Sonic gets thick.
If we go any deeper, it may.
Be hopeless for us. Hello and welcome to our weed There Yet in exploration and education and anime. I'm your anime idiot, patrick dugan.
I'm an anime expert, D hollander.
And I'm brenda mccullough. Your anime specialize.
Your brand, my brand. I did just get contacts delivered. How did you know?
Was it from 1800 contacts?
No, I was going to say that.
Would be a great lead into our first sponsorship, if we ever had one.
If they wanted to be from one. And onto contacts. Just give us a little bit of that money.
All three of us wear glasses.
Okay?
I only want to rip my eyes out a little bit when I wear contacts. So you can trust your money.
I've never worn contacts in my life.
I'll start for you.
Pay enough. I'll do anything you want. I'm a whore.
Oh, boy. So what do we have going on?
Oh, boy. This week we are watching a show I know a smidgen about. A taste of smidgen. A weepit a little out of it. I've only watched the first episode of it, but we are watching Blood blockade battlefront sick. I'm going to just go out and live here and assume neither of you know anything.
No.
No. Yeah, that's bad, I'm afraid. The basis of fear. And that's about it.
I'm feeling it.
Feeling it. Mr. krabs. Like I said last week, it's a show I certainly would have watched when I was twelve, or at least going off the first episode. Yeah.
A disturbing trend of going back to our roots, what we know best. And that implies filth and garbage.
So I'm very yeah, no culture, only trash. It's my life motto. I watched one episode and then I promptly stopped. And I can't tell if it's because I didn't like it or if it's because I was like, oh, I got to save this for the podcast.
Either way, that doesn't bode well for us.
No, I'm going to give it a shot. I'm going to keep my mind open too. I'm going to already assume neither of you want anything to do with this before watching.
I don't know, the title itself is like it implies, like, military to me. And it's like, I don't want to watch something about war.
Yeah, it's about eating clean and stopping the Blood blockade.
It's a food war plus cells at Work.
It's a sequel series to Cells at Work, where they teach you how to eat healthy. It all takes place in the heart.
I think that's kind of what's dissuaded me from, like, just getting into the Guntham series. I'm just like, I'm good with war. I don't need more of that. I live in America.
I get that it's bad. I don't need to learn about it more.
But what about the character moment? They could develop their character playing baseball. I don't know. Something else. Yeah, I don't think I don't really know. I watch one episode of this. I really don't know what the fuck happened, so I can't promise anything.
This show could go so excited.
Shall we face our fears sooner rather than later and just jump in, roll over, sleeves.
We got shit to sort through.
All right, we're watching the first three episodes. Wishes luck.
Here we go.
I don't know what's going on here. I'll be real. I couldn't track this.
Remember when last week you said, man, there's a lot of characters with all, like, eight of these named characters? Like, fuck that. Oh, boy. I had to, like, highlight and bold and italize size things in my notes because, boy, howdy did I just shoot myself in the foot with this? First episode kept happening.
Feel free to just give us the info dump, which is most of this episode, at the top. So you don't need to be like, info dump one, plot info dump two. Feel free to just lay it all at our feet because they threw so much at us.
Let's see if I can remember enough to concisely. Info dump all in one go. Episode one opens with a girl sitting by a lake opening a letter. And we got one of those, like, protagonist narrating his letter, and he's like, this is what I've been up to. She looks like she's holding three letters. I guess assume that there's got to be more parts of this if this is the whole show. recapped in a letter to whatever, fuck it. Whatever. Moving on. She's reading a letter by a lake, and we're getting it cut. interstitially with scenes of the protagonist as his life is happening in the city that he is recapping for this girl. And there's a lot of people fighting, a lot of explosions, just a whole lot of bullshit. I stopped even trying to describe it at a certain point. And then protagonist reaches hand to a girl in the darkness. That doesn't really matter. vo is him telling everything that happened to him in the city. Title screen blockade Battlefront Two star wars electric boogaloo electric search for curly's Gold And, yeah, we get the protagonist chasing a little monkey through a city who has his camera. And as he's doing it, he's running by a bunch of tvs that give us the whole info, just a whole lot of, as you know, news anchor talks to your host, basically talking to gus. Me like, oh. So anyway, we are currently in New York City, except three years ago, a gate to the beyond opened, swallowed up New York City, and now it's hell. salem's Lot was built in its place, so it's effectively New York City, but it's surrounded by a thick, independent cloud of fog isolating New York City from the rest of the world. And within that little fog barricade, new York City has just become interdimensional wonderland full of just crazy monsters and all sorts of bullshit elbow. Yeah, something like that.
