WEBVTT

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Theater of the Mind is for adults. Ears only. Listener discretion is advised.

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Hey, listener.

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This is Future Mike cutting in for.

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Just a quick second.

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For some reason, this is part. This was the third episode we recorded.

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In a row, and my voice is shot.

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So I apologize in advance for the.

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Just wonderful tone that my voice has throughout this episode, but I appreciate you sticking with us. Anyway, here is the episode. Welcome to Theater of the Mind presents Retribution, episode 42. I'm Mike. I'm your dungeon master. And this week's question from the ultimate RPG campfire card deck is what was the worst job you ever had? What made it so awful? What did it teach you?

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My name is Amanda and I am playing Mel Kelly. So one summer in high school, after having spent all this time with her dad and getting away with basically everything, when Mel went back over to her mom, she decided that Mel was spoiled, needed to get her own job. So Mal, mistakenly thinking it would be all fun and games, got a job at a daycare. It was not all fun and games. It was sticky and smelly and weepy and screamy. And Mel learned that she does not like children all that much, especially not children under the age of five. And she hates sticky. And don't even talk to her about diapers. So that was her little education lesson there.

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I'm Jeremy. I'm playing La Brandy Bain. And the worst job that Elliot, Randy Bane ever had was loading railroad ties into railroad cars at 25 cents. A railroad tie.

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That sucks.

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It was terrible. Jesus. His mom had to make him a leather set of shoulder pads so that he. He quit bleeding, carrying them up the planks and down. And so that was the. That was the worst job Elliot ever had. It was terrible. He decided that going into the army was a better idea.

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Fair.

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I am Brunel. I am playing Ulnock Varga Johnson. And Ulnock's most hated job that he's ever had. He's only had, like, four because he's been in the Navy for 20 years. But the one he hated the most was, in fact, in the Navy. And we've talked about it before. It's recruiting high schoolers to join the Navy in any capacity, because other than you guys, he basically hates people. So talking to other people and be like, it's gonna be great. It's not gonna be great. I'm not gonna. He was never one of those recruiters, like, there's a McDonald's on the carrier. No, there isn't.

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Right.

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Like. Or you could join the hockey team if you go to the midshipman College. Sure, that's a possibility, but not for your average recruit. You have to be accepted into officer school first. Anyway, those are lies that were told to me anyway. But yeah, that's. That's the one he hated the most. But after that, it was working fast food in the mall for the same reason.

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Eight people.

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Hello, I'm Downs and I'm playing James o' Brien. And James, worst job that he's ever done before is saving the world.

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You don't get pay is shit.

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The pay is garbage. I have to cook food for a bunch of people all the time, breakfast, lunch, and dinner, when we're constantly being attacked and we haven't even done it yet. So, yeah, that's James's worst job.

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He. He could let us cook, he just won't.

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I'm Casey. I play Emory Lee. And Emory, for a short period of time, was a pizza delivery driver.

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I enjoyed that job personally and you.

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Know, she just did not like it. And there's something really vulnerable about going to people's houses and knocking on their doors, especially day in and day out in sometimes remote areas of town that are not necessarily a place you want to be as a young woman on your own.

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Fair.

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Lord of Moritar's worst job was when he was a squire. The knight that he was squiring for was a piece of shit.

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At least it wasn't sticky.

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Yeah. You know what? When a Moritar says they're a piece of shit, there's a high probability you're an absolute piece of.

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Yeah. And on that note, let's go ahead and roll for recap.

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What's the. What's the roll?

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Let's go high. Let's go basic.

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2.

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13, 7, 15.

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All right.

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I got lucky cuz I was like, now I got to try to remember what we just did.

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It's not hard.

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It should not, but it was it me up.

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We fought Lord Ash Raphael. We made it a astonishing 13 rounds with him and all of his goons, with Emery going down twice and still making it back onto her feet. Thanks to her friends, Sadie is now free and with the group. And at the end of the fight, Lord Ashraphael summoned his last bit of energy, opened a portion of portal to the zombie side of the zombie wall in Fort Morgan, and lightning blasted the wall to hopefully for him release the zombies into town. So we are trying to make it to Jacob before his goons do and try and find a way out of this weird cathedral dimension that we found ourselves in.

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I don't remember that Plane of existence. The cathedral plane.

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We don't know where we are. We just know.

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We have no idea.

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Incidentally, Emory and Mel are still deaf.

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Still deaf for another 28 minutes. 28 and a half minutes.

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Olnock was in the other plane for a little bit.

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Yep. It's weird, isn't it?

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It is odd, huh? Very straight.

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I started getting old.

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Why would you talk to me?

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I can't.

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What?

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It's speaking to a brick wall that can talk to you.

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Asking questions and then. Huh.

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You know what? That's in character right there.

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So we are currently staring at the hole that Ashraphael disappeared through at these sideways zombies.

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So Mel goes over to Elliot and starts fishing around in his quiver.

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Hey, what are you doing in there?

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And pulls out the broom.

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God damn it. He slaps her hand.

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Stop. She pulls out the broom. And then she mimes at Emory and Elliot to get on the broom with her. And then she's like. And then she realizes she's deaf, but she can still talk. And then stops miming and goes, get on the broom. Fly the broom through the hole.

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What?

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I think you're crazy.

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James is gonna start translating again. Mel wants to go in a whirlwind adventure with you and Elliot.

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He's gotta climb on the broom. He thinks you're nuts.

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That's fine.

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He does have. He does have his sword and his.

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Emery watches Elliot do it and just kind of shrugs like, all right, I guess.

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Oh, and when he sits on the broom, when he. He reaches up and taps Mel on the shoulder. Casts cure wounds at second level, you're going to get 12 hit points from that.

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If we're out of initiative, can I burn one of the uses of the medkit and heal Ulnock?

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How long does it take? Just an action. Just an action and yeah, go for it.

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Cool.

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As much fun as it's been being at one hit point for the last seven rounds.

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Rounds.

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Yeah. How much are you healing? Olok for.

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Stam. But I'm trying to remember how much.

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Wasn'T that 13?

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It's a D6 plus 4, so not 1309. Yeah, you get nine hit points back.

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You feel a little better. Ulnok.

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You know what? That makes potentially a lot of difference depending on what we run into.

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The band aids that you're able to see are very, very manly looking. Band aids. You know, some Power Rangers, but I ran out halfway through. So on your back there's a couple unicorns.

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I'm okay with it.

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You're in the Navy. It totally works.

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The wrong Plan. But he's gonna look at Emory and go. You look just as bad. He's gonna use his last spell slot. He's gonna give you 12 hit points.

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All right.

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I'm grateful Elliot is completely tapped at this point.

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Well, while you were standing there. James. Don't hit me.

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Hit me.

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Heal me. Help. Help me.

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I do. I use up another charge off the med kit to heal Mel some more as well.

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So that's another nine.

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Another nine.

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Right. Nine was average.

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Yes.

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Okay. All right.

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And we have done as much healing as we can. Yep.

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So while you guys are healing, you do see the undead continue to batter at the wall.

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We gotta. I think we gotta.

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Okay, let's go. So I look at old Hawk and James and I'm like.

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I do the same thing. And then you see me like blue skidoo. And I jump into the hole and.

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Then I go up and we shoot through the hole in the broom.

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All right.

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And currently the room only has 30ft of movement just on FYI because we are at more than 200 pound capacity at the moment.

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Dexterity save. Yeah.

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Can I do that advantage? Because I saw Asherophile's body go, so I know exactly which direction it's. No. Okay.

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No, no.

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I figured I'd track.

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You've never encountered gravity pulling or a 90 degree.

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It's wrong. Yeah.

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Oh, that is a 16.

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I say, didn't we just do that? But wrong campaign.

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Wrong campaign.

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Yeah.

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Yes.

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16 totals 16.

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Okay.

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You're able to do it.

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You land on your feet. It's definitely disorienting as well. Yeah.

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Like little shaky and like. Yeah. My equilibrium and my ears hurt.

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I see that he succeeded, so I'm gonna follow in kind.

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Dexterity save for me as well.

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Dexterity save.

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We forgot about Sadie. She's the third person and he's getting.

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Oh, yeah, sorry.

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Hellgate your friend as well. Damn.

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Ellie got pushed off the bruise. When we send it back, she has to be part of it.

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Yes, Sadie will be part of that.

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I make wait here. Hand signals at Sadie as we fly off.

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You get all she sees.

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Everybody else leave the church.

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Can't we just come in here, rescue.

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Her and then forget about her?

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Classic danger.

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You can make your way home. We don't know where we are, but go for it.

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So she does decide that she's going to disobey you because he's in a room with a bunch of dead bodies with a hole that doesn't look permanent. That's a fair assumption. Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Or I could leave her in the.

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I did see several of these clothes behind her. So.

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So she's going to go and be with Ulnock and James.

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Great.

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Because as you guys are moving through you do see that the portal is collapsing.

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Okay.

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Yeah.

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So she fails however on her Dex save and eats shit. Lands right next to Asherphile's body. Didn't delete. He's still here.

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But you said body.

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Wait, I have one of those.

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He just says bloodied now.

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I don't know. He got healing somehow.

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No, he did not. I reject this.

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If we're out of initiative, can I go over and stab him?

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Sure.

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Go. I go over with my sword of wounding.

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Right.

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For the neck.

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You stab the corpse.

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Cool.

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He bleeds more now stay dead.

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Yeah, stay dead.

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How do we fare flying through the portal?

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Let's get a. It's not gonna be Dex for you guys. But I could see Khan say as being a thing for.

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That's true. You're gonna be just gonna flip using.

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Really fucked up motion sickness.

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I got a 19.

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I got 19 as well.

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24 7.

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You are nauseous as that's fair. This is the least fun fun roller coaster you've ridden because it's not fast but it's all the stomach effects. Yeah.

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I've been on that roller coaster.

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Was this doing this the entire way up? Just stuttering.

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Been on that roller coaster. I was nauseous all night.

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So the DM was not privy to your broom plan.

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What is broom plane? Okay, so once we get on the other side, we're going to fly the broom over to to the non zombie side of the wall.

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Okay.

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Elliot, Emory and I are going to get off. I can actually send the broom within a mile of me.

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Okay.

