Hello and welcome to our we There Yet in Exploration and education and Anime. I'm your anime idiot, patrick dugan.
I'm an anime expert, dana hollander.
And I'm brenda mccullough, your anime seal girl in an anime seal world.
Oh, boy.
Yeah. Doing that jerk again? Because I fucking know nothing else about this.
That's fine.
Why are you watching? And ClassKey shoebo show?
What's?
The man in May?
I didn't make a podcast about watching classy Shoe bow.
And you shot down my pitch when I pitched it to you.
It's just so ugly.
So what do we have going on this week?
This week we're watching a recommendation from vince from the kame House Party podcast that I was on. And we ran the promo for a bit. When Doug and I were on that, he recommended one show called blue Submarine number six. And when I looked it up, I had vivid flashbacks from my childhood. And I just wrote it down immediately. It's like a sleeper soldier code word. And as soon as I heard it, something reacted in me. And I just like, all right, I guess we're watching this now. I know nothing about it, despite those memories.
Excellent.
Yeah.
I mean, Blue submarine number six is such an activation code. Exactly true.
Yeah. Color. You got a number in there. You got a proper noun. It's good. So I'm going to presume neither of you know anything about it.
No.
That makes sense. I remember there's like some sort of seal aquatic creature. Thus my as told by ginger reference in the top of them. Yeah. But yeah, after looking it up a bit, apparently the manga actually originally came out in 1967. So right in my wheelhouse of topical.
A little too recent for you. I'm digging into this new kid shit.
But bring me back the Charlie McCarthy dummy from the 30s. It's a real thing. It was in the then got like re released and shonen Jump in the late 90s. So 30 years later and then they turned it into an anime.
The natural Life of.
Prolongated for 70 years.
That's what One Piece is going for.
Yeah.
No gaps there though. They just want to go the distance.
I mean, oda said in theory it's wrapping up. In theory, he said it's wrapping up. But God knows what that means.
So we'll get back, just hit the halfway point. So we're winding down like kind of.
He said he's about 50% of the way through at the Carl store. It's a thousand episodes and a thousand chapters on the manga. And he's about halfway, a little over halfway.
This is his sagrata familia. It will not be done until a century after he's dead.
God. We'll get to it in episode 300 when we come back to One Piece.
When we're out of everything else, but.
One Piece is still going.
The anime industry has completely died.
We don't want to watch One Piece anymore. But frankly, there's nothing left.
It's all we've got.
That's all we got.
We're in the media desert.
We're going to find out about chopper's doctrine.
Oh, God, I love podiatrists.
Now.
There is an 80 episode arc. Didn't you see it was just him going to medical school again.
Probably my favorite.
I love these interests where we know nothing about the show. It just tangent, like wild.
I love marine biology.
Hey, that's something.
Aquarium jellyfish.
Oh, God. Let's get into this. Let's get into the submarine. Out and down the hatches.
My compatriots. Do you want to talk about this anime with me?
My short answer, not really, but we're here.
The long answer. The rest of this podcast.
Yes, I think we should talk about this anime.
It took me a second to realize what you're doing. There really are I think it's in episode two, there's really a scene where just the main guy is talking. And it was clearly, like, three different days that they recorded those three lines where I'm just like, what are these? In different studios?
These are all over the place, different times of day.
So his voice is, like sounds completely different.
I feel like I say this every time we watch bad dub, but I'm so used to modern dubs being all right for the most part. And then watching a 90s dub is just like someone recorded this in their garage and mixed it in an afternoon. It was like project deep. Yeah, a little hot.
That's why it took 30 years to make into an anime.
My notes, I can't tell I still can't tell if the main character's name is Hiyami or ayami because they say it both interchangeably at every point.
I thought it was hiyama at first, and then it changed to Hayami. And I was like, okay, I guess.
We were all in with this now.
Maybe I was wrong.
I probably was.
They probably said hiama when they introduced him because they don't care.
I had the wikipedia page open the whole time to get the names for when I was writing the notes because they kept changing. And even, like, having Hiyami up on my other monitor and then hearing someone say ayami. I'm like, Am I is this gaslighting? Am I being gas light right now? What's happening?
I'm going crazy.
I truly I wrote we're talking a little bit ahead since we don't know any plots or introduced anything to listeners, right? But I wrote down at one point another character's name as Kayami. And then I mixed it up because they were talking about the main character. They said kayami.
Oh, my God.
I think it's because I've spent too much time on the anime Twitter, where people are just vitriol about dubs and subs and just like, just any dub is bad. Guarantee. And I was like, no, no.
You don't know suffering like we do.
Like, you can have a preference, but it's not innately bad if it's dubbed into a different language. But then there's this.
This one. No?
All right, let's get into it. Episode one opens with some planes flying over ocean and we see them pass by some submarines, the titular submarine, and they pass, which isn't blue, immediately fucking up. I got problems with this color theory. So we see, like, the submarines kind of drift past destroyed cities. This one's cool, like Tokyo, and it's just, like, all blown up and submerged and post apocalyptic and shit's fucked. So see, the submarines go down, and then we see a few people in Dock area trading, getting supplies, surviving with whatever they can. And then we see a guy and a girl in, like, sailory uniforms walking around the city, exploring different buildings, talking about finding a freelance submariner, which is there a professional summer I mean, I guess that are professional submariners. The phrase freelance submariner is just very strange to me.