Yeah, they pitch it a lot nicer than it is depicted in the show. They're like, oh, yeah, we're figuring out if we can live together. It's like, okay, some, like, fish out of water stuff. And then just destruction, death, mayhem everywhere else.
Super not going well.
Yeah, and the first episode was just like, yeah, we're living. Yeah, it's New York City. And now we got some monsters. What's the big deal? And then, like, every other episode is just like, half the city is gone in one explosion. It's like, oh, okay. It's not a big city. It's not that big. You can't just wipe out that much. So, yeah, we get this whole just gigantic info dump of like, yeah, interdimensional portal opened up in New York City, and now it's isolated from the rest of the world. Get on board and get the fuck out. It's only going to get weird. And then the voiceover of the protagonist is talking about like, I'm just your average guy. I'm born and nothing happens to me. And I was about to give up. And then this happens.
Yeah, very, like, decom. Like, you're probably wondering how I got energy.
That's me.
I'm just a happy go lucky boy.
And as he's chasing the monkey, the explosion goes off and knocks him and the monkey out. And as he's getting up, he's about to catch the monkey. And then a guy in a white suit stomps him in the face, calling him zap Windfrow, saying, why are you ditching me like this? We were supposed to meet up, and you blew me off. What's your deal? And the protagonist is like, oh, no, you got the wrong guy. That's not me. But the zap winford just yells over top of him and ignores them. Cut to a girl in the diner talking to the protagonist, asking like, hey, free coffee refills are for people that order food. You got to order real food. You can't just live off coffee. Indicating he's poor. And she's like, oh, who are you, by the way? Give us that info dump now. He's like, okay, cool. I'm leonardo. Watch.
It reminds me so much of a name I would use when I was like, role playing on gaia online. Fucking sucks to me.
It was a classic sitcom move of like, what's my fake name? It's leonardo object.
It's only a ninja turtle thing hanging behind him. And he says he's an aspiring photojournalist. That's why he came to the city, because there's just a whole lot of shit happening there to get good photos of it. You see him looking through his photos, and the girl drops down a plate of food saying, like, I will get you to wash dishes later. Just eat this and shut up. He's like, okay. And then suddenly a monkey appears, steals his camera. Got you. This was a flashback to the earlier part of the episode that wasn't clear, but it is now. And the monkey steals his camera and runs off, and he goes, wait a minute. Give me that back, monkey. And he goes running after him. And some of the monster folk in the diner says, like, oh, that super speed monkey must have stolen his camera. And the waitress is like, super speed monkey? I didn't see anything. It's like, oh, yeah, it's like a weird alien monkey so humans can't see it. But she's like, wait a minute. leonardo said he said monkey. So he must have saw it somehow.
Is it something interesting? Like, is he part monster? Not really, no.
He's just a regular guy. Remember, he's going to say this about eight times every episode. Just so normal.
Then we come back to present day or present time where the explosion happened and he met zap. And the explosion that stopped him was someone that was robbing a bank. It was a big guy with weird gun hands that robbed a bank and it just exploded? Yeah, it's gross, visually. And he says he finally meets up with who he came to meet in the city. I don't really know who I'm talking about here at this point. The group. What? No. Yeah. He says he's finally here to meet up with the group he meant to come to the city to meet up with. And that group is libra. It's the group that zap is a part of.
That's my son sign.
Oh, my God. This group is just so indecisive.
I know, right? Oh, my God.
Same he gives an explanation of what libra is. It's effectively. The X Men. They're effectively a superpowered antiterrorist organization, but they got to do it secretly because.
Government no one knows a bunch of weird shit is happening in Health Bond, whatever the city's name is.
Like the rest of the Marvel universe. Everything happens in New York City. And this is just the X Men of this dimension. That's all you need to know. He goes into the office with zap and he meets the boss, klaus von Radio.
I like, this guy.
I had a feeling he's got death. He goes into the office, meets the chief, and he goes, ah, welcome, Johnny landis. And another lady there says, like, Johnny landis? Now that guy died. This thing johnny landis? What are you talking about? Like, what do you mean he died? Like, yes, he just died. And they look at a picture, and the picture of Johnny landis is leonardo, but it's upside down. And it's like what? So I guess leonardo looks exactly like this dude, but right side up, I guess.
This show sucks.
We can't make it that long. This show sucks.
Yeah, they do this shit a lot where they're just like, here's a thing that we're not going to explain even if it's just a tiny little joke like this.
Yeah, they try to go for some early Internet random humor, and it is built into plot points. So it's like, are you making a joke, or is this dead man sincerely just look like him upside down?
