Hello and welcome. Are we there yet? In exploration and education and anime? I'm your anime idiot, patrick dugan.
I'm an anime expert, dana hollander.
And I'm brenton lacola. Your anime ever diminishing arctic Wildlife Beef trow.
Oh, things are getting dire.
Yeah. The amazon's on fire. It's great.
Anyway, here's some cute animals. What a what a great, positive way.
To start this episode.
I'm in a great mood.
Reminder that the world is burning. We're all happy. everything's cool.
Yeah.
Fascism isn't real.
Yeah.
It's just a scary bedtime story.
Yeah.
Okay.
Cute animals. I'm glad I picked this show because I needed this after this week.
Yeah. So what what do we have going on? Brendan?
We're watching Polar Bear Cafe. I don't know anything else. I'm assuming it's animals running a cafe and I'm on board. It's all I got.
Yeah, just from the research, it looks adorable. And, God, I hope it sounds perfect.
Sounds like the perfect content ever.
The palate.
It's all about their existential direction.
Episode seven takes a hard turn. Polar bears an alcoholic.
No.
So, yeah. Brendan, you said you know nothing about it. dana, do you know anything about this?
No, but I'm excited about it. I love bears.
We know. We met Paul.
Well, yes, but also, actually, both of us really like bears. Like Palmton and winnie the poo. We love them.
Understandable? They're like bigger dogs.
Yeah, it's their friendly.
That's my dream. I just want to hang out with a bear just to get a big old bear hug. Literally. This is my dream.
You see those videos of people in Russia who found, like, a bear cove and raised it so it's friendly around them. It's like, I know it could kill me, but that might be worth the rest.
That's like the documentary about that guy. What's his name? What is it? grizzly man.
Grizzly.
Yeah.
By bears.
Yeah, it went well for him for a long bad ending.
He picked the wrong answer in the bear dating SIM and got mauled by bears. Bad ending.
Hopefully we don't have a bad ending with this bear central.
Hopefully we'll just cut to the chase because we don't know anything about it. So let's explore. waiter. waiter, can I have the first three episodes, please?
Love that.
I didn't bring the cash. Can we split a card?
We should have told them earlier.
I only had episode three.
Oh, God.
I didn't I only got an appetizer. I don't want to I don't want to split the bill evenly.
Are you implying I ordered the most? Wow. You're probably right.
It's so cute.
This is perfect. Perfect media, perfect anime.
It's good that it's a cafe, because it's a good, like, palate cleanser. It's like a nice green tea parfait, and it's just like this is nice.
It's pleasant.
It's not overbearing at all.
Over bearing overbearing.
It's not over penguining at all. I'm mostly glad I picked this show because it's just so out of my wheelhouse.
It's nice to see dana vibes written all over.
So let's get into it. Episode one. Once again, we get the rare opening. I say once again, and also rare contradicting myself. Immediately we get the opening right away of the theme song. And it's just the penguin, polar bear and panda driving around a little car, and they go into, like, a big penguin sled. And then they're in a big polar bear plane and just flying around and having fun at good old time while it's like a K Pop boy band music playing. And they're singing about, like, pancakes and, like, mango smoothies. I don't know. There wasn't some type of song but a mango shake. You could pick out a random English word every day.
Shakes his butt.
Do you like polar bear torquing? This is the anime. This is your show.
Not like that.
He's a little shimmy. And we open up on panda's house. Pandas there chilling, eating bamboo as pandas do their thing. And panda's mom walks in. It's cleaning around the house. She's wearing a nice little dress, and she's got a vacuum and just sucking up all the dust. And panda just there like, oh, man. One of us great about relaxing and eating food. The food and the relaxing part, the whole thing. I love it. It's my entire aesthetic. I love just eating and doing nothing. It's like pandas the most useless animal.
But they're adorable, perfect, round, symmetrical.
The round. Oh. I also noticed with the show as by the title, it's clear the penguin, polar bear and panda are main characters. But the panda and penguin don't have eyes. I thought that was an interesting choice. And they're still very expressive. Panda is easier because it's got the black fur around where the eyes would be. But I noticed, like, penguin, when zoomed in a few times, no eyes. It's kind of like that's shit. Interesting choice.
Even notice.
What does that say about me?
You're just enjoying it. It's true. They're still very expressive. Like, you don't even really think about it.
Yeah, I guess because they're animals, so it's not like we're connected with a human face, so we don't have to look into the eyes. You can just stare. I don't know where else you would stare at the beak. Is that offensive?
Beak. Anyway, panda.
It's a beak of the panda. Of course.
It's the peak of the panda.
Jesus. And the mom starts kicking the panda around, saying, like, you're lazy. You got to go out, and you got no future plans. You got no goals. You got nothing going out there and, like, do something. So we see panda out walking around, going to the convenience store and buying some snacks. And I guess in the convenience store, they have job posting, like magazines, it seems like. And it's just like the help wanted pages, kind of. So the panda picks up a few of those and takes some cashier. It's like, hey, which one of these has a job where I don't have to do anything? You're just kind of like, none. None of them. It's what a job is.
You got to work at a job.
Hate to bring it to you. That's what work is. It's in the name work. So Panda buys a bunch of snacks, goes home, takes the help wanted magazines with them, and starts looking for jobs and calling around. It's like, oh, can I be a graphic designer? Sure. Do you have any previous skills? He's like, no. It's like, can you use a computer net mouse? No, not at all. We're going to keep looking.