It's a hobby.
I converted this old refrigerator into a sub. I can pick up some nickels and golf balls from the bottom of the.
Lake if you want. Put me $20. That's kind of what I imagine. Oh, God. So they're looking for a guy, and they're exploring all these abandoned buildings, and the girl walks around the corner and bam, gun gun on her face. Turns out it's the guy she's looking for. But he ain't willing to work with anyone easy. He's troubled. He's an asshole. Yeah, he's got all his hot.
He's got that going for him.
I only do jobs for money. Oh, what an asshole. Okay.
What a piece of shit. No, she looks around and there's, like, bottles and, like, broken needles and a bunch of porno mags screwing around. So he's in his vices, and he's trying to escape from something. He's running away. And he basically just looks like the main character from outlaw Star, but without red hair. That one. That's a reference you guys get right now. It's not important. And we find out. The girl's name is miyami kino, and she asked tetsu Hiyami to come back to the Blue Fleet Six. So I guess he worked with them before and now he's freelancer. So she wants them back. They're trying to fight a guy named Zorndyke, who appears to be we see this picture on some of the magazines strewn about. So it's like times Person of the Year magazine. And it's like, Professor Zorndyke. And it's just like oh. And then the Hayami says, like, this is all his fault. Why would I want to go after him? It's like, did he go from, like, Times Person of the Year to a war criminal? What happened? Weird to see him on a magazine. But she says, like, oh, come on back. The captain is an old friend of yours, and we know you've been itching to get back into the game. He's got beer and drugs. He seems fine, and he kind of shoves her off and just like, get out of here. Leave. I want nothing to do with you. And she still says that while he's talking to her, he starts, like, monologuing. I kind of zoned out for it. He's just like, I do my own thing and why should I play this mundane game of search and destroy this? And I was like, I'm kind of just tuning out here because he has a stereo on and he's just making it louder and quieter while he's talking.
Which is about as good as the audio design gets in this show.
The whole time, I was just wildly distracted by that. So I kind of tuned out to what he was saying. So we see. What's her name? keno. keno. And the other guy, whose name we don't get till the third episode, returned to the boat without him.
I'm sorry. He gives his code name, which is Megamouse.
That's all I loseively.
Called him Megamouse because why would I call him anything else?
That's his true name. So they head back to the docking area and their ships and we cut to a sub tracking something along the ocean floor or cliffside floor, wherever. It's not the ocean, per se. And something's going after blue number six. They're not sure what, but they're tracking it while it's tracking Blue Six. And then we see little ships, creatures wasn't sure at this point come out of the big old white blob that's floating in the ocean. It just shoots out these, like, six little capsule things. So we see them. We see the Blue Six division at their dock loading up on supplies and stuff and trading with everyone that we saw earlier. And then all of a sudden, we see these six little creature things shoot out. And they ain't little. They're big old mech robot submarine things. But they're all like, rusty and kind of crab like spideresque. spideresque and who, baby, that early 2000 cgi.
This show reeks of code, Leoko.
Fuck, it does. Oh, boy. Yeah. So these big crab robots jump out of the water and start attacking everybody. And they're just playing like it's clearly like a recorded voiceover of just an old man saying, like, mankind is a plague. And, like, through my work, we will salvage the planet and rebuild life. And all this just very philosophical, mad scientist sort of dialogue. And we see. While kino is running back to the ship with Mega Mouse I forget his name.
It's mega mouse.
It is.
Forget the other name.
Christian name.
It's mega Johnson Mouse. I don't know why he made his middle name Johnson, but sure, sorry, it was disrepackful.
Keno is running back with Mr. Mouse and people are just mr.
Mouse is his father.
Calling him Mega?
I can't win. People are just running past everybody. And this is one thing I liked, where they're clearly in, like, the Blue Number Six uniform and I guess they are like the Navy. They are like the protecting force here in this ocean world now. And people running by like, hey, fucking do something about this.
Get in your fucking little boat and fight this thing that's about to kill me, idiot.
Because we've seen a lot of anime where some big, devastating things happening. And like, the main character hero is running towards it. And everyone's just like, oh, excuse me, sir. It's like, no, that's like, look at his hair. That's the main character. If I was a person in this attack right now, I'd be like, yo, fucking get on. I don't want to die. So everyone's running past them and they're trying to get back to the submarine. And then we see keno and her part. No, I just read that part. Even my notes are confusing. And then we cut to while they're running back to the submarine, it cuts to just like this collective of monsters talking. And they're saying how, like, Blue Six is leaving. We're going to chase after it. There's just a real close shot of a parrot. And then it cuts back to the Blue Six with the captain. No. What did I miss?
Okay, I couldn't tell you.
Honestly.
This is some real mumble core ass shit. So the narrative is we don't get what the objective of this whole war is fighting towards until mid episode two. So this is about as coherent as the movie itself.
I apologize for my notes and for this show. So there was the big battle. I skip over the stuff that's all visual because we don't want to talk about that. So my notes get very confusing very fast.
It's also not very interesting to look at because it looks like late ps One. Early ps. Two cutscenes.
Yeah.
Really hard to keep track of what's going on visually.
They attack the city, the submarine leaves.
I guess it came out in like, late 90s.
This was 98.
