Content warnings: fictional child death, child endangerment, discussion of sexual content, police brutality

Bonus Episode 1 covers The Boss Baby (2017) and Mac and Me (1988)

Join us for our tragically first episode as we subject ourselves to the viewing of The Boss Baby (2017) and Mac and Me (1988) for reasons that will only become "clear" in time.

Catch our official podcast launch with episode 1 covering the first 80 pages of Homestuck on 4/13/25!

Lexia Velika - Host, Editor, Designer Ian - Host ??? - Theme Song

Content warnings: animal death mention

Episode 1 covers pages 1 to 80 of Homestuck.

Welcome to Sburban Spectators! Start the Homestuck journey with us by learning about our respective experiences (or lack thereof) with the webcomic Homestuck and learn a little bit about the comic before we dive into the first 80 pages and become no longer stuck at home.

Lexia Velika - Host, Editor, Designer Ian - Host ??? - Theme Song

Content warnings: discussion of ableism, race, and representation

Episode 2 covers pages 81 to 248 of Homestuck.

The journey continues with episode 2 as we complete ACT 1. This episode includes confession of Homestuck-related gay awakenings.

Lexia Velika - Host, Editor, Designer Ian - Host Special mystery friend of the show (???) - Theme Song

Content warnings: mention of animal death, mentions of ableism and racism

Episode 3 covers pages 248 to 495 of Homestuck.

The episode wherein discussion of SBaHJ and outside omens curse us.

Lexia Velika - Host, Editor, Designer Ian - Host Mystery friend of the show (???) - Theme Song

Content warnings: mention of child neglect and mentions of ableism and racism.

Episode 4 covers pages 496 to 758 of Homestuck.

The episode in which we dive into the end of Act 2 and see the future that awaits our Earth. Also Lil Cal related fear increases.

Lexia Velika - Host, Editor, Designer Ian - Host Mystery friend of the show - Theme Song

This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

Content warnings: discussion of ableist/homophobic language, graphic description of loose teeth, and animal death

Episode 5 covers pages 759 to 979 of Homestuck.

On to Act 3 where we meet our final kid: the whimsical & deeply strange Jade Harley. Featuring surprise early troll appearance, corn conspiracy, memories of accidental spoilers, & more.

Lexia Velika - Host, Editor, Designer Ian - Host Special mystery friend of the show (???) - Theme Song

Content warnings: mention of child neglect, alcoholism, underage sexual harassment, racial slurs.

Episode 6 covers pages Pages 980 to 1153 of Homestuck.

In which after a long delay due to the Baby Jade curse (on our end & a day in Real Time), Lexia Velika talks a bit too much about Pathologic at the start. Let it be known that Lexia Velika has changed their view on Pathologic/Homestuck crossover content in the time since this recording for they are no longer grieving. Also featuring Ian continuing to ponder their developing transfem Dave headcanon.

Lexia Velika - Host, Editor, Designer Ian - Host Arkzyd - Theme Song

Content warnings: discussion of racist jokes, sexual content.

Episode 7 covers pages Pages 1154 to 1357 of Homestuck.

The intermission is here! If you are reading this, congratulations for not skipping the intermission! Warning for Horrid Inexplicable Audio Crimes ranging from Lexia Velika's mic geiger counter ticking up to Ian's ghostly echo & other torturous noises they willfully made. We talk about this weird side story & end with the question: what Sisyphean torment suits YOU best, dear listener?

Lexia Velika - Host, Editor, Designer Ian - Host Arkzyd - Theme Song

Content warnings: discussion of ableist slurs.

Episode 8 covers pages Pages 1358 to 1596 of Homestuck.

Back to the kids as trolling intensifies featuring new future friends (...or foes??). Horny blathering about the Black Queen was greatly suppressed at a high cost. Beware end of episode speculative discussion of a hypothetical Homestuck x MtG set.

Lexia Velika - Host, Editor, Designer Ian - Host Arkzyd - Theme Song

Content warnings: discussions of child endangerment, death, and gaslighting.

Episode 9 covers pages Pages 1597 to 1801 of Homestuck.

In which timeline nonsense gets even more nonlinear, we meet more trolls, doomed timelines and the ever evolving Jack Noir. Come Pchooo to Skaia with us and consider sequence breaking to meet the denizen early, for shenanigans.

Lexia Velika - Host, Editor (normally), Designer Ian - Host, Editor (this one) Arkzyd - Theme Song

Content warnings: references to real life mental/physical health struggles

As a consequence of the time vortex - this episode features spoilers through the start of Act 6 of Homestuck.

