fathers, insane G1 plots, and plug some fanfiction.

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]]> Oops! All Unicrons! yes 2 12 S2E11: fuck it, we ball https://pinecast.com/guid/9e105e1f-c9a6-4e1d-a7d9-519ec40fc552 Sun, 31 Jul 2022 18:40:00 -0000 01:26:53 This week Sam joins us to talk about episodes 22 and 23 of Prime Season 1. Ratchet gets lost in the Synthetic Energon sauce and becomes an absolute chad, but is he enough of a Cool Grandpa to defeat Megatron? No, probably not. Then we're ramping up to the season 1 finale, so its time for Megatron and Optimus to have a fated duel in front of an erupting volcano. Oh also Raf nearly dies, but don't worry he's fine.

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]]> fuck it, we ball yes 2 11 S2E10: Just A Little Birthday Bot https://pinecast.com/guid/e678887e-0212-41aa-9e42-e961f030a8ff Sun, 24 Jul 2022 18:07:00 -0000 01:42:33 This week we're joined by Ruby from Konoha Crush to discuss episodes 20 and 21 of Prime season 1. We get to see Starscream at his most pathetic, Airachnid at her most catty, and Arcee at her most vengeful. Then Prime takes the old 'dumb guy gets made artificially smart' standby and imbues it with some pretty effective pathos and medical horror. We also discuss some of the most outrageous Decepticon plans from G1, and sigh dreamily when girls are kind of evil. Now come on, you wouldn't hit a Seeker on his birthday, would you? He's just a little guy!

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]]> Just A Little Birthday Bot yes 2 10 S2E9: Vehicular Slapstick https://pinecast.com/guid/e13d029b-8471-442a-bf5a-23593b9684c2 Sun, 17 Jul 2022 18:30:00 -0000 01:10:58 The worst month of Starscream's life continues this week as we cover 'Metal Attraction' and 'Rock Bottom'. After an episode of magnetized shenanigans, attraction jokes, and Airachnid saying some of the gayest shit in the show so far, its time for everyone to get trapped in a cave and have A Bad Time. Why DOES Megatron keep Starscream around? What does Bulgarian Screech Metal sound like? What is going on with the weird vibes between Jack and Arcee?? We don't have all the answers, but we DO have important information about robot MILFs.

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]]> Vehicular Slapstick yes 2 9 S2E8: Mr. Crimes https://pinecast.com/guid/3af3e281-9582-4a56-9303-1b44a6ce583e Sun, 10 Jul 2022 18:32:00 -0000 01:20:36 We've got a MECHtacular double feature this week as we cover episodes 16 and 17 of Prime season 1. Silas and his merry band of techno-fascists return, Breakdown finds himself in a Saw movie, and Airachnid shows up once more to menace her rival Arcee (in a gay way). Also the Autobots play a bit of STALKER and June realizes how big of a nerd her son is. Then she meets her future husband, who turns into a truck. Just make sure to keep an eye out for that devious Mr. Crimes while you listen, okay?

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]]> Mr. Crimes yes 2 8 S2E7: D.E.A.R.E https://pinecast.com/guid/db459bcd-63e6-4f8b-a2e2-4d7af0b32465 Sun, 03 Jul 2022 17:49:00 -0000 01:12:53 Oooooh, we've got a pair of spine chilling spook em ups for you this week; zombies, possession, and being trapped in limbo forever, just in time for...The Fourth of July? Doesn't seem quite right. Well, while we have you here we have some pamphlets about the dangers of Dark Energon to give you, and if you come to the seminar you get a free t-shirt. All you gotta do is...hey, where are ya going!?

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]]> D.E.A.R.E yes 2 7 S2E6: Stupid Sexy Spider https://pinecast.com/guid/1ff25c52-8a6d-4a29-9294-ea28f0713075 Sun, 26 Jun 2022 18:20:00 -0000 01:18:21 This week its all about people who wanna kill each other (but in a little bit of a fruity way). Cassidy (@whatiscosplay) joins us this week to talk about the debut of the evil sexy spider lady Airachnid, as she tries to murder Arcee (but also does the Spider-Man kiss pose so you know something else is goin on there.) Also this week, Bumblebee Psychonauts his way into Megatron's mind, Soundwave has very upsetting fingers, and Jack manages to be a nerd about camping. Isn't it kinda gay to have an arch rival? I mean, what's he arching, his back?

