There's a sale approaching. Go to Shrimp Envy.com. Look across their entire website of shrimp food, shrimp themselves, shrimp accessories, shrimp life. Find what you're going to want to purchase. And then between the dates of November 18 and November 28, we have finagled a code so great it can only be done once a year. For Black Friday, use code. Thanks, guys. All one word. Thanks, guys. For 25% off the entire site. Don't miss out. Go to shrimpnv.com. You will find incredible deals for the time period of November 18 through November 28. Stock up. Make people envious. Go to Shrimp Envy.com. And remember, it does support the podcast. Thank you. Also, I'm going to be trying to do shout out to the beginning of the episode. I'd like to shout out corals and more in St. peter's, Missouri. Go check it out. I've got pictures from fans. Apparently they have quite the fun and popular scene there. So shout out to Corals and more. Go support your local tropical fish store and let's kick that podcast.
Welcome to the aquarium, guys. Podcast.
Jimmy they have adult Happy Meals that.
Are so twisted and weird and wild. I bet you've gotten two or three already.
My wife made me go immediately.
Oh, your wife made you go? She held a gun. She goes, hey, Robbie, happy Meals. Happy Meals are on sale. And you went, Dorislam, no.
She's basically like, want sex? I'm like, yes, Happy Meal. Like, kinky.
If that's all she charges is a Happy Meal, I'll bring a Happy Meal over here when you're not home. Frank she's cheap. Well, anyways, my wife wants to take dinner.
I am your host, Rob Zulson.
I'm Jim colby.
And today we are joined by Derek schumann of dees Fish Co. In Detroit Lakes, Minnesota. Hi, friend.
Hello.
Schumann these are the toys my wife I brought home. Apparently, you have two options. It's a ten piece chicken nugget or a Big Mac. That's the main thing. And then, of course, you get fries, a drink and a toy all in a box. Well, the toy for the adult Happy Meal, it's literally down syndrome. grimace they lost me there. But I'm still okay with having any type of toy.
They look like they grew up under the power lines.
I agree totally, 100%.
There you go.
It's kind of like grimace ran the microwave with the door open way too many times.
Oh, yeah.
Maybe that's what it was. They were just trying to show, like, a vintage microwave feel.
So my question is, what is the cost of this? Is it like an extra couple of bucks?
I think right now is about the same price. Like, if you wanted a Big Mac meal, it's the same price.
Or are these like rankup toys or what's the deal here?
I don't know.
Why would they think that's a good idea?
I don't know, but the first thing I'm going to do is spray mine with the coating and then use it as aquarium toy. Put it right in my tank just to confuse my play goes it'll just look at them.
My thought is who's their market? It's stoners and so you're home, you're wasted, you're stoned out of your mind. You pull out four eyed Grimments and you go oh he looks normal.
Yeah. All the toys are four eyes, right?
Yeah. Yes. I mean if you're stoned out of your mind you probably go maybe they've only got two eyes.
This makes sense to me.
Yes.
Well tonight we're gathering here. Adam is a busy gentleman. We're going to do the next podcast with Adam. I swear he's not gone but this one's more of an in person.
I think you killed him and killed.
Him and atom this podcast is more of an in person deal. We want to of one review your new store Derek and we're going to get to that. Right? But this is also stories from the internet. Not to be confused with storytime trademark. I wish. That way we can hear about how Jimmy put airline up his ass.
No, that would have robbed that was you that did that.
I still get letters. I got one guy that says he did something similar and he had a message me about it.
That's just disturbing.
Has anyone sent you a brown airline yet?
I didn't know they made it. I know they have colored. Well, you've made it and moving on.
You don't hate about those silicone tubes that you shove up your ass. They all smell like shit.
I'm just saying for context, please listen to the story time episodes.
Is that the culprit right there?
No, looks like this little mold years ago. It was when I was a child.
That child and every day my wife goes rob's is so childlike and I go yeah I know so it was like last week.
So a few updates. One, I like to take the things that I've learned through the week or time since we've done a podcast and try to throw a couple in. Most recently I was talking to Derek and Derek you have a new fish store in Detroit Lakes, Minnesota. You're now open since what? June.
June 3.
Yeah, June 3 and today is October 6 for those that are listening. So you'll see how long it takes us to get this edited and published.
Yeah, he'll be having his first anniversary when this comes out.
Happy New Year. So you've been having some undescribable issues with it. Discus.
Yeah.
So you got a bunch of different discus in big discus, little discus and they all seem to kind of stay alive for you but you'll lose one every blue moon.
I had a specific group come in that they all did really well. Really well. And I still have two in there that are thriving. I brought another group in and they're hiding staying really dull colored in fact really dark like, almost blend into the back background. Done. Water changes. I've added plants, I've tried dither fish. Can't figure out did you play your.
Ukulele in front of me that I haven't put down the list, but apparently all you did one day is you swapped in another filter and then turned up the air chuch to, I don't know, 9000.
Yeah.
So you have a full tundra of air going in the center of a 55 gallon tank with your discus.
Yep.
And today they looked fantastic. So that was all it took, was some of your fish needed more oxygen correct. Of their fat ass selves.
Yeah. Didn't didn't put two and two together about the warm water deal until clean the sponge filters decided to turn up a little bit and now they're doing great.
So for those that are listening, especially if you're at a big inner aquarist, if you have an aquarium and you don't have bubbles, ask yourself where's the oxygen coming from in your aquarium. Some people put those hang on the back filters, but the water level is right up against it, so there's no turbulence in the water, no oxygenation. So don't be afraid. Just if you don't have a bubbler, get one. And if you just have a small stream, don't be afraid to turn up the poseidon jet up to eleven.
Yeah. You need surface agitation, if anything, just.
For your own amusement.
God, if I just need agitation, I sent my ex wife over there.
Right, so what would you like to do first? A bit of an interview on the store? Or would you like to get into creepy ass stories? This is jimmy's Call here. I give it to Derek because he's the guest, but he's the point of focus here.
I think we should do Derek really quick.
All right.
Because if he's discussing as much as I am about this whole we both can leave and you're just going to leave, go on by yourself.
Excellent. Well, you can tell who did the homework today.
Well, once I talked to you this morning and you kind of told me it was about I did prepare a lot for this particular did you? I did.
First thing I did did you bring the rum?
No, first thing I did is when I got home, I took out a towel and some shampoo and a scrub brush. And then because I imagine by the time I get done with this podcast, that I'm just going to feel really dirty and I like to go home and then just scrub myself with a scrub brush in the shower and just kind of cry quietly, like that scene.
Off what was that? Ace ventura?
Yeah.
Pet Detective.
Yeah, that's kind of that's how I feel about after these podcasts. I just feel this kind of dirty, like I got raped a little bit.
Enough about Naked Jim carrey and more about you. What on earth made you want to become a poor fish door owner.
Really? Who made you do this?
Who kept the gun to your head? What motivated you?
Need them dead?
There was a little bit of peer pressure.
A little bit of peer pressure?
No, mostly I got well, I've been keeping fish since I was like five, so pretty much my entire life. At one point in time, I had about 16 tanks rolling in my house. Got very sick of working a nine to five. Not even nine to five, but factory work.
So what did you do before you said factory work? What did you do the factory? I kind of beside your life.
Well, I kind of played all the roles there. I worked my way up the ladder, got sick of that, made it back down on the floor, and I was in charge of the receiving department. This wasn't for me. Didn't like it. So decided to choose a different path and ended up with a fish store.
So what was your goal and how did it change from your original vision? ooh, I got him with a good question.
Before the store. He wasn't suicidal.
Is this true? His beard was also significantly shorter?
That's right.
This man has a beard almost. He's getting like halfway to his belly button.
He's a little z topic.
It's pretty close. Yeah, no, I guess my goal was find something I could tolerate doing day in and day out.
Nothing specific, nothing like I wanted to be X. No X just wanted to sling fish and decent job and smile doing it.
Pretty much.
Be your own boss.
Yeah. It has perks, for sure.
So do you like working for yourself or are you a dick to yourself?
My boss is an asshole.
Yeah, I hear you when you look.
In the mirror and just flip yourself.
Off and go back to work.
So you got the store in Detroit Lakes, Minnesota. It's about, what do you say, 1000 sqft on the main floor?
Yeah, pretty close to that.
And you got somewhere in the department of a matching back room. What else can you tell us about your store? Give us an audio only tour.
Well, there's on the floor itself, close to 60 tanks, various freshwater fish. Right now working on saltwater. 850 gallon koi pond in the middle of the room with some really nice mixed butterfly and standard koi of various sizes.
