WEBVTT 00:00.410 --> 00:00.670 It. 00:00.740 --> 00:06.186 Close your eyes for a moment. Imagine standing at the edge of a vast emotional ocean. 00:06.378 --> 00:09.546 The waves crash against the shore, carrying. 00:09.578 --> 00:17.070 Stories of joy, sorrow, resilience, and growth. Each ripple represents a moment of vulnerability. 00:17.490 --> 00:23.066 A chance to dive deeper into our own hearts. What is emotional intelligence? 00:23.258 --> 00:27.602 It's a skill you can learn, and it a game changer that can transform. 00:27.746 --> 00:29.526 How we connect with others. 00:29.708 --> 00:31.986 Think of EQ as a compass, guiding. 00:32.018 --> 00:40.374 Us through life's tempests, helping us navigate relationships, decisions, and our own inner tides. I'm Curtis. 00:40.422 --> 00:41.670 My pal here is Joe. 00:41.750 --> 00:44.490 And we are dudes in progress. 00:55.570 --> 00:56.650 Hey, Joe. 00:56.810 --> 00:59.758 Hey, man. Welcome back, my friend. 00:59.844 --> 01:01.582 Yes, it's good to be back. 01:01.716 --> 01:04.914 It's good to go away, but it's good to come back home, too. 01:05.032 --> 01:07.154 Look at you all Disney fied, man. 01:07.272 --> 01:10.802 Oh, I got my Mickey Mouse sweatshirt on. 01:10.936 --> 01:20.902 Yeah, I know that this is an audio podcast, but Kurt's sitting there with his Mickey Mouse sweatshirt and looks rested and relaxed and ready to hit life. 01:20.956 --> 01:26.790 Man, after his long trip to Disney with his Disney pals. Yeah. 01:26.940 --> 01:29.322 Spent ten days. That was fun. 01:29.376 --> 01:33.994 I tell you, Kurt, that may have been the most relaxing, calming introduction we've ever done. 01:34.112 --> 01:36.460 Yeah, I just feel good. 01:37.070 --> 01:39.766 Each ripple represents a moment of vulnerability. 01:39.878 --> 01:41.242 How about that? Man? 01:41.376 --> 01:42.174 I love it. 01:42.292 --> 01:44.170 You love my style of writing. 01:44.330 --> 01:45.086 Yeah. 01:45.268 --> 01:46.094 Thank you. 01:46.212 --> 01:46.926 Well done. 01:47.028 --> 01:47.998 Well done. 01:48.164 --> 02:02.962 Yeah, I was in an airport just coming back from Orlando. I love checking out the bookstores when I'm traveling. They always have good self improvement kind of titles to give me an idea. 02:03.016 --> 02:06.530 I don't necessarily buy them there. I'll go then check them out on Amazon. 02:06.870 --> 02:09.266 But I saw this one had caught. 02:09.298 --> 02:10.674 My eye for two reasons. 02:10.722 --> 02:12.278 There's a couple words there. 02:12.444 --> 02:15.250 Actually, all three words in this title caught my attention. 02:15.330 --> 02:23.754 It's emotional intelligence habits by Dr. Travis Bradbury. And I'm thinking, I'm pretty sure I. 02:23.792 --> 02:27.766 Read his other book, and I was trying to find evidence in my Kindle. 02:27.798 --> 02:29.834 Whether I did, and I couldn't find that. 02:29.872 --> 02:33.726 I've actually read this, but I'm feeling like I've read the other book that he did. 02:33.828 --> 02:41.774 I think it was called emotional intelligence 2.01 of these books, where it also gives you a test so you can. 02:41.812 --> 02:43.426 Get an idea like an IQ kind. 02:43.448 --> 02:46.162 Of test, only this is what they. 02:46.296 --> 02:49.374 Use the term EQ for emotional intelligence. 02:49.422 --> 02:53.458 He's one of the premier researchers and. 02:53.544 --> 02:55.262 Authorities on this topic. 02:55.326 --> 02:56.850 And, yeah, I was taking. 02:56.920 --> 03:00.150 Then I got back home, and I'm looking at the description of the book. 03:00.220 --> 03:03.670 Well, first of all, those words caught my attention. 03:04.090 --> 03:04.674 Emotions. 03:04.722 --> 03:07.282 We've talked about that intelligence, but habits. 03:07.426 --> 03:14.874 Like, oh, Joe and I have talked about habits quite a bit. And how does that little twist, putting those. 03:14.912 --> 03:17.110 I'm always up for a good habit conversation. 03:17.190 --> 03:17.820 Right. 03:18.270 --> 03:22.762 It's interesting, Kurt, the term EQ, I've heard it over the past several years. 03:22.816 --> 03:25.274 But it's a relatively new term. 03:25.322 --> 03:27.914 I think it's a relatively new concept. 03:27.962 --> 03:28.270 Right? 03:28.340 --> 03:35.674 Yeah, I think this book. Yeah, I was going to say the emotional Intelligence 2.0. Oh, I was going to look it up, but it's even referenced. 03:35.722 --> 03:36.978 I was going to give you a. 03:36.984 --> 03:38.578 Little bit of this book, but I. 03:38.584 --> 03:39.886 Want to say, like, 2019. 03:39.998 --> 03:48.002 So it's not that old. It's fairly new, like you say. But he's saying how EQ is critical. 03:48.066 --> 03:52.966 To your success in talking about life and at work. We're going to go into some of. 03:52.988 --> 03:56.934 The framework that he's talked about in. 03:56.972 --> 03:59.930 His previous books, and then he gets into this habit stuff for this book. 04:00.000 --> 04:01.770 Gives you some idea of how to. 04:01.920 --> 04:18.670 Overcome lack of motivation and willpower to form new habits. Increase your confidence, likability, happiness, self control and mental strength. Form strong relationships by mastering conflict, communication, neutralizing toxic people, which is similar. 04:18.740 --> 04:23.086 We were talking about a couple of episodes. We'd been talking about making friends and. 04:23.108 --> 04:26.426 Also beat stress, increase the productivity, and become a great leader. 04:26.458 --> 04:30.958 So those little bullets caught my eye. So I think I may eventually, I'm. 04:30.974 --> 04:33.346 Reading another book right now, but I think I'm going to get into this book. 04:33.368 --> 04:41.010 But I just wanted to intro this topic this week, Joe. So I did some research from a few articles out there on the Internet. 04:41.090 --> 04:44.600 And see if this is something that catches our interest. 04:44.970 --> 04:45.286 Yeah. 04:45.308 --> 04:49.058 And maybe we can expand on it a little bit. I know when you first told me. 04:49.084 --> 04:55.146 That this is what we are talking about, my immediate reaction was, okay, is. 04:55.168 --> 05:01.686 There a test we can take? I love a good personality test or a good IQ test or some kind. 05:01.728 --> 05:04.286 Of personal ranking kind of test. 05:04.388 --> 05:22.578 Those kind of things. I love those types of things. So if we can find a little emotional intelligence test that we can do, nothing terribly extensive, but I'll bet you we can find something that we can take within a few minutes, and it'll at least give us guidelines, and then. 05:22.664 --> 05:25.486 Maybe we can, in another episode, chat. 05:25.518 --> 05:27.138 About it on the show. 05:27.224 --> 05:29.414 Yeah, well, you texted me that this. 05:29.452 --> 05:31.094 Morning, and I was already thinking about. 05:31.132 --> 05:33.270 That as I was doing this research. 05:33.340 --> 05:34.706 But I was thinking I probably can't. 05:34.738 --> 05:40.726 Do both and be ready for today. Funny enough, I did find a pretty. 