Sorry, champ.
And I like, the next one panda calls somebody, and it's like, I want to be the interior designer.
Cool.
And Panda goes, what's an interior designer? And they hang up immediately. So panda's got no skills and no knowledge about nothing.
Quite naive.
Comes in again, quite naive. Sees Panda loaf around again. What are you doing? I thought you're going to get a job. He's like, I tried. sucked.
I made two phone calls. I am wiped.
I can't do it.
I can't be bothered. It's too much for my frail frame of a massive panda. And so the mom starts to kind of like, not hitting with the vacuum, but kind of sucking them all with the vacuum. Like, are you lazy, good for nothing sort of like mentality. And he's just like, I'm getting the big suck.
No.
I almost took a note that said his mom gives him the suck.
Yeah, I don't like because there's a line.
No, there's a line later where it's like, I'm scared to go home because she's going to suck me again. I was just like, that lock.
Panda.
Panda police had a field day.
They were going nuts.
Mama, no. Stop giving me this. I'm so sorry.
Going to leave a little edit point there so we can cut that line.
Bro, what are you?
So the fan goes back out job hunting again, or just in general? Just going back out my pants. I see a butterfly with the string tied. So yeah, let me help you. There a little butterfly. It takes off. And then we get a little montage of the panda just chasing butterfly around town. You run through, like, a little tunnel and stuff and going all over the place and stumbles into the Polar Bear cafe. It's fake middle of the woods. It's it's the fantasy realm where you just get transported to a magical land dead. It's this beautiful cafe. The panda actually chased the butterfly into the stream, got hit by a bus.
Oh, my. End of the series is just it pans out, and pandas just in the middle of the road.
The whole time.
Oops English Pandas, played by Bruce willis. Wow, that's a big get.
Weird.
Interesting choice. And so as the panda arrives at the cafe, the butterfly lands down. The Polar Bear walks by with the tray of drinks the butterfly lands on. The polar bear, helps untie the butterfly, and it takes back off pan's like, oh, what is this wonderful place? Oh, this is the Polar Bear cafe. I'm Polar Bear. The titular Polar Bear.
Care for a cafe?
So Panda ends up grabbing a table and sits down. He's looking over at the menu. He's like, yeah, what can I get? He's like bamboo. We don't have that. It's like, what about bamboo grass? It's like still no bamboo. He's like, It'd be pretty cool if you had bamboo. Yeah, we don't know. I'll just get a nice coffee then bamboo is all to eat. He's a panda. Get it? And then after Panda gets ice coffee, we cut to Mr. Penguin. He's asking Polar Bear about like, hey, do you ever get too many of those point cards from different places? Just like, real cash. Hey, I'm Mr. Penguin. Here's my stick. It's just like, hey, man, do you get, like, a bunch of shit in your wallet that just builds up and you're just like, what do I do with this?
Deeply relatable.
Yeah, it's just so mundane. But that's the intro to these characters. It's like, this is kind of great. And then Mr. Penguin is just like, oh, let me get another. Give me another drink. Only get seconds. And Paul Richard just kind of driving seconds. He say, did you mean this? Or what about this? Or how about this? And they're all just Japanese puns on the word seconds. Love that every time the word play, it's so good. And the penguins just like, no, I want seconds. No, I just want another. No, just another train. He's like, Your ponds are killing me. I think he says, like, if it wasn't for these ponds and it trails off.
Penguins usual is the cafe mocha. I love it.
It's got an exquisite palette for your fine.
He likes that latte yum.
I don't know what a cafe mocha is.
I don't drink coffee a lotte with mocha. Yeah.
Oh, good to know.
Two baristas and.
I'm 28 and had coffee for the first time a month. What?
I'm sorry. I've known you this long and you have not even tried coffee?
No, I've had coffee before, but now is the only time I've consistently had it at work.
More than bodily leaves. We'll have a tasting train.
You to be an overcaffeinated millennial like the rest of us.
Yes. I can't wait for my heart to implode.
God, I wait for it every day. Every day.
That's the goal of coffee, right?
I hope that's closer to that sweet relief.
It's just Russian roulette in a cup.
Maybe I'll vibrate my way to hell today.
And we see penguins asking about Polar Bear, about the part time job. Just kind of like, hey, you've had a few openings for, like, part timers, right? Yeah, polar Bear was like, yeah, I got, like, four interviews lined up. And Panda overhears this and comes running up to the counter and panel's like, oh, part time polar bear's. Like, you went in? Yeah, sure, why not? And just chucks him in with the interview lineup. We cut to the interviews and Penguin sitting in for some reason, which I thought was weird because he doesn't work at the cafe.
He's an investor.
Honestly, I would be surprised. That would make sense why he's there all the time but not working. Yeah, he just fronts the money. And the first one we see is badger. He's like, all right, how do you think he can manage in the halls? He's like holes. I love holes. I dig all the time. They're like, cool. We said halls, not holes. Going to pass.
This show is just so good.
It's just so pure. And then next interview, we see just a giant tortoise. And they're like, how do you think you'll do? I'm going to do pretty good.
No.