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So I'm going to send the broom back for the other three. So revising the plan cuz we did forget Sadie exists. Sadie first, then Ulnock, then James and we can just keep ferrying the broom back and forth until everybody is on the non zombie side of the the wall.

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So am I safe in assuming the rest of you are hoping to not draw the attention of this insanely large zombie horde?

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Yeah, that's the idea.

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I need group. Well I guess just the two of you. Because if they see you guys whatever. Right?

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Yeah.

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You're cuz we're flying stealth then three Sadie.

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Yeah, because I'm guessing if they're beating.

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On the wall my stealth is so good you guys. So good.

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So good.

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I thought it's amazing.

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Sadie, come on.

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Oh no.

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Damn it.

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At least also natural 20.

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Yeah.

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Wild yeah.

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And then Sadie's like a 2, so.

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That'S a 29 in total.

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Yeah, I got a 22, but.

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All right.

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Turns out I'm really good at sneaking away from zombies.

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Yeah.

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Nice.

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You.

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It's because you hurt so much you don't want to move.

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It's just leave me alone. Sadie meanwhile, rolled a six, but average she steps.

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Is it a. Is it a group stealth check? Please be a group stealth check.

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How are you guys flying?

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Slowly. Apparently it's. How far away is the wall?

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It's a three story building tall.

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Yeah.

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So we're just gonna come out of the hole at a minimum to the top climb.

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So take. I'm gonna say it'd probably take two turns just to get high enough to clear the wall. Say a turns worth of forward motion.

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Okay.

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And then that same amount of turns the wall was.

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The wall was wide on top, wasn't it?

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No.

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Oh, it wasn't. Okay, never mind.

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There is one side of it where they built wall around a building. So I mean there's some like rooftop areas, but the wall itself is like pallets and shit kind of cobbled together.

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So it's not like a tower.

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Yeah. No.

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Now on the, on the return trips, the broom can move 50ft.

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Okay.

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Because the only reason why it's 30ft right now is because we have more than 200 pounds on it.

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Gotcha.

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When it's just firing back safe single people. Although honestly, we could probably pull off Sadie and James.

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Yeah, yeah.

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Two trips would be better.

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Yeah. If we, we. If we did Sadie and James, we'd only have to do two trips and it'll still be over £200. So it'll be slow on the return trips.

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So it's gonna be five to get you over. I'll say two to get it back and then another five to get it over.

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Yeah.

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Turns wise rough enough. So 12 turns.

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And then another two to get it back for all knock.

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Yeah. Yeah. So 14 and then. Oh no. How much do you weigh?

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250.

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Okay. So.

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Well then you said there's a building. We can just go up to the top of the building. And there's no zombies at the top of the building, right?

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Not currently, I guess.

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Which is closer to get to the other side of the wall or get to the top of the building. Could we save turns that way?

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Yeah, absolutely. If all you do is go up, you can save turns.

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Okay, let's do that. And then we can do this in less than four hours.

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Yeah, perfect. So you guys are flying up Olnok and James did a fantastic job hiding, I'm going to say, when Sadie fell out of the hole, because, I mean, it's just not something you can really think well for. You know, she eats it and she sees Asherophile's body right next to her, who was just a fairly traumatic experience. She screams, yeah, Eep. Which does draw the attention of some of the horde. The whole horde doesn't turn around and.

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It'S like, God, that would be so terrifying. All the zombies to stop moving and they all turn around at the same time.

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So for the first round, the thing that does worry you guys is you can see that they are absolutely going to break out of here. This wall will not hold for very long at all. But yeah, you guys are able to get up to the roof. You send it back down. Those of you up on the roof, it is night time. Also because it was nighttime when we entered into all this. That's how the vampire was able to join you.

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I think I still. No, that would have. Light would have dropped.

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Oh, yeah.

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I had light on my necklace that whole time and I just didn't remember it.

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That's funny. So once you guys are up top, you can see that it's very obviously going to be like seconds and this wall is collapsing. What do you guys want to do about that? Or what is your. What is your plan once you get on the rift now?

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What can. Oh, can we like, run downstairs from that building or something out the backside and get Emery to start mending it?

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I can. Mending does take a minute to cast, so, I mean, it's gonna be. I can't. I cannot cast it fast enough.

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Okay.

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Yeah.

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Is the reason why the wall is failing because the zombies are pushing up.

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Against it after a guy hit by a lightning bolt? Yes.

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Yeah. Okay.

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It's. It's failing due to critical damage. Yeah.

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Okay. I. I didn't know if, like, if the zombies stopped pushing up against it, it would still crumble or.

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Well, I mean, no, if the zombies stop, but what do you want to do?

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Did we all make it up to the roof already? No, no, no.

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Okay, just then.

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Yeah, we've made it up and we've sent. Where's the broom Is on its way up back.

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Hold on. I'm checking to see if I'm stupid.

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You are. We all know why you're rolling for that.

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Yeah, I'm stupid.

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You guys also have a God's corpse at your feet, too, if you want to look at that while you're there.

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You should look at that.

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Yeah.

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I'm gonna look at the God's corpse I guess right now.

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Perfect. You said we're three stories up y so we're looking 30, 40ft?

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Sure.

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Is that inspection from checking the.

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Okay. So I can. I'll draw my bow if I see any zombies that get too close to the group.

20:18.710 --> 20:19.190
Okay.

20:19.350 --> 20:20.310
Take shots at me.

20:20.310 --> 20:21.430
Sniper shot from above.

20:21.430 --> 20:27.280
Yeah, perfect. Cuz I'm like oh, I can see that far. I wasn't sure if I could see, but I got 60 foot of dark vision so I can can see.

20:28.160 --> 20:31.280
I'm pretty sure it's the same regardless. I just want to know what I'm rolling.

20:33.280 --> 20:38.000
There's another natural. 20 stupid. Wasting them now. 26 total.

20:39.760 --> 20:40.160
9.

20:40.480 --> 20:42.480
Okay. You don't see dick.

20:42.960 --> 20:44.400
You don't have vision.

20:45.440 --> 21:11.890
You're looking at them and normally. So like, like I described in two episodes three episodes ago now he was shirtless. He had armor on his arms, spiky armor and like crown. Thorny kind of crown growing out of his head. Looking at him closely now, his armor is him like a character.

21:11.890 --> 21:12.930
It is a part of him.

21:12.930 --> 21:39.090
So you can't like take his gauntlets off. They are fused into him. And you can now see now that the magic glass always done. His possibly tattoos were absolutely deep scars. You see every. Every ounce of damage that Jeff's body had taken amplified a thousand fold on this dude's body. You do also see his flail.

21:41.090 --> 21:42.290
I'm gonna take the flail.

21:45.760 --> 21:50.960
Then he's got, you know, we'll say he's got some gold or something in his pouch. But yeah.

21:53.760 --> 21:54.960
So I'm gonna grab the flail.

21:55.120 --> 21:55.840
Perfect.

21:55.840 --> 21:57.520
Nothing happens when I touch it, does it?

21:57.520 --> 22:00.320
No. That's good. No. It is not a cursed weapon.

22:01.760 --> 22:04.640
I realized that after the fact of me saying that I was gonna touch it.

22:04.960 --> 22:06.120
I'm gonna touch it.

22:06.120 --> 22:07.680
Yeah. James would know that.

22:11.850 --> 22:13.050
I like touching things.

22:13.050 --> 22:15.370
And I'm gonna send you something via Discord.

22:16.490 --> 22:17.290
Uh oh.

22:18.010 --> 22:19.930
Cause that's the best way I know how to get it to you.

22:20.250 --> 22:20.730
Cool.

22:22.250 --> 22:28.170
Can I apologize for those at home? My throat's the sight of I apparently gravelly this episode.

22:29.530 --> 22:31.450
That episode took five years.

22:33.450 --> 22:42.740
That chain smoked a lot last. We got those stupid fish smelling flower trees blooming out here and they fuck me up every day.

22:42.740 --> 22:43.500
They mess you up.

22:43.500 --> 22:47.940
Yeah. Maybe I'll send it to you on Discord if it loads.

22:47.940 --> 22:48.340
Yeah.

22:48.340 --> 22:49.420
Those are the white ones.

22:49.660 --> 22:50.220
I think.

22:50.220 --> 22:55.460
I think those are dogwood or Bradford pears. Those are blooming right now too.

22:55.460 --> 22:56.060
Could be either.

22:56.060 --> 22:57.100
And they smell awful.

22:57.820 --> 23:00.700
I always thought dogwood was sweet. So it might be the pears.

23:00.860 --> 23:02.380
Bradford pears smell terrible.

23:02.380 --> 23:03.260
They do, yeah.

23:03.260 --> 23:12.380
And it's a very, very common ornamental tree. Very invasive too. If you have Bradford pears, cut that down, burn it.

23:13.420 --> 23:15.580
Don't get me started in a safe environment, please.

23:18.060 --> 23:20.220
All right, maybe I'm not sending this to you, I guess.

23:20.220 --> 23:20.780
All right.

23:20.939 --> 23:21.980
Discord won't load.

23:22.300 --> 23:26.140
Can you send it in a text and I can look it up? If it's a thing, it's on the computer.

23:26.140 --> 23:27.340
Yeah, it's on my computer.

23:27.580 --> 23:28.220
I didn't know if.

23:28.220 --> 23:36.870
I'm also trying to open signal so I can send it to you there. And that's not wanting to work either. Okay. So you. That super secure thing, you don't get to have his flail, apparently.

23:36.870 --> 23:37.350
Damn.

23:37.350 --> 23:41.030
No, this cool humpy weapon that I made.

23:41.350 --> 23:42.630
So that's why it's not to show up.

23:42.630 --> 23:48.710
You know, you. You don't have time. He doesn't have time to attune to do it anyway, so it'll be irrelevant until next session.

23:48.710 --> 23:51.710
Yeah, I'm just gonna stuff it in my back pocket until it loads.

23:51.710 --> 23:56.090
The only part about it that's kind of noteworthy right now is the whole thing feels warm to the touch.

23:57.600 --> 24:01.120
And you said that like the way the light was shimmering off of it, that it was like almost alive.

24:02.000 --> 24:03.840
You do see that kind of dissipating.

24:04.240 --> 24:08.480
Okay. Like it was almost shimmering without light hitting it.

