He has to put the ball into our decarbonator. Please keep all of this in.
Hello and welcome to our weeb. There yet in exploration and education and anime. I'm your anime idiot, patrick dugan.
I'm an anime expert, d hollander.
And I'm brennan. Color your anime. pepsi man.
Pepsi man.
No face, big arms, big muscle, big heart, no identity.
Branded slenderman. Well, slenderman is probably I guess it's its own brand, kind of.
It is now.
At this point, someone technically has to do it. Who made the marble hornets movie? That's who owns slenderman now.
Yeah.
I don't know who owns it, but there's hot topic march of it. I guarantee that the first time I.
Watched the slenderman stuff, I was like 14 and I did not go to sleep. I waited to go to sleep until the sun came.
I would watch it with friends. I would walk home with, and then a portion of it I would be on my own at night alone, trees all over the place. So bad time.
I mean, I'm all about like, what's it called? Args and UnFiction media now. But at the time UnFiction is just like args but that don't have a game element. So it's something that feels like it exists in the real world but doesn't.
Never heard of that. Anyway, what are we here for, right?
Yeah. What unreal thing are we watching today?
Well, I can't say it's not real. I don't know enough about the I found this anime. I'm not even going to ask. Neither of you know about this because no one no one probably knows about this one. This was a deep dive to find this. Today we're watching aquican from what I've looked up, it's going to be an experience. And like I said last week, I apologized in advance. So here we go.
Yeah. Love just waking up in a cold sweat all week just waiting for the reveal.
You can't put that much importance on this. This show is a good time. But.
Is it Brendan?
It's for me? I don't know. I'm having fun even if listen, I'm a raccoon.
It's fun despite you.
I will say I can root around in any dumpster or trash can and find something fun in there. I'll make it work.
I wallow in the film.
This is where I was raised. I was born here.
I mean, the thing that scares me most about it is that you just went looking for it.
Yeah.
This isn't something you knew about. You said, it's time to ruin everything and then pick something that you knew would make us feel bad. Probably.
Well, I looked at my list and I was like, huh. It's mostly stuff I actually do want to watch and that I do enjoy on some level. I'm like, I got to fix that. We need some just real trash. So I went about looking. So, yeah, going into this, it's already going to be a rough time.
Yay.
I built up some good will over weekend. I built up with some goodwill with dugan over Thanksgiving. I got to ruin that somehow.
I'm thankful for my good friends dugan and Brendan and the time we get to spend together every weekend.
I'm just like how painful that time is. About a third of the time. I'll say half the time because I accidentally do make a cruise to myself.
I'm thankful I moved and I'm no longer within strangling distance of dugan.
Yes. You planned ahead. You made sure this was saved for when you're outside of the danger zone.
What is the danger zone? What is the distance you're willing to travel to beat up Brendan?
It's not far. So he was very close. He was like a block further. He could have been safe. But we'll see how deep the anger comes after we watch these first three episodes.
Oh, boy.
Here we go. Crack open a cold one with the boys.
Brendan, I'm going to need those Thanksgiving leftovers back.
I'm filing the restraining order right now for my own safety.
I live like 6 hours away from you guys, so brendan's safe for me. From me.
Just barely has a flight, I would say.
Well, I mean, I'll be there in a few weeks.
Sleep with one eye, see if that rage carries over. A month and a half. Oh, boy. I mean, I knew what I was doing, but also yeah, shame on you not to this level. I thought it was going to be like zach Bell zany and it was more like midori days. Like it was a bad time.
There's nothing good about it.
Don't worry, listeners. I already checked off now on the continue watching sheet. It's just objectively garbage.
Yeah, we'll get that out of the way.
No suspense, no, not even an illusion of it.
Don't need it, maestro.
