They show up out of nowhere, mess with our heads, waste our time and then disappear. Hello and welcome to our weeb. There yet. And fuck me.
The energy is too happy. You know you're manufactured. The audience could tell you were lying too bright. We're keeping this all in, right?
If it's less, I have to edit.
Sure, fine.
I love it.
Hello and welcome to our weave. There yet, an exploration and education and anime. I'm your anime expert, Patrick dude, no, I'm your anime idiot.
Yeah, I'm an anime expert, dana hollander.
And I'm brenda mccullough, your anime zachary Morris, the star of the early s 90s teenage anime sitcom saved by the Zach Bell.
Good one.
Whoo we're watching? Zach Bell and dugan wouldn't let me name that as the episode, so I figured I had to worm it in somehow.
I knew he would drop it here. I already said I'm not editing this one.
Here we go.
At all. It's just a raw take here, folks.
The first two minutes of audio where we weren't saying anything. They're going in, baby.
They're going in.
You heard that isolation madness is starting to hit. Hi. This is recorded the day after you heard the last one. So it's coming out where it's going to come out where as you're hearing it, I should be this insane, but.
It'S been one week in the timeline of the podcast. His insanity makes sense in real world time. It makes no sense at all.
No. It's my birthday weekend. I stayed inside and did many legal activities and I am very feeling very good.
That's great. I'm so happy for you. Happy birthday.
To me.
If there was ever an episode that needed this level of incoherent, it's this one.
Oh, yeah. I took one look at this pervert and was like, oh no, I left this blight in my child.
I feel like it's a show in the background of a lot of people's minds because I don't know anyone who enjoyed watching this show because it's just weird. So it sounds like you have a history with adana. Do you have any experience with Zach Bell?
No, I'm not looking forward to it plenty, but I've never seen it.
It was, I think, 2005. It started airing in like tunami. Or was it like tunami?
Reddits on this said 2003 tunami.
I think 2003 was the original Japanese. I think 2005 was the English. So that's why we got it. Yeah, I pretty sure it was tunami. Or it might have been like Saturday morning cartoon, like on debbie bb. But I'm going to bet my money on tunami because that's when they're just.
It could go either way.
I think 2005 was that time where they're just like, anime is popular late night on cartoon. Or grab any anime. All the anime you got. It's like, what what about this one? It's dumb as shit. Grab it. It's just anime. Put it on.
So it's fine. Free content.
Free content. Just throw it in there. Steve bloom will do the voiceover for it.
We can still get him. He's still affordable at this point.
He's tom, do you remember much about it, dugan, about the show itself? Or just like this character burned into your head somehow?
I don't have any memory of actually watching this show. I think just exclusively through the promos and being like, this fucking puppet kid weird.
Yeah, it's probably what most people thought. It didn't just pass away. But when you got as much free time as I have and still do have you watched everything?
Yeah, I'm getting there. I'll fill you in. I got to episode nine of B Stars last night. What? The farthest I've gotten in any series we've watched.
I really did it.
That's unheard of.
I can't remember. It's been so long how far I got in my love story. So I think that may actually still hold the record. I think I was in the teens for that one. But this I got to episode nine and I was like, oh, yeah, it's still anime. I may pick it up again. It's about a 50 50 shot. If I'll finish the series.
It'S like, what? Twelve episodes? You're so close.
I know. I'm like an hour away. And I'm like, well, also you have.
To think my love story is 26 episodes, and this one is only twelve. So technically you've seen more of this one.
Yeah. Like percentage wise, I'm more done, but more time investment into my love story.
But that was also a year ago.
Yeah. So I probably have to start from scratch.
Yeah. Well, I hope you enjoyed both of those anime series because you definitely want to enjoy this one. So let's get into it.
Yeah, as soon as last week you introduced it as like, some four kids level shit, I was like, oh, God.
Yeah, it's going to be fun.
Okay.
All right.
Let's fucking do it.
So, yeah, we're watching episodes one, seven.
And eleven because who needs a coherent plot? Let's get it's.
2005, baby. Black eyed peas.
Let's get this party started.
Brendan, we said we needed good stuff.
This is good.
It's our desperate time.
This is good. What are you talking about? This is great.
I don't know why you do this to us.
It's good. It's like I pleaded. I was on hands and knees begging last week, saying, oh, please, Mr. Spare a good anime. And you said, not today.
All right, listen. I did silver spoon. I did Animal Crossing the movie. Those were my picks. I had a good run. This comes from me.
To a three to make a pattern. There is still no pattern of you showing sympathy with any of your picks.
Yeah, before silver spoons, it was darker than black. Can we know how that one went?
This podcast is really an experiment to see if you have actual any actual consideration or empathy.
And so far, yeah, things aren't looking good, bud.
No. I can't defend it. No, I don't. I'm dead inside, and I'm a masochist. I enjoy other people in pain. It's funny to me.
That's not that's sadist, honey.
Sadist. Sorry. I'm a little masochist, too.
You're also a little masochist?
A little bit. I still watch it.
I too, want you to be in pain.
Sometimes.
I think I'm the only one here that only wants good things to happen, and I feel singled out, and.
I just can't you agree to this?
No.
