In other words, there may be but one event, but as many stories as there are people to tell them. Hello and welcome to are we there yet? In exploration and education and anime. I'm your anime idiot, patrick dugan.
I'm an anime expert, dana hollander.
And I'm brenda mccullough, your anime, state certified Alchemist al capone.
There's so much going on here. I need you to unpack this for me.
This shows an hour long. I don't have nearly enough time.
You said State certified alchemist don't get people's hopes up. We're not watching Full Metal, alchemist God.
I wish we were. But yet, despite all my weird Cold opens, this might be the most relevant one to the show we're watching today, as weird as it is.
But yeah, we're watching bakano today. This was a recommendation from conan J on Twitter. Thank you. But yeah, I, of course, have no idea what this is.
Makes sense.
The trailer I saw told me it was spooky Train anime. So that's where I'm at.
I'm into that.
Sure. Yeah.
When I told Paul we were watching this and I said you described it as a spooky Train anime, he was like, I thought it was about, like, hot vampires or something. And I was like, either way, I'm down.
Oh, no.
Yes. But no. But also yes. If it's not clear, I have watched Pocket. Thank you, conan Jay.
Brandon, thank you.
More than anything for dugan pump the Break for picking this one and me not having to take all the heat for when we watch it.
Can I switch it now? No, we do too late.
We're doing the opening. We're locked in there. Oh, boy.
Well, dana, do you know anything about this besides spooky vampires?
I know two things about it, and one is that it's? Is it the same writers as ju ra?
Yeah, it's the same. Yeah, because both of these fuck that's.
That when you told us, I was like, does he know?
Does he know?
In our messaging? I didn't want to say anything. I was like, no, we'll keep this for the episode. We'll keep this.
Oh, I'm sorry. My mom's calling. No, I'm in the hospital. I can't do that.
I have the illness.
Broke my toe.
If I just broke my arm on air to get out of watching this.
Sorry, guys, I got to go.
So I know that. And then I think it's about gangsters or something.
Yeah, both Du Bravira and Bakkeno were both originally light novels. So they weren't manga, they're just small novels. But then occasionally had pictures thrown throughout. So yeah, it's dense with story because you don't have to worry about the pictures as much or any of the word placement of the text box and stuff. It's just a book. And there's like, going to go on a limb here. I looked it up a little earlier. I think it's like 22 light novels for bakano.
Oh, my God.
Yeah. And I actually had to look up I'll put it in our chat. I had to look up where the light novels and the anime sync up. Like, if it's just one to one, like, here's the first novel and here's the second one matching it. No.
There'S too much text. There's too much text explaining just the timeline.
Most of the anime takes place in, like, the fourth novel, but then a good chunk of the first two novels. But then the fifth one is like, just sprinkled in lightly. And I'm just like, oh, no.
Wow.
So it's going to be a fun one today, folks.
I fucked up so bad.
I'm so happy. When I saw it on the list, I was like, oh, boy. Oh, boy.
It's okay. We'll get you together.
You didn't even respond when I was like, hey, here's what we're going to watch for the next one. And I took that as like, okay, I know nothing about it. I didn't know you were plotting on the other side of the screen laughing at me.
Well, I responded with a laughing gift of just, like, a guy getting put into a cop car laughing. And I was like, this is how I feel right now. Oh, boy. Let's get into this. We'll need the full hour. Oh, no.
All right. Pray for me. listener. I did fuck up. listener I did.
Can confirm 100% fucked up. Oh, God.
Big regret.
I will say ryuko narita, the author and creator of this, won a gold prize in the 9th Dungeeki Note novel prize for bakano. So this is an award winning story.
At least the story is. Maybe not the verse we're seeing, maybe.
Not the anime, but the story truly.
Where to begin, because even the show doesn't know where to begin. Yeah, my recap of episode one will be fairly quick because it's truly them going, oh, fuck. Which book to start with? Oh, no. Should we start here? Oh, no, we can't. The show starts by saying, oh, there's so much fucking info. I don't even know where we can cohesively jump in.
It's like a clip episode for a show that you know nothing about.
Yeah, exactly.
Yes. It's like, hey, this will be important in 18 episodes, but let's drop it in episode one.
But yeah, I'll say this at the top. Pretty much every time there's a scene change between characters, that might as well be an entirely different year. So it jumps around between the years of, like, 1930, 1930, 119, 32, 33, and then, like, 1711. And like, every time it changes characters, it it almost is guaranteed to be like, a different year or period of time. So it's hard to follow.
Sick.
Yeah. Okay, let's do it.
Let's do it again.
We start with a girl. She's going through a bunch of books in a library. She has a bunch of stuff all splayed out on a table. And then a mean old man comes in and yells at her, I fucking.
Hate this monocle guy. Like, this dude's a piece of shit.
Yes, this is Vice President of Daily Days, gustave St. germain. And he's an asshole.
Definitely a real name.
I'm the old timey knockoff of J. jonah jameson.
Basically.
But yeah. So this girl is trying to piece together some string of unrelated events that all are linked somehow.
She's the audience.
That's about as coherent as they explain it in the show. So that's how coherently I'm explaining it to you.
That's fair.
But, yeah, apparently they're reporters. He's working for a newspaper. I guess it's never actually established, but based on the Daily Days, I assume that's a newspaper.
Yeah.