Here we go. Episode one starts off surprisingly. It's a weird trend, I've noticed, of the first episode of anime not having the opening. So I'm always surprised when we do get one in the first episode. But yeah, it starts off right with the opening. Pretty standard opening. A lot of the characters just montage in front of you. One character zooms in on the tit. Someone's like teddy check that off on the binger card at the opening. That's a bad sign. And a lot of the characters introduce, none of them appealing. And it starts off with a girl spinning around naked in this bubbly green liquid wishing that she was loved. Weird.
Don't we all?
And then a kid buys a melon soda, but like, he's doing like, foreplay and dirty talk with the soda vending machine, and it's uncomfortable that it continues. It's bad that it happened. It's bad that it's a running thing in the ship.
This guy, he looks and acts like a hentai protagonist, but he's like, not in a hentai. So it's that much worse.
Just barely right off the bat. They had to be like, hey, this guy, he's going to sexually harass vending machines. Keep that in mind when you meet any other character.
That's the standard.
Yeah. So he gets a soda from the vetting machine. It eats his change. He onto that for a bit. He goes home and we see his collection of soda cans. Weird. And he laments about how he wants a girlfriend. Like any good anime character protagonist goes to drink the melon soda after taking a nice bath. So he's just strutting around naked. And upon drinking the soda can, a girl appears and he's kissing her.
Wow.
No, I love walking around just soaking wet after a hot shower and drinking old soda.
I live by myself. It's nothing great. I don't get people who just like, I don't know why this is a trend and stuff. It's like, your floors are going to get ruined. And so, yeah, he drinks the soda. The soda magically turns into a girl that he's kissing. She screams and shoves him away because he's naked. Makes sense. He's like, ah, this is a dream. Which his defense is a fair assumption. And then he starts getting real gross and pervy and inspecting her. And he's like, if this is a dream, you are my toy now. It's like, all right, now we're not defending this guy. And she hits him with a melon attack where she just shoots a melon, like energy melon from her hand and blows him up naturally, of course. And we cut to a businesswoman walking down a hallway to her boss's office. And we see a guy running out of her boss's office without his shirt on. Cry, bad sign. She walks in and there's just a silhouetted glasses man behind the desk and a big clock over his head that says, I love men. I had to check off the gay on the bingo card. But with a note saying the worst kind.
The worst kind. This man deserves jail time.
Yeah. This puts in that very, very helpful stereotype that every gay person is also predatory to every person.
It's hilarious. Am I right?
Yeah. We also have a girl in the show who's also pretty predatory and also gay.
Thank you, Brendan. Thank you for showing me this great representation.
I didn't say it was great. Don't put the words in my mouth.
Everybody liked that.
As the woman walks in, she says they have a new empty canned case. And the boss says he already knows about it. He knows about the boy that's involved. And he's licking his lips, and it's just real nasty. Cut back to the girl and the guy. She says him drinking the soda and making contact with his lips freed her from the can. For some fucking reason, he still thinks it's a dream. So he's goofing off and flexing and all this other shit. And she's interested in his empty soda can collection. Why the whole time he's just perverting out because he still thinks it's a dream. She hits him again and then takes his hand and makes him tug on her earring, which is the soda can tab. And when he tugs on it, she turns back into a soda can. She's able to why not? She's able to talk directly into his brain while she's a soda can, but like, I guess only in proximity. And then suddenly the creepy guy and the business lady break into his apartment. They open up the door a little bit and there's like the chain that keeps the door shut and she just comes up with bolt cutters and cuts it. Great. Terrible son. Creepy guy is from the Ministry of Economy and as soon as he sees the main character still on a towel from his bath, he immediately undoes his tie and starts taking off his coat. Great.
He works for the government.
That also makes him bad. As well as being a pedophile predator, he's doubly bad.
I can't wait to reveal which agency, though.
And says the government classified the Magical Soda Can Girls as akikan. There's the title.
They said it.
