WEBVTT 00:00.000 --> 00:09.000 Hello everyone, and welcome back to "Mysteries of the Mind," a true crime podcast hosted by myself, Preston Knight-- --and me, 00:09.000 --> 00:10.000 Daphne St Clair. 00:10.000 --> 00:19.000 Today, we're continuing our deep dive into the story of "Doctor Love," a psychiatrist from a rural Philadelphia asylum in the 50s, who ran away with one of her patients. 00:19.000 --> 00:21.000 Our favorite detective here, 00:21.000 --> 00:28.000 Daphne, managed to get her hands on never before seen records, ones the asylum had attempted to bury. 00:28.000 --> 00:36.000 We're discussing Doctor Love, a.k.a. Doctor Burnett, and her patient-slash-lover Hazel, and how their relationship came to be. 00:36.000 --> 00:45.000 Last time on "Mysteries of the Mind," we covered Hazel's first mental health crisis under Doctor Burnett's care-- --and how Doctor Burnett helped her approach a new medication. 00:45.000 --> 00:50.000 Today, we go further into Hazel's psyche-- --and the relationship of Doctor Love. 00:50.000 --> 00:55.000 Stay tuned. (theme song begins) 01:05.000 --> 01:10.000 Maya Appavoo presents: Doctor Love. An audio drama. 01:10.000 --> 01:13.000 Episode Three: Med Review 01:13.000 --> 02:06.000 A full list of themes, topics, and content warnings can be found in the episode description. (footsteps fading out) (door closes, theme song ends) (Mindful Musings jingle) (Daphne and Preston laugh performatively) 02:06.000 --> 02:09.000 Switched it up a bit in the intro there, today. 02:09.000 --> 02:16.000 Um. Alright, so, we're going to kick things off with a little segment we like to call "Mindful Musings." 02:16.000 --> 02:21.000 We've gathered up some questions and comments from our listeners and supporters, and we'll answer them here. 02:21.000 --> 02:23.000 Yeah, let's just dive on in. 02:23.000 --> 02:35.000 Preston? Our first question is from Thomas, uh, one of our Patreon supporters. He asks, "Do we know exactly what happened to Hazel's husband?" 02:35.000 --> 02:37.000 Oh, that's a great question. 02:37.000 --> 02:46.000 Yeah, I-I did reach out to his family when I was first researching this case, and they declined to comment, buuuut I did manage to find some records. 02:47.000 --> 02:54.000 So Charles Edward Finley, born in February of 1920, married Hazel in 1940 at the age of 20. 02:54.000 --> 02:56.000 Hazel was 18 at the time. 02:56.000 --> 03:05.000 Shortly after they married, he had her institutionalized, citing “extreme hysteria” and “unfit to perform household duties”-- 03:05.000 --> 03:08.000 He must have been worried about her cooking if she was having outbursts. 03:08.000 --> 03:10.000 Oh! Maybe. 03:11.000 --> 03:15.000 Uh, anyway, shortly after that, he joined the military. 03:16.000 --> 03:17.000 Some of the research 03:17.000 --> 03:23.000 I did indicated that he felt very strongly about the war, so he didn't wait for the draft and just joined of his own volition. 03:23.000 --> 03:24.000 Interesting. 03:24.000 --> 03:28.000 He died in Germany in 1944, after being shot in the chest-- 03:28.000 --> 03:30.000 I mean, at least that's relatively quick.--- 03:30.000 --> 03:31.000 Oh, no no no, let me finish. 03:31.000 --> 03:36.000 He was shot in the chest, but didn't immediately die of his wounds. 03:36.000 --> 03:47.000 Instead, the medical reports indicate his lungs slowly filled with blood over the next day and a half, and he essentially drowned. (Preston chuckles, grossed out) In his own blood? 03:47.000 --> 03:48.000 Yep. Wow. 03:48.000 --> 03:52.000 What an interesting way to die, my god. 03:53.000 --> 03:57.000 Alright, our next question is from @arkady - 03:57.000 --> 04:03.000 I hope I'm saying that right - who asks, "What's the deal with Hazel's family? 04:03.000 --> 04:06.000 In the first episode, you guys established that she had no family. 04:07.000 --> 04:10.000 Uh, but in this episode, it seems like she did have family." Um... 04:10.000 --> 04:11.000 Right, yes, 04:11.000 --> 04:18.000 I can speak to this. Again, the family I could track down declined to comment, but from what I understand, 04:18.000 --> 04:21.000 Hazel's immediate family died in a car accident when she was 16. 04:22.000 --> 04:27.000 Hazel wasn't in the vehicle and survived, and was sent to live with her grandparents until she got married. 