We see. Mandrel is next like a baboon. And they're like, so what's your main skill? He's like, mostly eating, and he's just cramming, like, meatballs in his mouth while he's like, Anti interview. And they're like, It's not the job. Yeah, they're going to move on. Next person an eater like, all right, what's your main skill? And just, like, hops up on two legs like, yo, I'm intimidating his form. It just stands up and basically just t pose and then just like is that it? It's not really intimidating. I'm a polar bear. Is that all you got? Yeah. Okay, we're going to move on to someone else, and then we finally get to Panda. And then looking over like, all right, you seem pretty good compared to all the other candidates. It's like, what time were you like, how much were you planning on working? He's like, Two days would be good. No, we need four. It's like, how long? It's like, eight hour shift. He's like, oh, I can't do that. That's a lot I can't do. It's like, well, maybe you can come and get me in the morning when I'm late. You plan on being late a lot, don't you? He's like, yeah, I plan on being late a lot. But do you have any intention of actually working here? He's like, no, not at all. I really don't want to. It's like, okay, thank you for wasting.
Your time, Mad, because no film job is so dreamy.
Oh, God, it'd be the best. And the pants just like, not, how do I do it?
Perfect job.
And then we just kept a polar bear. Has them all lined up, and it's like, you all suck. None of you got the job. And they're just like the tortoise is, like, spinning on a shell, and everyone kind of, like, freaked out a little bit. And the antiater is like, Tea posing again. And we see all of them. We get an exterior shot of them leaving the cafe. And I love it because the mantra is just pulling the tortoise on a sled because he's too slow to walk by himself. They're friends even if they didn't get the job. It's so normal. And Panda sticks around a bit and stays at the cafe and like, why are you still here? My mom's going to give me the suck. I don't want to go home. At that time, a girl walks in, and she's carrying a sloth on a branch. And the sloth waves down the polar bear. And he's like, hey, I saw your cafe, and I was wondering if I could have lived for just like, no, you're not getting the job. Just like, oh, man, we're not giving.
The job to a tortoise. We're not giving it to a sloth.
Yeah. And the girl is just like, oh, I'm sorry. He's not looking for the job. He saw your backyard and thought it was really pretty. So he just wants to live back there. He doesn't want the job. And he's like, oh, okay. That's cool. And he's like, hey, girl, you spoke and are competent. Do you want the job? She's got it. She wasn't even looking for a part time job, and now she's got it. She's abandoning her full time job and her family that we know nothing about for this bare part time job.
I'm a biochemist.
Honestly saying.
I was like, a week away from carrying cancer. But if you want to give me a job, that's fine.
Sure thing.
I feel like juggling around some cafe. olays so she gets the job, and then Panda goes home and tells his mom about the cafe. And it's like, oh, yeah, I found this really cool place. Yeah, the place down the street. Like, literally right down the street. And it's been there for years. Panda just like, Beans, I got to go outside more. It's been there the whole time. And then we cut to the next day and we see Panda, like, on the phone calling up the cafe. And she's like, hey, man, you got to deliver. It's like, no, it's like, be real cool if you delivered. Cool.
I'm like, right next door. Can you just give me a solid.
Person who we don't deliver?
Trust me enough to give me a job.
I love these characters, but this part was so painful because I experienced something almost exactly like this very recently.
That sucks. Yeah, it's terrible.
This woman, I can't come pick it up because I'm with a baby. And I was like, okay, well, then you can't have any coffee. I'm so sorry.
This damn baby band we have can't.
Bring the baby to the bodie.
I would be all on board for banning children from certain restaurants. I would pay premium dollar to have that experience.
Damn hot take.
There are some restaurants who have done it. There are very few, but there are some that have done it.
Yeah, because they're in whatever. Yeah, getting over brenda's hatred for children.
It's like my autobiography right there. So panda's mom walks in while he's on the phone and kind of hits him with the vacuum again, like, you lazy piece of shit. Gone. Just walk down.
It's literally next door.
Yeah. So Panda goes to the cafe and sees Mr. Penguin. Penguins like, hey, can I get the usual? And Panda walks in. He's like, hey, give me the usual. And socco how do you pronounce it? Is the girl who got hired. And she's like, oh, what's your usual? All right. And Paul herbert's like, I got it. And gives them just, like, rice and curry. It's like this, isn't it? Standing, you dumb bitch. It's not your usual. It's not how this works. And then gets sad to learn that, like, still doesn't have bamboo. Really shooting for that bamboo shoot.
Bamboo shoots.
It's animals and puns. Like, this is my show. This is my elephant.
Finally, your brand.
My brand. That doesn't piss everyone off. Finally. Hey, still looking for part we found it finally floorboards like, hey, still looking for part time jobs? Here's a few tune a fishermen on a boat. You in. Penn is like, no, that's a lot of work. And I can't swim. And penguin's like, hey, what about the zoo? You can work at the zoo. It's like, part time, no experience. Seems a little cushy. He's like, yeah, I could do that. Paul bear is like, yeah, but what about that tuna boat? It's like, no, no tuna boat. And he just keeps pushing it through like the rest of the episode. So once Penn is at the zoo, he's getting interviewed. And it's just like, so you got no experience and you want to work the zoo? It's like, yeah. It's like, congrats. You're hired. What position do you want? It's just that easy. He's like, well, we got an open panda position, and we got an open Asian black bear and an open gorilla position. Panda thinks about himself in a gorilla costume and a pulled black bear costume. He's like, oh, no, that wouldn't work. I'll just take the panda because I am one. That's like, great. And he starts working at the zoo, and he's just like, act natural. Just be a panda. He's just a panda in the exhibit. It doesn't have a job. And we see. He ends up going back to the cafe, and they're kind of like, oh, you finally got a job. It's like, yeah, but I won't tell. Being all like, sheepish coy. And then when he starts his first day at the zoo, he got a bunch of preschoolers come by. And the full time panda that's working there, he's like, all right, let's give him the razzle dazzle. And they start eating bamboo. And they roll around a bit and go up and down the slide. And they're entertaining the preschoolers. And then afterwards, they're just exhausted. Oh, God, I'm so tired. Oh, God, I'm so exhausted. And panda just falls asleep. And he wakes up when the zoo's closing. He's like, oh, okay. And then just goes to the cafe.