Other moderate spoilers for Pathologic Classic & The Silt Verses Season 3

(Also: major spoilers for Lexia Velika's - as of time of recording - unreleased webcomic/MSPFA Mythoslain)

Bonus Episode 2 covers OCs generated by our brains

In honor of Karkat Vantas' Wriggling Day we talk about fantrolls! Listen to Lexia Velika infodump about their work in progress webcomic/MSPFA Mythoslain (to be released August 2025) & Ian's first fantrolling steps with the icon Canopa of ahead of her podcast origins.

Correction: Fraymotifs are not strictly cross-aspect combo abilities as suggested in episode, there are single aspect fraymotifs

Lexia Velika - Host, Editor, Designer Ian - Host Arkzyd - Theme Song cmusounddesign (FreeSound) - Closing Sound Effect

Content warnings: discussions of child death and gun violence.

Episode 10 covers pages 1802 to 1988 of Homestuck.

Ectobiology made easy. Watch as we close some loops, see the exiles reach their post-apocalypse, create our primary cast from goo, and meet a super bunny from the future. Along the way Jack Noir begins a rampage and the origins of Bec are revealed.

Lexia Velika - Host, (not this episode) Editor, Designer Ian - Host, Editor (this episode) Arkzyd - Theme Song Sound Effect - Alex_Jauk (Pixabay)

Content warnings: discussions about slurs, bipolar disorder, physical disability, drug use, and death of fictional animals.

Episode 11 covers pages 1989 to 2154 of Homestuck.

Welcome to Hivebent (Act 5), where we get to meet some of the iconic trolls and see their culture and planet first hand. See if you can spot an icon in her first pesterlog appearance (HINT: she did nothing wrong). Sit back with some sopor slime pies and name your self esteem with us until things go horribly wrong for everyone you know and will ever know.

Lexia Velika - Host, Editor (not this one), Designer Ian - Host, Editor (this episode) Arkzyd - Theme Song

Content warnings: discussions of neurodivergence, ableist slurs, racism, death of pets, physical injuries, grooming, nonconsensual erotic roleplay, and emotional manipulation.

Episode 12 covers pages 2155 to 2295 of Homestuck.

In which we meet Nepeta and nothing else important happens. (False of course, this is the big Vriska episode where Ian tries to therapize Vriska like a darn fool, and we meet nearly all the trolls that remain.)

Lexia Velika - Host, Editor (not this one), Designer Ian - Host, Editor (this one) Arkzyd - Theme Song

Content warnings: discussions on compulsory heterosexuality, ableism, ableist slurs, bullying, mentions of genocide, colonialism, homophobic slurs

Episode 13 covers pages 2296 to 2625 of Homestuck.

Note: Light spoilers for 'Harrow the Ninth' by Tamysn Muir, second book of the Locked Tomb series

In which we travel under the sea, learn important quadrant related information, and witness the messes and revenge cycles leading into the end of the act. What quadrant are you in with us? None, I refuse to be that parasocial!

Lexia Velika - Host, Editor (not this one), Designer Ian - Host, Editor (this one) Arkzyd - Theme Song

Content warnings: references to substance/drug use, discussion of ableist slurs

Episode 14 The Return covers pages 2626 to 2847 of Homestuck.

The time vortex shrinks! We return from our POV to continue with Homestuck-ing it after myriad changes, some of which have aged poorly. In which John listens and learns from Vriska, Rose starts breaking things, Terezi closes a loop, Gamzee has a crisis of faith, and we get the iconic Kid Ship Diagram. Shout out the Genesis of Canopa the fan troll, explored in todays episode as she burst from Ian's forehead fully formed like Pallas Athena.

The cut tier list mentioned in episode can be found soon after release by becoming a patron at the Novice tier or higher!

Lexia Velika - Host, Editor (1/5 this one), Designer Ian - Host, Editor (4/5 this one) Arkzyd - Theme Song

Content warnings: mentions of suicide, bipolar disorder, substance use, car accidents, ableist slurs, teeth horror, and Harry Potter

Episode 15 covers pages 2848 to 3074 of Homestuck.

In which we struggle to remain on task, talk about Pathologic 3 Quarantine and then oh yes Homestuck things. Meet horrorterrors, argue with yourself, see Jade mess up courtesy of Vriska, plan a doomed mission, shame Tavros, and forget to look out for the stairs.