04:27.000 --> 04:32.000 Unfortunately, though, right after she got married to Charles Finley, her grandparents passed away, 04:32.000 --> 04:34.000 I believe of natural causes. 04:34.000 --> 04:42.000 Anyway, her only remaining family was an estranged aunt and uncle, and obviously they had kids, who had kids, and those are the only living relatives of Hazel's. 04:43.000 --> 04:46.000 That and, oh, well, obviously her, um, in-law’s family. 04:46.000 --> 04:48.000 But... you know. Oh, yeesh. 04:48.000 --> 04:48.000 You know, 04:48.000 --> 04:52.000 I wonder if her grandparents passing was, you know, what triggered the outburst 04:52.000 --> 04:54.000 Charles institutionalized her for. 04:54.000 --> 04:57.000 Yeah, I looked into that, but we don't have much of what 04:57.000 --> 05:02.000 Doctor Green had taken note of in those early years, so, yeah, it's hard to say for sure. 05:02.000 --> 05:04.000 Alright, and last question. 05:04.000 --> 05:16.000 This one is from Felix, uh, also one of our Patreon supporters, and he's curious to know, "What was the final consensus on Hazel's attachment style?" 05:17.000 --> 05:21.000 You know, I think this is a great question, Felix, and ultimately, 05:21.000 --> 05:30.000 I think it's up to you guys, you know? Like-- Mhmm, yeah. We do this for you, and, you know, and I'm here to give my thoughts and, you know, you know, expertise, 05:30.000 --> 05:31.000 I guess you could say. 05:31.000 --> 05:41.000 And what I really want is to ignite a spark within you guys, you know, to do your own research and come back with your own conclusions, and, you know, and discuss them with us. 05:41.000 --> 05:41.000 Yeah, 05:41.000 --> 05:43.000 Join our Discord server! 05:43.000 --> 05:44.000 It's been a hot topic this week. 05:44.000 --> 05:52.000 But yeah, you know, I'd say that we all come to our own conclusions and you know that I invite you to share your thoughts as well. 05:52.000 --> 05:56.000 Mhm. Well, that does it for this week's "Mindful Musings." 05:56.000 --> 06:05.000 Don't forget to drop your questions in our comments, on Discord, on Patreon, and maybe you'll get featured on an episode. (Daphne exhales) Okay, that ran a little longer than I think we meant to. 06:05.000 --> 06:09.000 Just a tad. (Daphne and Preston laugh) (Mindful Musings jingle plays) 06:14.000 --> 06:21.000 Well, we have a good amount of ground to cover today, so let me start by giving a little bit of recap-slash-context. (couch squeaking, clearing throat) 06:22.000 --> 06:24.000 So, as we heard last week, 06:24.000 --> 06:31.000 Hazel and Doctor Burnout were starting to get close, to the point where Hazel trusted her enough to allow Doctor Burnout to put her on antidepressants. 06:32.000 --> 06:42.000 Today, we'll hear session recordings that go over Hazel's journey with antidepressants, but more importantly, her and Doctor Burnout starting to get more personal in those sessions. 06:42.000 --> 06:56.000 You know, I'm curious to see how, like, in the exploration of new meds, like, how Doctor Burnett and Hazel's relationship and that, you know, more-more personal side developing, you know, how that affected Hazel's mental health. 06:56.000 --> 07:00.000 And I feel like this is when we really start to see the start of their romance. 07:00.000 --> 07:05.000 Not just feelings, but actual pursuit of each other. 07:06.000 --> 07:18.000 So, in this first clip, Hazel’s been on antidepressants for a couple of weeks, just for some context. (click) (Doctor Burnett exhales) How are you feeling today, Hazel? 07:20.000 --> 07:21.000 You look uncertain. 07:23.000 --> 07:24.000 I am. 07:25.000 --> 07:27.000 I don't know that I feel much of anything. 07:29.000 --> 07:30.000 Hmm. 07:30.000 --> 07:33.000 In comparison to how you felt last week...? 07:34.000 --> 07:39.000 I think last week I had more energy, and that was nice. 07:40.000 --> 07:44.000 It felt good to be able to take care of myself some more. 07:45.000 --> 07:52.000 But that grey mushy feeling didn't go away, and now I have energy but that's it. 07:53.000 --> 07:56.000 Do you have less energy this week compared to last week? 07:57.000 --> 08:02.000 I don't know, I... think I'm going through the motions, I-- 08:03.000 --> 08:05.000 I haven't thought too much about how I feel. 08:06.000 --> 08:06.000 Okay. 08:07.000 --> 08:14.000 Can we take a deep breath and see how we feel? (Hazel takes a deep breath) 08:15.000 --> 08:16.000 I don't know. 08:17.000 --> 08:18.000 I can't feel anything. 