This is like ultimate muscle level good. I don't know what you're talking about.
Ultimate muscle is fun. How about you start that recap, bud, and then we'll see how fun the show is.
It's just arguing now. All right, episode one, we get the opening credits. Not credit sequence. We get the opening sequence, and it's just the music, but none of the lyrics. So there are lyrics to the opening.
But for some reason, this was a mistake.
No, I truly thought I had a bad episode of it.
It could have been. It's not like the lyrics add any plot to it that you need to know. So, like, I don't know why they made this choice, but here we are. Yeah. Standard opening sequence, just random scenes of the show, nothing special. Opens with a young blonde boy in a blue dress with a big old bow on it flying into the city, hanging from a giant bird's feet, saying, they're almost there. And then he sees a yellow tail tuna jump out of the water, and the boy lets go and dives after it. Then it cuts, like, any opening starts. Cuts to I just watched it. I'm forgetting. Isn't it kyo? kyo Kio. He's 14 years old, but by anime standards, he's, like, 28. And he's skipping school because he's just too darn smart. He's a smart boy, and he's sick of being around all these peasants.
I hate challenges as me.
I hate him.
Yeah, I marked him off as unlikable main character.
Yeah.
So even throughout the show, as he gets better, he's still a dick.
So, like, why do I have to care about society? If society doesn't care about me, why.
Doesn'T anyone want to have sex with me?
I mean, that's a leap, but I'm sure it's in there somewhere.
I'm sure once he's 18, that'll be his mood.
Yeah, his mood legally waits for that.
And my horniness knows the law.
And then Zach comes flying in on that bird and blows out his window along with the bird and the fish he caught. And he introduces himself as like hi, I'm Zach.
He says I'm sorry. Is it Zach or Zach?
Zach. Z-A-T-C-H. You know, a normal name.
Okay, cool. As long as I can still follow.
Yeah. So he blows open the window like it's destroyed entirely, and he just starts yelling at Kio. Like, don't talk back to your mother. Go to school. Be a good son. It's like, bitch, who are you getting at coming in my room, yell at me like this? And Zach says he was sent by kyo's father. Of course he was. And he gives kyo a letter from his father saying, like, this boy's name is Zach. I found him in England when he was passed out, and when he woke up, he didn't have any memories, so.
I thought, and I stole him, kidnapped.
This child, and time to put this boy in the mail, human trafficked him to Japan. And I said, you should teach my son how to be a better person. Random orphan child I found in England. Oliver Twist. So the letter says he's a very good boy, and he lost all his memories, and he was found with this weird red book. That's the only clue to his past. Good luck, son. Okay. Thanks, dad. It was a weird birthday present, but all right.
Great boy servant. Cool.
Everyone wants it.
Wow.
And kia starts getting annoyed by Zach for running around talking, so he goes to punch Zach in the back of the head like an asshole. And he says something as he's about to punch, and right as he does, Zach turns around and shoes lightning at him and blows up his old room because it's already destroyed once. Let's keep going.
Also, we skipped over this. The voice of the English Zach is debbie Dairyberry, who's also Jimmy neutron. So it's just Jimmy neutron, all of this. And I cannot divorce that voice in my mind away. So I'm just like, oh, no. He's in a disguise.
He's a boy genius.
Yeah, he knows what's up.
How do you get all that hair under that blonde wig?
Science. And the voice of Kio in the English dub is Jason Spiesac, who, for any Young Justice fans, shout out to xeno Robinson. Front of the show is wally West, Kid Flash in Young Justice. So that's all I heard as well. So, yeah, Zach blows up his room with lightning. This baby boy's got lightning in his mouth, and he doesn't really know how it happened. He's like, oh, your room is real messy. And kia says, like, I'm done with this shit. He doesn't want to go to school. And kia's mom says, like, fine, you don't have to go to school, but you're going to have to babysit thatch all day. He's like, fine. I'm going to school. There you go. No one wants to be a teen dad at 14. And kyo, on his way out, steals that red book and heads to school. And kyo's mom sitting there at the table, having a very frank conversation with this young boy that just blew open part of her house maybe an hour ago. And she says, like, oh, I want kyo to make friends. He's having trouble making friends at school. Can you help him? Zach zach is like, hell yeah, I'm on it. Leave it to me, mom. And runs off to kyo school. And we cut to Zach running around the city in a double bag. So we just see the legs sticking out of a double bag running around. And he smells kia.
I've already forgotten about this. That brought me some joy.
Just some joy. That brought me a lot of joy. This show did I enjoy that?
Makes one.
Yeah. He smells kyo and follows his scent like a dog. And he gets to the school, and he's like, oh, that must be where kyo is. So he runs inside. Cut to Kio in class, reading the book instead of paying attention. And the book's written in this weird language where, like, half the letters are blue and then some of them are red. And he doesn't know how, but he can understand the red letters. Like, he can't read the language, but he just he understands what they mean. So he's trying to figure out what this whole deal is. And the teacher calls him out for not paying attention. He's like, answer the question. kyo stands up, answers the question effortlessly because he's so smart. And then when he sits back down, he's so smart.
Oh, my God.
It wasn't even a hard equation.