Yeah, because of the monsters. Like, yeah, it's fully possible that's, like, yeah, this guy's completely human, except his face is just completely inverted. That's possible. But I don't know if that can happen because we haven't seen it yet. I don't know if this is just a goof or if he just had the picture upside yeah. Anyway, leonardo apologizes for not telling him he wasn't Johnny landis, but he needed to get more information about the altar world. Which is what? The gate to the beyond is connected the world. The gate to the beyond is connecting our world, too, and it's where all the masters came from. Then they see on TV that the bank robber from earlier was arrested, and while he's in handcuffs being escorted by the police, he just mutates into a big demon thing, like a half demon thing. Literally, like, half of its body is, like, bisectic right down the center, and it explodes and cuts everything in half that's around it. It's like, oh, okay, I guess that's normal. And then the TV is pirated by finn, the King of Depravity. We don't learn anything about him for I don't fucking know this guy.
I thought they were building him up to be, like, a big bad, but no, he's like a one off villain.
So don't worry about it too much. I think he is a big bad, but there's only, like, 13 episodes, and we only see him in this first episode, so I'm surprised that they're setting him up like this, but I agree. He takes over the TV and just starts monologuing saying, like, I'm the King of Depravity. I do weird shit, lull, random xd, big spoon. So he said he was bored, and it's the citizen's fault that he's bored, so now he's going to create his own font by creating destruction and chaos. Then suddenly that the monkey that leonardo has in the office with them also spawns a big half demon thing that cuts the office building in half. And we get a long shot of the building crumbling as finn just talks over it and says, the game has begun. The game here is you have to locate and destroy the second dimensional gate while demon health spawns, attack the city, and you have to stop them before they combine and create a demon worst monster. Bear with me. So there's two demon dimensional portals that these demons are coming through them from, and every few seconds until they're going to be combining towards each other, like, trying to find each other. And every few seconds until they meet, the demons are just going to spawn again, destroy everything around them, and then disappear and just repeat until they combine. And then once they combine, they're going to become a whole demon, and it's going to be just much, much worse. So they have to find these dimensional portals somewhere in the city and stop and destroy them before the demons reconnect. I guess they all survive the building being destroyed, but the monkey runs off, and Chain goes after her. Goes after Chain is a lady. She doesn't get nearly as much time as I care for in these three episodes. I'm disappointed. klaus asked if leonardo saw the attack, and he says he does, because he doesn't have normal human eyes. He has specialized, and that's how he was able to protect himself from the destruction. And I lost myself in my notes already. leonardo says that six months ago, he was on vacation with his family, and they came to the outskirts of New York City, or, hell, salem's Lot, and they say people come and visit the fog barrier, and outside of it, they're at the Statue of Liberty right here, because apparently random miracles happen outside of it. Okay? The miracle is a weird word for this. And they came here hoping a miracle would happen because his sister is paralyzed, and they were hoping to get her legs back if they just hung out around the New York City area. magically. coincidentally, a giant demon appears right where the family is as Leonard is taking their picture and is just a giant, crazy spectacle demon. And it's like, hey, check this out. One of you has to bear witness, and the other can't. And Leonard is like, the fuck does that mean? And his sister is like, I'm game. Let's do this, bitch. Let's go all in. And we got a quick shot of zap calling him. He's like, you sacrificed your sister? Like, you're still here, so that means your sister was the sacrifice. What the fuck? He's like, no, I was paralyzed with fear and couldn't do anything because I'm a scared little bitch. But my sister was all game. She was like, hey, if one of us has to sacrifice something, I'm in. Let's see what this is about. And we don't know if his sister knew what she was doing or was just really bold, but she gives up her sight, so now she's still paralyzed and blind now. And then, while we're getting that recap, a swat team flies down on the destroyed building around the libra group and tries to arrest them for being in a destroyed building trespassing. I guess they think they destroyed them if they accident again. klaus says he knows about leo's abilities and says it could be key to resolving everything. So he offers him a spot on libra, and then the swat team get closer, and klaus says, Go on ahead and try and find that monkey. I'll take care of this. And he goes off to fight the swat guys, and Steve klaus activates his brain grid blood battle technique, which is the magical bullshit superpowers of this show. It's a mouthful. And, yeah, klaus goes and fights the swat team. While zap and leonardo run off chasing the monkey and the demons, bond fint is watching from his king of depravity palace, I guess wanting humanity to fall apart. And I think Duke had just walked away.
I wouldn't be surprised.
