Hello, and welcome to our weep Barrier in exploration and editor occasion and anime. I'm your anime idiot, patrick dugan.
I'm an anime expert, dee hollander gonzalez.
And I'm brenda mccullough. Your anime movie monster that Del toro made a feature length slash fiction about.
I was going to say, is this pinocchio?
Listen, Lady Death. Listen, we could talk.
I find that you know what? I was reading a very short romance novella about a sea monster, a lake monster, actually, to be more specific. And it describes him as, like, that.
Type, sensual, high world.
Specifically, the guy from The Shape of Water. It was fun. It's called? Found by the lake monster.
You kind of know what you're getting into with that title.
It's also the first page has a lot of content warnings for some monster fuckery kind of things.
Anyway, this episode hey, once or once, we're off the rails, but we're talking about books. So it's culture this time. Normally, it's about bullshit.
Dee is talking about books. I'm talking about Del toro making hellboy. And something awoke within him, and he's like, hey, wait a minute.
Let me make abe sapien again. But with the perfect butt.
I have time to sculpt.
Hey, Doug Jones, get back in that suit. I don't care what you're doing. I don't care if it's your kid's birthday. I need you in that suit.
Doug Jones at a coffee shop once. This is too off the rails, but I had to mention it.
Sorry. It's my pick. We never said a chance.
And this is.
What are we watching?
We're watching Black lagoon. The thing the creature is from that place, that old chestnut.
This was an anime adaptation of that book I was talking about. That would be thrilling.
Well, do either of you know anything about this? Because I don't. So it might be.
Yeah, it still could be. No. Nothing?
No. I feel like maybe I've heard the name before, but I could be confusing it with Black Butler or Black clover, any of those ones.
It's one I've definitely heard and has seen around a lot. I looked it up and I was like I was very surprised to see it's from 2006. Boy, howdy. I didn't think it was that old. But, yeah, it's a name I've seen around the ton. And there's one character I've seen even more, so I'm just like, I guess it's popular. I know literally nothing about it.
Besides, could this possibly be for the same reason we know about Fish Man's butt popularity?
I don't think so. Yeah, it is. It's a pretty lady with tattoos and daisy dukes and guns.
So there it is.
Yeah, it's funny that you said that. You didn't think it was that old coming out in 2006 because when I looked it up, I would have thought it came out in, like, the late 90s, early 2000s. Interesting.
You have a better gauge of it than I do. Do I I mean, I would have thought it was like 2010.
I guess so. I guess early 2000s is a better guess than that.
I guess it was from the 1970s. So it's way off. At least you are in the ballpark.
I feel like 2006 animes, for some reason, just have a very distinct style. And you just know, even though they don't all look the same, like things like or on High School Host Club and hari Suzamiya. It's just like, yeah, that's 2006.
You're not wrong. I think it tracks with what I know of the show, which, again, is very little. But also, I think it's just really showing. Like, I don't understand time anymore. That's gone. I've lost that ability.
Well, I understand. It's time for us to take a break. We're going to pause and watch the first three of them.
Let's go.
Are you ready to be a badass, or are you just a piece of shit pussy? Welcome to Black lagoon.
I'm a piece of shit.
We know where we lie. Let's not. We're doing a podcast. We know which one it is.
I'm sitting in my closet right now. That's not where cool people hang out.
I'm cozy.
I am encased in foam. I am so safe and protected real quick when I get off the top, harry champ, the man, dustin to be king. That's the voice. That's where the dub is. And I couldn't hear anything besides the actor who does Harry champ from zoids.
Oh, I missed that. But I knew I loved him.
Yeah, I heard the voice somewhere. I'm like, where is it? It's deep in my brain for some goddamn reason. It's Harry champ and zoids. Once again, I couldn't hear anything else and it drove me nuts. There's also nightcrawler and xmen evolution, which is better. Anyway, episode one. Start off with the opening because this shows old and that's what they did back in the back. So we get the opening standard. Just a lot of cuts of characters being badass. And Guns and shooty opens with voiceover from the main character. We get his name. I just wrote down Rock because that's what he goes by after the first episode. And it'll be easier for all of us. So we get a voiceover from him saying he was a kid who graduated from university. Holy shit. The show is not about a high school genuinely amazed score. I was like, even if it's not good, that's already at one point, starting.
Off on a high note.
We're eating good tonight.