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]]> Stupid Sexy Spider yes 2 6 S2E5: The Ambiguously Gay Duo https://pinecast.com/guid/d698de7c-c18b-49af-a0f2-22e599988d11 Sun, 19 Jun 2022 17:58:40 -0000 01:06:43 Whoa, two new Decepticons! And they didn't die during their debut episode! AND they're gay??? What a treat! This week we're covering episodes 10 and 11. Miko learns a lot about Ancient Greece, a car flirts with a truck, Jack becomes involved in the world of illegal street racing, and we come to a horrible conclusion about Cybertronian bodily fluids.

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]]> The Ambiguously Gay Duo yes 2 5 S2E4: Dingus Duty https://pinecast.com/guid/a5cd0f24-2488-4386-b865-531512cc53af Sun, 05 Jun 2022 06:03:00 -0000 01:21:21 Amogus, dingus, and Wheeljack, oh my! This week friend of the pod Argyle joins us to talk about episodes 8 and 9 of Prime's first season. First, Bulkhead's old boyfrien-I mean war buddy pops by Earth for a visit, but Starscream sends a very sus imposter to take his place and get intel on Autobase. Then Fowler calls in with D.N.G.S trouble, and the Autobots find themselves in a mid series Fast and Furious film, complete with tech obsessed Terrorists. Oh also Arcee kills a bunch of humans in this one, but its ok because she's kind of a girlboss. Hey, you wanna go for some Lobbing after this, bro?

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]]> Dingus Duty yes 2 4 S2E3: Live Laserbeak Reaction https://pinecast.com/guid/a58b8468-5d06-4ab3-9e93-5b7507090845 Sun, 29 May 2022 18:00:00 -0000 01:15:26 I assure you Starscream and Megatron have a completely normal relationship. It is absolutely regular to straddle your boss' half dead form and whisper in his ear as you tear the only thing keeping him alive out of his chest. Also this week, Bumblebee commits one of the most heinous acts of violence on the show so far, Arcee and Optimus get a little bit cold, and Raf becomes a murderer. Remember. just because Soundwave is totally silent doesn't mean he isn't plotting your cancellation at all times.

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]]> Live Laserbeak Reaction yes 2 3 S2E2: Doctor GILF https://pinecast.com/guid/e84588e1-dc74-4073-b2c5-7775d010f1db Sat, 14 May 2022 18:09:00 -0000 01:12:48 This week we're finishing 5 part premier of Transformers Prime, Darkness Rising. A lot happens in these two episodes, including Optimus tapping into his Bayverse incarnation's rampant bloodlust, Megatron using Starscream like a stress ball, the children nearly dying a whole lot, and Fowler being tortured so much he gets drunk. Anyway you don't care about that, you want to hear about the Prime DILF rankings and discussion about how Soundwave Likes To Watch. RIP Megatron, who certainly won't be coming back ever.

Also we forgot to mention it in the actual episode but we're gonna be off next week.

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]]> Doctor GILF yes 2 2 S2E1: Shaft Tricks https://pinecast.com/guid/abcab84e-6ac1-4021-9abd-5dd5f589705c Sun, 08 May 2022 18:24:00 -0000 01:51:12 We're back with an all new season, this time covering the first season of Transformers Prime! We bring you a podcast covering Darkness Rising parts 1-3 that is nearly twice as long as the episodes themselves because Prime is Just That Good. Join us as we talk about the dangers of using devil drugs, Starscream's bottom coding, and how a 12 year old can hack into the Pentagon. And Cliffjumper is there! The whole time! As a perfectly alive guy!

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]]> Shaft Tricks yes 2 1 S1E26: A Farewell To Arm(ada)s https://pinecast.com/guid/2265abf1-4908-4d5a-8f5d-b5de13f34879 Sun, 24 Apr 2022 18:23:00 -0000 01:21:23 Wow, its time to wrap up our first season already! Nero and Audrey look back at Transformers Armada, talking through its ups and downs while considering its strange little place in the larger Transformers franchise. Then, we go ahead and officially introduce the next season's subject; Transformers Prime season one! We go over this groundbreaking show's beginnings, its place in franchise lore, and talk about how it warped Audrey's mind irreparably. Stupid sexy Starscream...

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]]> A Farewell To Arm(ada)s yes 1 26 S1E25: Kaonian Tuant https://pinecast.com/guid/ef83a710-8202-47e2-ab3f-7426b593c803 Sun, 17 Apr 2022 18:36:00 -0000 01:16:58 We've reached the end of our first season! It's time to finally deal with Unicron once and for all! (Please ignore the other two shows within this trilogy that also deal with Unicron, please). Optimus and Galvatron contend with the Chaos Bringer personally, and it gets very fleshy very fast. Of course, even after all that is through, there's still the matter of Prime and Galvatron's fated duel to be had. So join us on this ultra action packed, budget blowing, robo-homoerotic finale, and maybe you'll learn something about what does and doesn't count as a 'thrussy' along the way.