Featuring the Troll Version of Pixar's Monster's Inc.

Lexia Velika - Host, Editor (not this one), Designer Ian - Host, Editor (this one) Arkzyd - Theme Song

Content warnings: talk of death and dismemberment, discussions of trauma, mind control, suicide, racism, mental health and diagnosis, borderline personality disorder, psychosis, and drowning.

Episode 16 covers pages 3075 to 3300 of Homestuck.

In which God Tier is introduced, death becomes Vriska, Terezi and Dave play time trauma, Jade goes shopping and crucially Vriska did nothing wrong... probably. We'll talk about it.

That being said Vriska is like an awe-inspiring painting of the sea and Ian is willing and able to justify their position.

Spoilers for the video game SOMA and horribly paraphrased comic history of John Constantine and Hellblazer

Lexia Velika - Host, Editor (not this one), Designer Ian - Host, Editor (this one) Arkzyd - Theme Song

Content warnings: teeth trauma, suicide, bipolar disorder, mentions of the Harry Potter Series, transphobia, grooming, strangulation, discussions of mass child death.

Episode 17 covers pages 3301 to 3562 of Homestuck.

In which we talk about Homestuck longer than we've ever talked before. Learn about universe frog breeding, kill your darling, and examine the nature of troll relationships, death, murder investigations, and long dead ancestors. Grab your rainbow drinker fiction and your copy of the Troll DSM-5 TR and buckle in for a long one.

Lexia Velika - Host, Editor (not this one), Designer Ian - Host, Editor (this one) Arkzyd - Theme Song

Content warnings: discussions of grooming, suicidal ideation, and manipulation

Episode 18 covers pages 3563 to 3763 of Homestuck.

In which we engage in dream bubble flashbacks/flashpresents, lose control of the narrative to a smug cue ball, and learn about game mechanics such as The Scratch. Rose goes GRIMDARK, Liv Tyler brings tidings from a mysterious pen pal, and John and Rose take on Noir and Terezi is faced with an impossible choice. Disc One ends and Disc Two is looking a little messed up, hopefully a dubious spherical guy can fix it for us soon.

Lexia Velika - Host, Editor (not this one), Designer Ian - Host, Editor (this one) Arkzyd - Theme Song

Additional sound effect from Pixabay user FreeSoundsxx

Content warnings: mentions of suicide, murder, incest, death of pets.

Episode 19 covers pages 3764 to 3973 of Homestuck.

In which we go all nonlinear. By using a scrapbook and headers we bear witness to the death of a particular firebrand in our narrative, watch some tragic dream conversations, have some sprites meet, and witness some comedy of errors nonsense as the little guy team takes the tumor to its right place.

This is a dense one with lots of little teases for the future so stick with us as the plot starts to reach a climax (or does it).

Lexia Velika - Host, Editor (not this one), Designer Ian - Host, Editor (this one) Arkzyd - Theme Song

Content warnings: Discussions of suicidal ideation, grooming, racism, slavery, torture, body horror, necrophilia, slurs.

Episode 20 covers pages 3974 to 4112 of Homestuck.

In which things CASCADE out of hand [PUN CREDIT: Ian SburbanSpectators 2025 - direct all complaints to sburbanspectators@gmail.com subject line "To Sinful Ian"], we wrap up various loose threads and prepare for the inevitable... The Scratch is here.

Lexia Velika - Host, Editor (not this one), Designer Ian - Host, Editor (this one) Arkzyd - Theme Song

Content warnings: discussions of underage drinking, mind control, taxidermy, and suicide.

Episode 21 covers pages 4113 to 4284 of Homestuck.

Act 6: Meet the new Alpha Kids: the inquisitive Jane, the lovably dorky Jake, the day drinking Mystery Lalonde, and the orange themed Mystery Strider. But they don't seem to be alone as a mysterious observer talks to them with kindness and the looming threat of The Condesce is quickly established in our brave new world. (Also - you get to see the back in time announcement of Lexia Velika's Mythoslain).

Lexia Velika - Host, Designer Ian - Host, Editor Arkzyd - Theme Song

Content warnings: mentions of incest, death, gun violence, and explosives.

Episode 22 covers pages 4285 to 4468 of Homestuck.

In which we go to the first of many mini intermissions and watch our classic kids take the same journey apart to the new universe. The remaining Alpha kids are officially introduced and Jane considers her luck or lack their of as the assassins in dreams make their mark. Come see what these Roxy and Dirk kids are all about.