24:10.320 --> 24:19.200
So that's definitely fading. Elliot's got a good watch from above. 90 of the dead or undead that you guys are dealing with are just bog standard zombies.

24:19.360 --> 24:19.920
Okay.

24:20.400 --> 24:30.010
You do see up against the wall some truly horrific. The biggest, beefiest boys are up front trying to break this wall down.

24:30.170 --> 24:35.450
How far from us on top of the building is that? Is it within 60ft?

24:38.970 --> 24:41.130
You guys are like 30ish feet up.

24:41.690 --> 24:42.130
Yeah.

24:42.130 --> 24:46.010
I'm going to say they probably gave. It's a pretty good sized crow, so I'm going to say probably no.

24:46.250 --> 24:46.810
Okay.

24:48.820 --> 24:54.340
After searching dead guy, would I have time to do anything before the wall collapses?

24:54.660 --> 24:55.620
What do you want to do?

24:57.380 --> 25:00.980
This is gonna be the dumbest fucking thing James has ever done in his life.

25:01.220 --> 25:02.340
Sadie's with you.

25:04.260 --> 25:13.740
Sadie's with Olnok, which is with you. Yeah, but if I go that way, and by that way I mean like move away from the group and then.

25:13.740 --> 25:16.520
Start making noise away from the wall too. I'm guessing.

25:16.520 --> 25:18.800
Yes, you could sure do that.

25:18.960 --> 25:20.240
I'm gonna do that.

25:20.880 --> 25:29.120
All right, go ahead and idiot guess Persuasion to See how many of these things you get to pay attention to yet?

25:29.520 --> 25:40.280
Yeah. So, yeah, I'm gonna move 90ft that way. And then I'm gonna cast minor illusion and start making noises centered on me in my general area. And what you wanted me to roll? Sorry.

25:40.280 --> 25:40.760
Persuasion.

25:40.760 --> 25:43.880
I guess persuasion could be a performance.

25:44.200 --> 26:07.600
Performance would work. Yeah. Whichever one's higher. 18. You absolutely get the attention to some. You get the attention of a lot of cool. And you also rolled an incredibly high stealth. So Olnok and Sadie did not see you slip away to do this. That's way above all not's passive persuasion.

26:07.600 --> 26:08.040
So I.

26:08.200 --> 26:08.920
Perception.

26:09.140 --> 26:19.220
Yeah. So I slipped off towards the right away from the group that way, trying to head away from the wall as much as possible. And I'm just spamming minor illusion, making noise centered on myself. I am more cowbell.

26:20.500 --> 26:23.220
Tonk, tonk, tonk, tonk, tonk. Okay.

26:24.340 --> 26:28.100
Getting as much shit away from that wall so the wall doesn't collapse.

26:29.300 --> 26:29.860
Okay.

26:30.100 --> 26:37.900
And I'm also, if. If I could, in between the minor illusions, maybe do a firebolt to light up the area so the zombies can see me that way too.

26:37.980 --> 26:56.540
Sure. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. You can do that, buddy. Okay. I didn't actually have stats for how many monsters are in here engaging in combat with.

26:56.540 --> 26:57.260
He didn't expect.

26:57.340 --> 26:58.060
He didn't expect.

26:58.380 --> 26:59.500
Trying to engage.

27:00.410 --> 27:03.130
Oh, no, he is trying to engage.

27:06.570 --> 27:10.730
So while he's busy trying to engage, can we get the broom back to Sadie?

27:11.930 --> 27:13.930
Yeah. You guys can continue on with your plan.

27:14.650 --> 27:18.650
The broom gets back there and Sadie goes to get out. He's like, wait, where'd he go?

27:19.050 --> 27:23.850
Yeah, both Sadie and I'm not there anymore. But I guess Sadie will not get in on the broom together.

27:23.850 --> 27:25.530
Sadie and will not get on the room.

27:25.530 --> 27:27.450
And it's back to the. Just the 30ft.

27:27.630 --> 27:27.950
Yeah.

27:29.150 --> 27:33.390
So what I'm going to say is if you rolled a nat 20, I would have said that that stops all of them.

27:34.430 --> 27:34.910
Yeah.

27:34.990 --> 28:05.770
I'm not going to give you all of them, but we will say that it's going to give enough time for them to get out and they can get down or move on to the next step of their plan before this wall collapses. So we're going to kind of treat it as a. We're going to treat it kind of like an action. We're not really an initiative. We're not talking about about six seconds at a time, but you have enough time to do one more thing before all the zombies descend on you. And we'll give it one more round after that. Before the wall fails.

28:05.770 --> 28:06.410
Okay.

28:08.250 --> 28:13.410
So everybody has a chance to do one more thing. Your thing. Ulnock is traveling for this round.

28:13.410 --> 28:14.530
Yeah, I'm on the room.

28:14.530 --> 28:14.890
Yeah.

28:14.890 --> 28:15.610
With Sadie.

28:15.610 --> 28:20.730
What are the rooftoppers doing? You don't see James. He rolls fantastic.

28:20.970 --> 28:22.810
Just disappeared again like he does.

28:22.810 --> 28:26.650
Yeah, well, he did send off the white.

28:26.810 --> 28:29.610
You do see a fireball go off, so I guess you could see that.

28:29.690 --> 28:31.450
Yeah, I'm probably launching actually in this.

28:31.450 --> 28:38.410
I feet off to the side of everything trying to draw a zombie horde to him. And you do see that this is working.

28:38.970 --> 28:49.170
So I, I, Elliot's just going to pick off the early. I can get three shots off in the place first. The three guys that are moving the closest he's gonna.

28:49.170 --> 28:52.730
Are you focusing on protecting him or are you focusing on protecting Sadie?

28:53.690 --> 28:54.650
Oh, Sadie.

28:54.650 --> 28:55.010
Okay.

28:55.010 --> 29:06.570
I know Sadie's on. Yeah. So he should be the only one. Okay. So that's what I'm doing. The three closest ones, I'm gonna be trying to bury arrows in their faces.

29:06.730 --> 29:07.370
All right.

29:07.370 --> 29:10.570
Because I saw zombie TV shows too.

29:13.780 --> 29:15.220
What are you doing, Mel?

29:15.220 --> 29:29.260
I no longer have any ranged attacks, but I can see that the broom plan is working. Even though I'm confused because I have no idea where James went. But I'm gonna start working my way back down. I'm assuming the building has stairs to get down on the safe side.

29:29.260 --> 29:30.820
Yeah, we'll say that. The fire escape.

29:30.820 --> 29:37.740
Okay. Mel's gonna start hurtling down there because her worry right now is J. Jacob.

29:37.820 --> 29:38.780
Okay, fair.

29:38.940 --> 29:46.500
So she's going to start heading back towards the house or wherever we left Jacob. And she would totally remember that because she's a better person.

29:46.500 --> 29:54.780
They were, I think Emery's parents were taking Jacob and they were going to the church to try to get a church group together to look for Sadie.

29:54.780 --> 29:55.540
That sounds right.

29:55.540 --> 29:56.380
That sounds right.

29:57.340 --> 30:03.420
She's going to the church then, I guess and y' all can hopefully catch up.

30:04.130 --> 30:07.810
Are we in the pen by the cemetery or the hospital?

30:09.970 --> 30:10.770
Closer to the hospital.

30:11.490 --> 30:15.410
Okay, how far away from the church then?

30:15.410 --> 30:21.890
It's like almost a mile. Cool.

30:22.370 --> 30:23.810
Mel can run a mile, right?

30:23.810 --> 30:28.530
I'm gonna guess Mel's probably looking at a seven minute mile.

30:30.540 --> 30:31.260
Especially now.

30:33.020 --> 30:44.380
I mean, I know really good is like for a girl's probably like a six minute mile and she's tired so I'm gonna give her seven, seven and a half minute mile. It'll take a bit.

30:44.620 --> 30:45.740
That sounds reasonable.

30:47.980 --> 30:50.780
Hopefully all will have caught up by then.

30:50.940 --> 30:55.260
Well, honestly, he just yelled at him like 2 minutes ago though, to go.

30:55.260 --> 30:58.100
After so yeah, it hasn't been that long.

30:58.420 --> 30:59.380
She's worried.

30:59.780 --> 31:00.500
That's fine.

31:00.500 --> 31:02.100
And they gotta, they gotta find.

31:02.180 --> 31:14.100
It's only been one round. I am 90ft down the fire escape. You can. I was gonna say you can still yell at me, but I can't hear you. You can still throw something at me.

31:14.740 --> 31:18.340
I'm busy shooting zombies. I don't even know you're gone.

31:18.340 --> 31:23.510
I don't have range detects. Yeah, I lost my shortbow and I threw my spear.

31:23.510 --> 31:37.030
So I can not really see much. So I'm going to cast a light on my necklace again. Just get back, back so I can actually see what's going on again.

31:37.270 --> 31:37.830
Okay.

31:38.950 --> 31:44.150
So it does kind of make us a beacon up here. But that is what it is.

31:44.950 --> 31:45.350
Fair.

31:46.720 --> 31:46.960
Fair.

31:48.080 --> 31:49.680
I am going to add in.

31:49.840 --> 31:53.760
I would do other things but I don't think I could see anything. So.

31:55.760 --> 31:57.600
Valid. Concerned.

32:04.880 --> 32:09.520
And then I yell, what the fuck is James doing? Because I couldn't hear all the noise that he was making.

32:10.640 --> 32:14.160
Yeah, you just see like a couple of firebolts launching the sky like flares.

32:14.160 --> 32:19.720
Which is why I cast the lights. I'm like what is happening over there? Wait, is that James? What the fuck is he doing?

32:21.960 --> 32:23.560
So James, what the fuck are you doing?

32:27.240 --> 32:52.470
At this point I noticed that I pulled off quite a few of the zombies away from the wall. So it probably at that point I would continue minor illusions but instead of centered on myself going off in the same direction that I was going to and then I'm a 90 degree turn and go the opposite direction. Not towards the zombies, but fresh performance check then. Yeah, that is a 17.

32:54.470 --> 32:56.150
Quite as strong as what you had.

32:59.430 --> 33:10.560
Also just a general reminder, when the broom goes back for James, when he comes back, he'll get the full 50ft. Unless you weigh over 200 pounds.