08:19.000 --> 08:21.000 I'm numb. 08:22.000 --> 08:25.000 I don't feel as awful as I did before, but... 08:27.000 --> 08:28.000 Is this it? 08:29.000 --> 08:30.000 Is what it? 08:31.000 --> 08:40.000 I can feel terrible or nothing at all? (Doctor Burnett stands and crosses the room) 08:40.000 --> 08:41.000 May I? 08:41.000 --> 08:45.000 Mm. (Doctor Burnett sits on Hazel’s bed) 08:46.000 --> 08:51.000 I didn't get out of bed for two weeks after my mom passed away. 08:52.000 --> 09:00.000 I was away, doing my residency, and I hadn't gotten to say goodbye, and I was (deep breath) just destroyed by it. 09:01.000 --> 09:04.000 I'm sorry. (exhaling) Thank you, Hazel. 09:06.000 --> 09:08.000 After those first couple weeks, 09:08.000 --> 09:10.000 I had to get back to things. 09:10.000 --> 09:14.000 Going to work, attending lectures, socializing. 09:14.000 --> 09:17.000 And I don't remember much from that next month. 09:17.000 --> 09:19.000 I was completely numb. 09:20.000 --> 09:23.000 I remember attending a seminar on dissociation. 09:24.000 --> 09:29.000 That numbness, feeling like you're a ghost, floating from room to room. 09:29.000 --> 09:30.000 Hmm. 09:31.000 --> 09:38.000 Medically speaking, the leading theory is it's a weakness, inherent to the person experiencing it. 09:38.000 --> 09:39.000 But can I tell you what I think? 09:40.000 --> 09:41.000 Sure. 09:42.000 --> 09:48.000 I think we dissociate when we need to protect ourselves from our reality. 09:48.000 --> 09:54.000 I think I couldn't yet exist in a world without my mother, and so I did whatever I could to cope. 09:55.000 --> 10:09.000 And I think you're struggling to adjust to a new medication, and are doing whatever you can to transition slowly between feeling terrible all the time to feeling joyful and energized and good. 10:10.000 --> 10:12.000 Can I hug you? 10:12.000 --> 10:13.000 Again? 10:14.000 --> 10:28.000 Of course, Hazel. (Doctor Burnett scoots closer, and they hug) (click) (Preston clears his throat) Whew. 10:28.000 --> 10:30.000 Alrighty, welcome back, guys. 10:30.000 --> 10:34.000 Uh, I think that clip was fascinating, you know, that was just-- Oh, I agree, 10:34.000 --> 10:37.000 I think this stage of their relationship is so cute. 10:38.000 --> 10:43.000 Um, oh, I mean, God, Hazel asking for the hug and Doctor Burnett sharing something personal-- 10:43.000 --> 10:47.000 Oh, I actually have a journal entry of Hazel's 10:47.000 --> 10:49.000 I'd like to read out for you. (Preston sighs) 10:49.000 --> 10:56.000 Okay. (Daphne flips through paper) Ahem. "These last few sessions with Doctor Burnett have been really insightful. 10:56.000 --> 11:00.000 I'm so thankful to have someone like her taking care of me. 11:00.000 --> 11:08.000 She's been going so above and beyond, as usual, but even doing things she's technically not supposed to do, like sharing personal details and hugging me. 11:08.000 --> 11:11.000 It helps make those sessions more comfortable, 11:11.000 --> 11:14.000 I found it so hard to talk to someone who I didn't know anything about. 11:14.000 --> 11:15.000 Now I feel like 11:15.000 --> 11:17.000 I know who Doctor Burnett is. 11:17.000 --> 11:21.000 It makes it so much easier to talk about my hysteria and insanity. 11:21.000 --> 11:23.000 I trust her, and 11:23.000 --> 11:26.000 I believe that is helping me far more than any pill." 11:27.000 --> 11:27.000 Aw. 11:27.000 --> 11:28.000 Okay, 11:28.000 --> 11:29.000 I have some thoughts. 11:29.000 --> 11:30.000 Of course. 11:30.000 --> 11:34.000 Okay, there's-there's certainly some medical guidelines being crossed. 11:34.000 --> 11:34.000 You know, 11:34.000 --> 11:46.000 I-I-I don't know the specifics of what the code of ethics was for doctors in the 50s, uh, but we know for sure that Doctor Burnett wasn't supposed to get too personal or affectionate with Hazel. 11:46.000 --> 11:53.000 Yes, and? Well, I mean, those guidelines exist to prevent like, like, issues, you know? What issues are they preventing? 