05:40.748 --> 05:43.626 Good free one, and I did it, and I'm going to mention it in. 05:43.648 --> 05:45.562 My resources at the end. 05:45.696 --> 05:46.778 So we can. 05:46.944 --> 05:48.042 Have you taken it yet? 05:48.096 --> 05:49.100 Yes, I have. 05:49.710 --> 05:53.162 Awesome. Okay, well, don't share your results. Okay. 05:53.216 --> 05:53.482 Right. 05:53.536 --> 05:55.390 I'm not going to spoil it yet. 05:55.540 --> 05:58.974 Because I'll take it as well. And maybe we'll talk about our results next week. 05:59.092 --> 06:01.470 Exactly. And this book would be cool. 06:01.620 --> 06:07.746 His previous book, and this book also includes a free test, so you can. 06:07.928 --> 06:08.706 Because. 06:08.888 --> 06:12.820 Let's get into this. I love asking questions and getting your. 06:13.190 --> 06:14.578 Gut reaction to things. 06:14.664 --> 06:17.378 Would you say that you are an emotional person, Joe? 06:17.554 --> 06:26.834 Yes, I am. I cry more than I used to, but that's not the only measurement for emotion. 06:26.962 --> 06:27.830 Emotional. Right. 06:27.900 --> 06:29.494 We all go right there. 06:29.532 --> 06:35.898 I think as guys, man, he's so emotional, or she's so emotional usually means they're crying, right? 06:35.984 --> 06:36.282 Yeah. 06:36.336 --> 06:37.722 So that's right where I went. 06:37.776 --> 06:40.214 But generally, people know when I'm happy. 06:40.352 --> 06:57.380 And I'm not afraid to be sad. I'm not afraid to express fear and anxiety at a certain level, I think that we need to be careful in social situations not to drag other people down. 06:58.150 --> 07:01.486 But generally, yeah, I would say I'm. 07:01.518 --> 07:04.514 Okay with my emotions, and I am an emotional person. 07:04.632 --> 07:05.700 How about you? 07:06.010 --> 07:16.550 No. Never considered myself an emotional, emotional. I'm more like a spock, I think, in that regard. Yeah, maybe the word. I would have used the word stoic. 07:17.050 --> 07:17.654 Yeah. 07:17.772 --> 07:31.034 I know when to be stoic, but I also know that there are situations that emotions are appropriate and they help communicate some kind of message, and we don't think necessary. We have to be careful. 07:31.082 --> 07:38.638 Kurt, I think to not equate emotion with sadness or crying and things like that. 07:38.804 --> 07:42.490 Generally, I find you to be an emotional person, interestingly enough. 07:42.580 --> 07:43.170 Okay. 07:43.320 --> 07:45.166 You're not afraid to laugh. 07:45.358 --> 07:48.606 You're not afraid to express frustration. 07:48.798 --> 07:56.210 You're not afraid to tell people that you're feeling, in a way, generally, and. 07:56.280 --> 08:01.046 You'Ve always been like that. Somebody might say, well, you know, you're really good friends and you know each. 08:01.068 --> 08:05.094 Other, but I think since day one, you've always been like that. 08:05.212 --> 08:08.474 That's an interesting take on it. I think where I was coming from. 08:08.512 --> 08:11.542 And as I was thinking of emotional. 08:11.606 --> 08:22.250 Intelligence, I think there's intelligence in your immediate reaction to be emotional about something. So, to me, I'm analytical. 08:22.330 --> 08:26.014 When someone gives me bad news, some. 08:26.052 --> 08:28.046 People just lose it. 08:28.148 --> 08:30.654 They can't think, and they're not that. 08:30.692 --> 08:32.800 Good under a stressful situation. 08:33.190 --> 08:34.978 That's where I was thinking. 08:35.144 --> 08:36.100 Got you. 08:36.550 --> 08:44.210 Yeah. So, in that way, I'm pretty good in controlling my emotion up front. 08:44.360 --> 08:48.898 I'm fairly stoic, too, then I would say, if that's the benchmark. 08:48.994 --> 08:50.838 But I also know that, and I. 08:50.844 --> 08:57.974 Guess I've learned this as I've gotten older, that emotions certainly have its place in relationships and communication. 08:58.022 --> 09:00.220 You're smarter than me on this because. 09:01.790 --> 09:05.462 It'S interesting, because I read this emotional intelligence. 09:05.526 --> 09:13.594 My first perception is I am really intelligent when it comes to emotions, because I do tend to control my emotions. 09:13.722 --> 09:17.150 I don't fly off the cuff, I think. 09:17.300 --> 09:17.854 Right. 09:17.972 --> 09:25.170 And respond emotionally to things, especially at work. I had a situation today. 09:25.240 --> 09:29.714 Someone came to us. We were doing some support, and quite. 09:29.752 --> 09:31.700 Often people, when they have technical issues. 09:32.070 --> 09:37.754 They'Re emotional about them. I think one lady made a comment. 09:37.902 --> 09:39.334 Like, we can't fix this. 09:39.372 --> 09:39.960 Right? 09:40.650 --> 09:44.166 You're not having a conversation over a phone. You're chatting about it. 09:44.188 --> 09:46.518 And I was in a meeting, and. 09:46.524 --> 09:53.510 I see this come across like my head. I know, exactly. We can fix. Like, she went right off to, this can't be fixed. 09:53.590 --> 09:55.994 So let me ask you something. 09:56.192 --> 09:58.794 If you did fix it, and she. 09:58.832 --> 10:06.174 Said, wow, kurt, thanks a lot, man. I really appreciate this. And she was genuinely excited. Would you call her an emotional person. 10:06.292 --> 10:10.078 Because she got excited that I fixed it? Yeah, probably not, though. 10:10.164 --> 10:18.302 See, somehow we equate the word emotional with the negative expression of our feelings. 10:18.446 --> 10:19.522 Yeah, that's true. 10:19.576 --> 10:22.690 Sadness or anger or frustration. 10:23.110 --> 10:23.694 Anxiety. 10:23.742 --> 10:25.860 And I think we have to be careful with that. 10:26.390 --> 10:30.534 Yeah. And as I'm introduced this topic, I. 10:30.572 --> 10:34.806 Learned that there's different components to this, and I'm probably only good at one. 10:34.828 --> 10:37.810 Of them, and I'm weighing that one really heavy. 10:37.970 --> 10:39.386 Just give a little insight in what. 10:39.408 --> 10:44.234 I'm starting to interpret from what I've been reading so far. 10:44.352 --> 10:49.702 Yeah, you're good at not showing people that you're sad or mad or angry or frustrated. 10:49.766 --> 11:01.370 You're stoic in those areas. But you do commonly express happiness and joy and general cheerfulness. 11:01.530 --> 11:02.094 Yeah. 11:02.212 --> 11:04.222 Right. And those are emotions, too, aren't they? 11:04.276 --> 11:07.266 Absolutely. Well, let's get into this a little bit. I got some more questions for you. 11:07.368 --> 11:09.230 A lot of these comes from an article. 11:09.390 --> 11:17.142 I'll tell you what it was at the end. Do you recognize the emotion you are feeling? Do you recognize emotions in yourself during the day? 11:17.196 --> 11:17.794 Joe? 11:17.922 --> 11:19.160 I'm not sure. 11:19.690 --> 11:26.520 I'm just trying to run my mind through my day very quickly and understand how today went. 11:26.890 --> 11:29.050 Yeah, I would say yes. 11:29.200 --> 11:29.802 Okay. 11:29.936 --> 11:35.130 Yeah. I know when I'm feeling happy about something. I know when I'm feeling a little. 