The kind of night that makes me want to have a bite to drink. Hello and welcome to our we've there yet in exploration and education and anime. I'm your anime idiot, patrick dugan.
Me. I'm an anime expert. dee hollander.
Oh, hi. I didn't see you come in. I'm Brent of mccullough, your anime twelve foot tall skeleton from Home depot.
Spooky, scary skeleton.
When did you get here, Mr. Skeleton? Oh, come in. I didn't clean the place.
How embarrassing.
I've been here the whole time. I was built into the walls.
Oh, like attack on titan. Are we watching Attack on titan?
God, I hope not. We'll get there one day. But, boy, howdy am I pushing it off as long as I can.
Me too.
No, we got something scarier.
Should we do Halloween theme names? I mean, you you got your skeleton mentioned. I'm I'm I'm bad.
Yeah, I don't have I'm, like I am on Twitter, I think spooky d.
All right, but on Twitter, it burns when I weeb, and now it burns when I hollow. weebly.
Helllander.
Ah, there we go.
But no, it is I don't know why this adjective always comes to mind. It is the titular time of Halloween.
Oh, my God.
Not the right word, but it is tiz the season and tiz the night, so I figured we'll do a creepy one because we've done plenty of horror anime before, and nine out of 9.5 out of ten times, there's shit and not good shit. Like, just bad, objectively, poorly done shows. So I've given up on horror. I'm sure there might be some good horror out there. junji Tozamaki has got promise, but don't email us with your horror anime recommendation. I don't care.
They're not holding out hope.
No, but I figure we'll do one that's at least around the same theme. Creepy. A little spooky horror is a stretch, I would say, for this one, but it's in the same vein, if you will. haha. that'll be a joke you get in a minute when I reveal the haha. Anyway, this week we're watching Hell sing the old 2001 Hell Singh, because vintage media series love to title their stuff the same thing, and it gets really confusing to figure out which one it is. So this is the first one as far as I know. Are either of you familiar with Helsing?
I've heard of it and seen the guy, but I've never watched it.
You've seen an amv? You know who he is?
Yeah, I was on the Internet in the late 2000s.
Late auts.
Yeah. I mean, obviously this was way before that, but who doesn't love a spooky vampire man?
Yeah, I feel like there were posters of this in our old workplace because I'm like, I've seen this pervert's face, but I only know it from, like, a static image. It has to have been a poster.
Where do I know this pervert?
Everyone's favorite game in Hollywood.
It's a very apt question.
Name that pervert.
If you do, you'll be blacklisted. Sorry. Yeah, this is one weirdly I'm in the same boat with you all I know of it. I've seen it a ton floating around the Internet or in like Sun Coast videos or stuff back in the day. I couldn't tell you more about this show other than I'm pretty sure, not 100%, but I'm pretty sure the dude in the red suits a vampire.
And that's my are you sure, Brandon? Does he seem like a vampire?
Like, we can joke, but it is anime. And there might be some weird technicality of he's actually a hybrid werewolf virus. Like fucking anime.
You bringing a show that you haven't watched is the scariest thing you could do on Halloween.
Statistically, it is the worst shows we have. So yeah, we'll see. I don't know much. I won't defend it much. I'm going implied as the rest of you.
Blind as a bat. The puns don't stop the jokes right themselves.
The jokes lift forever. They might as well be undead.
I'll stake my reputation that you'll be here after the break.
Boo boo is also upon Ghost. haha.
I don't know.
That was good. It was a jump scare. I love it.
Surprise. Everyone surprised even me that it somehow worked.
Caught us all off guard. We're back, baby.
We've returned from the demon realm.
We're back. A dinosaur story. Sorry, John. Good. That movie's weird movie is wild and fully on YouTube. Don't be a narc and report it. Please watch it for free. It's a wild time.
It is a weird movie. Anyway.
Yeah, we got William Bloyers. Figured it was appropriate for the season and God help me, I don't want to go anywhere near Tokyo Ghoul ever again. So figured this is a safer bet. Start off with episode one, I think is a trends where newer shows starting off with no opening or cold open rather than older shows. Because again, a rare opening sequence right off the bat in episode one.
Yeah.
So I think that just shows its age, but it's not a straight bad thing. Very jazzy.
Very vibey, very jazzy.
I was on board for this.
I like the dog.
We don't get to the dog in these three episodes.
I don't know if it's a symbolic dog.
