The Wonder Yeerks http://noisespace.xyz/shows/the-wonder-yeerks/ Pinecast (https://pinecast.com) enBlair, Sara and Satah Blair, Sara and Satah Luna.rogers.design@gmail.com yes The Wonder Yeerks http://noisespace.xyz/shows/the-wonder-yeerks/ https://storage.pinecast.net/podcasts/covers/b0d058d4-1328-4bb6-aefa-509702c66928/The_Wonder_Yeerks_Logo.png episodic Copyright 2026 EPISODE 69: Animorphs Is Feminism Because Mommy Issues https://pinecast.com/guid/44934537-8719-410d-a8ab-ae826ff03880 Tue, 09 Feb 2021 08:48:41 -0000 01:21:37 It's Animorphs book 49, The Diversion, & we're so enthralled by it that we don't even take note of the episode number.

In addition to changing the whole dang status quo, we discuss: More Blood Pokemon!, Being The Only One On The Way To Work Who Looks Like They Recently Drowned, Rachel Giving Marco A Drunk Stick & Poke, Fuck A Circus, and Hatsune Miku Invented Pasteurisation

Referenced media: That slug is tweeting, the emo song (general cw for mid 2000s edgy ~humour along the lines of homophobia, transphobia, & self-harm jokes), a sharp animal

]]> Animorphs Is Feminism Because Mommy Issues yes 69 EPISODE 68: Jellyfish Are Like Not Super Into Politics https://pinecast.com/guid/3ead853e-f088-4e3c-921b-ac1c0ba821bf Mon, 18 Jan 2021 00:32:45 -0000 01:10:02 This was recorded just after our last episode came out four months ago. We have good intentions & I, personally, am doing something close to my best, thank you! Appropriately, it's book 48: The Return.

In addition to rat monarchy, we discuss: I Think I Just Missed You Guys, Tobias Would Identify Too Hard With Anakin, My Podcast Within-A-Podcast Crying About The Skywalkers, Jake's A Serial Killer AU, Jellyfish Are Made Of Good And Lightning

Referenced Media: Tammany Hall, I Gotta Google Some Things

]]> Jellyfish Are Like Not Super Into Politics yes 68 EPISODE 67: Oh Yeah! Uncles! https://pinecast.com/guid/34460dd2-24a8-4b95-9321-2a7e159f407d Fri, 04 Sep 2020 21:09:00 -0000 00:50:04 The six months between recording and posting this episode is a reference to the time travel in the book! Don't think about it too hard! We read book 47: The Resistance, which is about a real life war, unfortunately!!

In addition to being xtreeme teene bored, we discuss: A Camp Movie Where They Keep Cutting To Beavers Building A Dam, Doing Crosswords & Getting Into Wordplay, and Brain's A Strawberita

]]> Oh Yeah! Uncles! yes 67 EPISODE 66: Somehow In My Heart I Knew It Was Going To Be Weed Related https://noisespace.xyz/?p=6462 Mon, 02 Mar 2020 08:11:04 -0000 00:57:12 It sucks trying to capture that jaunty episode description tone when the book is just so sad. This book is so sad and so full of trauma and I don't know how to do any sort of exclamation point about it or anything. It sucks trying to capture that jaunty episode description tone when the book is just so sad. This book is so sad and so full of trauma and I don’t know how to do any sort of exclamation point about it or anything. We read Animorphs 46: The Deception and then talked about it.

In addition to I DON’T EVEN HAVE A PITHY JOKE FOR THIS SECTION, we discussed: Why Sara’s Brain Is Bigger Than Doctors’, We’re Not A Bong Family, Crossword Twitter, and Animorphs Is So Hard You Guys

Referenced media: This image for some fucking reason, not that i’m editorialising, but maybe i tried to edit out its inclusion but then it got referenced again so i had to put it back in, love my cohosts, would never judge them, wouldn’t dream of it, producing this podcast is a dream & i never think abt breaking into their homes to change their mic setups, a 1999 Toyota Yaris

]]> Somehow In My Heart I Knew It Was Going To Be Weed Related yes 66 EPISODE 65: I'm Gonna Google Snoopy; You Guys Do Whatever You Wanna Do https://noisespace.xyz/?p=6363 Sun, 09 Feb 2020 00:18:28 -0000 01:02:15 ive been soooooo sick its late & i didnt put the theme music in & im not gonna put the theme music in & im not writing a description & im not sorry. be nice to me. IT'S ANIMORPHS BOOK 45: THE REVELATION & SPOILER THE TITLE IS REFERRING TO U REALISING U... ive been soooooo sick its late & i didnt put the theme music in & im not gonna put the theme music in & im not writing a description & im not sorry. be nice to me. IT’S ANIMORPHS BOOK 45: THE REVELATION & SPOILER THE TITLE IS REFERRING TO U REALISING U HAVE TO BE NICE TO ME.

In addition to general Marco feelings, we discuss: I Came Out To Have A Bad Time & I’m Honestly Feeling Very Attacky Right Now, Animorphs Noir, They’re All Just Looking For Dads, and King Of The Hill Animorphs AU

Referenced media: Ant peekin’

]]> I'm Gonna Google Snoopy; You Guys Do Whatever You Wanna Do yes 65 EPISODE 64: Someone Walked Out Of Plato's Allegorical Cave & Was Told To Draw A Catgirl https://noisespace.xyz/?p=6279 Fri, 24 Jan 2020 16:00:32 -0000 00:56:35 About forty minutes into this episode, one of the hosts just sort of starts photoshopping pictures of kangaroos and dropping them into the groupchat. That's the energy we're bringing to the analysis. It's Animorphs book 44, The Unexpected, About forty minutes into this episode, one of the hosts just sort of starts photoshopping pictures of kangaroos and dropping them into the groupchat. That’s the energy we’re bringing to the analysis. It’s Animorphs book 44, The Unexpected, and we’re doin’ an outback daytrip.

In addition to barely parsing 143 pages of action, we discuss: I Hate Having To Confront The Person I Am, In-Universe Animorphs True Crime Podcast, I Don’t Pass The Mirror Test, and Animorphs Come To Canada

Referenced media: kangaroo tweets, kangaroo images, a snag (Australian snack)

]]> Someone Walked Out Of Plato's Allegorical Cave & Was Told To Draw A Catgirl yes 64 EPISODE 63: The Cycle Of Coffee Headcanons Ends With Us https://noisespace.xyz/?p=6213 Fri, 10 Jan 2020 16:00:31 -0000 01:23:47 Y'all... we are in the home stretch now, and it shows. It's book 43: The Test, and we're spending time with Taylor the terrible torturer & being tender about Tobias' trauma. Totally. Taxing talk. - In addition to the counteracting of jingoist propagan... Y’all… we are in the home stretch now, and it shows. It’s book 43: The Test, and we’re spending time with Taylor the terrible torturer & being tender about Tobias’ trauma. Totally. Taxing talk.

In addition to the counteracting of jingoist propaganda for kids, we discuss: Gamer Corner: Outer Wilds, Andalites Have Posable Eyes, Tobias Doesn’t Know His Pasta Shapes, Doctor Who… Uh… Period, Mallrat AU, and Brunch Drinks

]]> The Cycle Of Coffee Headcanons Ends With Us yes 63 EPISODE 62: The Dial-Up Internet Of Vegetarianism https://noisespace.xyz/?p=6168 Mon, 23 Dec 2019 17:52:08 -0000 00:56:47 We’re using this podcast to climb directly into your ears to go on a Fantastic Voyage through your blood. Sowwy!! While we’re on our vein hike, let’s talk about Animorphs book 42: The Journey. - In addition to following some kids through another kid, We’re using this podcast to climb directly into your ears to go on a Fantastic Voyage through your blood. Sowwy!! While we’re on our vein hike, let’s talk about Animorphs book 42: The Journey.
In addition to following some kids through another kid, we discuss: Doing Cars Wrong (Predominantly), Big Sit In Passenger Seat Of Truck Energy, Science Is Cowards, They Come Upon The Helmacrons, Karaoke Has Lower Stakes Except When It Doesn’t, The Theoretical Stress Of Cooking Meat, and Let Me Record Podcasts On My Fridge
]]> The Dial-Up Internet Of Vegetarianism yes 62 EPISODE 61: Will The Real Slim Goodbody Please Stand Up https://noisespace.xyz/?p=6099 Fri, 06 Dec 2019 16:00:17 -0000 01:20:09 Returning to the studio after a few months with Animorphs book forty-one, The Familiar, where actually... nothing is very familiar. Think of who you were at age fifteen and come on this journey with us. - In addition to being generally befuddled, Returning to the studio after a few months with Animorphs book forty-one, The Familiar, where actually… nothing is very familiar. Think of who you were at age fifteen and come on this journey with us.