It's kind of the vocal point. When you walk into the store, you see this ten foot giant box of the waterfall coming out of it and you just have to go see it. He even has these children footstools so little kids can get up and over the edge to see what's inside.
And he's too cheap to feed him, so he's got a nice little machine where he can buy the food and feed the fish.
Twenty five cents and they'll basically jump out of the water for you.
Yeah, I got customers that come in just to do that. They just feed the koi and off they go.
Have you ever thought about doing that, like with Happy Meals and just have Rob sitting there? People would come in and hand a Happy Meals to see Rob eat, throw.
Them a fry, watch him flop like a seagull.
I feel like the moment any child saw one of those toys be the end of it.
Yeah, we gave them to my kid, those Happy Meal toys. We got three of them. We gave them the toys of my kid, and she just looks at him and she chucked him across the room, and that was that.
Oh, I believe it.
It was the best.
I would chuck them also, they're sketchy, right?
Like, I recognize three of the characters. What the hell is that?
Oh, so we have grimace, hamburgler, and birdie, and then they have a new character called cactus Buddy. I don't see how he's a cactus. He looks like a Chicken mcnugget.
Goo.
He looks like a yellow what are those? frickin morty? Mr. meseeks.
Oh, really? Bad version. Yeah, like they hit the wrong box button.
I don't know if you guys ever remember the Mr. Bill show on Saturday Night Live where they oh, no. Kind of looks like Mr. Bill a little bit.
That was Saturday Night Live. Yeah, we're getting way off track here.
I've never seen Saturday Night Live.
You know, nights on Saturday.
I was going to say they moved into fridays, too, because they're bringing back Jay leno.
Not happening.
So you've mentioned 60 tanks. Most of your tanks are 40 gallon to 75 gallon. You do have this really nice shrimp rack stolen out of my basement, but it looks too good to ever not have in the store. You also have one of them fancy overflow beta racks. Now people think you can just buy them, set them up, and they're going to work. What are the things they need to know about those racks? And for those that don't know, if you go to aquarium co ops channel, you'll see a bunch of these what was it? 36 units? 36 individual half gallon containers holding betas. This is the exact same rack.
So when you get one of those, it is the black rack, the little plastic trays that the cups sit on, the lights, the plumbing in the rack itself, and then a glass sump. But there is no filter media, no pump, no nothing. So that was interesting. The size hose they use is a very weird, oddball size. I found. scrambled to get some filter media put together for that and all that.
Whatnot, pot scrubbies?
Pot scrubbies, yeah. Quite a mixture. Now, it took a lot of ceramic, but it's working out really well. Everyone's very impressed by it.
So the first thing you had problems with was there was no lids. Didn't know you needed to have lids.
Yeah, with beta, you absolutely do.
So what did you use? There was some sort of material.
I actually went to local hardware store and got the gutter covers like you use for your gutters on your house. They got little, like, half inch holes in them. I just cut them to size, put them on top. Works really well. You still get food through when it's feeding time, and perfect.
And then I know that you first started out and you had a nice set of betas, and you got a second batch in. Great set of betas. Then you had one person bring in a beta and return it, and you're like, oh, I'll just put it in the recirculating system. And then suddenly began killing your betas. Yeah.
So I'm not even sure what it brought in, but it wiped them out real quick, unfortunately. So now I run what it was a 26 watt uv sterilizer in line.
It's like a 14 inch uv bar that you just dropped in your sump and just continually sterilizing every piece of that tank. So now it's a quarantine beta rack on top of being a sales rack, just in case some kid spits in it or Jimmy comes over and, you know, drops another fish dildo.
That's that's totally me. You know, I think I've told the story a hundred times where there there was a guy in Florida that we went to see, and everybody in Florida, in such a populous state, everybody's moving all the time, and they would come and say, hey, you want to buy my fish? I got to move. And he'd go, no, but I'll take them anyway. So he would throw that fish that's been in somebody's tank for four years in his tank. It could kill everything. So what he did is he bought, I think it was 105 gallon tanks for next to nothing, and he put them all together, and and it didn't matter what size fish it was. He had a ten inch Oscar in there. He'd have a beta in there, and he would just go through there, and it was just amazing the amount of stuff that people gave him. And he would just put it in the tank, and he'd put a price tag of $10, all the fish in this tank. And he said that he made like $15,000 in profit over the course of the first year. And he said he spent about, I think it was $700 he spent he had somebody come in and put some professional shelves, and they're probably pretty high. They're probably like, 6ft up in the air, so you almost kind of had to get on your tippy toes to see what was in each tank. But each tank had something bizarre or weird or somebody's old big angel fish that was a size of five, right? And then you see something like a one eyed blacostomous or something, and he said, I've never had to take a fish and dispose of it. He said, I've sold every damn fish unless it jumped out. He said he had just gotten burnt like you did, where all of a sudden it takes down your whole tank.
Well, now, what he has in the back room, you set up this fantastic acrylic unit, and that seems to be doing some justice. On the bottom, you have another sterilizer just like the back, and it's a bigger acrylic unit. It's supposed to be for your salt waters. He just uses it as a sterilization unit to essentially quarantine everything that comes in from strangers. You have a separate quarantine for other fish. But the questions that I got are, how do you handle some of the things that come in that are small enough to go through the cracks?
Well, we found a beta can go through those cracks, which is not necessarily a good thing. But I have, what, 1617 tanks in the back that have set up for quarantine. Now, that tends to work out better for the smaller ones. Just put them in a 20 gallon or something like that.
So no filtered rate. Just move them to something different.
Just move them to something different.
Easy enough.
Or what do they become a Robbie molly sump?
Molly. Well, he has something molly's anyway, kind of. You have some live bears because you.
Don'T know what they are once they reach the sump. They don't really live that long because of that uv light, but they're going.
To get a horrid wretched tan.
You just go, hey, I got these glowfish. Oh, you've got those pink ones?
Well, I don't know.
They can't kind of glow in the dark from the uv sterilizer.
Would you guys like some flooderidian libeares? Oh, they're not from Florida, though. No, they're just really tan. Don't worry about it.
Vacation libraries.
Well, good deal. We'll certainly check it out. Deesfish Co. There you go is the website. And I'm there, like, I don't know, every other day. So if you want to come see the aquarium guys, that's a great meetup spot than creeping outside our door, right, Jimmy?
We like to go over there and hang out and just stare at people. It's kind of fun. Make them feel uneasy.
Right. And bitch. Because Minnesota made the penis fish illegal.
Yeah. And every time I go over there, my wife always goes over looking for the discus. She's always over there looking at the angel fish, and it's like, hey, we can get fish, too.
Yeah, empty your wallet. Go make it happen. All right, so some stories from the Internet. Jimmy, are you ready? This is generally your favorite type of stuff.
I'm just scared, honestly. I'll be sleeping on the floor tonight in the fetal position, crying.
So the stories I'm collecting are extensions of the hobby. I'm not saying hobbyists did this, but it's part of the theme of the aquarium guys. So we're going to have some fun. First story I'm going to see if I can pull up here. Actually, I'm not going to do anything. I'm just going to show you the video and see what your reaction will be. I might have to skip ahead a little ways here. So these guys are in Australia and they're going into an abandoned zoo. The zoo has been abandoned for many years and they're going into some of the buildings that you'll see on camera here. So you can see the entire structure of the zoo is crumbling, falling apart. This is an exhibit they're going in that was made of fiberglass to make it look like a fake cave.
It is filmed by the guy who does all the bigfoot videos because it's so choppy.
It's choppy, scrambled.
This would be an epic place for a high school party.
100%. Right there, you could see there's some drug paraphernalia and now they're getting into a bigger exhibit area. And you can see oh, I've seen this.
I did see this.
They come into this area and they find this massive tank filled with green formaldehyde and having a I think it was supposed to be a two ton great white shark. There you go.
Collected in formaldehyde and formaldehyde, highly carcinogenic.