So she's his assistant and she's like, hey, there's all these strings of events. How can we tell this story?
Not well.
Yeah, truly, they don't know where to start. And it shows because the whole episode is them bouncing, giving just enough of a scene of one storyline. And I'm like, yes, this is the beginning. something's going to happen. And then they go, actually, no, we have to start here.
I'm like, fuck it.
I cross out my notes and get so many scribbles on here. But truly, they are like, oh, we'll start at the very beginning. She at first is like, hey, so I want to start in the 1930s because that's where it seems to factor in for us. And he's like, actually, let's start at the beginning. 1711 a boat cross to last years earlier.
But we'll say right now the 1711 storyline doesn't tie into the first three episodes. We get nothing with that. So we can just stop there with it right away.
Yeah, I truly just cross that out. But like, just that jump. Like in Parks and rec, there's truly a joke where they're like, okay, let's tell the story of me and ben's. Love story. So our great great great grandparents came across to America. It's like, oh, fuck god, no. They're trying to do the same thing for real. So we get introduced to a bunch of storylines, but mostly we're focused on gangsters in the 1930s in Chicago. There's also some train stuff we'll get to, but fuck it. For now, we're dealing with gangsters. Like, fuck, this whole first episode is mostly about gangsters. And then in the next two episodes, it's all trained stuff, maybe. Cool. Great.
Glad buckle in.
Now my Al capone opening makes sense.
But yeah. So there's some magical gangsters, I guess, that have regenerative health stuff. We see, like, a homeless man attacks one guy, pharo prochanaso. Or who cares? Phero. A homeless guy attacks him, cuts off his fingers, but they reattach.
Whoa.
You'll notice in anime you can show a lot more gore and violence and vitriol if it grows back right away.
Because it's a fun little way to go. Yeah, it doesn't matter. It's gross. But nah, fuck it. We see some, like, rival crime families going, hey, let's attack the other. No, we're the other crime family. We got to attack the other.
Blah, blah, blah.
It all boils down to there's some magical gangsters, one's pharaoh, one's Dallas genoa. And yeah, that's about as cohesive as I can get. We see they get shot up in, like a drive by shooting, but they go, just kidding. Ha ha. You didn't actually kill us.
All right, step in real quick here. It's luck. generat and Dallas Generate is a different character just because that plays into episode three with my stuff. So I was just like, come on.
Sorry again.
I'm sorry. The Italian looking white man looks like the other Italian looking white man.
They all look very let me tell.
You what the funniest part is. I didn't even know there was a character named Alex.
He truly doesn't matter.
But he's, like, crucial to the plot, which is hilarious. He's part of it too.
But yeah, I give up. I'm just going to round it up. Basically, some, like, gang members are traveling by train from New York to Chicago on a famous train called the Flying Pussy Foot.
The flying pussy foot. That's the best part of this show. And the way they say it in the dub, like, they really say, like, pussy Foot?
Yes. They know how ridiculous it is. And they're leaning into it. They're like, yeah, let me get all that money's worth.
Let me chew on that word for a minute.
We don't get to say it often. Knows you can't talk about feet and dubs.
Yeah, exactly. But yeah, gang members traveling on this famous train, it's going to go wrong.
Cool.
Okay. That's it. That's all I got for you.
There's just a bunch of characters that are introduced and nothing really happens in this episode.
Yeah, they quote, unquote, foreshadow things by just tarantino showing us the ending and being like, I guess this is going to be a crazy tale on how we get here.
Aren't you excited?
So imagine it's like memento, but then it's like six other mementos all mixed in. With memento, it's just the memento. gulag. gulag. Sorry. Yeah, that's very different. What was going to say that's a.
Film I had to watch in film school. But yeah, that's episode one because I don't fucking know.
I was going to chime in. But yeah, looking at my notes, that's about it. Even someone who likes this show, that's about it.
Great. Good.
We'll say that opening, though, that's some slappy jazz. Some good jazz.
Jazz. The music in the show is good. Okay, so in episode two, we're at a train station. There's an old man talking about the train, the Flying pussyfoot. And he's like, talking about how cool it is. Train rocks.
I fucking love this train.
This train is so cool. And then the woman he's with is like, we got to get out of here. This train is cursed. And he's like, what are you talking about? And she's like, A lot of people will die. Some will live because of their good fortune, and others that will survive are not human. bum, bum, bum.
Oh, boy.
I like the idea of it. I like the idea of the supernatural things. It's really too bad that you probably get to see a lot of it in these episodes.
Like, this would be a fun little thing of foreshadowing if we didn't have an episode beforehand, being like, they're all dead. Everyone on this train is dead except for two people.
Yeah. I mean, we see pharaoh's fingers regenerate, so that's kind of a tease at all of this stuff. There was two inspectors in the last episode talking about like, all the bodies were dead, but there were survivors. And they're like, the immortals. And it's just like but that's so far removed from every part of the story. It's like, how do you expect anyone to piece that together?
Wow.
Yeah, you can't show us immortals, and then in the next episode be like, I think something strange might happen. It's like yeah, we know.
You told us. It's like they they wanted to do a mystery but told you the answer in the first episode but still create a mystery by just cup gaming you by just swirling the story around in so many different areas that you just are lost and confused. And is that a mystery or is that just really compartmentalized storytelling?
Okay, so now we're in California with these characters, Isaac and miria, and they are like a duo of con artists.