I can sleep on the job. All I have to do is be a cute panda on display, just do.
What I normally do and then sleep. And I get paid for a dream.
I would be in a human zoo if it just meant I could just chill.
Just like, hey, I don't know what.
Kind of love to go to a human. If they give me the even medium bucks, I am down.
Yeah, you can clock out at the end of the day, preferably have two way mirror glass so I can't see the perverts looking at me, because, like, anyone who's interested in me is like a real dirty bird.
I will look them up. I mean, I if I get paid to do nothing, I don't.
The vip ticket. The one window I have in my room is right next to the catwalk for, like, the second floor. So people just walk by all the time. So I basically am in a zoo. So I'm already there, except I'm pair.
Of binoculars and just sit at your.
Window and watch people and just take notes.
My neighbor walking by six inches away from my face. I think of a huge binocular. But yeah. So Panda ends up finishing his first day, goes back to the cafe, and he looks on the menu, and there's bamboo. Now, bamboo bears ordering bamboo. He orders special bamboo just for him because he's the only panda, and he orders some of the bamboo. And polar bear starts going into his puns again. They don't translate at all because they're all Japanese. But then Sizako plays along too, and they're just like, ah, we knew we hired her for a good reason. And that's episode one.
Yes.
So when we get the ending, they get the ending, and it's like a little stop motion picture of orthello pieces, and they're doing like a kind of a collage kaleidoscope thing, but with all the pandas because they're black and white tiles. So I thought that was a very.
Neat yeah, that was really cool.
It was cool.
And then the preview for the next episode is just like papercraft dolls, just like, sitting in place of penguin, polar bear and panda with, like, some voiceover to someone, like little light banter. And they're just doing some real neat stuff with the show, despite being, like, how simple it is or, like, let's play around a bit.
I just really love the end bumpers, because every time polar bears like, next time. The last episode of Polar Bear Cafe.
Have either of you seen paddington the Movies?
I have not, but I've heard it is universally adored by everyone who's even heard of it.
Yeah. So the first episode of specially gave me very strong paddington vibes. So I was very excited to get into the rest of this show.
Love those good boy bears.
Yeah. Episode two starts with the morning at panda's house. Things start early. They get up and they do tai chi because panda's grandpa is a martial arts master, so he teaches the Thai chi. And then they have breakfast. And then Panda is shown still in bed because the zoo is closed today, so he wants to sleep in.
I can't sleep at work. I might as well sleep in my bed.
I can't get paid for it. And then his mom is like, you missed tai chi and breakfast. And then she sucks him up with the vacuum again. And then it's cafe time, and Polar Bears doing a pour over. And Penguin is complaining about how stiff his shoulders are. And he's like, Southaco, massage my shoulders. And she's like, what? What shoulders? And he's like, they're right here. And she's like, I still don't know. And then he's like, Polar Bear, buddy, do it for me.
You know my body.
We're best friends. And then he just digs his claws into his shoulders, and he's like, oh, never mind.
Just stabbing.
And then Panda gets there and he asks for his usual, and he gets a plate of bamboo.
He finally made it.
They're friends now. And then they're talking about panda and Penguin are talking about how busy the cafe is. And Penguin is like, yeah, well, it's good food and good coffee, and there are a bunch of people here, cute girls and exotic animals. They've got it all.
I'm curious of what an exotic animal is when animals are sentient.
Yeah, that's interesting. I forget what animals they showed in that part. I think the mandrel was there and the tortoise.
Yeah, I think it was a lot of people Panda works with.
And then Panda is like, polar Bear is so cool for running his own cafe. And he is good for him. We love a small business. And then Penguin asks for amoka. And then Polar Bear makes more puns about Japanese words, and then he serves them. And then he's like, Sausaco, I'm going to go out for a little bit. And she's like, okay. So Polar bear is gone. And while he's gone, Panda is fantasizing about what his cafe would be like if he had one. And he's like, I know what I'll call it. Panda Cafe.
In original, very true art.
He said groundbreaking. He said he'd want it to be mellow and retro and it would have Panda decor. And Penguin is like, that's dumb.
You are literally just stealing this and just putting your face everywhere.
Somewhere with just your face everywhere.
Dana Cafe. It's just pictures of me, like that picture of speckle from tuca and birdie.
Smiling.
I can't wait to start human Cafe.
Like, you're serving human cafe.
Cafe.
I guess you're right.
God, now I'm committed to it. I have to start a maid cafe now.
I'm in good news.
I already have the made costume. Don't ask questions.
I already have 30 made costumes in various sizes.
I'm miss kobiashi. I'm obsessed with maids.