In addition to being generally befuddled, we discuss: Death Note Yaoi, Star Wars Didn’t Exist Until Three Years Ago, High Quality Pictures Of Slim Goodbody, I Assume Somewhere Blair Is Screaming, Always Needing Interrogation Maybe or Monday is Monday funnier, and Advent Calendar Of Trauma

Referenced media: High quality picture of Slim Goodbody

]]> Will The Real Slim Goodbody Please Stand Up yes 61 EPISODE 60: The Vriska Of Animorphs https://noisespace.xyz/?p=6049 Thu, 21 Nov 2019 01:12:33 -0000 01:19:34 Welcome to our wonderful life diving into the classic "what if something had never happened" trope with the fourth & final Megamorphs! Join us as we watch Cassie become unstuck in time, hear Marco and Rachel grow closer together, Welcome to our wonderful life diving into the classic “what if something had never happened” trope with the fourth & final Megamorphs! Join us as we watch Cassie become unstuck in time, hear Marco and Rachel grow closer together, and see the life of all of our favourite characters extinguished one by one. It’s Animorphs, baby!

In addition to whatever it was we talked abt when we recorded this more than two months ago, sorry, my bad, we discuss: The Third Host Emily Swashbuckle, Mostly Clothed On The Internet & Drinkin’ Coffee, Blair’s Beef, and Little Shitty Arms

Referenced media: Sharks are smooth as hell, Satah + Garold recording selfie

]]> The Vriska Of Animorphs yes 60 EPISODE 59: I Don't Give A Shit; Extradite Me http://noisespace.xyz/?p=5548 Sun, 08 Sep 2019 09:15:05 -0000 01:02:44 Andalites? Disguised as human? On my Earth? It's more likely than you think. This week, we meet some other refugees from the Andalite army, and learn a very important if kinda hamfisted lesson about ableism from Animorphs book 40: The Other! - Andalites? Disguised as human? On my Earth? It’s more likely than you think. This week, we meet some other refugees from the Andalite army, and learn a very important if kinda hamfisted lesson about ableism from Animorphs book 40: The Other!

CW: Ableism (We rarely attach content warnings to this show, but the wildly dehumanising way this book tackles ableism warrants one)

In addition to this very special after-school episode, we discuss: The Deep Wonder Yeerks Lore, We All Have Shipping Disease, Summer Wars AU, Marco Would Do OK Online, Dirtbag Leftist Marco, Love Magic, and Matt Gamecube Will Never Die

Referenced media: Josie & The Pussycats Is The Greatest Film Ever Made

]]> I Don't Give A Shit; Extradite Me yes 59 EPISODE 58: President Trash Boy http://noisespace.xyz/?p=5479 Fri, 23 Aug 2019 15:00:27 -0000 01:05:22 It's time for a Cassie book, which means it's time to settle down, open ourselves up to our more pacifist tendencies, and marvel at the Cronenberg-esque abomination that is an ant poorly attempting to morph into a human being. It’s time for a Cassie book, which means it’s time to settle down, open ourselves up to our more pacifist tendencies, and marvel at the Cronenberg-esque abomination that is an ant poorly attempting to morph into a human being. And also there’s a cape buffalo. He turns into a human too. It’s Animorphs book 39, The Hidden, and I’m sure Cassie’s fine!

In addition to the general malaise that is these authors are trying to destroy this sweet little girl, we discuss: The Highs, The Lows, The Side-To-Sides, The Trash, The Boy, The Shorp Porps, and There Are So Many Ants

]]> President Trash Boy yes 58 EPISODE 57: It's Like Sex Ed But Forever And War http://noisespace.xyz/?p=3913 Wed, 10 Jul 2019 03:26:36 -0000 01:16:36 Crumph crumph: the sound of a book written in the 90s trying to deal with gender. It's Animorphs book 38, The Arrival, which means it's time to discuss our various mouth pleasures. Mine is just saying "crumph crumph"! - Crumph crumph: the sound of a book written in the 90s trying to deal with gender. It’s Animorphs book 38, The Arrival, which means it’s time to discuss our various mouth pleasures. Mine is just saying “crumph crumph”!

Referenced media: Millennials Aren’t Growing Horns From Their Celled Phones, that statue of Oscar Wilde

]]> It's Like Sex Ed But Forever And War yes 57 EPISODE 56: Some Houses Go, But Again, Not Particularly Fast http://noisespace.xyz/?p=3853 Thu, 27 Jun 2019 00:23:15 -0000 00:59:47 No controllers on this podcast! Only human beings who love the human character Rachel. She is strong, she is real, and she is our friend. It's Animorphs book 37, The Weakness, and we're considerably more excited about Visser 3's fantastically strong ex... No controllers on this podcast! Only human beings who love the human character Rachel. She is strong, she is real, and she is our friend. It’s Animorphs book 37, The Weakness, and we’re considerably more excited about Visser 3’s fantastically strong ex-boyfriend energy than any of the actual plot. Rachel’s the boss now and we’re the Supernatural of podcasts, I guess.

In addition to other people named Rachel, we discuss: Hubris: The Book, Essay Filler, I Have To Live With Me ALL THE TIME, Houses Are The Slowest Thing That We make, Golf Ball Murder, Red Lights Georg, Oh! My Hubris, and Negged By Amazon
]]> Some Houses Go, But Again, Not Particularly Fast yes 56 EPISODE 55: Put Ya Dick in Some Wires http://noisespace.xyz/?p=3745 Sat, 08 Jun 2019 20:13:32 -0000 01:09:17 Whew! That was a real tough battle, but Sara managed to get out of Canada alive! Unfortunately, we had to leave Satah behind for a little bit to fend off the oncoming Yeerk horde. Don't worry, I'm sure they'll be fine. In the meantime, Whew! That was a real tough battle, but Sara managed to get out of Canada alive! Unfortunately, we had to leave Satah behind for a little bit to fend off the oncoming Yeerk horde. Don’t worry, I’m sure they’ll be fine. In the meantime, we took a trip down to not-exactly-Atlantis to take a look at some Beegees, according to Rachel. It’s The Mutation!

In addition to Shorts Season, Johnny Two Brains, Porn Laptop, Mob Psycho Animorphs AU, Double Depression, Closed-System Reproduction, and Everybody Knows Paprika’s Fucked.

Support us on Patreon!

]]> Put Ya Dick in Some Wires yes 55 EPISODE 54: Because Of Her Tendency To Commit Treason Immediately http://noisespace.xyz/?p=3636 Fri, 10 May 2019 15:00:45 -0000 01:22:28 In the longest episode yet, we somehow stay completely on-topic. In our defense, there's a lot going on. It's a seasonally appropriate Animorphs special today as we discuss the book Visser. No, not the monologuing himbo; the other one. Oh shit. - In the longest episode yet, we somehow stay completely on-topic. In our defense, there’s a lot going on. It’s a seasonally appropriate Animorphs special today as we discuss the book Visser. No, not the monologuing himbo; the other one. Oh shit.

In addition to… huh. No, seriously, this is just us talking about purely the book for almost an hour and a half.

Referenced media: You made this? I made this.

]]> Because Of Her Tendency To Commit Treason Immediately yes 54 EPISODE 53: Some People Irony Poison To Cope http://noisespace.xyz/?p=3542 Fri, 26 Apr 2019 17:11:04 -0000 01:20:21 Cancel culture is when six teenagers with alien technology come together to try to get you to freak out over some cockroaches in your salad. Sometimes, the natural state of two lifebeings interacting is fear. Cancel culture is when six teenagers with alien technology come together to try to get you to freak out over some cockroaches in your salad. Sometimes, the natural state of two lifebeings interacting is fear. These are just quotes from Blair I really loved that were too long to make the episode title. I’m writing this at a bar because as I ordered a beer, I realised I hadn’t finished editing the episode, so I did it in the corner. Like a cool kid! The things I do for you. Anyway, book, I guess. I’m over it! Animorphs book 35: The Proposal. It’s a palindrome of the episode number! Fuuuun!!!!!!!