So they could have been made on a ps One for all we know. Yeah. So the robots aren't attacking. Everyone loads up on the submarine that can they go under. They have some sort of some sort of an ocean battle. And as Blue and Six is escaping, we see another submarine that was tracking the enemies follow behind and being like, we got this, Blue. Get on out of here. They're like, thanks, pal. So the Blue Six just isn't able to escape while the other guys handle it to clean up. And then on Blue Six, we see the captain greeting Hayami. And they're saying, like, Hayami says the phantom ship is coming. So ooh, ghost pirates. And then they get into their ships and fight the phantom ship, I think. Yeah. God, I really fucking got to take better nuts.
Yeah, the phantom ship is the monster ship with the parrot and the shark thing.
Yeah. When we cut away and saw the monsters talking, it they're on this ship, we find out and they're chasing after blue submarine number six. And we see they're getting ready to go into a battle again kind of now in the ocean and further away from the city. And Hayami takes the lead. He's like, I'll handle this. I'll take the front. And keno's just like, oh, shit. Okay, and hops in the back. So we got the copilot pilot situation. And then we see keno says she fights for her city because it's underwater now. So she's got a vendetta against the monsters, which makes sense if they destroyed the city. So we see them fighting another fight sequence with the robot ships. And right as hai ami finishes them off we see one of them, like, shoots out of the water and crashes on land after it destroys it. So they surface as well. And Hayami gets out, and he goes over to the ship, and we see a cork kind of, like, unscrew from the ship and just this big old ballevooz slimes out. And as we see the slime falling off of the creature, we see it's this yellow and gray sort of water girl that has, like, penguin markings on her and reminds me of a seal for some reason. Yeah.
So, what are the fish people in zelda called? Because that's the vibe.
Zora.
Zora. Yeah.
Very zora ask.
Unless it's in Wind waker and then they turn in the bird people for some fucking reason. That's the zelda podcast. We'll get to that one later. So he sees this, like, sealed girl kind of come out and she's, like, writhing around, struggling. Looks like she's having trouble breathing, which makes sense if they're a water person on land. And keno takes the gun out, and she's like, all right, let's finish this one off and get on back to that bat on Hiami who's the rugged, tough guy? Lone wolf, doesn't care about anyone. He's like, no, let me save my girlfriend.
I've known her for literally 0.2 seconds, and I would do anything for her.
She is entirely different.
Titties, I have to I can see them. I can't see her, but I'm I'm on her side.
Yeah, it's like a seal creature, but then she's just got, like, weird small pink wings on her chest that just barely cover the nipples for 30% of the series. So she's, like, riding around, trying to catch her breath. And he scoops her up and starts taking her to the ocean. And while he does, he latches into him and bites him. But once he's able to get her back to the water, she kind of, like, chills out, stabilizes, and just screams this weird super big move. Yeah. Just lets out this weird, like, really high pitched scream and just kind of swims off. And then we see the sky rumbling and it's kind of glowing and keena is like it begins. I was like, what?
What begins?
Are we fighting the ocean?
Not the beginning. Already had it not already started.
This is the beginning. I want to get off this ride. It's not getting better. And then we see the weird white blob thing that was in the ocean start fighting the blue six again. Like not sending out drones anymore. It's fighting in itself. And when they shoot, we find out. In other episodes, the blue six shoots like an enzyme missile into the blob that gets rid of the weird organic barrier around it. So the blob is just like a shield around the weird aquatic mutant ships, and behind it is this crazy mutant whale looking thing called musicas. And so they start fighting that because fuck the whales. And we see the whale this is one of my favorite parts. We see the whale do a back flip to dodge the missiles.
Hell yeah.
God it. Fuck.
I can't even express how bullshit this is. The nimble feature does a backflip. It's the size of the skyscrapers around it. And then it's like, super nimble fuck.
Your torpedoes will barrel roll. But as it's doing a backflip, it gets hit by another sub. Oh, this is probably where it got confused by notes. This is the other sub that was helping them before. And while they're taking care of the whale, this gives blue six more time to escape again. So it looks like they won as kino waves to the guys that saved them, like, oh, thanks. A lot of pals. I guess they surfaced. So they're all helping each other out. And then she asked Hayami why he let the enemy go. You know, they're the enemy. They're one of Zorndyke's creatures. He got to kill him. Murder. And he asked her what's begun, and, you know, looking back up to the sky with, like, the weird haze going on, and she says, the destruction of every last one of us. Thank you, keno. That does not help.
Clarity is key in war.
Just assume I've been in a drugged out coma for the last ten years.
Because give me a bridge.
The roaming a fucking bone here, kino. And then we cut to the monsters all cheering. And the leader's, like, shark looking creature says, like, well done, blue six. But now they'll be careless and hit some sort of button. And I don't know who will get this, but the leader sounds exactly like King from Al house. And I can't take the show serious. Not that I could before, but this definitely broke this character for me because it sounds exactly like them. And yeah, that's episode one.
Okay, this is probably going to be really bad. I don't know what happened. So here we go.
No, my performance after yours will be similar because I don't know what fucking happened.
Yeah, like the first episode, you could, like, tell what was happening. You could follow it a little bit. Like a little bit. These ones just completely lost me.
Yeah, because they're like, okay, let's introduce the overarching narrative in episode two, and it's like, maybe lead off with that. So we know what the fuck you're trying to say, because right now it's nothing.
Yeah, but so we see a dog and it's barking, going crazy, so it knows something's up, it knows something's gone wrong, and we pick up right where we left off. And I guess it's the blue is it the blue submarine number six?