It's so simple. It's this super smart kid who hates all of his other classmates because he can't relate to him because he's so smart. And he has a strange book. It's light yogamy. We're watching Death Note. I got you. tricked you.
Oh, shit.
Mysterious stranger shows up out of nowhere.
Zach is a death gun. While he's in class, he hears, like, all these other classmates muttering like, oh, no one likes him. He's so stuck up at snobby. He thinks he's better than everyone. It's like, yeah, he is. But still a dick.
Yeah, that doesn't mean shit. It's still a trope to be the brainiac that no one likes because you're such an elitist. That doesn't make you a main character, idiot.
You've seen no fan of Bay My. Now you should know that. And as kyo, we see Zach fall into the window, but kyo doesn't even see him, so not much happens. And then as he's leaving, a girl stops kyo and starts talking to him, saying, like, oh, jeez. We find out her name susie a little later, but susie stops him, saying, like, oh, jeez. It sure help me. Sure helps when you help me study. If you could help me study a little more, I'll get my grades back up and I'll do better. And she's just asking for a study partner. And he starts chewing into her like, what are you bothering me for? Everyone here's dumb.
It's like, wow, just really they all hated me.
Yeah, really. Just the one friend he could possibly have. He's just yelling at her, god, everyone.
In this school is a fucking idiot. Hey, smart kid, would you mind helping me get smarter? Fucking idiots can't leave me alone. When will my genius be acknowledged? Hey, I'm giving you validation.
Help me. You are smarter than me. I admit to that.
I'm literally begging for your help. This is a power fantasy for you.
And when he's yelling at susie, zach pops out of the bag and starts yelling at Kio, basically saying, stop being a dick. I'm a small child in a foreign country, but I know the language, and I know you're an asshole. And kyo starts yelling at Zach and then runs off. And then Zach tells kyo. kyo runs off, but grabs Zach with him to try and hide them, because now he's got a small blonde child yelling at him in the middle of middle school. So when they run off, Zach says, I got a plan. Here's how we'll get you to make friends. You'll be the hero of justice, and you'll stop all the school bullies, and that'll earn you some friends. He's like, no, that won't work. He's like, cool. Here's my second plan. We pray to God and just hope he does something. He was like, once again, no. I just like, all right, I'm out of ideas. That's all I got, boy. I'm a small child.
I'm sick, sir. You're the brainiac. Figure it out.
I'm a child.
I only know prayer and hijinks.
Good Catholic boy that's Zach sokia says. He's like, oh, you know what? I got an idea, Zach. We'll do that hero justice bit. You'll go up to the rooftop where the bullies hang out, and then I'll come up and save you. And then I'll make friends with all the people up there because I saved you. Zach is like, all right. I like that plan because it was my idea. Zach goes running upstairs to the rooftop, and Kiwi just walks away, not doing anything like a dick. And since no one's up on the rooftop to bully Zach, he bumps into susie, who's up there for some reason, minding her own business, I guess. And they talk for a bit, folding.
Her laundry, it looks like.
Was that it? I already forgot she was folding something.
It doesn't matter.
It does not matter.
She was putting her murder tarp away.
Hi, Zach.
Hi, little boy. You don't really notice anything that happens around you.
He starts talking to susie, and he's like, oh, hi, I'm Zach. Nice to meet you. We can be friends. She's like, yeah, I'm susie. I'm kia's girlfriend. But he doesn't know that yet. It's like yikes. susie. yikes.
Who, boy.
She's innocent, but yeho, boy. And around this time, susie is explaining what a bully is saying. Like, oh, it's someone who picks on someone weaker than him and takes their stuff. And in the background, we see a bully beating up some other kid behind them who came up another stairwell. And Zach sees him approaching, and Zach challenges him because he's going to get beaten up by this bully so he can get saved by kyo. And then instead he just gets beaten up by this bully, period. And this bully is named cain, like the WWE wrestler, because this is literally a WWE wrestler. This character is gigantic and a full on man. So while he's getting beat up, we see some skateboard pervert across some building tops. And he can bother learning his name.
And he's he doesn't deserve one.
No. He's looking through some, like, binoculars on top of a building, like through, like, at other rooftop buildings, and he sees Kane beating up Zach. And then susie's there and he's like, oh, man, those two guys are fighting over that girl. I'm going to go swoop in and make her my girlfriend. You're not realizing one of them is a full on adult and another one's a literal child. That's absolutely not what's happening, but okay. And when he says that his little buddy who kind of looks like he's at she's got, like, the lines down his face, that's okay. So info dump. Thatch is a momoto. And one of the few consistent one of the only consistent things across momoto's is they're usually a child size and have just these lines going down their face that kind of make them look like a ventroca stumpy and that's it. But even that's different amongst some even that's not super consistent.
Anyway, the only consistent thing happens rarely sometimes.
And this skateboard pervert has a Momodo body with him, a little kid with, like, spiky orange hair, and he says a magical word, skateboard pervert. So good, that's all he deserves. And he says, like, a magical spell word. And then both of them just get lifted up in the air by the wind. And he starts flying across the rooftops, and the wind is propelling him across his skateboard. But he gets distracted by a girl on a billboard, and he runs into a water tower because he's just so damn horny. And then we cut back to Kane being beating up zach says Kio only cares about himself. He's a loner because he's a dick and everyone hates him, so why should anyone be his friend? And to whose credit he's beating up a small child? But cain is making some valid points against kyo. He's not wrong.