In addition to Marco’s mental state, we discuss: Dopamine Machine Please, Poodles Have Genetic Bows, Caring About The Earth Was Starting To Become A Fad (But Not Enough Of A Fad), I Wanna Watch TV With That Dad, It’s Comforting To Know Humanity Has Always Been Broken, and The Cool Adult Who’s In On Things

Referenced media: David Tennant with a ponytail, and again, Michael Grant’s andalite drawing from the series bible, white taxidermy monkey meme

]]> Some People Irony Poison To Cope yes 53 EPISODE 52: Motherfuckers Going To The Moon In A Paper Airplane http://noisespace.xyz/?p=3451 Fri, 12 Apr 2019 15:00:00 -0000 01:15:21 We read Animorphs book 34, The Prophecy. That's all I'm writing about the episode this week, cuz I'm tired. Take that, George Lucas! - In addition to loving body sharing tropes, we espouse opinions on: Doggie Video Is Here To Stay, We read Animorphs book 34, The Prophecy. That’s all I’m writing about the episode this week, cuz I’m tired. Take that, George Lucas!
In addition to loving body sharing tropes, we espouse opinions on: Doggie Video Is Here To Stay, I Have To Fight My Adult Son, Ships Look Like Species, and What If Your Hometown Lake Was Polluted With Fascist Space Colonisers
]]> Motherfuckers Going To The Moon In A Paper Airplane yes 52 EPISODE 51: Humans Have The Capacity To Create New Snacks; Dogs Are Beholden To The Snacks Available To Them http://noisespace.xyz/?p=3317 Fri, 29 Mar 2019 15:00:35 -0000 01:12:13 One of us is knocked out with the flu, so it's up to the remaining two to try not to get knocked out by Feelings. Someone please SOS (Save Our Son). It’s Animorphs book 33, The Illusion, and it’s time to settle once and for all whether dogs have a food... One of us is knocked out with the flu, so it’s up to the remaining two to try not to get knocked out by Feelings. Someone please SOS (Save Our Son). It’s Animorphs book 33, The Illusion, and it’s time to settle once and for all whether dogs have a food culture.
In addition to bemoaning the trauma of a bird boy, we discuss: Goo Goo Dolls Sounds Like Morphing Noises, What Does It Feel Like To Have A Human Brain, Metaphorically Drinking Soda Through Life, School Dances, CAPTURED ON PURPOSE!!!, Only One Of Us Can Be Spartacus, Cousins You’d Go To War With, and The Capacity For Snacks
]]> Humans Have The Capacity To Create New Snacks; Dogs Are Beholden To The Snacks Available To Them yes 51 EPISODE 50: Orange Julius Is The Illuminati http://noisespace.xyz/?p=3267 Fri, 15 Mar 2019 15:00:16 -0000 01:09:42 If you see a less caffeinated version of this episode walking around, let us know so we can join forces. Until then, let me introduce you to the evil (?) twin: a full hour of someone audibly using a fidget spinner kicked off by someone else saying "Tee... If you see a less caffeinated version of this episode walking around, let us know so we can join forces. Until then, let me introduce you to the evil (?) twin: a full hour of someone audibly using a fidget spinner kicked off by someone else saying “Teens Lit AF”. It’s Animorphs book 32, The Separation, and the hosts are… of two minds about it. Bwomp bwooooomp

In addition to a truly iconic cover, we discuss: I’ve Become Superhuman For Finding Fucking Ingredients, Rachel’s Astrological Chart, Orange Julius Androids, and Gut Check

Referenced media: We Fooled The Internet w/ Fake Justin Bieber Photo, Mystify Your Mind screensaver

]]> Orange Julius Is The Illuminati yes 50 EPISODE 49: Beatrix Potter Characters Don't Real; Cryptids Might Real http://noisespace.xyz/?p=3118 Tue, 05 Mar 2019 21:16:54 -0000 01:03:48 It's a sleepy pod, baby! Cuddle on in for some relaxing bedtime discussion of Animorphs book thirty-one, The Conspiracy. Note: in this case, we assume that you prefer your lullabies to be full of children experiencing trauma. - It’s a sleepy pod, baby! Cuddle on in for some relaxing bedtime discussion of Animorphs book thirty-one, The Conspiracy. Note: in this case, we assume that you prefer your lullabies to be full of children experiencing trauma.
In addition to parents constantly being in peril, we discuss: 2b28, Ow My Baby Hand, Tiger Tiddies, Transgenderism Is Lit, and Beatrix Potter Knows Something We Don’t Know
]]> Beatrix Potter Characters Don't Real; Cryptids Might Real yes 49 EPISODE 48: We Should Talk About Something That's Not Rivers http://noisespace.xyz/?p=3075 Sun, 24 Feb 2019 01:26:02 -0000 01:11:04 This is not a Frozen podcast... or is it? Whatever; it's gay children with dead parents, magic powers, and tons of trauma from top to bottom as we tackle Animorphs book thirty, The Reunion. Do you wanna break a Yeerk pool? C'mon let's go and play~!
This is not a Frozen podcast… or is it? Whatever; it’s gay children with dead parents, magic powers, and tons of trauma from top to bottom as we tackle Animorphs book thirty, The Reunion. Do you wanna break a Yeerk pool? C’mon let’s go and play~!
In addition to loving Marco with our whole hearts, we also discuss: Marco’s Modern Memes, TobIphone S, I Hate The Sploots So Much, If Elevators Were Vacuums Would Everyone Be Better At Parkour, Most Iconic Rivers To Throw Yourself Into, and Laser Noises Are Not Threatening
]]> We Should Talk About Something That's Not Rivers yes 48 EPISODE 47: I'd Like To Go On Record As Saying George Washington Is Not My Daddy http://noisespace.xyz/?p=2927 Fri, 01 Feb 2019 16:00:44 -0000 00:56:19 It's about that TIME to figure out if you can keep a SECRET. Elfangor's secret! In honour of this episode being shorter than usual, so is the amount of effort I'm going to spend on this description. If you hate it so much, It’s about that TIME to figure out if you can keep a SECRET. Elfangor’s secret! In honour of this episode being shorter than usual, so is the amount of effort I’m going to spend on this description. If you hate it so much, why not go kill my goddamn grandpa so I’m never even ON this podcast? Fuck you. The book is MegaMorphs Three: Elfangor’s Secret. I said it already! Up top!! Whatever. I’m the version of me from the bad timeline where you killed my grandpa’s neighbour who was just in there trying to water my grandpa’s plants and that’s why I’m sooo rude. Meet me in the construction zone beside the mall where all the technology is buried and fight me to the death if it bothers you so much. I will NOT be giving you superpowers. Only super glowers. From glaring at you rudely. I’m using “I” instead of “we” but you’ll never know who it is! Maybe I’m your secret space dad!!!!! Fight all of us!!!!!!!!!!!! I dare you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In addition to sort of just deciding this isn’t even really an Animorphs book, we discuss: Prozzäk, “Need A Band-Aid, Babe?” But Unironically, Did Harriet Jones Utilise Girl Power When She Did A Genocide?

Further reading: The story of Simon and Milo

]]> I'd Like To Go On Record As Saying George Washington Is Not My Daddy yes 47 EPISODE 46: Okay, I'm Going To Do A Naruto http://noisespace.xyz/?p=2880 Fri, 18 Jan 2019 21:13:57 -0000 01:11:02 Just because someone is absolutely one hundred percent guaranteed by the stars to kill one of your co-hosts is no reason not to stan. It’s a Cassie book, which means a lot of fumbling through trying to process the philosophical core of the Animorphs se...
Just because someone is absolutely one hundred percent guaranteed by the stars to kill one of your co-hosts is no reason not to stan. It’s a Cassie book, which means a lot of fumbling through trying to process the philosophical core of the Animorphs series. Also, eels! Join three people who have grown so ancient & wizened that they can no longer handle your standard iced tea to discuss this sweet treat of a book, number 29, The Sickness. Ooh ah ah ah.
In addition to moral complexity of alien species, we discuss: No Jokes 2K19, Licensed Fast Food Toys, and A Homestuck Tangent
]]> Okay, I'm Going To Do A Naruto yes 46 EPISODE 45: Wait. You Guys. Andalite Vampires Would Kick You http://noisespace.xyz/?p=2784 Fri, 04 Jan 2019 16:00:39 -0000 01:11:03 A heart-wrenching book about animal experimentation and factory farming somehow results in an episode that gets randy'n'rowdy by the middle of the intro. Don't ask us how, but the energy just goes up from there. It's Animorphs book 28, The Experiment, A heart-wrenching book about animal experimentation and factory farming somehow results in an episode that gets randy’n’rowdy by the middle of the intro. Don’t ask us how, but the energy just goes up from there. It’s Animorphs book 28, The Experiment, and we’re asking the tough questions: what if literally no-one can read???

In addition to having perhaps too-high expectations of the philosophical centre of a children’s book, we discuss: We Don’t Know The Upper Bounds Of How Many Hands Visser 3 Has, One Single Framed Photo Of Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill, Selfish Extreme Home Makeover Host, Desperate Housewives Is Actually Good, Riverdale Tangent

Referenced media: Fluffy Ax drawing, little brown bird!!!, the history of traffic lights

]]> Wait. You Guys. Andalite Vampires Would Kick You yes 45 Setting the Record Queerk, with Alexis and Kaylee! http://noisespace.xyz/?p=2802 Sun, 30 Dec 2018 20:10:00 -0000 00:57:46 On this week's episode of Setting the Record Queer, I sat down w- wait, no, that's not quite right. Join Sara as she engages in a crossover event with the hosts of Setting the Record Queer! Join us as we watch Not My Problem, defend the prequels, On this week’s episode of Setting the Record Queer, I sat down w- wait, no, that’s not quite right. Join Sara as she engages in a crossover event with the hosts of Setting the Record Queer! Join us as we watch Not My Problem, defend the prequels, and find out just how much the average person knows about Animorphs! Spoiler: it’s really not that much.

Thank you so much to Alexis (@princessproto) and Kaylee (@witchs_hex) for coming on the show! To find their show, please check out settingtherecordqueer.com!

Support us on Patreon!