They said the thing and the government's aware of it and already have an operation planned out for it. And while he's talking, the woman points out, hey, that kid passed out because he started attacking him like a creep. And the guy says, oh, this is better. And the woman slaps him in the face and knocks him out and drags them. Thank God. And they said they'll be back tomorrow. And then when they leave, the kid snaps out of it and takes a drink from the can again, once again transforming the girl with a kiss. And she says she's going to stay with him from now on because where else does she have to go? Next day at school, he talks about he talks to his childhood friend, who introduces herself as it's me, your childhood friend. Thank you.
The dialogue in the show is just so good, where it's like, hey, do you remember me, your childhood best friend that you probably saw yesterday because we were in class together?
She also refers to herself in the third person hate that trope. That's never fun. He talks to her and she asks if she knows about a man he asked if she knows about a man's romance, about living with a girl under the same roof and doing naughty things together. And she gets all flustered thinking he means her. For some reason he's proposing this to her. And then he says the girl isn't normal and uses violence against him. And she still thinks he's talking about her. So she gets upset and starts crying, saying she would never use violence against him. And everyone's staring at them. She's crying and they're like, it's probably that kid, the fucking weird pervert. The classmates in the show aren't wrong. He is a weird pervert. This guy fucking sucks on every level. The guy snaps out, I didn't write anyone's name down. I don't care.
Doesn't matter.
They have an earned name.
No, they don't deserve it. The guy snaps out of his delusion and then generic best friend shows up. He's so fucking generic and unmemorable, even the main character doesn't remember him. And he just fades into he literally fades into scenes because no one cares about this character so much. And then while they're talking, a playing card gets thrown at them by, quote, a guy hating, woman loving witch in the current era.
I can't believe it's me.
Well, no, unfortunately, she's also the predatory offensive stereotype I know. So she comes in and she's all lovey dovey and real gross with the childhood best friend girl, but what a good introduction.
What a good description.
Like, that title got my interest and then the character showed up and I lost it.
Yeah.
Once she appears, she pulls out more blank cards from underneath her skirt. This appears to be a trend with this character for some reason, and she throws them like gambit at the main character, attacking them back home. melan says to drink her so she isn't a can anymore. So she turns back into a girl, but he doesn't want to kiss her again because it's been weird the last few times. She's like, oh, I'll pour you into a glass. It's like, no, idiot, I'm the can, not the juice. It doesn't work like that.
He's like, fine, he's a koolaid man.
No, it's a kool Aid man. Magical girl. So instead he pulls out a straw. That way his lips don't touch, the cancer doesn't transform, and there's just a lot of nasty noises going on when he's drinking the juice with a straw. And she says the juice in her is her life source, but she still wants people to drink it and enjoy it. And he's like, well, if I drank all your life source once, you die. She's like, yeah, kind of. But also, I don't want to be trash and die. It feels weird and contradictory within the same sentence.
Yeah, they do that a lot. The fun thing of these very bad types of anime where it's like, I'm going to say a statement, okay? I'm going to react to that. How could you get that from what I said? And it just like changes on the drop of a hat to be like, no, you're an idiot. Baka baka baca.
It's entrapment dialogue. I want you to say this thing, and then when you say that thing, I'm going to react and be disgusted. It is a weird trend, but she says if he refills her with the same kind of juice, she can keep going. So he just has to top her up like a car.
Please don't say top her.
So he goes out and buys more juice and refills her up. And then he bought another soda for himself. And she's mad. He's drinking something else. And then she goes to throw away his soda can collection. And in retaliation, he turns her into a can and puts her in the closet. Shut the door. And I come back the next day. He comes back saying, I know. I got a plan. I figured out a solution. You'll be my maid for life. And then drinks her to turn her back into a girl with this great new, very pervy plan. And this time the soda was left out and open in the closet all night. So not carbonated and more not carbonated anymore. And it's kind of room temperature. So when she appears, she's pale and unconscious because she is just soda. And he breathes into her. He says it's cpr. It's not. He just breathes in her mouth. And this recarbonates her because it's carbon dioxide.