33:10.560 --> 33:11.320
I weigh 150.

33:11.480 --> 33:12.120
You're fine.

33:12.840 --> 33:40.130
So I'm gonna say the horde makes it to James. I'm just running them as a mass so I'm not gonna add fucking 15, 20, 30 zombies. That's just silly. You do get to reduce this a little bit. I'm gonna, I'm reduce these stats a little bit because you got some of them to go away.

33:40.370 --> 33:41.010
Okay.

33:41.170 --> 33:45.450
But you did a better job drawing them to you than you did distracting them away from you.

33:45.450 --> 33:51.330
Yeah. Unfortunately James was probably like, oh yeah, I got him away from the wall. That's a lot more than I thought.

33:52.690 --> 33:56.210
I got up away from the wall and they're heading for me.

33:59.060 --> 33:59.860
That's going to hit.

34:02.660 --> 34:03.780
Uncanny dodge.

34:08.500 --> 34:41.850
So Again, this is a series of creatures attacking you effectively. Y is the idea behind this horde. This is going to sound pretty catastrophic. It's not as catastrophic as it sounds. I'm gonna reduce their stats a little bit here. The original Zombie Horde did 12d6 of damage. These guys aren't gonna do quite that much because you did distract some of them away. But this was an admittedly stupid plan, so I'm not gonna feel terrible about having this do something to you.

34:41.930 --> 34:44.730
Yeah, I was just trying to keep him from blowing up or breaking the wall.

34:46.970 --> 34:49.450
It's 27 damage from their first attack.

34:49.530 --> 34:50.890
Okay. Uncanny dodge.

34:51.349 --> 34:51.789
Does What?

34:51.789 --> 34:52.149
Half.

34:52.229 --> 34:55.189
Okay, 27 halved is 2613.

34:55.509 --> 34:56.069
Yep.

35:00.469 --> 35:02.709
That'S their first attack. Who did I do that to?

35:02.789 --> 35:03.989
Lord Asherphile.

35:09.349 --> 35:10.469
Suddenly he's dead again.

35:10.549 --> 35:11.749
He's deader again.

35:13.749 --> 35:17.960
Their second attack comes at you. Can you. Can he dodge each time?

35:18.200 --> 35:18.760
Nope.

35:19.240 --> 35:22.680
Bummer. Okay. Sorry, buddy.

35:23.000 --> 35:23.880
I going down.

35:25.240 --> 35:25.880
I'm sure.

35:25.960 --> 35:26.920
Yeah, yeah.

35:27.240 --> 35:30.360
12D6. Yeah, yeah.

35:32.360 --> 35:33.680
Where are you? Where are you?

35:33.680 --> 35:34.520
I'm at the top.

35:36.760 --> 35:40.000
It's a 15 to hit. That's a six plus nine to hit.

35:40.000 --> 35:40.840
Yeah, that hits.

35:44.290 --> 35:51.170
And the first one was their bite, which does 12D6. This does 12D8, which I'm going to reduce down to 8D8. Cuz you've got some of them to go away.

35:55.970 --> 35:56.770
Roll like.

35:58.930 --> 36:00.210
Your fate lies in good.

36:00.210 --> 36:01.650
Cannot roll badly enough.

36:01.730 --> 36:02.450
35.

36:02.770 --> 36:03.810
Oh my God.

36:05.330 --> 36:06.250
Jesus Christ, James.

36:06.250 --> 36:07.650
You got smoke, son.

36:09.230 --> 36:09.910
Okay, new plan.

36:09.910 --> 36:18.510
So, Elliot and Emery, you see the horde. Ow. I don't like this. This doesn't feel good.

36:20.990 --> 36:23.790
They're gonna fucking eat you alive, man.

36:24.750 --> 36:26.030
You see the horde?

36:26.350 --> 36:28.110
I was hoping that they would go that way.

36:28.430 --> 36:30.430
Well, you can hope all you want.

36:30.430 --> 36:34.610
To, but you knew it wasn't gonna.

36:36.840 --> 36:37.480
This sucks.

36:38.440 --> 36:39.480
Is it done yet?

36:40.120 --> 36:46.920
Doesn't matter for you, buddy. So, unfortunately, a zombie horde has a trait called a feral rage.

36:46.920 --> 36:47.400
Oh.

36:51.480 --> 36:55.240
Feral rage. Creatures that are reduced to zero hit points by a zombie horde are torn.

36:55.240 --> 36:57.040
Limb from limb and devoured by the ravenous.

36:57.040 --> 36:57.960
Okay, so I'm dead.

36:59.080 --> 36:59.560
Wow.

36:59.560 --> 37:01.010
I did not see that coming.

37:01.650 --> 37:02.370
I did.

37:02.850 --> 37:03.690
Well, I just.

37:03.690 --> 37:04.850
It's a zombie war.

37:05.010 --> 37:13.170
Killed a demigod. I didn't expect James to die. I was at one hit point for five rounds. Emory went down twice and James just.

37:14.050 --> 37:15.890
That went a hell of a lot better in my head.

37:33.100 --> 37:39.620
Hey there, listener. That kind of came out of nowhere there, didn't it? I'll keep this ad break short so.

37:39.620 --> 37:42.220
You can dive back in and see what comes next.

37:43.740 --> 37:50.860
First off, thank you to the listeners that sent in questions for our Q and A episode. That will be episode 45.

37:50.940 --> 37:51.200
So.

37:51.270 --> 38:29.670
So you'll be hearing that in the near future. Also, if you like what we're doing here, consider joining our patreon. For only $5 a month, you get access to our Side Quest content, which follows some of this cast and a less familiar voice on a separate adventure that takes place in the same world as Retribution. Unlike Retribution, that content is a fair bit looser and enjoyably chaotic. As always, if you like what we're doing, consider following us on social media. Our producer and current social media guru Gale is putting out some dank memes.

38:29.750 --> 38:31.350
As the youths say.

38:31.750 --> 38:40.310
And odds are, if you enjoy this show, you'll enjoy that content as well. Anyway, I promise to keep this brief, so let's get back to the show.

38:55.840 --> 38:57.440
I. Elliot's.

38:57.440 --> 38:57.640
What?

38:57.640 --> 39:08.080
He's pouring fire down one arrow after another, trying to keep him off. And he's. He's like, I. I don't know what to do. I can't get you.

39:09.750 --> 39:10.310
So, James.

39:10.710 --> 39:11.190
Yeah.

39:11.270 --> 39:12.550
Describe your final stand.

39:17.030 --> 39:24.230
I don't know. Probably stab as many as I can when I go down.

39:24.870 --> 39:25.830
Yeah, probably.

39:25.830 --> 39:38.160
God, Elliot, what are you doing while you see this happening?

39:40.320 --> 40:19.300
Elliot's watching it. And in every contingency that he has got in his head, there's not a damn thing he can do. Sees nothing for it. I can't help because Ulnar's last on the broom. He's coming up right now. So I'm just screaming with rage, just one arrow after another after another. And that's what Oloc sees when he comes up and he's gonna look at Allnok. He says, I don't know what the hell to do. He ran the hell over there. I got nothing. We can't go in there.

40:20.340 --> 40:23.300
There's fucking way too many of them for us to go in there.

40:24.340 --> 40:27.910
Olnock, give me a reception check for while you were traveling.

40:29.830 --> 40:33.110
That's a 20, which is still a minus one, so 19.

40:37.190 --> 40:41.350
I'm going to say. You see the horde descending on him.

40:41.590 --> 40:42.109
Okay.

40:42.109 --> 40:53.200
While you're in transit, there's anything you want to try to do, you can. He is completely ripped asunder.

40:56.080 --> 40:58.000
Is there fucking anything I can do?

40:58.160 --> 41:00.720
You can steer the broom and try to pull him out.

41:03.360 --> 41:04.720
What's the max capacity?

41:04.880 --> 41:07.360
£400. You guys could both fly on it.

41:07.920 --> 41:09.360
Sadie's still on it with me, right?

41:09.520 --> 41:11.040
Oh, shit, I forgot about Sadie.

41:11.360 --> 41:12.080
Sadie way.

41:12.480 --> 41:15.080
I mean, she's a 17 year old girl. So what?

41:15.080 --> 41:15.760
Not a ton.

41:16.480 --> 41:18.320
116 there.

41:18.480 --> 41:19.000
Okay.

41:19.000 --> 41:20.000
Hold on, let me max.

41:20.400 --> 41:29.840
Cuz I would never know this. What? 16 +250 puts us at 366. So unless James went on a critical diet.

41:29.920 --> 41:30.720
Oh damn.

41:32.320 --> 41:33.240
We're too heavy.

41:33.240 --> 41:34.240
We're too heavy.

41:34.240 --> 41:36.400
I would just trade places with him. That's all I would do.

41:36.560 --> 41:37.840
Don't. He's all.

41:37.840 --> 41:38.560
Oh hell no.

41:39.120 --> 41:41.200
That was. That was my own stupidity. Don't do that.

41:43.280 --> 41:51.120
The only thing. It's not going to do it. It's not going to do it. But all. All Elliot could possibly do is grab that bag of beans that he has in the deal.

41:51.120 --> 41:52.720
Because we eat them and hope for.

41:52.720 --> 42:03.840
The best and just yeet it right into the middle of them to try to take. Hang on. I'll give you the numbers. It's not a lot. It's not going to fix it. It's.

42:03.840 --> 42:07.360
I don't have any magical item that can help. I have no way of helping James.

42:07.360 --> 42:17.950
It's even knowing 5v4 fire damage for the bag of beans. If you dump. If you throw the bag of beans it explodes into a ten foot man.

42:17.950 --> 42:19.630
That would have made a hell of a chili.

42:20.910 --> 42:37.040
Let's see here. It's a DC15 save. It's here 10 foot radius. So it would take a bunch of them out. But it's still not going to save him. So 5d4 go.

42:37.040 --> 42:42.040
Well, hold on, hold on. Roll luck.

42:47.480 --> 42:48.440
Nat 20.

42:48.760 --> 42:51.720
Holy crap. It pulled a nat 20 on my luck roll.

42:51.800 --> 42:52.520
Nat 20.