]]> yes bonus EPISODE 44: All Of Linear Time Exists Pre-Footloose & Post-Footloose http://noisespace.xyz/?p=2781 Fri, 28 Dec 2018 16:00:09 -0000 01:15:40 In addition to book 27, The Exposed, we also discuss: This Podcast Episode Is The One Where We All Roleplay As Minor Characters From Animorphs, Gay Coded Side Character, Footloose Is A Bad Play By The Way, Synthesiser Censoring Of Smart Home Activation... In addition to book 27, The Exposed, we also discuss: This Podcast Episode Is The One Where We All Roleplay As Minor Characters From Animorphs, Gay Coded Side Character, Footloose Is A Bad Play By The Way, Synthesiser Censoring Of Smart Home Activation, How To Define An Arm, and Droid Rights

]]> All Of Linear Time Exists Pre-Footloose & Post-Footloose yes 44 EPISODE 43: Real Time Owl Memes http://noisespace.xyz/?p=2656 Sat, 01 Dec 2018 00:11:05 -0000 01:06:13 Can someone, for the love of god, get these kids some therapy? Jake had a living, thinking being die in his head and now the fucking eye of Sauron is visiting him in his dreams. It's book twenty-six, The Attack,
Can someone, for the love of god, get these kids some therapy? Jake had a living, thinking being die in his head and now the fucking eye of Sauron is visiting him in his dreams. It’s book twenty-six, The Attack, and they don’t even get to enjoy the touring stage production of The Lion King that came to their school before the Ellimist sends them off to play team deathmatch for the fate of a species. Also, Erek is here! Or, at least, he was; there’s a wall standing in his place now.
In addition to hyping up the transformative power of love, we also offered some opinions on Let Cassie Say Fuck, Biggest Death Metal Scream, Jake Pulls Rank, Rock Facts!, Satah crying at a spoon, the great new owl meme, and Blair’s Shipping Ph.D!
]]> Real Time Owl Memes yes 43 EPISODE 42: In The World Where Mermaids Are Real You Might Have Been Born A Mermaid http://noisespace.xyz/?p=2648 Wed, 28 Nov 2018 23:00:14 -0000 01:13:07 This episode got lost in the snowy tundra for three weeks, where it repeatedly almost died of hypothermia before morphing back to its original form and then morphing back to let itself almost die again. Uh-oh! Luckily, it survived. This episode got lost in the snowy tundra for three weeks, where it repeatedly almost died of hypothermia before morphing back to its original form and then morphing back to let itself almost die again. Uh-oh! Luckily, it survived. In this very scattered episode, we read Animorphs book 25: The Extreme. The Yeerks of being incredibly tired and giggly have infected all of us and it’s fine, it’s fine, we’re fine.

In addition to spending one of our hours discussing this, we also cover: Finally Sara Is Going To Decapitate Her Co-hosts, We Are All Gamecube, WHO IS THIS DOG?, It’s Always Blair’s Birthday, The Fuck-Off Ship Is What They Call It In Andalite, and Marco Is NOT A Cool Divorce Dad

]]> In The World Where Mermaids Are Real You Might Have Been Born A Mermaid yes 42 EPISODE 41: DNA Is Literally Stored In The Balls http://noisespace.xyz/?p=2404 Fri, 26 Oct 2018 15:00:56 -0000 00:58:51 After a month sailing the far-reaching seas of the Chronicles, we're returning to the main series and, thank goodness, the main drive of this entire show: rap battle brackets. Palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms melting into the form of wings, oh god, After a month sailing the far-reaching seas of the Chronicles, we’re returning to the main series and, thank goodness, the main drive of this entire show: rap battle brackets. Palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms melting into the form of wings, oh god, oh god, the noise of it. The crunching and churning. Oh god, oh god. It’s book 24 The Suspicion, and the kids are on a mission. We use our full cognition to determine their positions in the… aforementioned bracket. Listen, if anything rhymed with “Animorphs”, I would have gone there first,

In addition to breezing slap-happily over some 60s-ass aliens, we discuss A Grilled Cheese Devastation, Orsonwatch, Shrink Story Biases, We Know How Blair Feels About Whales, A Snow Globe Inside An Asylum Inside Of A Dream, Seerow Is An Uncle To Us All, You Have To Understand Satah That’s Not Real Science, and Here’s The Thing

]]> DNA Is Literally Stored In The Balls yes 41 EPISODE 40: Modern Sci-fi Is All Dystopia Teens http://bda14c5fdf2a4e6e81ec97792917e74e Sat, 13 Oct 2018 00:30:10 -0000 01:05:04 Sit down with me, little bird, & let me tell you a story about how a series about the horrors of war somehow becomes even warrier & more horrific. It's The Hork-Bajir Chronicles, and it's just upsetting. Let's get real sad about it!... Sit down with me, little bird, & let me tell you a story about how a series about the horrors of war somehow becomes even warrier & more horrific. It’s The Hork-Bajir Chronicles, and it’s just upsetting. Let’s get real sad about it!

If you need a pick-me-up, think about the last episode and check out this amazing canon image of a canon event. Remember how fun that was???

In addition to being generally kinda bummered about, like, war & stuff, we discussed: Yeerk Sexual Dimorphism, Cry Button Songs, Esplin, Turns Out The Yeerks Suck, Never Be Punctual Or You Might Get Killed In Front Of Your Kid, Esplin, “I Replaced Some Of The Lyrics To No Children With ‘Wakka Wakka’”, Bird Insurance (For Birds), and Esplin

]]> Modern Sci-fi Is All Dystopia Teens yes 40 EPISODE 39: Rivals-To-Lovers Or Animorphs Is Dead To Me http://a42ceb64a953434cb08914c78c80de7e Fri, 05 Oct 2018 01:57:44 -0000 01:07:06 We janked up the timeline by skipping books and we're getting picked off of the show one-by-one as we accidentally unborn ourselves in our attempts to go back and fix the error. Uh-oh! With The Andalite Chronicles, we're hopping all the way back... We janked up the timeline by skipping books and we’re getting picked off of the show one-by-one as we accidentally unborn ourselves in our attempts to go back and fix the error. Uh-oh! With The Andalite Chronicles, we’re hopping all the way back to before the story even began, now with the baggage of loving these children way too much.

In addition to loving Andalites so goddamn much, we discuss: Improvised Burlesque Floor Routines, Are There Literally Any Andalite Women?, Ax Would Eat A Cat, Andalite Culture Is: Being Kind Of A Dumbass, Do Andalites Purr?, Andalites Better Purr, There Are No Yeerk Civilians, and Andalite Scratching Posts

]]> Rivals-To-Lovers Or Animorphs Is Dead To Me yes 39 EPISODE 38: It’s Cool Being Tobias Isn’t It http://3f479319ad7645b1bd13b77f7d60584d Sat, 15 Sep 2018 10:09:52 -0000 01:18:24 By the grayse of gawd, Blair and Satah are here to discuss Animorphs book 23, The Pretender. What's family? What's morality? How does a hawk deal with CTPSD & clinical depression? How do we adopt & protect him, please, like please,??? In... By the grayse of gawd, Blair and Satah are here to discuss Animorphs book 23, The Pretender. What’s family? What’s morality? How does a hawk deal with CTPSD & clinical depression? How do we adopt & protect him, please, like please,???

In addition to Tobias’ general angst, we discuss Experimental Podcast Loops, Listen Let’s Talk About Wills, Traumababy, Ax Is Only A Little Boy, The Gentlest “Shut The Fuck Up”, Animorphs Open Mic Night, Humans R Just Animals With Philosophy, and The Protagonist Degree

]]> It’s Cool Being Tobias Isn’t It yes 38 EPISODE 37: We’re All Just Animals That Are Eating Off The Ground http://581a06c1b79e44cda20a5990d1cb4373 Fri, 31 Aug 2018 19:07:11 -0000 01:19:52 Bill Clinton is in your D&D campaign. Bill Clinton is in your house. We're talking about book twenty-two, The Solution, but more importantly, we're uncovering the secret that TRPG makers everywhere don't want you to know. In addition to QBC... Bill Clinton is in your D&D campaign. Bill Clinton is in your house. We’re talking about book twenty-two, The Solution, but more importantly, we’re uncovering the secret that TRPG makers everywhere don’t want you to know.

In addition to QBC (quiet bill clinton), we discuss Grocery Pranks, Blair’s Online Legacy, Sara Gets A Pop Filter, What We Were Allowed To Watch, & A New Front Bottoms Lyric, but Mostly QBC

]]> We’re All Just Animals That Are Eating Off The Ground yes 37 EPISODE 36: These Children Do Not Watch David Letterman http://4bc3c24b8faf40019e801fad34e5b360 Fri, 17 Aug 2018 21:44:31 -0000 01:06:50 After an epidemic of laptop foibles, we're back to discuss book twenty-one, The Threat. Some of us are certainly having our patience threatened by a certain newcomer to the series. Who has opinions about birds? Who has opinions about what... After an epidemic of laptop foibles, we’re back to discuss book twenty-one, The Threat. Some of us are certainly having our patience threatened by a certain newcomer to the series. Who has opinions about birds? Who has opinions about what instruments the children would play? WHO is the DAVID of this PODCAST???