Yeah, that's how it works.
That's how it works.
You're drinking soda and it gets fly. Just blow some bowls.
That's where I saw this anime. It was in a cpr training I took.
Oh, you want to get a refund on that class. So she's brought back to consciousness and starts crying, saying he'll drink all of her life energy. And then she'll just be trashed, be thrown away. And he says, I won't throw you away. And I'm going to tame you like the wild horse you are. And she hits them again because why the fuck would you say that? And he says, I got an idea. I'll call you this. This is the name of my family's, old dog. And she's like, why the fuck would you call me that? He's like, wait, I got a better idea. Let me call you Melon, because you're Melon Soda. And it's like, no shit.
That is my name.
Yeah. And then we get the ending. And it's a character we haven't even met yet, just skipping along with a cat and just everything sucks.
Everything sucks.
Everything sucks. That time to be had by all.
It's like the lego Movie where everything's awesome, but the opposite, where it's animated.
So we start out episode two with a dream, a vision of the future, a flashback. Either way, main character, Boy, shoots someone truly. Let's see where that fits in.
Out of left fucking field.
I'm sure they have great justification for it, though. Anyway, so he wakes up immediately, drinks the can, and gives melan a kiss. And they argue, oh, why did you kiss me? That's the only reason I'm here. blah. And she blasts him. haha. So we see mellon's watching baseball on TV. And Boy, of course, she's not allowed to do anything without his wise criticism. So he's like, why are you watching TV? You're watching baseball? I bet you don't even know how baseball works. Let me man explain baseball to you. And she's like, oh, yeah? Well, I got nowhere to go. So guess I'll sit here and watch TV.
Soda can get off my dick.
She's like, yeah, well, I can't really exert any real energy because I'll just deplete all my juice. So he's like, I guess she's lonely. She's stuck at home. My housewife needs a hobby.
She's home stuck.
How did you make it worse?
You. It's what I do.
So we see the government agency guys, he gets the file on this kid who's associated with can and more pedophile stuff we don't need to go into details on. But he recognizes the school that he goes to, I guess.
Sure.
So Boy goes to school, where he finds his obsessed friend, and he's like, hey, I got to beg a favor of you. Oh, you got to help me out. If you help me out with this thing, I'll do whatever you want. And she's like, oh, boy. Whatever I want? Horny. He's like, so your family is rich, right?
Good stuff.
I love her.
She's just like, yeah, yes, absolutely. And he's like, well, I need help getting someone enrolled in this school. We'll see how this plays out. Sorry. Just reading through my notes, I was like, where am I at? Oh, God. And just having the memories come flushing rushing back to my brain is bad. Okay.
It had to take a minute.
Yeah. Basically, he wants mellon to go to school, so she stops wasting away at home, and he can keep an eye on her.
Sure.
So back at home, we see the government man breaks in with a chainsaw and confronts Boy and Melon. So his big role keeping tabs of all this, like, can girl conspiracy. He's from the ministry of the economy specifically to help figure out if the country should keep using aluminum cans or steel cans.
He's on the job.
Why?
Fucking riveting riveting. The ultimate motivation of this government official is we're using two different types of metal for the same product. That's too confusing.
It definitely feels like a government thing.
So we get a little bit of an info dump where he says, yeah, we don't want to have both aluminum and steel cans on the market. Also, there's these magic girls that are associated with the cans. Don't worry about that. We're both mad about the can thing. We have aluminum mines that are just wasting away. We need to shut them down if we don't need them.
Actual magical girls a footnote irrelevant.
Yeah, don't worry about that. It's a byproduct. anyways. So we need to recruit your Melon girl onto the Aki Khan elect committee. What is that, you might ask? It's the can juice girl fighting ring, where they're going to just battle it out to see last can standing. Whatever type of metal that is, that's the one that stays.