Yes.
They're being attacked by more torpedoes from the thing from the phantom ship. I put the big mech thing, the one with all the furries on.
I also love real quick, anytime they cut to the phantom ship and show all the monsters, just the monstrous sound.
Effects, the monkeys, the fucking chimpanzee noise.
That is a nickelodeon show.
Animals that would live in a world wholly consumed by water. Why would there be monkeys? Why would there be chimps?
I pray to God someone has some sort of copyright or trademark on that chimp noise, because they got to be.
Making bank from this one alone where it's used 40 times. Anytime they just show the enemy.
It always got me.
So the General man receives a call, and they're like, hey, this isn't your turf. You guys should get out of here to safety. And then they just scoot on out of there. He's like, all right. And then they leave. And then that ship that stays fires on the enemies, but it doesn't work out, and then the ship goes down.
Yeah, this guy's ship, I saw this kind of like, get out of here while you can. We'll hold them off and they sacrifice themselves.
Yeah.
Who gives a shit? yep. No one will mourn for this captain. We've known for 10 seconds.
I don't even know if we got his name.
No, probably not.
We didn't get the main character's name.
Yeah, I don't even know the name of this general man on the blue summary. Number six.
Captain.
Yeah, sure. So we see a bunch of those Seal girls, and they're all birthed from those neck things, and they all kind of help each other, like they all live in a hole, and they're, like, midwives for each other.
I think. They're like, salvaging the bodies from the destroyed ships.
So I think this is that's where they live.
Because if we say something wrong, that's our interpretation. They didn't give us say otherwise.
That's fair.
Yeah. So the one we saw, she has red markings. All of the other ones have blue. That's how you can tell the difference.
She's got special eyes.
Yeah. She pulls one out, and I think it's dead. And then she has a little freak out, and she remembers Hiyami helping her out of the thing. And then hold on. They're going back to the base. This number six is going back to the base, I think.
The Blue dome.
Yeah. And then Hayami sees the captain man in the hallway, and he gives him attitude for not staying to help the other ship, and then he just loiters in the kitchen until kino comes to tell him to actually help around here because the ship is in ruins, so we should help clean it up. And then we see a guy who has a mustache, and he gets news that Tokyo has gone down, and I think that's the only time we see him. And he looks at a picture of his family.
Wait, is that not the captain? I thought that was the Cap.
No, I think that's someone else. He had glasses. He looked like fuck. He looks like a character from Full Metal alchemist.
Okay.
The guy with the mustache.
King Bradley.
Yeah, that guy. Okay. I said I think Tokyo was destroyed. I don't care enough to go back. It doesn't matter.
It's in the past now. Moving on.
It was ruins before in its pristine condition. It was ruins.
Yeah. So Hayami and kino are repairing, like, the little ship that they were using before, and she says that they can't let anything happen to the submarine. It's very important that this submarine turns out okay for whatever reason.
Don't say that about a show when there's about 80 submarines you could be talking about.
It's the titular blue submarine number six.
Not, though.
They're talking about a different submarine.
They are.
I thought they were talking about blue summary.
We'll get to it in the next one, but it doesn't matter at this point.
What about the yellow one? Where are the beatles?
Yeah, the English stuff.
Pretty fucked up world living in. So then we see big hybrid shark person talking to daddy. They all call Zorndyke they all call Zorndyke papa? Yeah, and I thought this was a woman because of the voice, but who fucking knows? Gender is a construct anyway. And this is a hybrid animal person. But so they're like, oh, daddy, you should be so proud of me because I've done so well. And then Zorndyke is like, be careful. And then a shark hybrid person is like, I want to destroy all the humans. And then Zorndyke is like, what? I haven't told you to come home. And then they throw a tantrum, and they're, like, surrounded by the seal girls. And as they throw the tantrum, all of the seal girls leave, except for our seal girl. And then they go over to the seal girl, and they're like, you were touched by a human, and they're hurt ear and stuff. It's weird.
It was too horny. It was too horny.
It was really horny.
And then summary number six comes into dock at a big underwater military base, and Hayami is like, whoa, it's huge. And then the captain man is like, you saw the blueprints of it. Okay. And there are ships all over the world at this base, so the yellow submarine from the British folks must be there.
It's in the background. If you get a screenshot. You can find it. It's a fun little.
Cuts.
The blue meanie is walking around in the background in one shot. Don't tell anyone.
You know who runs that one? Sergeant Pepper.
There it is.
That was a good joke. So then we see a bald man give an info dump to some military personnel, and he talks about how Zorndyke shifted the world's magnetic poles, and it's fucking shit up, and the world is doomed. That's all he says. But he says it's so long.
He just draws out that one sentence for a real long time.
Yeah, he could just say, shit's fucked.
But, guys, this is fucked.
Yeah.
Real quick. Sorry. In this meeting and in, like, other scenes, we see them smoking constantly, which I feel like is a terrible idea if you're under all water with a limited air supply.
That's a good point.
Yeah. We're pumping pure oxygen in here. Maybe don't light up.
Wait, stop. So they talk about the plan to attack antarctica, because that's where Zorndyke is, like, stationed. I guess that's where his stuff is coming from.
That's where his magmonic pole reversal machine is.
And failure isn't an option, because if they do fail, human life is doomed. And then the Atlantic admiral, she's put in the Zoom call, and she's, like, confident about the atlantic's abilities. And then Zorndyke takes over the feed. None.