In addition to a detailed list of seagull grievances, we discuss: This Podcast Is Just Hereditary, Wawa Taxes, Chuck & Stevenen: Gamer Boyz, You Can’t Press Charges Against A Bird, A Sad Version of The Onceler, You Know When You Kick So Hard You Explode

]]> These Children Do Not Watch David Letterman yes 36 EPISODE 35: Boy Who Is Tube http://76b00f7a5d4146e9a088da401560fdf6 Sat, 28 Jul 2018 20:28:47 -0000 01:19:27 Have you ever been sitting near a pool and thought that the game of Marco Polo just had too many words involved? Blair and Satah have you covered as they spend about an hour mostly saying "Marco!!" at each other in various tones of worry and... Have you ever been sitting near a pool and thought that the game of Marco Polo just had too many words involved? Blair and Satah have you covered as they spend about an hour mostly saying “Marco!!” at each other in various tones of worry and affection. It’s book twenty, The Discovery, and the new kid either sucks, or just isn’t dealing well with being conscripted into a war that will determine the fate of his entire planet. WHATEVER, DAVID. IT’S ANIMORPHS.

In addition to being pretty travel-loopy, we discuss Marco’s DIY Fashion, Egregious Theory, Who Eats The Fry, Tablets Are Old Man Technology, Let Jake Say Fuck, WATCH CRAZY EX GIRLFRIEND, and Oops! All Trauma

]]> Boy Who Is Tube yes 35 EPISODE 34: A Karen Named Karen http://225f01c91ee940179ec0b73e25806f86 Fri, 06 Jul 2018 15:00:00 -0000 00:57:41 It's time to cry about Cassie and the general concept of cats. Two of us read The Departure, but one only read the Wikipedia article for leopards. You won't believe which one is which. Number 19 changed my life. Gone sexual?!?!?! In addition to... It’s time to cry about Cassie and the general concept of cats. Two of us read The Departure, but one only read the Wikipedia article for leopards. You won’t believe which one is which. Number 19 changed my life. Gone sexual?!?!?!

In addition to Cassie’s anhedonia, we discuss Rachel Queer Eyeing Tobias, Ruthlessness, A Royalty AU, In This House We Are All Gay, Garold Is Charlie Kelly, and Goober Yeerk Buddy Cop

]]> A Karen Named Karen yes 34 EPISODE 33: It Makes Me Happy... And Sad http://0d61629e4cb04079a93a9bf2914950f3 Fri, 22 Jun 2018 15:00:00 -0000 01:11:16 Broccoli is alien and there are, unfortunately, no therapists in the Cretaceous Age. This week, we're talking about poorly-done comet foreshadowing and goodly-done character moments in Megamorphs 2: In The Time Of Dinosaurs. Animorphs, uhhh,... Broccoli is alien and there are, unfortunately, no therapists in the Cretaceous Age. This week, we’re talking about poorly-done comet foreshadowing and goodly-done character moments in Megamorphs 2: In The Time Of Dinosaurs. Animorphs, uhhh, finds a way. Thanks. Thank you. In addition to horrifically enormous lizards, and begging for an adult to take care of these children, we discuss: Group Chat Pix, Dinosaurs Fall Out Of My Brain, Wariocats, Byford Basin Diving Incident (Humans Are Just Made Of Meat), Andalites Are Needlessly Dramatic With Their Toys’R’Us, Big Weird Birds, Fambly!!!, Egg Standards, Drink Preferences, I Wanna Party With The Animorphs, ROCK LEE? Rock Lee? We Talkin’ About Rock Lee???, A Pitch For Kapplegate, #brocspons

]]> It Makes Me Happy... And Sad yes 33 EPISODE 32: Centaurs Don’t Real, So, Infinite Stairs http://c1bfc242fc8d421b8d9c66503bda6d24 Sat, 09 Jun 2018 21:39:59 -0000 00:58:41 Can a family be one mom, one dad, one more parent, their blue son whom they all could not possibly love more, & all of his vigilante friends? Yes. Absolutely. It usually is. Learn that and more with the three most linguistically fastidious people... Can a family be one mom, one dad, one more parent, their blue son whom they all could not possibly love more, & all of his vigilante friends? Yes. Absolutely. It usually is. Learn that and more with the three most linguistically fastidious people you know as they throw their advanced brainpower behind analysis of the eighteenth Animorphs book: The Decision.

In addition to generally dismantling the concept of grammar, we discuss: Energy Drinks Are Poison, Centaur Exercise, Shipping Is Literary, Cinnamon Bun Locations Are Not Ideal, Word Hard Find So Control F, How Slug Make Weapon?, Ax Could Be Small Or Big (Depends), Hoof Beef, More Hearts More Love, and Granted: Whales Don’t Fucking Real

]]> Centaurs Don’t Real, So, Infinite Stairs yes 32 EPISODE 31: Gleek Bio-Filters http://3dd1e3bdd7a54cc6b2ea3f7f84f40d66 Fri, 25 May 2018 14:00:00 -0000 01:12:07 It's the oatmeal book, folks, so strap in as Blair, Sara, and Satah tuck in to book seventeen, The Underground! Join us as we talk about limbs getting ripped off and how fun that is, Animorphs Therapist OC, dogtalk, Glee-talk, and so much more! It’s the oatmeal book, folks, so strap in as Blair, Sara, and Satah tuck in to book seventeen, The Underground! Join us as we talk about limbs getting ripped off and how fun that is, Animorphs Therapist OC, dogtalk, Glee-talk, and so much more!

]]> Gleek Bio-Filters yes 31 EPISODE 30: s02e01 http://bf2d66f7154860d11a8b9b4286d059e6 Fri, 11 May 2018 14:00:00 -0000 01:09:11 Blair is BACK and better than ever, ready to pop off season two of The Wonder Yeerks, and Satah's decided to tag along for the long haul too. We suppose that Sara is just along for the ride, then. But that's fine! Because this week, we have a...... Blair is BACK and better than ever, ready to pop off season two of The Wonder Yeerks, and Satah’s decided to tag along for the long haul too. We suppose that Sara is just along for the ride, then. But that’s fine! Because this week, we have a… rhino, of a time discussing book sixteen: The Warning!

Topics include: Being Very Tender About Children, Dookie Humor, Being Very Tender About How In Love The Children Are, Groups of People, Being Very Tender About How The Children Must Reckon With Their Own Mortality Day In And Day Out, And, Y’Know, Rhinos.

]]> s02e01 yes 30 EPISODE 29: Visser (St)one(d) http://c2d4c0b2e26d34c8df853e8b486e8d02 Fri, 04 May 2018 15:00:00 -0000 01:14:31 Hey man, c'mon over here. You want a hit? This sweet alien bowl is almost kicked, but there should be enough for one more hit. It's good shit, too. Some kinda third type, according to Ax. Anyways, let's get stoned on some galaxy brain kush and talk... Hey man, c’mon over here. You want a hit? This sweet alien bowl is almost kicked, but there should be enough for one more hit. It’s good shit, too. Some kinda third type, according to Ax. Anyways, let’s get stoned on some galaxy brain kush and talk about crossing over Animorphs with Buffy.

In addition to episodes one and two of The Leader, we also discussed Homestuck Tarot, Slobber Morph, Dad Hates, FatT Bites, Gay For Visser, Animorphs’s First Joke, and Buffy Crossover.

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]]> Visser (St)one(d) yes 29 EPISODE 28: The Kapplander http://bb814aff59818f7b7c382780875b8778 Fri, 27 Apr 2018 15:00:00 -0000 00:41:16 Hey, uh...weird question, but what is this? A podcast? About what? ...Animorphs. Huh. Yeah, sorry, we conked our head and got amnesia, so we don't know much past what we just watched a few minutes ago. Anyways, now that that's all sorted, join us to... Hey, uh…weird question, but what is this? A podcast? About what? …Animorphs. Huh. Yeah, sorry, we conked our head and got amnesia, so we don’t know much past what we just watched a few minutes ago. Anyways, now that that’s all sorted, join us to talk about this episode of Animorphs, The Forgotten!

In addition to forgetting everything, we also discussed Meme Memories, Slinky Morph, Volleyball Baseball Prowess, Forest Jerky, Wolf Nazis, Cartwheel Ability,

Check out Satah’s new podcast, Music for Molehills!

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]]> The Kapplander yes 28 EPISODE 27: Volleyball Baseball http://a082d2e40109c7b7ec371e275d023a3d Fri, 20 Apr 2018 15:00:00 -0000 00:57:33 Well, bad news, Sara's name-morph lasted longer than 2 hours, so now she's a namethlit. But that doesn't matter, because Satah invented a new sport, and we're gonna make millions off of it! We're geniuses! Please don't steal our ideas, we... Well, bad news, Sara’s name-morph lasted longer than 2 hours, so now she’s a namethlit. But that doesn’t matter, because Satah invented a new sport, and we’re gonna make millions off of it! We’re geniuses! Please don’t steal our ideas, we need this to make it through the next financial quarter. Our bosses are brutal! I’m not entirely sure where these show notes are going, but I’m not gonna fix it! Enjoy Satah going wild on this new creation. We also watched an Animorphs episode, whatever.