Like that bell in that regard.
So mellon girl is like, oh, I'll actually be valued and respected. All right, sign me up, cause fuck this guy. And government man is like, oh, well, you may want to have this boy on your side after the incident.
He's not afraid to use a gun.
Yeah. So we get more flashbacks to that murder dream with and boy gets mad that he even brought it up and kicks them out. And he's like, no, Melon, you can't fight to defend yourself. You got to go to school so I can make some pervy jokes at you. That's where your true service to humanity lies. So next day, mellon joins the class. She's his cousin from Denmark.
Bands for student check.
Yes. And all the classmates are like, oh, what's Denmark like? Are you really related to that fucking pervert? Watch out. He's the fucking worst.
Do you need somewhere to stay?
I like how concerned they are.
We don't know you are a stranger to us, but just knowing that you are in his home, we are concerned for you. Also, root for this main character audience. anyways, so mellon's mad at the boy. He's, of course, being a shithead, whatever. And his friend is like, oh, mellon, don't be mad at the boy. You don't know how hard he fought for you to have me pay for you to come to the school, by which he just begged me. And then I got horny and was like, all right, whatever you want real hard.
I just sent four.
Yeah. So Friend goes back to the boy and is like, you know that favor you now owe me? I'm so absolutely horny. You said you would literally lick my feet. But what I really want is for you to buy me lunch at the school cafeteria. What a romantic date. And naturally he's like, that's so much work, though. Oh, you don't even need it. You're rich. Oh, you really want me to do all that? And just immediately, she convinced the school to bring in this unlisted child. And he's like, I really can't get you mac and cheese and tater tots from the cafeteria.
I know I said anything.
How much is it? 150.
You know, I got that school debt. They won't let me have anything else.
He spends all my money on buying soda can girls.
Yeah. He's like, all right, I guess I will do this if you'll shut up and leave me alone. Best friend. Hey, melan, you want to come? And of course, friend is devastated because it's supposed to be a date. And she's like, all right, I guess I'll invite horny witch girl too. They go to lunch. They're all eating together. mellon is terrified because she's like, hey, I'm juice. I can't eat food. It's vampire rules for me. Apparently.
Turns to ash in my mouth.
So they get there, and which girl, of course, is like, oh, well, if the friend isn't being treated right, I guess I could treat her right. Just gross. And because the friend is like, hey, melan, you should probably eat something. And she's like, no, I can't. You don't understand how hard it is for me, and runs off.
Could I just say I ate earlier, dad didn't have to beat this dramatic. Yeah.
So she runs and hides in the.
Walk and freezer every school pass.
Of course, it's comforting for her to be cold, so checks out, I'll give you that internal logic. But Boy follows her, and they argue about why he brought her to school. You're just here to ridicule me. And then friend also finds them and walks in as they're fighting, but it looks like they're kissing. She's jealous of who she thinks is his cousin.
It's okay. They do that in Denmark.
Yeah. Read hamlet. It's fine. So Friend walks in as well, and oh, no. She closes the door, and the latch breaks off. They're stuck in the freezer. Oh, I guess they got a huddle for warmth. Means yeah. Boy gives Friend jacket, being like, oh, I'm too fucking ripped and got too big of a fucking hog to get old. So while they're locked in, they're like, hey, we ended up at it twice. Do you want to talk about that murder thing? So they explained the murder thing?
Yeah.
Boy okay. Friend girl in middle school gets kidnapped. Naturally, we see her get kidnapped, like, on a sidewalk, but the kidnappers bring her into their classroom. Real dream logic here. They're holding her human shield gun to her head. But then middle school boy shows up, wrestles the gun away from the three adult men, and shoots several of them, non fatally.
The end of it's clear they didn't die. Okay, I missed that in my head.
Those men are dead.
They definitely this kid murdered.