So he talks about the menu, and all they would serve is bamboo. And we don't see the whole spiel, but it is essentially bubba from Forest gumps spiel about shrimp, but bamboo. And Penguin is like, well, what about fish? And then Panda is like, they don't serve fish at cafes. And penguins like, they don't serve bamboo either. And then Penguin says he wouldn't get any customers. And then Mr. Llama is also there.
Of course I'm a llama.
Panda asks him if he would come, and he says, no, I would get tummy aches if I ate bamboo. And then penguins like, you should serve other things, too. And then they show Sausaco making this delicious looking pasta. It made me hungry. And then while Polar Bear was gone, panda redecorated the cafe to make it, like, his idea of what the cafe would be. And he was like, welcome to Panda Cafe. And Polar Bear was like, no, turn it back.
Tear it down.
I love that panda. Panda was also in a panda costume and not just himself.
Well, you got a dress for the part.
It's a uniform everyone's got to wear.
It wouldn't be fair if he didn't. And then now it was time for penguin's Cafe fantasy. It will be called Penguin Cafe. whoa.
Wow.
He says the menu will center around raw fish and alcohol, to which Panda says, that sounds like a sushi bar. You need to have something that a cafe would have. It can't just be in the name.
And then, sasako, what about to make it a cafe? Just open a sushi bar.
And then Sausico is like, how about coffee? And Penguin is like, no, I don't know about that.
Cafe seems weird unreasonable.
So Panda is like, maybe you should just hang up the cafe idea. And then Penguin gets heated, and he's like, I'm going to do it. So then he does the same thing where he changes the Polar Bear Cafe. And Polar Bear again, is like, stop changing.
I like, though, that it wasn't like Polar Bear didn't leave like he did before. You see him at making coffee or making food or something the whole time, and he just turns around and it's already like, the Penguin restaurant. He's just like, I turned my back for five minutes.
Please be just so quick.
And then Mr. lama says he wants to have a llama cafe. That's like a cat cafe, where you can groom them and hang out with them, and you can choose your favorite and take it out for a walk. And then Penguin is like, I can't imagine that would be fun.
Be fun for the llamas. We get some beautiful shots of llamas with, like, long. Flowing hair and, like, makeup.
Llamas, no, alpacas. Now we're talking.
Hey, now we're getting alpaca.
And then Panda is like, My idea is the best one. And then Penguin is like, My idea is the best one. And then they ask Polar Bear, and he's like, I like, llama's idea. And then they're like, hey, Sausico, what would your cafe be like? And she's like, Let me tell you. And then they just completely ignore her and start bickering again. And then we're into, like, part two. I like that each episode is like it's like an old episode of a cartoon where it's like, there's 211 minutes segments. I'm into it.
Yeah, two acts.
They're, like, loosely connected, but not, like fully.
Yeah. So in the beginning of part two, penguin is sitting with Llama at a table. And he's like, I have to tell you something. You can't tell anybody. I have a penguin that I like. And then Llama is like, hey, polar bear, can I get a green tea parfait? And he's like, what were you saying, Penguin? And then penguin's like, there's a penguin that I like and then Llama's like, I'm sorry, Polar Bear, can I make that a strawberry parfait? And Penguin is like, what the hell?
Come on, man.
This is my one outlet.
He's killing me here.
And then Panda gets there, and he gets his bamboo, and they notice that the cherry blossoms are in bloom, and it's so beautiful and pink. And then they all go out into the trees, and they lay down a picnic blanket. And Panda says he wishes that they had snacks. And llama agrees. And then Penguins like, why can't we just sit and enjoy the trees?
Why have funny snack with food?
Dumb disgust. Just look at the trees. Eat the trees.
Eat your in your eyes.
And it was at this point in my notes that I started referring to Polar Bear as pb, which I thought a cool nickname, pb. But he brought lunch. He was like, oh, don't worry. He attacked everybody. Some food. And the sloth is there. And he's like, Go get a drink from the convenience store. And everyone's like, we have stuff here. And he's like, oh, I'm just going to go to the convenience store. And he just keeps going really slowly and keeps saying goodbye. And then there's, like, those little commercial break bumpers in between him walking away.
He just dropped it every 5 seconds as he moves two inches.
Yes, I love it. And he's gone eventually. And then they all have nice little cheers, and they eat lunch under the trees. And Penguin gets mad because he's like, we should stop eating and do something more appropriate for the occasion, like singing. And everyone's like, I can't sing. And he's like, what about dancing? And panda is like dancing. And then Polar Bear shows off some moves. He does some hula dancing and some belly dancing.
Yeah. And a drunk office worker, like stomach dancing or draws a face on his stomach.
Gross. And then Penguin is just drunk. He gets real, real tipsy. Is it any just really wants to do something. And he's like, Polar Bear, lift me into the tree. I'm going to fly. And everyone's like, no, sit down here, Penguin, please.
You're day drunk.
And then they show Polar Bear doing a bunch of cool stuff to entertain everybody. And then polar. No polar Bear. Penguin fell asleep. dingus.
Lightweight.
And then he wakes up and he wakes up and he rants about how young penguins just don't get it. And then he just wants to fight everybody.
We've all been there.
Unrelatable conduct, fully drunk.
Boston, you want fucking go, bro?
You want a whack? You want a whack? whack a wake you up?
And then that's when he tells Panda, I have a crush on a penguin named penko from the bakery. She works part time at the bakery, which is very cute, and he thinks that Panda is her. And then he recites a poem about her, which I did not write down, but it goes something like, ms. penco talks, Ms. penco walks. And then there's another line that I can't remember, but that's also squaw. And everyone's like.
