Hello, and welcome to our week. There yet in exploration and education and anime. I'm your anime idiot, patrick dugan.
I'm an anime expert, dana hollander.
And I'm brenda mccullough, your anime digi destined kid in America and birthday boy. So you got to put out with my boy of shit today.
Happy Birds.
Did a copyright?
Not anymore.
I mean, not really, but I still say it to get people to stop singing it.
Even in public spaces?
Absolutely public spaces.
Hey, that's copywritten.
You can't do it to me. Hey, we're in a very legitious city right now. We can't risk it.
Copyrighted, whatever.
So, yeah, we got birthday boy in the house. What you picked for is birthday boy. What's the gift you're giving us this week?
No, this is a gift for me. I don't care about you guys this week. This is my episode.
I can tell from what you picked.
Wow. Okay, sass, right off the bat, we're watching the first Digimon movie because I fucking love Digimon. I am completely biased towards it. I have no objectivity towards it. I don't care how bad it is. I love Digimon.
If you think you're alone, you're not. I had a digi advice.
I had 158 of those inch high Digi figures, and I have a full list of them because I sold them in my Digimon briefcase. That was also a board game, and also it was filled with Digimon trading cards.
We get it.
You win.
All I had was a digibune.
Okay, I'm sorry. This is, like, my thing. All my friends hated it, so it was very personal to me.
I remember I watched the anime as a kid, but I remember just, like, a snapshot of an episode, and that's all I got.
Yeah, I have vivid memories of watching the third season as well as the beginning of the fourth season, which they stopped showing and then went back to the third season. So then I stopped watching it.
Oh, interesting.
Yeah, it was weird.
Third season got dark, thirst. Season got real dark.
It was wild.
It was great. But this is all about the first season, the originals. And then recently, I believe last year, they did Digimon Try, which is, like, not a reboot, but it's a continuation of the original Digi Destined Kids, and.
They tried to get more money from it.
Ha ha. And it worked. They got all my money. So, yeah, this is kind of the core group, the initial group, and this is just a movie, but it was originally in Japan as three, I guess, small movies or featurets. And then in the American release, they just cut them all together into one movie. That's why it's going to feel a little jump on it's going to feel a little janky between those parts and not going to even try to defend those parts. But I love it.
All right, well, shall we digitize ourselves? Jump in the computer and be one with our friends.
Dana mon Digevolve two four year old dana.
I just got back from the hospital. They gave me a neck brace from all this whiplash. Just trying to follow this goddamn thing.
Wow.
I apologize for nothing.
Digi monster. Digital monsters did. You champion.
I forgot entirely about the Digi rap in the beginning of this movie.
How could you?
I really wish I memorized rap. It's dope as fuck. Oh, God. If you didn't watch this movie, at least watch the intro. It's all on YouTube, by the way. The entire movie is on YouTube because no one's taking this down, because no one cares about this movie anymore but me. But at least watch the Digi rap in the beginning. That alone is some great a 90s rap anime rap.
I forgot to ask before we started recording if we were going to talk about the Angela Anaconda thing.
Of course you're watching about the Angela Anaconda segment.
No, I refuse to acknowledge this.
I skipped it. As soon as she turned into as soon as she started cough playing tie, I was like, I don't have time on this.
Fine.
I guess I'm the only dedicated member of the show that watched this entire goddamn movie.
This is part of the movie? Yeah.
That was the one segment that didn't make sense in this goddamn thing.
It didn't make sense. I just dipped out. I was like, I can't do this.
Don't have the patience for this bullshit.
Angela Anaconda was an icon in a revolutionary experiment in animation, and I will not have the slander on this show.
Angela Anaconda was a mistake in an abomination that deserves to be cleansed from.
The history books, connected from the call right now.
I guess I'm Switzerland in this because I really don't have a lot of feelings about Angela Anaconda.
We're just moving past it.
Fine.
Whatever.
Questions I have why do those popular girls want to see the Digimon movie?
Because it's a good movie.
Because all the teens are talking about it.
Are they teens?
Children?
Yeah, from ages two, four. The teacher also there because it's a good movie.
Digimon transcends age. Clearly. We have Brendan here, a full adult, still madly in love.
Well, like adult in quotes. Like, let's not be too generous with that term.
How old are you now? 40?
28.
I'm kidding.
I mean, I also make super old references, but also love childhood nostalgia, so I really don't know anymore.
You're a mess. Yeah, you're a messy.
All right, what is going on? The Digimon movie, the digit anaconda ruined meimon.
It starts with the Pokey wrap. And my favorite thing about that Digi rap it's a Pokey wrap. I'm so sorry.
It's the pokey wrap.
It's a digger wrap.
They don't list any Digimon, so it's not like the Pokey wrap at all.
Yeah. Great song. Terrible visual sequence in this. It's just the digima.
Yeah, I was about to say my favorite thing about this opening sequence is that it just chooses the words that have the prefix Digi. And then it just throws them up on the screen.
Yeah. And then the main cast of Digimon just, like, fade in and then fade out because they're still images. It's like OOH this quality. Yeah.
Their clip art level of animating in all the Digimon, it's clear. Just like shaking it around the screen to be like, look, we animated it.
It's clearly that this part was added for the American cut because it's a full movie and this wasn't in the original small three ones, so it's a little rough.
Yeah. But as soon as I heard this, I was like, I have to turn this down. I don't want anyone to know I'm watching this. Also, the nostalgia was just like a flip turned a flip a switch turned on in me, and I was like.
Oh, my goal is years.
I remember the fourth opening best. It was not a rap. It was very, like, poppy.
Yeah. The fourth season gets weird.
Look to the past and head for the future to reclaim the digital world. Okay, so it starts I'm already lost cary's, the narrator. She's a small, small child in the first part. I love her. She's baby.
Itty bitty everyone's.
Baby, baby. And then they mention other Digidestin people because she's just saying, like, this is where Digimon started. We all got our Digimon at the same time. We're called digi destined. And my favorite part is when she's like, this is willis. He lives in America. He has two friends. They're both digimon.
He'll be important.
Only friends.
They're his only friends, and he lives in Colorado.
This information won't be relevant for another.