He's right.
It's kind of tough to be like, I agree with this guy beating up a child. But then while he's fighting Zach, kio runs up the stairs and is behind the door to the rooftop. And he's got a little window so he can see out of it. And he's just watching Kane get beat up or watching Zach get beat up by cain. And he's just kind of like, yelling at Zach in his head, being like, just run away. Leave me alone. kane's right. I don't care about anyone else. Just go away. And Kane keeps insulting Kio, keeps beating up Zach, zach keeps defending him, and then oh, God, my notes are a mess because the show is a mess. Zach says kyo isn't there yet because he was eating too much and he had to go to the bathroom because he had two big helping loaves of meatloaf for lunch. Great.
Can we squeeze a poop joke in here? But that's cool.
I was fine as that. Saying that because I'm like, he's a dunk kid. He's making an excuse. Then Kio kicks open the door, and he goes, oh, man, that feels so much better. So he's playing along with the pooping bit. As embarrassed as he is, he's ready to go along with it.
Oh, boy. The lack of shit in my body makes me feel so ready.
I'm faster when I fight because I have less 40 care holding me down. kia knows improv. He knows yes. And so he goes in, goes in to save Zach, and he goes in to fight cane and immediately gets his ass handed to him because he's still a dumb, weak nerd. And Zach says, Great, kios here. Now we can go with my backup plan, which is pray to the heavens that someone will save us. Zach is, like, bows down, and kyo says, like, oh, that won't do anything. That was his backup plan, but it won't work. And right then and there, skateboard pervert flies in and knocks cane out by landing on top of him. And then he blasts them away with a big gust of wind after he says his magical words. And then the pervert grabs susie, he says, I'm going to make you my girlfriend. And I usually get what I want because people are scared of me. It's like, cool. That's super girl.
No.
And kyo sees the other kid that's with the skateboard pervert, and he's like, oh, that guy's got a book like I do, and he's got a little kid friend like I do. He must also be an asshole. He's right. And kia remembers the spell he read earlier in the book where he didn't understand the language, but he could read it somehow, and he realizes it's like the spell is like Zachary or something. So it's similar to Zach zach. So he accidentally said it earlier that day, and that's what caused Zach to blow up his room with lightning, because he mispronounced zach's name when he remembers that. Of course, just by happenstance, he's the main character. That's how plot works.
Thanks. Convenient memory. Yeah. I actually let my mind wander more often, to be fair.
It's been, like, 3 hours since the deep blow up his room that morning, so it's probably still fresh in the lobes. And the pervert attacks again, and kiyo remembers the spell and yells out the care, and Zach shoots a big old ball of lightning. But he doesn't remember. He doesn't realize. He doesn't. So when he comes back, like, his eyes go white when he shoots lightning. And when he comes back. He's like, Lightning hits a lot around this city, and the one lightning bowl is enough to scare off the skateboard preferred his little wind buddy. So they start celebrating that they won while those two guys run away. And then we cut to just a super goth hot topic momoto and just this super hoyty toy rich girl. And they see the smoke coming up, and they're like, ah, the battle for the Momoto King has begun. We're just like what? Hat who. And then cuts to that night. We see kyo giving Zach a bath, and he's all healed up now from that battle earlier today, but kyo isn't. And while he's washing Zach, he finds horns on this little kid's head. So now he's got, like, weird faced lines coming down from the eyes and just, like, ogre horns that are, like, covered up by his hair. So they're not huge, but yeah, it's weird. And then that's it. That's episode no.
This boy with magical powers has maybe magical or demonic tendencies.
He's not human. This lightning spitter ain't human. What's happening? And then the ending is just clipshell music again. It's nothing special.
Yeah, who cares?
So then we get to episode seven. Here we go. There's a guy, and he also has a little guy, and his little guy is named sugino. And they're practicing their powers. They have, like, plant powers. And then we see Zach playing in a park, and he's like, Kios making all these friends. I want to make some friends. And he walks over to this group of kids that are playing with a ball. But then while he's walking over there, he is attacked by a small horse that he does not know.
No.
And it like, licks him like a dog. And then the ball rolls over to them. And a girl whose hatch calls naomi. But we're going to call Teeth girl teeth.
Big old choppers god.
She says, don't touch it. It's mine. And then we see her, and her face is something out of a jungie ito nightmare.
Yeah, it's like a joker laughing gas of, like, just pained expression forced into, like, a constant grin. And it's like, oh, God. You're clearly in pain. Child.
Sweet child.
Yeah, just like, clenched teeth.
The teeth never open. She talks, and her teeth just, like, jut forward and back, but they never move up and down.
It's vile. She tells them not to touch her ball. And then she calls thatch and the horse thing weirdos. And then we find out that the horse thing's name is Schneider.
Cool.
He calls it a dog, and it gets very angry.
Rob Schneider is an anime. I love Schneider.