11:53.000 --> 11:57.000 Hazel literally says that she thinks they're barriers to getting good care. 11:57.000 --> 12:01.000 Okay, I don't know how reliable a narrator the asylum patient is-- Preston-- 12:01.000 --> 12:10.000 What I'm saying is that I think Doctor Burnett is, at this point, you know, starting to let her feelings for Hazel get in the way of treating her as a patient. 12:11.000 --> 12:14.000 You know, there's something so interesting here about Doctor Burnett's psyche-- 12:14.000 --> 12:16.000 I thought you wanted to talk about Hazel's psyche. 12:16.000 --> 12:25.000 No, I do, but Doctor Burnett is a big part of this sto-- case, you know, and-and, you know, I think Doctor Burnett's intentions have always been more complex. 12:25.000 --> 12:26.000 You know, 12:26.000 --> 12:33.000 I think Hazel was a puzzle, then a prize-- you know, not to say that, Doctor Burnett didn't care, but there's something interesting 12:33.000 --> 12:38.000 I want to dig into about how Doctor Burnett felt and thought about Hazel. 12:38.000 --> 12:42.000 Hm. Well, I guess we can discuss that later. 12:42.000 --> 12:45.000 For now, here's a clip from a few weeks later. 12:45.000 --> 12:47.000 At this point, they've transitioned 12:47.000 --> 12:54.000 Hazel off her first antidepressants, and she's a couple weeks into her trial of the new ones. (click) 12:55.000 --> 12:56.000 So today, Hazel, 12:57.000 --> 13:00.000 I wanted to discuss your life on a broader scale. 13:00.000 --> 13:09.000 We've talked about specific events or feelings, but I want to talk more about goals, or regrets, things of that nature. 13:09.000 --> 13:14.000 Get a broader picture of things, so that maybe we can help you start working towards some ambitions. 13:17.000 --> 13:21.000 Um... alright. 13:21.000 --> 13:25.000 Are there any goals or milestones you feel you've missed out on? 13:27.000 --> 13:39.000 Do you, um, do you... do you mean because of my... my illness or because I'm, um, here? 13:40.000 --> 13:41.000 Either or. 13:42.000 --> 13:47.000 Well, it's... just sometimes I am... 13:47.000 --> 13:56.000 I think that perhaps no one would want me when I get-- if-- if I get out of here. 13:57.000 --> 13:59.000 What do you mean by that? 14:01.000 --> 14:01.000 When I was widowed, 14:01.000 --> 14:05.000 I was... how old was I? 14:06.000 --> 14:09.000 Well, young enough to have remarried, then, 14:09.000 --> 14:14.000 I suppose. But now I'm just a spinster. 14:14.000 --> 14:16.000 You're still very youthful. 14:17.000 --> 14:21.000 No, nobody marries a crazy 28-year-old. 14:21.000 --> 14:23.000 You're not crazy, Hazel. 14:24.000 --> 14:26.000 Maybe. 14:27.000 --> 14:29.000 Why do you feel you've missed out on remarrying? 14:30.000 --> 14:32.000 Companionship, mostly. 14:33.000 --> 14:35.000 Someone to grow old beside. 14:35.000 --> 14:38.000 Do you feel you've missed out on having children? 14:40.000 --> 14:41.000 I, um, 14:42.000 --> 14:45.000 I've never really wanted children. 14:45.000 --> 14:55.000 Children are lovely, but they're loud, and sticky, and they want to pull your hair and bite your ankles. 14:57.000 --> 15:04.000 All the laundry, and dishes, and sweeping, and tidying... it's enough to clean up after one man. 15:05.000 --> 15:07.000 Hm. I agree. 15:07.000 --> 15:09.000 You do? Of course. 15:09.000 --> 15:13.000 A woman's place in the household is... an unpleasant thought. 15:14.000 --> 15:16.000 That's why I sought out an education. 15:17.000 --> 15:25.000 Doctor Green thought I was... what did he say... belligerent or something, when I told him I did not want children. 15:26.000 --> 15:33.000 With all respect to Doctor Green, men do not forfeit their identities when they have children. 15:33.000 --> 15:38.000 They still go out to work, get called by their first name, have normal conversations. 15:38.000 --> 15:43.000 Women stay home and play pretend cooking, and then stand up and do all the actual cooking. 15:46.000 --> 15:50.000 I always hated the idea of being called "Mom." 15:50.000 --> 15:53.000 My name is Audrey, not "Mom." 15:54.000 --> 15:57.000 I've never wanted to feel like all I am is the mother to children. 15:58.000 --> 16:00.000 Audrey's a beautiful name. 16:00.000 --> 16:07.000 Thank you. Hazel. (click) (Preston inhales) Hoo, boy, mmm. 16:07.000 --> 16:09.000 Go ahead. 