And he talks about how he got a corporate job and he works in Winter City and it's depressing as hell. And the corporate job is draining his soul, which, yeah, that tracks. That all adds up. Modern day. And the only thing that keeps him going is the glorious South China Sea. That is beautiful. And he's hoping to and then he gets punched in the face. So we're in present day apparently. And we see our main character is just a young man business, not suit business casual, collared shirt, tie slacks, on a boat being robbed. They're being shucks. They're being attacked by pirates. And he is being attacked by a man and woman who have guns to them. And the woman calls the man Dutch. Large ball of black man with the little John lennon. We've seen these before.
Who has little glasses? Little manglasses.
But they also got to shape the blinders on the side so it creates a seal around the eyes. Very anime.
It's always that character that has those glasses, like that type. The big leader, man.
Yeah.
The neo glasses or not neo. The morpheus glasses.
So make her rocks on the ship is being robbed by them. And then the pirates jump back to their ship saying they got a disc, a discant from Rock saying this is what they were after. Everyone's good does what they say. They can go back on their way and not have any more trouble. And when they jump back onto the ship, surprise, surprise. The lady, revi is her name, took Rock with them as a hostage, which was not part of the plan.
Confusing, questionable. Why?
We find out why. Turns out she's pissed off that they're only getting 20k for this job, saying that's not enough. We need more money. So I took a hostage so we can sell them back. So Dutch is like, cool. Who are you selling them back to? Who is he? How valuable is he? And how are you going to get that money? She's like, God damn it, just dicks. And starts shooting her gun off. So she's stable.
I guess that's just what I meant when I said why? More of like, what's the plan here, babe?
Don't you make me think fucker.
That could be verbatim.
Yeah. The dialogue, especially in the dub, is very 2006, very swear. Every line you can taste.
It delicious, very oky, we're doing a cartoon.
Yes, we're doing a cartoon that can say, fuck. We got to get them in there, got to use them. Every other line. We do it.
Got to get the arsler in there.
Yeah. I didn't realize how old the show was until they spoke. And I was like, yeah, that's it. So, yeah, revvy is shooting her gun off, pissed off. And Dutch is able to put her in a headlock and calm her down. But we get a little snippets of them around the ship. We find out the ship's name is the Black lagoon. There it is for those wondering. And we cut back to Winter City, and they've revealed that the Black lagoon group is working for their pirates, their fragile answers and such. But they've been working for the Russian mafia. And they're looking to unseat the Chinese mafia in this section of the Southeast Chinese Sea. And they're trying to move in on their territory. So when we're back in Winter City, we see a bunch of corporate suits who work for the same company that Rock works for, and they're talking about how they're going to handle this group of pirates that have their disk of stolen information on it. And they're saying that the pirates don't really know what they stole. It seems like they just took it and are the middlemen and handing off to someone else. But because they don't know what they took, they don't know how urgent it is. So they have a chance to intercept the pirates and take the disc back before the Russian mafia gets a hold of it. And then that's when we see we cut back to the Black lagoon crew, and we see Dutch takes rook to the top of the ship, and they have a little cigarette and they hang out for a bit, and he's just talking him down, kind of being like, hey, didn't plan on kidnapping you. Nothing personal. Sorry about revie. She's out of her mind.
She's stupid.
Yeah, she'd be like that.
And while he's a real Power prototype.
Yes, but for some reason, I like Power more.
This one is dumb in a not endearing way.
Yeah. And also, we're not necessarily supposed to like Power. Like, it's a goofy she's terrible thing. This is I think you're supposed to like this girl for some reason.
Yeah, because she's a badass.
She's not like other girls.
Revie'S got a tragic backstory that we got to dig into. She definitely is the selling point of the show. I think she's most featured in the opening. She is the full ending. She is very much like you want to look at revie. Power is like, here's a dumb bit character that everyone loves, and genuinely, no one knows why because she does suck on paper.
She's canonically racist.
Denjam says, yeah, she does a flush of toe, but we love that about her. I don't love that she's racist.
That's bad. Very bad, actually.
But while they're on top of the ship having a cigarette, rock is thinking in his head, he's like, oh, this must be what stockholm syndrome is. Because I feel like Dutch is the only one who can really protect me and has my best interest at heart. It's like, yeah, that's stockholm syndrome. You've known him for like an hour.
Why do I want his hands? Man?
I get he's a handsome man. He's a big man. A big strong man. Back at the office, we see the managers talking about what's happening, and we get one guy in a suit who really just blends in with the others. And I really struggled to remember who this guy was, but his name is kagayama, and he's the one who's put in charge of the rescue operation for the disk, not for Rock, because all they care about is that information on that disc. And then we cut back to the Black lagoon crew and we see them sailing into port at some island. And they offload. All right, we're heading out to the island. Hey, Rock. And this is when he gives them the nickname Rock. Hey, Rock, you want to come join us? He's like, oh, I'm a hostage. Yeah, whatever. So hostage in very loose terms because, I mean, where is he going to go? It's an island.