It gets really angry at being called a dog. And then it tries to lunge at her, but she steps out of the way, and it lands on, like, a playground apparatus and her gang of child's children. The gang of children spin the playground apparatus and schneider is launched off, and they blasting off again.
Good times.
And then naomi teeth girl is like, oh, Zach, you have no friends. I'm going to the zoo this Sunday with all of my friends. But you know what? You're not invited. What are you going to do this Sunday? Something stupid, you dumb bitch.
Are you so popular? I just need you to know your fucking loser. I just needed to see how you could just scream with your teeth cleansed. It doesn't work.
Oh, God.
And then Zach is like, I hope kyo takes me somewhere fun. I hope my dad takes me somewhere fun on Sunday.
My 14 year old Japanese dad.
Yeah. And they end up going to the botanical garden. And susie is there, too, and Zach and her are just, like, going off. They are so excited to be there. And kyo is mad about it, of course, because he just wants to be alone. He doesn't need friends. They disappoint him. And then kyo is like, there aren't a lot of people here for a Sunday. How weird.
It's not thriving.
I like a good botanical garden. And then he sees a woman that he knows, I guess, and she's like, what have you been up to? And he's like, I'm in middle school, and I have so many friends now, even though that's not true. And then Zach swings down from a tree and kicks Kio to the ground. And then the girl that he knows gets mad for harming the plant at Zach for harming the plants. And her name is ivy because plants get it.
Wait, hang on. Before we move on, can I get hands up in the air. Did you get it?
I'm raising my hand.
I'm not.
I got it. Okay.
My hand is still down.
Yeah.
A little confused.
Well, her name is ivy because an ivy is a type slow down. I'm so sorry. An ivy is a type of plant, right? And she takes care of plants.
Wait, actually, hang on. I guess I wasn't on the same page. I thought it was because she fixes the plants and she's, like, medically helpful. Like an IV.
That's what I was thinking. Like a bag that hangs from, like, a hospital. One of those.
See? No, that's where you're mistaken. It's because she takes care of plants.
Okay, now, when does she attack Batman?
That's a different one.
Okay, only when she drinks poison.
Got you.
Yeah. So she then laughs at Zach and susie for being friends with kia.
He's your only friend. God, you guys suck, too.
And she says that she knows kyo because he used to sit in the botanical garden and read by himself. And then Zach thanks her for watching over kyo, and he's like, Will you be my friend? And she's like, of course, weird child.
I would love to be your friend. I've been waiting.
I've been working at this place just.
Counting years.
And then. We're back with Kyo, and susie is running off in the garden. She's like, bye, I'm going to go pick some fruit. And he's like, you probably can't do that. And she's like, what? And then she leaves. And then Kyo is like, slightly I'm alone. And then he sees a tree that's by damage, they've been damaged by something or someone. And then we see a flashback of some reuke looking motherfucker who I guess is also a Mimodo. Must belong to that blonde girl from the first episode. Yeah, but it's not. It was the guy that we saw in the beginning of the episode, of course, with his vine powers. So they're there, and they summoned some vines, and they grab all of the people in the garden, and they see Zach and Kyo, and they're like, we're the same. End of sentence. And they're ready to fight for the Momoto king thing. And then sorry, kyo carries ivy off to get cover from those guys. And then Kyo is like, we can't afford to lose. And he gets really serious. This anime turns into something weird right here, which is not what it was before. Now it's like a naruto with, like, a big fight.
Yeah.
And here's the thing. I don't fucking know what the stakes are, so I don't care at all. This seems completely meaningless to me. There are no stakes here.
If you knew the stake, it would be just as meaningless, I can guarantee you that. Yeah.
Real quick, Brendan, is this completely disconnected from anything else? Because it seems like they know each other.
Okay, yeah.
Since we did skip episodes, I want to make sure it's not episode context, because I sincerely doubt that it actually is.
So there's one line where the grass guy says, like, oh, we fought these electric freaks before. That's in reference to another Momodo who's basically zagg's evil twin. They look the same. They have lightning powers, but he's got this big chart. And basically the whole mood I rolled.
My eyes so hard, it was blacked.
Out for a second. The Homomodo King is basically these weird race of magical children come to our world to fight each other, and whoever's the last one standing becomes the ruler of their world for some reason.
So why do the humans give a shit?
Because the mimosas are tied to humans for some fucking reason.
Okay, great. They say they fought an electric boy before, and he knows what to do, and they don't stand a chance. And then Kyo and Zach burst out and they attack. And this guy is so surprised at how in sync they are, and they run away from those guys. Not the zach and kyo. Zach and Kyo run away from Big Guy and sugino. And we see a flashback of kio telling Zach that working together and formation in this battle will be key. And they just keep attacking and running away, and I'm bored.
At least make the fight.
Cool.
Damn it.
You can tell you guys are mad at this show because we haven't even touched on the grass guy's crazy Brooklyn axe saying it.
Oh, yeah.
This is long out of my memory.
No, we're not even oh, wow. We're not having fun, though, are we?
Yeah.
He talks like this, be like that.
Hey, it's time to duel. I'm joey.
That's a sign of a quality animal.