I don't blame that texting sam's stuff for it.
Leonardo says, but yes, I do not care.
You're right.
Leonardo says. The monkey didn't split in half like the bank robber did when the demons spawned out of him. So maybe they don't have to kill the monkey. Maybe the demon gates not inside the monkey. Maybe there's something else. And zap is like, shut the fuck up, kill the monkey. So as they're traveling around, going around on like a moped, they get through a tunnel and the demon spawn appears out of the monkey and just destroys absolutely everything within, like a mile of them, like cutting it all in half and just tearing it apart, including the diner leonardo was at earlier in the episode. And he sees like, the diner owner and the waitress that was nice to him underneath the rubble of like, we're dying. He's like, sucks.
Hold that back. Waiting.
Give me a minute. And then we see the demon spawn materializes. Instead of just flashing and destroying everything, it actually fully appears. And it's like a giant demon with like a big old sword and shit, but it's half of the body. Like it's a complete cut in the center, so it's wanting to reconnect with its other half. And zap goes in to fight it and activates his battle blood gooba GABA Hooba hiyaba. And he's like a swordy boy. He's got a blood sword. He's a samurai.
They can all do whatever they want with their powers. There's no defined characteristics. It's just blood based. That's the only thing.
Yeah, that's true.
We see some bullshit later on.
He does some real weird shit with it later that has nothing to do with being a samurai. Yeah, so he gets out of sword, he fights the demon. There is some fucking sick animation here in this fight sequence. It's real fucking neat. He like, Juliens this demon that says nowhere back. And then demon like reforms immediately. Like it's some really cool animation, and I was sad to see this is the only time we get that. Yeah, so they fight for a bit. He cuts up the demon and AMELIOR forms. And leonardo's running, puts on his protagonist goggles. He's a ditch, destined and pumping after that monkey. And when he finds the monkey, he sees with the camera strap around the monkey, the monkey is like, pinned to a piece of, like, rebar, and he's struggling to get out. And he looks and sees with his special eye, with his big old baby booze, this big, weird, crazy eyes. He sees there's actually a tick on side on top of the monkey. And the tick is the demon gate.
Move over. gojo San Say this kid did it first.
This kid sucks so much worse than gojo.
Oh, yeah.
Gojo sucks where it differs, but in a charming way. Yeah. So, yeah, leonardo sees the tick and is able to pick it off and destroy the tick without killing the monkey. And finn is, like, freaking out back at his palace. Like, no, you were supposed to kill the monkey and then see humanity fall into destruction. Just real reaching here. I think he thought that if he killed the monkey, he thought the gate would have been destroyed and he would have relaxed, and then the tick would have jumped on leonardo, and then the other half of the gate would have met up with leonardo, and then the thing would have been on it. I think that's what finn was going for.
But you're giving this show to you.
It is not going a way to tell.
Yes.
We will never know.
So finn is just freaking out, like, how the fuck did this human see this minuscule tick that I hid with my demon energy or whatever? I don't know. And he's just freaking out about that as we get the credits. And it's doing the anime thing where it's the credits over top of scenes, and the credit song playing is actually the opening song later, so still bob so the credits are playing.
The only good thing about this show.
Is and then after the crews, we see a shot of klaus and someone else playing chess or talking. I forgot. And he says that leonardo has the all seeing eyes of God.
Okay, all right.
He says that leonardo see, leonardo goes back to the ruined diner. It's still destroyed, but they're still running as much as they can. And he's like, I'm here to get that burger and wash those dishes like I promised, wink, because I'm just a.
Regular old guy with destruction just following him everywhere.
And then we see someone behind him smirks and says, I found him. And then we never see that character for three episodes.
No, it does not matter. Go to hell. This guy oh, wait, you're already there. Sorry.
Hell salem Lot. That's episode one.
I watched the first episode subbed, and it's jerusalem's Lot. And then in English they say hell. salem's Lot. Maybe they didn't want to call it jerusalem's Lot because they thought people would, like, come after them or something.
I don't know, because I watched it. dalton? Yeah, they said Hell salem.
Interesting.
Yeah, that's mine.
Let's associate that location with another place, shall we? Another imperialist country. Okay, cool. So we pick up in episode two, and we see a radio DJ introducing a song and the extremely slick explanation of boy, I've loved living in this city for a month in this garbage town. Ha ha. It's been a month of time, Skip, with about that much subtlety just revealing it's a month later.
I did not realize that. I did not catch that.
Oh, sorry, they should have made it clearer then I retract my statement.
I was overcovering from the first episode.
