Man, this is boring.
Hello and welcome to our weebly and explore and education and anime. I'm your anime idiot, patrick dugan.
I'm an anime expert, dee hollander.
And I'm brenda mccullough. Your anime hobgoblin vagina getting that explode tag out there early in the episode.
I want to apologize to our listeners immediately. Sorry, this is not sort of the energy we typically try to bring in.
Zero, maybe you don't typically bring in.
It'S the energy I discourage.
Especially before the first minute mark.
Listen, we get monetized anyway. Is that.
Fair? But yeah. We have a rarity today. We have an anime series. I've seen a couple episodes of insane. How can this be? What negative dimension have we entered?
We take a break from recording for a week and we come back and everything's upside down.
We come back and dug. It's actually a weeb. We've done it. We've finished the podcast.
The recent shows made me return to my mountain oasis, my hidden bunker. That is anime proof. Now I'm recharged and I can confront my past. I can confront my own venturings into weeb dim.
Oh, interesting. Oh, quickly. Speaking of previous episodes, I finished the first season of Blood blockade battlefront. I don't know what the fuck it's about. Genuinely no fucking idea what that show is about. I watched twelve episodes. That no fucking idea. It looks pretty. No contact, nothing. I got nothing. Anyway, I just wondered.
I could have told you that without watching eleven more episodes.
Yeah, but if we got some shitty kid on Twitter being like, actually, you missed the new one. No, that story is fucking garbo, man. That's a garbage shit.
No one can tell us anything now.
Yeah, I lived through it. I experienced it. Anyway, that's something. What do we do to that?
Let me devote 6 hours of my life to defending myself against a hypothetical teen on the internet.
Dnd had canceled. I had a free Saturday night. Like, what am I doing?
Fair. But yeah, we're watching fairy tale. I tried getting into it when I was early in my anime studio days. I was like, hey, maybe I should watch anime. This was a show I tried. And that's probably why I didn't continue in that career path for long.
That's why I picked the opening that I did. What's the opposite of a fairy? A hawk goblin. What's the opposite of a tale of a giant anyway?
Death. That's just not true.
You got a fleshy appendage that comes out the back of you. You got a fleshy appendix.
No, we're not. We're moving on. We're leaving us dead in the dust.
But we'll never return.
So have either of you watched Fairy Tale?
Yeah, I've been told plenty of times that I should, but I haven't because I don't feel like it's for me.
I've watched a few episodes of it, but I actually read all of the manga. So I dropped off the show pretty early but then just kept going with the manga because, I don't know, I had time to kill. And there's the lie that if this podcast is an indicator of anything, it's that I have too much free time. And there was a lie that was perpetuated by the internet for, like, shy on four years of, hey, fairy tale is ending soon. I was like, okay. And I kept reading. It went on for like, four or more years, but it did eventually end, so I finished it until the ending. So I know a lot about this show.
Let me tell you what I do know about fairy tale. I know, I think fairly recently, the main character with the pink hair was like, on some article, was like, the hottest anime boy of all time.
Agreed, disagree.
And also that it's the same fucking person that made rave Master a couple.
Of strikes against it with some baggage.
Brendan fell off the show early.
Looking at the guy with pink hair. It's like, yeah, sure, I guess he's like, cute. But the holiday boy of all time? Have they seen Victor Nickyber off? Have they seen legoshi?
Have they seen my love story? Just a fucking brick shit off of a man. Good stuff.
But anyway but yeah, we're going to watch the first three episodes. Gather around, kids. Let me tell you a fairy tale. One of these perverts is familiar. We've seen this guy before. Who is this? What's he doing in this show?
Me? Is it me?
I mean, yes, but still.
We have.
Returning sidekicks that we couldn't get enough of in rave Master. They're back for more.
Weird dog. They keep calling it a dog.
Yeah, it's like a dog, snowman.
It's not a dog whatsoever. It's shaped like a small man.
It's a small bald man with the carrot nose.
Yeah, this is the anime olof. And they're like, yes. Yellow fido.
Out of all the psychics we could have gotten from Bravemaster, we couldn't have gotten with the one voice by Tom Kenny for some fucking reason.
No, at this point, he's too expensive.
I was going to say they would have recasted. He's too big at this point.
It's just still wild to me hearing Tom Kenny in an anime in any form, and he's just this weird blue snotman.
Well, let's jump in, shall we? So, episode one, we start with the information on the kingdom of fiore, Italy, I guess. Enough. But we're we're here in a magical land where magic is pretty mundane for the average person. It's like electricity. Yeah, you use it. But if you want to be a master, you can be a wizard. And then it turns it into an art form and you can be an adventurer with your magic abilities. I just love the concept of, like, yeah, everyone has magic, but if you're really into it, you can turn it into a job.
It's a hobby.
Yeah. monetize all your hobbies, kids, girl Bob, lose your passion.