He wants to keep attacking, but then suzanne is like, chill out. They can't run forever. They're going to run out of power. And then they run into each other again. Well, he runs into Zach, and then he looks over and he sees Kyo carrying a guy off that they had attacked earlier. And he realizes that they haven't been attacking them. They've been attacking the vines to help people get out of the botanical garden because they're good people. And then Zach gives a speech about protecting innocent people and how they shouldn't have attacked bystanders and then Kyo we see, like, another flashback or no, I don't care. He says that Kyo told him to have enough courage in his heart, and then they'll win the duel. So we see that Kyo has carried out all of the people in the botanical garden except for susie because she is just completely unaware of what's happening. And then he goes back in to help Zach win the battle. And then Zach is struggling to keep some vines off of himself, but the courage in his heart will protect everyone. And then Kyo gets back and he calls out the spell, but he's out of power. Oh, no. How will they ever win by the power? And then Kyo gets trapped in some I guess so. That really seems like it. So Kyo gets trapped in vines, and then the other guy is like, I'm smart. I didn't use all of my little guys blasts, but now I got to ration my attacks.
It's like when mom's got a good pot of spaghetti on and you got to ration it because you can't give yourself a stomachache on day one.
With the gravy.
Oh, that good. Tomato sausage.
I have a note. I literally wrote this. I can't focus on anything they're saying because it literally doesn't matter anymore. They'll get out of this somehow.
Yeah, that's it.
Yeah. So ivy comes back and she steals the other guy's book for a second, and then they get it back right away. And then kio is like, why did you come back? And she's like, I want to help you fight him because they messed up my plants. And then she also is like, I'm so sorry that, like, when you were here reading by yourself, I didn't try to be your friend. And I'm like, no, you're not. You made fun of Zach and susie earlier for beating his friend.
I mean, granted, kio was in elementary school at that time, and she was an adult working at the botanic Garden. I can understand her hesitation.
Yeah. Why would she even be friends with him now? He's only 14.
Yeah.
And then the other guy unleashes his ultimate attack spell, and then Zach gets back up, and they both have the gift of courage in their hearts or whatever, and they do a new spell, and it's a shield, and wow, they win. Very cool. And then the other guy's spell book burns up and his momoto disintegrates dead.
That happens.
He goes back to the point of.
Winning and being the king of the.
Momotos, if they're all dead, he doesn't actually die.
He gets sent back to the Momodo world. So he's out of the tournament.
Of course. How could I be so obtuse?
You can't have murder in a kids show. It's anime.
Yeah, but so Kyo is glad ivy is okay, and he's like, I'm sorry we couldn't save your plants. And she's like, that's okay, they'll fix themselves. Or I could replace them, but you guys, I can't replace you.
So sincere. What?
Dugan, please.
Nothing.
Bother.
So susie comes back. She had no idea what was going on. She's carrying a piece of fruit behind her back, and they zoom in on it ominously, and then it's over. And that's episode seven.
Yes. Good stuff. Great.
Love it. Kiss. All right. And now for the Filler episode to fill. All filler episodes.
What? No.
The piesta resistance.
Okay, I had to take a break from watching this episode for a solid 20 minutes, and it took me a long time to get the enthusiasm back to keep watching it. But I did it for you, listeners. For the listeners. Not you, Brendan.
Until I know the kids, I know you definitely did it for me.
That's so nice of you, because I really just turned this episode on and stared at my phone.
I mean, I'll be honest, that's what I did while episode seven was happening, but still oh, there you go. It all balances out. Finally. Order in the universe.
I enjoyed episode.
I assume some bullshit happens in the previous episode, but all right, so Zach has a big old fish because kyo's sick and he wants to cheer him up with a yummy snack that only Zach eats. Cool. Great. He goes into kyo's room and he has full on waluigi syndrome, where he has, like, a giant pointy pervert nose.
It's a lot of perverts in this show.
Yes. No, I have the word pervert written at least seven times in my notes.
It's fair.
Yeah. Let's get through this quickly. How about that? That's my isolation self care. So an imposter is here. And Zach is like, oh, you look a little different. Are you feeling better? And he's like, wow, I'm not luigi. I am good friends.
Kyo, he's also got very special eyes.
Yeah, he's fucked up all around, just vaguely in the same shape of Kyo. And that's enough for zach good enough for me. So he pretends to be okay, and Kyo tries to eat the fish hole, which is something only Zach does. So Zach is like, what? How strange. He's like, oh, no. delicacy. Why? It's so good. It's delicious. I'm finally coming around to your way of looking at it. Why?
The waluigi accent is about as good as the accents are in this show.
Hey, this is also about as Brooklyn as you get. Why? So we pad up, and real kio's tied to the ceiling. We hear his inner monologue being like, oh, no, Zach. Don't believe the imposter. He's so fucking clearly not me.
He looks pretty similar.
Yeah, but this puppet guy is here. He's trying to steal their spell book. Sure. All right. So he's trying to get the spell book. He's like, oh, that me. Your good friend keo forgot where he placed the book was. So if you could be a real champ and tell me where we left it and then write a zach is about to tell him so he can be destroyed. susie comes in and fake Kyo, tries to flatter her and butter her up so she doesn't suspect a thing. But that's not going to work for real Kyo. He's like on, fuck this. Can't give my friend self esteem. So he breaks out of the ceiling and shames them, being like, hey, you dip shit. So this is so clearly not me.