In addition to The Stranger, we also discussed PNGphobia, Baby Tattoos, Theon’s Dick-Kick Power Up, The Ugliest Skyline, Hot Topic Update, HIRE MORE FEMALE CONTROLLERS, Social Media Death, and Gen Urobuchi’s Senior Thesis.

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]]> Volleyball Baseball yes 27 EPISODE 26: A Flower Pretending To Be A Snake http://e1a8562c84b91bf41d067f62b39eaba6 Fri, 13 Apr 2018 15:00:00 -0000 00:49:43 The rumour come out: does Satah is correct? Yes. Absolutely. This a good TV show, and finally, all of the hosts agree. There will be no take-backs. Today we're talking about Animorphs S01E11, in which the protagonist is inexplicably swapped, and then... The rumour come out: does Satah is correct? Yes. Absolutely. This a good TV show, and finally, all of the hosts agree. There will be no take-backs. Today we’re talking about Animorphs S01E11, in which the protagonist is inexplicably swapped, and then semi-explicably croc’d. On the “Does Tobias exist?” chart, this one ranks: sort of!

In addition to yet another great episode of this TV show, we discuss: Name Morphs, Coffee Crimes, Zoo Enclosure Logistics, Buffy Digression, Buffy Digression The Second And Also Third, Visser Three Is Banksy, Satah Has A Fucking Breakdown About A Pop Star Misidentification, Lllamas: They’re Good, Friendship Was The Lesson, Parallel Universes

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]]> A Flower Pretending To Be A Snake yes 26 EPISODE 25: Dope Therapy Lion http://f001109a149d51cb314844957103df3f Sat, 07 Apr 2018 02:10:42 -0000 00:54:10 Well, Lulu did in fact morph her leg into a broken one! But she's back now, and is extremely slowly de-morphing. Hopefully she doesn't get stuck like this! Anyways, we have the first episode that Lulu actually liked! Wow! Some top quality acting out... Well, Lulu did in fact morph her leg into a broken one! But she’s back now, and is extremely slowly de-morphing. Hopefully she doesn’t get stuck like this! Anyways, we have the first episode that Lulu actually liked! Wow! Some top quality acting out of Shawn Ashmore here.

In addition to this stellar two-part episode of television, we also discussed Lulu’s New Name, Violet Trout, CheezyTits’s Cassie Slander, Driver’s License Will and Testament, Marco’s Star Wars Rage, The Andalite Dictionary, Youtube Poop Retrospective, and a Garold Cameo!

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]]> Dope Therapy Lion yes 25 EPISODE 24: The Power of Friendship http://ad5439ea2f88f12e6a25b51729947349 Fri, 23 Mar 2018 15:00:00 -0000 00:45:11 Lulu gone done and morphed her leg into a broken leg, so Blair's back to cover episode eight of the TV show! Much like the inside of Satah's brain, this one's all about Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill. What's going on with that guy? What's Seerow's... Lulu gone done and morphed her leg into a broken leg, so Blair’s back to cover episode eight of the TV show! Much like the inside of Satah’s brain, this one’s all about Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill. What’s going on with that guy? What’s Seerow’s Kindness? Is it less weird that Tobias isn’t here AGAIN if everyone else is also offscreen? Is Marco, like… okay? Are any of us?!

In addition to this episode of Animorphs, we discuss: Next Time On Blair, Is A Hog A Ham?, Worst Floors to Eat Off Of, Maladaptive Coping Mechanisms: The Series, PhD in Shipping, Revenge is Exhausting, Bring Back Old Fanfiction Tools

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]]> The Power of Friendship yes 24 EPISODE 23: Oatmeal Crimes http://1b121828ef923cb66ef4c5019b731c53 Fri, 09 Mar 2018 16:00:00 -0000 00:39:37 Welcome to the first ever live episode of The Wonder Yeerks! Lulu’s up in Toronto for EGLX, and Satah made the trip over to her hotel to record this episode in the flesh! Also, the gang has finally found a weapon to fight the yeerks, and it’s... Welcome to the first ever live episode of The Wonder Yeerks! Lulu’s up in Toronto for EGLX, and Satah made the trip over to her hotel to record this episode in the flesh! Also, the gang has finally found a weapon to fight the yeerks, and it’s fuckin…oatmeal. Brown sugar oatmeal. Yeah, we don’t know either. Apparently this happens in the books, but we haven’t gotten there yet, so we assumed this was a weird edit by the showrunners, but it’s canon! Whoops!

In addition to this abysmal episode, we also discussed: Live Studio Audience, EGLX [check Lulu out on Saturday at 12:15 EST! twitch.tv/gamesfinishe], Airborne Meat Trap Beat, Luna Watches Satah’s Face Not React To Her References In Real Time, Oatmeal Onomatopoeia, Customers are Stupid, Prop Budget, Shaped for Tunnels, Luna Sings An Entire Hanna-Barbera Theme Song?, Animorphs Musical

Referenced Media: Our audio producer Spittle

ADVENTURE’s Animorphs Episodes

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]]> Oatmeal Crimes yes 23 EPISODE 22: The Cooler Ranch Morph http://39b802ed0b29e46c5495a65bb92dbf13 Fri, 02 Mar 2018 16:00:00 -0000 00:34:39 Well folks, remember how we said nobody gave a shit about Tobias being a nothlit? Remember how he almost killed himself in book three because he hated it so much? Yeah, me neither. Anyways, Visser Three throws a temper tantrum and we talk about... Well folks, remember how we said nobody gave a shit about Tobias being a nothlit? Remember how he almost killed himself in book three because he hated it so much? Yeah, me neither. Anyways, Visser Three throws a temper tantrum and we talk about whether Satah’s a furry! It’s The Message!

In addition to this nightmarish episode of Animorphs, we also discussed Women’s Leagues, Dorito Names, Ketchup Debacles, Ben 10 Lore, AFAB: Assigned Furry at Birth, and Luna Finally Makes a Reference Someone Understands!

Check out Lulu’s guest spots on What’s Yr Fursona and In Pursuit of Passions!

REFERENCED MEDIA: Bird in a Cage

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]]> The Cooler Ranch Morph yes 22 EPISODE 21: No Gods, No Masters, Only Nut http://87018be25b93dff6ef6c356028d0a93c Fri, 23 Feb 2018 16:00:00 -0000 00:42:04 Well, finally, Tobias is a nothlit. Like, officially. And they don't spend any time on it! They get over it in like 2 seconds! This child is basically dead, but everyone's pretty much okay with it! Which is super weird, honestly. Anyways, let's... Well, finally, Tobias is a nothlit. Like, officially. And they don’t spend any time on it! They get over it in like 2 seconds! This child is basically dead, but everyone’s pretty much okay with it! Which is super weird, honestly. Anyways, let’s get into Between Friends, which, well, I was about to make a joke about that being the name of a webcomic, but somehow that doesn’t exist! Whoops!

In addition to this abysmal episode, we also discussed Abbrevs, Birthnames, Youtube Controllers, Tobias Hawk Confirmed (Finally), The People’s Principal, Shitty Teachers, Worst Music to Fuck To, Satah’s One-Person Metal Band, and Flip Capability!

Check out Luna’s appearances on In Pursuit of Passions and What’s Yr Fursona!

REFERENCED MEDIA: Charles, The Absolute Bigboy

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]]> No Gods, No Masters, Only Nut yes 21 EPISODE 20: Chameleons are the Animorphs of Lizards http://7c5e450bba030b80f96103a73da798f3 Fri, 16 Feb 2018 15:18:34 -0000 00:44:10 Hey, remember Tobias? No? Yeah, neither do the Animorphs. He's not in this episode, and they barely address it! Nobody's worried about him, or anything! Anyways, it's On the Run! I'm more a fan of Great Gig in the Sky, but I do app-oh, what the... Hey, remember Tobias? No? Yeah, neither do the Animorphs. He’s not in this episode, and they barely address it! Nobody’s worried about him, or anything! Anyways, it’s On the Run! I’m more a fan of Great Gig in the Sky, but I do app-oh, what the fuck, it’s a different one. Okay, fine, sure.

In addition to this Tobias-less episode, we also discussed Smoothie Pockets, Stabbed in a Parking Lot Carnival, I Only Morph Into the Mountain Goats, Shopdropping, Human Acquisition Ethics, How I Met Yeerk Mother, ASGAB, Double Ds Jewellers, and Getting AndaLIT.

REFERENCED MEDIA: That Community gif

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]]> Chameleons are the Animorphs of Lizards yes 20 EPISODE 19: Surrealist Basketball Hoops http://0b5e767bd1b39f64e0103c6202edcc9b Fri, 09 Feb 2018 16:00:00 -0000 00:47:53 So remember how in the books, Tobias is a nothlit by the end of the first one? Well, we reached the end of the third episode, and he's still not stuck! So what the hell! We know it happens eventually, but they're just dragging the first book out!... So remember how in the books, Tobias is a nothlit by the end of the first one? Well, we reached the end of the third episode, and he’s still not stuck! So what the hell! We know it happens eventually, but they’re just dragging the first book out! Anyways, let’s talk about Underground, and finally get off our skateboard for the first time in the seri-oh, it’s not that Underground? Fuck.