I guess anything's poetry, if you call it that.
Yes. Beautiful. It's written with love. And Polar Bear is like, you should take her on a walk. And then penguins like, I absolutely should. And he takes Panda by the hand, and they go for a little walk, and he's just like, he is going to ask her out. And then he's like, you're not penko. Where is she? And then he goes nuts and passes out again. And then they're all heading out, and they had a nice day. And Llama is taking penguin home. He's passed out on Llama's back. And then Sloth gets back, but no.
One'S there because it's the middle of the night.
He left. Yeah, it's night time. And then Polar Bear comes back out and he says, oh, the cherry blossoms are pretty at night, too. And then they sit and they have a drink together in the nighttime. Cherry blossom just so beautiful.
I aspire to be Polar Bear when I grow up.
In Bear in the big blue House. This is really similar to that, actually, now that I'm thinking of it. It's just like Polar Bear's residence, and then a whole bunch of wacky people just there. And he's like, Why are you guys here?
Please, my home. I just want to do the dishes and go to bed.
Please.
I just need to sing to the moon real quick.
Farewell to you, my friend. Is that what that was? Yeah, that's the right one. The moon, the fair and the big blue house.
Okay, I was mixing up that Goodbye song, and that out of the box. Goodbye song.
I think that's what we were singing first. I think it's that it doesn't matter. One of those anyway.
Okay.
Anyway, bears are good. Continue.
Bears are good. Moral of the story, all bears are good. All bears in children's shows. And then pandas, it's the next day, and they're at the cafe, and Panda is like, wow, things got pretty nutty yesterday. And peanut butter. Peanut Butter. Mr. Peanut Butter is there now. And he's just like, what is this, a crossover? Oh, man, I'm losing my mind. I woke up at 530. whoa, we.
Bear bears are here too. Triple cross.
I mean, he's kind of like Polar Bear from that.
Yeah, stoic. So Polar Bear says it's like, oh, no. He's like that every year. And they're just like, wow, Penguin really can't handle his alcohol. And then he comes in and he has a hangover. He's like, oh, I have such a headache. And then they see that he has bread, and they're like, oh, did you get that bread from the bakery that penco works at? And he's like, how do you know about that secret? And they all recite. The dino met him, and it's just a silly little moment teasing them because.
He got drunk and spilled all secrets.
God, this is as much conflict as I need in the show. Just a penguin being teased for his romantic poetry, for getting drunk and just.
Letting his feelings out.
That's all I need in life. So, yeah. Episode three, we have Panda walking in, and he's all bummed out, and Polar Bears like, hey, buddy, what's going on? And Panda is sad because no one ever visits him at work. He's always at the polar bear's work, but he doesn't but Polar Bear doesn't go to the zoo, and he's just sad that his friends don't get to see how cute and loved and popular he is at work. So they agree to go the next day and visit and actually hang out outside of the cafe for once. And as Panda gets to work, the manager, Honda is there saying, hey, the Full Time Panda is out, so you'll be flying solo today. And I just love that Full Time Panda had to go visit his daughter in school.
Yes. I hope it was like Career Day or something.
I also like that his name is Full Time Panda. Mr. Ford honda's name rhymes with Panda.
Yeah.
But yeah. So Panda is doing more work than usual. Since it's just him, he has to be extra entertaining. So he's quickly draining himself of his very little reserve of energy. So Polar Bear and Penguin arrive, and they plan to go directly to Panda and see him first thing. But an announcement comes over the speaker saying, it's Polar Bear feeding time. Don't you want to go see these polar bears dive into the water? And Polar Bear is like, oh, hell yeah. Let's go do that.
Fuck it.
To be fair, if I went somewhere and I heard a loud speaker, hey, it's Brendan feeding time. And I'd run to wherever it was.
My friend get fed.
They go to the polar bear exhibit, and there's a big sign on the entrance to the hall that polar bears are not allowed because they confuse the polar bears inside. You're free. What?
I can leave?
That's one thing I don't understand because some of these animals just live there and some are employees that get to cart at the end of the day and I don't know how I.
Yeah, it's weird because it does feel a little like human zoo ish. Because in the real world, humans the real world, in the outside world, the humans are like, these are just people.
Other citizens.
The weird people are just weird people. And you'd pay no mind.
Yeah, but I'm wondering if it was less like I could escape, I could be free one and more like, hey, what are you doing out there? You're supposed to be working. They see them and are like, hey, are you supposed to be in here with me? Or what are you?
Your lunch break is over. Come back.
Yeah.
Confuses them, though.
Yeah, just in general. Just like, what's happening right now?
But yeah, polar bears like, let's sneak in. I got to go see these fluffy friends. Maybe I went to school with one of them. I don't know. So they try to sneak in, which isn't hard when you're a polar bear and you're 8ft tall. But they get inside, a polar bear swims up and it's like, what the fuck?
You will know.
You're outside. You're in the real world. I don't understand.
Look at your little hat.
I'm so confused and challenged.
I loved his little hat.
Yeah, he has a little hat. Great. It's a little flat.
Brim soon ticket booth. I was like, tate was sitting next to me while I was watching it. I was like, he's wearing a hat.
He's sentient he's close.