He got the password.
Shit.
It was one password.
One. And then he asks her if she's religious, and she was like, I was until you messed everything up. Now I need to not have faith, I guess. And then he talks about how much humanity sucks and that mankind would be destroyed at some point anyway. So he's just accelerating the process. What's so wrong with that? And then the feed goes to static, and the whole room, all of the people in the room, are like, hey.
We want to keep talking to the villain. He had some interesting points.
Maybe we should let the world be consumed by water.
He's so charismatic. He swayed me.
I do love, though. He's, like, the big bad guy. He's just, like some someone's drunk uncle on vacation in the Caribbean, and, like, a Johnny bahamas shirt and, like, a straw hat. He's chilling. He's fine.
Yeah, so we see some folks on the dock doing some stuff, including Mr. Megamaus, and they ask him about hiami. They're like, oh, what's his story? And he's just like, I know his story. And then we don't hear any of it.
It's an interesting one. Too bad I'll never tell.
He truly did not know, but he's.
Like, I want to seem like I'm yeah, I supernow.
Oh, yeah. We go way back. It's a secret, though.
I can't tell you.
Is that where he gets the name wrong? Yeah, I know kayame. Oh, maybe funny pretending to know him.
That's too smart for this. So then we see, like, some guys getting a ship ready. And then there's a little girl in a ship. I don't know what she's doing at all. And then she, like, hears, I guess. She hears the cael girls are like sirens, and they sing. So she hears them singing, and she gets really upset about it.
Yeah, she's just a human sonar machine that shows up in two scenes and plays no other factor.
Yeah.
So because I have the wikipedia page open, I'm looking at it. It's like, main character, hayami, basically, he's the protagonist, and he helps the blue fleet that's it. kino 18 year old girl that recruits hayami. This ten year old girl has, like, a paragraph of description of what she is and what she does. It's like, who what?
People don't know the text, so they have to put in the wiki.
Maybe it's in the manga. And the anime just did a really bad job.
Real bad job.
That's what I'm thinking.
I guess she's important.
Yeah, but so hami and kino are walking down a hallway, and hayami is upset that the plan is to destroy other people. Does that make us any better than Zorndike? And it's like, yeah, dude, he wants to destroy the entire planet. He's evil. Like, yeah, brah, he wants to destroy the planet. And then some ads, some guys walk by with what looks like a warhead, and he's like, A warhead? Fucking stupid soldiers. And then one of them gets mad at him, and he's like, you're selfish haiami. He's not referring to something that is in the warhead looking thing. And hayami rushes over to it and pulls back the blanket on top of it. And we get a glimpse of this nasty hybrid fish guy. And boy, what I wouldn't give to see more of this.
I got some good news.
This is interesting.
There's a movie called The Shape of Water.
Oh, yes.
I was waiting. I was like, when is the Shape of Water reference coming in?
When do I get to see this man's ass?
I got a sweet boy named abe sapien waiting for you in a series called hellboy.
Both Sea Creatures, played by Doug Jones. This fish hybrid man, he's the only person to have made it back from Zorndyke's lab alive. Cool. And they say that guy tells hayami, he's like, it's your fault that this happened to him. His name is katsuma. Whatever. And then we see that little girl, the special little girl with her special ears. She's, like, wandering down this hallway and crying. And Keno is like, what's wrong? And she's like, I heard singing. And quinoa is like, oh, like the dolphins? And she's like, no dolphin song is yellow. This was black. And I'm like, she got synesthesia. She got synesthesia. That's fun and cool. Why are you telling us interesting things about interesting people and then giving us this garbage about hayami and keto? And then there's explosions. They're under attack, and the big phantom ship rolls up they want to destroy the base. Action. ensues attempts to fight back and whatever. They're trying to open the gates, but the doctor man is like, don't open the gates. Just evacuate. I'm going to be here. I don't care. I'm sacrificing myself for some reason. But hayami takes a ship and tries to go out and hold them off. And this is the part that I think dugan is talking about with the Dub where Keno is yelling at him to come back. But she's just like, you're so fucking stupid. Oh, my God. Don't go back. You're going to die.
She flips, like, six times. She's like, you can't just fucking take ourselves. We're trying to fight you, asshole. You fucking dip shit.
Please come back. I love you.
The emotional changes in those two sentences go from, like, eight different places, and it hurts.
Yeah, so she's mad. And then he's fighting, and he remembers the fish girl, and he's just like, oh, is she here now fighting me? And then he keeps attacking the bases, falling, zorndyke. zooms in to the bald man again, skypes in. And he's like, hey, this was all inevitable, my friend. They apparently know each other. Will we get backstory on that? Probably not. And he's like, oh, this is all inevitable. Just accept defeat. Give up. And then the big phantom ship sends big missile to the base. Big boom, explosion. And then hami is alone. I don't know what happened. He's like, alone in his ship. And then he sees something sinking down, and he looks horrified. And then he uses the escape. Escape, whatever. And he's like, on a thing, floating in the ocean, and he sees the fish girl. And that's it. That's what happened.
I feel like with the little girl wandering around crying. If I saw someone crying and I lived in that world, I'd be like, yeah, I get that. I wouldn't even be like, I do. Yeah. What's wrong? I mean, every kid all, I live.
On a submarine at the bottom of the ocean because the Earth is destroyed. Why do you think I'm crying?