Die inside like a wizard.
Love it.
Magical gig economy. So we see the port town of Hargeon, and we see our main characters not sue, who's the supposedly hottest anime character ever mentioned. Yeah, not true.
It doesn't hold up.
But he also has a blue cat sidekick named Happy.
Now this guy is the happier.
They were so close.
Just shift the camera down a little.
They arrive on train, and natsu's big gimmick for all these episodes is he gets very motion sick. So he's on the train and he's just passed out. Like, no more. I'll never set foot on a train again.
Okay, so I got the breadth of knowledge of fairytale, so I can give back context to some stuff. I don't care enough to go one piece timer out, but okay, fair. It's the type of magic not to does. We find other characters who could do that type of magic. They all have motion sickness, apparently. That's the curse you bear with this powerful type of magic.
Got you.
It's a gag. It's a goof.
Yeah, it'll get in the way momentarily. But he's still going to win the fight. He's the main character. It's fine. But yeah. So they're in this town looking for their companion. They're looking for salamander, but natsu's pass out on the train and leaves. And Happy got off. He's like, oh, fuck, I got traced down a train. So we're introduced next to our other main character, Lucy. She's looking through a magic shop, but this isn't a magic town, so it's pretty unimpressive. But she finds a gate key, which is sort of like a magical summoning. It's a yugio card. It's an Astrology Yugio card. You can summon the signs with them.
That's about it.
But she's like, oh, this is so expensive. What can a pretty girl like me get for this? And she only gets like, $1,000 discount, and she's pissed.
Still bought it though.
But as she leaves, she sees a crowd is gathering. The renowned wizard salamander is in town. Everyone in town is immediately in love. Already has a fan club, all this stuff. And we see natsu walking into the courtyard as well. And when they see supposedly salamander in the middle of town, they're like, oh yeah, I think we know this guy. He can help us find our dragon friend. But when he gets up close and sees just handsome, charmer, charming all the ladies, a handsome young man, he's like, you're not salamander. And he just walks away. But he does this in earshot of all the adoring fans, and they're like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Don't you know a legendary master when you see him?
How dare you? He's hot.
Lucy is also in the crowd, but as natsu is like, oh, that's not him. That's enough to knock her out of the fandom. And she's like, Wait, what's going on? But salamander is like, oh, young skeptics, I am a powerful wizard, and you're all invited to my yacht party tonight. Just fragra wizard. My favorite trope.
You see him all the time, but.
He does a big old fire showy exit and flies away. But as soon as he does, Lucy is like, oh, shit. He used a charm spell on all of us. That's why everyone was freaking out. That's why I didn't realize why I loved this stranger I had never seen before. Dude was using fucking, like, a love potion on the crowd, which is charm person motherfucker.
Which level spell.
Yeah, you can't burn those, especially when you have a party later. Better long rest in between.
He's probably a shitty wizard.
Sorry, it's an instant wizard. They're all shitty.
But being shaken from this, lucy goes up to Nazi and is like, hey, thanks. You kind of saved me there. What's your deal? And they go get food together because anime got to have a main character that eats a million pounds of food every meal.
Hungry lad.
So they get to the restaurant and they explain how yeah, it's kind of illegal to use these charm spells. So kind of a shady thing going on. But she also gives information on the guilds. Guilds are sort of the wizard guilds, different groups of wizard collectives that go and do bounties and missions and jobs. And she has her eyes on the most popular one. What could it be? Have we said it several times in this podcast episode? So far.
No one okay.
But she explains she wants to join, and Nazi is like, oh, cool. I'm on a mission too. We're just looking for a dragon buddy. And Lucy is like, the dragons are extremely rare. What are you talking about? No, people just know dragons, what's going on there, but don't really explain. So they part ways. They're like, yeah, she's going to try to check out the yacht party.
Whatever.
Sorry, I just forgot how to write. So my notes are like, three misspellings per line. I'm a mess.
Okay, this one's hieroglyphicsx basically just ascii art of shrek. I mean, it's not bad. It's just irrelevant to the show.
But later on, Lucy is reading a magazine about the guild fairy tale. ooh, all these hot wizards with just, like, Sports illustrated swimsuit edition photos.
Yeah.
Okay.
Like a wizard magazine. And they're like, ah, the centerfold. It's like, why, this is my favorite.
Issue of Wizard Monthly.
Like, wizard in a bikini doing magic, sure, but just lounging on a beach. Okay. All right. How did you get in this magazine? All right.
Same reason they got on the bingo card.