So there you can see some of the teeth. Really creepy. Just completely abandoned in Australia zoo. So this particular shark, we pulled the info here. In 2012, a wildlife sanctuary closed down outside of Melbourne, Australia. The operator was supposed to preserve a species of giant earthworm, but got caught running an illegal animal park. One of the creatures, definitely not an earthworm, was a great white shark. The enormous predator was supposed to stay there temporary while its real home was being prepared. Elsewhere, however, the new owners took over the park and they just kept the shark abandoned in the building. When the park closed down due to irregularities, the animals were handed over to rspca. And at this point, the shark story gets kind of muddy. Not only was it left behind the sanctuary, but somehow it ended up in a tank of formaldehyde. They preserved the four meter long great white shark and the park was considered spooky. But the shark tank was downright, haunting the corpse, hanging motionless in the greenwater recently became an internet sensation after urban explorers encountered the beast and posted the video to YouTube. So these particular people like to find abandoned places, film them for YouTube clicks and content, and they just stumble upon this. Now, moving forward on this creepy story, they found out the shark, they gave it a name called rosie the shark, perfectly preserved in formaldehyde, and it became viral. The top was off of it because it became viral. People raided the building. They wrote horrible things in the glass tank. They started throwing trash in the giant tank of formaldehyde. Because of the popularity and because of the risk of evaporating formaldehyde out to now as an attraction with people they supposedly government officials were trying to find a way to get it out of there. It's costly to move a giant tank of formaldehyde, so an organization called there's actually a go to fund me was I think it's Crystal Rock. Crystal World decided to take rosie, drain their formaldehyde, and take the tank with them. And now they've been trying to raise enough money to restore rosie in a proper exhibit. So certainly check.
I follow this whole thing through there watching this, and I'm going, Why are people trying to save this dead shark?
Well, I mean, the company has already sank in a bunch of money. They're just looking for money to see what they can do with it. And it looking like they can restore her. They don't have to rip her apart. They can leave her whole. And maybe it's not formaldehyde, but something else to preserve her in another type of museum.
I tell you, a Gala formaldehyde is very, very expensive. So I can't imagine how much it would cost just to put that much formaldehyde in there.
They control it now a bit harder than they used to in the United States.
Well, I think if you read in that article, it was a mixture of formaldehyde and glycerin.
Yeah. That's what made the well, what they want is they need glycerin, which they need 20,000 liters of glycerin, which costs between 30,000 and $50,000, depending where they can source this. And I'm assuming this was made in 2019, so that was before COVID prices. So they're looking to put that in there, and apparently they even have a filtration system to make sure it keeps nice and crystal clear.
Yeah.
What a story.
Yeah. If you want to see a dead shark, just go on down to the beach in Florida and just hang out there for long enough.
It's creepy as hell. This is the original picture of when it was in the original exhibit. It's a thing of nightmares.
I mean, the thing they could have done is just they could have went out and bought some jello and just chilled the room down enough to get the thing stuck in jello. And it would have been a lot cheaper, because what's jello buck a package? It would take a couple of thousand packages, be a lot cheaper. I'm just saying.
True that.
Right. Well, next story on the horrible list would be here we go. In 2016, a drunk man arrived in the emergency room with a bizarre injury. That evening, the untamed 28 year old had partied with friends in rotterdam, Netherlands. They had decided it would be a good idea to swallow live fish. I think I've spoken about this in the past, Jimmy. Several goldfish were taken from the home aquarium and gulped down without a problem. And someone suggested another tank. occupant, a small catfish. A corridora. A-E-N-E-U-S-A common corridora. I can never pronounce that name.
I always want to say anus.
Well, it's the albino traditional corridor.
It's a green one.
The albinyl green. A toxic fish with its spines was threatened, and the catfish stiffened. Their venom filled needles got stuck in his throat while swallowing. needless to say, the spiky creature now stuck in his throat. Man started choking through a blood and beer, but no fish. His drunk friends applied the heimlich maneuver incorrectly, and the man tried to wash the fish down with more beer, ice cream, and honey. After waiting several hours, they finally decided to go to the hospital. Clearly, they were that shit faced. Delicate surgery ultimately removed the dead catfish, and now it's preserved in rotterdam Natural History Museum, joining a collection that highlights the dramatic encounter between humans and animals. And here is the preserved albino corridora in question.
Oh, my God.
Yes. They have its whole skeleton preserved at the museum.
What the hell?
And I tell you what, and this has all happened to all of us.
We've all got drunk and swallowed corridor. No, my guy.
You've cleaned up your aquarium, and your corridor has died, and all of a sudden, you get hungry.
Hungry. You get real hungry.
Get pricked in a finger from those side barbles.
Oh, yeah. And you swallow up like a bitch.
Oh, man, they are terrible.
I've never had an issue with that.
You got to actually break your skin if you do the top layer. No, but if you break your skin yeah. You'll swallow like a balloon.
So you guys are probably too young to remember, but swallowing goldfish was a thing back in the. They would have goldfish swelling contests in high school.
Jimmy, you're not that old.
No, I'm not, but, I mean, it.
Was a thing that was your mom told you.
No, it's a thing. Look it up. Swallowing goldfish was a thing. Just like getting in kind of the same period. Like, how many people can we get in a goddamn car? How many people can we get in a phone booth? These are people from the who were just freaking bored out of their mind, looking for shit to do.
Those contests where you got to stand there with your hand on the car and wait forever.
Exactly. In Minnesota, we have these concerts on the lake when the lake freezes over.
Yes.
Minnow shots.
And they do minnow shots. What is the traditional one? There's a name for it. They call it like the old fisherman or something.
Oh, I have no idea. I would never swallow a live animal. It just sounds like a bad idea.
It's not with gin. It's something.
Oh, it's tequila, probably.
Vodka.
That is it's vodka. That's it. They do vodka. Minnow shot. And it's a live minnow. They keep live well for fishermen, and they just scoop up and swallow down.
I told the story before on this podcast. My buddy and I, Mark, were down in Florida, and we went to. The big fish show down in the Orlando at the convention center. Armstrong Cricket Farm was there and they had their crickets. But at that time, my two boys were pretty young. My buddy Mark, he had three daughters and they had a thing where if you eat a live cricket, you get a free T shirt. And these T shirts are bright green, bright yellow, bright blue, and it said, I ate a cricket to get this T shirt. And they had them in children's sizes. And Mark and I were like, wow, let's do this, because we don't have to spend money to buy anything for the kids. And there's more money for beer.
Yeah, more bang for your buck.
And so I watched Mark grab three crickets, pop them in his mouth, swallow them and go, Wasn't bad. I go, Cool. I grabbed two crickets, put them in my mouth, and then I made a mistake. I chewed them and this little taste of wet grass and guts went across my tongue and I bought through up.
You know how to make a people want to eat something.
And Mark goes, well, Jesus, you dumb ass, why didn't you just squeeze the cricket and kill them and then just swallow them? Well, that had been good information about two crickets ago, you dumbass.
I would have just looked at him and was like, thanks, Gordon ramsay.
Yeah. So we went home with five T shirts and we still had a cricket. Yeah, ate a cricket. My boys thought it was so bad, dang cool. They wore them to school, they were so proud. And people go, you really ate a cricket for that? My dad did. My dad did.
That's the best. My dad's story like, oh, my dad bought a motorcycle. No, my dad eats crickets.
It eats crickets?
Yeah. And my dad's bigger than yours. Well, my dad eats crickets.
Bad idea.
Lots of honest regret there. All right, so next one on the.
So what's the name of this podcast going to be? Things not to do.
Things not to do.
Okay.
I'm going to ruin the names of this, so forgive me. macduff Aquarium in aberdeenshire is home to several thornback rays. In late 2018, the staff decided to clean one of the tanks. It was filled with ray eggs known as MERD made purses. And a lot of the saltwater eggs, they're just like sharks. It's those little pouches they had. In this case, they had to be removed as all the babies had hatched and the cases were empty. Right. Normal cleaning. However, one of the employee tried to push the air out of one purse. It would not give. He peeled it back one side and was surprised to find an unhatched ray. The unlucky creature has been trapped inside its egg since it was destroyed. The ray still was technically an embryo and not fully developed. And a surrogate shell must be found. The solution, as the guy was panicking was simple but unusual. They grabbed a sandwich bag.
Oh, I thought you're going to say he put it up in his butt or something.
They put it up straight up his dairy air. Captain Warm? Yes. How that? Embryo developed thorns. No, I'm just kidding. It was a sandwich bag as a surrogate. So the solution was simple. The ray happily incubated inside the plastic bag for two months and then eventually, quote unquote, hatched.
So this was a success?
It was a success.
Wow.
The day came when the staff thought it was ready to leave the bag. The baby thornback was removed and placed with ten others thrived, seemingly unaffected by its particular past. So, like a good neighbor rob's has your video. So no video, but what you're seeing here is they're taking the sandwich bag that's been hung in the aquarium for two months, and there's your baby inside. It's like a meth bag. Like, you see, I'm breaking bad. It's not like the full wide sandwich bag. It's like it was supposed to hold dope. So I'm going to say drug bag.
So how does that bag breathe enough that this thing can develop?
I don't think it needs to breathe. I think it's just living off its embryo.
Well, they had that hole in there for that zip tie to go through.
That is true.
It wasn't completely sealed, was it? So now they opened it, still kind of at the top of the water.