42:52.920 --> 42:53.720
That's legit.

42:54.120 --> 42:57.080
Does anybody remember how many beans I said were in that bag?

42:57.800 --> 42:58.600
Seven, I think.

43:00.120 --> 43:05.588
According to this anti radiance magic beans it would be 12 fire damage in a 10.

43:05.632 --> 43:05.830
14.

43:06.470 --> 43:07.030
Yeah.

43:10.550 --> 43:20.630
You rolled a nat 20 on your luck roll me. This is a cool thing too. If we're gonna use it, we're gonna use it.

43:21.910 --> 43:49.360
And I can say too like Emery's doing. Similar to Elliot where she is. She only has cantrips left but she is dumping as much magic as she can down there. It's a little arranged but like she is pushing exhaust. So like there is wild energy magic around her. She's already exploded once. This fight I cannot mechanically like do anything, but I'm stirring up the magic.

43:50.800 --> 43:56.050
Roll D100.

43:56.559 --> 43:59.370
100. Incoming.

44:02.090 --> 44:02.558
60.

44:02.662 --> 44:03.130
60.

44:07.530 --> 44:14.970
Okay, that's the first bean. Roll me a D100.

44:15.610 --> 44:16.210
Oh my God.

44:16.210 --> 44:20.490
You can't see what happened to this bean. It's too small of a thing. Some pink smoke.

44:20.570 --> 44:21.210
76.

44:26.340 --> 44:31.140
A tree grows from the ground.

44:33.780 --> 44:36.900
Where where I threw the bag of beans.

44:36.900 --> 44:45.088
Which was in your general vicinity. So we'll say that it separates some of them. Roll me a D100.

44:45.681 --> 44:48.350
NAT1.

44:50.270 --> 44:56.430
You can't see four more.

44:57.470 --> 45:04.270
Roll me a D182. Weird.

45:05.070 --> 45:19.880
Okay, so so far, in the general vicinity of James, one D4 plus eight bright pink tones crawl forth. Roll a luck James.

45:27.960 --> 45:33.600
That'S cocked between 8 and 2015, a couple of them.

45:33.600 --> 45:41.890
Get touched by the zombies that are coming to try to rip you asunder. Once they're touched, it transforms into a large creature.

45:42.450 --> 45:43.250
Fricking what?

45:43.730 --> 45:45.210
A zombie. Transform.

45:45.210 --> 45:58.290
Oh, the frog. The zombie making contact with the frog turns the frog into a large creature. Okay, Roll me a D4, Jeremy.

46:01.010 --> 46:01.410
3.

46:05.660 --> 46:07.260
Roll me a D10, James.

46:10.860 --> 46:11.260
8.

46:11.820 --> 46:25.020
Eight giant creatures get to create it in your vicinity. And then a tree grows filled with fruit.

46:26.380 --> 46:27.980
Just what you always needed.

46:27.980 --> 46:31.160
And then I need 5D 5, 4 rolled.

46:34.280 --> 46:35.800
What the is going on?

46:37.160 --> 46:50.680
4 and 4. You need a total. Let's see, 8, 19, 11, 15.

46:50.760 --> 46:54.680
Total 15 toad stools sprout from the ground.

46:55.160 --> 46:57.960
These were not helpful me so far.

46:57.960 --> 47:01.440
I will say you have an opportunity to eat one if you want to.

47:01.440 --> 47:04.960
Oh, definitely. Because who doesn't want to eat shrooms before they get killed?

47:05.040 --> 47:08.800
A guaranteed good thing. But you can if you would like to.

47:08.880 --> 47:11.680
Well, I mean, I fucked up enough.

47:12.239 --> 47:15.200
Go out one way or the other when you're doing it.

47:17.280 --> 47:19.440
Roll anything? Any.

47:26.170 --> 47:28.090
I got a four, but a four.

47:28.650 --> 47:34.730
On an even roll, the eater gains five D6 temporary hit points.

47:36.410 --> 47:37.210
For how long?

47:37.450 --> 47:38.089
One hour.

47:38.490 --> 47:43.210
I mean, it won't hurt, but it probably won't hurt.

47:43.530 --> 47:44.890
Give me 5D6.

47:45.450 --> 47:46.490
Do you want average?

47:46.650 --> 47:47.720
You should take average.

47:47.950 --> 47:48.910
Average is 25.

47:50.110 --> 47:52.750
Yeah, do that.

47:53.390 --> 47:57.790
Is it 25? No, it's 16. No, 20. It's 20.

47:57.870 --> 47:58.270
What?

47:58.510 --> 48:02.110
Sorry. I'm so bad at 20. Why am I doing this?

48:03.390 --> 48:04.750
Yeah, average 20.

48:04.910 --> 48:07.494
Average is 20. I'm like 20.

48:07.606 --> 48:08.054
16.

48:08.166 --> 48:09.550
32. Ike.

48:11.870 --> 48:13.640
Roll me a D100. Jerry me.

48:15.160 --> 48:17.480
It's four of seven coming up.

48:17.640 --> 48:21.320
That's only three. It's the four. This will be four. This is four? Yeah.

48:21.800 --> 48:23.160
13. 1 3.

48:27.160 --> 48:27.800
Jesus.

48:31.480 --> 48:32.880
You have to throw a roller.

48:32.880 --> 48:33.320
Huh?

48:33.560 --> 48:39.980
Roll anything, roll anything. I like that one. That's a tool.

48:40.860 --> 48:54.540
A treant sprouts from the ground. There was a 50% chance that the treant is chaotic, evil, and attacks you. Odds were evil, evens were good. You have a friendly treant.

48:54.779 --> 48:55.740
He's got a gun.

48:56.380 --> 48:57.340
Get your feet.

48:59.180 --> 49:00.860
Talk about wrecking chaos.

49:01.020 --> 49:04.140
Get the fucking. Roll a D1 then.

49:07.850 --> 49:11.290
Six. Wow.

49:22.890 --> 49:24.650
Roll a D6.

49:25.210 --> 49:25.770
Got it.

49:27.210 --> 49:28.650
Yeah, that's a three.

49:30.980 --> 49:38.260
Roll a D12. Come back.

49:39.060 --> 49:41.486
You got another D12.

49:41.874 --> 49:43.620
11.

49:46.259 --> 49:52.420
The geyser erupts from the ground, jettisoning berry juice into the.

49:56.110 --> 49:57.710
Does it get you above the Zombies?

49:58.750 --> 49:59.870
Roll a D100.

50:00.990 --> 50:03.070
You're just floating on like 87.

50:05.390 --> 50:05.790
Guys.

50:05.790 --> 50:06.030
How?

50:06.030 --> 50:06.830
Old Faithful.

50:12.110 --> 50:39.810
6. A nest filled with what appear to be chocolate foiled eggs. Here's at your feet. Roll a D4.3. There's a total of six eggs at your feet. They appear to be chocolate foil wrapped eggs.

50:40.450 --> 50:42.210
Cadburys. Hell yeah.

50:44.930 --> 50:46.050
Am I able to eat one?

50:46.210 --> 50:47.010
Do you want to?

50:47.420 --> 50:47.660
Sure.

50:49.580 --> 50:50.220
Okay.

50:51.340 --> 50:53.180
What a random series of events.

50:54.220 --> 50:56.060
Well, it distracted things.

50:56.300 --> 50:57.580
Roll con. Save.

50:57.580 --> 50:58.140
Oh, no.

51:02.220 --> 51:03.580
That's a 17.

51:04.220 --> 51:12.140
Okay. Ouch. DC 20. Constitution. Save. Oh.

51:13.990 --> 51:15.670
Did you use your inspiration already?

51:15.750 --> 51:16.510
No, I didn't.

51:16.510 --> 51:17.270
Please do that.

51:20.790 --> 51:21.830
It's a natural. 20.

51:22.070 --> 51:22.630
Thank you.

51:23.110 --> 51:24.390
22. Fuck.

51:24.630 --> 51:33.910
On a fail, the creature takes 10D6 force damage. Jesus. From internal magical explosion.

51:34.390 --> 51:35.310
Oh, my God.

51:35.310 --> 51:37.310
Chuck an egg. Chuck an egg at the zombies.

51:37.310 --> 51:45.510
On a success, you permanently increase your lowest ability score by one. All right.

51:45.510 --> 51:48.030
Okay. So either my strength or my wisdom go up by one.

51:48.590 --> 51:50.190
You don't get to raise your wisdom.

51:52.910 --> 51:54.510
Up bad enough. Yeah.

51:55.310 --> 51:59.710
So your strength goes up by one. Cool. Please roll me one more D100.

52:03.070 --> 52:04.840
Yeah, I think my wisdom is permanently stuck.

52:04.840 --> 52:05.480
34.

52:06.680 --> 52:07.760
You will never gain.

52:07.760 --> 52:18.120
Fantastic. You didn't roll the same thing twice. That's great. A campfire with blue flames springs forth and burns for 24 hours.

52:23.240 --> 52:24.840
What the was in that?

52:24.840 --> 52:25.480
Goddamn.

52:27.160 --> 52:28.760
I saw a lot of happen.

52:28.760 --> 52:30.690
I don't know what the frick any of that was.

52:32.050 --> 52:34.610
You have a fruit tree nearby?

52:34.690 --> 52:35.410
I have a what?

52:35.410 --> 52:36.050
The fruit tree.

52:36.050 --> 52:36.930
Oh, right, the fruit tree.

52:36.930 --> 52:38.530
Can I have you roll a D10, please?

52:38.610 --> 52:39.010
Me?

52:39.090 --> 52:39.570
Yes.

52:43.330 --> 52:45.130
Did any of this distract the zombies?

52:45.130 --> 52:45.489
8.

52:45.489 --> 52:52.610
The zombies are perplexed. So there are 28 fruit upon this tree.

52:52.610 --> 52:54.930
I don't want to know if I should eat that or not.

52:55.200 --> 52:56.600
Roll me a D8, please.

52:56.600 --> 53:00.080
Clawing your way across the ground, eating random things.

53:02.640 --> 53:06.080
Five temporary hit points helped.

53:06.480 --> 53:07.120
I don't know.

53:11.840 --> 53:17.840
The zombie horde is still like coming at you. You haven't gotten like, get out of jail free card? There is a tree.