Yeah, that's what I couldn't figure out, if it was like an actual character and like talks and sounds like Joe peschi for some reason, like a lot of animals do in early anime. But wild, wild looking, multi eye dog. So we get the opening. I listen to it every episode. I really enjoyed the opening. Had strong cowboy beef off energy, which is appropriate for the time this came out. Opens with a very foggy city. Going to guess European, probably British. It's a safe bet. And we got some helicopter screen.
I don't know. If only just someone would speak. I I'm sure that would clear up where we're located.
I don't know about that.
If only. If only. Later on, a character would literally say, like, honor to you from Her majesty.
The Queen, or whatever they said that could be.
We know there's a lot of queens out there. And it opens with some helicopter scrambling as we get, like, intercutting shots of, like, a car, very fancy car, as we see the helicopter scrambling for their target. And along with the car and the helicopters, we also see a guy, some hands, not like clear shots, but a guy prepping some swords and some guns. It's anime.
Why not?
And we see that they seem to be focusing it they keep talking about focusing it on their target. And right as they are talking about that, we see the car arrive at this big mansion as a woman gets out. Very fashionable lady who walks into the mansion. We see her squirt into a room by a sleazy guy. He shuts the door behind her. He offers her a drink and saying he shuts the door behind her, saying he prefers the darkness, hominous foreboding. And he gets real I don't know a better way to think. He just starts sipping real hard for her, worshipping her beauty and all this stuff. Woman's done nothing besides maybe take over her coat. And he's just going real slimy.
I like that. He goes over and like, when he starts to touch her, he's just, like, rubbing her tummy. She's bloody.
Yeah.
That's not the most sexy thing you could do right now.
Your forearms are delightful. That's a weird pick, man.
May I kiss that? Well, kissing your arms.
Nice. Anyway, we also get a few shots of centipedes just, like, spilling out from somewhere, which is never really clear to me. And, yeah, he starts feeling her up in the darkness, like kissing his way up her arms. And meanwhile, we see the man in a red suit up here. Long duster coat, big red floppy hat. Honestly, he looks kind of silt. Sorry. No, not that season. We got to wait a few more.
We used another Christmas show. God damn it.
Wrapping up. We're going again.
You confused him, Brendan.
He said, oh, no, honestly, though, we talked about it a bit on the break, but he's a great character design. But initially he does look kind of silly because it's just like all red and this big hat and it's like ascot. No, what's the thing?
Ascot.
Ascot? Something like that. He's got an orbolo tie. I don't know.
And ask off is a fart. Brandon.
He slips into the room. We're top of our game, right? Slips into the room and he steps on some of the centipedes again, I don't know where they were or where they came from.
They were coming out of her pussy.
Where are they?
I don't know. They might have been with this energy. Who knows?
Yeah, we do get just like weird angles on her where it's like, that wasn't neat. And the guy in the red suit stands up, starts talking a bit about himself and saying out, another creature of the night is lord in another unsuspecting victim, yada yada. And basically says he's with the Helsing organization titled the show the Name the Thing. And he aims his gun and he tells the man to get out of his way as he shoots the woman square in the head. And as he does, she fades into ash. She was a vampir, not the sleazy guy. And honestly, the woman never reacts to anything. I thought she was dead to begin with.
I mean, she was technically fair.
And the man scared and scrambles out as he sees she's a vampire. And as he's running out of the mansion, he sees a bunch of cops, or special unit running into the mansion, swarming the place, as we see the man in the red suit leave. And we'd cut to a film strip. It's got a little bit of grain and a red tint to it rolling as we see just a dog running around with, like, a severed leg in his mouth. And then we see a priest walk up the road with a craze look in his eyes. And he's got pointy ears and fangs and red eyes, and it's a vampire priest. A walking contradiction a little bit, yeah. And we see camera zooms out a bit. We see just a man sitting at a table in a suit recapping the situation, saying like, we sent a bunch of cops in to take care of the situation and they all got killed and then got turned into, like, ghouls by the vampire. So now the cops are killing anyone else that comes in. It didn't work out well. We kind of shit the bed here.
We just escalated real fast.
We're like, we know how vampires work, and we clearly did not. So he's recapping the situation and it pans over to see a long haired woman in glasses. I realized she looks exactly like Alicard from the Castlevania series, but like a little dancer.
Also, I'm fairly certain they call this character sir. She's a woman, though.
Yeah, she's a lady.
I just kept saying they because they give big non binary vibes.
They do. Yeah. But, yeah, we see the man recounting the situation to her and how the group and she kind of says, how does the group solve for not properly taking precautions against vampires? That's her specialty, because she is cert. God, I just read it. They said it.
I just kept calling them pointy hair.