Cute little Ray.
They just opened the ziplock and now they're just trying to slowly coax it out.
It's like trying to get that stuck piece of cheese out of here.
They're literally shaking it back and forth, coaxing it and theirs out.
Obviously, it's alive. You seem squirming.
Right?
Cute little Ray.
It's Ray. Ray. The meth bag. Ray.
Yeah.
So that lovely story. I figured I'd give you the soft, cutesy one before we get to the weird shit.
Yeah, that was really clean.
Your palette just for you. And there it goes, completely free swimming like the rest.
Yeah.
Are you guys satisfied?
The other night I was watching one of those zoo shows on TV and they were implanting embryos into bison, into buffalo. And I really enjoy that stuff. My wife thinks it's stupid, but she starts laughing so hard, and I go, what's so funny? She goes, what's coming out of this woman's bra? Did you see this? Anyway, they had this specialist who was at the zoo and she was, you know, had a lot of degrees and and really smart gal. And and so anyway, she they brought in these frozen embryos to implant in these buffalo. And once she thawed them out, you've only got, like, 20 minutes or whatever to get them inside the buffalo. And anyway, it was a cool day at the zoo, and so she had this big rod sticking out of her bra with the embryo. She's keeping it warm inside of her bra. But they don't explain this until after she comes out of the room and you're going, lady, do you know you got a big I mean, it looked like this. It looked like she had this big stick sticking out of her bra. And then she gets Jimmy.
She gets over to grab an algae scraper from my table and stuck it in his shirt.
Yeah. And then she she pulls out this embryo thing like this here. And then they shove it right up the old bison's rectum, and they got Jimmy.
That's not where babies come from.
I mean, an asshole baby, but Jimmy.
Maybe that's all jimmy's experience.
Why do you ruin a shit for me? It was just a beautiful thing. Anyway, they knocked up several of the buffalo. I'm just saying.
Did it work? That was the moral of the story.
But the thing was like our little stingray keeping it warm. Right?
The question is, do they use a meth bag?
Meth bag or between her tits? What was the embryo from a purebred bison? I don't know.
They're trying not to lose the species.
Line or something, because we've all been down to South Dakota.
It's like eugenics, but for bison.
Yeah. There's tens of thousands of buffalo in South Dakota running wild, and the buffalo just do it. They don't need any help. They just do it.
They know how. They don't need to know buffalo like Jimmy.
So anyway, even my wife said, jim, I know that buffalo will just do it, and you don't need to be doing that.
But, yeah, they're a little marvin Gay.
They explained it. And I'm still going it doesn't make sense to me, but it sounds like a lot of way a good zoo could spend a lot of money.
I thought maybe it was one of those hybridized beefalo or whatever they are.
No, that'd be damn tasty.
These are animals we're talking about.
Every time I sit down and be like, would you like a bison burger? I'm like, how close are we to extinction? Yeah, give me that burger. Double down, two patties, more cheese. Flip that bitch.
I had an elk burger the other day.
Was that delicious?
So good.
Hey, because Peter hates us already, and you just mentioned elk burger. Secret desire dead. Dead on us here. I want to have a giraffe burger.
Oh, no.
In the worst way.
You're going to get so many hate males. People love their giraffe.
I don't care. someday, like, if we can get enough giraffes that we can make, giraffes are us.
You are so twisted.
Burger line.
Just like a turkey. You're going to get a damn neck.
Okay?
That's what you're going to get. Here's. A neck. You eat that. Okay? I'm getting hiring quarters.
Help me out here. What's something that's not traditionally food? That you think I'd try that penguin patties.
Penguin patties? People love the penguins. You guys just tappy feet. Jesus. Is tricy you're a horrible person.
No, actually, I wouldn't need I just thought it sounded cool.
But it wouldn't be half as cool as a koala burger.
Is that what you're looking you know, because why not have chlamydia on the side? You realize that basically 100% of koalas have chlamydia.
Why do we know this? Why does one have this in his head that he knows?
Why does science because science here, hold on. Let me Google it.
Koala chlamydia no, don't say it.
Here we go. I'm trying to use the voice. Here we go. Okay. For koalas, uncontrolled chlamydia can cause blindness. Okay, cool. Why the heck do so many koalas have chlamydia? Here we go. Australia begins vaccinating hundreds of koalas.
Well, here's my advice.
Trials began in 2014 show chlamydia vaccine to prevent healthy koalas from developing symptoms.
Why are koalas so loosen in their morals? Why are they giving each other chlamydia?
Because they're hump like koalas.
They're mean.
Here it is. In some parts it's an old article. In some parts of Australia, up to 90% of the equal population is infested with chlamydia.
Well, then we should eat them. Some of bitches into extinction just pulled it up. If you put them long enough on the grill, wouldn't they? When they no pink.
All right, if you want the clap burger, then don't leave any pink.
Okay. We have koala burgers.
Wasn't it, like, two years ago they tried to cook all the koalas already?
No, that was called a fire.
That was when the whole country was burning down. Yeah, maybe it was just a barbecue.
Jimmy I wonder how kangaroo is.
Actually, it's pretty good. I've had kangaroo jerky.
That's a common thing.
Actually, it's rather sweet and very lean.
My first roommate, his dad was a big game hunter and he went every year to Africa and did for 30 some years. And Monday was meet mystery Monday. I'm not shitting you. I am not making this up. Meet Mystery Monday. And I tell you, as college students, we had more gut spices than you could imagine, because rich's mom would send us this recipe, this bag of meat and all these spices, and she would say, Cook it up. And then we called her and she goes, how was it, guys? Okay. And this went on for an entire year.
Guinea pigs.
And we have all kinds of antelope and different things. And one night we had the stuff, and it had the weirdest texture. Weird texture. And I love the story of how COVID started.
And you ate it.
No, it's how eight started. We make this dish and it smells horrible. We got every window open, and I'm going, I'm eating a shit. And rich goes. His mom's name is Mary. He goes, you know, we got to call mom and she's going to ask. We call her up and we'd guess. And if we got it right, she.
Has to tell you no.
If we got it right? Then she would send ribeye steaks next week. It was kind of a contest.
So you wanted to get it right?
Yes. And so anyway, we're guessing, and I'm thinking to myself, this has just got a weird texture to it. And I said, I think it's crocodile or it's alligator. And then Rich guessed something, and then she told us, yeah, that was snake. And that's when I said, I'm kind of done with mystery meat night.
Wait, is it like every other redneck that's like, oh, shoot, it tastes like chicken?
No, it did not taste like chicken. It tasted horrible. Monday mystery meat night, and I highly encourage everybody to do that. Go home and make your spouse something that you found for a roadkill and see how it is.
I'd like to thank you formally for telling us how AIDS started.
Well, thanks for telling me about chlamydia.
Chlamydia and koalas is a real thing.
If you bring up dolphin fornication one.
More time we've been there. Although I have more add ons to that. That's what I should do. Bonus episode for The patreon. They're going to get a little update on the dolphin special.
Nobody wants to hear about that.
Just to go with the comments, we are in discord right now. So if you want to join the debauchery, meet some your fellow fanboys, just go to Aquarium Guys. fanboys aquarium, guys. Podcast. I don't know. What is our website?
Did you just have a stroke?
I did.
I just had a stroke. What's our what if you do one? It's aquariumguyspodcast.com. You know what?
You can do more than one podcast. You'll remember you had numb squad.
It's the STDs.
Nuts.
Go to aquariumguyspodcast.com, bottom of the website. You'll find the link. Join the dimatrion discord and consider throwing us a few bucks. patreon, apparently, is going to start having some more extra content.
I come up with new words to call Robbie.
All right, are we done tiger horrors? No, you derailed us, so I'm going to bring us I did not derail you.
I threw in interesting facts and you brought up chlamydia.
So, Jimmy, do you know what TikTok is?
Yes.
It's what the kids watch short videos on.
Yes, because they have the braless ones.
I watch the brake tok.
They do? I can't remember what it's called. It's the bra no bra challenge.
Excellent. I know what you Google now. However, my feed is filled with aquarium shit because doing research for the podcast.
Sure it is.
Yeah. So in my feed, I come up and I start seeing this. I can only assume as a kid in these videos, I can't really make a lot. I could only see his hands. So I'm assuming maybe a preteen, maybe teenager midget. Now, he's a little taller than that. You'll see the cam footage? He doesn't talk in any of the tiktoks. He just has voiceover, which you'll hear. And I'm going to put you through a journey. This is my man's. shoutout to the username thin Frog on TikTok. This is how I consumed it. So let's join together.
I'm pretty sure I don't want to do this.