Diddies check math there, which this show has plenty of. So salamander sees her reading and is like, oh, hello, pretty girl I saw earlier today. And she's like, stop. I know you tried to charm me. That's kind of fucking gross of you. And he's like, oh, I'm sorry. Being a fine member of the guild fairy tale. And she's like, I'm sorry, what? You're an insider? He's like, hey, how about you come to my yacht party tonight? I can give you a recommendation to the guilds and help you get in. So she's like, all right, you can try to charge me earlier. So all right, yeah, whatever. Immediately out the window because you can help me. Cool. So that night, we see natsu and Happy looking out over the cliffs, beautiful seaside town. And they see the yacht out in the distance. And they also talk about how they overhear some women who are jealous they couldn't go to the yacht party. And they're like, oh, yes. Didn't you know that salamander of the Fairytale Guild, blah, blah. None of this information came up when there was a big crowd of people talking about salamander. But he's like, oh, fairy tale. You say I should investigate. So we see Lucy, she's on the yacht, and salamander still trying to put the wiles on her, still trying to seduce her. And she's getting caught up in it for a second, but then realizes, oh, no, you're using another fucking charm. Come on. One note wizard. How dare you, you fucking creep.
Fool me once?
Because this time it was supposed to be a sleep charm. Gross. But checks out a second later because surprise, this was all a ruse. Of course he's not salamander like Nazi said earlier. He's just some bandit. And they tricked all these women to get on his yacht so they can kidnap them. Great. Cool. Going to sell them into slavery. Cool. Fun stuff.
Casual human trafficking. You hate to see it.
Yeah, episode one good stuff. But he's like, all right, there's enough of us tough guys, so give me those gate keys. And he just throws them overboard, just disarming her. So perfect timing. natsu flies in, and he's like, I'm here to defend you. I'm immediately motion sick. I shouldn't be on a boat. Oh, the ocean sucks. Okay. And Just is immediately on the ground, just convulsing. But Happy, who has wings now, flies in and picks up Lucy. And when lucy's like, hey, you didn't have wings earlier, he says, don't worry about it. I'll explain later. And he doesn't. Truly deus ex monkey nut needed this little cat to have wings to pick her up. And then my magic wing timer timed out, and they fall in the water. But luckily it's directly over where the keys got thrown. So she just dives down and gets her weapons back. Cool.
You know how notoriously small and convenient the ocean is. Everything's right where you need it.
I definitely thought this was going to be like a plot point where she would have to go find more keys. nah, nah.
Yeah, do metroid and just, like, immediately take away all your weapons.
All again, she actually can't get through the doors. Her keys are gone.
Fair.
Yeah.
True, but using the keys, she summons a creature from another dimension. They're the astrology signs. She summons aquarius because, you know, water.
Water.
So she summons this mermaid creature who is pissed to be summoned. She's like, really? Come on, I don't want to deal with your fucking human shit.
Fair.
Yeah, true. But lucy's like, hey, I need you to throw that boat back into the port. And aquarius is like, fucking whatever.
And does it just be a teenager?
Yeah. And she just beaches this boat. So now that Nazi is back on solid ground, he's like, My motion sickness, it's gone. I can see. I can fight. And as all the goons circle up to be like, all right, we're going to beat this kid's ass, he's like, you know how I knew you weren't salamander the Fire Wizard? It's because I am salamander the Fire Wizard of the Fairy Tale Guild.
What?
Surprise.
Why was I looking for himself?
Yeah, that's what I didn't understand. I was like, they were looking for him.
Hey, wait to hear brendan's out in the town center. Oh, brendan's there? I got to go see this shit. Hey, wait a minute. bumped.
I guess I'll never find Brendan.
I've read this entire series that still hangs up on him. Like, what was this about?
I don't know, but he got dragon powers. He got the dragon training when he was a baby, so he got dragon parts. They say he has, like, the lungs of dragons and the scale skin of dragons and other body parts that were mentioned earlier that will not be mentioned again of dragons.
He's got all the powers of a dragon born without all the sexy scales and fangs of a dragonborn from Dean.
Yes, exactly.
Excuse me, Brandon.
What? No, we all agree on that.
I may be a furry, a scaly.
We all played oblivion and skyrim. We were all ragonians for one reason or another. Right, right. Moving on.
That's why you're so lusty. anyways, so, yeah, he got dragon powers, so he breathes fire and wins. Yeah, but in the process destroys, like, half the town. So as the guards are coming in to sweep it up, they're like, okay, time to go. So they meet up with Lucy and they flee the crimes they just did, and they were like, okay, I'm actually a member of Fairy Tale, so I can actually introduce you. And then they join together, and that's the end of episode one.
Yeah, cool.
I do like that they kind of make it clear that, yes, Fairy Tale is good. And our powerful wizards, they are a guild known for just wrecking shit and destroying half a town like you just did. lucy's reading a magazine earlier where it's like, oh, they stopped the bandits, but they wiped out half a city. That seems a bit extreme. So it's like, yes, these are anime protagonists. They care not for collateral damage or property value, and the plot will not.
Impose it on them.
Yes.
They don't have to clean it up.
