And we won't stop until every kitty is cozy.
Hello and welcome to our weep there yet exploration and education and anime. I'm your anime idiot, patrick dugan.
I'm an anime expert, dana hollander.
And I'm brenda mccullough. Your anime Dr. jekyll, the original magical girl.
Makes you think.
Hot take.
Yeah, that Dr. hyde transformation sequence. It's beautiful.
I love that.
Lot of lavender, a lot of pinks.
A lot of ribbon sparkles.
Very nice.
Didn't like how we had to strip down for that one.
Hey, the girls got to do associate fair.
I guess it's all about equality.
Or, you know, how about none of them do it? We'd be okay with that too. Yeah, that'd be fine.
Anyway, before we get too deep for anime adjacent things, dana, how was anime expo?
It was really fun. It was very crowded and it wasn't too hot. Yeah, it was a good time. Artist alley was a nightmare and I was reminded why. I don't like going cool. But I got some cool stuff and I think that's what matters. That's all you need, stuff. And handed out some promo cards.
Living the dream. I saw promotion and buying stuff you could buy online.
Yeah, but I didn't blow my budget this time.
Is your secret.
Hardly. Self control.
I skipped the expo and just went right to Insanimate, the big anime dance party. Afterwards, someone in a French made outfit in the bathroom offered me cocaine. It was wild.
I thought that was going to leap somewhere else.
So did I. Instead it was cocaine.
Well, you have to turn into a magical girl somehow.
It's all fueled by coat.
Some people it makes sense. Yeah.
Some people have it in them. Some people need a little extra push, an enhancer.
People have it in them. And some people put it in them. It is thrust upon them.
The reason we talk about magical girls so much is because.
We'Re watching yuki una is a hero. This is a recommendation from annalis Douglas. Thank you, Anna.
Thanks Anna.
And add it at the top. If you have a show you would like us to watch, you can tweet at us or our email. Are we there yet@gmail.com? I don't know why I love delivery for that.
Choice and he's stuck with it.
I can respect hey, fucking do it.
I was into it.
So do you guys know anything about this show?
I do not.
Shockingly unsurprising.
I feel like this name is familiar. It feels like something that is out there in the world. But for the life of me I cannot place it. Or could be thinking of something else.
Might have been something you might have worked on and don't realize it. Or maybe briefly?
No, I don't believe so. I feel like when it was first suggested, I felt like, oh, this is a show that people know about and is out there and it is popular. But in research I don't think so.
I know nothing about it.
Me too. I like the title. I think it's a fun sounding time.
I've seen snippets, like some of the art, and I will legitimately eat a shoe if this is not a magical girl anime, that's the only thing I know about it. Other than that, I have no clue.
Yeah. Based on title alone, we have a girl's name and states that she's a hero. Is she magical? We'll find out.
By default. Every anime girl is inherently magical. So we're almost there.
That's beautiful, Brendan.
Thank you. I have a lot of white foods and a lot of problems.
They carry the spirit of anime with them always. That's enough magic. All right, well, we are watching the first three episodes. Let's transform into cozy watching clothes.
Let's see if he has to eat his shoes.
Deja voo.
I'm like, pretty sure we watched this one already.
I mean, the good news is that Brendan doesn't have to eat a shoe.
That's true. I could use some more fiber. I might do it anyway. It might be just something I want to do right now.
Please. We know you can't buy another ASMR.
Brendan eating a shoe.
The ripping and tearing of cloth and rubber, that's a very satisfying sound. That lowly. Get to sleep with woo.
We're launching a patreon just for this.
Yes.
Eat your heart out, Bob Ross.
So, yeah, we will put it bluntly at the top. This is medoka magica.
Absolutely. Even color coded. As such, they all got the same colors.
That's true.
I think there's one extra girl.
Yeah, there are some losses and similarities, but once we get to the meat.
Of it, the core, but it's pretty clear, the core of every magical girl is like, pretty similar. But this is, like, very similar. Yeah.
And this also came out 2014, just a couple of years after madoka magica wrapped up. So it was fresh in the animator's mind. So, yeah, starting out, we start with a cute little puppet show. We see a puppet brave hero trying to fight the demon King. But it's all middle schoolers doing a puppet show for the elementary school kids. It all goes wrong, things fall over, they mess it all up, and it's just for girls in the middle school hero club doing some storytelling and helping out the community at large. So we're introduced to our main characters. fu, who is the club president, itski fu's little sister, togo, who is the best friend of our main character, Yuki yuna. So we have our core group here, the gang, the main gang, and basically they're in the middle school hero club where they just sort of do good deeds and help out where needed. They meet up after this puppet show and they're talking about their next big task, which is helping people find or find owners for litter of kittens, bunch.
Of little tiny kittens.
So, you know, just middle school stuff. Just girls being helpful for the community.
Gals being pals.
Yeah.
Can we get that merch? Can we put that on a shirt and just have no context for it?
We don't own that.
Yeah. gals being pals.
Is that a thing?
Like, almost certainly already a shirt that exists.
Beans.
So we see them later on. They're either restaurant planning for the next cultural festival. I'm sort of glossing over all this stuff because it's just some, like, set dressing of them being middle schoolers that will immediately get thrown out the window.
Yeah. I will point out toga the one friend who's in a wheelchair. She has to make a mobile version of their club website, I guess, to make it more friendly for phones. And does it less than a minute, like, instantly. So she's the hacker wand. She's the elite hacker.
Also, she's in a wheelchair.
Also, she's in a wheelchair. We're not picking on her. That becomes plaid relevant.
Yes.