Oh, you really don't.
Today I saved thousands of frogspawn from drying up.
Oh, I've seen it oil and trash.
In there and it stinks and it's all drying up. I ended up getting 16 clutches of frog spawns and in each clutch there is up to for 1000 eggs. So in calculations, there is about 60,000 eggs. That's enough for a frog army. Right.
That's video one, he took it out.
Of three foot of water, said it's full of oil.
Well, he, he found a swamp. According to the video in the pictures, he found a swamp and that little swamp is drying up and there's oil and trash. It must be off of close to a gas station or off a highway. Right. So he found a bunch of frog eggs in a shallow marsh that's drying up in his area. He grabbed them and put them in his little pond in his backyard. Right. So now we're going to keep going.
Bro thinks 120,000 frog eggs isn't enough for the frog army. I think the same thing. Let's rescue more frogs. If you don't know why they are in danger, just watch my other videos. I rescued another 14 clutches, so I now have 180,000 frog eggs in estimation.
In a ten gallon pond.
The pond is probably, I'm going to guess because I've done a lot of reviewing of his videos, because this is very fascinating. The pond is one of those preformed ponds, 200 gallons. It's probably either two to 450 because that's what the shape I looked up. There's different models in that shape. So we'll just give him the benefit of the doubt and say 450 gallon pond. It's just a preformed pond that he's thrown in his backyard and it does look like a kind of a suburban area that he's in.
This is going to be a nightmare.
So next video.
And 520,000 frog eggs still doesn't look enough for a frog army. So there is still a bit that I've not rescued and left behind.
Match them in the sky.
Neighbor feeling so much. This bit will dry up within a day or two. Do you think I have the biggest frog army in history? I'm going to take them home and put them in my pond. 740,000. This is all I'm going to have. But if I find some in danger, I just add them into a safer pond with other frogs. I added some into a spare tank and some in my pond. Follow for daily updates.
So I don't know if he got that. He went from 180,000 to 200 and some thousand. Now he's 500, some thousand. He's putting him into another tank on top of his pond. And he's got the itch baby. Right. He just can't stop himself. Yeah, the frog collecting frog eggs.
These frogs will never live out in the wild.
My question is, what kind of frogs are they? Because those are some big eggs for frog eggs.
They're huge.
They're massive.
All right, so next video, day 21.
At the back of the pond. They have all came to the shallow, bid enjoying the sun. Their gills have now disappeared. There was quite a lot of unfertilised frog eggs, but they will eat all that up. Look at all these little babies. I think I actually do have the biggest frog army in history. Just bought some food for them to try in the next video. Update. Follow for daily updates.
So he showed somewhat brine brine.
That was throw worms, blood worms.
He's got so many frogs, he just throw a whole cow in.
He could. So what you're seeing on this particular video is that they're now beginning to hatch in batches. And all you see on the video is wall to wall, like a solid wall of tadpoles. Like there's no water between them. It's just thousands and thousands of tadpoles that he's now collecting. And now he's beginning to feed them. And he's feeding them quality shit. He's not just putting or letting them hit eat bugs or whatever they are. He's making sure that they don't die.
Jimmy, if I'd go lock myself in the house because they're going to kill you. So many of them tadpoles do have.
A habit that when they're in that stage, they'll go cannibalistic in certain scenarios. He's making sure that they don't.
He's going to end up with one tadpole that's going to be the size of his house.
He's dumping in so much food, that quality food, that we'll see what happens.
So the pond water has been getting green and it's hard to see the tadpoles. So I needed to fix that. So I went garden center and went to different ponds to get some plants to fix the algae problem. This is what I got. I will go to ponds every day until the pond is nice and full with plants. Can you see all the tadpoles in a big group?
Can you see it's? The whole top, the algae all up.
So the pond water has did you see that?
It was the whole tub. It was just one. There was one small spot that you saw Wins. As you can see the bottom. The rest was a wall of tadpoles. It's quite incredible. So now he's getting clever. He's like, probably should get some plants. So he doused the whole pond and plants and coverage.
He went out and stole the plants out of the wild.
He purchased stuff to plant them and then got all the plants out of the wild. Yeah, right.
The frog army is two months old already. And the pond needs a bit of a clean because the one point for million tadpoles are shining everywhere and making the water like this. It is hard caring for the biggest frog army in history. They grow so flipping fast. In two months they went from this to this. And they're getting their legs now. And soon they will be one point per million little frogs hopping everywhere like this.
So did you notice that the number keeps changing? Because this is the guy blogs all the time. So I'm picking to give you guys a recap of the videos. He went from 60,000 frogs to now 1.4 million eggs. And he's succeeding to keep the majority of them alive. And now they're hatching in batches because every day while he still hatches, he keeps getting more eggs and growing this. He's still collecting shit. He's still collecting eggs, he's still adding. So now it's 1.4 million, right? And that's conservative estimates as how he measured. He says each ball should be we know that there's more in those balls. So let's just say 1.4 million, right?
There's just four of them here. Imagine one point for million of them. Follow along on this journey. You don't want to miss this.
All right.
Day 62. Today is cleaning day. The pond water is very dirty because 1.4 million tadpoles have been shitting everywhere. First I got all the tadpoles out, what took nearly 3 hours. Then here, I took the water out and cleaned the pond and stone, then added the stones back into the pond and the plants. Now time to fill up. It's done. The tadpoles are in for big spare tanks and some in a couple of buckets. Got to wait 24 hours to get rid.
Day 62 so he's cleaning it and it's so bad and it's making such giant mucky shit because it's just a giant shit machine. You have over a million frog or tadpoles in a possibly 400 gallon pond and other containers because it's so many.
That does not look 400 gallons.
No, this is one of the other containers. Now he's collecting more and more.
Somebody'S got way too much EFF and time on their hands.
He does. That's why this has got to be a child, not just because the grammar sucks and this is wholly childish mantra. It has to be some sort of teenager at best that's doing this.
This is basically me when I was a kid.
Oh, yeah, and there's other catches that you'll hear in other videos. Let's continue.
So, 67 days ago now, I saved lots of buckets of frog spawn from drying up and I estimated one point per million frog eggs. Now I have a frog army. Well, not quite yet, but do yearly there because they grow in legs. They are going to be everywhere. I want to see how this goes. I love frogs. For years I was never allowed a frog. So now I decided to have one point per million frogs.
No, he's an adult.
So follow mom and dad. Frog Say that again.
He's definitely an adult. Mom and dad were saying no and now he has his own place so he can do what he wants.
Maybe he's a special needs, I don't know. He could be just a genius, right? Maybe he's trying to get in trouble.
Is this elon Musk?
He's just getting the clicks. I don't know.
Elon Musk?
Who knows? More horseshit.
So there was a place. What is polluted? What dries up every year killing millions of frog eggs. So I rescued as much as I could every day before they dried up. Every day I filled up a bucket of frogs pond, I took them home and put them in my pond and I came up with an idea to create a frog army. Then before I put them in the pond, I estimated how much I got. I rescued plus 70,000 frog eggs and I estimated 1 million for 100,000 frog eggs. Then they hatched into tadpoles and I'm going to have an army of one point per million frogs. It's not easy looking after so many, but it's worth getting legs. Follow along on updates.
He is not going to have an insect in his yard.
Oh, for sure. Now this video gives us because it's more of a repeating at this point, but what it gives us is more pictures because it's a vlog. He's doing this and he doesn't flog well, he's just vlogging because he knows that the more he puts out, the more people are going to be like, what's this kid up to? So in the videos you can see.
Is this what you did this summer? I didn't see much of the summer. Is this you?
This is not me, admitted, no. You'd know, if it was me because there's still more videos to me, this will kill him. A kid, right. This kid had the video reel proving he had multiple buckets there, did he not? Of the frog spawn? Yeah, like bucket after bucket after bucket and then now we're seeing legs. They're getting big, they're showing pattern. So next video.
I checked on the tadpoles today and I noticed a few frogs hopping around near the stones and I had a look around the garden and found about 400 baby frogs. And then baby frogs will eat lots of flies off this tree and in the pond is thousands of frog legs. So in a few days well, I checked on the pad palms.
I can just imagine okay, let's say this is your neighbor. Can you imagine this? You being your neighbor and you're riding your bicycle home one day and all of a sudden there's 50,000 frogs on the freaking road and you just hit a grease spot and just wipe out into them. yep.
This guy probably lives in the middle of Los Angeles and the whole damn city is just overrun by frogs now.
Yeah.
All right, next video.
95 days ago I rescued one point.
For million oh, 95 dags and put.