53:18.560 --> 53:19.880
Can I climb the tree?

53:19.880 --> 53:20.560
Climb the tree?

53:20.560 --> 53:21.690
I climbed the tree.

53:22.090 --> 53:23.610
In the tree down there.

53:23.610 --> 53:24.050
Fighting.

53:24.050 --> 53:25.770
Yep. The treant's helping.

53:25.770 --> 53:26.210
Yeah.

53:26.210 --> 53:27.410
Tree ant's helping a fair bit.

53:27.410 --> 53:30.970
And then the giant creatures that the toads turned into.

53:30.970 --> 53:37.130
Yep, they're helping a fair bit. You have access to 28 fruit, if you would like to gather them.

53:37.610 --> 53:39.370
I'll gather them, but I will not eat them.

53:39.530 --> 53:40.170
Okay.

53:40.730 --> 53:42.010
Right now is probably not the best time.

53:42.010 --> 53:44.730
You got a bag? We'll say that you can pull fruit in.

53:48.260 --> 53:49.060
That took a turn.

53:49.300 --> 53:50.100
Yeah, it did.

53:51.860 --> 53:53.140
But you didn't die.

53:53.460 --> 53:57.060
The idea of getting that bag of beans in play is fun.

53:59.300 --> 54:03.380
So are you gonna edit the bit about the bit out where we killed James?

54:03.460 --> 54:05.540
No, no, no.

54:05.540 --> 54:07.380
I earned that stupidity.

54:07.460 --> 54:09.620
But you're not dead yet anymore.

54:09.700 --> 54:14.270
We'll say it being bouncing of his mouth. The luckiest he's ever been.

54:15.070 --> 54:19.950
The bean with the NAT20 on the pretty influential.

54:20.190 --> 54:20.670
Yeah.

54:21.230 --> 54:23.910
It's only because Elliot's so good at ranged attacks.

54:23.910 --> 54:28.350
That toadstool grew into your mouth before it could rip you asunder.

54:29.870 --> 54:33.830
And then the treant stomps a couple of the guys that were actively tearing you to sh.

54:33.830 --> 54:36.590
So in that time, Ulnock and Sadie make it back to.

54:37.400 --> 54:39.800
They're done. Broom's on its way to you.

54:39.800 --> 54:41.400
In the love of God, can I get the broom?

54:44.600 --> 54:56.800
And you know what? With the weird amalgamation of random large creatures, you've got a little bit more time before that wall. The zombies have got other priorities temporarily.

54:56.800 --> 54:58.760
So what I'm hearing is mission accomplished.

55:00.040 --> 55:02.520
You do that again and I'm going to leave you.

55:03.000 --> 55:03.560
What the fuck?

55:03.560 --> 55:04.760
This is your own fault.

55:04.920 --> 55:07.160
Wait till I get there before you yell at me, please.

55:08.280 --> 55:08.920
Oh, God, no.

55:08.920 --> 55:13.400
I'm not waiting. I'm standing on top of that freaking building, you fucking moron.

55:13.720 --> 55:15.080
Dumb son of a bitch.

55:15.160 --> 55:18.920
I can't hear you. The spell hit me too. I can't hear any of this.

55:19.240 --> 55:31.640
So I've determined though Mel cannot hear what's been going on. I feel like at some point there's like some of the flashes of random weird lights maybe. And I was like, holy fuck.

55:31.640 --> 55:32.920
The ground is making.

55:33.880 --> 55:38.120
Yes. And then starts running back up the stairs. What the hell?

55:38.200 --> 55:52.920
You just see. You see Emery and Elliot just screaming. And I'm looking over like yelling angrily. I'm also absolutely. That's terrifying. That was terrifying. That was.

55:52.920 --> 55:54.080
How do you think I fucking feel?

55:54.080 --> 55:56.400
I thought you were done. I'm like, well, and I'm over here.

55:56.400 --> 55:57.750
I'm like, I didn't expect backpack.

55:57.750 --> 55:59.390
I had no idea how all the.

55:59.390 --> 56:01.550
Of all the people I know, I was not expecting.

56:01.550 --> 56:04.350
I've got a hammer I can throw in there twice. Technically, that's it.

56:04.350 --> 56:06.790
So did we get everybody to safety?

56:06.790 --> 56:08.350
You guys are all rooftops.

56:10.270 --> 56:17.310
You're lucky if I ever speak to you. If we had. God damn it. Let's go find Jacob. And he is going to stomp off in an absolute rage.

56:17.630 --> 56:19.390
James, there's the brim. Okay.

56:20.430 --> 56:22.850
I love you, but you've ever do that again.

56:23.320 --> 56:24.040
Yeah, noted.

56:24.520 --> 56:30.680
Trust me, don't do that again. If you're in a sacrifice plague, you fucking tell me. So we can change places.

56:30.760 --> 56:39.560
Can he use the medicine kit on himself? Because I'm worried. What happens if he temporary? No, what happens when they wear off is he's just going to heal over dead.

56:39.560 --> 56:39.960
He might.

56:41.400 --> 56:43.160
I'm held together with fungus.

56:43.560 --> 56:45.680
Stabilize him when that comes through.

56:45.680 --> 56:46.000
Okay.

56:46.000 --> 56:50.860
I'm going to start patching myself up. Well, you're now at the.

56:51.260 --> 56:51.820
Sorry.

56:52.460 --> 56:54.060
Do you want to stop for a second, get a drink?

56:56.060 --> 56:57.020
He does have that voice.

56:57.020 --> 57:02.300
He does. You're now at the point where you can take time to heal yourself.

57:02.540 --> 57:02.940
Yeah.

57:02.940 --> 57:08.900
Okay. Or you can start making progress towards the kid that you know two magic people are hunting down.

57:08.900 --> 57:09.860
I'm gonna do that one.

57:09.860 --> 57:15.220
I'll use my movement for the running and the action for the patching. No, one or the other.

57:15.220 --> 57:18.070
She's dashing. She's the fastest son of a gun alive.

57:18.070 --> 57:19.310
Yeah, she's way faster.

57:20.670 --> 57:21.950
We gotta push hard.

57:21.950 --> 57:26.030
So this is a choice. If you stop to heal yourself, the party's separating apart.

57:26.190 --> 57:26.830
Okay.

57:30.270 --> 57:31.150
You're not dying.

57:31.150 --> 57:34.430
I can't even pretend to be upset. You got the world's luckiest get out of trouble.

57:34.510 --> 57:37.790
Yeah, I'm just worried about temporary.

57:38.030 --> 57:38.870
You've got an hour.

57:38.870 --> 57:39.910
Oh, yeah, it's an hour.

57:39.910 --> 57:40.470
It's a long time.

57:40.470 --> 57:42.680
Okay, well, we're going to full speed.

57:43.000 --> 57:44.400
Say no. You have to make some choice.

57:44.400 --> 57:46.160
I've got fucking mushrooms going up my ass.

57:46.160 --> 57:51.400
Plus side is that Mel doesn't know this town very well and doesn't know how to get to the church from here.

57:51.960 --> 57:54.840
And she can't see or hear.

57:55.240 --> 57:57.720
You were kind of running blindly and deftly down the street.

57:57.880 --> 57:59.080
I totally am.

57:59.880 --> 58:01.560
That was the other reason why you turned around.

58:01.720 --> 58:03.160
Like you can hear if he calls back.

58:03.960 --> 58:04.840
Yes, probably.

58:04.840 --> 58:07.080
Which is the only reason why we know where you are.

58:07.480 --> 58:18.730
At some point I still stop at a cross street going, I have never been here before. And that's what everybody else catches me. And Emery taps me on the shoulder and is like, yeah, other way.

58:18.810 --> 58:23.210
So we're slowed slightly by the fact that I'm leading roll.

58:26.170 --> 58:27.090
I don't like that.

58:27.090 --> 58:31.690
I don't like that either. 12.

58:32.330 --> 58:35.380
Okay, you're going in more or less the right direction.

58:35.380 --> 58:42.420
Okay. Oh, from the hospital, there's like two directions you can go. And they both basically head towards the middle of town.

58:43.700 --> 58:55.060
So thankfully you're making progress. What are the Rest of you doing, let's run this like a skill challenge. You know, toss out some things to help you get there quicky.

58:55.060 --> 59:01.710
I'm just following because I have no idea. I don't think I. Oh, wait, you would. I would, yeah.

59:04.670 --> 59:24.910
So I'm going to just. I don't know what the best skill is for this, but I know this town. I grew up here. The high school is right next to the hospital. Like I've been. I mean, this. It's not a hard town to navigate, but if you've never, never been there before, you don't know where you're going.

59:25.240 --> 59:26.120
Right, Right.

59:26.360 --> 59:34.920
But so I'm just guiding the others, basically. I've got my light and we are.

59:36.120 --> 59:44.840
Running, but I could see history or survival. That makes sense. Finding the most efficient route through town.

59:45.320 --> 01:00:04.490
Yeah, my history is better. So I'm gonna roll. I rolled badly. I rolled a nine. It's dark and I'm fucking beat to shit and absolutely stressed to hell I'm getting us there. But it's not the most efficient route.

01:00:04.490 --> 01:00:05.170
Absolutely.

01:00:05.890 --> 01:00:16.460
Elliot is gonna just be trying to keep up. He's old, but his athletics are pretty good. So he's just doing his best to run.

01:00:19.820 --> 01:00:20.220
11.

01:00:20.860 --> 01:00:24.540
Not great. But I bet he's not. He's like 60.

01:00:24.940 --> 01:00:46.950
You're not. You're definitely not like impressing anybody, but you're not slow and slowing the party down. So I apologize. This is just how my voice is going to sound, apparently for the rest of this episode. So, James, recap the last, like three minutes of your life. Jump through a hole.

01:00:47.190 --> 01:00:47.750
Yep.

01:00:48.550 --> 01:00:49.830
Into a zombie pit.

01:00:50.070 --> 01:00:50.590
Yep.

01:00:50.590 --> 01:00:56.870
You made the incredibly dumb but heroic decision to lead the zombies away from Sadie's failed stealth.

01:00:57.190 --> 01:00:57.750
Yep.

01:00:58.870 --> 01:01:02.470
Cuz that horde was coming towards Satan. You distracted it away from her.