I would never be kind to another human being. Are you kidding?
What? Generosity? Sharing compliments? Never. So now he hits the fake Kyo over the head, and we see it's a little duck build, baby. Man.
God bless me. Smash.
Yeah. And this is Ken chieme. And he's another doll thing. I forget what they're called. Who gives a shit? No one cares.
I care.
Kenshume is from Italy. He's the doll thing of an Italian pop star named Flugore. And he's in Japan visiting his fans and soaking up the starlight. Cool. Great. So they have Duck Boy held hostage. He's like, The Flu gore is going to come and save me any second now. And then they're there for hours, and they're like, okay, any action or plot advancement is going to happen at any second, right?
No, you don't, fool. You fell for my trap.
You thought you were watching entertainment. So he finally does show up, and he's a big old egomaniac talking about, you know me, I'm lucore. I have an album out. I am also waigi.
His accent is, like, offensively Italian. It's so absurdly. Like stereotypical italian.
Yeah. Like, he's one step below, just going, Pasquit.
Mommy. It's absurd. So we talked about zach's, voiced by Jimmy neutron. kios, voiced by wally West. parcore is voiced by David wittenberg, who is probably most notable for voicing, kakashi and Naruto and the narrator in ninja World.
Incredible.
Yeah.
And Ken chum is Richard horowitz, who is invaders in. Yeah, I was more of a grim adventure civilian mandy Boy myself, but I.
First knew him in Angry beavers daggit.
This is the only entertainment we can grip onto is what else have they done? What show that I can relate them to?
I'm just impressed by how absurd and just wild this show is with what a big cast they got for some of these insane characters.
Yeah, this is it's one of those rare shows where it's like, okay, they just got everyone like a month before they got super duper famous and popular and booking a lot. It's like, oh, boy.
If you waited.
One more month, you couldn't afford these people.
No.
It is like unearthing a relic.
It's like bonnie Steve bloom and rave master as the big monster.
So Fugore starts to dance and sing one of his pop songs to try to hypnotize that, but they zap them instead so he can't hypnotize them. So the duck is like, aha, but Flugoree, my master is so incredible and invincible. You can knock him down, but he'll never stay down. He's untouchable. So he sings a song to revive him. And it's just an extended sequence where he revives him. He gets zapped and knocked down. Then he revives him and he gets zapped and knocked down. And this keeps happening.
I'll say he doesn't even hypnotize satch with the song. It's just a catchy song. And satch is just a dumb kid, so it's not even like the song was magical or anything. It was just a catchy pop song.
Well, he even says, like, hi, have you under my spell? It's irresistible. So he's like trying to distract him.
He's selling it.
Yeah, he was just like, Zach, can you just zap this fool?
Blast this bitch away.
So they fight for real or they never fucking fight in this thing. So they go to fight, and the one spell they have turns Duck Boy into a comically large cannon. And this is the point where I needed 20 minutes to just sit, reflect.
Just walked away for a minute.
Just find any hope for the future on the internet, which was my first mistake.
You just walked away. You watched bojack Horse and something to cheer you up.
Yeah, just something peppy, something real up. So they keep shocking him and they're faking and they're like, oh, you called our bluff. We can't actually attack you. We don't know any attacks. Duck Boy is just the weakest piece of shit from Ghost Puppet dimension.
Puppet dimension?
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
Tell me I'm wrong. You're not.
His powers, he can shape shift, but he can't actually do anything in the shape shifted forms.
So I thought we were going to get a nice second here because they're like, I'm sorry, I'm just such a weakling. But then I heard Zach, he was a weakling too, but I heard he got stronger. And I was like, oh, cool. But they're trying to do something nice. And then they immediately follow that up with yeah, I heard he was so weak, so I wanted to come straight to Japan to kick his fucking ass.
Oh, boy.
Yeah, it's like, why are we having this nice moment when you're going to follow it up with yeah, because I wanted to school, you idiot, so that I can beat up the weakest kid in class and move my rank up one out of a billion.
Yeah.
So they keep trying to fight again. They say they can attack now. They throw up a big magical door thing and they shrink kenzie mae. He climbs up kyo's pants and he's like ants in your pants. They trap him because they lure him out with, like, chocolate in a pan. And they trap him when he tries to get the chocolate. And that's the fucking episode. And then they go, well, fucking see you. And they pick up and they say, hey, do you think we should have fought those italians? nah, we don't need to resolve this. The characters literally say that this was a waste of our time. And I agree.
The one time in the show I couldn't agree more.
Yes.
The one time I was on board with the bullshit, they were saying, parko.
Figura, we can all agree with what he has to say.
Okay?
That's the show.
That's the show. All right. So, dana dugan. Are we there yet? No.
Here's my issue with this shit. You bring shows like this to torture us, and I wouldn't have a problem with them if they had something. But the problem with these shows is that nothing ever happens. And I have to sit there for 20 minutes and watch the same thing three times. Three times, 20 minutes.
I don't know if I've heard dana, this vocally mad.