Fair integra, hell Singh. Again, the title. I didn't realize it till after watching it. Van helsinge. I get it now, but I'm just putting it on the record. I am done. Listen, I don't think a lot is why I watch anime. It's safe to assume she's a Van Helsing descendant. And she says that she sent an agent in to take care of the situation, and the guy next was, like, an agent. She said, I only need one. He's competent.
And I would cut to Brendan just real quick. You understand alucard, right? You get how that is, like, vampire related?
The castlevania character.
It's dracula Park. Is that a joke? That's a joke, right?
That one's a joke.
Okay.
Thank God. The title of the show being connected to van housing, that one's genuine. I genuinely didn't realize it. And then we come back to the man in the red suit, and he says, it is a nights like this that make him want to go for a bite to drink, which is confusing because you don't bite drinks. That's not how drinking things work. Anyway, we get a few shots of some cops that were attacked earlier. We see them all scattered around like the area dead. And we see a short haired blonde girl come out of this big armored swat van in a police uniform. She goes up to one of her down teammates. She's trying to help him up and patch them up, and we see bite marks on them. And she says she doesn't want to be seen as kitten for the rest of her life. We don't actually get her name in this episode, so I just wrote kitten down for the whole thing for my notes, but she's basically the rookie of the team, and she doesn't want to be seen as a rookie the whole time. And while she's doing that, she hears some groaning and turns around to see all of her teammates, undead now, ghouls attacking her. The one she was helping immediately gets up and tries to bite her as well, so she runs away, trying to escape from them.
I'm sorry, just real quick, this dub is so good. She says something to the effect of, are you guys okay? Wait, you're not okay. You're dead quality.
But in a not good British accent.
Oh, yeah, everyone has a fake British accent, and it is delightful.
Like I said, it took me a while to figure out it was England, because the accents weren't helping. She starts running away from all of her teammates, who are now undead and integra. Says the hunter she sent will handle it all herself. So we just do a quick cut away to her and cut back. Meanwhile, the police woman, Kitten that feels weird to say.
Yeah, that's bad.
I don't like that.
You could just say her name.
True. We know. Victoria.
Victoria. Yeah.
Victoria runs around and runs to a civilian who is also a ghoul, and she's about to shoot her, but she's she's worried about shooting her. And then the civilian gets stabbed through the chest. Just the entire center of her torso is obliterated by hand. And it's the man in the red suit. He says, it's a beautiful night for blood suckers. And she's scared because she could tell he's a vampire. She shoots him and hits him in the shoulder and kind of laps it off, and she runs away, seeing that he isn't human. Cut back to integra. She's flying into the city, and we see her adjusting the cross tie clip she has. I think they just wanted us to make sure she is still on her way. Cut back to Victoria, and she sees an old church with the light on inside. She goes in, trying to get some cover. Once inside, she sees the priest saying that the church offers sanctuary to those in distress. And he says he is here to guide the Week of Heart. piss, it's the priest they're trying to hunt. He's the vampire.
You did that. I'm sorry, piss.
Yeah, he's a vampire in the thrift shop manner.
We love macklemore in this house.
No, we don't.
She says she's here to deal with the priest. As he lines up her gun on him and sees that his eyes are not he opens up his eyes now, showing that they're very clearly red and kind of no longer trying to hide his fangs. And he starts explaining I figured this kind of where he says info dump. He kind of starts explaining a ghoul and a vampire and how he hasn't given them blood to he hasn't I forget the term words. He explains that there's a goal. Vampire clearly doesn't stick too well. It's a bad explanation. As she holds up her gun, threatening them. Don't move. Don't get any closer. As he puts her under a spell, under a daze of some sort. And before she realizes, he's already right up next door pulling her in, saying that he's going to turn her into a vampire. And she says if he tries anything, she lifts up the gun to his head shield. She won't hold back. Blows brains out. And right as she says that, we see someone punching through the front door of the church. It's the man in the red suit.
He's back. The vampire I shot and did nothing. Perfect timing after I just threatened to shoot this other vampire.
What could go wrong? And as he kicks open the door, he's talking about how lowly and pathetic this vampire is, how he's scum on the Earth. And he introduced himself as albuquerque. And he works for the housing organization. Hey, wait a minute.
These pieces are all coming together.