Exactly.
So, episode two, we open with a bunch of stuff happens before we actually get to the new plot because we get the same intro about the guilds and magic and whatever for all three episodes. And it is, like, over a minute long. And then it's the opening, which is a good opening. And then we get a very short recap of the episode before and then we get to the new plot and.
There are five minutes of content left.
Yeah. And then we get the three minutes of the ending, and that's six solid minutes. You don't have to animate money.
So we see the Magic Council and they are discussing those dim wits from fairytale, and they're saying same stuff. They're so destructive, but without them, the world would be boring.
They're a menace.
Not safe. They aren't doing anything beneficial. They're just entertaining. How they destroy all the things you love.
Yeah, they're a menace. But they're, like, kind of fun and sexy.
It's like the jackass movies.
All those sexy people in jackass.
Yeah. So not sue. Happy and Lucy are at the fairytale guild and they bust in, and immediately natsu gets in a fight. Oh, boy. And Lucy is just kind of looking around, like, amazed to be there as this chaos is happening around her. And then we're introduced to a bunch of people. We have Gray, who has apparently a bad habit of taking off his clothes but then doesn't realize it. I don't know. There's a woman named Connor who has a reputation for being the heaviest drinker in the guild. She's just drinking straight from a keg. There's another guy named elfman who comes out. He believes in fists. There's a guy named loki. He fucks.
This is just a wizard frat.
I will say. A quick introduction. They do have a ton of characters in this field. The whole series overall does do a pretty good job of paying attention to them all or if not giving them their own spotlight every now and still keeping them alive. Yes, these characters still exist and are doing their own shit elsewhere, which I appreciate, unlike certain popular superhero shows right now.
So Lucy, she's like, what's going on here? Why are all these boys fighting? And then that model from the magazine that Lucy was admiring comes up. Her name is mira Jane, and she is an employee of Fairy Tale, they said. So I guess she's not part of the guild. She just works there and she says she likes the chaos.
It's fun.
Yeah. And all of the guys kind of mess around with Lucy. And then Connor is like, hey, fellas, knock it off. And instead of stopping, they all power up. But then this big old shadow comes out and turns out he's the boss. He's the master of the guild. He sees Lucy and he powers down, and he's just some small old dude with a mustache. His name is macarov, and he yells at everyone because he has a bunch of paperwork about complaints about the Guild from the Magic Council. And the narrator, very briefly, is like, the Magic Council monitors all of the Guilds, and then he burns the papers up. Who cares about those guys? Fuck it.
Fuck them.
And then he gets all philosophical about magic. He's like, Magic flows through everyone. It's got to come pouring out of your soul. Fuck the rules. Follow your own path. Gold team rules.
I love anarchist grandpa.
Yeah, I like that. He's just like, yeah. Why should magic have rules? This is stupid.
Also, I'm 2ft tall. I'm so peppy.
Got a little hat with, like, antler horn.
I don't remember. He's got a look.
Yeah.
So then they give Lucy a handstamp, and she's an official member of the Guild. Just like that.
Get back in the club.
Yeah. No trials. It's pink because she's not allowed to drink. So they look at the Request Board, and it has a bunch of different jobs at different prices. And then we see this kid ask makarov where his dad is. He says he was only going to be gone for a couple of days, but he left a week ago. Why isn't anyone looking for him? My dad could be dead. And macarov is just like, he's a wizard. He can take care of himself. Also, you just go home and wait. Your dad will be here's a couple. Go get a chocolate milk.
Shut up and have a beer, kid. No rules, remember?
Go see a Star War. So the kid storms out. I think the kid's name is romeo. And Lucy feels bad for him. He's like, Why isn't she like, Why is anybody helping that kid? And then nazu gets all upset and leaves, probably to rescue romeo's dad. And mira Jane says, My mouth did not want to say that name. She says that natsu relates to that kid because he also had daddy troubles. And then we see them traveling to the mountain. Whatever. Nazi has motion sickness. Ha ha. And then it's like a little flashback. This was weird pacing. But then we see mira Jane telling Lucy about nazi's back story. He was raised by a dragon, as we learned. Taught him magic and stuff. And then one day, the dragon was just gone. So natsu is on a mission to find his daddy dragon again. And I'm back in the wagon. Oh, fuck. I just saw a bowser.
Stand off. I know.
I forgot how much I love bowser.
He's a good dad.
He's a good dad. So the wagon stops, and they get out, and it's all snowy, and Lucy is like, It's summer. Why is it so cold? And so she summons another one of her god keys, and a grandfather clock shows up, and she takes natsu's blanket that he's carrying on his back and gets inside of the clock. And the clock speaks for her because no one can hear her. This was funny. This was a silly little joke, the.
Way he was narrative.