It was just fun that you mentioned. Oh, important detail we missed. The girl in the wheelchair is really good at websites, but yeah, we see them all go their own separate ways. Coming up with ideas for this cultural festival. And fu watts King home with its ski, gets an email about, like, test assessments. That is all very vague. And she seems concerned but keeps it hidden from it. skiing. What could it mean? So the next day, they're all in class and they get a strange message on their phones. And they all get called out in class for having their phones on. Ha ha. The hilarity ensues. But as they're scrambling, they see the message. Talks about protecting humanity and time freezes for everyone except for them. So it's just the four of them alone. Everyone else is frozen, and they're all freaking out.
The quickest way to tell if you're the main character of an anime series.
Yeah, just wait for everyone to if.
Time stops, are you able to move but everyone else can't? congrats. You're an anime character?
No.
Sorry to hear about your parents. They're going to die.
The mannequin challenge was all just anime, so they all meet up because they're the only ones that can move, so they can easily find each other. And fu reveals that they have all been chosen in vague terms and the world goes all rainbow. Yeah, basically, watercolor rainbow just covers the land and they sort of get teleported into a very rainbow e dreamland.
The collage zone.
This is definitely not a direct witch nest.
Even one of my notes is like, oh, crazy colorscape. Oh, shit, we're back in play. lamar and I will say it's not an important note, but at one point, the two sisters are talking and the younger sister says, like, you're all the family I got. So check that off. The dead parents bingo card of animals.
Add that.
Yeah.
And for they almost have all the same hair colors as the people from madoka magica tails. Just like Amy rossi off sonic.
We're not doing this again.
We won't do it again. But the charismatic leader trying to pull everyone into being a magical girl is the long haired blonde. And we get our shadow, we get our knuckles. We just have two tails.
Two tails. The only difference.
So, yeah, they are in this.
Acid trip world.
Yeah, this crazy world. They're able to find each other with their app, which I love. That is for emergencies.
I was going to say it's not the collage zone anymore. Instead, it's something different, but it's kind of more powdery and kind of, like, blends together easily. I was like, oh, chalk. It's the chalk. Shit.
They're in the chalk zone.
It's the chalk zone.
Rudy snaps. rudy. The other characters.
Penny.
Penny. That's it. Blocky. Because we're blocky, right? No, the first I have a blocky.
In my brain from any details of that show.
The first character, rudy ever drew on Chalk, and it's just this big, dumb square. His name was Blocky.
I couldn't tell you a single thing about that show, except I watched it.
A lot for your time.
I just said I watched it a lot.
I also watched it a lot.
You also say you don't remember any of this. I don't know. I know.
Fucking blue guy with the mask.
Snap.
It'S Schrodinger's cartoon. I don't know. We watched it, but we can't remember any details about it.
It's both in our memory and not in our memory at the same time. Yeah, everyone's like, hey, what the fuck? Foo? You made us download this app. What the hell's going on?
What are you guys doing to me?
So we get an info dump of the whole thing. Foo was assigned by the tai sha, which is just like, the deity that is protecting this world. And basically, they're magical girls. They have to save the world. They have to protect things with this. In this, like, rainbow barrier world. The shinsu sama. rv deities. There's just a bunch of muddled garbage here.
They're god warriors.
They're on a holy crusade to take back the Holy Land.
No, they're missionary.
I now understand what it's like for Duke to watch any anime, because the way they just throw this stuff at you with absolutely no context or explanation is very jarring, even for me. So I looked it up.
Were you able to follow if I should say this later, I'm just going to say it now. I couldn't tell you why they're magical girls.
Yeah.
Because it's so strange and unclear.
Because, of course, their test scores they.
Did goat on tests.
What did they test? Just like, all your sats are off the charts. You are the hero of the universe now.
Here we go. Here we go.
Crazy conspiracy aptitude tests for something for magical.
Crazy conspiracy idea. Japan is making animes where you become the protagonist. If your test scores are good enough, so it forces students to study hard and do well in school.
They don't need that because they actually value education. I'm like God forsaken land.
All right. I will say, though, because I looked it up, taisha is like, the organization that helps protect the God Shinsu or whatever. So Shinsu is like the divine tree. It's like the god tree or whatever. That's what it literally translates to. And tysha is the organization, and apparently they're the ones that made this app on the phone that the magical girls have.
Okay.
It's not clear. I had to look at them.
Children, a virus.
They're recruiting children into a paramilitary organization.
This is one time I got an info dump, and I was like, I need a little bit more info, because.
It just seems like there's no context, there's no explanation. I thought tyra was a person for the longest time, so it's just like, I don't know what's happening.
But yeah. This rainbow world is sort of like a middle ground that will keep the enemies of the Taylor Shinsukind they're just called vertex, and they just want to attack.
Cool.
No context on, like, why or what. They're just enemies to fight. And yeah. Foo made them all join this group in secret because their test scores were so good that they were the next heroes. And she was hoping she didn't have to activate them, but she did, and here we are.
You're my sleeper cell agents. I prayed I would never have to activate you, but here we are.
She says that there is such a slim chance that they would have to be, as we're saying, activated. So she was like, I thought I wouldn't ever have to tell you.
Whoops. Just like a random Thursday, she just, like, leans to her collar, and it's like, blue J, blue J. And you just see all the girls eyes glaze over, and they go on a killing spree.
The sassafrass is wet. Is wet.
We've all seen Winter Soldier. We know what sleeper agents are.
I haven't, but I know what a sleeper agent is.
Good movie monster.
Yeah. fu basically says, once your fighting spirit is in it, the app will help you transform. And fu and its key, they transform because Yuki and togo are not on board yet, because, of course so we get their magical girl transformation. fu has a big old buster sword. Itzky has, like, flower bracelets, ropes, vines. I don't know.