And he works for the housing organization, and he says he's betraying his race because he's working for humans. And Alicard kind of just goes on a tirade, calling him against scum and a pest and a cockroach, saying he's not like a true vampire and he's just a waste of space killing mindlessly. And as he approaches, we see all the police ghouls jump out from the pews in the church, and they start opening fire on alicart. Just blah, blah, blah. I don't know how we didn't see any of them all the pews, but they pop up and unload on them and tear all the cart apart from all the gunfire. And we see after all the cart drops, get a shot of the moon raising up a little bit in the sky. It's not every scene at night, but I think it's like every scene of vampires. We do see the skies red, like bright red, even at night, which I think is just a nice touch just for atmospheric sequencing. And we see as the moon rises it but we see Alicard's body start reforming and starts gaining back his body parts and healing, saying guns alones aren't enough for him and he's weak for using all these Ghouls. He's a pathetic that part of the needs to rely on ghoul. And he pulls out his gun and blows all the Ghouls away in like one shot. He just unloads his gun and just disintegrates bodies left and right. And as he starts approaching, he says he's got his own reasons for joining the housing organization. And the priest tries to negotiate with them, holding Victoria hostage, saying, you can't shoot him without shooting her. And you know, maybe they could team up, they could be buddies. Imagine a pair of vampires working together, they could control the world, as if vampires haven't existed for thousands of years and still haven't done that. And Alecart lines up a shot, starts talking to Victoria and says his plan is he's going to shoot her. And then the priest behind her, he's going to go through her in one shot, but he wants to he wants to make that offer to her, because if she doesn't want to die, it'll be her choice to make. And it's all a very vague wording for what he actually ends up offering and doing to her, but she accepts the offer. So he shoots clean through her and we just see like a giant hole appear like in her side, hits the vampire behind her, which then blows him up into the cross, very fitting as he turns to ash and dies.
He was crucified baby neymar and the.
Father and Son and the holy vampir. And we see Victoria bleeding out on the ground as alikar picks her up and says it was always a choice and a choice is hers to make as he leans in and bites her neck. From what he said, that's not what the offer I took from him again, I got it. If he was holding a gun at me, it wasn't like, hey, you want to be a vampire? That didn't come through, clearly.
I don't know, I guess I just I don't know, maybe he's going to shoot her, but then he's going to bite her and make her a vampire so she doesn't die. I don't know.
Well, I've already established a stupid eye in this episode, so clearly I'm in.
The right context clues.
And he says people usually turn away when he goes to bite him, but she watches the whole time.
I would, too. Am I right, ladies? Listen, his face is not extremely attractive, but Christmas freeman's voice is.
He's got style, and it carries him a long way.
He's got a very commanding presence, and it's like, okay, do whatever you say.
Now, this might be blasphemous for saying there are certain angles where his features seem to be extended, like, kind of long, not traditionally handsome. I'm getting waluigi vibes.
Well, waluigi sexy.
That's what I mean.
We all know it.
We all agree. Cut to integrate. Arriving at the scene, out at, like, the police barricade or out setting up perimeter. And as she is arriving, we see Alicard carrying out Victoria in a little bundle, and her eyes are red. I wonder what happened. And he confirms that the mission was accomplished with minimum power released. And she says, he took too long. He should have wrapped this up easier. And Alicard requests that the police woman he also only refers to her as the police police girl. Police girl?
Yeah. Not even the respective police woman. Police every time.
Yeah. And he says he requested the police girl be transferred to the housing organization. And integra says, you're not one to be making a request. Shut your hole. And he says that she made the choice, kind of saying, it's not my fault she agreed to it. I just put her in a very precarious situation. And he says, this was a perfect night, right? Because it was a perfect night for Bloodstickers, which she now is. Get it? And yeah, then we get the credits, much less jazzier. Honestly, feels like a pop rock, like, sort of bon jovi song. I didn't care for it.
It screams, hey, this was early.
It reminds me of Black Butler because Black Butler season one had an English ending that was very poppy and just kind of, like, didn't go with the tone of the show at all.
Similar to this. Yeah. And then there's a very weird short effort from the other episodes. It seems to be the same animation, and they just redub the lines. I don't know what this thing is. It's really weird. It does nothing. It adds nothing.
Someone like, I didn't stick around long enough to me starting. We see some rich folks coming out of the club.
They're doing just fine.
Real wains, walking through some dark alleys, coming out of the opera vibe. We see someone who could it be? Setting up a sniper rifle on a roof with a tough commander talking over her shoulder. This threw me a lot because voice actor of this guy is like the briefing voice in Medal of Honor, which was the first video game I played.
So it was truly, like, hardcoded.
A long lost uncle just popping up this anime to be like, yes, I.
Do other things as well.
You've only known me from that one property but I do this too.
But he's like, you don't need a.
Scope for the sniper rifle. That won't be helpful for your Specialized specialize, my brand. And the rich woman sees someone sort of stumbling in the alley. She's like, oh, dear, shall we help her? And he's like, oh, dottie, we have to meet up with our friend.