Do you want to be a hostage on the boat or a hostage where we have food? Come on.
I'm not like, a normal kidnapper. I'm a fun kidnapp. I'm a cool kidnapper kid. I let you drink, but only around us, so I know you're safe.
I'd rather you do it in the house.
I'd rather you do it in the torpedo boat, sweetie.
So they get off the boat, and they go around the island, and we just see it's basically just a giant red light district of just bars and brothels and some sort of casino gambling areas and stuff, a pirate town. And we see Rock asking what this place is, and Dutch explains that this used to be an island manned by the vietnamese soldiers during the war. And after the war is over, they took on some more fugitive soldiers, and it kind of became like a derelict, deadbeat island full of criminals and fugitives and stuff like that. So it's all kind of just it's modern day Wild West. There's no law. So the fun setting, and we see Wild at the bar. Dutch gets up to go make a call, and Rock and benny. benny is basically their tech guy who stays in the van. Whatever you're thinking he looks like, you nailed it.
That's what he looks like again, unfortunately, like in Guncats or whatever. It was my type.
He's not a baby girl. He's not fucked up to nothing girl, but he's got a baby girl aesthetic.
Which is a smarmy tech bro in.
A hawaiian shirt with stubble and a ponytail. You know what he looks like?
You've seen spiderman?
Spiderverse?
Peter B. Parker.
That's him with ponytail.
It's much like spiderverse. He's just the guy from neon genesis, but he's blonde now. He's just the blonde version of him.
They're all over the place. shockingly.
So we see benny's talking to Rock and saying, like, oh, benny, how'd you get into this situation? Like, you seem stable. And benny is like, oh, well, back in Florida, I pissed off the Mafia and the FBI and revie came and rescued me, so now I'm here.
It's like, he is Florida, man.
He is Florida man. God knows what he did to get into the situation. And revi starts to steer the conversation away, saying, like, beer is just piss. You know, we don't drink that stuff. If you really want to get drunk, you got to drink the hard stuff and pours, like, a full glass, like it's like a whiskey glass. But pours into the brim with some liquor for Rock and pours them for herself and she just slams it. It's like she's tough. She's like, if you really want to get drunk, you got to drink rum. I was like, what? No. As a rum guy in college? No, that's bad. And it is not nearly as tough as like as if she drank a full glass of whiskey.
The sweetest sugariest liquor there.
It just really took the punch out of her action.
It sounded especially goofy when she was when they were like, bartender, give us every bottle of bacardi you have your.
Bachelorette weekend, you're going to have a headache. You're going to have the worst headache. Also funny that they say picardi in this line, but then in later sequences, they have Henrikin, which is a knock off Henrikin. So they got some clearance, I guess, for picardi. So Rock says rock slams the drink and says he hates drinking chugging drinks like a teenager because they made him force him to drink in college and at work events. And he feels like it's a waste, but he does it anyway. So he's going toe to toe with revie and he's like, you fool.
You dare challenge a Japanese businessman to a drinking contest? Did you think me a fool?
And so we see them at the bar doing that. Well, we pan over to see Dutch on the phone talking to their handler. And we see it's a blood woman who just all scarred up. And she has her own hostage that tells them what they really stole off that boat and who the guy is that they kidnapped. So she just says the guy. She's like, interrogating for information. And she lets Dutch in on all this information, telling them they're carrying something pretty valuable and that people are probably going to be coming after them for it.
I really liked her voice. I feel like she had one of those voices that you don't very commonly hear in an anime dub. When I was into it, we find.
Out she's part of the Russian mafia, which we were kind of hinted at before. And she kind of slips into a more Russian tone at times, but not always. But it does feel intentional and not like sloppy. And I was like, I did very much like her. She is also a very dominating woman with a bunch of scars. So she is my type.
I just think when there are older women in anime and it's not even really shown that she's older or anything.
It'S just kind of older than a teenager.
You can tell that whoever is playing her is an older woman and not like, you know, a person in their 20s pretending to be a 40 year old woman. And I like that. Yeah, I think it's neat.
I don't see a lot of her, but I liked her. And yeah, right on key. She's like, hey, there's people going to be coming after you. Dutch for that guy and for that disc. And he's like, ah, noted grenade. Just rolls into the bar right as she says that and explodes, taking out a bunch of people and causing smokescreens and chaos. And everyone takes cover because it's a pirate island. You're used to it here. So they get behind the bar with a bartender because the bar is bulletproof because it happens so much. And Dutch tells revie, why don't you show them all why you're called Two Hands? Which as far as nicknames go, that one sucks.