I'm ten years old and I'm used in the military. How are you, keto?
What's going on?
What are your hobbies, dip shit?
You got boy troubles? Smoking a cigarette with a glass of whiskey. Like, fuck it. We're all turning anyway.
I'm not going to make it past ten years old.
My lungs won't feel this when I'm dead in a week. Okay, let's cap this off.
Let's wrap it up.
My favorite episode, so hayami is I need to pause here and write down the character's names because they are written so many fucking different ways in my notes. I just need a consistent hami. And what's a girl. She shows up once in this episode.
Keno oh, kino. Yeah.
All right, perfect. Cool. Okay, so good to go. We see hayami adrift in the water and just the shittiest voiceover.
We cut.
In between him drifting in the water, and you can hear the ocean. And then when this voiceover comes in, it just cuts to silence because they couldn't fucking layer over the voiceover over the ocean. So it's just, I didn't do it. It wasn't me. It's just fucking so bad. Okay, so talking about, like, oh, I didn't do it. He's adrift at sea, and we get flashbacks to him joining the Navy, and it's him and his buddy fucking what's his name? Who cares? Being like, oh, yeah, we're join the Navy. We're going to fight back. Did you check out this photo of antarctica? There's, like, palm trees and stuff there. We got to go check that out. And they go to antarctica to scout ahead. They see the phantom ship. They crash. The partner dies, and hayami ejects and lives with guilt. So that's where we're at. As he's about to drown in the ocean, the Fish Girl swims up and saves her, and he wakes up on a piece of wreckage from the Blue base. Yeah, cool. So he's like, oh, great. I keep ending up having to be saved in the ocean.
Moody.
I'm so emo twice, but okay. But the Fish Girl is there, and she brought a fish for him to eat, and he's like, oh, I saved you, so you saved me. I'm going to eat your friend the fish here. That's just a fun little joke because you don't speak English. That's just for me.
That one's for me.
So, yeah, he's just rambling about, oh, why did zordon dyke do this? blah, blah, blah. And he's just, like, camped out the Fish girls just watching him, just a lot of meandering I like that he.
Was cooking the fish, and he had, like, a pot going over a little stove, and I was like, Where did you get a pot?
You're stranded in the ocean wreckage. It happened to be floating next to this giant hunk of metal that is floating now. But yeah. So, of course, naturally, an army of the fish people like, the girls show up, and they're mad.
My hair and anime is starting.
Oh, no.
I wish that's what this was.
What if it just took a hard turn into hentai right here in episode three?
I expected it.
I count it all.
So we're back on Blue submarine number six. They're like, repairs are made. We we escape the attack. Most most of the subs that are going on this mission to destroy the base at the Arctic survived. So we got to just keep chugging along, and we see. Keno is sad that yami is presumably dead, and Megamauuse is like, oh, fuck. That dude sucks. Sure, cool. Great scene. A lot of context. Okay, he's right. We see as they head towards the base, the mutant guy in the tube is mad and cool. All right, I'm bouncing because we just get quick flashes to scenes that are like, here's something, and it provides no additional info. And it's like, cool. Great.
Thanks for that.
So they drive the Sub, they go on a little road trip to a sunken nuclear submarine, and they're like, okay, so this is our payload for the mission. This thing was scuttled however many years ago, but it's still loaded up with nukes. So we're going to just steal this and we're going to drive it over there and blow up the thing. So I think this is the submarine there saying, oh, we have to keep safe in the previous episode because it's truly their last. If they lose these nukes, they can't destroy anything. But yeah, so it doesn't matter. I don't know why I felt the need to elaborate.
I've already forgotten.
So hayami is about to be killed by all these fish people, and a big whale friend shows up. It's one of the whale things that they fought in the first episode, but it can talk and it's friendly. It's like, I am the sage wisdom of this show. You saved a fish girl, so you are the only hope for humanity.
You chill. That's, like, the only note I have for this episode of, like, mysterious telepathic whales. Where would we be without you in our stories to progress?
The plot delicious. I love a good trope. Is that on the bingo card anywhere, Brendan?
It should be. I've seen it at least in five other anime.
But yeah. So he's, like, pop up into one of the holes in my head and I'll give you a ride. Fucking triple nightmare. But as they go through, he's like, so, yes, I've give you my back story. We were given sentience and we're told to destroy. But we thought about it for, like, a minute, and we're like, Why? So then we stopped. Cool.
It's like making a robot that can feel things. Like, why the hell would you do that? What a terrible idea.
But he's like, okay. So we were bred for war, and we were giving sentience by Zorndyke. And then we just one day went, Wait a minute.
Hey, hold on.
Hey.
I think he was saying the early prototypes like him gained consciousness, but the later ones, they bred it out of them. Like, how early PS threes had backwards compatibility and then all the rest ones didn't. He's an early PS three.
Perfect. Thank you. Now I understand the show.
There you go.
The first dilemma. I got it just from that cool. Okay. But, yeah, we see street shark in the Phantom Ship, and he's like, the fish people saved a human. Those traders. We also have nukes now, I guess. Time to destroy the humans with them because they're their own creation. ironic, huh? Sure. So we see blue sub number six trying to it's at antarctica. It's going through ice caves, making its way making its way downtown.
Space is passing its homebound.
Yeah. And they're like, oh, an enemy whale is coming. Up on us. We got to get ready to attack. Sorry.