Yeah. I couldn't tell what was happening with hers. It just looked like she got bracelets.
Yeah, it's weird, but yeah, they go off to fight. Uni and chogo are talking like, hey, this is fucking nuts. Right? Should we do it? Should we fight? Then, surprise, una does. She transforms. There's some fairies bullshit.
You're real into this, aren't you?
It's hard to follow the flow because they're dumping so many things. It just feels like they watched other magical girl shows and they were like, oh, yeah, we need some of that. We need some of that. Oh, cool. They got to transform. Cool, we got that. Okay. Where do they get their powers from? Fairies. Cool. Should you explain it? No. Okay, cool. Yeah. I think they are literally called fairies. Yeah, they're like different. Some are just like dudes.
Some are animals. My name is Jeff. I'm going to be your fairy for your life. And then it's going to help you guide these horrible monsters to their doom.
Again, we are giving you more information than we got watching this.
Yeah, it really feels like they went down the magical girl checklist. And we're just like, check, check, check. It's like, oh, does this all flow and make a narrative sense? Not really. It's kind of a stretch, but we're hitting all the points we need to.
We'll fix it.
Yeah, we'll go back and edit it down. And then they forgot.
Get it in post.
Yeah, they fight off this thing. They get sent back to the real world, and they're like, whoa, that was crazy. I guess this is our life now. Actually. No, they don't finish it this episode. We get a cliffhanger. Sorry, spoilers. They win their first fight. But yes, that's basically what we have for episode one. jumbled mess.
It's real chaotic. Yeah. It ends with a unit transforming and hitting, like, the heart or punching the vertex, and you think it's destroyed, and you're like, ha. They win. And in episode two, it was like, oh, no, but heels. Never mind. Got you. So it starts off, like, right where it ended. And the music also really reminds me of plays. Lamatrica everything about this really reminds me of playlist magica, even the small animal companions. It's like cube a except, like less ominously evil.
Yeah, there's like a cow thing that acts as their, like, little Cuba.
Yeah, I think each girl has their own little fairy. And yeah, unus is like this cow fairy thing. Food gets like this cat thing. I don't even remember the little girl the little sister's name. She's irrelevant as far as I'm concerned. Irrelevant. As far as I'm concerned.
Irrelevant.
No, I was just going to say that was episode one.
That's episode one. So episode two, uno punches the our game is so strong. This episode uno punches the vertex, and it starts healing itself. And they're like, oh, no, what do we do? And fu is like, we got to do the ceiling ritual. And they're like, what are you talking about, the ceiling ritual? And I guess she texts them what it is because then Uni and the sister just looking at their phones, trying to read off of it. And meanwhile, Toga is just way off in the distance, like, worried about not being able to fight because she hasn't transformed. And when we get back, the sister.
Because she's in a wheelchair, we have to emphasize this.
We're not bullying her. The show is yeah.
It's not just because she doesn't want to fight. It's because she literally can't walk.
She's like 4 miles away. And so they try to get the ceiling ritual going, and all the time the little sister and you and are reading off of like, oh, we got to say these prayers. Like, oh, I have a lot of prayers off. We got to say all this. All right. It's like, by the power of the divine God, our father who art in.
Heaven, paula, be thy be thy name.
And like and then when it gets to Foucern, she's just like, why do you think you're down and hits the monster? She just says some random action line and hits the monster. And that works. And they're like, what the hell? And she's like, oh, yeah, it doesn't matter what you say for the prayer, as long as you say something with feeling. And they're like, why the fuck do you give us this list of prayers then, if it doesn't matter what we say? You could literally say yeet. And if you care hard enough, you'll beat a monster by saying yeet. And then the whole time there's a timer going saying, like, oh, this is the timer for when the monster's soul or heart is exposed. And if the timer runs out before we can defeat it, then it's invincible and we can never do it again. So it gives added pressure.
My other complaint about this show with stuff like that is they were clearly so into this being a video game as well. There are, like, gamifying aspects of their story.
Yeah.
And it's like, no, you don't need to build it in. We get there's a time crunch. It's about to eat a dude or whatever. It doesn't get close, so we don't know what it's actually going to do. But you added a timer. You talk about leveling up. You talk about the different powers, like there's area attacks, and it's like, no, don't just give us a story. Don't think about your merch opportunity.
You got to walk the zoids. You got to walk before you can run.
Zoids deserved games and toys.
Name me one zoys video game zoids. Shit, I should have made that harder. So they're trying to steal this big vertex, and when the soul is exposed, una tries to hit it, doesn't work. Foo tries to hit it, doesn't work. Oh, man, it sure is tough. It's hard to do what's that? Una has main character syndrome and just breaks it because she wants to. Hard enough. Nothing happens.
That's not what happens.
What happens that makes her break it the second time that she couldn't do the first?
Well, I mean, what's your name? Foo warms it up for her. She cracks it. She does her big special attack, and she busts it open a little bit, and then uni comes in and finishes the job.
Okay.
Una doesn't do it by herself.
I need to know. She hit it once, didn't work, hit it again, all of a sudden it works. I don't know. They're also flying through the story so quickly, I'm not catching a lot of stuff going by. So once they defeat it, they're back on the school, they're on the rooftop, everything's fine, time goes back to normal. And Foo says she'll have tysha excuse them for why they ran off in the middle of class. And this is still what I was like, who the fuck is tyson? What is tysha?
I thought ty show was like a god or something. I was like, how is a god going to excuse you from class?
I thought it was just a character we didn't meet yet, but it's the organization they work for, apparently, but that's never really made clear. I found that out on my own. All flying.