We just like to have fun. So the clock is conveying that she's cold and she wants to go back to the guild, but natsu and Happy press on, and they run into a monster that then grabs Lucy and runs off with her because he likes pretty human ladies. They're in his lair, and the clock spell wears off. So Lucy is defenseless. And then natsu rushes in, and he is like, hey, monster guy, where's the kid's dad? You must have him. And then the monster is like, oh, come over this way. And then he just kicks natsu out of the cave. No human men allowed. Women only.
What a feminist.
Even though just oggling lucy. Imagine if that was the case, though. If you're just like, I just really appreciate women.
I need to create a safe space for that.
Yes, instead of being an extremely horned up gorilla.
So Lucy uses another one of her keys, and a cow man comes out for taurus, and he's just as nasty as the monster. He's like, hey, Lucy, want to kiss? And I'm just like, I would pick this guy over. He's got, like, charisma.
He's in a speedo for some reason.
He's impressed for some reason. You know, the reason that implies his genitals.
You could have easily taken the speedo away and just not draw genitals. But now I'm thinking about a big.
Minotaur dick in a show as horny.
Is this I'm sorry, what was the third word you said in this podcast episode?
I don't think you can defend yourself. goblin vagina. It's different. Just move on. Oh, my God.
No, I'm thinking about the movie teeth.
We need to move on.
I just watched it. It was ahead of its time anyway.
Revolutionary.
Similarly, it was ahead of its time. Okay, so they're about to fight, but taurus goes down quickly. natsu pops back in because Happy carried him in with his wings. And now the monster wants to fight natsu, and Nazi is going to protect his friends. He protects everyone in the guild, Lucy included.
He's a punchy idiot who sold characters. I interrupted.
Sorry. Okay. He's not leaving until he finds this kid's dad, because they're friends, too.
He's a punchy idiot whose sole characteristic is loving his friends and found family as shown in anime.
So they start fighting, and Nazi is impervious to ice. But the monster guy picks up the Taurus's axe, and to power up, natsu gets a grip of the axe and melts some of it into his mouth. So then he uses his power and beats the monster. He eats fire. I don't think we said that. He eats fire and then he uses powers, and then turns out the monster was the guy they were looking for. He was possessed by something called a vulcan. So they patch up the guy, and natsu is yelling at him to wake up because he's got to see his son, his boy. And he wakes up and he's like, I'm so bad at being a wizard. I fought 19 of them, but the 20th got me. How could I face my son after that? And not so like you, bro. You fought 19 of them.
It's okay to do fine.
It took like, four of us to take on one. You're good.
And Lucy admires both of their strength and then back to the child. He's remembering when some kids made fun of him for his dad being a wizard. And then yay, they come back with his dad. Thank goodness. They hug, and his dad apologizes for being gone. And he says, hey, next time those kids make fun of you, you tell them your dad fought off 19 monsters. And then romeo thanks the three of them for bringing his dad back. And Lucy in her monologues about how nice everyone in Fairy Tale is and that she already loves her guild. And that's episode two.
That Good found family shit with families inside of it. Weird.
FAM on, FAM on, FAM.
As this tradition, we go on to episode three. We get another three minute intro, which I just started fast forwarding through at this point because good God. And it opens with Lucy waking up and introducing herself for like the third time already. This series.
I forgot who she was. Object hermann is not like, strong suit.
I know the show was made before, like, streaming was huge, so it wasn't made for binge watching. But it's like do we need the intro in the third episode? We kind of got it in the first one. Okay. But she's lucy. She's a celestial wizard. She's got spirit friends with keys. She's going to open Kingdom hearts. She lives in magnolia now, which is where the Fairy Tale Guild is. And she's got a little house now where she stays. And we get a little shoecase. She's got a wood stove and a bookcase and a tub and nazis here. And then I got another bucket. Wait a minute. What's natsu doing here? Come back and see. While she was like in the tub getting ready, he broke in and she's just hanging out. This is going to be a reoccurring bit of nazis. And she's freaking out, trying to get him to get out of her house because he just broke in without permission. And he's like, hey, what do you got over here? Oh, look at these papers. And she freaks out like, nah, it's a novel I'm working on.
He's not ready.
It actually is, though.
Oh, shit.
She ends up getting dressed and once again tells them to leave. Like, hey, I got shit that you get out of my house. And they're like, oh, celestial. Whose weird. He got like, little pokemon. You. yelma. And she called out and fight for you. What's that all about? We don't see too many of those. So she goes into another as you know, info dump. We get a lot of these and she's like, Celestial Wizard, I make contracts with Celestial Spirits. I got three silver keys, which are star signs, I remember what they call it, but they're like minor ones and then I got three gold ones which are the major zodiacs and there's only twelve of these and they're super rare. The silver ones you can just buy at a shop. And she's like, oh yeah, speaking of which, I bought this one at the shop and I still have to make a contract with it, so I'll show you what that's about. And she does the big old song and dances some of the Spirit and it's blue.