Hour, but thanks for telling us anyway. carrie set it up early, and then they're in their apartment, her and ty. cari and ty are siblings. And they're both real cute. Little bad. I love them. But Car is just saying, what's going on? Pretty much. She's shown as a very small baby. She's got a whistle and she's watching an egg come out of the computer. A digi egg.
That's where digimon come from. When a mommy Digi and a daddy diggie love each other very much.
So ty comes out of his comes out of the room and he's like, what are you doing up, cary? And then she takes the egg. And I forget. If something happens between this and the next morning, I don't think anything really happens.
Not really. It shows the electronics kind of freaking out when the ditch egg appears.
Oh, yeah.
That's about it.
Yeah. And then the next morning, ty wakes up and cary is sleeping with the.
Egg cuddle to keep it warm.
Yeah. This whole part, this whole beginning 15 minutes is just me being like, look at the face.
And I was talking with a friend. I think that's why my hero. academia is so effective for getting endearing characters because we see almost all the main casts as small toddlers and babies. And it's just like, yeah. Oh, I want to see you succeed and grow as a human being. You're so cute. I think it's a very endearing thing to just show them as, like, toddlers.
So it's the next morning and they're eating breakfast and kari is at her high chair and she's holding the egg. And then it leaves her arm somehow, like, without her noticing. And it's rolling around.
It's all over the place.
Yeah, it's rolling around all by itself. And this is the point where I asked myself, why does cari have to have a whistle?
I guess they're trying to wean her off of a pacifier. Maybe.
Well, later when spoilers. But the Digimonta, when it starts talking, she's talking to it and ty says, like, oh, you only whistle at me, but you'll talk to the digimon.
Yeah. Maybe it's like a security sort of comforting thing for her.
Yeah. I feel like maybe they want her to communicate with them, but she doesn't want to talk, so she whistles instead or something. Yeah, that's the impression I got.
That's a lot more depth than the people who wrote this thought.
Yeah, probably. But so it's rolling around, they follow it into their room and it hatches. And it reminds me of jasper. It's just a little my cat. It's just a little black blob with orange eyes, very fuzzy. And it starts singing the show's theme song, which is another just another moment of me being like, why?
Why not?
Just as much brand tie ins as they can make.
Yeah.
Hey, listen, this is like early dubbing we had to fill that time.
Oh, yeah, it was an early dub.
Oh, yeah. I forgot to mention that Tie just has, like, a full grown man's voice.
Oh, yeah, the voices will change. Yeah. They don't even change the pitches or anything.
Yeah. And then carrie starts feeding it chocolate bars and then she takes the cat's food. And I was like, that's nice. And then it did evolve and it's not cute anymore. How good? I don't like this middle stage.
It went from Bodemon to Coramon, and.
Now it's a pink bunny looking thing that doesn't have any feet. It's just a head with ears.
It's like kirby. But if it's feet with ears and just elongated, it's like kirby, but worse. Yeah.
Upside down kirby.
There are a lot of things that are worse than kirby because kirby is perfect. And then shit kind of goes wild. And then that one song starts playing.
You have to be more specific because there are some fucking bangers.
It's the funk funk soul.
Where is it? I wrote it down. Yeah.
Fat Boys play it. Yeah, that song started playing and this is right up so many notes I have in this document that just says, why is this music playing?
Because it's the 90s. Well, early two thousand s and we licensed the shit out of the music.
Yeah, but so things are kind of going wild and that's playing. So this is where the fever dream really started.
Oh yeah.
It hasn't kicked in yet.
Yeah. I think the gist of what's happening in this commotion is that they took the cat's food and the cat is not happy about it. So the cats like trying to get the food back something.
Yeah. Fighting for the food bowl.
That's about the tip of it. So after the commotion, the cat takes the food back and then kari is like, who are you? And then it's like, I'm koraman. And I was like, oh, I hate it.
You disgust me. You lost it.
There has to be a lie. pokemon. Because they're pets. Like pokemon are pets. All they can say is their own.
They don't talk. They're animals. miguel can talk.
These are two sentient. That's the problem.
You two can talk. Yeah, Lucario can talk.
Well, these all talk and not all of them are smart enough to deserve to talk.
Sorry, I just learned Lucario can talk. We'll get to that.
Look at differently. I mean, it's like telepathy anyway. Yeah. Digimon aren't pets, they're companions. Like that's a clear differentiation between pokemon and Digimon is like they're not just like this little animal I can pet and play with. It's like this is like my friend soulmate fursona.
Anyway, I mean, the other ones, like later on are much more endearing. Yeah, I think there's just something about Coramontex that I just really don't like.
Yeah. There's the baby form, which is the botan that we saw earlier, which are all adorable. And then the in training form, which are this level. And Coramon's definitely kind of the gnarliest of the lot, so yeah.
Yeah. But it says you're the best friends I've ever had. And Curry says, we're the only friends you've ever had.
It's fair point.
Fair checks out. And then this boy is just evolving. Did you evolving so fast?
Well, fast.
Cause then he turns into the one that I remember best and love the most. And I can't remember the name of it.
Aguman.
Agumon. I love agumon.
It's corona.
It's a big orange dino boy.
Yeah. Koroman's just in the bed and he kind of just starts freaking out and then it cuts away and cuts back and he's just already fully formed and it's a big augum on. That's a big lad.
Yeah, he is. What's the word? unusually large wombo.
Too big wombo.
They set it to W for wombo.
Yeah.
I think in the narration at this point, tai is like, this isn't the one that becomes our friend.
And I'm like, oh yeah, this is a different auguman.
Yeah. And then I thought about the line of dige evolution that this thing went through and I was like, this aesthetic just doesn't make any sense.
No. Yeah.
It's almost like they're just like what's another monster that sort of kicks things.
Up a little bit more.
But it doesn't need to make sense.
The eyes and teeth are similar to cormann and augumon.
That's true. I guess I'm defending the shit colors.
I have grip animal. I have problems with the digimon evolution system. But we'll get to that.
Dig evolution system.
Oh, me too. At the end. Okay. But so things start going buck wild again. Yeah. And kari rides off on this big auguman, jumps out the wind. kay is like, kari, excuse me. You're like two, you're a one.
Baboo, get back here.
Yeah.
And a little koala onesie.
So cute. And let's see. Then things start freaking out again and there's just a big egg.
Big old egg.