Lexia Velika - Host, Former Editor, Designer Ian - Host, Editor Arkzyd - Theme Song WEMIDA- Waiting for the End - Quizzing Voting Background Music by Michael Ihde from Pixabay

Content warnings: discussions of death of pets, underage drinking, lewd acts with inanimate objects, and decapitation.

Episode 23 covers pages 4469 to 4666 of Homestuck.

In which Dirk and Roxy's lives are explored, relationships and hopes are dashed, we meet a mysterious second uu and two new trolls, and a secret time twist is revealed before Jane enters the game proper.

Lexia Velika - Host, Former Editor, Designer Ian - Host, Editor Arkzyd - Theme Song

Content warnings: discussions of grooming, suicide, incest, and grief.

Episode 24 covers pages 4667 to 4819 of Homestuck.

In which (with a weapon to Ian's head) we get into some Act 6 Intermission 2 shenanigans. Catch up with Spades Slick, Hussie, and Ms. Paint. Whirl around to understand quadrant vacillations/self-hate, and don't forget to stick around and meet our first Alpha trolls. Dead though they might be, they sure have plenty to say!

Lexia Velika - Host, Former Editor, Designer Ian - Host, Editor Arkzyd - Theme Song

Content warnings: mentions of substance use, pornography, necrophilia, death of a loved one, facism, death camps, racism, suicide, abusive relationships, ableist slurs, car crashes (with fake sounds).

Episode 25 covers pages 4820 to 5028 of Homestuck.

In which more dead trolls become active in the plot, the dread future unfolds, we draw "naughty images," get the tale of how Meenah messed things up, and complete the Liz Tyler Bunny time loop at last. Also, Jack Noir is in strange nonsense adventure game jail for what its worth.

For more supplemental information mentioned in the episode and following appendix, see our site.

Lexia Velika - Host, Former Editor, Designer Ian - Host, Editor Arkzyd - Theme Song musicmasta1 [Freesound] - Ending sound effect 1 CGEffex [Freesound] - Ending sound effect 2

Content warnings: mentions of necrophilia, limb removal, mass death, misogyny, and 9/11.

Episode 26 covers pages 5029 to 5262 of Homestuck.

In which we learn that losing at chess is plot relevant while Dirk activates his cool guy plans and really gets ahead. Oh what is this? Our cruel villain reveals himself (a blind idiot god no less) as Lord English becomes what he always desired, himself. He's already here I fear.

Lexia Velika - Host, Former Editor, Designer Ian - Host, Editor Arkzyd - Theme Song

Content warnings: mentions or discussions of suicide, relationship infidelity, loss of agency, mind control, dubious consent, necrophilia, fantasy racism, racially coded language, sexism, ableism, bullying, slut shaming, and transphobia.

Episode 27 Part 1 covers page 5293 of Homestuck. [note: summary covers pages 5263 to 5437]

In which Lexia purges the Beforan troll poison as they talk about Kankri and we fail to contain our discourse to a reasonable timescale. WELCOME TO OPENBOUND (Cursed Edition).

This discussion covers Act 6, Intermission 3 dealing only with the first Openbound game where we, as Meenah, meet Kankri, Porrim, and Latula. We do mention other characters and elements of the rest of the Intermission as it relates to the discussion, but we only truly get through this first game.

Lexia Velika - Host, Former Editor, Designer Ian - Host, Editor Arkzyd - Theme Song

freesound_community (Pixabay) - Bonk Sound Effect

Content warnings: discussions or mentions of suicide, relationship infidelity, loss of agency, mind control, dubious consent, necrophilia, fantasy racism, racially coded language, ableism, sexism, bullying, substance use, and transphobia.

Episode 27 Part 2 covers page 5264 to 5427 of Homestuck. [note: summary covers pages 5263 to 5437]

In which (After way too much suffering IRL) we complete the Openbound and the Beforan Troll Saga. We meet some trolls, witness the 3 big plans for stopping Lord English, and Vriska is there (who is plot relevant again)!

Lexia Velika - Host, Former Editor, Designer Ian - Host, Editor Arkzyd - Theme Song

Content warnings: discussions of suicide, fat shaming, loss of agency, mind control, ableism, sexism, bullying, gun violence, substance use, and transphobia.

Episode 28 covers pages 5438 to 5625 of Homestuck.

In which we return to the Alpha kids briefly, enjoy some Caliborn divergences, and watch Jake put his foot all the way into his mouth at high speeds. Tomorrow is Jane's Birthday and surely nothing can go wrong. (PS we found Calliope so we're better at this than tons of ghosts).