Them in my pond for a frog army. And now they leaving the pond. And now a million little frogs hopping around the garden. I don't think I can walk on the grass anymore. This is the biggest frog army ever. But I kind of regret this now no one can go in the garden, the full garden. And the neighbors are taken over by millions of baby frogs. And there is still about half a million tadpoles still.
They're still manufacturing giant frog army grow.
This was successful 95 days ago.
I rushed. Here's the thing. If he could sell these things for a dollar a piece, it would never work. You know what I mean? If it was worth anything, you couldn't do this. But this guy just fell off his freaking wagon.
Okay, so now we're not done yet? No, we're not done yet. Now this guy is getting serious right now. He has oh, he's he wasn't serious.
In the first 1.2 million.
Now he's got a million frogs that have hatched, and his neighbors begin to start talking.
Oh, man.
They'Re everywhere.
Do think this was my fault because of my giant frog army? Because I raised one point for million frogs, for a frog army? They have all spread across the neighborhood.
Okay, so there's a bunch of videos. You got to look this up again. Shout out to the guy. He deserves a little at least your click right? Thin frog on TikTok. There's a bunch of these. And they have invaded his house through the foundation. They have gone through neighbors houses, through their foundations. They have utterly invaded the entire suburban community. I'm going to leave you with this last video because it's drifting now because he's getting in trouble. So here you go.
I think one of my neighbor has left because I created an army of one point for million frogs because she has a phobia of frogs, and it's taken over lots of the neighbors gardens with one point for million little frogs. I didn't think anyone would mind. I did this because they would have dried up, and I was never allowed a pet frog follow to see them get massive.
I wonder how long it took them to name them all.
So when you look at these videos, this guy is showing you the lawn of his garden, which you can't see anymore because it's covered by black brown, just thousands of black. It's like a moving carpet. It's so many of these across his whole neighborhood.
If you want to read more about this, if you check out Revelations in the Bible, you will find out the.
Frogs and the locust was just some kid meming in his backyard. What the hell? Maybe that's the way he did it. It was for a Moses play or something at school.
Oh, my God. That is just yeah. Can you imagine now, these things crossing the highway, and it'd be like running over freaking popcorn.
Well, he's in his videos, he says that he has. To do a certain slow movement to get to his house from his car because he kills so many.
When he got 1.4 million. You probably can afford to kill that.
He has such a problem in his house. He's got thousands of them in his house now.
How do you not have seriously, how do you not have 10,000 seagulls birds?
Oh, God.
Something.
How do you not have 1000 birds in your backyard just eating? gobble, gobble, gobble. Yeah.
Was that a ride?
That was unfortunate.
Now imagine me watching this guy for months. Keeping that under my hat for a while.
Kind of wish you would have.
Welcome, Jimmy. So I now know what I'm going to do next year. I'm going to do a 2.4 million frog army and release in jimmy's yard.
If you put any of those in my fish pond in my house, I'm going to shoot in your mailbox every day for you.
Promise.
I kind of want to see what it looks like when they're fully grown.
Oh, I'm assuming he's not going to stop vlogging about it, but I mean, he's got to be in legal trouble. Let's pretend he's in an hoa. They aren't going to hang him because.
Like one and a half million itty bitty just turned from tadpole to frog size frogs.
That's impressive.
But full size frogs, he showed some.
Bigger ones and they almost I thought the one kind of looked like a leopard frog. I could be wrong, but I thought looked like a leopard frog.
The patterns on the tadpoles look similar.
And those things can jump 6ft. Can you imagine 1000 of these going across the freaking highway in the middle of the night when you're driving home on your motorcycle or your car? Oh God.
Even just walking home, you feel them under your feet.
Hey, at least you won't have those dickheads that try to spray for mosquitoes, you know what I'm saying?
Well, they won't need to.
All right, so last notes before we get to the weirdest one.
I think that's what happens. They talk about sea turtles, they have hundreds of babies, but sea turtle, only two survived to adulthood. And I think this guy just kind of one up nature, right?
So this last one was saved. I was sent this a long time ago, I mean a long effort ago about a gentleman that is creating what he likes to call a Hampshire.
God, these aren't dribbling videos, are they?
It's so much worse.
I don't know if it gets worse.
So this is eleven years ago. This is his prototype for a Hampshire. He names it Mark One. Now there's the audio is shit. So I will describe it's. It's a grainy video because again, it's eleven years ago and it's a sealed, rubber sealed plastic container that he submerges into water. Okay. Seems harmless. Well then the next video that he does is all the way to the bottom here. There it is Project Hampshire Lake Mission. So he takes this same container and now it has a hamster in it with food bowls, a water and food bowl. And he submerges his hamster in his, I'm assuming, tub. It says lake here and does have brown water. And sure enough, underneath water, you have a submerged container to hold a hamster. And this is how his YouTube channel begins. This guy says the YouTube channels. I choose Hampshire Hampture. And it's a massive vlog on how he creates submarine style homes for his furry friends. The good, the bad, the leaks, the deaths, everything's blogged.
Does it explain why, though?
Not once. Not once does it explain why.
And the beautiful thing about hamsters is they chew through everything. He's got them in plastic containers underwater.
The hard plastic gets a certain grade. They don't chew through it.
They don't care.
They're kind of happy.
Dude, squirrels can chew through galvanized garbage cans. I'm just saying, hamster doesn't care about plastic.
They don't. In all his training I have and I've looked through quite a few of these, not one of these had been chewed through.
Well, they're probably sedated a little bit.
I would assume, being submerged.
How are they getting oxygen?
Okay, so let's look at the this is the mach 2.5. So here's one of the earlier videos. He takes these plastic containers and they're sealed. So one end he puts an airline in and the other end he keeps as a check valve. So all he does is continually use different air pumps. He starts with aquarium pumps, but realize they don't have the pressure he needs. So they eventually give up and his hamster dies. They don't have the pressure he needs. So this guy gets really creative. He's very good at engineering some shit. And he's been putting different pressure check valves. And then he moves on to multiple chambers. So first it's one container that has air pumping in and the other's air pumping out. Then it moves to tunnels. So container one goes to container two. And the first areas for his food in bed, the other areas for like a hamster wheel and something else. Very creepy shit. So it just gets more and more intricate the more he does this over the years. Then he starts breeding hamsters in them and making different enclosures where he can connect the ones to have them move, depending on if they need more space for breeding purposes.
Ham lab one and two, right?
Ham lab one and two, it's like space lab. So it gets creative. He's not just doing rubber made totes he'll start getting like a 75 gallon aquarium, just put gravel, fill it with water and then that's his.
So as he's killing hamsters, he's learning.
He's learning. It doesn't really go into a lot of the deaths. You kind of get the stuff that has happened in the past because all.
The hamsters keep changing colors.
He seems to be very focused on the care and happiness of the hamsters. Ironically, normally this would be some Ted bundy shit, in my opinion. Real quick, some serial killer.
That's the first thing that went through my head. It's like, how do I keep somebody underwater so you can't hear them scream?
Yeah, it's a whole lot. So he gets more and more intricate coming with these New Hampshire phases, expedition pods. And here's 2013, April 29.
Oh my God.
Right now, to describe what you were seeing. The middle is the rectangular container. He has an automated water dispenser that's bored through the container. And he has two subpods no, there's a third never mind. They move to the left. So these giant peanut butter containers that he has connected where they can go into for their extra play activities. Now it looks like he has two hamsters in here. I saw a third in the other container. And it's just it's kind of like the hamsters ones that are dry where they have the tubes connecting them. Except he's fitted all of these. So he's got a play wheel. You can see one of the hamsters playing. And this guy is just full on getting just the biggest kick out of his wheel. His wheel and playhouse.
The only thing I can the only advantage is that it probably keeps the hamster smell in your room down to a bit.
It doesn't because it's just going to.
Stink.
So now he begins to add, tries to think of ways he can expand. So then he adds his fish to his enclosure. So fish are on the outside, hamsters on the inside of the same tank. And he doesn't even start doing words. This is still years ago. It's just videos showing of what he did with the webcam and hamsters in an aquarium. Let's keep going here.
So how many videos do you think he's got there's?
Well over 100 so far.
So is he still posting to this day?
Yes, he is. It's a giant did this guy used to like frogs? No.
Are you sure?
That's not what he's painted. So he documents this and now he starts beginning July 20 to do with commentary. So here he is. It in his own voice, maybe. He's a very quiet he's a quiet guy. There we go. I had it.
There's plenty of light, and it's warm enough. If I turn the heaters on, it actually kills the grass and causes condensation up the sides. I don't know what the deal is. Maybe it's too warm in there even without the heaters, just because it's summer, I don't know.