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]]> Kaonian Tuant yes 1 25 S1E24: So Long Sweet Squidhead https://pinecast.com/guid/f9dcf184-122b-481c-8140-b4c632fc77b5 Sun, 10 Apr 2022 16:29:00 -0000 01:00:56 Dearest listeners, we are gathered here once more to mourn a beloved(?) Decepticon's passing. He was a brilliant tactician [citation needed], an unmatched warrior [citation needed], and the remarkable shape of his head brought joy to many, including us. That's right, Thrust is gone...but not forgotten. Oh and some other important stuff too happened I guess. Anyway, y'all heard about this pants4pants relationship stuff? Shockwave and Jetfire are trying to make it work!

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]]> So Long Sweet Squidhead yes 1 24 My Life As A Podcast Robot https://pinecast.com/guid/d1b5a301-df08-4f0b-acd9-89e5ab6cf25d Fri, 01 Apr 2022 17:58:00 -0000 00:55:44 We're back with another episode of your favorite podcast chronicling the classic Nick show MLAATR in reverse order! This week's show covers episodes 7 and 6 of the second season, including some real classics like "Killgore" and "Armagedroid"! And of course, all the jokes you've come to expect from MLAAPR. You know, your favorite show about robots who can turn into other things!

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]]> yes bonus S1E23: The Ballad of Gooey Gus https://pinecast.com/guid/7e02513f-f986-491f-bfba-1cc394ed3e91 Sun, 27 Mar 2022 18:30:00 -0000 01:08:55 Dear listeners, I have sad news. This is not a podcast episode. This is a funeral service for our favorite edgy anime bot. Good ol Starscream has been through a lot; gaslighting, swapping loyalties, being betrayed an uncountable number of times, getting sand everywhere when he went to Mars, but rest assured he is finally at peace. He fought the moon, and the moon won. He is survived by his dickhead of a commander, the earth girl he had some kind of weird thing going on with, and a tiny robot that turns into a race car. Now let us close our eyes and have a moment of prayer in his memory. And please, under no circumstances should you google "Gooey Gus."

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]]> The Ballad of Gooey Gus yes 1 23 S1E22: Wheelie's Wild Ride https://pinecast.com/guid/ddf0796b-28b0-4205-a6f5-1813f72c91bb Sun, 20 Mar 2022 18:02:00 -0000 01:10:17 Betrayal! Time travel! Daring solo missions! GOOPY EGG SACS! This episode of Prime Cuts has it all! As we spiral ever closer to the end of Armada more of Unicron's ancient machinations are brought to light, alliances are forged, friendship is rekindled, and Thrust acts like a huge dipshit. Also, we add another ride to our Cybertronian Theme park, discuss Butterfly Effect type situations, and wonder if you can take your towel in the shower with you.

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]]> Wheelie's Wild Ride yes 1 22 S1E21: Going Chimp Mode https://pinecast.com/guid/60b54dc4-d42b-492b-bc78-46e585fa4729 Sun, 13 Mar 2022 19:00:00 -0000 01:32:17 This week the foul machinations of Unicron have us seeing double with the introduction of an evil Optimus clone that's basically a giant gorilla with magic powers and a huge sword. Bad news is that all our pals get absolutely curbstomped. Good news is they have fresh drip (THAT YOU CAN NOW BUY IN STORES)! Then we finally make it to Cybertron and things seem pretty dire, especially with the giant black hole attempting to consume the entire planet. Also, does anybody know where Optimus got those new guns from, because we sure don't.

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]]> Going Chimp Mode yes 1 21 S1E20: WWOPD? https://pinecast.com/guid/cf231f89-5663-4b37-a131-91c1dbd27d36 Sun, 06 Mar 2022 19:30:00 -0000 01:22:11 Excuse me, but do you have time to hear about our lord and savior Optimus Prime? Did you know that after three episodes he was risen? Well here, I have a podcast for you to listen to. This week we're covering episodes 41 and 42 of Transformers Armada. Things are picking up as we enter the final stage of this show. Unicron is FINALLY mentioned by name, the Autobots build the galaxy's most phallic spaceship, the Minicons perform a Christian Space Miracle, and Rad's father displays some of the most negligent parenting in anime history, which is honestly quite impressive. Now then, I have this copy of the Covenant of Primus to give you...