11:35.280 --> 11:38.586 Hesitant or anxious about something, I would. 11:38.608 --> 11:44.718 Say, yeah, generally, I recognize the emotions that I'm feeling. I think the emotion that I have. 11:44.804 --> 11:49.482 The most problem with generally is understanding. 11:49.546 --> 11:50.766 And I don't even know if this. 11:50.788 --> 11:57.922 Would be considered an emotion, but understanding. When I'm feeling blue or depressed about. 11:57.976 --> 12:02.594 Something, and I'm not talking about clinical depression, I don't know any other word. 12:02.632 --> 12:07.666 To use for it. And I don't want to go down that road. But when I'm feeling blue or depressed. 12:07.698 --> 12:12.566 Or melancholy about something, I'm not sure. I always recognize that for what it. 12:12.588 --> 12:16.678 Is, and I'm not sure I always accept it for what it is. 12:16.844 --> 12:18.874 And I agree with everything you're saying. 12:18.912 --> 12:26.970 For myself, I would have a hard time really knowing, am I good at this? Do I really? 12:27.120 --> 12:28.618 I'd have to ponder this one for. 12:28.624 --> 12:35.294 A while and I could hear in your tone you're doing the same. So I think we're on the same line there with that one. 12:35.412 --> 12:38.766 Can you manage those feelings without allowing them to swamp you? 12:38.868 --> 12:40.094 And I think this starts to get. 12:40.132 --> 12:41.898 Into, when you dig in a hole. 12:41.914 --> 12:44.190 Do you just keep going down that hole? 12:44.350 --> 12:53.490 I'm not sure about this one. I know definitely there have been times that I've managed my feelings to get a job done. 12:53.640 --> 12:56.598 I've been great in a crisis and. 12:56.684 --> 13:04.406 I've been the voice of reason when everybody else was an emotional wreck. But there have been times that I. 13:04.428 --> 13:07.350 Have let fear overtake me. 13:07.500 --> 13:10.326 There have been times that I've let frustration overtake me. 13:10.348 --> 13:12.486 We've talked a lot about the flood. 13:12.518 --> 13:19.974 Of 2023, and I think there was a lot of second guessing and a lot of frustration that I let overtake me. 13:20.112 --> 13:35.378 Did I let them swamp me? I would say at times, yes, I have. I did let them overtake my state of being in the moment one or. 13:35.384 --> 13:38.302 Two times that I can remember in recent memory. 13:38.446 --> 13:42.654 You just made me think of a really famous scene. 13:42.702 --> 13:48.086 I remember in our family trip to Disney World with my wife's family, we. 13:48.108 --> 13:53.430 Had a hurricane come up right up the middle of Florida, right towards Orlando. 13:54.090 --> 13:57.250 They closed the parks. We were in Epcot. 13:57.410 --> 14:00.790 They told us ahead of time they're going to close the parks at noon. 14:00.950 --> 14:04.038 We were staying at the polynesian, beautiful, amazing resort. 14:04.054 --> 14:12.230 It was the first time we were staying there. And we got back, they had a flashlight and some instructions on the bed. 14:12.320 --> 14:22.202 Of what to do during the hurricane. One of them was, if you really feel uncomfortable, take the mattress and put it up against the sliding glass door. 14:22.266 --> 14:24.686 So we waited as it start to. 14:24.708 --> 14:35.018 Get to pee, like 1011 o'clock I mean, it felt like the roof was going to come off this resort. We were getting gusts over 100 miles an hour. You were looking outside the window. 14:35.054 --> 14:39.430 Now there were my family, three kids. 14:39.500 --> 14:43.622 My wife, and same on my sister in law's family. 14:43.756 --> 14:49.062 They have three kids and their husband. Every last one of them panicked and. 14:49.116 --> 14:51.130 Started running over to the main building. 14:51.280 --> 14:56.090 During the middle of the hurricane. And I got so mad at them. 14:56.160 --> 14:57.882 They were told not to go, not. 14:57.936 --> 15:03.230 To do that, and they got scared and they ran off into the middle of a hurricane. 15:03.650 --> 15:05.518 And when they got over there, I'm. 15:05.524 --> 15:08.894 Going to go with them, see what happens. They were told, go back to your. 15:08.932 --> 15:12.994 Room and follow the instructions while things. 15:13.032 --> 15:16.206 Are flying around the resort. 15:16.398 --> 15:20.420 It's not that the wind that's blowing, Joe, it's the things that the wind is. 15:22.790 --> 15:27.570 Funny, but I saw panic in the situation. 15:27.640 --> 15:32.946 Of course, the roof never did blow off, and things end up pretty. They handled it quite well, but learned. 15:32.978 --> 15:36.950 Something that day about myself, which kind of knew. 15:37.100 --> 15:39.194 Can you motivate yourself to get jobs done? 15:39.232 --> 15:40.634 A loaded question. 15:40.832 --> 15:43.180 Sometimes yes, sometimes no. 15:44.190 --> 15:45.706 I think I have a hint, a. 15:45.728 --> 15:50.846 Touch of ADHD or some kind of. 15:50.868 --> 15:52.686 Letters behind my name, some kind of. 15:52.708 --> 16:01.338 Acronym, whatever it is. But I can always motivate myself to take one step in the right direction. 16:01.514 --> 16:07.458 So I'm not sure about that question and whether that's the right question to ask. 16:07.544 --> 16:15.442 I think I understand what it's asking. Like, do you allow emotions to hinder. 16:15.506 --> 16:19.522 Your progress in getting something done, like fear, for instance? 16:19.586 --> 16:23.240 Yeah, fear, I would say definitively, yes. 16:23.930 --> 16:30.102 I can motivate myself to get jobs done. How well I stick with those jobs. 16:30.166 --> 16:30.442 Right? 16:30.496 --> 16:30.714 Yeah. 16:30.752 --> 16:34.058 And how many breaks I have to take and how distracted I get in. 16:34.064 --> 16:41.466 The process is a whole different subject, I think. But in that moment, can I motivate. 16:41.498 --> 16:44.446 Myself to move beyond whatever emotion I. 16:44.468 --> 16:48.574 Happen to be feeling and do the job? Yeah, absolutely. 16:48.772 --> 16:53.826 I think of the health questionnaire our company likes us to do. One matter of fact, we get a. 16:53.848 --> 16:56.834 Discount on our health insurance if we. 16:56.872 --> 17:01.874 Complete this questionnaire and a couple of other things. I've talked about this where sometimes I. 17:01.912 --> 17:11.366 Feel like I have a little bit of depression or anxiety in my life. 17:11.388 --> 17:12.614 But when you read some of these. 17:12.652 --> 17:23.180 Questions, a lot of times they'll go to a point of, hey, has your anxiety or depression ever caused you to miss work? I'm like, no. 17:24.270 --> 17:32.302 There'll be a lot of questions in that vein. Has it been so crippling that you've done this or what have you? I'm all like, no, it's never gotten that bad. 17:32.356 --> 17:35.120 So as I'm reading these, I'm thinking the same. 17:35.890 --> 17:37.470 So this is an interesting question. 