Don't associate with the homeless, dottie.
I mean, she's like, pretty, but she's dirty.
She's not much to look at.
I wrote it down because I want to use it for my next tinder profile. He says, a bit filthy, but not hard on the eyes, which great line.
I'm going to introduce you as that to people you don't know at our wedding.
Yes, wonderful.
Perfect. So he's like, oh, don't worry. She's not going to pop out of the dark and attack us. But she does, and we see it's. Victoria on the roof with a sniper rifle. She's being ordered to kill that woman. You know, the one attacking, not the rich one. Damn. But she just she can't take the shot. She doesn't have it in her. So the Commander orders someone else to in a different sniper shoots her. Mission success, even though Victoria failed. So we see a couple of scenes. These are interspersed with the next little bit, and talking about it bit by bit will be annoying. So I'll just say altogether. We hear a spooky kid show going on, and we see a door busted in on. There's blood everywhere and dead bodies and something child like. You assume there's, like, an actual kid involved, but no, we see just blood written on the walls, upside down crosses, sacrilegious phrases.
Very edgy.
What could this be? Some sort of vampire? So we see Victoria and the Commander go back, and we see the helsing base. The Commander is like, you know, you were hesitating out there. This isn't like your cushy old human military job. This is vampire military, so it's going to be tough. So she's brought into the barracks by the caretaker, Walter. His design is very similar to alucard I legit was like, are you in disguise from this person who already knows you?
But no.
And leads her to the basement, to the barracks, where she has her sunless chamber for the daylight hours. Don't go outside. Drink blood. Vampire rules.
Yeah. He's like, explaining all it to her. I'm like, shouldn't she know I feel like that's?
Yeah, give me the less common ones. What's that thing about dropping toothpicks? I got to know that she drops.
Running water without your coffin.
And she has a coffin four post bed. And she's like, oh, sick, cool.
Rad as hell.
But then she gets up and she sees two men enter, and she's, like, peeking around a corner and serende whatever the later woman's name was. Pointy Hair.
Pointy hair.
Yeah. Pointy Hair is like, oh, Victoria, don't eat those guys, you savage monster.
Thanks, mom.
You know, this has very early 2000s energy, where it's like, hey, we're establishing power dynamics. I'm just going to be downright shitty to you, insult you. Just so you know I'm in power. It's like, does it build anything for our relationship? No, because I'm going to be this shitty to you no matter what you do.
Shucks.
Never earn my respect.
So Alecart shows up and he's talking with pointy hair, and she's like, oh, your next mission. There are two vampires feeding all through Birmingham, you know, England and stuff.
BBC and whatnot.
Pip pip and a cheerio. So she's like, yeah, two vampires are going around killing, leaving very messy, desecrated corpses and houses. Go stop them. And we see Victoria looking at a bag of blood and she's like, oh, I can't do it. I know I'm a vampire. But being a vampire is evil. Right, genuine question here.
If we got turned into the vampires, would you hesitate?
No, I was going to say, whenever there's media like this, where it's like, no, I don't want to be a vampire, I can't do it, it's like you're a pussy. Especially if it's with someone that you're in love with or whatever, like eternal life with someone you love. And all you got to do is drink blood, which is going to taste good to you now. Zero qualms. Maybe that's bad, but that's how I feel.
It's not just some peasant, like, hanging off a meat hook, like dripping with his throat cut. It was a medical bag. Like donated or ice bucket.
Yeah, it's like wine.
You don't even have to drink it from a living creature, grip it and rip it like a capri Sun.
Respect the pouch. She did not respect the pouch.
She does not.
She smacked it.
Slap the bag is a different thing. That's more college. Sorry, I derailed quite hard.
No, I had to right respect the pouch. Because that's the media. We see these two vampires, they're on a moped, so immediately the heroes of the episode, they're playing chicken with a truck. They're really trying to be like these teenagers being disrespectful, but also their vampires. So we see them going into a victim's home. They're so horny for each other. It's a couple just like, I don't know, like 219 year olds who got turned into vampires. And it was truly a jump scare. They're like, only nine more to go to the hinted thing at. Well, it doesn't matter. And when you get so horny from killing, when a mommy vampire and a daddy vampire very much, they may drain the blood from some people and then just blow each other. Just give head over a corpse, man.
We don't even know if he reciprocated.
Given how much respect all these women are getting.
They got the suck and done earlier than it was time for the plowing. I fully didn't realize what was happening in the scene because I was so caught off. Guard by this guy's accent. I can't understand this man.