Yeah, so Leo gets a pizza delivery job as his day job. So just real fry energy going on. He goes into the office and oh, zap is trying to kill the boss. It's like a fun training exercise. No, he is actually trying to kill me. Ha, so random, right? Opening credits. Okay, cool. Fun little game you got going on.
All right, bump a chicken knows how to do an opening anime song though. ah, good shit.
Yeah, I liked the song a lot, but yeah. So we get an info dump on the eyes, how they can see the past and the future and just deus ex machinate eyes of oh, I can see what's wrong. Okay. I can figure out why everything is fucked up.
I can resolve the plot immediately.
Yeah, so they're like, oh, every monster and demon in the world would kill for that power. So this kid is a target, but we can use it for good. That always works. So we see Leo is delivering a pizza and sees a girl trip in the street that has the same name as his sister.
Apparently under oath.
Honestly, I don't blame you for tuning out after taking your notes.
It's a lot.
You needed to rest your brain at this point. But he goes to deliver a pizza, gets invited up into the building, and it's naked zap with a bunch of like, naked mannequins.
All right, got a call for your orchie.
Yeah, he apparently has been consistently just like robbing Leo of his pizzas and is always on the other end of the deliveries for whatever reason. wacky laney.
Hi jenks.
Well, this guy loves pizza. He's relatable even though he just cusses out everyone every 2 seconds. And they both ride back together to the base and zap info dumps on his blood power. It does what he wants. That's fine.
Okay.
But as they are driving by, the special eyes activate. And he's like, hey, zap, that's a dry cleaning truck, right? He's like, yeah, what about it? He's like, oh, it's actually a literal monster truck. So secret illusion magic is keeping this monstrous disgusting thing hidden. So as they go by, the specialized make eye contact with someone in the truck and they're like, oh fuck go.
They know, they know us.
I mess up so bad.
Okay, he knows where the demons were promised. neverland.
Yeah, so they call it into the base and be like, hey, be on the lookout for this truck. But then the monster attacks them. It's an assassin looking guy and captures Leo, but leaves zap bleeding out on the pavement. So is he going to die? No, such that too.
I wish dream.
But yeah. So we see Leo in the truck, they're kidnapping humans to eat them. But that's illegal. Hey, didn't you know eating humans is illegal because of the laws. Yeah, that's why we're doing it in secret. dipshit okay.
Actually say that that's why we're disguised.
But they're like, oh, but you are the only person in the city who could see through our illusions. So we got to figure out what's up with you. We're going to dissect you. Ha. Then he's like, oh, I need my friends to help me. Wait, no. zap thinks I'm a little girl anyways, and he tells me that three times a day. So I got to prove myself how tough I am, how I'm worthy, even though I got kidnapped on, like, my second mission. He's trying to figure stuff out, and we see. That has been rushed to the hospital, and the doctor is like, oh, we keep transfusing blood into this boy, but it's evaporating. It's disappearing. He's just drinking up all this blood.
We're wasting so much blood on this one, man.
Let's not stop to investigate. We just got to keep pouring it.
In, popping it in.
So what zap is doing because again, his blood can do whatever he wants. He's using his blood to track the truck somehow.
He grabbed Leo as he was being kidnapped and, like, smeared blood on the back of leo's jacket. And I guess that was like the.
Anchor point for his blood, his homing beacon.
Yeah, all right.
Yeah, sure. But he is literally sending, like, threads of blood out into the world. And that's why all the blood's disappearing, because he's just stringing it out across the city.
It's also invisible.
Kashir yeah, but people at the base are mobilizing. They're on the trail. So the villain guy is about to kill Leo, is like, strangling him, even though he's like, no, we're going to dissect you. Got to kill you now because you tried to escape. Leo does eye magic, and it's not clear what he did or why. I think he just sent out. At this point, they're able to find the truck, so something to locate him, but he, like, tries to hypnotize the villain or something. I I don't know.
Don't go on a limb. You're going to be real generous. I think he, like, connected all of the eyes to all of the monsters that are on the truck. So there's like five of them or something. And it was supposed to be like a visual overload. Like over stimulate them and confuse them. I think that's the best guess.
Yeah. It seems to, like, stun them, but also immediately after, they're like, oh, we found the truck. So it's like, okay, but how? zap sends a signal of which is the right thread. He ignites his blood, and then the fucking long ass looney tunes dynamite cord rushes through. And then Chain Girl finds it and follows it. And so does the boss and his League of Extraordinary gentleman car. They find the truck. It's on the bridge. They all fight. Who cares?