17:37.540 --> 17:40.894 Can you motivate yourself to get jobs done? 17:41.092 --> 17:43.774 Is an interesting thing for me because. 17:43.892 --> 17:45.102 I like being done. 17:45.156 --> 17:47.074 No matter what I'm doing, I want to be done with it. 17:47.112 --> 17:51.442 But that said, I can definitely motivate myself to start. 17:51.496 --> 18:01.430 I can move myself beyond whatever emotional state I happen to be in to take action. Does the job always get done? Let's talk about how interested I am. 18:01.500 --> 18:05.126 Talk about that shelf again, depends on. 18:05.148 --> 18:09.958 How interested I am or else if there's something else that catches my attention. 18:10.054 --> 18:11.226 Shiny object. 18:11.408 --> 18:15.094 Do you sense the emotions of others and respond effectively? 18:15.222 --> 18:16.666 This is a great question. 18:16.848 --> 18:18.362 I am very good at this. 18:18.416 --> 18:19.962 I thought you would say that. 18:20.096 --> 18:23.226 And I'm not being braggadocious and I'm. 18:23.258 --> 18:25.422 Trying to answer this with a certain. 18:25.476 --> 18:29.502 Sense of humility, but I am able. 18:29.556 --> 18:33.374 To sense when people are in a certain emotional state and I don't know. 18:33.412 --> 18:36.066 What it is, but I'm usually spot on. 18:36.168 --> 18:37.730 Yeah, I would agree with that. 18:37.880 --> 18:41.826 And when I can sense something's going on with somebody and I ask and. 18:41.848 --> 18:46.020 They say nothing and I say, I understand. 18:46.890 --> 18:48.198 If there is something and you want. 18:48.204 --> 18:50.438 To chat, just let me know, man. 18:50.524 --> 18:50.918 Yeah. 18:51.004 --> 18:59.562 And inevitably it comes up, right? Maybe a day, maybe an hour, maybe a week. But I do have this. 18:59.616 --> 19:00.506 I don't want to call it a. 19:00.528 --> 19:03.654 Superpower, but I do have a keen. 19:03.702 --> 19:08.214 Sense of people's emotions and when they're. 19:08.262 --> 19:13.838 In a way, even when they're happy about something or sad about something, I. 19:13.844 --> 19:18.782 Think the second part of that was do I respond effectively? Did you ask that? 19:18.836 --> 19:19.198 Yeah. 19:19.284 --> 19:25.954 I don't know. Is it effective to, when you sense somebody is sad to ask them, are you okay? 19:26.072 --> 19:27.870 I think that's effective. 19:28.030 --> 19:31.426 Do I badger? No. Do I pick up on it? 19:31.528 --> 19:32.690 Yeah, almost always. 19:32.760 --> 19:34.100 I'm pretty good at this. 19:34.790 --> 19:35.362 I agree. 19:35.416 --> 19:36.538 And I think one of the reasons. 19:36.574 --> 19:39.558 You are good, you're interested in people. 19:39.644 --> 19:46.614 And you look for it. I would say you don't ignore the signs. So you're very good at that. 19:46.652 --> 19:47.462 I would agree, yeah. 19:47.516 --> 19:49.014 Well, if you've answered yes to these. 19:49.052 --> 19:52.138 Questions, do you sense the emotions of. 19:52.144 --> 19:53.686 Others and respond effectively? 19:53.798 --> 19:56.598 No, I don't have a lot of emphasis. 19:56.614 --> 19:58.154 I'm being tough on myself again. 19:58.272 --> 19:59.130 I think you are. 19:59.200 --> 19:59.820 Yeah. 20:02.110 --> 20:10.638 I don't know if you're trying to be intentionally super stoic or if you're being tough on yourself or maybe you don't know yourself well enough, you. 20:10.724 --> 20:11.294 There are times. 20:11.332 --> 20:12.094 I'm good at this. 20:12.132 --> 20:16.260 Yes. But, yeah, I'm not as good as you. 20:20.870 --> 20:23.598 The score on this one would be lower on mine than yours. 20:23.694 --> 20:24.834 We'll say that. 20:24.952 --> 20:29.062 This is a funny thing with me. One thing I had to learn about this because I feel like I've always. 20:29.116 --> 20:34.680 Had this at some level. One thing I had to learn is to let it go. 20:35.290 --> 20:37.590 When I know something's wrong with somebody. 20:37.660 --> 20:42.858 When I know that there's something cranking inside of them. I used to just want to know. 20:43.024 --> 20:44.810 What'S going on with you, man, or. 20:44.880 --> 20:46.234 Honey, what's going on. 20:46.432 --> 20:50.880 Yeah, I know you said nothing, but I can tell there's something going on. And. 20:52.610 --> 20:57.406 When I was younger. When I was younger, this is where. 20:57.428 --> 21:00.266 I would say I did not respond effectively. 21:00.458 --> 21:00.910 Okay. 21:00.980 --> 21:05.774 And that comes with maturity, right? That comes with maturity and understanding relationships. 21:05.822 --> 21:09.460 And knowing boundaries and all of that good stuff. 21:11.510 --> 21:12.610 Again, it's just interesting. 21:12.680 --> 21:17.214 I think I'm really good at recognizing. 21:17.262 --> 21:20.318 Or managing my feelings without letting them swap you. 21:20.344 --> 21:24.774 I'm really good there. But when I look at this one. 21:24.972 --> 21:27.190 Do you sense emotions of others? 21:27.340 --> 21:28.358 I don't even try. 21:28.444 --> 21:30.234 I don't really try that hard. We'll put it that way. 21:30.272 --> 21:36.214 But, yes, I am empathetic and can be. Not a superpower of mine. 21:36.342 --> 21:39.020 Maybe that was a little arrogant, but. 21:39.630 --> 21:46.126 I agree with you. I think you answered all those honestly. Well, if you have answered yes to these questions, it is likely that you. 21:46.148 --> 21:53.422 Have developed some or all the skills that form the basis of emotional intelligence. So let's define it. 21:53.556 --> 21:58.626 Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand, use, and manage your own emotions, and. 21:58.648 --> 22:03.860 To understand and respond to emotions of others, which that part I didn't really understand. 22:04.230 --> 22:13.078 It is a critical skill for success in all areas of life, including personal relationships, work and school. Emotional intelligence is a skill to increase success. 22:13.164 --> 22:24.118 It helps you build stronger relations, manage conflict, and perform better in various aspects of your life. Would you agree with all the above? 22:24.294 --> 22:41.678 I would. And whatever we call this emotional intelligence, being a people person, being empathetic, whatever we call this, if you can get this skill down, you will go a long way, no matter what you're doing. 22:41.844 --> 22:43.602 If you can really get this skill down. 22:43.656 --> 22:53.554 Because when people are around you and they feel like, and they feel safe and they feel respected and they feel. 22:53.592 --> 22:59.240 Encouraged and they feel. I don't know what word I'm looking for. 22:59.690 --> 23:05.586 They feel better when they're around you because you're connected, you have an emotional. 23:05.618 --> 23:13.018 Connection and emotional understanding of the situation, even when they're mad or angry. Even when they're mad or angry at you. 23:13.104 --> 23:15.606 If you can master this skill, you'll. 23:15.638 --> 23:17.706 Go a long way. I do believe that, and I believe. 