16:09.000 --> 16:11.000 I think these sessions are getting really, really personal. 16:12.000 --> 16:12.000 I agree. 16:12.000 --> 16:19.000 You know, Doctor Burnett is talking at length about her beliefs about children and staying at home-- 16:19.000 --> 16:20.000 I'd argue that she's validating 16:20.000 --> 16:22.000 Hazel's experience. 16:22.000 --> 16:26.000 You know, she's not validating, she's empathizing. 16:26.000 --> 16:33.000 You know, which, you know, is typically a good thing, but I think in this scenario, it's hindering Hazel's recovery. 16:33.000 --> 16:35.000 How so? 16:35.000 --> 16:39.000 Well, I mean, how is talking about marriage and kids helping her depression? 16:39.000 --> 16:41.000 It's not. But what's helping-- Exactly, 16:41.000 --> 16:45.000 I just think we're seeing her lose-- What's helping Hazel is developing a personal connection. 16:45.000 --> 16:50.000 We know she has trouble socializing, and we know she's been basically in isolation for a decade. 16:50.000 --> 16:57.000 Like, a conversation isn't treating her depression, it's treating her loneliness, which, you know, for all we know, could be a major source of depression. 16:57.000 --> 16:59.000 I just think we're seeing her lose momentum. 16:59.000 --> 17:03.000 You know, you can hear how out of it Hazel is in that clip. 17:03.000 --> 17:06.000 You know, she-she's-she takes long pauses to try and find the words. 17:06.000 --> 17:08.000 I think she's mentally very out if it. 17:08.000 --> 17:10.000 And as Doctor Burnett engages her more, 17:10.000 --> 17:19.000 Hazel seems more grounded, doesn't she? (Preston sighs) Sure. (exhaling) This next clip is from a couple months later. 17:19.000 --> 17:43.000 Now, Doctor Burnett's notes here show that Hazel had been taken off the meds she was on in the last clip, and this session took place during her first week on new meds. (click) (Hazel hums) (Doctor Burnett sets up) 17:44.000 --> 17:48.000 You look like you're feeling peppy today, Hazel. (giggling) Peppy? 17:48.000 --> 17:49.000 Peppy. 17:49.000 --> 17:51.000 I do feel better. 17:51.000 --> 17:53.000 Clearer, right now. 17:53.000 --> 17:55.000 That's good. (Doctor Burnett takes a note) 17:55.000 --> 17:56.000 I've been reading that book you gave me. 17:57.000 --> 17:59.000 Oh, what do you think so far? 17:59.000 --> 18:01.000 I'm really fascinated by it, 18:01.000 --> 18:02.000 Audrey. 18:02.000 --> 18:03.000 I'm so glad. 18:03.000 --> 18:06.000 I'm at the part where the sister's planning to run away. 18:07.000 --> 18:11.000 I think the relationship between the two siblings is so interesting. 18:11.000 --> 18:14.000 It reminds me of what Charles was like with his sister. 18:15.000 --> 18:16.000 The siblings are very sweet. 18:17.000 --> 18:26.000 When I was younger, my sister and I used to sneak out in the middle of the night together to play by this creek that ran through our neighborhood. (Doctor Burnett chuckles) 18:26.000 --> 18:27.000 Once, 18:27.000 --> 18:34.000 Mary slipped on the mud and fell into the river, and in the dark, we couldn't see just how much dirt she'd gotten on herself. 18:34.000 --> 18:43.000 We snuck back into the house that night and left these huge, muddy footprints all the way from the back door to our room. (they chuckle) 18:43.000 --> 18:49.000 Our mother was furious, but our father told her that she should be glad her girls weren't sneaky enough to not be caught. 18:51.000 --> 18:53.000 We never told them we'd snuck out before. 18:53.000 --> 18:57.000 They thought they caught us the only time that happened. (they chuckle) 18:58.000 --> 19:00.000 I used to sneak out when it was raining at night. 19:01.000 --> 19:12.000 My mother liked to keep the house so warm when it was rainy, and I couldn't sleep with it so warm, so I'd climb out of my bedroom window and sleep on the deck. 19:12.000 --> 19:13.000 And you didn't get sick? 19:13.000 --> 19:16.000 Oh, no, Audrey, I did. (they giggle) 19:16.000 --> 19:21.000 I just preferred getting a cold to sweating through my nightshirt. (they laugh) (click) 19:22.000 --> 19:23.000 I really like these sessions. 19:23.000 --> 19:33.000 There's something so sweet and normal about them, when, god, Hazel has been in a situation that's been very harsh and isolating for so long. 19:33.000 --> 19:37.000 I mean, yeah, they're sweet, but are they actually helping Hazel? 