And also not her nickname, because it's fucking revi.
What do those two hands do?
You know who else has two hands? Most people. It's not niche, but so all the guys that are outside of the bar that are shooting in and through the grenades, after a while, they stop, and you hear one of the captains go like, hey, I heard people talking, look for survivors and finish at the job. So we see the gunners going to the bar and looking for people. And as they do, revi jumps out and start shooting everybody. And it takes cover again and starts shooting more people, doing a bunch of flips and stuff. And we see Rock notices revi smiling as she kills all these rocks kind of putting together. She might not be stable or mentally. Well, don't know why it took them this long.
Why are bad guys in anime so bad at aiming their guns?
It's amazing. It's amazing.
One woman with two guns versus many men with guns that fire much faster than her. Two guns.
Yeah, I mean, I guess I kind of have to, because if revie jumped over to the bar and got capped immediately, like, well, that's the show.
That would have been fun. It would have been subversive.
I do appreciate that. In the movie The Other Guys, where the Rock and Sam Jackson jump off a building and immediately die. Yeah, it's like, the first ten minutes. So we see. Dutch says that Rock isn't worth saving because clearly his employer sent mercenaries after them to kill him. So it's like, they don't want you. We don't want you. bye. Good luck. And Rock says, like, no, you brought me out here. You have to take me with you. I'm your responsibility now. And Dutch is like, Fine, but if you slow us down, we're cutting you lose. So just got to keep up. And so as revi is taking out the militia guys, they all run into a getaway car that benny got, and revie jumps in, and they get away. And we see the militia guys kind of regroup. They're like, oh, how many wheels? 24 injured and like, 16 dead, or something insane. It's like, there's one lady, but the captain some crazy guy with a big scar on his face and says he's excited because how much they lost proves how capable these people are in a fight. And he's excited that they have the energy for it. And he's getting all hot and bothered to fight like a real military pervert. So they get back to their ship, they set sail, and Dutch says that they're going to get in touch with the rock's company to try and sort this out and figure out what the hell is actually happening. But they're saying if they don't want them, they'll leave Rock in Malaysia and he has to survive on his own. And Rock is like, hey, no, that sucks. That sounds dangerous, and I don't want to be on my own. We got to figure this out. You kidnapped me. It's your fault. So they get on the call with Kakayama, the guy who's in charge of recovering the disk, and he talks with Rock on a secure line. And kagiyama is like, all right, I'm going to be real with you. That disk has information about our company who was hired by a trigger happy country to build and develop nuclear weapons. So we can't let that get out. And he kind of like sized, and he's like, I don't know why we agreed to do it. Why would you even discuss nukes in this day and age? It's ludicrous. But he's like, but we got to recover before that information leaks out to the public. And he says he's currently not in a position where he can really do anything to save Rock. So his best bet is he's going to try and get the disc. And rock's best bet is he's better off a laying low somewhere out in the South China Sea and starting a new life for himself.
Good luck, buddy.
He'll post. What's the word when you die and get promoted posthumously? Oh, yeah, I'm trying to use big words. I shouldn't I know my place.
No. Good job. I think that was right.
You did it. We're proud of you.
The gold star.
Don't be proud of tricking my words right now. They say he's going to essentially publicly be dead on the company's record and get promoted to, like, you know, manager or something shitty. It's not the military. It's not an honor to be promoted after death in a corporate office. And he says he'll get all the heads of the company to attend his funeral. And basically being like, that's the best I can do for you. Why don't you sit tight and wait for my mercenaries to come and kill your whole group? Like, cool. Thanks, Kaguyama. You fucking suck.
The first episode is Rock learning that capitalism is bad and your boss doesn't actually care about you.
What a concept. Always relevant and has never been more relevant last 200 years. Anyway, it's 2006.
It'll be over soon. Don't worry.
And we see a shot of the mercenaries getting ready and basically just being like, oh, man, we're loading up this helicopter. It's full of shit to kill. These guys really just hammering home that these mercenaries are really loaded with the weapons and Rock starts freaking out and just like, puking up the side of the ship because, yeah, he basically stoles, like, good luck, buddy. So he's got no hope of being rescued. And benny says, there's something on her tail, boss, and it's going too fast to be a boat. And sure enough, they see in the distance the attack helicopter was sent after him. And we see the militia captain piloting the helicopter again, and he's excited. He sees revi get on top with this huge sniper rifle, start shooting at the helicopter, and the captain is looking for a fight, which revi is happy enough to give her him what? And we see as she's firing back, rock starts freaking out and starts putting on a life vest, saying he's going to jump ship and try, you know, just try to be rescued by somebody. And rovia has to tackle him down. We see the militia captain getting cocky, basically playing with his food like a cat. And he's shooting up the boat, but not shooting at their engines, not shooting the torpedoes they have on top of the deck that would easily kill all of them. So he's playing around, he's toying with. And we see Rock gets up, he's pissed, and everybody telling him what to do and wherever he hands him an assault rifle and says, here, be of use, get to work. And he throws the gun off the boat, saying, why is he going to suffer like this? And that's the end of episode one. The ending is a shot of revie walking on the beach as she drops off her gear and guns, takes off her boots, and then holds a gun at the camera. It's weird, and I don't get it at all.