Yeah. Is this a public organization? I don't how can Taisha eat like, hey, so sorry that these girls weren't in class.
Sorry they were five minutes later.
They were protecting the whole world.
Yeah, it's not like they missed a whole day of school or just disappeared. Like they just ran out of class for a second and then ran back as far as the school is aware.
So it's like, hello, it is I, Stephen government. These children were working with me. Nothing to be suspicious good about it.
The principal emails them back and says, who, what?
So then we get the next club meeting and una's got her little flying cow spirit, just like floating around with her, and he likes beef jerky and that's fine because he's a cow. And I believe the younger sister plays that, actually.
I can't give him tuna. Do you know what tuna is?
God, I would love a lelon stitch quote every episode we'll work one in.
Yeah, I'll try and think of more.
But I believe even the younger sister points out of like, hey, that's kind of messed up. Una, don't feed him cows because he is one. Stop it. And then we see. Foo tells him more about the vertexes vortexes verbals and all the shit about the organization and talk about from shingu sama, which is who I have fucking Holmes written next to it's, the divine tree god that apparently has a prophecy that says twelve vertexes will attack it, and once they defeat all twelve, they're safe. I guess that seems like an arbitrary number. And then that's why tysha developed a plan to fight them and developed the phone apps and I guess gives them powers. I guess the powers come from their phones, maybe. And they say if the barrier world.
Technology is good actually, it's the one.
Show, it says technology is good if they're fighting in the barrier world that they were fighting in. If some of that's damaged, there's going to be real world consequences. And that's when Una remembers earlier that day in class, two girls were talking about the next town over, how there was a car accident. It must be a very slow news day if that's what people are talking about. The next town over. And oh, shit.
Did you hear these strangers had a fender bender?
Oh, no way.
What happened? God, I miss pre 2016 Twitter.
So they also find out that there's more than one hero team and that like Dan said, foo didn't want to tell them because she thought there was going to be such a slim chance that they would actually get. Picked that it wouldn't even be important to talk about until they got picked, until the vertex has decided to attack this city for some reason. So Toga kind of gets pissy and like, fuck this, I'm out and leaves because she's mad it's all kept a secret from her and that they'd be risking their lives, but without knowing it, when they agreed to join the club and Unit goes running.
Understandably?
It's fair.
I signed up to sell cats and you want me to murder a monster?
See, that's the give and take. I feel like Madika magica Madika magica is much more straight up, like, yo, fucked. But at least Cuba gives them time to decide whether or not they want to actually do it, even though they're, like, forced to in this one. They're just magical girls and they didn't even know it. But the show itself is much more light hearted, at least so far.
Yeah, the vibe of this I am enjoying more than Medoka magica, but yeah, it's still not great.
Yeah, see, that's where we differ. I enjoy the vibe of medica magica more, but that's because I'm an edgy little brat.
Because Brendan hates himself.
Yeah, a little bit. I don't think Hubay is that evil. But anyway what and I think with this show, because it was just such a massive info dump and because they just breeze through shit so quickly in all these episodes we watch, I think there's kind of an underlying story like madoga Magic. I think there's going to be something twist or something else going because they're just burning through stuff so quick. It feels like a parody or satire of a magical girl where it's just like, blah, blah, blah. You know, all this shit. Like they're not really invested in it themselves. So it feels like there's some bigger payoff in later that we didn't get to.
Yeah, it's sort of like an assassination classroom where they're like, yeah, you get the premise. It's fucking weird. Just get to it. Sort of just like putting it out there, but also wanting it to seem like they put a lot of effort and thought into it by having a bunch of names and conventions and organizations doing stuff. It's like, no, you just want to do a magical girl show. You can do that without all the preamble. That makes no sense.
Yeah, especially a later up. So we get your word. Not a lot happens in it anyway. So unico is running after Toga because they're best friends. And she goes to cheer up. And she's like, don't be so upset. Toga is like, I'm a hindrance to the team. I can't transform. I'm in a wheelchair. What good am I? Like, I'm going to weigh you guys down. And if I knew this is what it was, I wouldn't have agreed to it. And yuna's trying to cheer her up. She's like, oh, I got it. Check out this mushroom flower craft. It's like a mushroom that's like sculpted into this crazy stuff. Isn't that cool? It's like, what? And she's like, oh, what about this?
Read the room.
What about this? And grabs her a little cow fair and slams it into her chest. And she's like, look at my big old teddies. Isn't that wacky? And it's like, what? She's just doing weird stuff to try and cheer Toga off, but it's just like, what? You know? Are you okay? You seem like you're breaking down a little.
This is how you cheer someone up if they fail the test. And not that they were drafted into.
A magical army, coerced into the marines against their will. Yeah. So Toga cheers up a little bit, enough to talk about like, yeah, I got into an accident before middle school, and that's when I lost my legs, and that's when I lost some memories. And we just get backstory. It doesn't seem like she's really telling yena for a reason because Uni knows this. And Uni basically tells her, like, there's a reason we got picked. You didn't get picked, arbitrarily. They're like, cheer up. Like, I'm sure there's a reason. And I guess that works because they go back to the club room and we see before they get back, we see Foo and her little sister fu is worrying. She's like, oh, I messed it all up. I threw too much at them, and I might have screwed everything up. And now I'm worried. And she's got her spirit there who's just like this angry looking cat dude. And then meanwhile, the little sister is just doing tarot card readings because fucking why? Not every 6th grader loves tarot cards and knows entirely how to read them. And as she's throwing down the cards, one of them freezes in mid air. And it's like, uh oh, another attack coming. And they get transported away. But this time we see three vertexes appear. And she's like, oh, fuck. Three at once. Big game. And they all transform. And I made a note. I don't like the butt pop we get from Uni during her transformation. And they really focus on that. A little too long for my liking.