Anime.
Get out of here. And she says, some of the silver ones are so weak or it doesn't take enough magic on you that sometimes wizards will just to have them as pets, they're like, it serves no purpose. I just like having this weird, shaky snowman dog, very small man around, nervous. Anytime you raise your voice even slightly, he pisses himself. It's great.
We have that in common.
And natsu and Happy see it and she summoned it and they're like, oh man. They're like, Next time you can try it again, though. No, that's what he's supposed to look like. Oh, why? Immediately dunking on his little weird man and his star sign is the little dog. So yeah, they're all related to the synchron stars. astrology. I always get that wrong. astronomy. astronomy, that's it. And Nazi says like, well, anyway, you want to be part of our team? Nazi is like, what? We got a guild, but within the guild there's so many people you make, you know, small teams to do like, you know, requests and missions for, you know, and we need a team who want to be part of it. It's like, sure. And he gets this like evil green, like, ha ha, got her. Because she says that Celestial Wizards, they make a contract with the Spirit and that's like a promise that she's always hell bent on keeping any promises she has. As soon as Nazi gets her, he's like, great, you're part of our team now. Anyway, here's the first request they decided to pick out for us, and you already promised to be part of the team, so you can't turn it down now.
No. Take seas back. Seas.
Turns out the request is they got to take a book from some dirty old man who's looking for a blond maid. And he's like, Wait a minute, I'm blonde. He's like, yeah, we got you, you got tricked. You got good. And yeah, they're going to have Lucy apply as a maid and try and steal that book. And then back at the guild we cut back to we see another team of three people looking at the job board, being like, oh, man, that that book stealing gig is gone. They were paying like, 2000 joules for it. That would have been easy money. And the master speaks up. He's like, oh, no, no. They increase the reward from 2000 joules or 200,000 joules to 2 million jewels, like, just to steal a book from an old man? They're like, yeah, apparently. We cut back to natsu, happy and Lucy traveling, said natsu is sick again. Lucy says that she's going to get 80% of the cut because she's doing most of the work. And then once they get to the town, they're walking around and NASA is a restaurant, like, hey, let's swing in here and get some food. And Lucy says, like, oh, well, you eat fire. Can't you just, like, make your own fire and eat that? He's like, no, that's my magic. that'd be weird and gross. that'd be like, you eating one of your celestial spirits. She's like, oh, weird, yeah, why would I do that?
Yeah, I've never eaten them at all.
Yeah, not so unhappy, go to the restaurant. And lucy's like, I'll catch up with you guys, and runs off. And we see while they're eating, she comes back in the maid outfit that she went out and bought. And Happy is kind of freaked out, like, hey, we kind of told her that as a joke. We didn't plan on putting her in a made outfit, but she's already done it. And she's all pissed off like, I can hear you. It's like, well, you're already in it, so might as well put it to use. So they go and contact the job requester, the guy who put up the job posting, and he says, yes, I want you to find this book daybreak inside of the dukes mansion and I want you to burn it. He's like, that seems pretty easy for 200,000 jewel reward. He's like, oh, no, it's 2 million now. He's like, oh, that's even easier.
Okay, even better.
I'm very ashamed of this fan fiction I wrote.
Oh, no, my bart Simpson, garfield nervous rubble.
Hello.
Excuse me.
That was too quick, Brendan, that you thought of those three specific.
Listen, something's up with me today. I'm just going to be we started on a weird note. We haven't pulled ourselves back out yet.
We what do you mean we started.
On a weird note?
You did it to yourself.
This is episode 147. We're in this now. We're a podcasting thruffle, and the requester says, the book must be destroyed at all cost. It cannot exist in this world now. It's just like, all right, cool. You already said that. Money, please. And he runs off before he can even really say why. So the team gets out to the Duke ever lose mansion. All right, I guess we'll just contact him, apply for the maid job, and we'll see where that goes. So they hit a button, and a gigantic brick shit house of a maid just tunnels out of the ground behind her and flies out. And she's just very tall and very square. And sure enough, the Duke comes crawling out of the ground after her like a mug. And he's a gross, skisy man. Looks like humpty dumpty with a big old mustache and just full of blood money. And he's looking over Lucy like, all right, let me see if he can be amazed. Let me look you over. He goes, no, I'm good. I don't take ugly maids. You can leave. What the fuck do you mean, ugly? I'm cute as shit. And sure enough, we see a bunch of other maids come out of the ground, and they're all just very exaggerated, really weirdly drawn maids. Honestly, they look like one piece characters. They're hard looking. So Lucy lucy, she want to buy herself. Means I'm not too unhappy. And they come up with a new plan of how they're going to get into that mansion, get that book, and show that Duke who's boss. And we pan out to see the Duke spying on them through a crystal ball. And he's like, ah, more wizards. What my treasure? Money. And then we see Happy flies them all up to the roof of the mansion, and Nazi, like, melts the glass on a window to break in. And while they're sneaking around, no. Where am I? Where did I go? I lost myself in the notes. And they're looking for the book, and they're sneaking around from, like, room to room, trying to find stuff. And eventually the maids jump out again. They're like, maids, the security details. And they attack, and natsu beats them all off, and they run, and they find themselves in the library, which is probably where the book is. It's where a lot of books are.