Why were there. Other threads. I don't know why they had to follow the thread. Like had to light the thread on fire to follow it so they know which one was the right threat. Why were they I think he sent.
A bunch out to be like, oh, one of these has to magnetize to his blood at some point. But I don't know. It doesn't matter because the fight is over and they won't surprise. So they free all the people that were going to be eaten. And Leo is severely fucked up. He's fully bandaged, facing all in a hospital bed. And the gang is all talking around him. zap is out of the room because he's also still recovering. But they're like, oh, yeah. I asked the bosses. Like, I asked zap to keep an eye on this boy, but he told me to fuck off, you'd stupid nerd. Because that's how he talks to his superior that he tries to kill daily. He's like, oh, but that's just zap. He's such a sweetie on the inside. Even though he'll tell you your ball smell to your face.
Not wrong.
But but hearing this, leo's like, oh, wait, all those pizzas. That was him wasting my fucking time. But in a weirdly, sweet, protective way. Even though he does take my pizza without paying me, getting me in trouble with work and beating the shit out of me. Usually he loves me. So then we see leo's like doing better. A couple of days later, he goes out to the park outside the hospital, finds a graveyard, and meets a ghost. ooh, spooky. Let's talk about it for two minutes. At the end of this next episode.
Leonardo also says, like, oh, a cemetery by hospital. That's weird.
I was like, no, that I'm pretty straightforward.
A lot of people die in a hospital. It's right there.
Does not bode well for the hospital if the cemetery this large.
But there are just random explosions and people exploding into blood all the time, apparently so. Yeah. Also, the ending slaps. Good shit.
Yeah.
But at that point, I'm like, who cares? I'm done. The next episode.
Let's do this time for you to check out.
Okay? Okay. You have one good thing. All right.
So we're back with Leo and the ghost. Her name is White. And he takes a picture of her. And she's like, why'd you do that? And he's like, oh, I just wanted to see if you'd show up. And she's like, I like you. And then he wakes up in his bed and he's like getting attacked by a monster because his wall is gone. And the landlord comes in and he's like, hey, I sold the building to become a hotel, so now you have to get the fuck out. And then we see Klaus is playing a game on his computer. Yeah, he's a gamer boy. Love him, gamer. And then Leonardo is sleeping on the couch and a suit man comes in and he's like, why is he sleeping here? And then like, the butler man, he's like, oh, he got kicked out of his house. And then the Suit Man is like, we should be giving him more money. And they're like, but he doesn't want it.
He's creating his own conflict. Great.
Love it. And then zap comes in and sits on leonardo's face, and he's got blood on him. And suit man's. Like, what's that about? And he's like, I got in a fight. He's like, was it a human? And he's like, yeah, he came apart like one.
I fucking killed a man in the streets.
But then they start talking about surviving decapitation. And I'm like, where did that come from? Didn't you just kill a man?
I think there's rumors of people surviving decapitated. I don't know.
I don't know. But so turns out that's what they're investigating. A drug. What a coincidence. And then they watch a video of the president, and he's all disformed, disfigured. And he falls down. There's blood all over the place. And then suit, man, delegates, investigation responsibilities. And Klaus finishes playing the game on the computer. To which I said, Klaus is my favorite part of this God forsaken show. Lucky me, because this episode is all about him.
Klaus is my favorite part because he's me not giving a shit about this episode.
I was really like, okay, yeah, there's going to be this one's about them chasing someone down to find these drugs or whatever. Not really.
Just kidding.
Surprise.
Last episode we set up, it's about a ghost. Then we immediately say, never get the ghost. And then let's play some chess.
Yeah. So the monkey is staring at zap. And it's then that zap realizes he was still sitting on leo's face. Comedy Suit Man says that everyone is dismissed. Goodbye. And then Leo says, look, we investigated, but we don't know how the drug got outside the city. And then they're just back in the same place that they were and they got to dig deeper. So Klaus goes and meets up with a lady who has an eyepatch. I just kept calling her lady because I didn't catch her name.
Here I go something again.
So they're driving together and they seem to have a good relationship. They talk about how they protect each other, whatever. And they're driving down like a spooky highway with churches floating around. And they get to their destination, which is a sideways church.
This reminds me of a sonic the headshot level, like the spooky castle.
Klaus gets out of the car and tells some guy to leave because humans shouldn't be there. And the guy brushes past him and he's like the Russian president or something.
He's a grandmaster of chess.
Okay. He's Russian. That's what I got.
They're the same person. The grand master of chess was elected president. You got it right.
It's like Queen's gambit, but a thousand times more convoluted.