Very big egg coming down from the sky. And I was very worried because the egg was like as big as the sky. And I was like, this is the end of the world. How is there more after this?
It's just the beginning.
But then the digimon that comes out of the egg is not nearly as big as the egg.
Still pretty large, though.
Still pretty large. It is a bird type thingy.
It's parrot mon.
Is that really what it's called?
Yeah. Hey, there's a lot of them. We're going to run out of some good names.
All right, we have can opener mon, spinny thing opens cans. Great.
Yay.
There's something similar.
I can guarantee that it was at this point my notes are already bad. But pretty much what happens is Thai chases after kari, auguman leaves kari and then he goes to fight the parrot mon. And he did evolve again.
Yeah.
To war Graymon.
It's Greymon, but Greymon. Technically this is red Greymon because it's a different variation of Graymond and it's so much bigger than usual. I just want to get my facts straight with Digifacts.
Oh, God.
I will give you a heads up. I have no names for these goddamn things because they're nonsense and they all change within five minutes.
I don't remember them.
So they start fighting and I said, who needs endgame when you can just watch this failure?
All the drama you need.
Pacific rim. Meet your heart.
Yeah, I mean, it's pretty cool. They start fighting. I still don't like that they talk. The parrot starts talking. Shit.
Your grandma come out of me, you bitch.
They fight and honestly, I forget how the fight ends. I guess red Graymon wins because the bird doesn't wreak much more havoc.
Paramount hits them and knocks Graymon out. And Carry and tyrone up to him to try and get them back up and motivate them. And Carry trying to blow her whistle but she that's the saddest. She can't blow her whistle. That's why I remember she's having trouble and in the show she's actually canonically, like sick. I think she has asthma or something else in the show. So she actually is struggling to breathe through the whistle, and ty takes it. He's like, I can do it, and just lets out this huge whistle and that waist greyman up, and he just goes at Paramount and they both attack and it explodes in a big flash of light.
Okay.
Yeah.
See, what I remember is just how sad I was when cari was trying to blow her whistle, but she couldn't.
She's so little.
And they reminded me it made me feel the same way as when in the rugrats movie. Tommy is all by himself and dee dee and stu are singing dill to sleep.
Oh, no.
He just gets very sad and he tucks his dad's sleep.
Hold it together, hold it together, hold it together.
That's what it made me feel like. So I just couldn't focus on anything other than that. That's pretty much like the gist of the beginning, chunk and kari being like, well, that's how it started.
We also get the theme music playing during the big height of the battle. And God damn it if I don't love that trope every time I'm a soccer for it.
Yeah, I hope that made sense to you all, because that was the simplest part of this.
It gets more confusing from there.
So I'll say I processed about 85%.
Of what was going on.
Brendan, I may need some help.
That's why I'm here, is the one thing I'm good at.
The second part was my favorite, so I probably have okay. Knowledge of this part stored in my brain.
Other parts of clusterfuck.
Yeah, it gets, like, very bogged down with details, but it was the most movie part of this movie.
This is the core of it.
So, yeah. So this is four years later. That was sort of our taste in how Digimon sort of came into this world and got all these characters involved. Now, they're all not all grown up, but they're more grown up. They're in there, like, between age preteen tens, sort of.
Yeah.
So we have a character, izzy, who is tracking a computer virus which is helping to advance a Digi egg on the computer, and it starts to hatch. And we need to just acknowledge how fantastic all this late 90s computer talk is. It is so good.
I want to eat it all up. Very dated.
This happens later. But when they say if we lose our phone connection, we lose the Internet. Oh, wow.
There's just like, the talk about logging onto the Internet. I was like, oh, this won't translate more than five years after this movie.
Yeah, we'll get to all the fun stuff, but, oh, boy, it's great. So we also see ty not all grown up. I need to stop saying that. More grown up chatting with a girl, his friend Sora, who's mad at him because he's an idiot.
He's writing her an email because this is before Instant messenger.
Yeah, he's writing up an email being like, hey, sorry we had a fight. I love you. What?
Sorry.
What? That's it that's her name. cari comes in and hits enter and sends the message. And he's freaking out because it says Love ty, which you don't say to your friends, who's a good girl?
Convey the wrong message. Me out jagged me with a spoon.
But luckily there was an issue with the connection and the email did not go through. And there's a bunch of weird computer glitches related to this virus. And we get a montage set to one week.
It's been one way. This also ties in perfectly with me because the first cd I ever bought was the Bare Naked Ladies album with this song.
This is my second note. What is with the music and this music?
This movie defined me as a fantastic.
It is so good.
I love it so much. It's the best.
So, yeah, we just sort of get a montage of all the gang running around the city and just things in the background starting to go wrong with all the electronics.
Yeah. These are all the Digi destined who are the main cast of the show, but only maybe about half of them are prominent in the movie.
Yeah, so izzy comes over to ty's house and tells them about the Digi egg opening up and it's an unidentified monster that they have not seen before. And it sends them a message saying, I'm hungry. And it starts eating all of the data on the Internet. Oh, no, there's only infinite data on the Internet at this point. It's going to eat the whole Internet.
It's so finite.
So yeah, it's eating up all the data. They show this like weird pacman animation of it trying to eat up all the data and it goes into grocery stores and messes up all their computers and messes up all the prices.
I have to tell you, my favorite scene in the whole movie is the cashier bringing up the chocolate and she says that will be 1 million. Ha. Yeah, that's what it says. That must be really good chocolate. Paper or plastic?
With this early doving. There's just so many just clearly jokes that were written by the translators in the dove cast. Like they clearly was not in the.
Movie, but they're just like, I just love the cadence.
They're just like, hey, we got to fill this time real quick. Hey there's, dead Eric Phil. Joke, joke. I love it.
I love the cadence of paper or plastic.
Yeah, it is clear all the writing went to snappy quips instead of a coherent translation.
Just to be clear, this movie is not for anyone who doesn't love Digimon. This isn't for the general public.
Then why did you make me watch this?
Because it's my birthday.
Because now you're going to love Digimon.
You have a choice.
So they they need more power to keep track of this Digimon eating up the Internet so they steal ties. Dad's, computer to make a landlord.
You're right.
They make a land connection between the two computers because they need more power.
By the time they get back on the internet, they check up on the virus type Digimon. Yeah.