Yeah, bonnie and clyde. If they were just real dumb, real stupid.
These characters are kind of fun.
They're very much just extreme luck in the right place at the right time. But they're just fucking idiots. I love them, though. They're great.
So they're looking for gold, and Isaac is going on about being the first people to steal from the earth that's getting gold. And then five months go by and miria is like, hey, why are we digging for gold when other people are like, panning in rivers? And Isaac is like, we got kicked out.
We got caught.
Yeah.
And she just like, listens to whatever he says.
Yeah, isaac's got the Profano where it's like, this is a clever con man rusing this woman into following his plan. No, isaac's a fucking idiot too.
He is also an idiot.
He's just very complex talks.
He's just loud.
Yeah.
And then there's four more months and they're still digging, and they get a letter from a girl that they know named ennis. And she's very cryptic, and she's just like, we miss you. Wish you could come visit the people created before me. blah, blah, blah.
Who knows?
It's just, like, never addressed in this show.
Oh, good.
I'll just tell you now. She's a homunculus. She's an artificial human. So when she's talking about the people created before her. She's literally talking about people created before, but I'm guessing it comes up in the novels because it doesn't in the show.
What one of the seven deadly sins does she represent? That's another full metal alchemist leash.
We could be watching that.
Oh, my God. So she wants them to come visit, and she's like, I see you guys as siblings. I missed you guys. And then miria gets sad because she's like, does that mean that ennis's siblings died? And then Isaac is like, I don't know, be smooth. But maybe she wants a little brother or something. We should steal something nice for her because she's so sad. So they decide that they're going to do a train heist and they're going to steal from the mafia.
Just so confident.
Great.
Easy peasy.
No problem. Everyone does it.
I said easy peasy. And it reminded me of infinity Train.
And now I'm sad we won't get it.
Okay, back to this other sad train. Hold on a SEC. Okay, so they're going on the train. They're, like, on the platform, and they see an orchestra getting on, but they seem suspicious, and they're all dressed in black, and they, like, want to ride with their stuff. Yes.
Yeah. In, like, the storage car.
Yeah. And they, like, have a permission slip. The conductor is like, you can't do that. And he's like paper.
My dad says a key in.
We want to ride in the back with our instruments. I can't allow you to do that, sir. We got a permission slip. Fair enough. Go on ahead. I have no control over this.
I am the train boss.
But yeah, this piece of paper is pretty convincing.
I guess you talked to train station boss, who is my boss.
I won't actually have to be. I won't have to be on the train. So do what you want. I'm staying here.
So we see three other conductors talking about the train, and there's an older guy, and he's like, I'm retiring. You young fellows are going to have this train all to yourselves.
Poor Tony. He's dead.
Tony.
As soon as he said that, he was dead. Yes.
What a very clever thing. The guy who's one day away from retirement. This is my last ride. I've never seen this before.
Crazy. And there's, like, a really young dude, and then, like, a middle aged dude, and the really young dude sees a guy in the orchestra, a girl in the orchestra, and he says, now that's a good looking doll. And I fucking love these accents. They are bad shit levels of New York. It's amazing.
1930, Chicago, and you got a lot of characters to play around with, boy.
And check out the games on Earth.
And none of them are, like, perfect.
No.
A lot of them are just trying their best.
There's one character later in particular whose voice is just like, wow, that's a wild ass choice. But then I was like, there's like 30 characters. Why not? You only got so many voices.
God knows this character is going to disappear for the next 18 episodes. That's fine.
And there's like a group of rough looking folks. Like a couple of them are scarred and they're waiting for something to be loaded onto the train. I guess later we find out that they're going to steal also. This is like clue.
Exactly.
And then we see a suspicious child. And then there's another group of people that are in matching outfits. They're all wearing white and I mean, they're obviously like a gang. And the leader of these people, his name is Lab, he's pretty nutty. He's a madman, like a yonderey, but a man.
So a sociopath.
Yes. He's very excited to kill people.
Yeah.
And then miria and Isaac are just oblivious. They're just standing around being like, look at all of these different people getting on this train. I wonder what crazy things will happen.
Real quick, we see Isaac and Maria robbing a store in the opening, like in the little opening jingle and stuff, and they're just the costume like bandits. They're tropical. Like they always wear different costumes and yeah, they're in just crazy outfits all the time. So I think even on the train they're in very elaborate clothing and people are like, what are those people doing?
Yeah, and then we see some guys in like an office talking about the item and it's on the train, and one of them is like, by the way, sir, your wife and daughter are on the train. Do you want to stop it and take them off? And the guy who is a senator, he's like, nah, the item is more important if they die. That was God's choice.
Real piece of shit.
Yes. And then we see people talking about what's on the train and the rumor fact is that it's a bomb. And this kid Jacuzzi, Jacuzzi split, he's got a scar on his face. He's one of those people I got.
It in a Jacuzzi accent.
That's why they call me Jacuzzi.
I tried to put my eye up to one of the vents and jealousy.
And he's just not smart enough to think of a cooler story.
He's too dumb to lie.
I wanted to see where the bubbles come from. I thought there was a fishy in there.
Boy, was I wrong.
I like this jacuzzi better.