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]]> WWOPD? yes 1 20 S1E19: You...are a freak https://pinecast.com/guid/dccb16b0-c955-4e4b-bb11-1fe4db4401c6 Sun, 27 Feb 2022 19:31:00 -0000 01:24:07 Armada is hurtling towards its conclusion, so you know what that means; its time to kill Optimus Prime! There's nothing that dude loves more than a heroic sacrifice that leaves a generation of children traumatized. We've also got some primo Thrust and Megatron scenes, cool space stunts, extreme angst, and a final act mcguffin out of nowhere! Join us as we record one of the MANY deaths of Optimus Prime this week on Prime Cuts!

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]]> You...are a freak yes 1 19 S1E18: Going Palpatine Mode https://pinecast.com/guid/61bcefcc-db9a-4276-bfa2-cc826b1d8c08 Sun, 13 Feb 2022 19:37:00 -0000 01:13:01 Sorry folks, when there's a planet destroying spaceship in play the Star Wars references just sort of happen. This week Starscream reaches the "double-doublecross" stage of his Sasuke arc, Alexis learns what depression is, Thrust tells Starscream the tale of Darth Plagueis, and Megatron lovingly strokes the Requiem Blaster. We are officially in The Good Bit of Transformers Armada, so strap the fuck in.

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]]> Going Palpatine Mode yes 1 18 S1E17: Tantrum Hole https://pinecast.com/guid/b7469e3b-0b47-4c31-b7b5-3916d0417e33 Sun, 06 Feb 2022 19:30:00 -0000 01:29:40 Starscream is in what the experts (us) call his 'Sasuke Phase' this week, as he angsts about his changing loyalties, clashing with the Autobot philosophy, and getting his entire ass pulled off by Tidal Wave. Also features exciting base invasions, Mars field trips with your snippy ex-boyfriend, Sideways putting all sorts of ideas in Thrust's cone-shaped head, and Tidal Wave being too thicc for the Tantrum Hole.

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]]> Tantrum Hole yes 1 17 S1E16: Eraserhead Baby: Origins https://pinecast.com/guid/bb6e169f-671b-4826-85ea-ee7d39bc54f1 Sun, 30 Jan 2022 19:21:00 -0000 01:22:12 We're in the back half of Transformers Armada now and we've finally reached what we like to call The Good Stuff(tm). This week they kill a bot on live TV, Sideways continues to be a creepypasta, Optimus gives Shockwave top surgery, Starscream finally becomes the tragic anime edgelord he was always meant to be, and we lose all of our subscribers by posting Megatron/Thrust on main. Speaking of Thrust, did you know he was the Eraserhead baby? Well don't worry, we'll tell you all about it.

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]]> Eraserhead Baby: Origins yes 1 16 S1E15: Ya rascal! https://pinecast.com/guid/9a00af8b-ce8b-40ba-8791-2c4d9256c3df Sun, 23 Jan 2022 19:21:00 -0000 01:36:41 Strap in for a jam packed triple episode edition of Prime Cuts as we cover Armada's only true two parter. The kids spirit away the Space Minicon Team for some Home Alone type nonsense, then Hot Shot gets a blast from the past. Also, Alexis is set down her path to become the first Gamer Girl President, we talk at length about Wheeljack's incredibly stupid weapons, make far too many Metal Gear jokes, and discuss how quickly Starscream would be arrested for fraud if he was the manager of a Cinnabon.

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]]> Ya rascal! yes 1 15 S1E14: BIG BOY SEASON https://pinecast.com/guid/158860c1-8a2a-4074-b6e3-78d27dc4c135 Sun, 16 Jan 2022 19:30:00 -0000 00:54:41 We're all about answering BIG questions this week. What if a guy was huge? What if there were three small guys who could turn into a gun but they didn't want to be a gun? What if Thrust's head had to be censored for publication? Why did G1 Megatron keep Starscream around anyway? All these and many more BIG questions shall be answered, in a BIG way.

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]]> BIG BOY SEASON yes 1 14 S1E13: Jetfire: Become Pants https://pinecast.com/guid/49a56a65-c5ab-44be-8572-f3b5c39ce797 Sun, 02 Jan 2022 19:28:00 -0000 01:17:59 In every relationship there are two kinds of people; the one who wears the pants, and the one who is the pants. Jetfire is apparently the latter. This week we learn all about our newest Autobot recruit, and how good he is at fighting in midair (and how bad the animators are at animating it). Then someone finally says "Hey, the guy named 'Doubleface' is probably some kind of weird traitor, right?" The events that ensue can only be described as 'some creepypasta shit'.