So they all walk through a hallway of spooky paintings, which is probably the most well, it was the most interesting shot to me in the whole show. I was like, wow, look at all this cool art that they made. And then they get to this great hall, and one of the altar world's most powerful mob bosses is there. He has a long, stupid name, so I just kept calling him mob boss. And he knows Klaus, and he summons up a board. That's the same one. It's the same as the one that Klaus is playing on his computer. It's called cross fair. And the Russian guy is like, I admire your game and I'm ready to play. I stopped for a second because I was like, should I try to do a Russian accent? And then I forgot what Russian sounds like.
Don't worry so much.
I knew it before this show, but it's melting my brain. I was doing it flawlessly an hour ago.
Yeah, I used to be able to do a Russian accent perfectly.
I preached Gray mad with all the yuri on ice. I watch, of course.
Definitely watched that dub.
No.
Anyway, so yeah, the Russian guy is like, I'm down to clown. And Klaus is like, no, the world needs you, sir. And I guess if he loses, he dies because that's what the mob boss likes to do. He says he knows the stakes and he wants Klaus to back off because he thinks he can win. And Klaus tells him not to try to checkmate the mob boss, but he's not going to listen. And then I patch lady gets mad too.
She's still there.
Yeah. So they go into the room to play the game, and the mob boss asks for the Russian guy's desire, and he says, I want my country to have a powerful arsenal of nuclear weapons. And the mob boss is like, that'll cost you 9 hours. So they go by time, and if you can stay that long or win, then you get your wish. And the lady says, oh, Klaus, you've walked out of that room more than once. Like, why don't you think this guy can? And he's like, oh, I never won. I just withstood the game. And then the Russian guy also tells the mob boss that part of the deal. He wants Klaus and the iPatch lady dead because he doesn't want anybody to tell the outside world that he was there. And the mob boss is like, well, I know Klaus. I don't think he would tell anybody. But okay, okay, that'll extend your gameplay to 10 hours. But anyway, if you lose, you die. Let's go.
Seems fair. Fair for everyone. Great.
Great. I was worried that they were going to try to explain the rules of this one. Thank God they didn't, because why would they bother?
It's like chess. But if it was dumb, I don't.
Think they could even pretend to make up rules complicated enough to justify this bullshit willy wonka chess game.
So Klaus is saying the more skill you have, the more difficult the game is. And the longer it goes on, the more complicated it gets. And he told him not to check mate him because that just extends the game. So the strat is to just keep playing. Don't try to win. And the Russian guy starts freaking out, and he ends up losing. He gets thrown out of there, and he's all gray, and his eyes are all red and bloodshot. And as the mob boss is about to kill him, klaus stops him, and he's like, I want to play a game before you kill him. Play a game with me. And the mob boss is like, I don't usually do that, but okay. I like you. 99 hours. Here we go.
You want nuclear weapons for your country? Cool. In 9 hours, you want to know where something is 100 an hour.
You're stopping me from killing this guy. That's the most fun part. 99 hours. So Klaus yeah, he wants to know where the drug is. It's called angel scale. And the mob boss is like, why do you care so much about this shit? Humans suck. This is for me, not anybody else.
I need that drug. It sounds rad as hell.
So we see iPatch lady, she's getting.
Daddy needs the tape, saying that this.
Was always the goal. The mob boss was always after Klaus. And the Russian guy wonders why Klaus hasn't come out yet. And the lady is like, because he hasn't lost, you fucking idiot.
Because he's good.
Yeah. He's learned.
And hot.
Yeah. So the Russian guy says he is hot. The Russian guy says that he can't imagine playing that game for 99 hours. He's like, Just who is this man? Then the lady says some nice shit about him. Cool. The game goes on. The mob boss is making moves. Klaus is just hanging in there, and they're playing super powerful pieces. And the mob boss says that the Russian guy was interesting putting his life on the line. He's like, I don't understand humans. weirdos. And he asks Klaus if he regrets starting the game, and he says no, he knows what he was getting into. And there are, like, more smaller boards that are showing up because they got to have places to put all these pieces. And the mob boss is like, hey, Klaus, we're buds, so I might as well tell you. The Russian guy wanted you dead as part of his deal. So it's ironic that you're trying so hard to save his life. And Klaus is like, yeah, humans are weak, but why should I let that affect me? I'm just trying to live my life. And then he makes it out. He does the 99 hours, and he gets his wishes info about the angel scale, and the Russian guy lives.
Hooray hooray. It sure felt like 99 hours.
Like a brain hemorrhage where he just, like, spits blood on the board game table. I was like, I feel like that's always watching the show. I'm going down thinking too hard.