But the Jacuzzi in the show, he's like super anxious all the time and he's like, oh, what if your bomb goes off? And then niece, she's a woman who has scars like all over her body. She's like then it goes off. Who K is. And then they talk about some stuff which I couldn't follow. And then miria and Isaac are at the bar while they're at the bar, and they're just like eating a bunch of Chinese food because I guess that's what's served on the train. And then niece is like, hey, Jacuzzi, why don't you go say hi to them? You need to make more friends. So he does only a little.
Hey, what's up? I'm a feet five mean fellow passenger.
Wow. This just shows how stupid they are. As soon as they go over there, they're like, wow, what a fricking weird thing on your face. And they think it's a tattoo. And they're like, are you a movie star? And he's like, no, I'm not. I sell alcohol. That's what I do.
I will say we do find out later. It is a big tattoo on his face. And he got it because Nissan has all the scars from all the bombs he's made. And he wanted to do it so people would look at him more than they would look at her to try and control attention from her, I guess.
That's kind of nice.
It is sweet. But it also really works for his dumb guy logic.
Because it's not a tattoo of anything. It's just this weird, like crooked J. Like it's weird.
Yeah. It looks like what are those birthmarks called?
I know you're talking about the liver smoke.
Weinstein looks like one of those. But anyway, he gets really upset. He's like, I'm just a delinquent. And then because he's crying, Isaac is like, we won this conversation. Please join us for a meal.
We are friends now.
And then we see Isaac just talking about some stuff. And he's just like, if you pick up a bag, it and everything in it is yours now. And it's like, that's not worthy. That's not how it works.
We're on the fight is keep us expressed.
And like, Jacuzzi is just having like a good time. And like niece is kind of like, oh, this is like the happiest I've seen him in a while. And then while he's about to eat something, a kid like smacks into his side.
It's the suspicious kid from earlier.
And he chokes. But he lives. He's fine.
Real quick, in episode one, one of the quick clips we see is lad, the guy in all white who's like associated just blowing this kid's head off to smithereens.
Fuck.
Wow. I didn't even okay, cool.
Child murder.
Yeah. So he is with this girl, Mary, who is the senator's daughter. And then her mom comes up and she apologizes for her behavior when she didn't even do anything. I guess she was running. But suspicious child is the one that made the guy choke.
It was all her twist's fault.
But so they sit and chat and the woman is like, oh yeah, we're going to see my husband. And then the little boy very Angus McDonald. I'm going to see my family got all the silverware. And he tells them his name, which I it's like chezka.
Yeah.
Something is that actually it.
It's something like that. Yeah. It's like very Eastern European.
Chaz.
Chazz.
We'll call them chaz this child is Chaz. And then Isaac and miria start talking about this, like, urban legend called the Rail tracer. And then the young conductor guy is also talking about it. It's like a simultaneous conversation, and it's like a big cryptid that eats trains or something. It takes different forms. Once it reaches the train, the people start to disappear. Then after all the people are gone, the train itself vanishes. But there's more. If you tell the story on the train, that's the train that gets targeted, to which I say, why talk about it on a train? That would get rid of the problem entirely.
Come on. macbeth rules. You can't say this on the train. Take it outside.
Are you talking about the Irish train?
The Irish train.
It's the Scottish place.
I should have known.
But anyway, there's a way to stop it, but we don't hear it ever, because, I mean, it's already going to happen. Whatever. And then the orchestra folks, quote unquote orchestra folks wink. They're doing something. It's time. It's time for something. And then the mustache conductor guy, he starts to look a little crazy. And then the orchestra people are like a cult, and they're talking about how they want to be dead. It's time to transcend life and death, to be with Master hughie and his brothers, dewey and louie.
Whoa.
So they're a cult. And then Jacuzzi is like, how do we be safe from the Rail tracer? And then one of them is like, oh, I think I heard the young conductor guy talking about it. You should go ask him. So he runs off and he's like, yeah, I got to know. He's just, like, running through the train, like, absolutely panicking over this thing that may not be real based on the way that Isaac and miria were talking about it. It was like a scary campfire story, but he's freaking the heck out.
I'm sorry, I just got distracted. I looked at brendan's notes. It's covered by my audacity, but I just saw the phrase a huge dick, and I was taken aback for a second. I'm sorry.
Where are these maps?
This is how the timelines of the book lines up. Yeah, you just have a huge dick out of context. I'm like, Excuse me, I'm sorry.
When do we get to that part of the show?
Apparently, okay, I clicked in.
It says he's actually a human. Okay.
Apparently in the show phero is very shonen protagon. Like, let me help out these people. But in the novel, he's just a massive dick.
That's more fun.
Yeah.
So Chaz, small, suspicious boy, he's like, Why did I give my real name when I introduced myself? One of them must be immortal. And it's just like what?
Okay, sure, if you say so, champ.
It was at this point that there was too much happening, and I lost track of what was going on a little bit. The orchestra man, I actually thought this was kind of sick. He was like, the train is our altar and the passengers are the sacrifice. And I'm just like, fun. And then it turns out mustache conductor man is one of them, I guess. And then we see Jacuzzi freaking out again, tearing through the train. And then lad comes out of his compartment and he smacks into him. But nothing really comes of that in this one or Skittles. You got to help me find them. I drop my skittles and my eminem. How will I ever know which is which? Now I'm a larger chocolate. I messed up.
I got to break them all in half for you.
There's so many green ones. They used to be Live, but now they're apple and no one oh, my God.