It's weird because normally I don't have the reactions of real animals for anthropomorphised animals, but he's wearing a hat. It's so cute. Works for both this show and dogs in the Real world. But yeah, they immediately get busted. And penguins like, no, this is a teddy bear. I won. It's tough. It's fake. And polar bear just freezes. And the guy is not buying it and kicks them out.
He's super not.
I saw him walking back at the Panda exhibit. Panda is talking with Honda. He's getting nervous because his friend said they would be here by now. And he recruits Honda to make sure he gets a picture of the gang once they arrive. After that, they go to finally visit Panda. But he tuckered himself out. He fell asleep.
He was working.
Too much work.
He was giving them the old razzle dazzle a little too hard.
You had to give him the two time razzle dazzle because Mr. Full Time Panda wasn't there. I do the work for the both of them.
Normally you do the razzle and I do the dazzle, but I got to do both today. So they keep shouting at him, trying to wake him up, but he is out cold. So they're like, this is lame. I guess we'll come back. So they go to the seal hall, and again there's another sign that says, hey, polar bears are not allowed because it freaks the fuck out of the seals because they think they're going to get eaten, which is very valid.
But wouldn't there also be a sign for like no penguins in here because the seals are going to try and eat them?
Yeah, why did they're just racist against polar bears?
Yeah, this zoo just trying to take down the big white bear just because.
This bear is white.
I love that in Japanese, polar bear is just shirokuma because that just means white bear.
Valid. They got the point. I mean, we basically call them ice black bear. So sure, yeah, that's true. But yeah, they sneak in again. They freak the fuck out of a seal. Polar bears like, I know I don't want to eat them, but oh, when I see a seal, I get excited. And Penguin is like, okay, let's get you out of here before your instincts take over. And again they get caught. Penguin tries to pass him off as a polar bear rug, which is a little bit morbid, but cool. But again, they get kicked out.
No, this isn't my friend. I killed him and skinned him. And it's my rug.
It's fun.
So they go back to Panda, who is still asleep, and they hear some kids complaining like, oh, this Panda just sleeps all day. This is lame. They're like, oh, he said he was so popular in the cafe. What a liar. But they see Honda and he's like, hey, I think I was supposed to take pictures of you all together. And they decide, okay, let's just pose over his sleeping dead body. Just give him the proof that we were there. So yeah, they keep walking. They go check out the giraffes. They almost walk by Llama and he's like, hey, I know you guys. Hey, what's up? Good to see a friend because Panda is just fucking napping over there. Yeah, he does that a lot. But you should go see him again. He should be awake, but he isn't.
He's not.
So yeah, it's later on, either after work or the next day. But Panda goes back to the cafe, super bummed because his friends didn't visit him. He didn't see them all day. And penguins like, you fucking idiot. We have photo memories that you just nap through the entire thing. But yeah, so that's like our first half of the episode. But it's back at the zoo. panda's feeling weird because he's still not quite getting the hang of it. He's overthinking it because the Honda told him to just act naturally. And he just wants to put on a good show and be thought of as cute. So he's asking full time panda and Honda how he can be acting natural. And they're like, you just sit here and eat bamboo. Do the shit. You always complain.
You can't do stuff you've been doing to this point.
Stop dancing and trying to juggle and stuff, and you'll be fine.
You don't even have the phone.
And I like the rest of it because it was basically just some group therapy stuff at the cafe, all the zoo animals are gathered and they're all complaining like they aren't super duper happy at the zoo. Not because it's, like, hard work, but they're just sick of needing to do all the stereotypical things they do.
Same old the otters.
Like, My belly hurts because I have to break clams on rocks on my belly.
No, I haven't.
No. We get a fun little fear that.
You are trying to break them, and you're like, oh, that sounds awful. I don't want to do that. I feel bad for you.
Stop breaking clamps on your tummy. It's like but that's what the people want to deliver. I'm an October.
So the koala is sick of eucalyptus, the anteater is sick of eating ants, and llama is like, hey, at least people like looking at you. I'm a llama. unconspicuous, ugly and unpopular. I literally had to call to get your attention when you were there because you just were not looking at me when you walked by.
He's got a point.
There no one's lining up to see the llama. tapir is like, hey, everyone's. Like, he has, like, the folklore legends of eating dreams, which holy shit, I did not know that was a thing.
That's where drowsy comes from.
That makes sense.
I never put that together. And I didn't know drowsy's ate dreams either.
Yeah, that's why Tapirman from digimon also eats dreams. He's the dream digimon. Anyway.
God, shut up. How dare you? I'm looking at it to see if that's real. Hold on.
Like, I'd tape your mod. Yeah, we get dana's reaction.
This is why you can't bring it up every episode, because we got little cloudy Halt to be like, this stupid idea couldn't possibly be the thing.
I don't hate him because he reminds me of a colossus from Shadow of the Colossus. Like, he looks like he'd be in that, but I also kind of hate that he exists. What is this?
Why is he to Pierre Mon if he doesn't have a trunk?
Eventually, this is so eventually.
I like the helmet design. Everyone just stop. We're going to not advance the plot for a minute so you can at home just Google tipirmon just exactly how it sounds spelled out.
I like his bracelet.
It has, like, a fun, like, zelda.
E helmet thing, but he can eventually dissolve into digitamond.
Who's my holy I'm sorry, are his back legs just smoke? Did I just overlook that this entire time.
He's a mystical, dream eating creature.
This is just an egg.
Yeah, it's just an egg with legs. I love it.
You also love vivi. Is that its name?