Lexia Velika - Host, Former Editor, Designer Ian - Host, Editor Arkzyd - Theme Song

Car Crash Sound Effect by u_mgq59j5ayf from Pixabay

Note: This episode contents mild, vague spoilers for Pathologic 3.

Content warnings: suicide, racism, homophobia, misogyny, substance use

Episode 29 covers pages 5626 to 5926 of Homestuck.

In which we (ALERT: Major Pathologic 3 diversion detected) return to our Alpha kids at their height of melodrama. Luckily for us, there's candy that fixes all of everyone's problems forever! Learn the true meaning of jujus, get convinced to gay it up with Caliborn, and start to feel mighty PEACHY.

Lexia Velika - Host, Former Editor, Designer Ian - Host, Editor Arkzyd - Theme Song

Note: This episode contents vague spoilers for the Pathologic series.

Content warnings: substance use, abusive relationships, mind control, discussions of gore

Episode 30 covers pages 5927 to 6110 of Homestuck.

THIS IS THE LEPRECHAUN SHIPPING EPISODE THE REST OF THIS DESCRIPTION IS MOSTLY IRRELEVANT.

If you even care... this is the one in which we return to DaveKat blossoming friendship time, Caliborn's minionquest for leprechauns/elves/gnomes/frog men, "unasked for" lore, and pirate adventures. Become one with all of time and space with us learning about cryptic legendary magic rings all the while.

Lexia Velika - Host, Former Editor, Designer Ian - Host, Editor Arkzyd - Theme Song

Content warnings: discussions of sexual acts, homophobia, death threats, suicide, and misogyny

Episode 31 covers pages 6111 to 6277 of Homestuck.

In which we... hold on, Ian has to talk about K-pop... ok back to HOMOSUCK?

Yeah Caliborn owns our goofy narrative now. The stage is set for various forces to converge all at once and some wonderful reunions take place as we bear witness to an abundance of Spade Slicks and "How to Draw" books.

Lexia Velika - Host, Former Editor, Designer Ian - Host, Editor Arkzyd - Theme Song

Content warnings: discussions of gun violence, substance use, suicide, incest, and sexual topics (omegaverse/fetishes)

Episode 32 covers pages 6278 to 6474 of Homestuck.

Special stardust comes to claim us all, corrupting the communication between our challenged heroes spread across different planets and places. John's displacement continues as he alone remembers events leading them there and he starts to get a little Not-Time-Travel-y with it as Grimbark!Jade chases him down.

Lexia Velika - Host, Former Editor, Designer Ian - Host, Editor Arkzyd - Theme Song

Glitch Sound Effect by timy smith from Pixabay

Content warnings: discussions of misogyny, dubious consent, mind control, colonialism, sexual harassment, and unwanted advances.

Episode 33 covers pages 6475 to 6709 of Homestuck.

In which various characters come to odd blows, a new antagonist ascends, and Caliborn continues his arts and crafts. If you were waiting for most of the remaining cast to come together, this reading pays that off. However, we do end this reading at a devastating cliffhanger!

Editor Ian's Note: some of the evil censorship audio artifacting is beyond my current fixing abilities. Treat them like your copy of Homestuck is a little degraded.

Lexia Velika - Host, Former Editor, Designer Ian - Host, Editor Arkzyd - Theme Song

APRIL FOOLS!! This is the full episode of our new SIDE RANDOM podcast Jamphage Jailers we'll do just whenever. Check out the fresh site: https://jamphagejailers.neocities.org/

Content warnings: Discussion/mentions of fictionalized slavery, pandemics, passing mentions of childhood trauma, substance abuse, misogynistic jokes

Ft. Spoilers for: Pathologic Classic, Pathologic 2, mildly for Pathologic 3, briefly for Animorphs' ending, & Homestuck

Aside mentions/talk of Mac and Me (1988), Boss Baby (2017), It Follows (2014), Rat Lore, Mythoslain, Chess, Slay the Princess

Our first episode & BONUS episode to honor April Foolishness of our shiny side podcast Jamphage Jailers wherein we get extra silly as your Jailer Lexia Velika traps the Jailed Ian in a cell for what purpose? Why explaining the lore of Pathologic in a way that reminds us that it's a mercy that Lexia Velika LOATHES improv!

Released 1 April 2026

Lexia Velika - Jailer Host, Editor, Designer

Ian - Jailed Host