Don't even get me started on that.
Hello, boy, this time. I'm so peeved.
I hate let me tell it real quick. Let me tell you how I found out that they were green apple. I was a junior in high school, and the girl sitting next to me was eating Skittles, and she was like, do you like the green ones? And I was like, oh, my God, yes. So she gave me, like, a handful of them, and I ate one, expecting it to be this delicious windex lime. And it was just fucking green apple, which is, like, one of my least favorite flavors of candy. I was so mad. I went around telling everybody, and they were like, what?
I've been accosted rib.
So that's that.
It's weird because I like green apple. It's one of my favorite. And I despise the skittle, the green apple. And it's weird.
I miss lime. Bring it back.
Skittle. The skittle tangent is about the way this show presents stories. We're going to go back to it, and it's going to seem like it has nothing to do with it. But when we get to episode three, the Skittles are going to pay off.
Yeah, keep that in the back pocket listening.
Yeah. I have one note left, and it is that the mustache conductor pulls a gun on the young conductor, and that's the end of episode, too.
So can we just quickly, in, like, one sentence, can someone say what the fuck is going on? Because I don't know.
Do I need a minute?
We don't need to say a sentence. I just wanted to see if anyone could.
Six different animes all take place on a train.
That means pretty spot on. Yeah. Give you that.
Every person has their own plot. There's not an A plot and B plot. There's an alphabet plot. There's 26 plots going on.
Everyone's a main character. And I forgot to mention it apparently also the first journalist asshole.
Doesn't matter.
Yeah, he's like, maybe I'm a main character and credits.
Fuck. Oh, God.
I just remembered that. And I got very mad if that persisted.
Like that meta level of Carol and vice President her. Boss Tuesday. If that kept happening, if they were like, the narrators of the show, I think that would be kind of fun. But that's not the case.
Just anything that we can latch on to be like, how do these connect? Oh, it's the random collections of two people trying to figure out how they connect. Okay, that's at least a device. But they introduce it and then say, don't worry about that.
I think they come up like, two or three times, and it's literally just them recounting the story to each other. Like they're trying to figure out the story while we're trying to figure out the story, and it's like, well, there you go. Audience surrogate once again, I think they probably come up more in the novels. I wouldn't know, though, because they don't appear much in the show. weirdly, weirdly. Similar plot devices to Abraham Lincoln vampire hunter, which I did read. It's not a bad book. It's an all right movie. It's not a bad book, though. I'll defend that one.
All right, we have one more episode.
Here we go. So episode three opens with Eve generod, who is the sister to Dallas, and she is at the shipyard watching men pull up stuff with a big crane at the docks, like, in the shipyard. And they're just pulling up sludge and different debris. And she's waiting for them to pull up something, but they never do. And she's there with her butler. So very fancy. hoa de toy. And then we cut to some mafia guys going into a newspaper office. It's the daily taunt or daily days. We've heard that name before.
The daily times.
The daily times. And is that a real newspaper? Daily times, yeah. Yeah.
Wow. What a bad name.
Won't argue that. And these mafia guys go into this newspaper office asking for Dallas generod. They're the Ranarada family. Ranarada family? Yeah.
Are you schnitzel from scouterada?
And if this story wasn't confusing enough, there's a lot of mafia families with a lot of different names, and it's mostly Chicago in 1930s and like the flying pussy foot in 1931. So those are the main settings.
Not all the settings, but the main.
Settings, but the main ones we'll talk about right now. And they're looking for information on Dallas generos. And the provider of the newspaper, Nicholas, pops up, and he's like, ah, I got information about Dallas generat. It'll cost you 500 bones, though, and a little information of your own. Ha ha. wink. And they go, okay, what if we kill you for it? And he's like, ah, I'd like to see you try a motherfucker. And everyone at the newspaper office pulls out guns and are ready to just blast these two guys away. Drop of a hat. So, yeah, don't go up against newspapers in the think you're safe about that one, though. I don't think you have to worry about that as much anymore. But, yeah, nicholas is an information broker as well as a newspaper editor. So he's got all the information, he's got all the scoops. So he's the one people are coming to for information. And then we cut back to 1930, and some guy's bragging about how he's involved with the Renarod family and he's under their protection. And he bumps into a group of guys in an alleyway. He's like, don't you know who I am? And the guys say no and pop him in the face and just start wailing on him and just start beating the shit out of him.
Nice.
So that didn't do him any good. And then luck, gondor shows up and he's like, hey, leave this guy alone. Don't go around saying the rendered name too much. This is gondor territory. It's almost like godor like, lights the fire. They call for aid. Lord of the Rings. I can't hear the name and I think Lord of the Rings. So he shows up and stops these guys. The guy that was beating up the other guy, that just a big old asshole in the red burgundy suit. That's dallas general. This is before he went missing. Okay, that's the reaction I wanted because it's not clear and he's very generic follow. I've already watched this show. That's how I know I meant like, as a general. Like, oh, no, you can't. This takes like three viewings at least because he's so generic looking. So he stops them from beating up the guy up in the alley. Then we cut to 1931 and we're back on the train and we see lad in his thank God. Makes sense. We cut to lad in his Wheat room with Lua, his bride to be. They're going to get married, and he's also going to kill her, but before, he's going to kill everyone else that loves life because that's how he gets off. Because once again, sociopath. And he's saving little of her last because she loves life the most, more than anyone else he meets. And he can't wait to kill her and see the life drain from her eyes. Just a real charge.