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]]> Jetfire: Become Pants yes 1 13 S1E12: Doubleface's Dick Smasher https://pinecast.com/guid/77e4557d-870a-487e-a6c9-e3feaa97666b Sun, 26 Dec 2021 19:00:15 -0000 01:11:48 Folks, the show was good and fun this week! The kids get sucked into a vaporwave album cover by Sideways and see all sorts of insane shit, and then the worlds most fucked up looking guy arrives to take tactical command of the Decepticons. Oh and also his name is THRUST. So come join us as we roast the shit out of this weird posh squidhead this week on PRIME CUTS.

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]]> Doubleface's Dick Smasher yes 1 12 S1E11: You Should Report This To Decepticon HR https://pinecast.com/guid/266d3db3-a881-4412-9371-c983f0de12aa Sun, 19 Dec 2021 19:30:00 -0000 01:11:07 Have you ever wondered what Eddy from Ed Edd n Eddy would sound like giving an impassioned cry for peace and understanding in the middle of a war zone? Well, now you know! This week Megatron displays a startling amount of competency, and immediately throws it all away by trying to beat Starscream to death and getting absolutely bamboozled by his resident super trustworthy guy Sideways. And I'm sure this will have absolutely no damaging psychological effects on Starscream AT ALL! No siree.

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]]> You Should Report This To Decepticon HR yes 1 11 S1E10: These Guys Are Hard https://pinecast.com/guid/195aae64-d0e8-400a-911f-a1aeb4372a1d Sun, 12 Dec 2021 19:30:00 -0000 01:12:10 This is an episode full of HARD GUYS doing HARD STUFF. We get a new cast member, who is obviously COOL and SUPER HARD. We got a new Mini-Con weapon which is a REALLY HARD shield. We got an old man over here who goes HARD AS HELL while the animation completely falls apart around him (hey don't you know that animating flight is HARD?!) Oh, and Sparkplug speaks english, which is mostly just kinda creepy and weird. This week on Prime Cuts, ALL THESE GUYS ARE HARD.

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]]> These Guys Are Hard yes 1 10 S1E9: SHAAAUUUUUUN!! https://pinecast.com/guid/2effe082-77f1-4b06-8875-10a170bbda1e Sun, 05 Dec 2021 19:28:00 -0000 01:14:00 Wow, a kid named Shaun being in grave danger around a bunch of construction equipment while his dad repeatedly yells his name? Somebody add "plagiarizing transformers anime" to David Cage's long long list of crimes. Also we get to know our new grumpy grandpa Scavenger, Carlos reveals the true depths of his stupidity, and Megatron beats the shit out of his troops for literally no raisin. Everybody grab your controllers and Press X to Shaun, but watch out for Hot Shot's secret sleeper spank technique!

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]]> SHAAAUUUUUUN!! yes 1 9 S1E8: Starscream Can't Melt Steel Beams https://pinecast.com/guid/e52b205d-e7a9-4ce0-ba3d-df4b6b32fee3 Sun, 28 Nov 2021 19:30:00 -0000 01:26:39 It's a revolving door of allegiances this week as Sideways "shockingly" reveals himself to be a turncoat, Scavenger shockingly reveals himself to be a double agent, and Megatron gaslights the fuck out of his own troops for fun. Also have you ever wondered what Pokemon the cast of Armada would be, or if the Decepticons were at all involved in 9/11? Good news, we have answers for you! Keep up, Turbonerds.

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]]> Starscream Can't Melt Steel Beams yes 1 8 S1E7: Nobodys Doin' It Like Scavenger https://pinecast.com/guid/de9d723f-451b-4d8a-85d4-86a743d43a3d Sun, 21 Nov 2021 20:00:00 -0000 01:15:36 It's a wild one this week as Armada shifts into full macguffin finding gear. We get two new additions to the cast, an anime sword duel, a CONSPICUOUS MOTORCYCLE_,_ and further proof that people in New York do not give a SHIT about giant robots standing around. Also, have you been wondering 'Gee, how do these robots fuck'? Well good news! Audrey will tell you all about it. Come for the badass bulldozer boys, stay to figure out what the fuck 'getting spiked' means, it's Prime Cuts!