Yeah, I got aesthetic okay, fuck this. Fuck you.
We're done with digimon.
I don't think it would all that.
Much the digimon interlude.
And now for our digimon interlude.
Back to our regularly scheduled programs. But yeah, that's basically we don't get much plot on this as they're all complaining, panda falls asleep. And the next day at work, after all this talk, he's so intently just thinking and contemplating how to act naturally. He's just casually relaxing in a tire. And the crowds eaten it up. And they're like, yeah, just you're overthinking it. Just nap. And you're good. And he's finally getting the hang of acting naturally by sleeping.
Good for him.
I do like at the very end after work that day, Panic goes to the cafe, and Penny was still trying to help him out to be act naturally. He's kind of like, relax, think of what you're doing in your most relaxed setting and then do that. And panic cuts him off. He's like, hey, check out this bag I got with my face on it. It's fucking koi as shit. And why do I help you?
Why do I want to act naturally? And you're getting accessories with your face on them as real pandas.
It's kind of like a pretty narcissistic episode for pandas. Doesn't show him in the best light.
But he's a lovable idiot.
Yeah.
Also just like the voice actor just sounds a lot younger. So he does have that, like, baby, I don't know how to be adult quality to him, which I like, yeah.
What do I do with my life?
Is there a dub of this?
Not that I could find.
Me neither.
I feel like this would be with.
All those puns, there's no way.
Yeah. This is a very Japanese show, so it would be hard to translate all of that stuff, like the localization of all that stuff. But then it's also just it's very mellow. It's very calm. I can't see this on tunami. I don't know where this would air.
Yeah, it was very enjoyable. But yeah, I don't know if like well, I don't know. Anime fans will eat up anything, apparently.
True.
So I'm sure this would find an audience in America. But it is very mellow, very gentle.
I feel like this would be a good buffer for something else. Like if they broke it into the Eleven Minute axe and this was just like an intermission or just like a commercial or something. And it was just a pleasant, like all right, now we're going to take a chill period and watch this bear make tea.
Yeah. I really can't believe while I was watching it, I did not connect it to Bear in the Big Blue House. Because the more I think about it, the more it just is that because you compare baron the Big Blue House to other children's content and it's just like the chillest. It's like the same as, like, Mr. Rogers. It's just the chillest thing.
Yeah, it's so chill. And it's got like an iceber. It's like Frigy mon.
No, he's a so how do you feel about that?
No more.
I like them. It's very much my vibe. I'd put it on just to half pay attention because I kind of feel like you can even though it's not dubbed, you can kind of just get the gist of the conversation and just be like, oh, yeah, tune in and out.
And you'll still get some pleasant vibes and fun jokes.
Yeah. You'll never be lost in the plot. It's never going to be like, what's happening? It's like, I get it.
Who's mentoring who now? And who's the rival?
Wait. Which one's? Panda.
I got confused, but yeah, this is definitely something I would use as, like, a destressor. I've been diving into more just like, very calm, fun children's media just as, like, after work destress. And this is definitely going on that list. So, yeah, this is definitely something I would watch more of if I'm having anxious or stressful. Bay.
Yeah.
Finally got a win.
Yay.
Good for you, Brendan. What a good pick?
Oh, God. I think the last pick of mine that dugan liked was made in a pitch.
Wow.
It's been a while.
He gets angry in this episode.
Yeah.
Weird. It's very easy.
It's like you occasionally have good taste, but you're hard to like as a person.
Wow. Okay. gee.
The shade of it all.
I love you.
Friends.
You say you don't joke people for what they like. I get so much shit for digimon.
But we're friends.
Hey, you get shit for digimondow on our throats.
I just brought up tape your mind. I thought we were going to move past it. I didn't think we were going to stop on it.
You really didn't expect it?
I didn't. I thought we were going to move.
Past well, anyways, so what do we have going on next week?
Next week we're watching panty and stalking, which is anime I know very little about. I've seen the characters a whole lot and the music is really good. But other than that, I know next to nothing about it.
I'm scared.
You should be.
Oh, no.
Yeah, we are. They have quite the transformation sequence.
Oh, boy. Well, I'll say that I'm cautiously optimistic for next week.
I'm horrified. Thing ding watching the first three episodes. That's what I was going to say.
Yeah. If there is anything that you, the listener, would like us to watch, we take recommendations. You can got a list. Who.
We got a list.
Sorry, I thought you said it's lit. And I was like, how does that apply?
It's lit.
What is yeah.
Send us where's the Lancast anime bro. I'd be real fucking trilly. You my home. Send recommendations to are we There yet? On Twitter and Instagram. We also have an email. Are we there yet@gmail.com? You can find me on Twitter and Instagram at mrpatrick. dugan.
You can find me on Instagram at queen. Period. Wyaboo and on Twitter at Queen underscore Weebu and Queen underscore weeaboo art.
You can find me on Twitter at abtsbrandon. It stands for Almost Better Than Silence, which is a video game podcast I did like, 2 hours ago, which is why I got a little more energy than everyone fresh. I'm amped up on podcast.
He's a magnate. He's got them all.
Podcast mobile.
No, that's not how that goes. Thank you to camille ruley for our artwork. And thank you to louie zong for our theme song stories off the album Beats. You can find all of louie's music at Louisong Dot bandcamp.com. Thank you, and we hope you'll join us next week as we learn to live with anime.
House.
Music. You.