It doesn't really seem that way, though.
That's what it is.
She's like, Why don't you kill me now?
Actually, I can't tell if she's into it or if she's a hostage. It's hard to gauge.
But he's I fully understand wanting to die at this point.
She's the new audience surrogate. And when he's talking to her, one of his cronies opens up the door and is like, hey, vicky's out going into the dining hall. He's getting niche. And lad is just like, oh, how I envy vicky. I wish I was him and I could just be out there killing folks. And lou is like, hey, why don't you go out after him? And lad is like, that's a great idea. I'll just follow him. It's like, wow, not that bright, are you, lad? So he goes after vicky and that's when he walks out of his door and bumps in the jacuzzi, which we saw in the last episode. And jacuzzi is like, I got it. Everyone's going to die. I got to go talk to the guitar by. And lad is like, that kid looks familiar. And we get a flashback to a wanted poster of jacuzzi. And he's like, yeah, yeah. And he calls out his goon and lua and it's like, hey, go to the conductor's office and you see the kid with the tattoo on his face NAB him for me. And then he goes off to chase after vicky and the dining call or dining car. And then we cut back to two mafia guys in an alleyway and they're just sitting around playing with fire as you do in the them. Does like a little trick where he lays his hand on fire and puts it out, and the other was like, Cool, let me try. And he just lights his hand on fire and he's just an idiot. He's like, no, you would use the cotton glove, not a leather one, or whatever he had. And they're like, oh, gee, thanks for warning me. Now I guess I'm saying he's like, yeah, I wouldn't let myself on fire. I'm not an idiot. The entire place is on fire now because they were using, like, kerosene to do the trick. So it just spread like crazy and now that it's burning down, and then we cut to a man in a basement in his laboratory. He's got a rat pinned to a board and just smashes the rat with a hammer as you do in the 30s.
My experiment has gone successfully.
Hammer plus rat equal rat. And this is Sizzlard. I believe his name is S. He.
Is the restaurant sizzler.
Sizzlard S-Z-I-L-A-R-D. However, you'll pronounce that I can't get wow.
I can't get past this.
And we see him smash the rat, and then we see all the blood sucked back into the rat, and the rat starts moving again while it still pins the board. And he goes, my pull remedial is perfected.
I need a better hammer, I guess.
And then as he's accelerating, just fire everywhere. The fire is above him now and it's spreading down and consuming his lab. And he's like, oh, no, the formula. And he goes to get it, but it's already being consumed by the fire. So he's able to pull out two bottles of him and put him in an ice box and he picks it up and runs out of the building. And that's when we cut to eva Genevrod, who's the girl who was at the docks looking for her brother. She's now going to the Daily Days with her two servants looking for any information about Dallas, which is conveniently right when we see the two Mafia guys leaving the Daily Days after they just asked about information about Dallas. What a coincidence.
Great.
And then we cut to yeah, they went asking about information about Dallas. And then we cut to miza and pharaoh, who are two other guys show. And they're buying hats. That's a big I like this show. I can't offend it remotely. I can't offend this. It's confusing as shit. I do like it, though. So he's welcoming phero into the matillo family. Got another crime family for you. Write that one down. And as they're leaving the hat store, they bump into Isaac and miria, who are in their very rich opera, like Hawaii Toyota rapids. And they bump into them. They're like, ugh. They're like, excuse me, isaac's like, there's no excuse for bad manners. It's like, I love these two idiots. I love these two characters. They're just having fun.
They're the only beacon of light.
They're just having fun. And there's a lot of crime around them.
I think I understand the metaphor now. They want the philosophical thing they're trying to say is, hey, don't try to understand. Be a dumb, happy idiot, and you don't have to deal with all this bullshit.
That's what I'm doing. I'm loving this. I'm on board.
I love this.
Just let it go. That's how you watch anime. Just let it go. You just watch 32 episodes of it, and you don't understand any of it. So as miza and pharaoh are walking away, they see a big old fire happening down the street. And fear is like, I like, Fire? I'm going to check it out. And me is like, what? Why? Okay. So fiora goes running off. And while checking it out, fioro bumps into a lady wearing a black suit, short red hair. That's anis it's also the last name of a buddy of mine. And then that has much relevance as anything else. What a fun.
It'll come up in a few episodes of the podcast.
Leaders keep track of it. I haven't talked to him in three years, but we'll have him on the episode. On an episode.
We'll time jump back three years.
And he bumps into her. And he's like, oh, excuse me, miss. And she's like, see you. And she dropped a button. And he's like, a button? She'll definitely need this. Let me go. Chasing after her all around town. So he does that because she lost a button. Then we cut back to jacuzzi freaking out, saying everyone's going to die if I don't find the young conductor. And then we cut to the orchestra cult that's talking about their plans to rescue Master huey. And then we cut back to Eve. A lot of jump cuts. A lot of jump cuts. They cut back to Eve with two servants. And they're there to see an informant, elaine, who's a friend of her maid, samantha. And he's a black fellow wearing a traditional Chinese tang suit. I had to look this up because I wanted to know what the name of that suit was for a long time. And it's a tang suit. If you mix it with some water, you get some weird orange pulp. And he's an information broker at the Daily Days, specifically, like the chinatown, like the, like, section of the paper. And he's saying like, oh, you're looking for Dallas? That no good criminal crook. Dallas that piece of shit. Everyone hates Dallas. Fuck Dallas. And eve's like Dallas is my brother. He's like, sorry, why is he a brother?