I fell asleep toward the end of this one.
I can't help you. I know what happens. But in the whale fuck. This is so insane. Trying to parse out. Okay, so in the whale's back story, we learned that basically they figure out Zorndyke, right? No, fuck me. No, this comes later.
Fuck. Okay, tell in any order.
It doesn't matter.
Okay, so basically they figure out, oh, Zorndyke doesn't really want us to destroy humanity. He wants us to see, oh, there's a sentient race of things. Maybe we should learn to not try to kill them even though this dude fucking bred them to kill us. Okay. So it truly becomes the prisoner's dilemma of, okay, everyone wants to kill each other, but the answer is you just don't kill each other, and then you'll be fine. The sub sees the whale coming that has hamis trying to return them. And they're like, all right, let's fucking murder this thing. And they fire missiles. We see explosions above the water, and then just a very dying whale this spraying out. Let's pause our episode. You need to go see the scene because it truly doesn't make sense. They fire torpedoes. We get like, two very small silent explosions on the surface. Just like, cool. And then just a fucking massacred whale of just they didn't want to animate this thing getting blown up. So they're like, okay, let's cut some corners and here, have some gore. It's like, okay, great. Cool. Now we're in a corpse of a dying whale thing.
God.
I mean, hey, I wouldn't want to animate this either. I'd be fine.
I don't blame them. But just the way this cinema came together, just dogged them up, because that's.
What it is, cinema.
I truly get the sense that they're like, hey, we should make this a movie, right? Oh, no, this thing sucks. chop it up. We need to give people breaks it. But the whale is like, return to your people. I'm dead now and dies.
Take her to the moon for me.
So hami goes back on the ship. aquino takes a minisub out to get some. We completely glossed over that their mini ships are called Grandpaces.
Absolutely forgot about that show.
Solid comedy gold. Like, that was ignored until minute 15 because we can't fucking make it out. What's happening here?
But.
Hiyami gets back on the ship. He's like, stop the attack. We have to talk to Zorndyke. If we just talk to him and be like, ha, we figured out your riddle. The war will stop. And the captain's like, interesting. Fuck you. I have a nuclear sub. We're going to ram this thing into the magnetic pole of the Earth, and that's how we're going to save humanity. And Phantom Ship is like, all right, let's fucking kill some dudes. And that's where we end. And I refuse to learn how this series ends. I was originally planning, I was like, oh, one more episode. We can watch this. The last episode is 40 minutes, and the hour and a half leading up to it made no sense. So I was like, no, fuck you. I'm not giving you that closure.
I mean, if we want to just go right into it, I watched episode four because why not?
I do want to know how it resolved.
I need to hear it. I refuse to watch it. Please bring it home for us quickly.
You know, and hayami, go to antarctica and find out. It's like the savage land in X Men. It's like a tropical paradise because of things.
Okay, great.
I think Zorndyke created a machine that dug down into the earth's core, and that's where the heat is coming from to make plant life. There's a machine going down into the earth's core, and at the core of that machine is Zorndyke's heart, because he opens up his shirt and there's just a big black hole where his heart is with all these machines going into it. So his plan was to reverse the poles on the planet. He didn't do it yet, but that was his plan and that's why they're trying to stop him. Turns out it was a bluff because he doesn't have enough energy to actually do it, but he was going to trick the world governments into using the nuclear warheads to trigger the reaction. So if they blew it up, they would have caused his plan to initiate and ended up killing themselves. And then he just has a bunch of other creatures on this tropical paradise, land that are land based. They're not water creatures, but they can also breathe in the water. And then he brings hayami and kino to this tree where it has three women growing out of it. So there's just tits on this tree and he doesn't acknowledge it. The tree has never spoken about, but it's clearly important.
This is my breast tree.
This is where we get the milk.
This is my best breast tree.
The harvest is plentiful this year.
The melons are growing nicely this time of year.
And it's one of the hard lines of keno has the gun at Zorndyke being like, I'm going to kill him. And Zorndy's like, you just have to learn to live together with these new creatures. And Keno is like, no, they started this shit by attacking us. Fuck them. And Zorddik doesn't dispute that. He doesn't argue with that. So I don't know if that's true or not, or if she has a point, because if she does, that's a valid point.
Does he make all of them, though? Like it is his fault?
So that's what I mean. I don't know if that's what started it or if they're just like a monsters and the human started attacking, but we don't know that because that was in the past and irrelevant. And yeah, they don't sit off the subs. He kills Zorandike, and then the Shark Boy comes back and starts getting mad. And then they start fighting a bit, but then start bonding a bit. And then Shark Boy scoops up one of the tears from Keno and he licks it. He's like, it's just saltwater. And then he slaps her. It seemed like there was a bonding moment of, like, he was understanding her through the tear, like that cliche, and he just backhands her for it. I'm like what? At what? And then he rips off his collar, which I think is his voice modulator, and then just goes back into the water where Miuto, the sealgirl, like, takes them and, like, goes back into the water and she says hiyama before she goes into the water. And that's it?
That's it.
So, like, the warheads didn't go off and the poles didn't reverse.
Here's what happened. They tried so much and they had a couple of interesting concepts and then they just didn't follow through on any of the things.
Yeah, this is just a tangle of loose threads.