01:01:02.870 --> 01:01:03.430
Yep.

01:01:04.950 --> 01:01:06.150
It fucked you up.

01:01:06.870 --> 01:01:13.320
Yes. And then from your perspective, all hell happened. Everything happened all at once.

01:01:13.320 --> 01:01:15.360
You woke up with a toadstool in your mouth.

01:01:15.440 --> 01:01:15.920
Yes.

01:01:16.880 --> 01:01:17.360
Yep.

01:01:17.760 --> 01:01:20.480
One minute I'm being eaten, the next thing I know I'm made of fungus.

01:01:21.440 --> 01:01:22.800
A giant tree man.

01:01:22.960 --> 01:01:27.120
Yeah, There's a giant tree man fighting valiantly. There's a bunch of gigantic toads.

01:01:27.200 --> 01:01:27.840
Frogs.

01:01:27.840 --> 01:01:28.560
There was some.

01:01:29.360 --> 01:01:30.720
What was the first thing I ate?

01:01:31.360 --> 01:01:32.200
The toadstool.

01:01:32.200 --> 01:01:35.960
Oh, okay. It was the toadstool. Yeah. Like a bunch of Cadbury eggs kind of just appeared.

01:01:35.960 --> 01:01:38.720
And you ate one on a funky and it almost killed you.

01:01:38.800 --> 01:01:42.320
But then it helped somehow. You felt slightly better with a bunch.

01:01:42.320 --> 01:01:44.640
Of fruit that I've collected. That's gonna be fun later.

01:01:46.640 --> 01:01:50.800
And then you got on the Broom and flew to the building where.

01:01:51.120 --> 01:01:54.880
Where you got screamed at. Elliot is very, very pissed.

01:01:56.960 --> 01:02:11.480
Yes. And the rest of the party basically said hey dumbass. Turned on their heel and bounced trying to get catch back up with Mel. Yep. I'm going to say that you guys have been able to successfully make it to the church.

01:02:12.520 --> 01:02:13.000
Cool.

01:02:13.160 --> 01:02:15.480
Running through a small town is not interesting.

01:02:15.720 --> 01:02:26.640
No. And while the zombie horde it is night time. There's nothing happening yet. At our pace it probably takes us almost like 10 minutes or so to get to the other side of town where the church is.

01:02:26.640 --> 01:02:27.160
I hope so.

01:02:27.160 --> 01:02:27.560
Okay.

01:02:28.530 --> 01:02:39.010
If we pass anybody pass just if there's anybody out, we're going to give them a warning that the zombies are breaking out.

01:02:39.010 --> 01:02:39.650
Oh yeah.

01:02:40.770 --> 01:02:42.250
Everybody in town needs to go.

01:02:42.250 --> 01:02:45.090
Are there like, are there patrols near the wall at night?

01:02:45.890 --> 01:02:50.210
Because I thought they were doing sentry at the wall but I could be wrong. I may have missed.

01:02:50.210 --> 01:02:55.330
They did mention that they do patrols. Go ahead and roll. Let's roll another. Let's keep the luck rolls going.

01:02:55.490 --> 01:02:56.130
Oh God.

01:02:56.130 --> 01:03:00.930
Everybody, don't have me do it. I used up all my luck for the next five years.

01:03:01.330 --> 01:03:04.770
Let's have Elliot. He asked the question. Elliot can roll the luck.

01:03:04.770 --> 01:03:05.890
All right, here we go.

01:03:07.490 --> 01:03:09.330
Nope, we don't come across any.

01:03:10.050 --> 01:03:13.490
I rolled a 15. Is it possible I literally run into somebody?

01:03:13.650 --> 01:03:18.770
We'll say that. Not too far from the church we finally come across.

01:03:19.010 --> 01:03:21.850
Cuz they've got a search party out now for, for Sadie.

01:03:22.090 --> 01:03:22.570
Yes.

01:03:22.890 --> 01:03:34.810
Mel runs it like literally runs into them and stops and then says zombies getting out wall run really fast. And then just keeps going like. Does not give them time to ask questions. Does not give them like Nothing.

01:03:34.810 --> 01:03:37.290
And about 90ft later the rest of the group shows up.

01:03:37.290 --> 01:03:37.770
Yep.

01:03:38.570 --> 01:03:39.530
She's so fast.

01:03:39.930 --> 01:03:41.210
When did she get so fast?

01:03:41.690 --> 01:03:45.850
Somehow that person rolled well enough. They understand the message from what you just yelled at them.

01:03:45.930 --> 01:03:46.490
Perfect.

01:03:46.620 --> 01:03:47.340
They must have kids.

01:03:48.460 --> 01:04:05.300
They can see Sadie coming. So they regroup from a hunt search party to they zone in on the, on the wall. So you see, we'll say yeah, they.

01:04:05.300 --> 01:04:07.420
Take off the other direction. Yeah.

01:04:07.660 --> 01:04:20.870
Towards the wall. You get to the church, doors are left open because people have been coming in and out. You do see Jacob is with your folks.

01:04:21.590 --> 01:04:25.910
Okay, Mel, you get there first.

01:04:25.990 --> 01:04:27.110
Mel gets there first.

01:04:27.110 --> 01:04:27.910
I give you big.

01:04:28.710 --> 01:04:33.990
You're okay. Have you, have you seen any, any, any, any bad guys yet?

01:04:34.070 --> 01:04:36.070
You have 16 minutes left of deafness.

01:04:36.710 --> 01:04:58.920
And Jacob, start talking. Oh shit, I forgot I can't hear. Do you know sign language? Why am I asking? I Don't know sign language. That's a stupid question. Mal babbles at Jacob until somebody you can't hear shows up.

01:04:58.920 --> 01:05:04.240
I like to think that all of that's happening very quickly. Like, do you know a sign language? I don't know why I'm asking you. I don't know sign language.

01:05:04.240 --> 01:05:12.350
Well, no. And I feel confident that Emery's the person who shows up after. So then we're like, oh, good. Every. Oh, wait, that is so not helpful right now.

01:05:12.990 --> 01:05:16.070
I lean over and pant for a minute because I am not the ass.

01:05:16.070 --> 01:05:20.030
And Jacob's talking, and I'm like, oh, and I'm deaf. I hope it wears off.

01:05:22.750 --> 01:05:24.350
Probably going to come in behind him.

01:05:25.310 --> 01:05:27.870
Go ahead and roll a round of perception checks.

01:05:30.110 --> 01:05:34.110
Oh. NAT 20 again. 15, 22.

01:05:34.360 --> 01:05:37.010
Passive 9, 17.

01:05:37.230 --> 01:05:42.040
NAT 20. Sees some people that you don't recognize from the church service.

01:05:43.880 --> 01:05:46.280
In the church outside hanging up.

01:05:47.000 --> 01:05:53.320
Kind of looking like they're trying to talk with each other. They look like they're trying to blend in.

01:05:53.480 --> 01:06:11.970
Okay, Elliot's gonna grab Jacob and he's gonna whisper to him. He says, jacob, some of the cultists are here. Get behind me. Have you seen Jeff? I couldn't remember.

01:06:11.970 --> 01:06:13.250
Jeff was doing church.

01:06:13.330 --> 01:06:15.490
He was helping Emery's dad with water.

01:06:15.970 --> 01:06:25.170
Yeah, we'll see. Yeah, Jeff went around back helping, but it's wholesome stuff.

01:06:25.260 --> 01:06:26.780
Jacob, he's here at the church, though.

01:06:26.780 --> 01:06:27.260
Yeah.

01:06:27.500 --> 01:06:28.860
All right, we're on the backside.

01:06:29.020 --> 01:06:37.660
Stay with me. I'm gonna tap ulnock especially, and I'm gonna nod towards the two. Like, I don't recognize those guys. They look kind of suspicious.

01:06:37.980 --> 01:06:40.220
Okay. All right.

01:06:42.220 --> 01:06:43.820
Should we leave them be for now?

01:06:47.980 --> 01:06:49.500
Can we see Pastor Eric?

01:06:51.350 --> 01:06:57.590
No, he is helping. Or Jeff was helping him around back.

01:06:57.670 --> 01:07:01.350
Of course. I guess at the moment we gotta choose our battles. The zombies are about to come through.

01:07:01.670 --> 01:07:02.150
Yeah.

01:07:02.310 --> 01:07:07.270
And we got three dudes that are trying to take a kid. Right. Three. You said three.

01:07:07.750 --> 01:07:08.150
Two.

01:07:08.150 --> 01:07:08.550
Two.

01:07:08.710 --> 01:07:10.470
Okay, sorry, I heard three.

01:07:12.630 --> 01:07:15.950
I'm not exactly the most audible right now. Yeah, yeah.

01:07:15.950 --> 01:07:22.430
So, like, says, Elliot's gonna rain down. He's gonna give Jacob a hug. Like, are you doing all right, bud?

01:07:23.550 --> 01:07:24.110
Yeah.

01:07:24.270 --> 01:07:32.190
He says, okay, stick really close. There's some stuff going on. Let's go see if we can find Jeff and Pastor Eric.

01:07:32.910 --> 01:07:35.270
All right. Yeah. They want to round out back, so we should be able to find out.

01:07:35.270 --> 01:07:45.050
Okay. So I'm gonna grab Mel and Emery and say, come with them. And I'm gonna basically, thank you. Grab their shoulder, shake. Like, come this way.

01:07:45.370 --> 01:07:45.810
Okay.

01:07:45.810 --> 01:07:53.290
Like, Emory's parents have probably been, like, all over her, like, covered in blood, and I look terrible.

01:07:53.290 --> 01:07:57.130
I don't know if James is paying attention, but I'm gonna tap his dumb ass and be like, follow me.

01:07:58.410 --> 01:08:04.730
Everybody's like, I gotta deal with you guys. Stay inside. This wall's coming down by the hospital.

01:08:04.970 --> 01:08:05.570
Oh, that's right.

01:08:05.570 --> 01:08:17.440
We all know you guys need to forgotten start. I can't hear you. I cannot hear you right now. No, no, I can't just f. Figure. So do something. Figure it out. I got to go. I got to we dealing stuff.

01:08:17.440 --> 01:08:19.840
Do something. Figure it out. I got to go.