Keaped.
Keep. Kept. Kept. keeped bookkeeped. Also.
I'm sorry. I can't not dwell on this. He did what? Those mates what I said, beat them off. I'm sorry.
Okay, I missed. That's fair. And I deserve to be called out for I don't know, for the heads what is in my head. It checks out. It's appropriate for this episode for some reason. I apologize to the listener request. This is fully me. Just derailing the hell out of this. Lucy, no, not to beat them up. And then they sneak into the library. They eventually find the book very quickly, and Lucy notices it's by a particular author that she's a huge fan of. She's a big old book nerd, and she's like, I've never heard of this work before. It must have been secret for some reason. I have to read it. They're like, cool. No, we have to burn it. It's like, no, now that I know who wrote it, I want to read it. It's like, Cool, but like, 200 million? Like, I'm going to burn it. So they get into a little TIFF about what they want to do with the book. And then the Duke shoots out of the ground. And I mean this literally, like, it's not an exaggeration with a lot of shit I say. He literally just erupts out of the ground like a weird mole. And he knew that wizards were trying to break in and take something from him, but he never knew what it was because he never got that far. So he didn't realize it was the book. But now he knows. And now he knows it's the book. He thinks that book is more valuable than he thought. So he brings that two mercenaries to help fight him off and to get that book back. And Lucy is like, cool, you're the fight boy. You deal with these two. I'm going to go read this book and just leaves. And it's like, give me a few minutes. Okay. So the mercenaries stay to fight natsu, and the Duke dives back into this hole to go after Lucy. And when natsu started fighting the mercenaries, we had a big explanation of the different types of wizards. There's, like, empowering wizards like natsu who use their magic on themselves. And then there's, like, cast or anywhere. And it turns out the two mercenaries are two brothers that are specialized in fighting fire wizards like natsu. uhoh, and then we see the monks are, like, martial artist. One of them is just like a giant guy with, like, four pronged hair sticking out of his, like, a compass or something. And then another one's, like, a Chinese monk looking guy with a giant frying pan weapon. And they're, like, monologue about, like the thing with wizards are they're a bunch of nerds. They spend too much time reading books so that are weak physically. So we focus on martial arts and kick the shit out of them. It's like, okay, I just love the.
Implication here of, like, you focus on your brain but not your body. We focus on our body, so we're dumb as shit.
At the fighter if I've ever seen one. But they're also wizards. Like, they're wizards that focus on their body. So I don't know what the implication they couldn't have just been like, there's other wizards that focus on their bodies as well? Did they not consider that that someone else might have done what they've done? So they're martial artists and they start fighting odds. We're going to win this fight easily. And then we cut down to Lucy in the sewers renting the book, and she conveniently has magical glasses that help her speed read. So she's just burning through this book, getting as much information as she can, and the Duke bursts out of the wall and grabs her. And then we cut back to the fight as the mercenaries as natsu launches a big fireball, like a breath of fire, like he's done before, and then mercenaries deflect it with a giant frying pan of, like, ha ha. We are prepared for your fire attack. My frying pan can absorb flames, double them and shoot them back at the caster. Eat shit, nerd. So that's exactly what happens. They absorb the fire, shoot it back at natsu, and natsu proceeds to eat it, despite him earlier in this episode saying he cannot eat his own fire or he does not want to, but I guess sacrifice. I'd be more okay with this if it wasn't. Within the episode, they addressed this rule of, like, no, I don't eat my own fire. And then he immediately does it the next fight.
But another wizard cooked it different. I don't know what he doesn't eat it raw.
The frying pan is cooked.
The fire okay, right? It wasn't shushimi. It was a flambit. I've been watching a lot of binge of babbage, a lot of cooking terms. I don't know anything about her in my head right now.
You got to raise the fire to 160 degrees kelvin so it gets rid of all the food borne illness.
The flames will muffle, fight and tide themselves and yeah, so they choose up the fire tag not to eat it, gets super powered and then just punches them with fire fist and blows up the whole mansion lobby. And we see a cloud, like, off in the distance from the mansion. He went overboard. And that's episode three. cliffhanger. They're still in the mission.
Oh, wow.
Tune in next week when we find the thrilling conclusion of Dragon Ball. I mean, fairy tale.
No, I won't tune in next week.
Yeah, I can't say I will either. Yeah.