23:17.728 --> 23:36.100 That this is a foundational skill that will take you a long way, and it will open up doors that degrees won't open up. It'll open up opportunities that skill won't open up. 23:36.470 --> 23:40.546 You can do a lot with emotional intelligence, if that's what we're calling it. 23:40.728 --> 23:45.054 Yeah. And it'll open up doors that what. 23:45.112 --> 23:50.070 People usually consider intelligence or IQ, EQ. 23:50.570 --> 23:53.318 Might open doors that because as a. 23:53.324 --> 23:57.078 Society, we think the super intelligent people are really awesome. 23:57.244 --> 24:07.482 I was thinking of a story. I remember sitting next to this guy when I was younger and getting into technical. I was moving from the business really. 24:07.536 --> 24:12.814 Into the it space, which I was really proud of. Remember sitting next to this one guy. 24:12.852 --> 24:17.950 Who was super intelligent, technology wise, brilliant guy. 24:18.100 --> 24:20.318 He'd probably tell you that too, I think. 24:20.404 --> 24:35.746 And I can remember him on the phone with people and the way he talked to people, just, I was embarrassed for him. He was toxic. Right. And I think one of the reasons. 24:35.778 --> 24:37.266 For my success, and I know I've. 24:37.298 --> 24:46.550 Had people tell me directly I had a technical ability, but also I understood the business and I could solve problems. 24:46.620 --> 24:56.922 Because I understood the business problems and I can empathize with and know what they were going through. That helped me, even though I didn't have the technical ability at the time. 24:56.976 --> 25:01.562 But they always felt they could teach me that part. You can't teach some of this other. 25:01.616 --> 25:05.006 Stuff if they don't want to learn it. If they're toxic, boy, nobody wants to. 25:05.028 --> 25:06.078 Work with that person. 25:06.244 --> 25:07.006 Absolutely. 25:07.188 --> 25:07.822 Yeah. 25:07.956 --> 25:12.846 And if you're in a job situation, if you're working for an organization in. 25:12.868 --> 25:18.386 A group of people, and you are the one with the emotional intelligence, you. 25:18.408 --> 25:20.450 Are the one that's typically looked to. 25:20.600 --> 25:22.578 As a leader, right? 25:22.744 --> 25:27.782 Yeah. So I'm going to give you some. I got five core skills in this area. 25:27.836 --> 25:28.854 I'll break it down for you. 25:28.892 --> 25:30.534 Just describe them. 25:30.652 --> 25:33.606 Self awareness. Emotional intelligence allows you to understand your. 25:33.628 --> 25:36.470 Own behavior, reactions and limitations. 25:36.810 --> 25:42.154 This self awareness helps you navigate relationships and make informed decisions. Even as I was thinking of those. 25:42.192 --> 25:43.866 Questions, I don't know, like I said. 25:43.888 --> 25:45.194 I don't know how self aware I am. 25:45.232 --> 25:47.498 This is something I could improve on. 25:47.664 --> 25:49.050 Self regulation. 25:49.390 --> 25:52.542 Managing your emotions and responding thoughtfully, especially. 25:52.596 --> 26:00.286 In challenging situations, is a key to component of EQ. It helps maintain composure and adaptability. And I've already talked about, that's probably. 26:00.308 --> 26:05.634 The one I feel I excel more than others. 26:05.752 --> 26:06.578 This is the one. 26:06.664 --> 26:09.620 Self regulation is the one that. 26:11.430 --> 26:16.790 I think I have a pretty good grasp on it. Sometimes I tilt the machine. 26:19.930 --> 26:21.094 I like the way you put that. 26:21.132 --> 26:23.378 You're talking about a pinball machine. 26:23.474 --> 26:25.618 Yeah, that's a great analogy. 26:25.794 --> 26:29.586 Motivation, EQ, fuels your drive for self improvement and personal growth. 26:29.618 --> 26:31.886 It keeps you motivated to achieve your goals. 26:31.938 --> 26:33.994 We're probably pretty. Both you and I wouldn't have this. 26:34.032 --> 26:38.826 Podcast if we weren't good at this one. One of the reasons we do this. 26:38.928 --> 26:40.734 I feel pretty good about this one as well. 26:40.772 --> 26:41.310 Yeah. 26:41.460 --> 26:51.850 Empathy, the ability to understand others'feelings, without judgment is empathy. High EQ individuals effortless connect with people from diverse backgrounds. 26:51.930 --> 27:13.106 One of the best compliments I've heard, Kurt, about myself and about relating to people, and I've heard this from more than my share. I would say is, man, Joe, when I'm with you, I feel like I'm the most important person in your world. And I think that does speak to empathy. 27:13.138 --> 27:14.566 That does speak to the ability to. 27:14.588 --> 27:17.350 Understand others and their feelings. 27:17.850 --> 27:18.886 And that feels good. 27:18.908 --> 27:20.198 That's something to build on. 27:20.284 --> 27:22.346 Now, I've got a lot of work to do in a lot of other. 27:22.368 --> 27:25.930 Places, dude, I guarantee you that. But I feel good about that. 27:26.000 --> 27:27.910 That's good self awareness. 27:28.070 --> 27:29.706 I like watching movies when I'm on. 27:29.728 --> 27:32.234 The airplane, and I can recommend one. 27:32.272 --> 27:35.006 I think you might like this. Did you see the movie the green book? 27:35.108 --> 27:35.902 I think you'll really. 27:35.956 --> 27:40.240 Green book? No, I've seen the green Mile with Tom Hanks, but not the green book. 27:40.690 --> 27:52.446 Yeah. So it's an interesting story of this italian american Brooklyn guy. You can maybe conjure up some ideas. 27:52.478 --> 27:54.514 Of what big italian family. 27:54.632 --> 27:57.300 He works at a club in the 60s. 27:58.230 --> 28:07.270 There's mafioso kind of things in the club, and he does some things. The club gets shut down for some renovation. He's out of work. He's got him still make ends meet. 28:07.340 --> 28:22.654 He gets recommended to drive this virtuoso piano player around the country, but specifically down south. And he's a black man in the. 28:22.692 --> 28:30.122 He's a tough italian kind of guy, and he's got integrity. He's actually staying away from the mobsters. 28:30.186 --> 28:35.118 A little bit, which isn't interesting. But the way that he doesn't seem. 28:35.134 --> 28:36.782 Like an empathetic guy in the beginning. 28:36.846 --> 28:44.046 And they draw his character up like that. He's not tolerant of when you say diverse backgrounds. 28:44.158 --> 28:47.366 There's a scene where these two black men are doing some work in his. 28:47.388 --> 29:00.234 House, and his wife gives them some water and he throws away the glasses to give you an idea where this starts. And the character who plays this is actually based on a true story, which. 29:00.272 --> 29:02.490 Is, I love when that's the truth. 29:02.830 --> 29:27.086 And the way their relationship starts. And this virtuoso guy is very proper. So you got this italian Brooklyn guy with the mouth and toughness with his very, he's like a classical pianist and he's playing for wealthy people. So I think you'd really love this movie. 