What about the big focus on foo's.
Titties with the emphasis that they're middle schoolers?
It's extra bad because it's real. Like, we got to get back to middle school because we're. Middle schoolers. And they really point out middle school.
Hero club of middle school. I'm a first year. I'm a third year.
We are 1112 and 13.
And so they run off to fight the three color coded vertexes that are all conveniently red, yell, and blue, which are their colors. And togo is still behind and scared because she can't help them. So she's left behind while you and everyone else runs off. And then we see the three vertexes are all working together like a really well coordinated team. One of them stays back and there's like a sniper and it shoots a bunch of like needles or bullets at one who just redirects all of them into wherever the girls are. Meanwhile, the yellow one is just like the scorpion asshole. So they're able to work well as a team versus the girls who are this is only their second mission, so they're not as well rehearsed. And toga watches uni gets smacked across the field like right in front of her. And the big squirming and guy comes up and just starts wailing on her and just like smacking her while she's unconscious and has a shield up to protect her or her little fairy cows protecting her. And we get a flashback of when they first met. And Unoz toga's neighbor when she first moved in. She's like, hi, you're new here. Let me show you around. I'll be your best friend. And that's it. It really didn't do much that we didn't already know.
Hey, we know they're best friends, but we got to see the moment they become best friends when they moved in.
And that's it. Truly pivotal first interaction, defining moment here. And togo screams out she's like now she gets a little spirit up here in front of her because the power of emotion and friendship is enough. And she protects both herself and una with her little spirit. dude. And togo's want to save. una is enough to make her transform. And now she does a transformation sequence. And foo had a problematic transformation sequence. togo's really focuses on those tips. Like, yes, it's way too much. And her weapon like una has like gauntlets to punch with. foo has a big ass sword. The sister has like a bracelet. togo just shred has a gun. It's just a real ass fucking gun.
Gun of gun.
Like multiple shrimp. Relax.
Gun.
Sorry. What's that?
I'm so sorry. But just the way they animate her legs just dangling while she is being walked around by these like Dr. octopus is like it's so funny looking to be I'm like, oh my god. They couldn't do something else.
Just braces around the legs so she could stand on her. Yeah, she gets like ribbon tentacle arms that she's able to run around like yeah, like Dr. octopus or like a spider or something.
I just thought this was nice. I was so worried that the power was she was going to be able to use her legs again and sort of just reinforce your only useful if you are fully able to bodied. So I was into the fact that it was just like a power that built around her disability rather than saying, oh, we'll fix you so you can be useful again. Yeah, so that I did appreciate.
I agree. I thought the direction they were going to take is that it would be her power to walk or use her legs and that she would then later in the series be like, well, what's the point of being in the real world?
She gets addicted to being a magical.
Girl, can't walk there. Yeah, that's what I thought was going to happen.
I was more distracted by yeah, I appreciate it.
I just think they should have like what if there were ribbons? Like holding her legs up somehow instead of like support, instead of just dangling.
It seems heavy.
I was more distracted by all the real ass fucking guns and that.
She's just yeah, lots of guns.
She's just straight up mommy from madoka Magica who was able to just summon a bunch of fucking guns. So it's the same powers off the similarity. So yeah, she locks and loads and just unloads into all these vertexes and just is like sniping the one from far off and shooting up. She's the last to get her powers. She has three spirit fairies already and is already way more powerful than everyone else and is able to just take out, I think, two of them on her own. She's able to just push them all back on her own. And then when they're struggling to fight them, eunice fighting the red one, food is fighting the yellow one, like their color code, and they're like, oh, you're having trouble, let's switch. So then food destroys the red one easily and then Eunice having trouble with the yellow one and then the little sister comes in and destroys that one by herself. And then they go after the blue one and its heart starts flying around too quickly for anyone to even touch. And that's when togo just snipes it from like 5 miles away super easily and just like, oh, she's really good with guns for some reason. Okay, that's unsettling. And they get back to the real world and they're like, oh Tobyo, that's great, you can transform now and we can all work as a team. And that's when foo comes up and says, yeah, let's work hard for the national defense. And I was like, what are you talking about? Excuse me. That's when I thought tai Show was like the Japanese government or something, like some sort of like FBI or CIA secret organization within the government. I was like, what do you mean national defense? So I guess these are just magical girls for hire. They're magical mercenary girls. Yeah, that's episode two.
Let's do episode three. I could recap it in about a minute, but I'm not going to do it. Yeah.
I didn't take a lot of notes for this. Every episode is.
So watching the first two and not taking notes on them, I was like, I like this. But then writing down what's happening, I was like, wow, this is nothing.
Yeah. Especially with this episode.
Yeah. So it starts off and the yuki is like, it's been a month and a half. And then they give us a recap of what happened in the first two episodes. Thanks, I guess.
Thanks.
Cool.
And then they're in the color land and the chalk zone, and they say that this is their fifth vertex, so they're like already almost halfway there pretty quick. That's another thing that it just doesn't feel I mean, I guess they're hard to fight, but it also just doesn't feel like that much of a threat because there's only going to be twelve of them. Seems like this whole ordeal is going to be over pretty quickly.
Yeah. And they just started and they already defeated four pretty easily.
Yeah. Three showed up at once.
I was like, Wait a minute, how convenient.
Yeah. And so they're looking at the fifth one and they're like, oh, I'm nervous. We've been doing this for a month and a half, but I'm still nervous. And then there's an explosion on the vertex and they're like, togo. And she's like, I didn't do it. And then a new challenger approaches. She she has a cool sword and she's making quick work of just doing this whole thing by herself. Super easy, super easy. And then she goes up to them and she's me.