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]]> Nobodys Doin' It Like Scavenger yes 1 7 S1E6: Judith Shuttler https://pinecast.com/guid/91d6b379-a875-42e2-925e-dfa4fc47cde8 Sun, 14 Nov 2021 19:49:55 -0000 01:32:15 This week on Prime Cuts: Armada finally figures out what a plot is and decides to have one, Rad receives a huge loredump from Optimus, we question the stealth capabilities of 40 foot tall tank robots, Red Alert proves to be a grade A sicko, and everybody is after a Very Cool Sword. Also Starscream has a very bad day. Again.

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]]> Judith Shuttler yes 1 6 S1E5: Can't Escape The Orichalcos https://pinecast.com/guid/f54861dd-5702-4a73-b8d4-cb636fadbc8f Sun, 07 Nov 2021 18:59:00 -0000 01:05:50 This week the show finally develops a plot beyond "find some guys" as we get some lore on these Mini-Con weapons from a long dead Atlantean Princess, whom the boys have a huge crush on of course. We also hear Alexis' thoughts on infrastructure planning, get menaced by a New York sewer crane, and tack another near death experience onto these poor kids. Optimus you GOTTA hire a babysitter or something, man.

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]]> Can't Escape The Orichalcos yes 1 5 S1E4: Barrel Bustin' Through https://pinecast.com/guid/4b876c78-228b-430c-8aa7-630c6da0e7f8 Sun, 31 Oct 2021 19:45:00 -0000 01:02:03 Grab your Touch Tone Telephones listeners, because we're diving into some ancient aliens this this week on Transformers Armada. Also, Optimus, my man, my guy, we GOTTA talk about you bringing a bunch of 12 year olds onto the battlefield. It's just not viable dude. You KNOW Megatron has the Child Torture Orb in his back pocket. On this week's episode learn all about Egyptian spider droids, the diplomatic capabilities of potato chips, and a lizard that shoots blood out of its face!

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]]> Barrel Bustin' Through yes 1 4 S1E3: Yakkity Sax (Electro Remix) https://pinecast.com/guid/bf0ca544-7f3b-4465-bedd-70f11f7e2fb9 Sun, 24 Oct 2021 18:00:00 -0000 01:08:41 Transformers Armada is a land of contrasts. Sometimes you get an episode where a character's ambitions and goals are fulfilled in a satisfying way and our heroes fight to uphold the safety of nature. Other times you get a fucking clownshow about carnival hi jinks. This week hear all about Starscream having a good time for once, Rad's surprising turn as an environmentalist, Hot Shot itching to shoot a gun at Billy and Fred, and the creation of a brand new carnival-ride based combiner team straight from the minds of your hosts.

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]]> Yakkity Sax (Electro Remix) yes 1 3 S1E2: Starscream Cringe Compilation https://pinecast.com/guid/91d02942-75ea-4068-a3e5-b634bffc9ac0 Sun, 17 Oct 2021 19:00:00 -0000 With the setup out of the way Armada can finally focus on what REALLY matters; finding little guys. As they go through episodes 4 and 5 of Transformers Armada Nero and Audrey ask the tough questions, such as: Is it wise to bring three middle schoolers into a robot war zone? What part does a Fusion Cannon play in Cybertronian lovemaking? Is Optimus a Dad or an Uncle? Why is Starscream Like That? The thrilling answers to all these questions and more are contained within. Listen at your own peril!

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]]> Starscream Cringe Compilation yes 1 2 S1E1: Megatron's Special Little Guy https://pinecast.com/guid/ec74435e-d745-472e-b5a6-2f47c0cd65a4 Sun, 10 Oct 2021 17:20:00 -0000 02:04:23 Don't you hate it when you're just hangin' with your boys and you accidentally reignite a long dormant civil war between factions of space faring transforming robots? Really bums me out bro. This week we're covering Transformers Armada episodes 1-3, and trying to talk about the episodes we watched between tangents about other Transformers media. Beware the consequences of White Boy Wednesday, and don't worry too much about the concept of a custom built labor class of robots. It's fine. Don't worry about it. It's FINE.

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]]> Megatron's Special Little Guy yes 1 1 Episode 0: Starscream is Always Good https://pinecast.com/guid/41f07ca9-29fa-47d2-b3cc-e80743fea489 Sun, 03 Oct 2021 19:00:00 -0000 00:40:59 In the inaugural episode of their trip across the decades of toyetic Transformers television, Nero and Audrey talk about their histories with the franchise. That mostly means going on tangents about the IDW comics and Transformers Prime, and talking about who their favorite franchise character is (Spoilers, its Starscream). Tune in next week for the true beginning of our Transformers Armada adventure!

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