29:27.278 --> 29:28.530 It's called the Green Book. 29:28.600 --> 29:29.650 The Green Book. 29:29.800 --> 29:41.030 And, yeah, talk about empathy. He shows it. It's just a human story that I think you'll. And it's a true story and I think you'll really enjoy that. Yeah, I'll definitely check a little side note there. 29:41.100 --> 29:43.506 But yeah, related, check it out to empathy. 29:43.538 --> 29:48.602 You'll see how they both empathize with each other and help each other out during this. I really enjoyed that. 29:48.656 --> 29:51.222 All right, last one, social skills EQ. 29:51.286 --> 30:01.026 Enhances your communication, active listening and relationship building skills. Being approachable and making others feel welcome are a hallmarks of a social intelligence. 30:01.078 --> 30:07.738 Which you alluded to. Yeah. Like we were saying, the benefits, you're. 30:07.754 --> 30:10.458 Going to have more close, meaningful relationships. 30:10.554 --> 30:11.466 You'Re going to be able to handle. 30:11.498 --> 30:13.810 Everyday stress and high level of resilience. 30:15.430 --> 30:25.650 Be more socially competent, greater overall well being, and increase your level of success in many areas of your life. So there you go. 30:25.800 --> 30:30.274 Yeah, I think that there are definitely benefits of emotional intelligence. 30:30.322 --> 30:32.022 And when you look at your list. 30:32.076 --> 30:37.862 Here, have more close, meaningful relationships, be able to handle everyday stress and high. 30:37.916 --> 30:40.754 Level of resilience, and be more socially. 30:40.802 --> 30:44.794 Competent and greater overall well being. Who doesn't want this in their life? Right. 30:44.832 --> 30:57.358 Increase your level of success in many areas of your life. And it's a skill that can be learned, and it's a skill that I've learned over time, sometimes intentionally and sometimes just through life. 30:57.524 --> 31:04.030 We've mentioned a book here a few times over the past couple episodes called the seven habits of highly effective people by Stephen Covey. 31:04.110 --> 31:07.202 And Stephen Covey speaks a lot about. 31:07.336 --> 31:19.234 Listening skills and active listening and relationship building. And he speaks to that as one of the habits of highly effective people. And he teaches a whole process about active listening. 31:19.362 --> 31:21.334 And when you do it, you almost. 31:21.372 --> 31:23.254 Feel like you're techniqueing your way through. 31:23.292 --> 31:26.498 A conversation, but it's very effective. 31:26.594 --> 31:35.546 Yeah, I agree. And I've been talking about this with you as we turned into the new year. I think I observe other people in. 31:35.728 --> 31:37.706 Either communities I'm a part of or. 31:37.728 --> 31:40.586 At work and like to be more. 31:40.608 --> 31:43.360 Like to do more of what that person's doing. 31:44.530 --> 31:52.410 Why are they so liked? I guess. What are they doing? What are some of the things that they're doing? I think I can do more of those things. 31:52.580 --> 32:00.420 When you're part of an organization, I do see where sometimes people get frustrated with somebody with a high EQ because. 32:01.030 --> 32:15.110 They tend to move forward in the organization. And somebody with that rightfully may have a higher degree or they are smarter and technically more astute. 32:15.530 --> 32:26.460 But the person with the higher EQ that can manage his way through relationships, that can manage his way through conversations, that can allow people to contribute because. 32:27.790 --> 32:34.970 He or she understands their emotions, those people, I have seen it in organizations. 32:35.050 --> 32:38.430 Where definitely the person with a higher. 32:38.500 --> 32:42.542 Iq and is probably smarter gets looked. 32:42.596 --> 32:45.086 Over because they don't have a good EQ. 32:45.278 --> 32:45.826 Interesting. 32:45.928 --> 32:46.242 Yeah. 32:46.296 --> 32:49.374 This goldman, they talk about some of the studies. 32:49.502 --> 32:51.986 So in reality, what do you think. 32:52.008 --> 32:53.870 Is more important, IQ or EQ? 32:53.950 --> 32:56.838 And high IQ is no guarantee of success. 32:56.924 --> 32:58.454 How successful you are in life is. 32:58.492 --> 33:05.218 Determined by both that emotional intelligence and your iq. And though intellect works best when it's. 33:05.234 --> 33:09.382 Accompanied by high emotional intelligence, in reality, IQ contributes to. 33:09.436 --> 33:11.434 They've done some research. 33:11.632 --> 33:15.514 It's about 20% of the factors that determine your life success. 33:15.712 --> 33:17.818 We all know someone who has a. 33:17.824 --> 33:27.594 High iq, yet they struggle to do well. So what's the other 80%? There's other things like social class and just plain old luck. 33:27.642 --> 33:30.654 But they say life success is really. 33:30.692 --> 33:32.698 Influenced more by an individual's ability to. 33:32.724 --> 33:37.186 Engage the five aspects of EQ that. 33:37.208 --> 33:38.420 We were talking about before. 33:39.510 --> 33:40.834 I couldn't agree more. 33:40.952 --> 33:52.486 I love that study that is qualifying what we believe. So I think as I dig into some more research here, maybe I'll bring. 33:52.508 --> 33:53.154 It to the podcast. 33:53.202 --> 33:59.030 But I did find a test we can try, which I already did. 33:59.180 --> 34:02.458 But before I share that with you, I want to know, Joe, what was. 34:02.464 --> 34:03.658 Your win for the week? 34:03.824 --> 34:07.782 Good show, Kurt. First of all, I like this subject. 34:07.926 --> 34:10.426 And I would like to take this test, and I would like to bring. 34:10.448 --> 34:13.086 Our results back and discuss them together. 34:13.188 --> 34:13.790 Absolutely. 34:13.940 --> 34:27.634 And just see what happens. But my win for the week is I had breakfast with my daughter Sunday morning. We met for 930 and didn't leave the table until afternoon, and sat there. 34:27.672 --> 34:29.730 And drank coffee and ate breakfast and talked. 34:29.800 --> 34:31.266 And it's been a little bit since. 34:31.288 --> 34:33.326 I've had breakfast with this particular daughter. 34:33.438 --> 34:38.822 It was a blast. I love it. And it's amazing that her and I. 34:38.876 --> 34:41.846 Can carry on such a conversation, such. 34:41.868 --> 34:45.846 A long conversation, and engage with each other. 34:46.028 --> 34:48.378 And we are so different when it. 34:48.384 --> 34:56.154 Comes to the way we look at life at times, right? But we have such a good relationship. 34:56.272 --> 34:58.938 That we can discuss openly these things. 34:59.024 --> 35:02.330 And really have vigorous debates. 35:02.830 --> 35:04.446 It was really cool breakfast with my. 35:04.468 --> 35:06.414 Daughter this past Sunday. It was awesome. 