01:08:20.160 --> 01:08:23.760
Place and I. And I brush her arm off and follow Elliot.

01:08:24.000 --> 01:08:29.440
So we're going to go outside and try to find Jeff, but also Pastor Eric.

01:08:29.760 --> 01:08:35.210
All right, so you guys go around the back. We'll say there's like a. A lane, two, tool shed.

01:08:36.970 --> 01:08:38.410
And. Okay.

01:08:38.410 --> 01:08:52.730
And you see, first thing you see is Pastor Eric slaying on the ground. Appears to be unconscious. And you see two robed figures holding Jeff to the wall.

01:08:52.970 --> 01:08:57.450
Oh, that's enough for me. I'm gonna draw on fire. I'm gonna draw on fire.

01:08:57.530 --> 01:08:58.170
Fuck him up.

01:08:58.820 --> 01:09:02.100
We're gonna go ahead and roll initiative, and that'll be the end of this episode.

01:09:02.100 --> 01:09:02.660
Okay.

01:09:03.060 --> 01:09:04.660
I'm gonna tie it on to the fight.

01:09:04.820 --> 01:09:05.380
Okay.

01:09:06.740 --> 01:09:07.980
Oh, sorry.

01:09:07.980 --> 01:09:09.380
God damn it.

01:09:09.940 --> 01:09:11.300
I don't know what the hell's happening.

01:09:11.940 --> 01:09:13.060
Clearly not functional.

01:09:13.060 --> 01:09:17.060
Did you want to get our initiative down now before end of episode?

01:09:17.140 --> 01:09:19.820
Yeah. Metal. What'd you roll?

01:09:19.820 --> 01:09:21.460
I would like to re roll, if I may.

01:09:21.540 --> 01:09:21.940
7.

01:09:22.020 --> 01:09:23.620
I have one inspiration left.

01:09:26.669 --> 01:09:32.909
Will our inspiration fucking work Another episode. Okay.

01:09:34.829 --> 01:09:38.989
To be fair, I guess I should have raged before we decided to go attack anything.

01:09:39.069 --> 01:09:39.549
All right.

01:09:39.789 --> 01:09:40.989
You didn't know that we were coming off.

01:09:42.269 --> 01:09:45.629
I only got 22. He rolled poorly.

01:09:48.189 --> 01:09:48.669
Yeah.

01:09:49.229 --> 01:09:51.069
So, okay, does inspiration work?

01:09:51.069 --> 01:09:52.829
Like advantage or. No, you.

01:09:52.829 --> 01:09:54.469
If you use inspiration, you take.

01:09:54.469 --> 01:10:01.189
You take the whatever I rolled. So that was a five plus two. That'd be seven a. James can't.

01:10:01.189 --> 01:10:08.789
James got a 23. Sorry. No 22. Sorry. My dex is also three.

01:10:08.869 --> 01:10:09.589
Roll off.

01:10:09.749 --> 01:10:10.469
Roll off.

01:10:10.469 --> 01:10:13.829
Dude, I am at way too 19 again.

01:10:14.069 --> 01:10:15.589
You beat Elliot.

01:10:16.629 --> 01:10:18.869
Wow, Elliot really did roll bad.

01:10:19.410 --> 01:10:22.770
You're gonna be written down as a 23 when we put it in the system.

01:10:24.370 --> 01:10:25.770
Well, two 19s in a row.

01:10:25.770 --> 01:10:29.650
30.23020Best I've rolled on initiative in a while.

01:10:30.450 --> 01:10:34.370
I used every single multi shaped dice that I have.

01:10:36.370 --> 01:10:43.810
So what didn't happen? You could have summoned an animate, immobile stone statue in your likeness.

01:10:45.340 --> 01:10:46.620
The giant statue Of Jesus.

01:10:47.500 --> 01:10:49.340
That would be his mausoleum.

01:10:49.340 --> 01:10:51.220
Here lies the biggest dumbass of all.

01:10:51.220 --> 01:10:53.980
That was the dumbest shit of you.

01:10:54.780 --> 01:10:57.820
Being torn to shreds. But dying on the ground.

01:10:58.460 --> 01:11:10.860
Verbal threats against you if you leave it and others come near. It describes you as the most heinous of villains Newcomers to find and attack vacuum.

01:11:12.300 --> 01:11:14.420
If you see the same plan of.

01:11:14.420 --> 01:11:16.780
Existence, it knows where you are.

01:11:16.860 --> 01:11:17.820
Jesus Christ.

01:11:17.980 --> 01:11:18.620
Wow.

01:11:19.500 --> 01:11:21.100
Is a bizarre bag.

01:11:21.420 --> 01:11:31.500
You could have had one D6 plus six shriekers, which is a monster sprout. You could have summoned a hungry bullet.

01:11:32.220 --> 01:11:33.180
Oh my God.

01:11:33.180 --> 01:11:33.700
What's that?

01:11:33.700 --> 01:11:37.420
Oh, that would. It's a land shark. Giant land shark.

01:11:37.420 --> 01:11:39.900
Yeah, giant land shark. Kind of a rhinoceros.

01:11:39.900 --> 01:11:43.500
We got eaten by one before she got eaten by one before.

01:11:43.500 --> 01:11:44.500
I made an ocarina out of it.

01:11:44.500 --> 01:11:48.020
I had a couple different violette incidences as.

01:11:48.260 --> 01:11:50.540
As a listener I was going through.

01:11:50.540 --> 01:12:06.100
All of the feels. A pyramid with a 60 foot square base bursts upward. Yeah. Inside is a sarcophagus containing a mummy lord. The pyramid.

01:12:07.700 --> 01:12:10.180
We don't have enough hit points right now at all.

01:12:10.340 --> 01:12:25.700
The pyramid is treated as the mummy lord's lair and its sarcophagus contains treasure of the DMs choice. Or if you roll a 100 a giant beanstalk sprouts growing to a height of the DMs choice.

01:12:25.860 --> 01:12:27.060
That one could have saved you.

01:12:27.060 --> 01:12:36.350
The top leaves where the DM chooses such as to a great view, a cloud, giant's castle or a different plane of existence.

01:12:37.870 --> 01:12:44.390
James almost got sent to a different plane of existence. There's a good chance that when he has that talking to with Elliot, he's gonna wish he was in a different plane of existence.

01:12:44.390 --> 01:12:45.790
Oh, Elliot's gonna review a new one.

01:12:45.790 --> 01:12:51.230
Once this is all and and me from Downs's perspective, totally deserved.

01:12:54.110 --> 01:12:59.680
I know that I'm the one here going, James, that was really stupid. Why did you do this?

01:13:02.480 --> 01:13:03.600
Trying to help Sadie.

01:13:18.720 --> 01:14:52.680
Theater of the Mind presents Retribution is Amanda Arsten as Mel Kelly Jeremy Arfston as Elliot Brandybane Michael Burnell as Ulnock Vargar Johnson Michael Downes as James o' Brien Casey Weingarten as Emory Lee and myself, Mike Schock as your dungeon master. Thank you for hanging with us on this allergy riddled episode. Springtime in Grand Junction is no joke. We release episodes once per fortnight. So our next episode will drop on June 22. If you want to follow us, our social media and website can be found in our link tree which can be found in the podcast description. Also in the podcast description you can Find a link to Pinecast, as well as our referral code to get you 40% off your first four months of a paid membership, as well as our referral link to Epidemic Sound, which gets you a one week trial period to their excellent platform. The music this week was sourced from Epidemic Sounds, who we are not sponsored by under the Creative Commons license. The songs used in order who's at the Window by Lennon Hutton, Funeral Pyre by John Allgar, Mystical Tension by Dream Cave and Tension by Blue Saga. The Theatre of the Mind theme ad break and outro were written by Mike Schock. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidences either are products of our collective imagination or. Or are used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual events, places or people, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

01:15:05.240 --> 01:15:05.600
Yes.

01:15:05.600 --> 01:15:06.200
You're still alive.

01:15:06.200 --> 01:15:06.480
James.

01:15:06.480 --> 01:15:08.550
That was close, I thought.

01:15:08.550 --> 01:15:09.350
Jesus Christ.

01:15:09.590 --> 01:15:10.710
That was welcome.

01:15:11.270 --> 01:15:11.990
Thank you.

01:15:12.150 --> 01:15:18.310
Jesus Christ. James is never gonna do that. I, as a player, is never gonna do something that stupid ever again.

01:15:19.190 --> 01:15:23.070
Yeah. Next time you try to roll for wisdom, the answer is no. You don't do things.

01:15:23.070 --> 01:15:31.990
No. Yeah. Hey, remember when I said at some point that my mantra is generally, it's only a stupid plan if it doesn't work? That was a stupid plan.

01:15:32.230 --> 01:15:33.030
That didn't work.

01:15:33.380 --> 01:15:36.500
Yeah, that didn't work. It never got very well for you. That did not work.

01:15:37.140 --> 01:15:43.340
You had a series of the luckiest to ever happen in DND history. Maybe that's how you're alive.

01:15:43.340 --> 01:15:48.380
Rolling to make sure that toadstool healed you. Because I'm assuming one of the other options was death.

01:15:48.380 --> 01:15:48.700
Yeah.

01:15:48.700 --> 01:15:50.100
Yeah. It was that much poison.

01:15:50.740 --> 01:15:52.500
And then serious poison too.

01:15:52.500 --> 01:15:52.820
Yeah.

01:15:52.820 --> 01:15:54.340
To have the end be good.

01:15:54.580 --> 01:15:56.740
Yeah. That was a straight 50. 50.

01:15:57.700 --> 01:15:59.500
Luckily, you had inspiration for the Cadbury.

01:15:59.500 --> 01:16:00.180
Egg and you're dead.

01:16:00.180 --> 01:16:00.500
Anyway.

01:16:00.500 --> 01:16:01.770
Yeah, love.

01:16:02.330 --> 01:16:02.970
Thank you.

01:16:03.930 --> 01:16:10.010
Lot important to note, one of those options is that a pyramid sprouts at your feet and someone's a mummy. Lord.

01:16:12.330 --> 01:16:21.690
That would have been bad. Jesus. Is that. Is that. What is that? Like the Magic Bean table? It has a specific table for that.