And it it has evolved. kariman, did you follow?
We got to be accurate with the digits. Digi fall.
Yeah, but I said kariman.
Kariman. Yes. carmen is cool.
I was like, Is this the name? And you're like, digi bomb.
Have to be accurate. But yes, it's karma.
Now it's nuclear. They're trying to talk with all their Digimon friends and let them all know that the internet's in danger. No, because this thing wants to eat the whole Internet. So we get ty trying to call up all his friends and they're all unavailable, gets ignored by sora since they're having that fight, matt and Tk, two other kids, are visiting their grandma, like, rural Japan, mimi's in Hawaii, and everyone dammit, mimi vacation at a time like this?
How dare she?
She's the rich one.
Oh, yeah.
So they talk with all the Digimonds on the internet as well, and they're like, oh, this thing's going to fuck up the whole world, so stop it. We'll help. And they're like, cool. All right, so we see aguman and Tentuman.
Tentoman.
Tentoman. So sorry. Now I see how logical that name is. How can I mess it up?
It makes so much sense. He's a robot bug. Why wouldn't he be called tenta? wan.
Not tentacles.
No, nothing.
So they go and through the tubes of the internet, they try to fight karoman. We get a little fight sequence. Everyone's evolving every 30 seconds.
Dig evolving.
Digi evolving.
Oh, my gosh.
I'm doing this.
I refuse to say it just out of principle.
Fair enough. I'll correct you every time.
Fair enough. It seems we have reached an investment.
Unstoppable force meets an immovable object.
More like an insufferable object, so it digitally evolves. Wow, that's nice.
I like that.
We got to keep the show moving. I'll stop.
So they all evolve again and this thing jumps in evolution cycle, so it's extra powerful and it kicks some asses. All the friendly digimons get knocked out.
Yeah. agumon Digvas to grayman. Tantamon digiwa's to kabutariman. But then Koriman like warp Digevolves, which is like skipping a level to infer. Inferman.
Inferman. I was close. I was talking about it with Paul and I called it info mon, which I thought would make sense. It makes sense because it was eating all of the Internet.
No, that's what I wrote down. Because, yeah, that's the logical thing. They should name it, but no, they're not going to do that.
Logic has no place here.
This is digimon.
This is the realm God abandoned.
So Inferman is now attacking all the phone lines. All the phone companies are being attacked. Oh, no. Phone lines are the only way the Internet could work.
If you have to be connected to the phone line.
Oh God. No one can access the internet.
All of the phones are down because this informant is trying to track down someone specific. So it starts calling like everyone in the world. And izzy runs out and we get ty trying to contact everyone again, and izzy comes back with a satellite uplink to connect to the military satellite network.
Real quick, though, I do like when ty is trying to call everyone again and you get the operator like, sorry, the line is busy. Sorry, the line is busy. Sorry, the line is busy.
Does your hair, mcd.
The line is bad. It just yell.
I love that.
Fantastic.
But yeah. So calls everyone and kills everyone's connection and informant jumps to America as ty connects with Matt and Tk in this weird phone tag thing that infuriated me because they weren't actually giving each other information. They're like, hey, what's going on? Hey, come over here. Why there's so much urgency to this and you're being so obtuse with your only friends who can help you?
They're dumb kids.
So in vermont is going to America for something and they finally Matt and Tk run into town and find a computer and they transfer their digimon in to help fight.
Real quick though, I love the infra man in America montage of him just traveling around the country, disrupting electronics and just the sweet SCA playing behind it.
Just yes, delicious SCA playing.
So much SCA in this movie.
Yes, it's the late ninety s. Of course there's ska in this children's movie.
I was talking about it with Paul and he said, did you know that Scott came before reggae? And I said, okay. And he said, that's probably not true. And I said, I don't know enough about Scott to tell you that it's not true.
The biggest thing I was confused about is Who Let the Dogs Out was not in this movie.
I think it must have been, because I'm pretty sure it was written I don't know if it was written for rugrats in Paris, but it came out along with rugrats in Paris.
And it's not a baja Man original song, it's a cover song.
Yeah, I was about to say that's.
The most mindful part.
We cannot talk about baja Man goddamn nonsense. We still have to get through.
But every sequence like that, though, all the montages, I was just like, this just reminds me of that one part.
In Run Rest in Paris, okay?
They go to fight a second time and again, bunch of evolution digilution. Whatever, fuck you. They lose again. And.
It'S also Padamon struggling so much.
And I just hear.
Also it's Padamon and Gabamon show up, they're tk and match ditchman. Anyway. Go on, tks.
Okay, so whatever this monster is now evolves again and it well oh my God. Sorry. This is sort of the pace this movie is going at. I'm struggling to keep up. Okay, so in this. Big fight there. izzie and Matt? Fuck no.
Izzy and tk's digimond.
No. izzy and ty's. Computer crashes, so they lose their connection mid fight, and they aren't there when they reboot it.
They're getting too many emails.
Yeah, they log back in, and they lost the fight. And they start seeing that this monster is multiplying itself, basically to infinity. It's going to just take over everything. So naturally, to fight this digital threat, america launches two nuclear missiles.
All right, little confusion here. Quickly, aguman and gabu Mogovan warped a revolve to their ultimate forms of metal, guru raman and War Graham. On the other two, Patamon Tantamon were knocked out before they could Digolve. And meanwhile, In ferroman did evolve to diabormon his mega form, and he infected.
Terrifying, really.
He infected the American military computer base and, like, the pentagon, and he launched the missiles.
Okay, all of that was hot garbage nonsense, but hopefully you. Let's be honest, no one's still listening to this goddamn nightmare of an audio file.
This is the last episode.
I am feeling personally attacked right now.
This podcast file is infected by inferman. This is just cursed audio. Okay?
It's my episode. It's my happy birthday.
Yeah, happy birthday. Enjoy.
It my gift to you. I ruined the podcast.
So nukes are flying. There's ten minutes before this doubling multiplying of the monster just fills the Internet. I don't know what the purpose of all this is.
Tension, drama.
It's got it all.
I love it.
So they figure out that they need to destroy the original copy of whatever. Say it for me once. What is this current monster's name?
Diabormon.
It's me dio.
Boraman.
It's me dio. It's me dio. It's me dio. Okay, so dookiman is multiplying disrespect.