19:37.000 --> 19:39.000 She's on antidepressants, isn't she? 19:40.000 --> 19:41.000 Listen to her, 19:41.000 --> 19:45.000 Preston, she's talking, laughing, reading, telling stories-- 19:45.000 --> 19:50.000 I just think that this isn't recovery, you know, it's just distraction. 19:50.000 --> 19:57.000 You know, anyone can laugh if someone's being funny with them, you know, it doesn't mean she's magically better now. 19:57.000 --> 20:02.000 It's not magic, Preston, you can clearly tell that having more personal connections has been good for her. 20:02.000 --> 20:07.000 I think there's a more nuanced conversation to be had about this. 20:07.000 --> 20:08.000 What nuance? 20:08.000 --> 20:10.000 This is the beginning of their relationship. 20:11.000 --> 20:14.000 You can hear how interested they are in each other. 20:14.000 --> 20:15.000 Yeah, you sure can. 20:16.000 --> 20:25.000 I think that your concerns are valid, like, in other situations this might not be the best way forward for someone in Hazel's position, but in her situation, 20:25.000 --> 20:27.000 I think it helped her. 20:28.000 --> 20:29.000 Okay. 20:29.000 --> 20:32.000 I have one more clip to show you before we take a break here. 20:32.000 --> 20:35.000 This one is from 1952. 20:35.000 --> 20:41.000 We're skipping ahead a few months, but all you need to know is that there was a lot of Hazel coming on and off antidepressants in the meantime. 20:41.000 --> 20:54.000 And at the time of this clip, she was on week 3 or 4 of a new dose of antidepressants. (click) (Doctor Burnett sits, opens her notebook) 20:55.000 --> 20:56.000 Good morning, Hazel. 20:58.000 --> 20:59.000 Hmm. 20:59.000 --> 21:01.000 How are you feeling? 21:02.000 --> 21:08.000 I don't... know. (Doctor Burnett takes a note) 21:08.000 --> 21:12.000 Do you know what the date is today? 21:13.000 --> 21:14.000 February 14th. 21:15.000 --> 21:16.000 It is. 21:16.000 --> 21:20.000 I brought you a little something. (Doctor Burnett digs through her bag, hands something to Hazel) 21:20.000 --> 21:29.000 I figured it had been a while since someone brought you chocolates on Valentine's Day, so I smuggled those in from outside the asylum. 21:30.000 --> 21:32.000 Don't tell Nurse Amelia. 21:32.000 --> 21:34.000 Thank you. 21:35.000 --> 21:36.000 But, um, 21:37.000 --> 21:40.000 I think you'd appreciate them more than I will. 21:40.000 --> 21:42.000 What do you mean, Hazel? 21:42.000 --> 21:44.000 I don't have much of an appetite. 21:44.000 --> 21:47.000 No, no, hold on to those. 21:47.000 --> 21:48.000 They'll spoil. 21:48.000 --> 21:51.000 Let's talk through this for a moment first. 21:51.000 --> 21:57.000 I can take the chocolates back if you really don't want them, but I want to make sure that's the case. 21:57.000 --> 21:59.000 I really appreciate the gesture, 21:59.000 --> 22:01.000 Audrey. This is very kind of you. 22:02.000 --> 22:07.000 And I know you're risking your reputation by smuggling in sweets for me. 22:07.000 --> 22:08.000 But I... 22:08.000 --> 22:10.000 Yes, Hazel? 22:10.000 --> 22:12.000 I don't know how to describe it. 22:13.000 --> 22:15.000 I feel empty. 22:15.000 --> 22:17.000 As in depressed? 22:17.000 --> 22:19.000 No, I don't feel depressed. 22:20.000 --> 22:22.000 I don't feel much at all right now. 22:23.000 --> 22:25.000 I haven't cried in a couple weeks. 22:27.000 --> 22:33.000 I don't think I've laughed either. (Doctor Burnett takes notes) 22:34.000 --> 22:35.000 I'll be honest, Hazel, 22:35.000 --> 22:38.000 I don't have any other antidepressants 22:38.000 --> 22:39.000 I can try with you. 22:39.000 --> 22:41.000 We've gone through the full list. 22:42.000 --> 22:47.000 Oh. Do you want to try to stick these out a couple more weeks? 22:48.000 --> 22:53.000 Or would you like to call it off, and try another treatment altogether? 22:54.000 --> 22:55.000 I don't want to disappoint you. 22:56.000 --> 22:58.000 Why would I be disappointed? 22:58.000 --> 23:00.000 Because I didn't-- 23:00.000 --> 23:01.000 I failed-- 23:01.000 --> 23:04.000 I-- The meds didn't help you. 23:04.000 --> 23:07.000 It's not your fault, it's just your biology. 23:08.000 --> 23:10.000 I should have suspected they wouldn't work. 23:10.000 --> 23:12.000 Why? 23:12.000 --> 23:15.000 I'm not sure you have depression, Hazel. 