So that's that kind of gives you a little tip that not only is he trying to see if it works, but he's trying to see how long he can do this and what's the long term cleanings and the whole thing. So right now he's talking about temperature. In his room is an ambient temperature, but let's assume 70 degrees, 69 degrees. Then your tank water is supposed to lower that six degrees roughly, right? But inside water acts as insulation at that point. And he's got multiple hamsters in these tiny plastic rubber made bins. I mean, they're tiny. They're literally the same bins that you put, like, your cell phone in when you're going on a tubing trip and put some accessories in. So now he's got a bunch of that with bedding insulation, multiple hamsters, and pumped air, which who knows what heat comes off the pump. And he's experiencing condensation when he puts an aquarium heater in because his hampchurn submerged living space is not insulated enough to handle the warm water to a warmer environment. So it creates condensation inside, creating mold inside of his Hampshiren cages.
So either this guy is a serial killer, or he works for NASA.
If that was his picture. Probably a serial killer.
I'm guessing serial killer. Anybody from the law enforcement listening?
Sure.
You might want to check out because.
It won't fit in the aquarium. I went out literally just caught some wild minnows from a local pond. The nice thing is minnows are really tough. They're like the cockroaches of the fish world.
These are real fish experts.
Wide range of temperatures and phs. I still acclimated them for 15 minutes because that's what the Internet said to do.
It gets pretty great. So let's move on. Move ahead here. Right. Progress board. He makes a patreon, still active to this day. Then he talks about some of the gears battery solutions because he wants an independent Hampshire, of course, because when you're.
Out in the middle of the forest.
Putting people well, now he's just trying to look up, it says here possible locations, because he's talking a mega habitat. So he's building a bigger habitat, and he's looking for locations to try them in his area, like a river, a wetland, or a pond. So it's no longer just in his aquarium at his house. So here's an update from December of 2018.
Hello, my beauties. It's me, mad scientist. Trying to get that angle that you get when you open your phone camera, and it's looking like up at you at an extreme angle, and you look like you've got 17 chins or like your neck is a forecast. How is this doing anything for you? It is.
Jimmy, your arms getting goosebumped.
That's right. I wear sunglasses at night. You have to when you're a mad scientist, you have to dress like this. They require you to send them monthly selfies so that the council can judge your attire. I am here at petco because I recently discovered $550 in my patreon that I didn't know was there. I didn't know. I assumed that Hampshire was going nowhere, and I was totally unaware of the huge spike in supporters from the Mr. Meataker meet occur meat Occurs YouTube channel. So now I've got money to play with.
You buy a lot of hamsters.
So many ideas for today. I'm just going to buy a huge reel of aquarium tubing so that I have enough to actually run an airline out to the habitat.
I'm going to need an extended habitat.
In a way to waterproof the connection.
It's probably hard for you guys to listen to this, but it's pretty creepy stuff. We'll try to buff the audio and post.
So this guy, he didn't know that.
His patreon was working and he was kind of thinking about this Hampshire product project is not paying off for him.
He looks like every criminal, the kind of hiding his identity in the dark.
Wearing sunglasses in a vehicle with a heated jacket on.
So here's him in petco.
Here cozy's.
I felt cute. Okay, yes. I picked a smaller one so that they can vary their own heat voluntarily by moving towards or away from the heated portion of the floor. The other one, most of the floor is heated and the hamster when he would overheat, didn't have a lot of room.
I got hamsters. I got hamsters.
I couldn't resist it. I know that it's going to be a couple of months before I could put Abbott in the water and I should have really waited until then, but I missed having them. I had to wait a while just because I still felt messed up over entrusting the survival of the last hamsters to a guy that I knew for a fact is high more than he is sober.
So he gave up on his Hampshire project because it didn't kick off. Now he's seeing money in a patreon and it's reviving. Boys. So if you're listening to this, please, I choose Hampshire. It is patreon. comhampshire and throw up a couple of dollars his way from the aquarium. Guys, no.
Give him $10 to quit. Go buy some meth and freaking stay home and quit hurting hamsters. You can freak.
It's so much fun. It's so much worse. Give it time. So now more build projects, right? What's a good one I can go to. Let's go to this one.
Hampshire was filmed for a live studio audience and is brought to you by back alley sex change operations. Also the corporation from subnautica. Apparently it's only one letter off. Really activates the old almonds. Really chopped the frank out of that pea pod. I didn't use the hot dog. I don't have hot dogs. I don't eat hot dogs.
So you can tell his vlogs are very all over the place. I'm assuming he's having fun with this.
How have you not had him on the podcast?
I have not reached out. So this gentleman now at this point is in 2019 leak testing for his mega hub. He's getting products like flex seal. He's finding specialized check valves and other things. I mean, he's going all out. So here is the made tunnels. February 2019.
Hello, darkness. My old friend ranking shitty. It was supposed to snow.
I got ripped off.
I bought like $90 worth of food, more than I usually get because I thought I would have to have stockpiles. So if I get snowed in or you scratched up here where the old hole saw slipped after the drill bit broke, but that's going to be covered by the valve.
Look at what he's doing installed.
So for the audience, it's so beautiful.
He's putting outer seal valves, pressure fitting, fitted valves. He's putting bolts through all these new containers and he's making this really big enclosure. If you look at this picture here, Jimmy, you can see that big chambers, cooler sized chambers now and a lot more hardware and equipment that he's engineering together.
When this guy is not doing hampshires, he's doing bombs. I'm saying he's making bombs in his basement, right?
So now he's adding a dome skylight. Let's see for the next one. Using new formed tunnels that he's building himself.
How does a person get to the point in their life where they just wake up one day and go, I want to see hamsters living underwater?
I don't know.
I'm pretty sure this guy's single. I'm just saying for you ladies out there looking for a man to take care of you because I'm sure this guy will take care of you, but you'll probably be in a casket underground, being force fed worms through a tube.
You'll be the next one in a box underwater.
All right, here it finally is. The Mega hab river test. Already eBayed for patreon subs. I got to skip ahead.
So this guy is now out in the waterway.
So I'm going to mute it. So right now here is his vehicle. So he's got all his equipment. He's got this, it looks like battery pack, generator. He's got his whole Hampshiren assembly. And now he's pulled up to a docking station where he's giving it a full test in a lake. He's got a camera inside the hampton and he's fully submerged it into said lake. So it's only a matter of time before he independently floats a Hampshiren out to a lake and then leaves it for weeks on end with solar panels and sees how long they last. I'm assuming he's going to go there to feed. It's getting a little crazy. Now you ask. That was 2019 20 and he's still been doing Vlogs about how he's adding power outlets to his car to do more testing out and about. Lots of fun. But here's the tip of the iceberg. Right here is his twitch channel. And what you're looking at, boys, is a live stream of his current Hampshiren. Sure, there's no end. And yeah, right now we're looking at the hamster sleeping in the hampton. There's nothing in the play space, so.
We'Re hoping the hamster is sleeping.
I saw that, Jimmy.
Peter hates us enough. We don't need them.
It looks like a rat tail.
There's a tail.
That's a gerbil.
Oh, yes, I forgot. He switched to mice for their mouse. Or it's a gerbil. He did switch to mice.
You know why? Mice are cheaper.
So yeah, I choose. There it is. It crawled through the tube and it's still alive. Thank God. We're going to have the links in the description.
Unfortunately, no, don't.
So check out his live stream and make sure that mouse is alive. And if not, call the authorities.
I want to call the authorities anyway.
I don't know what can you imagine that phone call? Excuse me, officer. Yes? There's a man that just killed his mouse. No, that's not a penis reference. Quit laughing. This is an emergency. Yeah.
You have got too much time on this.
I do.
And you crawl into the deepest, darkest crap.
I've been saving this one for a while.
You're disturbed years.
I've been saving this for years.
He should have saved it for a few more years until I was dead.
It's pretty horrible.
So yeah, I just can't get down the why. Like what would be the point?
Well, okay. In some of his other videos, right, he points out that he has a patreon, right. And he has been writing a book.
If you miss the indiegogo, it is generally available to the public on the Vivid dreamkeeper's website that includes merchandise that was formerly exclusive to backers.
At least there is one piece if you wanted book. Wanted part of his book. Great. So I just think that he it's part of his creativity. He's just special that he wants to write vivid stories and then replay them somehow with his mice. I don't know if you ever watched the documentary Don't Fight with Cats on Netflix. A dude tortured cats online and posted them and they eventually he grew out of cats and he went on to people. This guy doesn't want to torture them. He wants his mice happy but submerged. So is the next step that he's going to kidnap some person and put them in an enclosure underneath, like subnautica?