We also discussed: Name Game, Nothlit List, Tiger Facts, Get Rid of the Skids, Supernatural Memories, The Laziest Yeerk, Satah Cries Again, Another Satah Remix, and Satah’s Farm Adventures!

Check out Satah’s music here!

REFERENCED MEDIA: Lyuba Max Miller Benny

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]]> Surrealist Basketball Hoops yes 19 EPISODE 18: His Name is Nobias http://c667ed3a659ed86e21246af3f63abe2a Fri, 02 Feb 2018 17:47:49 -0000 00:39:28 Okay, so we're not publishing this episode, right? We found a new way to monetize Animorphs in 2018. Anyways, this is just going into the fuckin' Disney vault, so there's no real point to this description. But I'm a creature of habit, so I'm doing it... Okay, so we’re not publishing this episode, right? We found a new way to monetize Animorphs in 2018. Anyways, this is just going into the fuckin’ Disney vault, so there’s no real point to this description. But I’m a creature of habit, so I’m doing it anyways!

In addition to My Name is Jake: Part 2, we also discussedProfessor Baby, The Villain Edit, 50 Shades of Morphin’, 90’s Plastic, Bathtime Barbies, Cat Grooming, Local Shaun Makes Good, Chunk’s Li’l Flippie Flippa Floppers, and Big Fun Party Mix.

Check out Satah on Tumblr, Twitter, and Bandcamp!

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]]> His Name is Nobias yes 18 EPISODE 17: Tobias Sadstuck http://7721f09859e05baa55e1b00465039981 Fri, 26 Jan 2018 20:02:05 -0000 00:49:45 Well folks, we've got some bad news - we go into it in more detail but basically Blair is now Satah and Satah's now their cat, Garold. It's a whole mess. But anyways, until The Ellimist decides to let Blair morph back into her own body, Satah is here... Well folks, we’ve got some bad news – we go into it in more detail but basically Blair is now Satah and Satah’s now their cat, Garold. It’s a whole mess. But anyways, until The Ellimist decides to let Blair morph back into her own body, Satah is here to talk about the Animorphs TV show! And boy, is it…..well, it’s something.

In addition to My Name is Jake: Part 1, we also discussed Morph Chain, A Deep YTV Hole, Epic Rap Battles of History: Tobias Vs. Garold, Marco’s Stolen Jumpsuit, My Name is Jake-nas, Satah Loses Their Goddamn Mind Over Some Juice, Our Tells,

Referenced Media:

Guinevere Jones

A Sheena Scene

Check out Satah on twitter and tumblr, and also check out their music on Bandcamp!

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]]> Tobias Sadstuck yes 17 EPISODE 16: Gay Deflection http://c781f2a51b50faa6391b2ac22476c84c Sat, 13 Jan 2018 18:25:20 -0000 00:55:27 Blair and Luna can't tell you their full names, or where they're from, but they CAN talk at length about The Escape's juicy, juicy Marco angst. On top of that, topics include Marco being in love with Jake, obviously, dogbots, lost continents, and... Blair and Luna can’t tell you their full names, or where they’re from, but they CAN talk at length about The Escape‘s juicy, juicy Marco angst. On top of that, topics include Marco being in love with Jake, obviously, dogbots, lost continents, and lots o’ sick snuffles.

]]> Gay Deflection yes 16 EPISODE 15: Is Mr. Six Alive? http://8af348701bed6dcba8346d79f743f3fc Fri, 29 Dec 2017 16:00:00 -0000 01:00:46 Luna and Blair can't tell you who they are. Or even where they live. What they can tell you, though, is that Kapplegate inspired a generation of transformation fetishists and was probably definitely horny for transformation herself. Or at least her... Luna and Blair can’t tell you who they are. Or even where they live. What they can tell you, though, is that Kapplegate inspired a generation of transformation fetishists and was probably definitely horny for transformation herself. Or at least her ghostwriter for this book was. It’s Cassie time, she turns into a horse, and it’s The Unknown!

In addition to alien shitboxes, we also discussed Christmas Talk, Butch Lesbian Cassie, Public Deucing, Transformation Talk, Dyson’s Other Blades, Domain Cultures, and Midwest Morphfest.

Referenced media: Kakyoin Has a Nightmare

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]]> Is Mr. Six Alive? yes 15 EPISODE 14: The Disk Horse http://ca4479944876b12ae974e95b578c350c Fri, 08 Dec 2017 16:00:00 -0000 01:03:07 Luna and Blair can't tell you who they are. Or even where they live. What they can tell you, though, is that Hork Bajir shouldn't know what a wife is. Also, Tobias can morph again! Welcome to The Change! In addition to The Change, we discuss... Luna and Blair can’t tell you who they are. Or even where they live. What they can tell you, though, is that Hork Bajir shouldn’t know what a wife is. Also, Tobias can morph again! Welcome to The Change! In addition to The Change, we discuss A Low Edit Episode, A Diattribe On Kapplegate’s Shipping, Shonen Talk, Alien Genders, Animorph Get Facebook, Tobias’ Aging, Dickshit McFart’s Prestigious Student Award, and Sundae Headcanons. Sorry about the rough audio this week, Luna was sick as a dog and didn’t really have the energy for the high quality edit you can expect. She’ll be better next time!

Referenced media: Interior cover

All-Blacks’ Haka

Kakapo

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]]> The Disk Horse yes 14 EPISODE 13: Wizard Slurs http://cabcfb205e16025f887351473d8cf5fe Fri, 01 Dec 2017 16:00:00 -0000 01:11:55 Luna and Blair can't tell you who they are. Or even where they live. What they can tell you, though, is that this book just kinda wholesale rips off Johnathan Taylor Thomas and Home Improvement. Also, Rachel is allergic to crocodiles!... Luna and Blair can’t tell you who they are. Or even where they live. What they can tell you, though, is that this book just kinda wholesale rips off Johnathan Taylor Thomas and Home Improvement. Also, Rachel is allergic to crocodiles! It’s The Reaction!

In addition to Rachel’s allergy adventure also discuss The Three Names Curse, Crocodile/Alligator Differences, Nomenclatures, A LONG Twilight Tangent, Luna’s Memorization Skills, Yasmine Bleeth, Visser Three’s Human Form, Luna’s Stupidity, and Punchiness vs. Horny On Main.

Referenced content: Yasmine Bleeth Game Over

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]]> Wizard Slurs yes 13 EPISODE 12: That's Pussy, Babe http://80027b9b79b19dab0f4828ac714d49ce Fri, 17 Nov 2017 23:26:53 -0000 01:05:29 Blair and Luna can't tell you their last names, or where they live, but this week, they've come to tell you about the eleventh book in the Animorphs series, The Forgotten! Topics include: anthropomorphic horniness, generalized... Blair and Luna can’t tell you their last names, or where they live, but this week, they’ve come to tell you about the eleventh book in the Animorphs series, The Forgotten! Topics include: anthropomorphic horniness, generalized horniness, Furry AU fanfiction, time shenanigans, Kapplegate conspiracy theories, and so much more!

]]> That's Pussy, Babe yes 12 EPISODE 11: The Theme Song For Dogs http://83a03547a46a84b2f4795ebd2e5ba8e1 Sat, 28 Oct 2017 21:54:04 -0000 00:58:46 Luna and Blair can't tell you their last names. Or where they live. What they can tell you, though, is that they both fucking love robots. Join us as we delve into Marco's second book, The Android! In addition to The Android, we also discuss... Luna and Blair can’t tell you their last names. Or where they live. What they can tell you, though, is that they both fucking love robots. Join us as we delve into Marco’s second book, The Android!

In addition to The Android, we also discuss The Best Warped Tour Lineup Yet, A Diatribe on Cats, Marco’s Compulsory Heterosexuality, Luna is Wrong About Russell’s Teapot, Dan Ryckert’s Hoodie Revelation, Aliens Are Dogs Now, An Interesting Moral Discussion, and Marco’s Life on the Edge.

Referenced images: Cevdet Erek

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]]> The Theme Song For Dogs yes 11 EPISODE 10: Boss Baby Genesis http://f086c2651555e6b2847f7ec35bfec3f9 Fri, 13 Oct 2017 15:00:00 -0000 01:17:39 Luna and Blair can't tell you who they are. Or where they live. What they can tell you, though, is that they still fucking love Cassie, and that she's wasting her time with Jake. The Secret is here, and we go on a WILD ride with it! Also... Luna and Blair can’t tell you who they are. Or where they live. What they can tell you, though, is that they still fucking love Cassie, and that she’s wasting her time with Jake. The Secret is here, and we go on a WILD ride with it! Also discussed: Ancap Coworker Antics, Doge Pronunciation, Our New Podcast Shipping and Handling, Disrespecting Strong Bad, Yet Another Bug Morph, McElroy Animorphs History, Road Rage, Tapir Dong, and We Still Can’t Come Up With a Fucking Signoff.