It's 60 minutes that I have to come home from work and sit and watch nothing happen and then talk about how nothing happens. Talk about it.
To be fair, for episode one, that's new one spell by episode eleven, he had three spells.
So there is yeah. Let's see. Every episode in between these points.
We saw the episode where he learned the second spell, which was the shield. Am I wrong?
Oh, and how did that come into play? In the third episode? They I'm sorry.
Seemed like he didn't he's learned anything new at that point. They just make it seem like he's doing another spell.
Yeah, it's a new spell. You have to learn. He learned into the bell.
You are defending it. You are. That's what you're doing every week. We say, I'm not defending it. And then you defend it.
Well, I'll say there is progression. Whether we care about the progression or not is entirely different. But there is progression.
It's imperceivable progression. It's like watching a snail go down your driveway. If you just watch it for a minute, you're like, it's not moving. It's only when you look at it like 2 hours later, it's like, oh, it moved. 2ft. Cool. Good. It's like, then why are we watching this snail?
You know what's, Buck Wild? There's over 100 of these.
Was so mad when I saw that. I was like, no, where dubbed.
There's 100 dubbed episodes and then there's 150 in original Japanese. So people think it's good. I don't know what YouTube we're talking about. It's good.
Who is this for?
Me?
For children?
Come on. It's fine. The animation is not upsetting. I've realized it's not that I and it's not that this is my type of humor like this and Ultimate Muscle and shows like this that are just dumb and absurd and silly beyond reason. I've realized that these are the shows that formed my sense of humor. They're the ones that molded who I am today, for better or for worse. Because I didn't hate this. It's worse. Okay.
I'm sorry we get so upset. I just can't believe that this keeps happening.
That this keeps happening. This is anime and I can't say no. What do you think?
We have to do your picks and we have to granted, these are like our best episode.
Where it's just getting.
I know it's coming. I really hope this is the one.
That changes my mind.
Without these wb dubs, it's never the one that changes my mind. It's like I didn't have hope to begin with, but it still hurts.
We didn't do four kids with them because they're good. We all knew that. So I don't know what you guys are doing.
Yeah, we knew. Just like you pick these because you know we're going to get mad.
Yeah, it's funny. I said at the very beginning when we started this podcast, I'm not picking good anime. I'm picking anime to show dug in the whole spectrum of anime. This way you can appreciate the good ones for how good they really are because of how much bullshit there is in this.
I hope you finish b stars now.
Yeah. If nothing else finishes in spite of this, finish it. You spite me in Zach bell.
Anytime I look at my phone, I'll be like, no, zach is counting on me to spite his memory.
I feel like instead of encouraging you to watch the good ones like be Stars and my love story and erased and shows like that, I'm just further pushing you away from all anime entirely.
With these little bit.
It's really backfired on it.
I knew it would go this route, but oh, boy.
Listen there's worship. These are corny, silly fun if we just want bad with no enjoyment out of them and all I could find just bad shows. These are silly.
I can't wait.
I just love your energy. Quit your crying or I'll give you.
Something to cry about.
Just bad energy. I'm not saying I disneyland, but I.
Can make it so much worse. No crying at Disney World. We're going home.
No I would like it more like I don't know what you're thinking of.
All right, let's see.
Sure, I would have loads of fun. Well, like with monster. moussa mae That's bullshit.
That's fun bullshit.
This is torture.
This is my fun bullshit. We didn't even talk about Ponygon's random cutaways in the 11th episode where it just shows him walking around for no.
Reason because it's undeserved. anyways, you really are a sadist.
What's happening next week?
What's? Please. Anything bad?
Here's a palette cleanser for you. It's not my pick, so there's at least a array of hope in there. It'll be good.
Yeah, I trust. The source of this next episode next.
Episode is a recommendation from our friend who will soon be a friend of the show because we're having them on. We're having our friend and voice actor Brian Anderson on to watch natsume's book of Friends. It's certainly not bizarre Bell book after this episode. No, there's no friends left in that book.
Yeah, truly a death note, because I wish that nothing.
He'S killing off children in his death note.
Great.
Can't wait to have our good friend Brian to heighten the mood and hopefully watch a fun, good show. From what he's told me about it, I cannot wait. It sounds like a hoot.
And if there's a show you, the listener would like us to watch, please send us your recommendations. Please send us your recommendations. Please send us your recommendations. Please send us your recommendations.
Unnecessary.
You can send them to our email rwarriet@gmail.com or you can send them to us via Twitter and Instagram at are we there yet? On both. You can find me on Twitter and Instagram at mrpatrick. dugan.
You can find me on Instagram at queen. Period Weebu, and on Twitter at queen underscore weeaboo and Queen underscore Weeaboo art.
You can find me on Twitter abts. Brendan, tweeted me some of your favorite monumes. The little maggot children and humans. Yeah, just look up some of those designs. They're wild. Some of them get buck wild.
Don't turn this into digital.
You found me out.
Thank you to camille ruley for her artwork. Thank you to Louisong for theme song stories off the album Beats. You can find all of louie's music at Louisong bandcamp.com. Thank you, and we hope you'll join us next week as we learn to live with anime.
I really hope you join us next week, because this oh, my God.
I apologize for nothing.