Mercy. If only I could control the blood in my body. If only that was my power.
So the ipad lady calls someone and gives out the locations of the drugs. And then leonardo's back, and he's like, no one knows how Klaus got the information, but anything can happen in this world. And then we see him hanging out with the ghost girl, and she's looking at all his pictures. Yes. And I'm just happy I have someone to talk to other than my brother. You must have really good eyes. Look at all these nice pictures. And it's fucking over. I hate that kid. I just want a show about Klaus being hot and sexy and playing board games.
Klaus'S, game night coming to crunchy roll.
Yeah, it was up a board game bar. Wait, isn't that just death parade? We'll get there.
I was going to say, there's already a show like that.
Boy, this was a bad time.
Are we there? Yeah.
I loved it.
Yeah.
The only threads that were connected between these episodes were the ones that were ignited in blood. I felt like they were just throwing random plot points together and just hoping it made a show. But they didn't get there because they're like, first, I will give them I was down with the concept of, oh, demon New York just took over. We don't know what happened. If it was like, okay, let's figure it out.
Figure out the background characters. Like, seeing all the little monsters. I loved that.
Yeah, just like, funny little dudes running around. That was great. I love that part. But then they're like, no, I got God eyes because I blinded my sister. I need to join an underground Men in Black organization. I got to do X Men stuff and play chess with God. It's like big old brain crab.
The crime lord is just like a giant crab, but his body was made of brains. What a concept with a character design.
Yeah. A clear example of telling, not showing in every regard. Yeah, this was bad. I didn't like this.
They threw some darts at a board and said, yeah, okay, we can try.
Are they sticky?
No, not really.
But we're going to keep going with it. Okay. Yeah, we like the demon New York. We like the little creatures. And then they started talking, and it all went downhill. But yeah, I mean, even for me, who likes overly complicated dumb bullshit, this borders on Duke of More Demons. Like, I'm on board. Even for me, this is a lot. This is a fucking lie. And like, much, I'll probably continue watching it because like I said, it's 13 episodes, and what the fuck do I have planned today? So, like, sure that's not an indication that I like it, or it is good. I watched a lot of bullshit, Brendan.
I wish better things for you. No, I kind of deserve better than this. And that's kind of a lot.
This is like myself, like flagellation. Like, this is me punishing myself.
I don't need to, though.
But, like, don't I?
Because you don't. No.
Emotionally charged. It's too real.
Brendan, I will play chess with you for 150 hours, and if I win, you don't watch the show.
I bring us Cantie collection. I bring us gamps. I bring us pretty derby. I feel like I kind of deserve this.
I believe in humanity, damn it.
I watched 140 episodes of a show I genuinely just don't give a shit about, but I stuck through it for some fucking reason. We'll get to that show someday.
Your existence baffles me.
Yo same. But here we are. Yeah, this is like I think people might like this.
I cannot confidently say.
I'm going to say no on that one. I've seen people cosplay the characters and I've seen people cover the songs, so I can't tell if they just like the character designs and music and nothing else about the show, which, if that's the case, fair. That's fair. But, yeah, this is a rough one to defend. This is a hard one to get behind.
Hey, you don't need to it's okay. Just let go.
No, this is all I have.
Well, next week, let's see if we can get a different side of demons and monsters and all that fun stuff. We're going to watch a show recommended to us by Jessica gelbart. We are watching fairy tale. We'll see.
It'll be fun.
Hey, I didn't think it I'll just say that. Yeah.
This is something I watched an episode of, so I think I'll be sorry in advance, but we'll see.
Yeah.
If there's a show you would like us to cautiously recommend, you can send those recommendations to us. Our email is rwebvariat@gmail.com or you can reach out to us on Twitter or Instagram at rweebvariat on both. You can find me on Twitter and Instagram at Mr. Patrick dugan.
You can find me on Instagram at honey. Period. D on Twitter at honey d eight and honey d art. And my twitch is honey underscore D. And honey is spelled H-U-N-N-I-E. You can.
Find me on Twitter at abts. Brendan it stands for Almost Better Than Science, which is a video game podcast I also do. Or you can find me online emotionally abusing myself. I forced me to watch this.
Live tweet. It.
Just got cut off at, like, episode four. And if I was at 13, there's going to be one tweet that says, fuck. Man.
Thank you to camille ruley for our artwork, and thank you to Louisong for our theme song stories. You can find all of louie's music at Louisong bandcamp.com. Thank you and we hope you'll join us next week as we learn to live with anime.
Goodbye.
Rain melted.