Referenced images: Cursed image

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]]> Boss Baby Genesis yes 10 EPISODE 9: Here's Your Sign http://39dc285eeb21307d869292a6ac23327a Fri, 29 Sep 2017 15:55:33 -0000 01:07:14 This week, your hosts... Phillip and Caleb? Read and talk about the eighth book in the Animorphs series, our very first Ax book, The Alien! Well, at least, we try to talk about it. Mostly, we end up rambling off on topics such as... This week, your hosts… Phillip and Caleb? Read and talk about the eighth book in the Animorphs series, our very first Ax book, The Alien! Well, at least, we try to talk about it. Mostly, we end up rambling off on topics such as astrology, peer pressured foley work, impulse control, and just being fun, fresh and flirty! But goodness are we ever excited to talk about our very good blue boy as he tries to tackle his extremely juicy YA alien angst!

Book Cover #1

Book Cover #2

]]> Here's Your Sign yes 9 EPISODE 8: The Caddyshack Classic http://99b0c5efdef99862d403930f7bc9a101 Fri, 08 Sep 2017 15:00:00 -0000 01:04:18 Luna and Blair can't tell you who they are. Or where they live. What they can tell you, though, is that Luna was the boss baby. It's true! Also, we're here with our first Megamorphs book: The Andalite's Gift. PLEASE read this book. In addition to this... Luna and Blair can’t tell you who they are. Or where they live. What they can tell you, though, is that Luna was the boss baby. It’s true! Also, we’re here with our first Megamorphs book: The Andalite’s Gift. PLEASE read this book.

In addition to this extremely good book, your anonymous hosts also discussed: Mission Impossible Tropes, Young Idiot Luna, Snake Farts, Blair Gets MEAN, Kapplegate’s Sponsorship Deals, Bi Cousins, Big Jim’s Crazy Taxi, Luna Learns About Straight Women, and Arthur Read the Fascist?

Media discussed this episode: Alternate book cover art

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]]> The Caddyshack Classic yes 8 EPISODE 7: I'm Bussy? http://92a6165af2f04fad04e660e2dece08e9 Sat, 26 Aug 2017 02:06:02 -0000 01:08:39 This week, your hosts John McCain and Sarah Palin dive deep into the BIG existential questions, such as "Can the flap of a butterfly's wings change the course of history?" and "How do you hold onto hope after seeing the face of your own doom?"... This week, your hosts John McCain and Sarah Palin dive deep into the BIG existential questions, such as “Can the flap of a butterfly’s wings change the course of history?” and “How do you hold onto hope after seeing the face of your own doom?” and “Why does Kapplegate continue to be like this?”

Discover the answer to these questions and more as we discuss the seventh book in the Animorphs series, The Stranger!

Very Important Visual Aides:

]]> I'm Bussy? yes 7 EPISODE 6: Book Nut http://b3bcc98f6ded1dcc3581720ab4482940 Fri, 11 Aug 2017 15:00:00 -0000 00:59:01 Luna and Blair CAN tell you who they are! And also where they live! What they can also tell you is that absolutely nobody hosting this podcast is being controlled by a Yeerk! Hey, come on down to The Sharing, it's a great time! Oh, yeah, we also... Luna and Blair CAN tell you who they are! And also where they live! What they can also tell you is that absolutely nobody hosting this podcast is being controlled by a Yeerk! Hey, come on down to The Sharing, it’s a great time! Oh, yeah, we also talked about a book or something. Jake’s back! It’s The Capture! We’re definitely human!

In addition to The Capture, your absolutely non-controlled hosts also discussed Animorphormers, A Deep Dive Into Richard’s Animorphs Forum, Teenecronomicon, The Back Dicks/Fantastic Beasts and Where to Watch Them, Luna’s Editing Skills, Death By Jibblies, Butthole Surgery, Yeerk Jacuzzi, and Werewolf-Style Imprisonment But With Pizza.

Things we discussed: The original cover

Strong Bad’s Bottom 10

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]]> Book Nut yes 6 EPISODE 5: Cryptozoologists LOVE The Unabomber http://d002b625916ab19b8d83a550bcd97878 Fri, 28 Jul 2017 15:00:00 -0000 01:03:07 Luna and Blair can't tell you who they are. Or where they live. What they can tell you, though, is that Kapplegate performs some truly heinous word crimes in this volume. Luna read and re-read this book too many times to count as a kid, and it... Luna and Blair can’t tell you who they are. Or where they live. What they can tell you, though, is that Kapplegate performs some truly heinous word crimes in this volume. Luna read and re-read this book too many times to count as a kid, and it apparently planted some serious phobias. But trust us, it’s great. In addition to The Predator, your hosts discuss: Self-Doxxing, The Six-Brain, Conversational Flips, Marco Is Incredibly Straight, Mike and the Milk Dud, Bomb Prank (Gone Sexual?), Ax LOVES Cinnabon, Sad Mall Stories, The Dreaded Stink Foot, Visser One REVEALED, Official Animorphs Ratings, Rachel the Xenomorph, and We Still Don’t Have A Fucking Outro.

Things we discussed: A cool Animorphs decal

The original cover

The single-image cover

Sorry about the weird cut in the middle! Luna’s internet entirely shit the bed and it was kinda hard to edit around.

]]> Cryptozoologists LOVE The Unabomber yes 5 EPISODE 4: Kapplegate's Word Crimes http://5f67386fa844ca5aa4e744df6cc6ba77 Thu, 13 Jul 2017 15:00:00 -0000 01:06:11 Luna and Blair can't tell you their real names. Or where they live. What they can tell you, though, is that they fucking LOVE Cassie. Also, we meet our collective son, Ax! The gang's finally all here! In addition to The Message, your... Luna and Blair can’t tell you their real names. Or where they live. What they can tell you, though, is that they fucking LOVE Cassie. Also, we meet our collective son, Ax! The gang’s finally all here! In addition to The Message, your hosts talk about: The First Book Cover for the Fourth Fucking Time, MORPH GAIN, Hypothetical Squirrel Dominance, The Last Podbender, What If: Dick Riordan, Horseshoe Theory, Theology Ruminations, Mark!, Everyone’s Fucking Gay, Monkey Dabbing, and Kappagate.

Things we discussed: Sheena, Queen of the Jungle clip

Lenticular Cover

Japanese Cover

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]]> Kapplegate's Word Crimes yes 4 EPISODE 3: Nature Vs. Nurture: Furry Edition http://9eee1934bae3dd83b9ec6d78ccb398e6 Fri, 30 Jun 2017 15:00:00 -0000 01:02:40 Luna and Blair can't tell you their real names. Or where they live. What they can tell you is, though, that Tobias leads an incredibly depressing life. In addition to The Encounter, your (anonymous) hosts discuss Podcast Passable,... Luna and Blair can’t tell you their real names. Or where they live. What they can tell you is, though, that Tobias leads an incredibly depressing life. In addition to The Encounter, your (anonymous) hosts discuss Podcast Passable, Animorphs Spoilers, The First And Last Episode of The Bone Zone, Animorphs: The Game, Proof Talk, Necessary Recap, Dog Interruption, Proogle, A DEEP Wikipedia Dive, Big Dick Rides

Things we talked about: Animorphs: Shattered Reality

Boris Cabrera being jacked as fuck

Death Battle: Visser Three vs. Mewtwo

]]> Nature Vs. Nurture: Furry Edition yes 3 EPISODE 2: All Women Are Queens, Marco http://74112faa52d056d55da2b2d932b7430c Fri, 16 Jun 2017 15:00:00 -0000 01:03:03 Luna and Blair can't tell you who they are. Or where they live. What they can tell you, though, is that these book titles barely mean anything, and that these kids are fucked up. This week, we read the second volume in the Animorphs saga, The Visitor!... Luna and Blair can’t tell you who they are. Or where they live. What they can tell you, though, is that these book titles barely mean anything, and that these kids are fucked up. This week, we read the second volume in the Animorphs saga, The Visitor! Also, apologies for the weird sound – had a few minor unfixable issues while recording.

]]> All Women Are Queens, Marco yes 2 EPISODE 1: Anthroponormative http://d9fe48cae778259d96d7082079816185 Fri, 02 Jun 2017 15:00:00 -0000 01:03:08 Luna and Blair can't tell you who they are. Or where they live. It's too risky, and they've got to be careful. Really careful. So they don't trust anyone. Because if they find them...well, they just won't let them find 'em.. The thing you... Luna and Blair can’t tell you who they are. Or where they live. It’s too risky, and they’ve got to be careful. Really careful. So they don’t trust anyone. Because if they find them…well, they just won’t let them find ’em.. The thing you should know is that everyone is in really big trouble. Yeah. Even you. Welcome to the inaugural episode of Luna and Blair’s Animorphs fancast! In addition to The Invasion, your (anonymous) hosts talk about Backflip Death, Andalite Vore, Great Animal Names, Delicate Boy Modesty, BIG JIM, and Permamorph.

]]> Anthroponormative yes 1