I thought so, too. The whole build up was just that everything we saw in, like, the flashbacks, but the additional detail of, oh, we're not actually going to make our main character a murderer. He just shot them and got in trouble because everyone thought it was his fault. Even though three adult men with gunshot wounds ran away and no one thought anything of it.
He got an in school suspension for.
This child shot me.
Arrest him. Officer will do. Criminal.
Yeah, we have a witness that says that these three guys were kidnappers, but we don't need to listen to her. She's a girl, so, yeah, we get the backstory. He was blamed. Oh, he's so noble. That's why she's in love. And they all trip on each other. They fall over. It looks like they're having sex. Someone comes in and sees them and is like, oh, great, this boy's fucking his cousin and his best friend. Cool. Then we get a hint of a new canned girl, and the episode ends. It's fine.
Like, I was exiled from the town after that is, after I saved my childhood friend from Kidnappers at gunpoint. Everyone hated me. What is it?
Because anyone interacted with you after that and was like, yeah, it doesn't balance out. This guy fucking sucks.
I think they hated him before this. It just this is what he blames it on.
They all hated him, and then he shot some guys.
Yeah, we do hate him.
So let's see what hot garbage happens with this hot garbage because they're cans of soda or whatever. Episode Three hello, Grape Child. What if that was the name of this episode of the anime? Enter Grapechild. They see her as they're leaving the school. He calls her undeveloped, and I want to die. He's like, oh, that's a kid. But what if I could fuck her?
Come back in ten years. That didn't need to be said.
Ever so melan and Grape have a stare down. Grape asks if she's a steel can, revealing that steel cans tabs are on their left ears and aluminum cans are on their right ears, so they can tell the difference.
Sure.
He asks her if the tabs on your left ear you're gay.
He asks her if she's doing that aki can fight or whatever. She introduces herself. Her name is poodoo, but I'm going to keep calling her Grape. She's mad that mellon knew she was Grape juice. She's just like, your grape juice. And then they square up, and Boy looks up and realizes that everyone else is looking at them, which makes him, like, nerve. I don't know. Fucking I don't know, whatever. So he suggests that my reputation is.
So good, everyone thinks he's a pedophile, which, to be fair, he kind of is.
Yes.
He suggests they go somewhere else. And Grape says, okay, because this guy told me I'm not allowed to cause trouble with other people. And she's talking about the spectacled. Government man. So they go to a theater or auditorium or something, and they get ready to fight. grape's attack is that she spits grape seeds at her opponents, and mellon just takes one of her grapes and does it back at her. She pulls out a water gun and sprays some grape juice, but mellon puts her finger on it and diverts the stream. And then Grape pulls out a can of grape juice and drinks it to replenish her power. More grapes appear in her hands.
Are these some vampires? The equivalent of us be taking a blood bag out and siphoning off that? I'm trying to make it interesting. Sorry. Go ahead.
No, that's fine. Oh, God, I lost. So she gets more grapes. She throws one and explodes. Makes, like, just a perfect circular hole in the ground. And now they fight. Boy stops mellon from attacking her big because she's a kid, but because he also doesn't want her to fight and then calls her a total idiot.
His words what the child is supposed to do. Man.
The grape girl flees the government. People are by a pool discussing what happened. Glasses guy does a creepy thing. What's new? daiji wants to fuck a child. That's his name. I wrote it in my. Notes. He's like, they're walking home. And he's like, once she's older, she can please me. And then melan gets mad, but not because of that. mellon gets mad because he doesn't understand the canned girls feelings. And he says, you don't understand my feelings. And then she leaves.
Yes, because she's not a pedophile.
She's also a can. He goes to the vending machine and talks to it because he's fucking stupid. Friend girl sees him. She asks him why he's out late flirting with a vending machine. And he says, it's my hobby. I love talking to things with female voices that can't talk back to me.
This machine can't slap me.