23:15.000 --> 23:20.000 You've displayed symptoms that are indicative of schizophrenia, but we've ruled that out. 23:21.000 --> 23:23.000 Antidepressants didn't do much at all for you. 23:24.000 --> 23:33.000 I think I'll have to do some reading and see if we can come up with another theory to test. (Hazel sighs) It'll be okay, Hazel. 23:34.000 --> 23:37.000 Antidepressants weren't for you, that's all. 23:37.000 --> 23:40.000 And I promised you I'd take you off meds that didn't help. 23:40.000 --> 23:42.000 So that's what we'll do, okay? 23:42.000 --> 23:44.000 No more antidepressants. 23:45.000 --> 23:47.000 Alright. 23:47.000 --> 23:55.000 Thank you. (Preston clears his throat) Alrighty, welcome back. 23:56.000 --> 23:59.000 Daphne, I assume you have more to share. 23:59.000 --> 24:04.000 I have a journal entry of Doctor Burnett's from about two weeks after their Valentine's Day session. 24:05.000 --> 24:12.000 Shall I? Go ahead. (page flipping) "Hazel's been weaned off her antidepressants. 24:12.000 --> 24:19.000 She reports feeling more like herself, and is having an easier time engaging in activities, such as walks around the courtyard with Nurse Amelia. 24:19.000 --> 24:25.000 I've noticed she's been putting less effort into her outward appearance since she's been off the antidepressants. (page flip) 24:25.000 --> 24:30.000 Hazel's been wearing plain, comfortable clothing, and hasn't curled her hair or used her makeup. 24:30.000 --> 24:36.000 Hazel reports preferring to draw or paint with the time she would otherwise spend on her appearance." 24:36.000 --> 24:38.000 Oh, you know, so she's still depressed. 24:38.000 --> 24:39.000 What? 24:39.000 --> 24:42.000 I mean, that's a very common symptom of depression in women. 24:43.000 --> 24:49.000 You know, getting dolled up is a pretty time consuming task, you know, that requires a lot of focus-- 24:49.000 --> 24:54.000 That-that’s not-- and-and it tends to be one of the first routines to go during a depressive episode. 24:54.000 --> 24:59.000 Hazel's getting comfortable with Doctor Burnett, Preston, obviously. Up until this point, 24:59.000 --> 25:09.000 Hazel hasn't quite known if Doctor Burnett is in her corner, but when Doctor Burnett allowed her to go off her antidepressants, it proved to Hazel that Doctor Burnett isn't like Doctor Green, and now she can stop trying so hard. 25:09.000 --> 25:22.000 Okay, you wouldn't know this because you've never had a girlfriend, but women stop putting as much effort into their appearance when we're comfortable with someone. (Preston gasps in feigned offence) Are you shading me for not having a girlfriend? 25:22.000 --> 25:23.000 Yes. 25:23.000 --> 25:25.000 Daph, I'm gay. 25:25.000 --> 25:29.000 I mean, of course, I've never had a girlfriend. (Daphne and Preston laugh) 25:31.000 --> 25:33.000 Okay, my point stands. 25:34.000 --> 25:35.000 Onto the next clip? 25:36.000 --> 25:44.000 Sure, sure, yeah. (click) (Doctor Burnett sits, opens her notebook) So, how are you feeling today, Hazel? 25:44.000 --> 25:45.000 Better. 25:46.000 --> 25:47.000 I think the sunlight is helping. 25:48.000 --> 25:52.000 It was such a gloomy winter. (taking notes) It was. 25:52.000 --> 25:54.000 But you're feeling happier? 25:54.000 --> 25:55.000 More energetic? 25:55.000 --> 26:01.000 I don't know about happier, but certainly more energetic. (Doctor Burnett takes a note) 26:01.000 --> 26:03.000 I've gotten back into the art supplies. 26:03.000 --> 26:04.000 And how have you been finding that? 26:05.000 --> 26:06.000 Good. 26:06.000 --> 26:11.000 I'm not painting or drawing much, really, just the sunrise or that family of ducks from the courtyard. 26:12.000 --> 26:19.000 But it's something to do with my hands. (Hazel opens her sketchbook and tears out a page) 26:19.000 --> 26:21.000 I wanted you to have this one, actually. 26:22.000 --> 26:25.000 I did it the first morning I didn't have to take any pills. 26:26.000 --> 26:28.000 The sunrise was especially pink. 26:29.000 --> 26:32.000 This is beautiful, Hazel. 26:32.000 --> 26:34.000 Thank you. 26:34.000 --> 26:44.000 I just wanted to show you my appreciation, and I obviously can't run to the store and buy you flowers, so... Appreciation? 