He's a piece of shit.
He's like, sorry I said all that. It's all true though. I didn't lie. And then a guy shows up with information and he's like, you're late. Why it took you so long? And the guy just like, hands a piece of paper and he's like, yeah, give me a second to rate this. We have nothing about Dallas. I'm sorry. It's just like, okay, I don't know why that guy came in if he just told you we had nothing. And he says, but we'll help you look for Dallas. And if we get any information for you, Ms. jenner Rod, we all let you know. And then we cut back to phero finding sizzler. I'm just going to call him that now. Bother. And he's getting mugged by a group of nerd due Wells. These are the nerdwells we saw earlier that were beating up that one guy. Turns out this is Dallas and his boys. So this is back in the past a bit.
Great. I love it.
He's like, hey, why are you beating.
Up that old man?
And they're like, we're going to beat you up now. And he's like, okay. So they start fighting, and phero beats them all up because he's just that good. And then the lead guy, Dallas, pulls out a knife and tries to cut phero, but it doesn't work. And fiero knocks him out. And when they're all knocked out, he helps out sizzler. He's like, hey, old man, why is that work? That is that box really worth all this trouble? You're protecting it with your life? And he's like, shut up. Go away. Like, if you want money, I'll give it to you. Otherwise, leave me alone. And he's like, all right, fair enough. By the way, just see a hot name walk by in a black suit with some short red hair. No? Okay, see you. And then pharaoh leaves. And then as Sizzler's walking away, he's like, oh, I finally got out of that. We see the arm reach out from off screen and pull him back. Cut to Sizzler's dead. Turns out Dallas woke up and just murdered him. That's what happens when you just knock someone unconscious and leave them alone. They can wake up soon and continue crimes.
Great. Glad we had that scene stopping him 2 seconds ago. Why not make it one coherent scene? No, we got to split it up. We can't tell one narrative thing in one scene.
We got time to fill.
We got 16 episodes and no way. We'll condense all these plot lines, and then we cut back to vicky in the dining hall in his white suit. He's one of the lads, gangs, gang members. And he's getting all itchy he's getting trigger happy. He's like, I got a murder. And then we see him pull out two guns. He's like, all right, everyone, this is a robbery. And then at the same time, we see the orchestra comment kicking the door, and they all have guns. Like, everyone get down on the floor. And then at the same time, we see jacuzzi and nissan's guy kicking the door, and he's like, this is a stick up. And he just has a pocket knife. And he's like, okay, I will leave. And he just shuts the door back because he brought a knife to a gunfight. Good day.
Wrong car.
Sorry. Excuse me. I'm going to rob someone else. And, yeah, it turns out they're all robbing them at the same time. And this is the dining cart with Isaac and miria and the senator's family and the little kid chas.
They're all in here, and Uncle frankie and oh, yeah. Did we not get to these characters? Yes. There's a bear alien named Bongzo.
Giuseppe Bongzo is my wife, who I like. Proper respect for bonzo. Everyone's converging in the dining car, and it's all kerfuffle is about to go down. And then we cut back to sizzler, and we see his body, like, murdered in an alleyway. Start healing itself like the rat. And he wakes up, and he sees the lady in the black suit, and he's like, It's you. And it's like, you son of a bitch. You knew at us the whole time. And then we get the last shot of the episode of jacuzzi finding the conductor all dismembered in the car at the back, and he's like, oh, no, the rail tracers here. That's episode three. Perfectly succinct. I don't know what the confusion is about. It's a clear cut story.
We made it to the end.
Got any questions?
Why didn't you stop me?
Why would I?
You had a duty.
This is payback for them to draw out our episode.
You win. Okay? You win. This is great. This is good art. Okay, you win. I admit it. I'm a dumb idiot that doesn't understand pure art. Okay, you win.
I have fun here. Thank you, conan Jay, for recommending this anime.
I don't really have any questions.
Only because you don't know where to begin.
Yeah.
Same boat. I couldn't comprehend.
I cannot parse this.
All right. Like formalities. Are we there yet?
No.
Okay. God, especially safe assumption. Just had to have it said on the pie.
I checked out four lines into my notes out of a full sheet of paper. Well, a little bit less since I gave up. Yeah, I got four lines. That's it.
So turns out sizzler made the elixir of life. Turns out he made the potion that makes people immortal. And it turns out a whole bunch of people, pretty much every main character in the opening sequence got some of that juice. And chaz freaked out when he said his real name because normally he would just lie and tell him something else, but you have to tell the other immortals your real name for some reason. So that's why we got all these we got gangs going on in the 1930 Chicago. That's what the train is happening. They all eventually converge. We got a shot of miza pharo and Luck generat and his two brothers waiting at the train station. They're waiting for people to show up on the train. Like, that's where the train is going to end up. And that's why they meet Isaac and miria in the one part of the episode, and they're like, you guys. And then ennis is the homunculus that was made by sizzler. So that's how she knew him. What else? No, mira, what was his name? The guy with the classes that bought her hold on. No, I got it.
Showed me pictures of any of these characters. I could not tell you any of them.