She says, he's amazing. He says, I talk to this because it helps me with my communication skills. And she says, oh, my god, you're so smart. And then she asks if he's going home. And he's like, actually, can I sleep over at your place? And she's like, hawaiian. And he's like, oh, we'll just study. We'll have a study session. So they get there, and it's like, messy. There are books. There are magazines everywhere. And he's upset because it doesn't line up with his fantasy of a rich girl's bedroom. She makes some tea. He's like, why don't you throw any of this garbage out? She's a hoarder. She's like, I just don't want to waste anything. Even to the point where she reuses tea leaves and he spits out the tea. Oh, no, he's dirty now. Better getting it. Get in the bathroom. She mentions melan and he looks upset for a second and then says some nasty shit again. And then he goes to take a shower. She brings him a towel and she's like, hey, why don't you turn away and sit down? And I was like, oh, she's going to scrub his back. This is a thing. This is a thing in anime, I'm sure. I mean, it's probably like an act of intimacy in real life, but it's bad in this. So she goes in to scrub his back, of course. And she's like, what's wrong? Didn't we used to do this as kids? And he's like, no, I'll get a boner now.
Stop it.
He's flustered. So she's happy that he still seems to have feelings for her. She scrubs his back, putting her titties all over him. And she wants to repay him for the murder that he did.
Killing three men.
He protected her. And he's like, oh, well, you saved me plenty of times. And it was at this point in my notes I said, I don't care. God, I don't care. Because they keep trying to have these, like, serious touching moments. It's like, what are you doing?
Why are you even trying?
It's a checklist. They're just going out of the checklist while making the show.
Yeah, and he jokes about her giving up her body to him. And she's like, okay. And he's like, what? No, I didn't mean it.
You called my bluff.
I'm horny, but I can't have sex. That's too much. He accidentally turns on the water. oops. Now her white t shirt is all wet.
Oops.
So then he goes back out there. She's changed her clothes, and the redhead witch lesbian from school is there. And she thinks that they fucked in the shower. And she's like, what the heck? And then she feels up school friend, and it's like, good, which is bad. That's a bad thing. Shouldn't be happening. But then that other boy is there and he's homophobic about it. So fuck that guy. He's like, girls can't do what?
One person that says, hey, you shouldn't be doing that is still shitty. Because he's like, you shouldn't be doing that because girls can't do it. That's not you shouldn't be doing that.
For benefiting from this physical exchange. So stop it.
Stop it. So they're like hanging out. Main boy argues with the redhead. Nothing matters. They have snacks and drinks. I'm like, is another girl going to come out of a can right now? That would be exciting. He grabs a can, but he can't drink it because it's too painful to remember melon.
It's cheating.
And then friend girl drinks it and gets drunk because she gets drunk uncarbonated drinks. Okay, cool.
I feel like this is also a dumb trend that's happened in anime because it's like, we want to get a character drunk, but they're a child, so we need a loophole. So here's a made up condition.
Vile.
Can be overt drunkenness in children.
Oh, no, off limit. That's too far. So she, of course is drunk, so she wants to take her clothes off. And then she's like, do you love me? And he's like, Well, I mean, like, I don't hate you. And she's like, oh, why won't you say you love me? And she wants a kiss. And then the redhead girl kicks him in the face. And then she pulls out real alcohol and gets drunk in solidarity or something. And she's like, please kiss me, girl. And girl says, no, that's disgusting. Two girls can't kiss. So then she gets really upset, and the main boy is being angsty outside, and he bought a melon soda earlier to replenish his melon girlfriend. Melon girlfriend's life essence. There should be a drink called that. I would drink that.
Melon girlfriend's life estimates that's what the original name of this show was.
This was the merch. It was just to sell that drink. This is just a twelve episode long commercial.
So we see mellon in the street looking at a crumpled up soda can, probably in her head being like, this is me. This is how I feel. And then a guy comes up and tries to flirt with her, and she launches some melon bombs at him. And then school friend is at the vending machine and she gets another soda and it unleashes. Another soda girl. Well, she's a sports drink. Girl. So because she drank the can, she was kissing her when she came out of the can. And that makes her very upset because it was her first kiss. And that's the end.