Spooky experimental, I do have to correct you one thing. It does end with him throwing the assault rifle to what looks like he's throwing it at the helicopter. And then it cuts to credits. And I was like, okay. So already in this first episode, they've already heightened to the level of nuclear weapons. If this motherfucker just throws a gun at a helicopter and blows it up.
I don't know if I'll love it.
Or hate it, but that's definitely not the expected the reality of the world.
It's camp.
Yeah, it does stop right before right after the gun has turned. I also had that thought of like, no, they can't do one.
Yeah. I've never seen this in a show where they're like, hey, we dare you to keep watching the next episode because we need you to be like, no, they're not going to do that. What's a cliffhanger. But in the no, you don't have the audacity sense.
Where do you get off? I'm watching that second episode. How dare you?
Why cliff do you jump off? So, episode two, we see kagayama back at the offices talking about, oh, well, it's unfortunate. Rock is going to die, but he's in the South Chinese sea. What a beautiful place to die. Well, we got to book a trip to go there because I have business to attend to. So we go back to the helicopter fight, and Rock throws his gun. And they give you just that moment of, is he throwing it through the windshield? But no, it just goes in the spotting.
To be fair, he's got a hell of an arm. That gun could far.
So of course he's super upset. And Dutch is confused about the helicopter just following them. It's just tailing at, like a far distance. And they see why the helicopters leading them up a river. So they're like, all right, this river is going to get treacherous. It's going to narrow and eventually end. So it's just trying to run as a ground. So let's try to turn back out to sea. But the helicopter shoots at them, forcing them to go up the river. So as they're going up, they see how treacherous it is. There's a capsized ship in here. Oh, no. Has he done it before? The helicopter eventually just sits at the mouth of the river waiting for them, being like, yeah, I want to take these guys on head on. I need an honorable fight in my.
Helicopter, my boat versus helicopter duel.
So eventually the boat keeps going, looking for a way out, but they hit some beautiful waterfalls.
Oh, no.
Nature foiled us again. And then Dutch realizes that the pilot wants to do this face to face, head on duel. And Rock is like, hey, guys, what if we called the police? And they're all like, you fucking idiot, and slap them. Then we see kagayama on a plane. He's just having a pleasant old time. He's just having a normal civilized experience to contrast. So they're up the river and they're like, all right, well, conveniently, like in the bar, this thing shot at a very small boat with two torpedoes. And they all just came within, like, millimeters, but they didn't hit them. But we're worried about when it becomes narratively relevant. And then they do hit them. What happens then? And Dutch is like, yeah, I was always hanging on to them. I thought they would come in use. And Rock is like, hey, I know it was crazy when you thought I was going to throw a gun through a helicopter, right? That would be just nutty, right? I have a more real thing we can do. I need you to ramp that boat so that capsized ship, we need to ramp it so we can jump up and torpedo this helicopter in the air. And they're all like, that's crazy. I'm going to use an outdated slur about how crazy this idea is. But they're like, it's just outdated slurred enough to work. So they turn around. They're like, yeah, this helicopter guy is a dualist. He just wants this fight. They keep saying that over and over again. They're like, yeah, this. Guy. Oh, he's sick. He wants to fight us head on. Even though he's been not chasing you at all. He could have found more face to face ways to kill you. But anyway, so they start charging down the river. They're all manning their stations. Revie has their big gun to shoot just to keep it distracted. Rock has a flare gun for any missiles that come their way. And, oh, boy, they sure do the thing. They jump a boat and fire a torpedo, and it hits the guy right in the face. Got it. Everyone's okay. But Rock passes out because the little guy's all tuckered out. He had a big day.
Oh, shucks, baby's. First torpedo fight.
These precious memories.
Take a picture.
Just real dukes of Hazard ask. Just jump in the fucking boat against the helicopter.
Yeah. Again, this is episode two. And they're starting real high.
They're jumping the shark.
I just want to say it. I did.
I was waiting.
Also, afterwards, Duke says, amen, hallelujah. And peanut butter. What?