Oh, my God.
The missiles are somehow redirected, and they figure out that they need to destroy the original. And they're getting so much fan mail. They're getting so many emails from basically everyone is watching this goddamn twitch stream of a nightmare scenario, and they're all just emailing this kid in Japan being like, hey, go beat this thing. But all of the emails they're getting is slowing down the processors, so there's not enough processing power for the Digi mom to keep fighting. So everyone's words of encouragement are actually hurting the scenario. Oh, no. They try to fight, but there's now millions of diablo Man, and they can't do it. So Tie somehow falls in the computer.
I love persona friendship. I love Persona Four.
And he talks to the passed out Digimon digitox. This hurts my soul. It is a million degrees in my room while I'm recording this. I feel like this is a fever dream, okay?
This is what I live for.
He tells them about all the words of encouragement, and that helps to power them up.
And.
It inspires the combination evolution of the two Digimon in the fight, and they combine to omnimon, who is just a big, powerful mech boy.
Just a big boy.
Kills all of the copies. And there's just the original disaster guy left. And Matt has a brilliant idea to forward all of the emails. To where? I don't know, just.
He had his own email address.
He did. He emailed them a few times.
Deohati 69 at@hotmail.com I'm sorry, this is back in the day.
Geocities netscape.
So forwards all the fan mail to slow down the original dog boy and finally slows it down enough that they can kill him with 1 second remaining before the missiles strike and the day is saved. I need to lie down.
And tai's email finally sent, and he apologized for making fun of sora, and she was like, oh, my God. Well, yes.
He didn't apologize for making fun of her. He apologized for throwing up in her hat and not telling her. And then she put the hat on.
No, that was the thing that happened four years ago. This is a different fight. Hair clip.
That's right. That's right.
Yeah, I remember he got her a hair clip and she said, you don't like my hairstyle now? And he was like, no, that's not what I meant. And then she stopped talking to him.
Besides, you're always wearing a hat. It doesn't matter what your hairstyle is. Yeah, that's what happened. Small correction. You said Matt forwarded the emails to die of warrant. It was technically izzy because he's the computer with oh, my God.
I swear to God.
Matt is my favorite. He's the coolest.
Oh, he sucks. He's the moody boyfriend one.
Why do you think I like bitch?
You don't like Joe, the anxious nerd that just doesn't want to be involved with any of this bullshit?
I have two types, and it's Joe.
And.
I don't know anyone's goddamn name.
Joe is the one that was taking that test, and they kept flashing at him, and I was like, I want more.
He's an eda.
Give me more, Joe.
He's an eda of the group. He's only with glasses, and that's the only defining characteristic of them.
More unnecessary cutaways to help complicate this goddamn movie even more, because as you can see from my description, it did.
Not factor in at all well, because even though it's all three of these little movies mashed together, but they cut shit out, so it's just, like, incoherent.
Yeah. I like izzy because he's voiced by mona Marshall, and she don't take no shit from no one. Love her.
Izzy is a good boy. I liked izzy. He ate all of ty's mom's food. Yeah, even though it was gross nasty.
And it poisoned him. That's why he ran away and proved himself.
Anyway, can we go to the next jumbled nonsense disaster, please?
Yes, I can't wait.
Now, this is where things get.
This is where it happens.
This is a messy story.
Oh, no. You may do good. Cry. I don't think we've ever made him cry.
It's a birthday miracle.
It's so hot in this room.
This is the perfect gift.
This is what you wanted, Brendan.
This is what you needed for me. I didn't think you'd like this. I knew you weren't going to like the movie. I didn't think you'd take this much out of your belt. I'm surprised. Okay, part three. During this whole escapade when Diabormont is being killed, we get a cut to of Willis in Colorado celebrating. You remember Willis from the beginning of.
The park from Colorado.
Colorado. From part one that kari talked about. He's off in Colorado celebrating. We won. We defeated the bormann. We're not all going to be newt to death by this dumb virus. And then we just see a bad wind blowing around him and his two Digimon pals, the two twins that came out of the one egg. And it seems we just hear him yell out Cocoa Mon. And then it cuts to present day. And we are this is a second generation of ditchi destined. So this is season two. These are the main characters of that one. And it's Davis, cody and yoli.
I love cody.
He's a very quiet boy. He takes kendo.
Hey know what's a great idea to do in a movie in the third act? Go ahead, change all of the characters.
I agree. It keeps things fresh.
My favorite part of it is when carrie is like davis looks a lot like Guy.
He looks and has the same attitude. It's the same character. We just wanted to throw in some more bullshit.
We just want to make that clear. It's the same character. There's kind of a running joke that all the titular main characters of Digimon always have the goggles because they always do for no real reason. So it's these three just having fun at the beach. Not important. Cut away to a different scene entirely now. And we see in New York there's weird forces happening around Willis and it's kind of just crushing things like a mailbox and a street sign and a vending machine. And it turns out there's a big old Digimon that's calling after Willis. He's telling him to go back and Willis yells out like, Cocomon. What do you mean? It turns out this is Cocomon from back in the day who got something happened to him possessed, I guess. And we also see terrierman, his other Digimon, who evolved from his little reform.
Why is it name Terry arman? It looks like a bunny.
I can't defend that one. You're right. It's a right.
Any of these you can't.
There's no excuse for that naming.
There's no excuse for any of this naming.
Why? Excuse me.
Parrot mon made perfect sense.
Coco mon makes perfect sense. He's the color of coco.
He's red.
He's kind of brownish. It was just the tint in the flashback that made him look reddish.
Yeah, okay.
Anyway, Terrier Mon is with Willis fighting off Coco Mon. And while he's fighting him off. We see tk and kari run along the street because they hear the cafl and they see him fighting and they say, hey, kid. And he goes, what? And then runs off saying, Stay away from me. And Cocomont disappears, and Willis runs off screaming. He says they're in danger, making sure they don't come after him. And then we get a scene of Willis calling his mom on a payphone because you know the saying he's going to go back like hokama said he's going to go back to Colorado. And this is when cari emails Davis and the gang saying, like, hey, let's meet up in America. Because you're middle school Japanese students, you can just fly to America at a moment's notice. That's easy to do.
Yeah, there's no time difference.