She's rude.
Shocker. She's a rude girl. Her name is karine, but I kept writing down kari because that's how I heard it with no N, no cari's.
A nice one from Ditchimon.
And she says that she's a true hero, whatever that means.
Yeah.
She says that she was yes.
Once she was introduced, I almost immediately, fully checked out of the rest of this episode. No, we can't do this.
Got some good news. You didn't miss much. Yeah.
So she says that she was personally chosen by tysha and that the rest of them are no longer needed.
Beat it.
And then she's beat it and she's a transfer student. And then she got perfect grades on the entry exam.
So smart.
Yeah. And then they're in the club room and she's like, I hate pretending to be a transfer student. And I'm like you're not pretending.
Were you at the school before?
No.
You're a transfer student. Shut up.
We hate you.
You're here learning. Great. You're a student now. And they say like, well, why are you only here now? And she's like, oh, you know how taysha is. They like to triple check things. And I was like, no, I don't.
Know what tyisha, we don't know what it is. Stop assuming you know about this.
Made up organization you made up.
So then cari explains to them that tysha used data from previous heroes to train her to be, like, the ultimate hero. And so her app is different. And she has been training for years. So like, unlike these gibroni's, she knows what she's doing.
I like how she specified. Like, I've been training for years. You're only a few years old. It's not that impressive.
And yuki is like, well, great. Now you can be part of the club. And she's like, I'm not going to be part of the club. I'm just here to supervise. And then they're all like, join the club. And she's like, fine, I will.
Real hard argument there.
Nothing is explained in this show. But I don't understand how their fairies just get to hang out either.
All right, I did enjoy this part. They explained that. Sorry. Go ahead.
Well, I don't know what you were going to say.
I was going to say karen's spirit is like a little samurai dude. And he's hanging out. And they're like, why don't you have your spirits out? Like, if you can, you not even control them. And I don't know who I forget who said it. I think it was foo. But she says like, oh, we tried to have our spirits out before, but una's fat cow spirit keeps trying to eat everybody. So we hide away. And meanwhile, he's trying to eat the samurai spirit. Like, while they're talking about that.
Yeah, yuki's fairy boy has a biting problem.
Bites.
So the other ones don't get to hang out.
Yeah.
And then cari's fairy says something and they're like, wow, yours can talk. Well, togo has three fairies, one up. So they're just having like a fairy comparing contest, a fairy dick measuring contest. And then yeah, that's going on. Eatski is doing cari's tarot, even though she didn't ask her to. And she's like, oh, I pulled Death. And she was like, what? I didn't ask you to do a tarot reading. And everyone was like, bad omen. Bad omen, kari. And I was like, oh, she doesn't fucking die in this episode. I'd be so disappointed. I was just waiting for someone to.
Die because we were expecting it to be playlimagic.
Yeah, they're just drawing it out. We know someone's going to die eventually. They have to. And cary is just a big tune array because she pretends that she doesn't like them, but she secretly probably does. And yuki is like, you want to come to udon with us? And she's like, no. And then she goes home beat fuck up. And then they show them. And they're shown at udon eating their udon noodles. And foo is like, stubborn girls like that. They really light my fire. I really want to whip them into shape.
Chill, foo.
Yeah. And then yuki is like, I just want to be your friend. We have to fight together. We might as well be pals. nakari is shown doing some sword stuff on the beach, doing some sick stuck practicing her sword work and being angsty about how much she hates school.
I must train.
She's the sausage.
And then she gets home and immediately emails taisha and says, the heroes don't understand the gravity of the situation. It's discouraging. And it's like, wow. I mean, they understand that if they don't fight the things, the world will end. So I think they understand the gravity of the situation. They just also want to be children.
They also just have personalities because they're children.
And then she does some treadmill target.
Also just lives by herself, as any good twelve year old does in middle school.
Yeah.
How? Money. Why?
I mean, Mommy did it.
Mommy lived by herself?
Yeah. That's not a justification, but I mean.
She'S going to die in the next episode.
Exactly.
I read the book.
Play lamatt treadmill workout. What?
I read the book. I know.
How that? Wow. She eats dinner by herself and then she goes to bed. It's the next day at school and they're doing some swimming and everyone is like, wow, kari, you're so good at swimming, you should be in the Olympic. And then I love myself. I wrote down, why do they have swim caps on if their hair is out anyway?
I was thinking the same.
Doesn't make sense.
Why?
It's for your dexterity and agility in the water. Your hair slows you down. Just put it in the swim cap you're wearing.
I'm glad I wasn't the only one that noticed it, because I was like, this doesn't make sense.
It looks so stupid. And then cari gets out of the pool and yuki is like, wow, you're so fast. And cary is like, yeah, I'm at my peak physical strength to be a magical girl, so should you. And yuki just like, well, I'm in.
My peak month and a half.
This is what peak performance looks like for a twelve year old. prepubescent.
Get used to it.
She's a chad. She's a magical girl.
God, I wish I could peak in middle school like you.
Jesus, that's the saddest song I've ever heard.
And carries. She says to yuki, I bet people tell you you're stupid a lot. And yuki is just like, how'd? You know?
Wow, you're good at everything.
I did enjoy that.
You could just read me like, a book.
It's a picture book, it's not hard.
And then yeah, and then it's club time and she's lecturing them and she's eating dried sardines because she's like, it gives me all the nutrients I need. And then they explain some stuff about the vertices. Vertices? But it didn't make any sense to me. They say the word anomaly and sporadic, and I wrote down vertices usually attack a certain way, but it's different now, so now they have to fight different.