Are we there yet?
I literally hated this.
Hey, that's fair. It's garbage. But like, in a bad way.
This is the worst thing we've watched, in my opinion. Because not only is it like, bad all around, it's also ugly.
Yeah.
It's not even nice to look at.
Yeah. I have learned that anime with this specific font for subtitles is.
Unofficial subtitles. Because I did see a typo in there at one point.
Yeah.
Yeah. The translation at points I took a screenshot of one. We don't need to get into it. I just needed proof. I was like, I'm sitting here. I had it paused for like a good two minutes. I was like, this is nothing. This doesn't make any coherent sense. And it was mostly government pedophile, man. Like, he tried to talk big and official and in doing so was just unintelligible. And I don't think in a, like joke way in like, we can't even translate this. So it was just bad.
It was bad.
It it feels very unofficial fans translation back in like the late 80s, early 90s, when you had to scour the internet for that stuff back in the day and or send people vhs tapes through the mail. Because I can't imagine any studio willing to spend money to translate this. Because fuck it. Why would you be surprised? That's what I mean. There's twelve episodes of this, so I'm astonished and made it that far. And the other shows we've watched, some of them just dropped off in episode three, but yeah. D messes me last night. Like, while watching this. Like, this might be the worst. I was like, worse than this one? Or this one? Or this other bad one? It's like yeah, it's like it just.
Was like I don't know.
I don't think there's other things.
Like the high school prodigies one is like it's dumb and ridiculous, but it also doesn't try to be heartfelt.
It at least was modern enough where it didn't look like shit. It was shit, but it didn't look like shit. I usually find some redeeming quality of any amount, even if it's just like the music. That has nothing to do with the show. This has, honest to God, nothing good.
Yeah.
So to stop talking about this, I can introduce what we're watching. Next week. We have a recommendation from Robert Anderson. We're going to watch tatami galaxy.
How neat.
It seemed like the least hurtful on our list. Well, at least the recommendation list. I googled some things and I was like, a little too much risk for psychic damage. This one at least seems to be respected.
A rare one for anime.
Well, that's good.
Yes. If you, the listener, have a respectful anime one that you would call your parents about?
Yeah, an anime you would take on the mom.
Yeah. I've been deeply disrespected this week, so we need to build up the coffers, so if there's any recommendations, you can send them to us. Our email is Are we there yet? It@gmail.com we got a couple of recent submissions, so we're building up the hopper. My brain is putting sorry, I just need a brief moment to reflect.
Catch yourself.
You can find us on social media at Are we There Yet? On Instagram and Twitter. Or don't find me on the Internet to save me.
Sure, you can find me on the Internet if you want to on Instagram at honey. Period d or on Twitter at honey d eight and honey d art and honey is spelled H-U-N-N-I-E. Find me on.
Twitter apologizing profusely for the rest of my life for this fucking episode.
This is your greatest sin.
It's up there, like, I've done bad, but this one is really up there.
Holiday even.
Brendan. You can't feel too bad when this was a cold shot, when you're like, hey, we're going to have a bad time next week. You can't feel like, whoa, we had a bad time. No. You're in trouble, Mr.
I mean, yeah, you're right. It's the citizen bar low. So that way when it's my birthday again and we come back to Digmont for the fourth time, I go, hey, see, it's not that. It wasn't that again. abt has printed on Twitter.
Thank you to camille ruley for our artwork, and thank you to Louis zong for her theme song stories. You can find all of louie's music at Louisong dot bandcamp.com. Thank you, and we hope you'll join us next week as we learn to live with anime.
At least she wants it like a ramey bottle.
Oh, we got, like, a little ball strangling around inside her.
Yeah.
It could have been worse.