Are we there yet? Just so we can get that in. Yeah. Thank you. We're legally contrast to, say that Rams.
Yeah, it definitely has, like you mentioned, it has character designs of one piece, and there is some one piece energy to this. It definitely has the feeling of a big mainstream show, but I don't know, it's not as good as some of the other big mainstream shows we've seen. So if this is your vibe, someone else is probably doing it better is sort of the feeling I have from it.
It's just another one.
Yeah, not bad. We've definitely seen worse. blockade battlefront, they'll say. Yeah, it's not bad. It's just not my cup of tea.
Yes, whatever.
Yeah, when he said we were watching this next week, that's kind of the feeling ahead. Like you said, we seemed much worse, but we've seen enough just typical action shown and shows to know it's not the best, or at least not for this podcast, even though I'm the one that watches all of them, so who the fuck am I to say? But, yeah, I kind of said it with jaju kaisen, where juju Kaiin is a very typical shonen action anime where it follows a lot of the tropes and a lot of the, like, staples of the series, but it corrects them and improves upon them in different ways. That keeps it compelling and fresh. I think fairytales the opposite, where it just follows the formula and doesn't really put any twist to it besides maybe having it. Well, no, I was going to say besides having a huge cast that they follow up with. But even naruta does that and Beliefs does that to an extent. Even one piece does it to a bit. So it even falls in the footsteps in that regard. So it it really is pretty by the books. Like, without seeing the rest of it, you could probably predict what some of the character development plot points are in certain characters. It's not bad. It's not new, though. It's nothing new we've seen.
Yeah.
Especially now that it's like a couple of years old. It's like you're not going back and reliving a classic or oh, this is a missed gem that I didn't get. It's like, yeah, if you watched at the time, it's probably satisfying, but not really anything you need to drop everything else to see. These responses are always kind of unsatisfying in my mind because it's like, yeah, we didn't have like a there's nothing wrong with it, but just like, yeah.
It'S like 200 some episodes. There's fairytale Zero, where it's like, all right, we're finishing fairytale.
Got you.
We're starting it up again at a different point. It's like, all right, cool. Poor ruto. So it just picks right back up and there's a fucking lot of it. Like I said, I've read all the manga. I know what happens. But it's like some really neat character designs at some point. That's about the best I could have for it story wise. It kind of follows a lot of the same beats and stuff.
Yeah, I knew going into this, like I said at the beginning, it just wasn't really going to be for me because this isn't really my thing.
Yeah, that's but we try. Like you said, we've seen worse.
Yes.
The worst thing in this episode was me for some reason. I don't know. I'm in a weird space today. I got a haircut. I'm all kind of fucked up.
All that pressure off your brain.
I didn't know it was shackling me in. I probably should have kept it.
Well, what do we have going on next week?
Next week it's my choice. And I've been talking a lot about furries in this episode.
I guess I have them on foreshadowing next week.
We're watching the furry mystery anime Odd Taxi.
Fucked you.
Yeah.
Very new.
And I've heard nothing but good things.
I've heard a lot of good things and I kind of forcing myself to not watch it. Waiting for the podcast. So I'm excited.
Yeah, I love the video game. Rip off crazy tax.
Love the offspring.
We're watching the first three.
If there is a show you would like us to watch, you can send your recommendations to us. Our email is arrived there yet@gmail.com. Hang on real quick. This show was recently recommended, and I.
Just completely blew past it because jessica gelbart.
Yes. Thank you. I was like, several people have recommended this, but let's at least shout out the person that actually got me to finally watch it. So. Thank you, Jessica. Yeah. If there's a show you would like us to watch, you can send your recommendations to us. Our email is rweeveryette@gmail.com. Or you can reach out to us on twitter or instagram at arweeveryette on both. You can find me on twitter and instagram at mrpatrick. Dugan.
You can find me on instagram at honey. Period. D on twitter at honey. D eight and honey dart or on twitch at honey. D and honey is spelled H-U-N-N-I-E. You.
Can find me on twitter at aBTS brendan. It stands for almost breadth of silence, which is a video game podcast I also do as well as showing dugan and d this giant panther man that comes in later in failure to fail and seeing their reactions. Because we talked a lot about furries.
Today based on all the other energy you brought. I am not looking at this picture until we finish recording so I can flee in terror.
Go on. We need the reaction for the listeners.
I've seen better.
Wow. Okay.
All right.
I'll look lovely. Panther lily for anyone that's a fan.
Okay. Yeah, it's just a buff guy with a metal shirt.
It's what's a small happy form, too.
Thank you, camille Ruley for our artwork. Thank you to louisong for theme song stories. You can find all of louis music at louisong bandcamp.com. Thank you, and we hope you'll join us next week as we learn to live with anime.
If anyone wants to send me bowser and luigi fanfiction, go for it.
If you got ezra scarlet fanfiction, pass that over to me.