35:06.532 --> 35:10.478 That's a perfect example of me looking at someone else and some of the. 35:10.484 --> 35:12.446 Things that they do and the way. 35:12.468 --> 35:13.614 You interact with your family. 35:13.652 --> 35:18.494 And I know this practice of breakfast is a great way to get some. 35:18.532 --> 35:26.102 One on one time and have some conversation. I know you get into some deep conversation. I'm encouraged to do that with my kids too. Matter of fact, I called my son. 35:26.156 --> 35:37.170 Before I sent Joe a text. My son Harry has started a podcast. It's called sick face. So if you're interested in the strange. 35:37.330 --> 35:38.598 What a great name. 35:38.684 --> 35:43.318 I know my wife has always encouraged. 35:43.494 --> 35:50.886 Horror movies and that kind of the occult and different things, and not, that's. 35:50.918 --> 35:53.930 Probably the wrong way to say it. They always enjoyed that kind of thing. 35:54.000 --> 35:55.798 And so he's been working on this. 35:55.824 --> 36:06.594 Podcast for a long time, and my younger son's working with him on it too. So it was an area that we can share. He did a great job for his first, and I'd actually love for you to listen to it. 36:06.632 --> 36:08.450 And he was concerned about the audio. 36:08.950 --> 36:13.106 And was like, dude, I think you're killing it. 36:13.288 --> 36:15.378 But anyways, well, I'm sure he had. 36:15.384 --> 36:16.178 A little bit of help. 36:16.264 --> 36:19.142 Yeah, well, he called me to wonder. 36:19.196 --> 36:25.574 How we could host this podcast. It was one of the things he was asking me about. But yeah, anyways, it's an area where. 36:25.612 --> 36:31.654 We can connect on, right? We don't always see eye to eye on certain things too, but it's a. 36:31.772 --> 36:34.474 Mutual interest now that we both can share. 36:34.592 --> 36:38.442 Him and I have always had that in a lot of different areas, but that's cool. 36:38.576 --> 36:38.874 Yeah. 36:38.912 --> 36:41.982 My win for the week is the vacation trip to Disney World. 36:42.036 --> 36:57.758 This was really something my wife was planning for quite some time, and her friend went on a Disney cruise, Judy and Ken. And then they met us up and it was just a real fun relaxing. 36:57.854 --> 37:02.146 Especially for her to do whatever she wants to do. And she loves to go hard in. 37:02.168 --> 37:06.050 The park, so I'm glad she got a chance to do all the things. 37:06.120 --> 37:08.006 She wanted to do. I got to see a bunch of. 37:08.028 --> 37:18.498 My friends from my community just showed up, like 30 of them. So that was fun to see again, people from my podcast community at Disney World, as usual. 37:18.594 --> 37:20.806 So they knew in advance you were going to be down there. 37:20.828 --> 37:24.634 And did they plan a trip to come down with you, even though this. 37:24.672 --> 37:26.182 Was supposed to be just you and your wife. 37:26.246 --> 37:27.114 It's not just me. 37:27.152 --> 37:29.500 It's like, hey, here's an opportunity for. 37:30.110 --> 37:33.354 Us friends to get together and one talks to another friend. 37:33.392 --> 37:39.200 And it's not like, hey, Kurt's going, so let's all go. It's more like, hey, I'm going to go. Do you want to go? 37:40.210 --> 37:42.266 But it just so happened that Kurt. 37:42.298 --> 37:43.154 Was there at the same time. 37:43.192 --> 37:46.770 I guess what a the this time. 37:46.840 --> 37:49.666 I was the motivating, not. It's not always me. 37:49.768 --> 37:51.380 They do this without me, too. 37:52.550 --> 37:58.006 Anyways, it enhances my experience for sure. Having friends, Joe, is always have a. 37:58.028 --> 38:00.422 Social life can be a good thing for you, right? 38:00.556 --> 38:01.394 No doubt. 38:01.522 --> 38:04.326 What's your resource for the week? 38:04.508 --> 38:07.926 Yeah, my resource is interesting. I don't know how it connects to. 38:07.948 --> 38:12.506 This show, but I was looking through some old books that I had, and. 38:12.528 --> 38:23.102 I found this book called Strengths Finders by Tom Rath, and it's through the Gallup group, and it's one of those personality tests. And we talked about that in the beginning of the show. 38:23.156 --> 38:25.326 And it just so happens that I. 38:25.348 --> 38:28.190 Put this particular book as my resource. 38:28.530 --> 38:30.302 It's a really good book. 38:30.356 --> 38:32.160 And the book, in and of itself. 38:32.690 --> 38:33.962 Is not the magic. 38:34.026 --> 38:43.860 The magic is what you get when you buy the book, and that's the strength finders test. I don't know if I'm saying that right, strength finders or strengths finders. But anyway, strength finders test. 38:44.230 --> 38:48.018 And it comes quote unquote free with the book. 38:48.184 --> 39:03.980 And what the book is about is after you take the test or in taking the test, it helps you flesh out what those strengths are. But they have a website that you can go to and understand your strengths and so forth. And I took the strengths finders test and I have my top five, and. 39:04.350 --> 39:11.786 I really appreciate the guidance that it gives me and understanding kind of what. 39:11.808 --> 39:13.738 Drives me and the way I think. 39:13.824 --> 39:15.226 And there's a couple of these types. 39:15.258 --> 39:19.614 Of tests, but I really do like the strengths finders by the Gallup group. 39:19.732 --> 39:21.454 That's perfect for what we were talking. 39:21.492 --> 39:23.514 About here because I think this emotional. 39:23.642 --> 39:26.322 Intelligence book 2.0 has the same thing. 39:26.456 --> 39:31.790 To help you get that self awareness, and it is good to get that self awareness. 39:31.950 --> 39:33.454 Did you ever do strengths finders? 39:33.502 --> 39:34.658 I have, yeah. 39:34.824 --> 39:36.946 I don't remember your top five off. 39:36.968 --> 39:38.914 The top of my head, no. 39:38.952 --> 39:39.922 What was some of yours? 39:39.986 --> 39:42.786 My top five is, number one is belief. 39:42.898 --> 39:43.222 Okay. 39:43.276 --> 39:44.806 And I think belief is just a. 39:44.828 --> 39:46.306 Core sense of principles. 39:46.418 --> 39:48.970 I'm not going to go through each one. I'll just tell you what the top five are. 39:49.040 --> 39:54.874 Belief is number one. Developer is number two. Relator is number three. 39:55.072 --> 39:56.906 Futuristic is number four. 39:57.008 --> 39:59.050 And number five is connectedness. 39:59.630 --> 40:02.860 Okay. Yeah, there was one in there. 40:05.170 --> 40:07.822 I know I could probably still log in there. Find it. 40:07.876 --> 40:08.526 You can. 40:08.628 --> 40:18.278 Awesome. So this article that I based, today's episode comes from website called positivepsychology.com, articles. 40:18.314 --> 40:23.106 Called importance of emotional Intelligence. So you can look that up or check the link. Joe's been doing a great job with. 40:23.128 --> 40:30.790 The website, so you'll see that link in our website if you want to check out that article. 