Praise peanut butter. I love peanut butter.
It's not bad, but that's not anything. What does he say?
I've never heard that in my life.
What does that mean? Dutch, maybe?
In Japanese, he says another kind of food. And in the English, dub, they were like, we got to say something more American.
What do you have for lunch? Peanut butter sandwich in there it is. Cool.
That's an exclamation now. So, yeah. They bring the Russian mob lady the disc, and kagayama is there, too, for the handoff. They just hand it from one person to the next. They just like fireman slattered. Just, like, hand things around. So they get the disk to the Russian mob lady. The Russian mob lady gives a tick to haageama. And kagayama is like, all right, kid. Come on back with me. And Rock is like, hey, you told me to die in the Chinese Sea. fuck you. I'm not going back with you. I got a real crew now, right? Oh, shit. I probably should ask them if I could be part of their crew first before I said no to get back to Japan. So kayama is like, okay, again, I don't care about you. I just wanted the disc. Goodbye.
I'm being a criminal.
So we then cut, and we see an oil tanker sailing. And they're like, hey, there's a small boat blocking our path. What's the deal? And we see it's. The Black lagoon. They got a job because Rock is part of the crew now. Officially, Rock is using a bullhorn to very politely be like, hey, if you could pull over, that would be pretty sick. We don't want to hurt you guys, so if you could just stop and of course, say, Radio. And they're like, hey, we're going to run you over your pirates, clearly. And then revis like, okay, let me try it my way. And pulls out an rpg and shoots it and then says, all right, the next one's going through your fucking head.
Stop it on the rest.
So this is their next bounty because they're pirates now, and they contact the team saying they stopped the boat. And Rock is like, wow, like, yesterday I was a businessman, and now I'm a pirate. What a world. That's where we end episode two.
I do like another one pirate show one piece.
I do like his pirate motif of just being the salary man pirate.
Yeah. Revie says, like, why don't you wear that hawaiian shirt I got you? I'm like, oh, that'd be good. And I remember benny already has that covered. So I'm like, no, the office worker pirate. It's more of a thing. It's a better gimmick.
I need my brand.
I hate to say it, but I am rewatching. Our flag means death.
And this is also I love to hear it. I don't know why you hate to say it.
Well, luckily our flag wings death is much, much better than this.
Thank you for saying I needed that validation today.
So episode three, we're starting out. They're nearing a coast near the city of rwanda poor. And they keep showing this buddhist statue when they talk about it, but it doesn't matter, so I'm not even going to bother.
It's a metaphor, because the eyes on the buddhist statue are script off so we can't see the accident. I don't care. I'm not going to pretend like.
Rock does say that they leave a noose hanging on a bridge just as a threat and to show how tough they are in this city. He says, It's the city of pleasure, baby. And we see him getting his face shaved by a big dude, and I'm like, hey, if that's how you get.
Your pleasure, if you had a good shave, it does something for you.
Full body shave, erotic.
There's a bird that keeps saying, I'll kill you again, just to show how tough the city is because it's hurt it so many times. Rock sees an old person in the street selling some, like, fruit or something, and he buys some as. Rock gets back to their office hotel room. I don't know. Dutch is leaving. And Rock asks reverb where he was going, and she says, it doesn't matter. It's not their business. She takes one of the things that he bought and spits it out, saying it tastes awful. And he laments that he guesses the city is scummy all over around this part.
Racosa says they keep their past to themselves, except for benny, who told you his past immediately when he first met you at that bot. Like, he immediately told us his back story.
Yeah, but he's from Florida.
He would he would do that.
Revi says that he has no chance of surviving in the city if he stays this soft. And yeah, he thinks about how he doesn't know anything about either revi or Dutch, but he does know about benny.
We all know about benny.
Yeah.
We see Dutch on the phone. He says to send 120,000 to the flyers company. A mystery that doesn't come up again in this episode. 120,000 what? I don't know. He doesn't even say.
A unit of money credits.
So a guy drives up in a car, and he knows him. His name is Mr. shin. I will refer to him as Car Guy for the rest of the episode.
Thank you.
He asks Dutch how business is, and the car guy asks how long he's going to run around with that crazy Russian girl. All the russians are taking over the city, am I right? And I wasn't sure if he was talking about Revie here or the boss lady.
I think it's the boss lady.
Okay. Again, nothing that really matters but cargo tells Dutch that he should pull out quickly. And Dutch says that even bad guys have common sense. And he turns out he delivered some stuff to an army for this guy, and it apparently did not go well, so these fellas don't get along. He walks away from the car, and Car Guy says that he yells after Dutch and says, you won't get a second chance. And Dutch is like, right back at you. So he keeps walking through the city. It seems like everyone there knows who he is. benny drives past, excited about something he picked up. Dutch tells him to put it on the boat. And when benny drives away, he's like, my crew can be so simple sometimes.