26:44.000 --> 26:45.000 For what? 26:46.000 --> 26:53.000 I've never had a doctor take me seriously before, much less take my opinions and feelings into consideration. 26:53.000 --> 26:55.000 This was the first time 26:55.000 --> 26:56.000 I've had a say in my treatment. 26:57.000 --> 27:01.000 And even though the antidepressants didn't work for me, 27:02.000 --> 27:04.000 I found myself glad to have tried them. 27:05.000 --> 27:07.000 And that's thanks to you, 27:07.000 --> 27:15.000 Audrey. (Doctor Burnett crosses the room and sits on Hazel’s bed) 27:16.000 --> 27:20.000 I'm very happy to know you, Hazel, do you know that? 27:20.000 --> 27:23.000 Of course, there's no scenario in which 27:23.000 --> 27:25.000 I wouldn't allow you a say in your care, but 27:26.000 --> 27:27.000 I want you to be happy. 27:29.000 --> 27:31.000 Seeing you smile makes me smile. 27:32.000 --> 27:34.000 I'm happy I know you, too. 27:34.000 --> 27:52.000 Not just because you've been taking good care of me, but seeing you smile makes me smile, too. (they lean closer to each other and kiss) (Hazel sighs happily) (click) 27:54.000 --> 27:56.000 Preston? 27:56.000 --> 27:57.000 Okay, uh, yeah, 27:57.000 --> 27:59.000 I'm-I'm thinking my thoughts. 27:59.000 --> 28:01.000 Um, yeah. 28:01.000 --> 28:04.000 I'm just trying to find the words. 28:05.000 --> 28:06.000 Okay, then I'll start. 28:06.000 --> 28:09.000 I think that this moment between them is, like, insufferably cute. 28:09.000 --> 28:13.000 But I also think that given the time period, there had to be ways, like, for people to queer flag. 28:13.000 --> 28:18.000 You couldn't ask someone if they were queer because being queer was, like, basically illegal. 28:18.000 --> 28:26.000 So the fact that Doctor Burnett and Hazel used the idea of making each other smile as queer flagging is so sweet, but also so profound and meaningful. 28:26.000 --> 28:29.000 Queer joy just, ugh, it makes me feel so many things. 28:30.000 --> 28:36.000 Hmm. Yeah, you know, I think there's something interesting in the way that they're queer flagging, you know, for sure. 28:36.000 --> 28:50.000 But I want to maybe dig in, you know, deeper, if we can, next episode, into some of the personal-versus-professional dynamics happening, you know, here, and you know, how maybe that's impacting Hazel. 28:50.000 --> 28:53.000 Um, for sure. Sure, yeah, we can talk about that next episode. 28:53.000 --> 29:05.000 Yeah, because, you know, of course we'll- we'll have to see what happened, you know, after that kiss, because, you know, there could be some very serious consequences for that, especially for Hazel. 29:05.000 --> 29:06.000 Well, we know how it ends. 29:07.000 --> 29:07.000 Hm, yeah. 29:07.000 --> 29:09.000 Well, I'm curious to see how this develops. 29:10.000 --> 29:12.000 And on that note we'll wrap up today's episode here. 29:12.000 --> 29:21.000 Yes, join us again next week here on "Mysteries of the Mind," as we get deeper into the affair of Doctor Love and her patient-- 29:21.000 --> 29:22.000 Exclusively with us! 29:23.000 --> 29:25.000 I'm Daphne St. Clair, our hopeless romantic-- 29:25.000 --> 29:27.000 And I'm Preston Knight, our psychology nerd. 29:28.000 --> 29:29.000 Thanks for tuning in. 29:29.000 --> 29:37.000 We'll see you next week. Bye! (theme song begins) 29:45.000 --> 29:50.000 Doctor Love is written and directed by Maya Appavoo and produced by Maya Appavoo and Monica Gate. 29:50.000 --> 29:53.000 Starring the voice acting talents of Madeline Harsh as Daphne, 29:53.000 --> 29:55.000 Jacob Martin as Preston, 29:55.000 --> 29:58.000 Abby McDougall as Doctor Burnett, and Emily Lizotte as Hazel. 29:59.000 --> 30:02.000 Post-production management by Monica Gate. 30:02.000 --> 30:06.000 Sound design for this episode by Ken Kosowick, and music by Ken Kosowick. 30:06.000 --> 30:15.000 The full list of credits and disclaimers can be found in the episode description, or on our website: appoova.ca/portfolio/doctorlove. 30:16.000 --> 30:20.000 Follow us on social media! We are @doctorlovepod on everything. 30:21.000 --> 30:24.000 Doctor Love is supported by the Edmonton Arts Council, and the City of Edmonton. 30:25.000 --> 30:35.000 Thank you for listening. (footsteps fading out) (door closes, theme song ends)