Absolutely 1000% he is. Derek so right.
I have not purchased the book.
I'm scared. That happened in the 70s where somebody got kidnapped and they took and they put him in a casket type container and they buried him out in the middle of the woods. And they said the generator will run for two days and then they're going to be dead. There's movies like that out there. This is this guy, he's just starting.
His Hampshire enclosures so he can keep someone alive in there. I don't think he wants him dead, though, ever. He wants to get good at this.
Jeffrey dahmer wanted a boyfriend for a while too, but that didn't go so well.
He wants to know how to keep his wife from leaving.
But unfortunately she's already dead and she's mummified in the closet.
That puts a whole new meaning to put the lotions on the skin that.
Makes him look normal.
Yeah, I don't know. It's a lot.
It's creepy. It's weird.
If this guy is your ex boyfriend, I want to hear from you. I want to know make this guy tick. I want to know where he's at so I can make sure I never go there.
I don't know. Are you not entertained, Jimmy? You know what?
The frog the frog thing? That's entertaining. This is disturbing.
Come on. You're entertained. I saw the goosebumps on some of your arms. Get creeped out by this.
On some of my arms? Like I've got eight arms?
Yeah. All of a sudden, there's four eyes on my happy middle toy.
Wow. People are just thoroughly entertained right now. They're driving off the road into the ditch.
They got to be. Well, you guys got anything else to add?
No. I'm going to go home and get my wire brush out. I'm going to pour some acid in my eyes and brush my teeth with bleach and curl up in the fetal position, lay on the bottom of the shower and cry for a while. This is weird.
Go home, check out that guy's Patreon Dead series.
Throw him a few bucks.
You got to keep an eye on that twitch stream. It's running all day long. It's just showing his hamp churn. Sure. I always want to say with an.
End, it never ceases to amaze me, no matter what it is. There's a group out there that you could entertain no matter what you do. All these girls, these girls that are doing foot fetish where I'm squishing bananas with my toes and the gals got, like, freaking 30,000 people that follow her money.
That ASMR crap. I don't understand that.
Yeah. So they call things that you never knew that you were excited about. What's, ASMR a surprise boner. Right. So whose surprise boner is for the Hampshire?
It's people making weird, like, mouth noises really quietly and crap.
Like, Robbie made me watch that.
I can't stand that.
Yeah, I did. That was on Thanksgiving together.
So Robbie came over to our house for Thanksgiving, and here's what we do at Thanksgiving, my house, we go downstairs, we turn up the music really loud, and we drink a lot of beer. Then Robbie shows up and comes down and goes, I want to show you guys something.
You guys are going to check this shit out.
And we're looking at each other, and have you ever seen a room clear? Yeah. Robbie cleared the room, and he goes, isn't this great, guys? As I'm walking upstairs, you guys did.
That for an hour before you guys disappeared. I'm just like, how can this end.
Well, normally, I'm head banging to some freaking 80s rock and roll, drinking beer, having a good time, and I go upstairs and I go to jen. I go, don't invite Robbie next year. Frank lost his mind. And so now what's the new rule when you're at our house downstairs, no.
One gets the remote. Besides, Jimmy right.
Robbie does not touch the remote. So I have a sono system at my house. So then he overtakes my sono system, starts playing just really weird shit. Especially my favorite one was that he played who is now one of my favorites, but the freaking girl that was moving.
Oh, bitcha.
Macau Bitchow.
Yeah, she's got a grammy now. Yeah, that was back in the days when she was nobody, right? What the hell is that?
What's her name?
She's copyrighted, but go look it up. Doja cat.
Doja cat. And doja cat's Got a lot of great stuff out now. I really like her.
Yeah, it's literally bitchimacao.
Play it, man.
All right, you guys get a clip.
Just give a quick clip.
Doja cat's.
Big doja cat.
So moo. Here he is.
Then he starts showing us stuff like this.
Here you go. Just a clip. Oh, yeah, right there. Jimmy, give a review.
So we got dojo cat with her.
I'm not a cat.
And she's got French up or no.
Bitch, I'm a cow. bitch, I'm a cow. I'm not a cat. I don't say now, bitch, I'm a cow. So there you go.
So Robbie is not allowed to run videos at my house or my sonos system anymore. He has to sit there and shut up. That's all he can do anymore.
He comes over, hide all electronics from him, make him walk through a metal detector before entering your home.
No kidding. You know what? Here's another.
I'm glad that one stuck. That really is.
Hey, Robbie, here's another turkey sandwich. Shut the heck up. He just literally killed the buzz in the room, and people just left the one. What just happened?
You instantly sobered up.
Because my parties on the basement are epic. Every time we have a party downstairs in our basement, it just cost me $85 to clean the carpet because people are dancing and spilling drinks and throwing up. It's a great time, but no. Robbie comes in and starts playing a bitch, I'm a cow, and freaking clears the place up.
And some chick going our buddy Wayne.
Though, that joins Thanksgiving with us. He was thoroughly amused.
Yeah, he had nightmares. Wayne had nightmares for several days.
It was a legitimate nightmares. Not even comedy.
Yeah. No. So he said that Robbie is not allowed to play that anymore.
You play him this podcast and show him. I choose Hampshire.
No.
Or at least the frog army that was shown.
The frog army.
All right, well, if you guys got some royally up stories no, we don't want to know about, send them in Facebook page discord.
Yeah, you kind of want to hear smart.
Oh, yeah.
Well, okay. Last one before I leave. Derek and I spent. I'd invite him over. bro, what are we going to do?
I don't know.
And we just sat at this podcast studio. I have a 65 70 inch TV above us. And all we did for the next 6 hours was look stupid stuff up on the dark web. Yeah, it was great. They had make contraptions out of peanut butter. They had an entire exercise thing of how to do exercises to stretch your penis out.
Robbie learned what a red room is.
Don't Google that we found red room. No, besides that. It was a lot of fun. Okay, well, next time you want to burn 6 hours no, we can do another episode like this.
I'm going to go home, lock my door and turn off the lights and pretend it's freaking Halloween. I'm not answering the door.
Who is it?
Robbie. jim's not here.
It's not Thanksgiving yet, right? Leave me.
Well, I don't know. You still haven't got the clearance to come over you this Thanksgiving.
All right, well, guys, don't forget Deesfish. D-E-E zfish co. Check it out. Come see us. Come see the aquarium, Derek. Thank you.
Thank you.
Got anything to add? Any kickass specials that are they say, hey, I listen to the podcast. What's my discount?
Oh, he's got discus on sale. 75% off. 75% off. Not tomorrow. He'll be marking him up to $300.
There you go.
We'll see what we can work out.
All right. So you get a mystery promo when you say, hey, I listened to you on the aquarium guy's podcast.
Yeah. If you go in there and say, hey, Derek, I heard you on the podcast, he'll say, I'll tell you what's the red room is.
No, do not when you get last update before we go, we've had plenty of people express to us from a prior episode of how we've pranked different people wherever we go. At least wherever I go and I have a fish friend, I generally try my best to leave a dildo in an aquarium. I did it to Jimmy. I've done it to a lot of people. I even did it to Ohio Fish Rescue when we stayed at their place for about a week and I left a dildo in one of their tanks. And sure enough, it showed up in a couple of the YouTube videos.
Did you ever get invited back?
Yeah. We keep in touch lightly, but we're both busy people.
Robbie calls them and they go, don't call us anymore.
Josh called me, found the dildo. Love it. It was great. So now people have been asking for aquarium dildos, specific aquarium dildos from us. So we are looking into sourcing specialized aquarium dildos for our audience. You'll find posts probably on our Facebook page. And definitely check out the discord.
That is so demented. soda mended.
Well, buy some merch, share this with a friend, and don't kill your hamsters in a subter submarine style rubber made.
Tote also, don't Richard gearam either. So Richard Gearham. You know, Richard Gear, the actor. Okay, yeah. Look it up.
Till next time. Thanks, guys, for listening to podcast. Please go to your. Favorite place where podcasts are found, whether it be spotify, itunes, stitcher, wherever they can be found, like subscribe. And make sure you get push notifications directly to your phone so you don't miss great content like this. Australia up to 90% of the equal population is infested with chlamydia.
Well, then we should eat them. Suffer bitches into extinction. Just pulled it up if you put them long enough on the grill, wouldn't they?
When the community no pink. All right, if you want the clap burger, then don't leave any pink.
Okay? We have koala burgers.
Wasn't it, like, two years ago they tried to cook all the koalas already?
That was called a fire.
That was when the whole country was burning down.
Yeah, maybe it was just a barbecue. Jimmy I wonder how kangaroo is.