Real quick, not important to anything. But when Dutch is walking around, he walks by a building that has an open door, and inside is a guy eating a full meal by himself, like, facing the door, and sees Dutch walking by and starts talking about Dutch. And I was like, again, it's to show that just everyone knows Dutch. It is just an insane looking scene to me.
He's like, surrounded by bodyguards.
Also, it's an empty room. It's entirely empty, except at the table. He's eating it, and it's just him eating, and he's facing an open doorway. And just like what?
I might be a mob bus, but I love people watching.
Yeah, I like to see outside when I'm eating my spaghette.
There goes Dutch again, walking around. What are you talking about?
I'm still mad of the people.
How'S your daughter?
Hey. We said racism was bad at the top of the episode, and then we made the mobster Italian bicycle. I'm so sorry.
To the Italian community.
We love you.
So back at the office or hotel, whatever it is, Rock is snoozing. revvy wakes him up and says that they have a job. They all get in the car and get going. Dutch says that they're working for donnie Yen, receiving a package from the vietnamese military. revi says it's a lame job and makes fun of rock's office clothes. We see the car guy on the phone and says to someone that they fell for the trap. So this job is some kind of setup from this guy. So off they go on the boat, the Black lagoon. Rock is practicing tying a knot like a good sailor. Revie calls him clumsy, uses the Rslur again and says he's not cut out for this.
Yeah, you kidnapped him like a day ago.
Let him get used to it. jeez. There is a dog barking outside.
Dog close knots.
I've never heard any dog barking in this apartment complex. That's weird.
They know you're recording?
Yeah, you got to fucking up.
Just like the fucking ice cream truck. So Rock asks her not to be too hard on him, and she asks him what he used to do for work. And he talks about his boring office job. And he's like, yeah, I did this stuff, but really what we all had to do was appease the boss. And Revie calls him disgusting for putting up with that. And he says, it was whatever, I just did it to make money. And he asks her what she did before this, and she says this is what she's always done her whole life, even as a kid. It's no joke.
It's super serious.
Yeah. benny tells Dutch that there are several boats approaching. And he asks benny to figure out who they are because they're probably not merchant boats. More boats. More boats are coming. They're speeding up and surrounding them. Revie says they stink too much like blood and smoke to be cops. They're pirates?
Yar, I couldn't tell.
I can smell them from this boat.
Yeah, she can smell them from that far away. It's like, oh, they might be cops. I don't know. They have a goddamn shark face painted on the front of their boat. I don't think that's uniform for a cop.
The shark cops. I knew it.
Shit.
The cops are those cops that apprehend sharks or cops that are sharks or both.
They don't discriminate on their hiring policies.
Love it.
I don't know. They're cops. They probably oh, yeah.
Oh no. So Rock asks Dutch about the client, and then Dutch gets a call from one of the other pirates, someone named lulac. And Dutch quickly figures out that it was a setup from the car guy. The shooting starch. I can't talk. The shooting starts. Dutch tells Revie to do her thing, and she takes out the boats pretty easily. And I said, I'm not going to bother taking notes on the specifics of this. It's just shooting and boat jumping and reporting to Dutch about the shooting and boat jumping. So revi shoots the last boat, takes it down. Rock is impressed, but he does wonder what her life was like before to lead her here.
Cargo, I know you're a bad ass, but you must also be sad.
Oh, you have a hard outer shell, but you must be so sensitive and soft inside.
Because you're a girl, sometimes you can just be sad. You don't need the badass part.
It's true. Look at me. Just kidding. The car guy is upset that the guys he sent couldn't do the job, so he's like, in a room packing stuff up. And we see some people are walking up to his room, and it's the blonde boss lady. He says, oh, I can explain. But she kicks him in the face and she says that they know everything they need to. And it's here that she, like, slips into a Russian accent. Back in the office hotel room, their phone rings and it's her. The blonde Russian lady. Rock hands the phone to Dutch. She says that she heard they went on a wild goose chase and that she heard it from the car guy and that he was blabbing it to everybody. And we see that she left him tied up with a bomb in the room, and she detonates it and says that she'll give Dutch a new job soon. And he hangs up the phone. Dutch asks everybody and the crew if they have any plans, and they all say no. And he says, because of everything that happened, we're going to the bar to drink away our sorrows. Yeah. And that's the end of episode three.
Time to celebrate by being sad.