40:31.210 --> 40:34.214 And the test I found is a. 40:34.252 --> 40:37.240 Free emotional intelligence test. 40:37.610 --> 40:44.586 It's at ww truity.com slash testemotionalintelligence test. 40:44.688 --> 40:46.906 But we'll have the link on the website. 40:47.008 --> 40:47.914 You can check that out. 40:47.952 --> 40:49.866 Put in the Facebook group, too, if. 40:49.888 --> 40:52.186 You want to do your own test. And I'm going to give this to. 40:52.208 --> 40:57.550 Joe so he can do his test. And we'll compare notes, hopefully next week. 40:57.700 --> 40:58.862 I will certainly do that. 40:58.916 --> 41:00.974 That's one way to do it. You can buy the book I was. 41:01.012 --> 41:05.738 Mentioning, which was from Dr. Travis Bradbury's. 41:05.754 --> 41:10.226 Brand new book, Emotional Intelligence Habits, which I'm getting motivated now as I'm talking. 41:10.248 --> 41:14.740 About it, to go get that book. I just want to finish the one I'm doing right now first. 41:15.430 --> 41:16.658 Only thing, hold me back. 41:16.744 --> 41:22.806 I'm most curious about emotional intelligence 2.0 and the habits. Anything that has habits in it, of. 41:22.828 --> 41:24.582 Course, I'm going to buy. 41:24.636 --> 41:26.070 Right? I thought maybe. 41:26.140 --> 41:26.674 No doubt. 41:26.722 --> 41:28.620 Okay, how about a quote for the week? 41:28.990 --> 41:37.034 Well, mine comes from Ralph Waldo Emerson, and this is related to our subject. To be yourself in a world that. 41:37.072 --> 41:39.322 Is constantly trying to make you something. 41:39.376 --> 41:42.322 Else is the greatest accomplishment. 41:42.486 --> 41:43.994 Sounds like your strength finders. 41:44.042 --> 41:46.190 Isn't that quote a little bit? 41:46.340 --> 41:47.038 Yeah. 41:47.204 --> 41:53.730 Be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. Go be yourself. 41:53.880 --> 41:54.386 Yeah. 41:54.488 --> 41:58.850 But in the process of being yourself, be emotionally intelligent. 41:59.270 --> 42:00.114 Right. 42:00.312 --> 42:05.234 Still connect with other people, teach them how to be themselves and that it's okay. 42:05.352 --> 42:06.894 Yeah, I love that. 42:07.032 --> 42:08.150 How about yours? 42:08.570 --> 42:11.382 I've learned that people will forget what you said. 42:11.516 --> 42:21.074 People will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. That's from civil rights activist Maya Angelou. 42:21.202 --> 42:30.058 Yeah, my Angelou's amazing. She is amazing. She really is a national treasure. And I love this quote by her. I've heard this before. 42:30.144 --> 42:32.378 Right? This is a well known quote. 42:32.554 --> 42:35.070 This strikes deep with me. 42:35.140 --> 42:36.798 The thing I want to say this. 42:36.964 --> 42:53.490 When people leave me, I want them to know that they just had a good human interaction. Right. I want them to feel like, yeah, I just connected at some level with another human being. 42:53.640 --> 42:53.954 Yeah. 42:53.992 --> 43:01.480 I think this is even good. I think if you're giving a speech, any public conversation, they're not going to remember what you. 43:03.130 --> 43:07.062 There's an interesting analogy that I have. And just track with me here, if you would. 43:07.116 --> 43:07.730 Yeah. 43:07.900 --> 43:11.494 I love the mission Impossible movies. 43:11.622 --> 43:12.250 Okay. 43:12.400 --> 43:12.906 Right. 43:13.008 --> 43:13.370 Yeah. 43:13.440 --> 43:20.410 They make me excited and a little anxious and I cheer the guy on and, yeah, you're. 43:21.150 --> 43:22.880 Man, I'm there, man. 43:23.490 --> 43:27.850 I'm really with the Tom Cruise character and I'm cheering them on and I'm. 43:27.930 --> 43:32.446 Interested in the characters and watching them go through their process of getting out. 43:32.468 --> 43:39.502 Of the situation that they're in. And I really feel great watching this movie. 43:39.646 --> 43:40.434 Right. 43:40.632 --> 43:43.682 Generally, I can't tell you what any one of them is about. 43:43.816 --> 43:45.540 You don't know the plot at all. 43:46.150 --> 43:46.834 In a way. 43:46.872 --> 43:54.070 I remember characters and how the characters made me feel. He has to find something and somebody else is trying to find it before. 43:54.140 --> 43:57.080 He finds it and they find it. 43:57.710 --> 44:02.938 Whatever. I guess it's the same thing. But, man, I sure remember how it made me feel. 44:03.104 --> 44:11.870 Hey, a good story can do that. That's what great storytellers can do in movies. 44:12.530 --> 44:26.778 Music so in the third Mission Impossible, Philip Seymour Hoffman plays the bad guy in this movie. And I can't tell you what he was after. I can't tell you what he was trying to get. 44:26.884 --> 44:29.198 I can't tell you who he was trying to punish. 44:29.294 --> 44:30.786 I can't tell you any of that. 44:30.888 --> 44:37.970 I just know that he was one mean Sob. One of the meanest sobs I've ever seen in movies. 44:38.130 --> 44:40.374 Because he was just cold hearted and. 44:40.412 --> 44:42.054 He creeped me out. 44:42.252 --> 44:56.460 He scared me, man. And so I say all that to say. Think about this quote from Maya Angelou. People will forget what you said, what you did, but they'll never forget how you made them. 44:57.630 --> 45:00.730 Joe, I was thinking of the diehard movie, the first. 45:00.800 --> 45:06.906 The bad guy there. Yeah, man, what a great character that made his career. 45:07.018 --> 45:09.934 I don't know the actor's name. I think he's passed now, too. 45:09.972 --> 45:13.860 But he played in the Harry Potter movies, right? 45:14.310 --> 45:15.986 Yeah. I can't remember his name either. 45:16.088 --> 45:19.458 That bad guy character he did in die hard. 45:19.624 --> 45:20.050 Yeah. 45:20.120 --> 45:21.518 Was classic. 45:21.694 --> 45:23.842 It sure was good stuff. 45:23.896 --> 45:25.138 He creeped me out. 45:25.304 --> 45:29.442 All right, well, our website is dudesinprogress.com. 45:29.496 --> 45:31.126 Dudesinprogress.com. 45:31.228 --> 45:36.006 Our email address is dudes@dudesinprogress.com. 45:36.108 --> 45:37.862 You can connect with us there. Send us email. 45:37.916 --> 45:42.646 Let us know how you felt about the show and some suggestions that you'd. 45:42.678 --> 46:12.420 Like to make for future shows. There's also there, there's ways to connect to our Facebook page, and if you want to support the show, there's a way to connect there. Dudesandprogress.com is our website. Dudes@dudesandprogress.com is our email address. Remember, Kurt, as we go into this next week, progress is certainly better than perfection. We don't need to be emotionally perfect, right? No. But if we're better tomorrow than we were today, we're doing something right. So just let's keep moving forward. 46:13.030 --> 46:19.080 I'm going to do my best, Joe. I'm not an emotional person, but I can work on it. 46:19.610 --> 46:22.550 You need to give yourself more credit. Talk to you soon, my friend. 46:22.620 --> 46:23.170 See you, pal.