Yeah, truly. His accent flips into Boston sometimes. It is just a very bad trying to go cockney, but just way too far into just bad cockney to represent English is where it's at. What we've been doing all happened.
His first line of dialogue was just I heard like and it's like, what did you hello, sir.
Truly, I would not call this localization because it did not make it easier in my there's a bunch of unimportant bullshit going on here.
There sure is.
Yeah.
With the troops, Victoria gets handed also after the blowjob, they just shoot all the corpses. So it's just really like, hey, we're being badasses.
They're probably oh, no, they wouldn't have been listening to mcr because they wouldn't have been formed.
God, wait, how could there be emos in the time if mcr wasn't invented yet? The timeline does not add up. So Victoria is handed a big old rifle, and she's like, oh, that's going to be too heavy for little old me because I'm just a girl, remember? And they're like, no, but you're a vampire, so you're a strong girl now. Yeah. Then their unit is deployed. The vampires are chased by the police, and they shoot them while making out again on the mother on their moat.
Irresponsible driving.
Come on. Eyes on the road, love bugs.
Added to their list of offenses.
Murder.
Blood, blow jobs, being British pda.
So they shoot a cop car, make out because it made them so horny. And yeah, the units being sent ahead to blockade. So Alecard sees the scooter and he's like, special powers activate. Put them in a tunnel, I guess.
Illusion magic.
Yeah, because they're like driving through the woods. And then he's like, no, now it's my turn to mess with them. And then they're in a tunnel. So I'm like, did you teleport them or is this imaginary? I do not know. Does not matter. But same thing we saw last episode. He shows up and he's like, you're garbage. You're trash. You're the scum of the earth. Your dog shit underneath my booze. vampire's killing for the sake of killing. disgusting. And like last time, they shoot at him and he gets hit. And they're like, ha, we win, right? And then he's like, no, I laugh because I'm a vampire. I can't get shot. But you guys can't, so don't worry about it.
It's with his special gun, vampire bullets.
Which are like bb's. We get like a close up on the bullet itself. It's like a little dot.
It's weird, but yeah, but shoots back and kills the guy. And the girl runs away. And he's like, oh, police girl, don't fail me this time. And we see Victoria, same situation as the beginning. Has her sniper rifle. And she's like, oh, but she's just a girl. She's not a monster, right? And then the commander is like, no, use your special eyes and kill that girl. And she does it. She works up the nerve and shoots her, and she turns into dust. And she's like, oh, she was a monster all along. Yes. That wasn't a question.
It's a weird prank. Hey, we got the newbie to kill a civilian just for the fuck of it. We told her she was a vampire. Hilarious.
Just some light hazing. But yeah, alicia shows up, and he's like, you've done good, kid. But if you don't drink blood, you'll get weak, and that's an order. And she's like, yes, master. Because he fired her. So she responds to him. It's a power dynamic now and then. The episode is kink. Yes, daddy, that too.
Okay, so episode three, we open on a couple of guys in a bedroom. A pretty boy vampire is sitting over another guy who has blood dripping from his mouth. And he's like, I'm going to okay, later on, he has a terrible Italian accent, and I don't think he has an Italian accent in this scene.
I didn't realize they were the same characters until much after the fact.
Yeah, but he's like, I'll do it in Italian accent. Now he says, I can't do it. mama mia, I'm going to bite you, and we're going to be together forever.
This guy's got a bad British accent anyway. mama mia. God with a goopi.
No, he's Italian.
No, the previous guy.
Okay.
I'm just pointing out a hypocrisy of making fun of someone's badass.
I couldn't do one.
We aren't professional voice actors hired for a job. We're bullshitting here. mushroom Kingdom here.
We but bowser. Don't even get me started. Anyway, can't talk about it. I will lose it. That's the three Italian. Pretty boy vampire moves to bite the guy on the bed, but then some people bust in, and he's interrupted. dent scene changes. People are getting off of a train. A very tall man steps off he's in the opening, so he must be important. He's a priest.
He's a very tall priest. One could argue. A big daddy. No, a large father.
Large father. That's better. I think there are surgeons that work for Helsing. I don't know. Some surgeons are okay, this is confusing. Pretty boy vampire is on a table, and, like, surgeons are standing around him, and it seems like that's what pointy Hair and this old guy are watching, and I thought they were going to operate on him. And they say that they say that pretty boy died 72 hours ago but was still mobile 12 hours ago. And then they talk about how he was the son of a noble Italian family. And then we see them cut into the neck of the other guy, and they pull out like a microchip. So things are getting funky.