Scrungo, cheudle. Oh, that's a pokemon.
That is a name.
Flecknar the great.
Turns out maza and chaz, the little kid, and a few others, I don't remember exactly who. Turns out they were back in 1711, they were on a ship coming to America, and they drew the satanic Circle and summoned a fucking demon. And that's how they got immortality.
Here's the thing. Like I said, I think that's interesting. It sets up interesting ideas.
Yeah, but it just doesn't there's it just doesn't way too much. It's way too much. Like, I'm watching this for, like, the second time, and I'm still piecing stuff together. Okay, I do enjoy it. It's way too much. And the rail tracer, turns out it's not a fun cryptid. Turns out it's just a serial killer. And turns out it's the young conductor with the red hair. So he was going to kill the middle age conductor, but then the middle age conductor tried to kill him, but then he ended up killing the middle age conductor, and that's whose member body was in the train car at the back at the end of episode three.
Sure.
Also, that's kind of a fun twist. I don't know.
Sorry for any listeners who actually wanted to watch this show. spoiler. It's chaos. You're actually probably better off knowing the whole story before watching it.
I was lost immediately watching this. But just like, oh, yeah. There are two different types of immortality, the demonic kind and the potion kind.
The potion kind of fuck you.
Fuck you.
And at some point, the potion gets mixed into stuff. That's why, like, everyone like and everyone drinks it at some point. That's why we had the one scene of lad and Lua, like, getting arrested by all those cops. And he says, and he's covered in blood and he says, what are you looking at? And holds up his arm and it's just like a bone, like, sticking out of his arm because it was, like, severed off. Because he's an immortal now and so is Lua. And that's why he shot chad's in the head. And chaz's head regrew after he left, because chaz is an immortal. But he's an immortal from the boat in 1711 with the demon Packed.
See, at this point, with all of your description, I would just say just watch Full Metal Alchemist.
Not against that statement.
If that's the kind of things you're into. Watch full Metal alchemist if you want the gang stuff, I don't know what to recommend.
Durham?
Yeah, du.
Rah. That's just a modern day gang war, but that's also a mystical element in it, which I really enjoy.
I think I'm most mad because I unleash this hell upon myself so I don't have anyone to blame. It's just the shame.
And you could blame Connor.
I won't. conan J. conan again.
Conan.
J I love you. You're great. I don't like this show, but you as a person, I hope you're having a great day. I hope you're having a good month. You deserve it.
And fuck.
Fucking out.
Closing statement.
Here's a little arg fun for you. For anyone who remembers the tweet we sent out on Saturday, August 22. It was like a week and a half ago as of this episode dropping. I said, it's gonna be a wild episode. Just want to let you know we love you. This is what I was referring to.
This is it.
I planted the seed early. This is my bakado. I planted a while.
See, I had a similar thought, but I was thinking about tweeting out my resignation from the show and I help.
Wanted ad for a new Hope replacement. Us.
But, yeah, I'm glad you took it in a different direction.
It wouldn't be nearly as fun if it was just me enjoying anime for an hour. We need the tension. We need the drama. What's next week? Yeah.
Oh, boy.
Change the subject.
We're watching two robot russians kick back.
In two sentences as a completely unrelated.
C. I'll try not to. It's my pick. And I'm absolutely thrilled we're going to be joined by my boyfriend Paul because we're going to be watching my recent obsession and his favorite anime of all time, ping pong. The animation, it's really good, and I.
Really hope you guys like it very stylized.
Because if you don't, I think I'll actually be really sad.
I know Paul will never talk to me again if I don't like it. So I need to get rid of this hateful energy now.
See, the thing is, I don't want to get anybody's hopes up, but in my mind, it's like the paddington of anime. The paddington two of anime. There is nothing wrong with it. I know that's just how I feel about it. I really like it and I really hope you guys do, too. And we're going to watch episodes two, three and four.
After Paul recommended, I specifically avoided watching it, so we can watch on the show, but I'm very excited to watch it finally.
And if there's a show you the listener would like to recommend, first off, just really think about it.
Just really make sure about it.
Just go on a long drive and just mull it over.
Just make sure it's nothing by rioga nirata, because two for two so far. I love it, but blacklisted from the show.
But yeah. You can send your recommendations to us are weveriat@gmail.com as our email? Or you can reach out to us on Twitter or Instagram at are we there yet? On both. You can find me on Twitter and Instagram at mrpatrick. dugan.
You can find me on Instagram at queen. Period weeaboo and on twitter at queen underscore weebu and queen underscore weeaboo art.
You find me at Twitter at abts Brendan. It stands for Almost Better Than Silence, which is a video game podcast I do occasionally. It's about as incoherent as this show, but it's fun.
Also, before I forget again, I just started, I edit and produce a music podcast, the no earbuds podcast, for my friend Jamie. They just had a baby and got back from maternity leave. So we just released two new episodes. So if you want to get some cool music recommendations, some fun punky poppy stuff, then check that out. Nice, but yeah. Thank you to camille ruley. I was waiting for someone to talk and I was like, no, it's my turn. Thank you to camille ruley for her artwork, and thank you to louie zong for themesong stories. You can find all of louie's music at Louisong bandcamp.com. Thank you and we hope you'll join us next week as we learn to live with anime.
I didn't even get to the jacuzzi or nice story.
Stop, louie.
Thank you.