I will say it was one of the few showdowns I saw with the main character and the evil scientist, where they're going back and forth about philosophy, where it really feels like Zord's whole spiel was, like, unraveled. And did at the end of it, he's just like, yeah, I'm crazy. It's like, you seem like you had good intentions for Minute there, but by the end of that conversation, it seems like you just embraced the full mad scientist thing. So I don't hate the series. I don't hate this, like, ova, those mini series for a lot of stuff. Not a lot of it's. The story I like the jazz at the end of it, the jazz song and the credits that's really out of place and weird, but it wasn't bad. But, yeah, the stories really tried something.
And it didn't accomplish any of it.
Yeah, it took a big fucking swing, like you said.
I don't know if there's a lot in the manga that they just had to condense or just left out or it's just not in the manga either, or what. But, yeah, they fucking swung for the fences. And I really feel like the series would be, like, an inspiration for a child. Like, if a child sees it on tunami in 2001 and their mind is blown and they become an animator to themselves and start drawing stuff, and then they see it when they're 30 and they're like, oh, no, dang it.
My hero, my inspiration.
I mean, it's certainly not the worst thing we've watched, but because it's so condensed, we get all the madness of a 20 episode series and four episodes.
I'm sorry. I just googled it. This anime is the inspiration for Deep Blue Sea. whoa. Crazy.
Is it? Okay, see, I don't that's not out of the role of possibilities at this point, because when I looked it up on the wikipedia page. There's, like, reviews for, like, the manga is terrible, but then there's a bunch of awards and stuff saying the anime is one of the 70th best anime of all time. I'm like, who's reviewing this? Who's one of these people?
Like, I this is the first time I mentioned it, like, a couple episodes ago that I wish I watched the dub on something. This is the first show I had to pause and switch to the sub for episode one because it was truly incomprehensible. Some of the dialogue is mixed so poorly, you just can't understand them. A lot of what the monster people were saying, they're so modulated and trying to be edgy and cool. You can't hear what they're saying, so you need subtitles. But I got through episode one and then I was like, I need to just tune out because I need to be in English because I can't. The king shark thing, it has rings on his finger that say, fucking dub.
Dublife.
I don't know. I don't know what to say.
His name is verb.
This was weird and bad.
Did we ever find out why the shark's name is berg? No, but apparently his name is berg.
I just learned his name is berg. They don't fucking say it.
Yeah. This is clearly an ambitious project. That certainly tried, I'll say that. I guess we weren't there.
No, this one wasn't very good.
Fair enough. Thanks for the recommendation, vince. I pray you don't listen like this. I don't know if you recommend it.
If you do, I'm so sorry.
Whoops, like, going back? I kind of hope this is a oh, I watched this forever go, and I thought it was great, but if I go back now, not so good. But I don't know. With this being ranked, like, the 70th best anime, whatever the fuck they gave it, like, I get panning and stalking things of like, what? Yeah, this is so not for me. This is so designed for someone else. This is someone else's perfect show. This is a lot of people's perfect show if it has accolades and stuff, but it's just such a dog shit show.
Most of the accolades I've seen were praising, like, the animation, the cgi is rough. That's definitely dated. But the animation and the music, I can't say, like, the voiceover, the quality. This one is rough, but I guess the set pieces, I don't know. They're praising stuff that definitely wasn't the story or the quality of the dub.
Yeah. I assume no one has any. Maybe they have, like, nostalgic love for the dub, but this is just objectively bad. So even separating it from the dub, I watched the first episode, mostly subtitled, and it still didn't make sense. It was still bad.
I feel like this is just Fish version. neogenesis evangelical. We tried to go something huge, but we only had four episodes to do it. And the friend that gets captured and then comes back as a fish man, he helps escort hayami aquino to the antarctic and so and, like, that's the only thing he does. He, like, waves to them in the ocean and swims off.
Goodbye.
See you.
Thank you.
So they're definitely setting him up for way more than he needed to. Yeah. Like I said, I've seen much worse, but I've seen much better, too. Yeah.
Well, we made it through. Here we are.
Here we are. What we got going on next week?
I'm surprised it took us this long to get here. This was the first anime I saw that I was definitely too young to see. This is definitely something that was on tunami when I was, like, six and I would see it at Friends sleepovers. I was like, this isn't quite for kids. I don't know. It's a cartoon I don't fully understand. I'm six, but correlating. Yeah. We're going to watch the first three episodes of bobo.
Not where I thought you were going with you were too young for this anime. Okay.
I haven't seen it since I was about six, so we'll see how I meet it in a week.
Yes.
From what I remember, it felt like rave Master plus jojo, so it's going to be a fun episode.
A happy medium.
I'm excited. If there's a show you would like us to watch, you can send your recommendations to us are we there yet@gmail.com? Or reach out to us on Twitter and Instagram are we there yet? On both. You can find me on Twitter and Instagram at Mr. Patrick dugan.
You can find me on Instagram at queen. Period. weibo. And on Twitter at Queen underscore weebu and Queen underscore weebu art.
You can find me on Twitter at a bts. Brendan it stands for Almost Better Than silos, which is a video game podcast I do. We've had Doug on before. We've had Vincent Aaron on before. And sometimes I stream on twitch.
Thank you to camille ruley for her artwork. And thank you to Louis zong for our theme song stories. You can find all of Louis music at louisian bandcamp.com. Thank you, and we hope you'll join us next week as we learn to live with anime.
I actually can't live with this.
Yes.
I don't want to live with this one.
And humanity now.