Cool. What?
How does that help us?
The viewer watching your TV show.
Yeah. And she tells them, like, you guys have to work as a team, but I can go off by myself. You guys could die. And I'm like, you're going to die because you're fighting so hard to fight for. Fight by yourself.
Foreshadowing. So hard.
Yeah. And that's when she talks about leveling up.
It's just like Game of Five.
You can level up your character with gems in the store. Basically, it's called monkey. And they're like, oh, have you done that? And she's like, no. And they're like, well, then you're on the same level as us. Us.
You dump it down.
Moving on.
Get good. noob.
And then they talk about training together, and cary is like, I don't need to do that. And then they talk about the tenants of the club, and one of them is, you're likely to succeed if you try. Which is cute. And kari just hates them all cute, I guess. And then fu is like, all right, that's enough of that. We need to plan for the children's festival. That's on Sunday. So they talk about they're going to be doing an origami station, and they're going to be teaching them how to do different crafts.
God, I wish this.
And they're like, oh, sorry.
Really? This is what you want?
I would rather watch them just do cute stuff for the community, do the things that they set up as the initial premise. I would rather thought that's what it.
Was going to be.
Yeah. The magical girl stuff takes secondary, like, back place.
No, just not even factored in. Just some sweet gals helping the tap.
Community service. The anime.
Yes. I haven't seen that before. That's unique.
It's new and fresh. So they're like, oh, kari, you can be the dodgeball target for all the unruly kids. And she's like, no. And they're like, Come on. And she's like, fine, because that's her.
Whole character being a pushover, saying no and then agreeing to it.
Yeah. And then it's the same thing. She goes home, emails tysha, eats dinner by herself. voila. And then it's Sunday and she goes to the club room to do the children's festival, but then no one's there. And then it gets later and later, and then she looks at the email or paper schedule or something, and she's like, oh, I was supposed to go to the place. What a big dummy I am. Should I call them? No, wait, I will. And then yuki calls her, but she doesn't answer. Like, she ignores it. And she's like, oh, it was a mistake. But now I don't want to do it anyway. I'm just going to go home.
What a complex character.
So she goes home, a vital scene for this.
She doesn't have time for this because she's a true hero. So she goes and does swords on.
The I'm going to do my swords.
I'm going to go play swords.
I got to save the world, but fuck the kids. I got to play with my swords. I got to make this world a safe place for all the little children. But they can go to hell.
She pretty much has this moment of like, I don't need them. I'm the real hero. I can do this by myself. And then she's home alone. And then the doorbell rings and she opens the door and it's the club. And they're like, hey, we called you a bunch of times. We're worried about you because you never answered. And she's like, I'm fine. Here I am. And then they're like, great. And then they go inside and they bring a bunch of snacks. And they're like, oh yeah. And then they have a cake. And they're like, Happy birthday, cari. And she's like, what?
How'D you know?
How'D you know? Because it was on her club formed.
A happy birthday.
We love you. They're there to celebrate because they want to be her friend and it's her birthday. And they're like, what? Did you forget it was your birthday? She's like, no, I've just never had a birthday party before, so I don't know what I'm supposed to say. Thanks, I guess. And then they have a good time. And yuki is like, over there circling every date on cary's calendar. And she's like, what are you doing? And she's like, it's the club meeting days and the things we do on weekends.
I'm going to make sure you don't forget again, you dumb idiot.
And then they decide that they're going to do a skit for the school's cultural festival. And then they all go home. And then they invite kari to the group chat. And she messages them. And they're like, oh, she joined yay. We're friends now. She's like, baca.
Like a Cindere does.
And then they're like, oh, this is going to be so much fun. And she's like, they're going to teach me how to have fun.
And that's that's the whole episode.
That's the whole thing. No fighting in this one. Except for in the first two minutes.
Great. Love it.
That's the one.
That's it. That's the show. So dugan, how did you like Diet puela magica? Are we there yet?
So based on what we watched didn't like it?
No.
Also beyond what we watched, just so I can put this out here, I went online. I wanted to see if an actual disabled person had watched this and put in their input. And I got a summary of the rest of the show. Boy, it's bad.
Hold on. Is it not good objectively, or is it not good? Like I was love it. Not good.
Very ableist. Not good.
So objectively not good.
So spoilers. I'll put that here. spoilers, spoilers, spoilers. So surprise. There's a dark twist, like mendoka magica being magical girls. They get more disabled the more jesus. Magical girls?
Holy shit.
What the fuck?
Togo was a magical girl. That memory lost stuff of her forgetting that she was a magical girl. That's why she was so good initially. And she's disabled.
Oh my God.
Of this.
Oh, I did not see that.
I never heard Brendan laugh so much.
Yeah. Oh my god, it gets super fucking dark from here.
Yo, I'm going to keep watching this.
Yeah, it's bad.
I did not expect no, I want.
To know the rest.
Anime douglas, what the fuck?
Yeah, basically, they get more disabled as they go through to the point where togo is like, fuck it, let them destroy the world. We're all fucking dying. Oh, yeah, they get more disabled, but they cannot die. They are breaking down physically. togo's like, fuck it, let them. And are suffering. Basically about to kill herself. And yuki talks her down. And then the gods are like, okay, cool, we'll remove this curse. You're fine. yay.
And it's like, what the fuck? So it didn't need to be there in the first place.
No, it's bad.
The gods were just like, here's a funny joke.
She got the sweet goof, the sweet gaffe.
Here's a fun prank on you guys.
Just God having their way. Just Joe blame.
But bad.
I don't know. That's pretty much just montana magic. I don't know if it's working.