Yeah, I like that. She asks Dutch like, hey, you want to hear something cool? And then blows up the building. And Dutch goes, yeah, that is cool.
Great. I think what she says, though, is like, oh, do you want to hear something funny? And then she says something else and then explodes the bomb. So I was like, I don't okay. But yeah, that is very funny. Cool.
I think of the bow fight. Dutch also says, like, let's do the jitter bug, baby. And then revi jumps between both. This dialogue is a choice, that's for damn sure.
It's goofy.
Quick observation I've been realizing the time kind coincides with 2006 and around 22,007, when I was thinking about it, revie looks like Crash bandicoot. What? She's got shorts and the tribal tattoos. And 2007 is when Crash got the tribal tattoos on his hands. I'm not wrong.
Oh, my God.
Objectively, I'm just bringing this knowledge to everyone's mind and mine as well.
I'm sorry, my my reaction was wrong, I should say. whoa.
I mean, that's about the highlight of the show for me.
Yeah, this this confused me because, like, especially episode one where they're like, hey, we got to set the tone. This is a show about badasses for badasses. Like, that sucks, so but there are also some just very well directed, well animated sequences that I'm like, oh, I didn't expect something to because, like, we are saying it looks very 2006, which it does. I don't know, I feel like we've attempted to describe this, you know, what it is, but it has that old school, like yeah, this is certainly a death notey, but at the same time, there are things that do look good. I'm like, okay, you got me about 20% of the time, but the rest bad rate. Yeah, the rest is full of just outdated slurs and being badasses for the sake of being badasses. And I don't think anyone needs to see this series.
I think shows that seriously have a city where it's like, yeah, everyone here is in the mafia or is a gangster. Everyone here is bad. I'm like, that's stupid, and I don't like it. I don't know.
Mentally doesn't work, but it's just an excuse for them to be like, let's have a gunfight potentially anywhere.
Yeah. Like, in Adventure Time, they have that thing thee city. But that's a joke.
It's making fun of that.
Yeah. But to me, saying it out loud, it feels like a weird generalization that feels really icky and bad of like, yeah, there are towns out there that are just filled with criminals. But, yeah, this was not even if it wasn't goofy and 2006 E, this isn't for me anyway.
I would have preferred if it was goofier, because yeah, I agree. It takes itself way too serious for, like, jumping a boat at a helicopter in the second episode, like, yeah, let's let's not act like we're, you know, high class. Like, this is this is rugged bad. It's like, no, let's get tongue and cheeky. Let's get dumb.
That could have been, like, the suitcase jet pack in the first episode of Big Up.
Oh, yes, absolutely.
But instead they're like, yeah, this is a cool, badass thing we're doing.
What if the hazard was serious? It would also be bad.
It's all bad.
Damn, those Duke. Those Dutch brothers are added again.
I really wanted it to freeze frame.
Sponsored by Dutch bros. Coffee.
Yeah. Are we there yet? No. Honestly, this podcast has just turned into my anime bucket list of like, I heard of this show one time, what's this about? And we watch it and go, yeah, I probably would have loved it at the time, but not now.
Had to give it a chance.
It's gone.
It's the service we're providing you, dear listener, so you can listen to about the same length of watching these episodes, but without all that art to look at.
Better, right?
Do you want cowboy bebop, but with worse dialogue? And on boats instead of spaceships? And no dog. Here you go.
Yeah, you got it.
And the no dog is the worst part of it.
He's got Penny instead. It's fucking he's not that bad, but he's not a corgi.
No.
I bet he's a furry that redeems it.
He is from Florida. Just kidding. I don't know anything about people from Florida.
Notoriously all furries. Look at Disney World full. anyways, if there's a show you would like us to watch for you so you don't have to, you can send those recommendations. I say that realizing that means you're about to send us some trash. So I am scared. But you can send those recommendations to our email are weeb there Yet@gmail.com? Or reach out to us on TikTok or Instagram or Tumblr. Yes, running through the list updating my speech pattern. I go into a fuqua state whenever I do this. Are we there yet on all platforms?
Yeah. You can find me on Instagram and TikTok at honey. Period d or on tumblr at honeyd. All one word. And honey is spelled H-U-N-N-I-E. Find me.
On Twitter at apts. Brandon. My Twitter, much like the rest of the site, is dying and not good.
Thank you to camille ruley for her artwork. And thank you to Louisong for themesong stories. You can find all of louis's music at Louisong bandcamp.com. Thank you and we hope you'll join us next week as we learn to live with anime.
I would just like to say if you're a furry, I love and respect you.
Power to the furries.
Does that make benny dingo dial? More crashes will get me. Thank you.