No, not at all. It's the same day in the digiscape, and we see Willis walking along the side of the road with terriermon. Apparently he was in New York, and now they're in the middle of a field somewhere saying they have an abundance of field. Yeah, all that corn and stuff and farmland in New York City. Terry Mon is complaining, like, can't we get a ride? Why do we have to walk? And he's like, no, Cocomon is getting more aggressive and attacking everyone around us. We can't risk hurting others and kind of get a little bonding moment between him and Terry armand. And it's cute. Despite what dugan will say, it is cute.
Terrier Mod is very cute.
Very adorable. Let me look at my notes. And we see tk and carrie on a train, I guess following him to Colorado, because it's just such a small area, you can just meet up anywhere. It's real convenient.
Meet in the exact center of the state.
Yeah, like in American gods. And while they're on the train, kari's digitalist starts freaking out, and the whole train goes pink for a second. And we see Cocomon looming in, like, outside of the train saying, don't interfere. And then the train stops. So he's able to halt the train because they're able to interfere with electronics because they're digital creatures. They're data. They're not flesh and blood. So it's okay when they die.
Oh, is that what digimon means?
Yes, it does. Meanwhile, Davis, yoli, and cody are getting to America, but they have to take these weird random transportations. At least he's got an uncle here and there. They got a taxi cab from Houston to there, and we got a train from keller and then just all over the place. So we get a little, like, montage of them traveling, and along the way, they hitchhike and jump into the back of a truck. And what do you know, there's Willis and Terrier Mod in the truck with them. And that's how they meet. Convenient. And as they're catching a ride, they're bonding a little bit. They get dropped off another stop and talking, and they say, oh, they're talking about, like, tk and meeting up with tk. And kari. And Willis is like, oh, yeah, that cute girl from New York. It's like, how long ago was that? Was that like, a week ago? How do you remember this one person? It's a very precise memory of, like, I know exactly who you're talking about. That's very convenient. Okay.
And while they're he did not ask for their names. He ran away.
He ran away. He has no reason to suspect that that's who they were.
But also, damn, Willis got games.
Oh, willis is a player.
He's very he knows all over the ladies.
All over them ladies.
And as they're in the middle of nowhere, they're like, all right, I know a trick to get back to my place quicker. And Willis finds another payphone because the calls for a pizza. And he says, hey, deliver to this address. And on the way, can you pick us up this old gag of ordering a pizza and then taking it as an Uber ride? As a former pizza delivery so as a former pizza delivery driver, don't fucking do this. You won't get in my car. That's not going to happen.
And they get, hey, this was the 90.
It's cool.
Murder wasn't invented yet by the government.
Child abductions weren't on the Friday.
By doing exactly this in a foreign country and trust adults.
Yeah, if they were wait, Willis is the only one from America, so, I mean, I guess he could speak for them, but just a bunch of kids.
That like, how does he know Japanese? He's from Colorado.
How does he know Japanese? Or how do they all know English fluently?
They speak digi es. It's a universal language. It's like common.
God, all the Digi destin can talk to each other.
Google Translate man is in the network translating for all of them.
You know that old chestnut? It's in every story. It's so obvious we don't even have to address it.
Yeah.
Anyway, the pizza driver shows up, picks them up, yoly and cody get in the back of the truck, and Davis is just, like, leaning on it, being a loud dumbass, and he's like, all right, I think we're all ready to go with this group. And then the driver here is like, ready to go and just pulls away without Willis or Davis in the back of the truck. And that causes them to walk on their own the rest of the way, and we get a little bonding moment between them.
But what's that?
Once they're on their own, coco Mon shows up again. Wow. And this is when terrierman and demi veeman digifolves into veeamon and fights along. terrierman against Coco Mon. And they got to kind of got.
To jumble and nonsense.
They got to fight them all.
Nothing means anything anymore.
Has terrier mom. Did you volunteer?
Not yet. Okay, so while they're fighting us to talk about it, while they're fighting Coco mine.
Yeah, I got something to say about him.
Terry, your mind carries veema to attack. And then Davis latches onto it, but we don't see it. It's all camera. And then they just fly into a billboard and kind of get knocked down. So it's kind of like, oh, okay, weird. And once David gets up, he's like, all right, enough screwing around. fema tina, did you evolve into flame drama? The fire of courage. Flame Drama is his name, and for some reason, they yell the Fire of Courage afterwards. I actually know the reason we won't get into it. It's something to do with season two.
Never Tell Me, I want to Die not knowing.
And Willis tries to talk to kokoman, saying he's going back like kokoman says. kokoman says, like, no, you have to go back to the beginning. And keeps attacking. And a Terrier mod. Did you evolve into gargo mod and beats the shit out of kokoman because he's wearing ginkgo jeans and has guns for hands now?
He evolved. And he did evolved and got jord.
He's got a joy digit mom digital Jordan.
He got those.
Digit jorts are the fatal jeans.
Digit jorts are so breezy got a.
Bandolier of ammo around them, and his hands are just guns. Now. How does he wear pants with no fingers? They're just guns.
He digevolves. And I think it's Willis that just.
Goes, always got pants now, because clearly it's a very dramatic line in the Japanese line. And America, they're just like, this is dumb. Let's just point out how dumb it is that he's wearing clothing now for no reason. It's great. I love it. And with Gargoman and Flame Drama, they beat up Cocomon and he disappears again, and they're like, well, how do we get back to my place now without the truck? And Flynn dramont. D digvolves back into veeamon and he's like, oh, I got an idea. And Davis disneyvolves him again into Ray drama. The storm of friendship.
None of this makes sense.
It applies to season two. We won't get into it. We're already going long. I can do a bonus episode of just explaining Digimon if we want, but that's another time.
No one else will be there.
Brendan only that's fine by me.
I am super okay with that.
I will send you a recording of me just every five minutes saying, this.
Is all stupid, just screaming into the abyss. So Rage Remind is just on all fours, and it can just run fast. So they just hop on his back and ride him the rest of the way in willis's house.
And then we get that chilled.
We get that good bead of them just running along a field.
Hey, digging well, hey.