Someone got the vaccine.
Sheep. Just kidding. Get vaccinated.
We're all boosted, please. Yes.
So Pointy hare says that the chips are becoming a problem. Old guy wonders if they have anything to do with some increased vampire activity. The surgeons discuss whether to burn the remains of the Italian boy, but they can't because he's foreign. We see Victoria. She kind of stumbles into her room and says she's so tired. And she considers drinking the provided blood, but then flushes it down the toilet again.
It's in a blood bag, and she pours into a bowl and tries to eat it like soup. And it just really bothered me that she did that and she just fucking.
Out the bag, just slurp it like a fucking koolaid jammer.
Respect.
So she hears Al card's voice in her head, and he scolds her for not drinking it. He says she needs to drink it or she'll get weak. But she's like, I don't like hold on. I don't like not feeling human.
There you go.
Yeah, I can do accents, just not Italian.
We draw the line there. We have morals.
Then we get a weird cutaway of just the tall, big father, large father. He's walking down a busy street and then like a hooker says hi to him and then that's not politically correct anymore. I'm sorry I said that. A woman of the night. She nods at him or something, and he acknowledges her and she walks away. And that's it. It was a very strange scene. Pointy Hair is sitting in their office when alucard comes in, and they wonder about the difference between real vampires and the ones that are being created via these microchips. So we find out that someone's putting these microchips in humans and it makes them act like vampires. Their phone rings and they tell whoever's on the other line to send someone in. Then we hear a voice with an Italian accent saying that Mick was the only one who ever understood. He just wanted to be with him forever. Where did he go? It's, pretty boy. He's escaped his cubby in the morgue. And he has a gun now, so that's not good. So he's on a little bit of a little bit of a spree, wearing.
Bedsheets as like, a skirt and just being strapped with guns and nothing else. I'm going to say it's a good look mood.
Pointy hair is frustrated with the Vatican. Aren't we all?
I don't want to say.
Her phone rings again. We don't hear the conversation. Cut to Victoria in her room. She's looking at an old picture of her police squad when her phone rings. We see pointy hair walking with Walter. And she says that once someone is tainted by a microchip, they won't be the same. So I guess even if it gets taken out, I don't know.
There's an even micro chip that is left behind.
So Victoria's, helsing squad rolls out. Pointy Hair tells her butler to send Alucart as well. And she says, this is a protestant country. We won't let the Vatican run rampant. What Italian pretty boy is going on? A rampage in the hospital looking for his boyfriend. Victoria's squad rushes in. She sets up her gun. Pretty Boy has essentially made a small army with all the Ghouls he's created. Victoria hears him yell Mix name, and she tells her captain, and then she hears alucard in her head again, and he tells her to kill all of the Ghouls.
Take the shot.
Hold on. I can't tell if it's approaching the truck. Yeah, I heard it. It's not.
Even if you talk, we can't hear it.
I couldn't tell if it was coming. So Pretty Boy is approaching Victoria down the hallway, and as he does, the captain gets impaled from behind.
What?
Nanny Victoria then turns around and gets stabbed in the throat?
Boo.
It's large father and oh, shit. He's Scottish.
Great.
Very good. Scottish, right? Not someone who's heard Sean connery speak in passing.
I heard Mike meyer's performance in Shrek, even though that probably hadn't happened during this either.
2001.
When did shrek come out? So he rambles about putting Pretty Boy to rest with his sacred blade. Then he sets up to stab him, but then alucard just runs Pretty Boy through with just his hand. So why does he even need the gun? flair, I guess.
Show off.
And he tells the other guy that he shouldn't be here and says, Catholic derogatory.
It should always be set.
Yes. So Priest Guy says that his organization family, I don't know, they've been getting rid of vampires long before the Hell Singh organization. And he calls alucard an abomination. They stand off. alucard says something about, no. Why did I hold on.
Decoring our own notes is half the podcast.
Yeah. alucard says someone needs to put this guy in his place. They fight. Big Father stabs him, but he shoots him in the head. And you're like, okay. alucard shoots Big Father in the head. It's all over.
Brought a sword to a gunfight.
Yeah. And alucard says that the guy's blade actually hurt him because they're, like, blessed. And he walks over to Victoria, but Big Father is still alive. And he stabs alucard again with multiple blades. And alucard says, you're a human, regenerator. And then there's, like, vague lore about how some technology gave him this ability, and he, like, praises God for the technology. Thank you, God. Thank you, heavenly daddy. Thank you again.
You will be excommunicated from the church if you refer to God as heavenly daddy.