Are you ever going to keep watching? You're never going to keep watching MATICA magica, are you?
No. Yeah, I assume it's about the same.
Okay, no, but listen, MATICA magica, this is like the flip side of that where it's actually kind of interesting. So they have to keep fighting witches and getting those grief seeds, because if they don't, their soul gem will turn into a grief seed and they'll become a witch. Okay, so that's why they keep fighting them, is to keep replenishing the light in their soul gem. So I feel like it's a slow thing, but this is much worse.
It is just a magica because hamura Shadow in pueblo Magica, the edgy best friend with all the explosives, her power, she has like a power and it's to freeze time or like to manipulate time. So that's why she's able to get all those, like, weapons and store them in her, like, bag of holding shield. Because she's able to freeze time and just steal them from military bases and shit. And then she gets strong enough where she goes back in time over and over and over again. That's why she's so good at fighting the witches, because she's relived so many times trying to save madoka and failing every time. And that's the same as togo.
This really is just a bad show.
Yeah.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
You are a good person. We love you.
You're valid?
This show is not good.
It's my document. It's the same exact thing, but like, what, eight years later?
You said it's like three years.
After three years, like, it's the same story.
That's incredible. I really want to see how this plays out.
Now I'm watching it but I also.
Don'T know if I want to, I guess. It's only twelve episodes.
I'll finish it. I ended up visiting kids on the slope, which is very good. I recommend you guys finishing that. dana, if you finish elfin lied. Elfin lead. Elfin lied. I'll finish this.
God.
Deal.
Okay. I have to do that still?
Yes.
Deal.
Yes.
But yeah, I just I really wanted to get some input since we are three able bodied people talking about disability representation and yikes. What I thought was bad.
Yeah.
This might be a show about good references. Oh, no.
Sorry to derail the whole what did we think thing, but that sort of colors what I think about this show.
So are we there yet? No, doesn't sound like it. I don't know. Maybe I'm kind of there now.
It was good for me. Was it good for you?
Oh, God, that was a workout. I'm sweating.
Based on what you all watched, what did you think?
Based on what I watched, I was kind of interested. But now I'm not interested. I mean, I'm interested in seeing how they make it play out. Like how that all plays out. But I'm also like, what the fuck?
That's a strange plot device to commit to there, guys.
Yeah.
Wow. Yeah. Like I said, I'll probably keep watching just for the hell of it. My interest has peaked. That's not a good thing.
Now I have to keep watching. elphin.
Oh, no. Oh, God. Everyone loses.
Once again, Anna, your choices are your choices. You're respected, below you're. Glad you listen.
You are valid. No, thank you.
We will not be joining the God Warriors.
Oh, God. Let those vertexes just take us. Take us now.
Rip.
So, coming off that fucking dark bummer note, what's the thing to look forward to next week?
Oh, man. Oh, man. Guys, it's here.
It's here.
It's that time. I wish it wasn't. What am I playing?
It's that best time of the year.
It's the anniversary of One piece.
So we're watching One piece.
It's here.
We're doing it, guys. We're taking on the monster. It is One Piece. It's almost at 1000 episodes.
Tell us what episode numbers we're watching, Brendan.
Just seeing this on our list, it just tickles me every time I see it.
We're not going to watch episodes one, two and three. We're going to jump around a bit. We're going to mix things up a little. It might be strange for some, but we're gonna be watching episodes 236, 278 and 405. We're going to jump around to that and to get a good sampling of One Piece here.
We're getting the full experience already.
I already know you guys aren't going to watch it. I enjoy One piece. I still am up to date on the manga. I don't recommend it to anyone. If you're not already in, it's like a club. If you're not already in, you're not going to get in like it's too far gone.
No, you won't fit in.
You're not cool enough.
You literally can't get in.
Yeah, that's a minimum, like 500 hours to catch up.
Oh, yeah. And the worst part is the manga is all continuous. It's all canon. So the manga is on chapter, like 900 something. And the anime is also on episode, like 900 something. And that's because there's so much filler. Like, more than half of the anime is just filler because it's probably like five chapters an episode. So you cannot watch all the anime. It's just not worth.
It before the episode.
Brendan it's fucking one piece just mentioning it. You're already deterred. So instead of actually trying to give you instead of trying to get you invested in the story and to give a shit about this, because the art style is pretty jarring by itself and it takes a lot to get used to. So you're already going to hate it. Like, I've already accepted we're not making that episode. You're not going to like it. But I'm just going to give you a crash course of some of the big major episodes and why people give a fuck about it. You won't give a fuck about it. But here's why some people do.
And it's you never know.
No, I know you're definitely not going to care.
Yes.
So we're watching once again episodes 236, 278, and 405.
What a joy.
All right, well, if there's a show you would like us to watch, you can tweet at us. Are we there yet? On Twitter and Instagram. Or email us at rwariat@gmail.com. You can find me on Twitter and Instagram at mrpatrick. dugan.
You can find me on Instagram at queen. Period. Weebu, and on Twitter at Queen underscore Weebu, and Queen underscore Weebu art.
You can find me on Twitter at abts. Brendan it stands for Almost Better Than Silence, which is a podcast I do about video games. And it's also stupidly long running because we're about to hit episode 300.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, we have nothing planned because all the other co hosts have quit.
You keep calling your other podcast out on here and I just can't handle it.
No.
Why? Just shit on it.
I don't do anything else with my free time. It makes me feel good that I'm actually doing something.
All right, well, thank you to camille Ruling for our artwork. And thank you to Louisong for our theme music stories off the album Beats. You can find all of louie's music at Louisong bandcamp.com. Thank you and we hope you will join us next week as we learn to live with anime.
Don't be a magical girl.