And they meet up with yoli and cody again, and they clue them all in into the Coco situation. Coco mon. And Willis admits that he created coke'mon or created what happened to him, why he's attacking him. He says he did it to himself. He got the two Digimon in the Digi Egg, but he wanted more friends because he's a lonely little shit in the middle of nowhere. So he's like, I'm going to make another friend with a new Digi Egg. And that's the one that got corrupted and became Diaborman. And after diabor got defeated four years ago, that's when the virus got to America and infected Cocomon and took them over and started corrupting them. And that's why Willis came back to stop them. It's perfect logic.
My head is so foggy, so clear.
And Willis runs away. He's like, no, it's my problem. I'll deal with my own. And Davis goes running after him, and that's when he explains all of this and what happens. And after Willis explains all this, terrier mont shows up in just a hood and cloak for some fucking reason. Because he's yoda, he's cold.
He's cold.
I guess. I don't know. He's obiwan, saying he'll fight Cocomon.
Excuse me? obi man, now you're getting I wish I didn't.
And Terrymont says, like, I'll fight alongside you because we're best friends, and kokoman is my brother and I got to do it. He said, okay. And it just cuts to a new scene. And they're in an open field that's also cliffs. A lot of cliffs in Colorado.
I guess that are you forgot when Davis starts sobbing. And then Willis just says, get over it. And he says, okay.
Yeah, he hears about cocoon. He's like, that's so sad. And he's just bawling his eyes out. And he's like, really? I mean, it's sad, but like, what? You're right. And watch this tears away. It's like, Davis, you dumb bitch. You just dumb, dumb idiot. So when they're out in the field, cliff Face, now Cocomon appears again. And that's what Cocomon they're all ready to fight them as a unit, as Digi destiny. And that's what Coco mon starts. Digit evolving. Technically, Cocomon is the in training form of this Digimon. And the form we see right now is wendigo Mon.
Oh, interesting.
And he just starts freaking out. He just like and then he just rolls up into a ball and turns into and Tyler mon. And it's like a weird rabbit with big hands and feet, but like a thin torso and body and just beats the shit out of everyone. They still call a cocoa Mon, even though it is a different type.
They care as much as digiti does.
It's very important to me that we get the right names of the Digimon.
All 10,000 of them for these four digima.
And it's at this point everyone else Digifies as well. Armadillo man turns into drillman. The drill of power.
And Hawkeman digiboss the armadillo of bullshit.
Hawkeman digitals into halsey, man. The wings of love. Once again. I could explain this more if you.
Guys want, on the wings of Love.
Right into the show. If you want a special Digimon centric bonus episode. I'll be happy to do that. And they all start fighting Cocomon slash anti lamon. And where these cliffs and fields are just everywhere, it's just very confusing. And we get a good, like, fight scene back and forth. And during the fight, Cokeman just slides away and it goes to a lake, and it just dips underneath the lake. And Davis is like, well, that's easy. everything's taken care of. It's like, no, you dumb bitch. And right as he says that, cocoon emerges from the lake. And he did evolved again. And now they still call Cocomon, but his actual form is Turbimon, and it's the evil version of Trubimon. He forcibly dedigyvolves everyone back to their rookie forms, like armadilla, Mon, Hawkemon, vemont, you know, Terriermann, all these friends, all your favorites, and True vermont just has telugini's. And it's just picking them all up and kind of juggling around and toying with him because he's so powerful. And Willis runs up and offers himself, saying, like, hey, don't fight them. Like, take me if you want it so bad. He throws them away and cook them. Is like, yeah, sure, I'll kill you. And Terriermont is still fighting. He's still shooting him with this bunny blast, despite his name being Terriermont and still trying to fight his brother and try and help him. That's when vimont comes out and starts fighting, too. And that's when Troubimon picks them all up and goes to eat them because he's he's too powerful, and he's just going to take him out all at once. Then at the last second, Anjemon and Angeloman show up along with tk and kari.
These are human beings, dudes, in armor.
They're digging. These are just they got wings, and they have, like, arrows of light that shoot from their hands. They're the evolved forms of padamon and godmon. Tkankari's ditchimon.
No, you never fuck up animals so bad. You just make them into dudes.
This is what God is like. Just this mistake of making man. Technically, panama involved in the angel who's a champion level, but Godamon is already champion level, so Andrew Woman is technically an ultimate level. Just want to play.
I'm lying down.
I'm sorry. podcasting from the floor of my bedroom. I hope so. I'm lying down. This is interesting to listen to as it is to record. I love this.
This is great.
Anyway, Troubimon creates this dark realm around him, and everyone just starts de digi volving and getting smaller. But then even the digi destinies, the people get younger, too. They go back into their kid cells, like from four years ago. And he said chirrubima saying, go back to the beginning. And what he meant by that is go back to the beginning of time when the virus infected cocoa on not the place. Of course. That's what everyone logically, what else would he mean? And it's at this point, I have.
To read the instructions on the bottom.
Of my desk chair, because that's as much nonsense as the desk chair. Probably would make more sense if I'm being honest. This article meets the flamability requirements of California Borough Electronic and appliance Repair. I mean, we can make this episode longer. I'm not the one editing it dugan.
So I'm not the one that has.
Polluted yet go through all of this twice. So because true rugby is making everyone younger, anjuman and Angela are like, we got to kick it up a notch. And Anjuman warped digivolves because he's skipping the ultimate level. He's going right to the mega level. And he did evolve into Seraphman, his mega form. And Angel Woman regularly did evolves because she's already in her ultimate form digitvolves into Magnadraman, which is just this.
So at this point, they are no longer they're not even people anymore. Now they're just digi. God.
Yes, they're in their mega forms. And steph Roman, the angemont one deity technically true.
I'm changing my instagram.
Steph ramon is basically just a giant armored knight angel with just like a thousand wings. And an Angel Woman who is scanning clad and very sexual with a bunch of wings turns into just a wish Drag, a luck dragon from Never Ending Story. She's just a big fuzzy dragon or a wolf thing with like a thousand wings. So that's a weird turn.
Yeah, this is the first fucking weird turn.
This is where I start questioning things a little bit. But I'm still invested. And in their mega forms, the strongest one they could possibly be, they attack Trubimon and it does fucking nothing. And then they're like, oh, we actually just dish evolved into these swarms real quick so we can release the power of the Golden Digi egg. And then they are quickly knocked down back to their rookie forms of Patamon and got them on. But then the power of the Golden Digi Eggs go to Davis and Willis, who yell out the right inscription decree or whatever. And Terry. armand and veeamon. Golden armor. Digi Mall parcel. They golden armored. digivolve into Magnamon and rapidmon. Who take on kokum?