Jokes on you. I was never in a church. I wrote in my notes. They're saying stuff, but my brain can't comprehend it right now, and I feel like it doesn't really matter because they're just saying shit.
Yeah, not really. I don't remember.
Yeah. So then Pointy Hair shows up and says, that's enough. Stop fighting, boys. Big father's name is Alexander. She tells him that because Italian, Pretty Boy is dead, he has no more business here, because that's all he was here for, was to kill him. And they deliver a message saying that the archbishop wants him back at the Vatican. And he skulks off pointy hair, gets mad at alucard and Victoria for underperforming, and walks out. alucard tells veronica that's not her name. Victoria why did I put that? Victoria to drink his blood? Because it will free her from being under his control. So she'll, like, be able to make her own ghouls and she'll be her own vampire if she does that. And she moves forward to but doesn't do it. She doesn't feel ready to be her own vampire and all that shit. So yeah. And that's the end of episode three.
Have we seen any reason why it's bad that she's his thrall while she's under his control? Because it's only been three episodes and they have almost never interacted. So I was kind of surprised where it's like, you're free to leave the nest now, little bird. Go be your own vampire and cause chaos. Why?
Because I don't know. All he's doing is talking to her in her brain.
He's just saying, like, hey, you should eat food. You're going to die.
No, it would be to her benefit if she wants him to stop talking.
Clearly, you're not listening to me. Let's just cut this phone tie we have because why bother even having it then?
You're wasting my vampire minutes.
I'm still on an old data plan from the 17th century.
Because you.
Are hollow weeb there yet.
That was a mountful, Brendan. When you said you hadn't watched the show, I was surprised because this is a very Brendan show.
Yeah.
We all know how I feel about those.
Wow.
Yeah. This is too dated. The dub, while delicious at times, again translated into English. I'm criticizing it as I trip over the word English. I think I can finish that point. This is just a lot of moodiness and being edgy at each other. Not my typical cup of tea, but happy spooktober to everyone.
Happy spooktober. I thought it was fairly whatever I was I think I think for me, taking notes on episode three was difficult because they say a lot and nothing.
Yeah.
So I got bored having to take notes. But I do like alucard because we.
Do Got a daddy hymns, a little.
Sexy, and I like that a little bit. Vampires are fun. But yeah, it was it was fairly.
It'S it's a real 2001 anime, which is for sure. Yeah. I, too, am surprised. I haven't watched it up to this point. This is up there with a ghost Michelle, where I'm like, I just somehow just missed that tunami block for whatever reason, growing up. But if I got, like, two episodes into it, I'm sure I would have been hooked. It's fine. I got no real complaints. That can't be summarized with it other than saying, like, yeah, it's 2001. All right. Is it great? Do I see why it caught the attention of a lot of middle schoolers at that time. Absolutely.
I see a blowjob on screen.
Yeah. I mean, that would have caught my teenage attention. Will I continue to watch it? No. Do I think it's bad and like no, we've seen much worse. But, you know, it's I was surprised to see it's only 13 episodes, and of course, there's, you know, 2006 version and probably a couple of movies, but I'm surprised. I thought it had been a lot longer, but I think I'm mixing it up with Trinity Blood, which I think is also a heavy, weird Catholic vampire anime. I don't know. I also didn't watch that one. I mix those two a lot.
Yeah, the religious rivalry in episode three was very I mean, I can only assume it continues on if this guy's a main character, and that feels weird to me too. I don't want to watch an anime about that.
Well, whatever the cursed Catholic vampire show is, I'm sure we'll watch it next Halloween. And if there are other Halloween shows you want us to watch, it's a real mixed bag. So good luck. You can send those recommendations to our email arwibaria@gmail.com, or you can reach out to us on social media, Twitter, Instagram, Antiktok, at. Are we there yet on all three?
The bad accents in the show ruined our ability to speak. You can find me on Instagram. You can find me on Instagram and TikTok at honey. Period d or on Twitter at honey d eight and honey d art and honey is spelled H-U-N-N-I-E. Find me on.
Twitter at aBTS brendan. Don't use much with it, but you can also find me at England soon as I'm running for the next prime minister. I can do a British accent. I just don't want to right now.
Get a set record for an even shorter time in office. Thank you to camille ruley for artwork, and thank you to Louisong for a theme song stories. You can find all of louie's music. God.
Right there. You're at the end.
Come on.
Oh.
You can find all of Louis music@louisongcamp.com, gov? No, I can only say it in a bad British accent. Thank you for joining us, as always. We hope you'll join us next week as we learn to live with anime, don't we?
Cheerio, everybody.
I hate all of.