I dropped my Magnemon condom first time. Digi dong.
Let me get it for you.
I'm still on the floor.
Thank you so much.
And as Magnamon and Rapid mon, they take on Kokuman and start laying intel. But it still doesn't seem to be doing that much damage. And cocoon shrugiman eats them. So they decide to fight them from the inside out. But while Borimon activate can't go in up to without four. So inside of Cocomon, they see the real kokoman trying to fight his way out of the virus. And he's asking for all pointing to exactly where the virus infected him, saying like, hit me here, destroy it and me along with it. And as they go in, they attack the virus from inside. And Trubimon explodes and changes colors. And now he's very light and colorful and bright and smiley because now he's the good form of Trubriman without the virus infecting him. And then he fades away into nothing, saying, thank you, God. I wish that was me.
Just relief from this mortal super.
And Willis is sad because now he lost both Digimon. But then we see terriermon and veemon flying up over the horizon because they survived. And with kokoman defeated, they all change back to their normal forms. And Davis tells Willis that Digimon never really die. They kind of just get reconfigured here, hold on, though.
No. At this point, he just says, don't worry. Digimon never really die. Zero context. That's it. He doesn't explain it further. We find out, like, five whole minutes later what that means.
True, they don't really die. They still die, but not, like, really die. They're not, like, really super dead. I wish I was really dead.
No. dugan mom.
Immediately after this, after Davis says that, cut back to New York because it's just so close to Colorado, they might as well have walked there. And they're all saying to their goodbyes. And Willis kisses kari and yoli on the cheeks and runs off saying goodbye to everyone. And Davis gets all pissed off. He's like, how dare you kiss my woman? The car is like, what the? Fucking me, your woman? And that's when we see Willis back out in the fields again. I guess he's back in Colorado now, calling his mom at another payphone. He's like, yeah, don't worry, mom. I'm on my way home.
Mom, can you come pick me?
I want to go home now. And Terry, your mom just like, huh? I smell a digi egg. And they run over to a coastline, like of a lake or something because okay, and there's a Digi egg. And we're presumed to think that that's pokemon reborn in his new form. And this scene, I repressed quite a bit. This is the best part of this goddamn disaster. It's cocoon back in his original form that we know him as, which is actually wendigo Mon, just dancing. Just go and nuts as Smash mouths All Stars playing in the background.
Get your game on. Go play. Hey, now you're an all star, Mon. Get your digi. Game on.
There is a starmon. He's different. He's like a sheriff in Old West Town. And that's the movie. And then the credits play with kids in America playing. That's what my reference was at the beginning of the episode. Kits in America. 90% of this movie is in Japan.
Fuck you.
Is this the furthest? dugan's been broken. Is this worse than the Christmas episode?
I mean, he's on the floor.
It can't go lower than that.
He's back. He's getting up.
I'll even say this. I didn't look up half of those Digimon names. I knew them still.
What's wrong?
I'm talking about Digimon. Was that not clear by the beginning? I unabashedly fucking love digimon. It's so good.
I'm back.
Welcome back.
How was your trip?
Bad.
Did you make any friends? No. No.
I made ten. No, sorry. I made four enemies, but they have 18 billion configurations.
I'm very nostalgic for digimon, but this just truly makes zero sense.
I don't know what you're talking about. I followed it flawlessly.
This is a movie for children.
Yes.
Children are supposed to follow this and say, hey, what a fun adventure we just went on. And they don't even get, like, a lesson in Japanese naming conventions. They just get a jumble of nonsense for 90 minutes straight.
Yes.
Why the fuck is the Angela anaconda short the only narrative logical thing in this goddamn movie?
How dare you say that about the arc, the melodrama that is cocomon?
Well, this is in front, everybody. I'm the only level headed one left because dugan is steaming from the ears and Brendan is too far gone into the Digi realm to understand where we're coming from.
Watching this movie gave me a fever. I am sick.
Is the only cure more Digi movie?
The only cure is just, I'm going to church. I need God to just flush this out of my life.
Well, we don't have God, but I have an angel on. He's pretty close.
Okay.
Thank you for joining us this week.
Got to be real with you.
What's happening?
I'm taking digimon every year for my birthday.
Oh, God.
You got the show to go through, too.
The show is better.
That could just be that would be the nostalgic.
So next week, where this better makes sense. It needs to. We're watching a show that was recommended for us called Azamanga dio. It looks fun. It looks non complex. It looks like these characters should have two names at the most, which I've gotten used to.
You're in for a world of disappointment.
Thank you for joining. No, I'm sorry you joined us this week. We don't charge for this podcast, but I feel like I owe you money.
You didn't like the sky? I thought that SCA would have sucked you in.
That's the only thing that was the only saving grace, the soundtrack.
Kent oman is great. He's like a bug and a robot.
But thank you to camille ruley for our artwork. Thank you to Louise on You Got to do all the other stuff. Let me take another swing.
Take two. Okay.
If you have something coherent you would like us to watch, you can send your suggestions to at. Are we there yet? On Twitter and Instagram or email arwyet@gmail.com recommend more digmont.
So we have to watch it, please.
You can find me on Twitter and Instagram. Never. Because I'm dead. I'm dead. I will never tweet again.
Tell him.
Hypothetically, though.
Hypothetically, you can find my last will and testament at Mr. Patrick dugan on Twitter and Instagram.
You could find me on Instagram at queen. Period, we boo. And on Twitter at Queen. underscore, we boo. Maybe digi deities will be you can.
Find all of us. Maybe dugan gets revived back by Andrew Woman as zombie Man, who is a real digit. Just look up any word and put man at the end of it. 80% chance it's a real digit.
Brendan'S at abts Brendan, which stands for Almost Better Than Silence, which is his other video game podcast.
Yeah, there's that where he won't talk.
About I'm playing those games just so I can talk about it.
Thank you to camille ruley for her artwork and thank you to Louis zong for her theme song stories off the album Beats. You can find all of louie's music at Louisonga bandcamp.com. Thank you, and we hope you'll join us next week as we learn to.
Live within digima digital mother chickens.
See you in the digiverse.